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Tuesday, December 07, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm.....









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BIPOLAR DEPRESSION


Hi SDK,

A friend once described me as someone that would build up a very good romantic relationship and later destroy it. Yes she was right! I can't manage a relationship.

 The longest relationship I had before I got married was 3 months. 


I tried to read up the meaning of bipolar disorder this morning. Perhaps I'm one. Not sure! 

My life has been 85% stressful right from when I was 19. I'm 40 now. 

It has always been from one challenge to the other. Presently I'm suffering from anxiety/panic attacks with depression and suicidal thoughts. 


 My marriage ended last year. I know within me that no woman can cope with me except my wife. But she's gone for good!

My issue is, the urge/spirit will just come on me and when it comes, I get angry, use derogatory words on my partners (wife or gf).


 The episode doesn't last more than 30mins but most times what would be damaged even pastor can not restore it. I have lost 3 beautiful relationships as a result of this mental disorder. Is there help for someone like me? Is it bipolar?? What do I do? Should I just forget about love?

I'm depressed!

Note: I am a VERY loving, caring and faithful man. That's , when I'm sane!


I need advices from BVs. Thanks!




*I dont know what to say.. I am shocked!




77 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Na God go help you. "Come unto HIM ALL WHO ARE HEAVY LADEN AND He WILL GIVE YOU rest."

      Delete
    2. Episodes shouldn't last just 30mins if you are bipolar (not sure)...it can last days.

      I don't think you are bipolar, but go for evaluation, whatever the case.


      I know people that truncate any relationship they have...it's called self sabotaging, they can't stay without a conflict
      you may have suffered a certain trauma which you haven't dealt with, you feel you don't deserve good things so you sabotage it to prove a point.

      You have to speak with a psychologist to get to the root of the problem, there are therapeutic assignments you'd go through on better ways to handle it when you feel an episode coming on.

      First identify your triggers, then whatever you want to do, choose the opposite, you need to train yourself.

      Do not try a new relationship until you have worked on yourself, even if you want to go back to your wife, work on yourself.

      A lot of people think marriage is about age, love or finances...they don't know no one else can change or complete you other than yourself.
      Before looking for your better half, make sure your own half is complete.

      I suggest the series "love life"

      Delete
    3. Well said Push up. You self sabotage because you think you don't deserve good things. Poster you need therapy from a professional

      Delete
    4. Dear Poster,

      Were you abused as a child? Any trauma?

      Delete
    5. Badly brought grown man with sense on entitlement mentality with a sprinkle of rudeness. Na them. I wonder why BV are sympathising with you. Psychotic disorders last for longer. Go back to the roots. Where is your mother?

      Delete
    6. You need to see a mental health expert asap for evaluation. Pls try and do it. There is no shame in it. Save urself and ur next partner pls!! Good luck

      Delete
  2. It is well! M
    Naybe you need to see a shrink or see a therapist

    ReplyDelete
  3. You need Jesus, Abi MFM kinda prayers 🤔🤔🤔 NO MIND ME, am just saying maybe you should visit a doctor

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sorry poster
    Its good you know you have a problem
    That one step ahead.

    Solution will locate you soon.

    Will be back to read comments

    ReplyDelete
  5. You need proper mental evaluation, not self diagnosis. You may be placed on meds and do therapy after consulting a psychiatrist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first step to recovery is recognising you have a problem and seeking solution.
      Please see a psychiatric doctor and also include prayers and the Word of God. Surrender your life totally to Christ if u haven't done that.
      Poster,address the issue now so u don't end up sad,frustrated and alone in old age. Shalom

      Delete
  6. Visit psychologist, talk to your doctor to refer you to one.Also you need deliverance from such spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Over to the doctors in the house,may you receive the help that you need. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster sincere apologies about how you feel and I believe you should see a psychologist for proper diagnosis and follow up (We will only be guessing if we try to figure out what it is)...However, don't allow your mental challenges to define you, you must acknowledge that you need to change and overcome what you feel now....You can't afford to accept this way of life and seek help from professionals on how you can rise above this....It is not an easy journey but you have to believe in yourself that you can overcome this and live life to the fullest...Right now, you need to learn to love yourself immensely and wholly before you let someone into your life...You really need all the love and support system now...All the best...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sincere apologies kwa? Why are you apologizing to the poster?

      Delete
  9. I think you need to see a shrink asap cos it seems your situation keeps getting worse. I don't know what else to say🙆

    ReplyDelete
  10. My brother you can not retain love.
    You feel there is no true love anywhere, that every love is a scam.

    You have a fear that your partner will dump you, it's only a matter of time... With that mentality you sabotage the love and relationship... They leave you, your fears are confirmed eventually.

