Stella Dimoko Dr Freaks Journal - 'Jambite' Moves


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Saturday, November 13, 2021

Dr Freaks Journal - 'Jambite' Moves

If you attended a tertiary institution in Nigeria during the time that I did, you will recall that what we wrote was JAMB right?

'I no be small pikin na'. Then we had 3 options. Yes 'ke'. In addition, there was nothing like Post-UME. 

Let us just say that I wrote JAMB and my 3rd Choice -University of Benin without any 'leg work' admitted me to study Linguistics but my admission letter came barely 3 weeks to my First Semester examination, but trust Uniben guys, we must always get that 2 weeks' extension before every examination. Unibest peeps can you relate?

On my first night in school (University of Benin), considering the fact that I was yet to have any inkling of what I had to contend with, I embarked on a 'course-mate hunt' and I was in luck! 

I had a close neighbour who coincidentally was in English and Literature (even though all we had in common were the GNS courses, without more. I never did any English course beyond Secondary School) and two of my roommates were in Law with whom I shared Logic in common. God bless Prof O. I had the privilege of taking Logic again during my Law days, always a delight.

After my hunt, because I saw my roommates preparing for class that night, I also opted to partake in the "all-night marathon jacking" as some of them had earlier boasted.

 I opened that brown "Jimtex" bag of mine which contained from my Bournvita to Peak milk to my boxers and to my certificates and shirts. It contained all my assets at the time. I had tucked my money inside my knicker which was lying peacefully under my jean trouser and brought out that 'ankara' agbada which I had inherited from my late Dad in my capacity as the official Last Born.

 Typical of The School boy, night preps were not complete without an 'agbada' to shake off the mild cold. After decking my 'agbada', I sought to set out for class with my naughty roommates and shockingly, the roof top was brought down with laughter. They were all amused by my looks. 

In any event, I was not smart enough as I had observed that all of them had not only taken their bath, they had also decked their "Sunday Best" on that Monday night and had turned "our room" (even though I was a squatter thereat) into a 'pot pourri'/'melting pot' of perfumes, "lovender" and cologne of sorts and I had even overheard some of them rehearsing toasting lines.

 Well, I was fresh from the village but I was willing to learn. I ain't too proud to learn till date. They put me through the first course. I went to have my bath, brought out that yellow T- shirt and the blue jean and I think I had this boot then.

 I followed my "teachers" like a sheep that was being led to the slaughter. It was a pleasurable walk. Boys boasted. Boys lied about the number of girls they had toasted and "laid". 'Chai'! Good old days.

 On getting to 'Faculty', it was a different ball game entirely. It was 8.00pm, yet boys and guys were gaily dressed as if they had just resumed for morning lectures. Initially, I got carried away by the frenzy of sort but I was quickly reminded that I had just three (3) weeks to prepare for First Semester!

 I met other classmates who assisted me with notebooks and textbooks which I quickly photocopied and started reading from that night. I later relocated to the classroom where I lived for 5 weeks and guess what, I did well that Semester.

I forgot to add that my Peak milk and Bournvita poured and mixed inside that Jimtex bag and my certificates and the rest of the contents were not spared at all.

Stay Safe.
Its Kunle.


  1. Chai! @the certificates not being spared. Interesting read as usual

  2. Lovely story. I hated jacking in the classrooms at night 🌃, the mosquito 🦟 bites were horrible. It was either my room or common room downstairs.

  3. Weldon Mr. Kunle,Omo Baba Agric.
    Your memory is sound that your write up is always based on past experience.
    You still remember the date, year, time and place.
    Keep it up.


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