    You need total overhauling of mindset as regards love and relationship. Cherish what you have, even though the future is not guaranteed, enjoy the process, enjoy the moment.

    My brother no be mental disorder, you are always in gathering where they say "all women na bastard" and a those stuff then u go home to act and vomit according to those rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, don't listen to this. Go to a psychiatric hospital near you and engage a psychiatrist, I have done so before when I was so depressed, life completely lost flavour for me, I was placed on medication and counselling and I don't need the medication again. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with some kind of thoughts when period is approaching but I'm learning to manage it.

      I learnt it's not only naked/out of control people that need psychiatrists, people going through stuff or people that have personality disorders can also benefit from psychiatric help.

      Delete
    2. I kinda agree with @sexfeeta
      The poster is self sabotaging, because he doesn't expect anything good.

      I had a friend, who accuses his partners or spoils his relationships because he feels he will get cheated on, or be called a mumu if he expresses too much emotion, so he keeps things bottled up and always expects the worse so when the relationship doesn't work out, he can prove himself right.

      Most of them do not even see it as a problem so the poster is on the right track, please speak to a professional

      Delete
    3. Push Up,
      I was exactly what you described up there after my marriage hit the rocks.
      God showed me mercy as I gradually worked on my mindset and I finally met someone that has shown me real love.

      It has been pure bliss for a year plus now and I am at peace.

      Delete
    4. Hmmm we have some on this blog.

      Delete
  11. Over to the doctors and pastor's in the house,may you get the help that you need.
    It is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  12. Go see a psychologist.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My dear you need help, pls look for a good therapist if not you will stay alone when old age catches up with you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will diagnose what is wrong with you and put you on medication. The earlier the better. If you are in Nigeria and are looking for one, try teaching Hospitals.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So sorry dear prwy you fidn answers

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster you just described me.the only difference is that I'm a female.I'm very lucky to meet good and rich men but end destroying the relationship for no reason,I belittle the men and use derogatory words on them.got engaged with a diamond ring only to wake up and end it one day.then start regretting what I did later

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spirit husband

      Delete
    2. Your spiritual horseband has paid your bride price that is why you keep losing good men. What he did is to make you hate men. It is well. You really need Jesus Christ to take over.

      Too many people are just really under bondage and don't really know how to overcome it

      Delete
    3. Please watch love life" on net nijah
      It's not spiritual...still pray about it though
      You haven't dealt with something you experienced...you may not even remember it exists until you open up your mind

      Delete
    4. Nigerians sef, why is there no comment on spirit wife for poster? Cos he is male? That's how they put so many women's minds in bondage!

      Delete
  17. Psychologist to the rescue.

    It is well.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Diagnosis - Mental instability.
    Treatment - Deliverance + therapy.
    Duration of treatment - With immediate effect and until all symptoms disappear.

    Signed
    Physician Metoyou Esq.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You sound like someone i know........i can partialy relate. YOU NEED HELP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's why the poster wrote in, he already knows he needs HELP.
      What kind of HELP should he get.

      Delete
  20. Please there's nothing God cannot do. Pray to him and ask for guidance. E hugs to u

    ReplyDelete
  21. Please see a psychiatrist. Good you’ve identified your challenge. May God heal you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You need to meet JESUS. Start fellowshipping with him everyday (30 minutes or 1hour). He is the ONLY ONE that can help you

    ReplyDelete
  23. Spirit wife at work.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Identifying you have the problem is a sure way to finding solution to it. May you get the help you seek.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You need to see a psychiatrist first,then back it up with prayers,you are healed in Jesus name,E-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ehya sorry poster.
    Make you no shame, waka go meet psychotherapist or psychiatric doctor na dem go fit help you.
    Also don't under-estimate the power of prayer. Also commit your ways in God's hand, seek Jesus and you will be fine

    ReplyDelete
  27. You need to see a psychologist at once for proper evaluation of what could be the problem.
    You are capable of being loved but you have to love yourself first.
    You can't give what you don't have

    ReplyDelete
  28. Go to God in prayer. Be sincere with your prayers. If possible do midnight prayers . Ask holy spirit to help you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. First step is knowing and admitting that there’s something wrong.Second step is finding help.Seeing a psychiatrist and going to therapy will help too

    ReplyDelete
  30. Plz do not self diagnosed. See a Psychiatrist. Go to the hospital. They are best suited to help you. Plz do it soonest!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Intermittent explosive disorder is a type of impulse control disorder.
    You need to see a psychiatrist and may require behavioral interventions.
    Depending on where you stay, there are public and private psychiatrists that can provide the help you need.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I think I suffer from this too, unexplainable anger, thank God hubby has learned how to handle it,even my first daughter who's just 10 has learned how to handle it,I just pray it stops before it caused damages

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So when do you think damages will show? When the recipient of your anger starts bleeding from their head.
      Go and get treatment before you destroy people completely psychologically .

      Delete
  33. Dear poster, something terrible happened in your past and you brain has hidden it/made you forget. It’s the trauma that’s affecting you. Go see a psychiatrist to help you remember that issue, resolve it and heal you. Also pray for God’s healing as well cos with God all things are possible

    ReplyDelete
  34. Almost all problems on earth (even under the earth) emanate from the spiritual. Madness? Spiritual. Temper? The same thing. The one you are talking about is clear. The spirits just want to frustrate you. Their aim is to make sure you don't reach God's destined path for you. Because, this problem can even graduate to you having problems with people in the business world. Even the bipolar you are talking about has its basis in the devil.

    It sounds so much like you have a spirit wife. Spirit spouses are very jealous beings. They can't stand you showing love to someone for long. They scatter it in a short while. They scratch at your emotions. They influence your actions, speak to your thought life, you act out what they tell you (while you are busy thinking it's your thought) and boom! Relationship scatters.

    Advice: Go for thorough deliverance. Try MFM. They are very good. Mind you, it may not be a one time journey. You may have to go several times before you'll be completely free. Remain VERY prayerful too. The devil doesn't give up easily. Eat the word of God. By eating, I mean, read, meditate, memorize and speak it into your life. Flee every form of sin. The devil uses the cracks that sin leaves on the walls of your life to gain entrance into your life. Buy prayer books at MFM that relate to your problem and continue praying.

    Finally, always sing praises to God. This drives away dark and evil presence from your life. If you want to go to the doctor, do so. But don't let them use their talk to override the spiritual aspect of your solution.

    God be with you all the way

    ReplyDelete
  35. At least u know you have a problem,that’s a first step,if you can go on midnight prayers,ask God to deliver you from the demonic spirit of anger that possesses you and spoils things for you..if you can add fasting to ur prayers,seek the face of God from ur heart and he will deliver you.what God cannot do does not exist.

    ReplyDelete
  36. The first step to solving any problem is acknowledging that the problem exists in the first place, which is what you have done.

    That said, have you noticed the predisposing factors, as per what triggers such? How was your upbringing? Do you have traumas that you've not recovered from?

    In all these, it's advisable you seek help from professional therapists.

    Most of all, there is nothing God cannot fix, for what God cannot do does not exist.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  37. You are not alone, many people in the world have mental challenges. Go see a psychiatrist.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mr poster in order to attain maturity, you have to subject yourself to the rigours of maturity......
    Please work on yourself!!!! By doing so, you need to see a psychologist.
    I am speaking from experience, something definitely happened in your past that is triggering this which you are not even aware of!
    From my experience, I never believed psychologist could even do anything till I accidentally became friends with one, who helped me heal without his knowledge.......
    In my case, my friends use to call me per second, per second.. because of how much I quarell with people.
    At some point, my closest buddies all ghosted me because of how irrational and troublesome I was, infact when the thing starts, you would be shocked at how far I would go! I was always answering querry everyday at work because of my attitude....
    Please seek help, and note there is nothing spiritual about it!!!!
    I would have dropped the guy's handle who helped me for you because he knows his onions well, but he is a blog visitor and an asshole (lol)
    Best wishes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He’s an asshole but yet you benefited from him. What you need is spiritual healing and cleansing!!@ 17:13 shior

      Delete
  39. I feel there is nothing wrong with you except self control,learn to control your thoughts,words and anger and you will be fine.
    When I was single I never stayed in a relationship for upto a year and my friends told me I can't stay in marriage but I have attained 9 years,which my hubby still loves me so much
    So i feel you allow your emotions control you.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yes, "no pastor can fix it..."
    But JESUS can fix it. Give your life to him;
    begin reading his teachings today.
    call upon him; Jesus, Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
  41. He mentioned that there is an urge/spirit that comes on him. Please doctors deal with ill health not spiritual issues. It will be good for you to go to Mountain of fire for deliverance. It's very very important. Deal with it spiritually first. My 2 cents.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good thing you have acknowledged you have struggles and just like every person who falls ill and sees a doctor, you need to go see a doctor. Don't feel shy nor ashamed. A physiological ill health is just as any other part of the body having challenges too.
    Start by going to a government hospital- teaching hospital or fmc, I said these because you could get different consultants on one premises just by the GO escalating the case.
    So the general doctor after assessment woukd refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist, you'd be fine be God's grace. Follow your therapy and say good things about yourself no matter how small.
    Sta

    ReplyDelete
  43. You cannot self-diagnose and label yourself. If you recognize that you have a problem then go seek professional help. The internet is good for many things, but it is not a doctor. Got get help from someone trained to heal ppl of their illnesses.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hmmm,most times our problems are spiritual, that manifest in somewhat physical issues.Poster, needs prayers and needs to learn how to pray for himself too. He needs psychotherapy. He may have experienced a trauma in which triggers his self sabotage. Identify what triggers your feelings before your actions. Work on your self talk, thoughts and rules. You have set certain rules for yourself that defines you , revisit the rules and replace cos obviously they are hurting you. Your feelings are responses of your thoughts. Work on your belief system cos it's draining you. Get a paper , start with dates of your first pain that cause anxiety to you, most times all our anxieties and panic attacks are related to one thing we are deeply afraid of. Start from when you are young as you can remember, cos when you start dismantling from first floor, it makes it easier for the whole floors to collapse. I am lazy to type ,please my apologies. Remember if you feed your fears your faith will die but when you feed your faith your fears will die

    ReplyDelete
  45. Pls seek professional help and do your personal effort to get better because your healing comes from the effort you put into your healing.

    I have a friend like this poster who have not being able to keep friends for more than a year, people wonder how we still manage to remain friend for more than 16yes. She's a very nice,caring, spiritual and very beautiful babe with a golden heart, but when she swaps to her other side ehn....you will hate her but her episodes is usually short lived sha.

    People like these are usually free spirited people that don't hold grudges oo but their Words and Actions dey spoil things too much.

    ReplyDelete
  46. What was your growing up like?
    What's your family background like?
    How did your dad treat your mum and are they still together if alive?
    Do you have self esteem issues when it comes to women?
    Please ask yourself this questions and see a psychologist asap....all will be well by His power.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You should go and see a psychologist/therapist and not a psychiatrist. If it is decided that you need medication, them you will need a psychiatrist to do that. You issues may clear up talking with a psychologist/therapist who can help with behavioural issues. However, if it turns out it maybe a mental issue needing medication like mapped correctors etc, then you will be referred to a psychiatrist.

    From what I have read, it look s like you have self sabotaging behaviours as alluded to by several people in the comment section. I believe in science, I also believe in the divine. Therefore, I will advise you, if you are Igbo to go home and ask them to take you to someone who can communicate with your chi to find out why these behaviours are happening. At the same time, please make use of resources/help offered by psychologists. This is very important because change which needs to happen must be physical, mental and spiritual.

    If you are Yoruba, find a good Babalawo or Iyanifa to help you connect with your Ori. Please do not believe the lie that they are all evil.

    All in all, please avoid anyone telling you it can 'just' be prayed away. It can't. It will take months, maybe years, but if you stick to it, you will come out of it. It's possible.

    Don't forget, the change which needs to happen is three-fold: physical, mental & spiritual.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  48. You should go and see a psychologist/therapist and not a psychiatrist. If it is decided that you need medication, them you will need a psychiatrist to do that. You issues may clear up talking with a psychologist/therapist who can help with behavioural issues. However, if it turns out it maybe a mental issue needing medication like mapped correctors etc, then you will be referred to a psychiatrist.

    From what I have read, it look s like you have self sabotaging behaviours as alluded to by several people in the comment section. I believe in science, I also believe in the divine. Therefore, I will advise you, if you are Igbo to go home and ask them to take you to someone who can communicate with your chi to find out why these behaviours are happening. At the same time, please make use of resources/help offered by psychologists. This is very important because change which needs to happen must be physical, mental and spiritual.

    If you are Yoruba, find a good Babalawo or Iyanifa to help you connect with your Ori. Please do not believe the lie that they are all evil.

    All in all, please avoid anyone telling you it can 'just' be prayed away. It can't. It will take months, maybe years, but if you stick to it, you will come out of it. It's possible.

    Don't forget, the change which needs to happen is three-fold: physical, mental & spiritual.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tufiakwa!!! Babalawo ke??? Don't make your matter worse o

      Delete
    2. Don't let ignorance blind you. The God of Isreal that you people are calling up and down, go and find out how the original owners of the religion (jews) carry out divination before making any major decision. You think it's just by shouting 'I am a Christian'? Educate yourself please.

      Delete
  49. This is IED - intermittent Explosive disorder. Depending on where you are, you may need psychotherapeutic interventions and medications, if a severe anxiety component.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Please do not kill yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anon 03:03, are you the asshole I was referring to????? If NO, then I wonder why you should involve yourself in what you know nothing about!!!!!
    Do you know why I called my friend that???
    Abeg swerve...., I am sure the guy in question would just smile when he sees the comment, but Amebo like you would want to pocknose and guilttrip me !!!!!!!!
    Btw, there is nothing wrong with going for spiritual cleansing okay!
    You also need it too, Dumbass!

    ReplyDelete

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