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Sunday, January 30, 2022


Gbege don happen oooooh!!!

So, after last week’s write-up, I decided to do little experiment and showed my wife this column. She is not a visitor to this blog though I introduced her some time ago. I showed her some of the very controversial pieces I have written in the past.

While reading, I took my time to observe her. I could see the disgust on her face.

 After reading about three of them, I asked what she thinks about “this man”. 
She responded “He is stupid of course, what kind of a man goes online to brag about his cheating and nefarious life. I don’t even know where women see this kind of men”, she concluded.

I could only imagine if she knew it was her beloved husband she was referring to, Funny abi?

The next day, I also asked my staff whom I employed through this blog what she thinks about the “married man chronicle writer”. “I like his write ups but the man is somehow, he sounds arrogant, though he does make sense sometimes but I don’t like his guts”, she said.

Apart from my editor, SDK and my singles mingle friend. No other person truly knows the author of the column. But a lot of people would be shocked if they were to find out the real author behind this column. Because in their eyes and with the dealings and interaction with me. They have always seen me as a perfect husband, boss and colleague.

I often hear my sister-in-laws tell me wife that they want to get married to a husband like me. It’s kind of funny because like most people and with humans in general, people will always see you in the light of the behavior you show to them.

Does that mean I am a bad person pretending to be good? Definitely not. I’m just a regular man who loves his family and will do everything to be seen as a good husband.

I will be suspending this series for the time being. I eventually decided to take this decision after I watched a TedEX talk by Nashater Deu Solheim a couple of days ago, where she talked about authenticity with empathy and I got a very interesting perspective about things.

I started this column to share “my truth”, from my perspective and based on my life experiences. It was also a means of reflecting on some of the mistakes I have made as a person; some of which I have paid for even with the loss of a child. I have had my good days and pretty much my regrets; I wear my scares like a badge of honour and I moving on with my life.

Over the course of writing these my chronicles or “dear aunty column of advices” as Stella called it in one of her recent editorial reviews, I have always followed up with reading the comments every Sunday as that became the highlights of my Sunday evenings.

One some good days, the comments could be averagely good. On the bad days, I get my fill of such comments, after all SDK BVs never disappoint and they are quite predictable. Sometimes I already knew what was going to hit me from the write-ups but I still go ahead to write it because I wanted to tell my truth in the best and bluntest way possible.

I have been called all sorts of names. Sometimes, my wife and even unknown daughters are not spared. But then, I asked for it and it wasn’t that I was expecting well-meaning people to clap for me for my indiscretion and crazy advice I sometimes give. Besides, I had the option of sharing a picture of a perfect marriage and the wonderful husband that I would claim to be instead of this; but I chose this way. I felt I want to share the truth that lots of us can relate with.

Alas, I was wrong. Even my dear wife detested the kind of man that will share such things and sound this way. She opined that such a man does not even love and respect his wife. I took it a step further to asked her if she thinks that man was me. He responds even blew me further, “Where will you have time to be writing such nonsense? Even at that, you are not that kind of person”, She said.

I instantly knew that I shouldn’t be writing this column. It was all a waste of my time. I knew that my wife is no different from lots of people who insult me one a weekly basis but think so highly of their husbands.

I recently started a company of my own and have been pretty much busy with managing my regular job and running this business. With a weekly piece of an average of 1150 words, it takes a lots of time and effort in trying to figure out that right set of things to talk about, especially with a diverse and highly contentious issue as the marriage institution.

I have been having some challenges with meeting up and I am not making the best of this piece. I would prefer to leave it at this stage when it still made some little sense howbeit even if it is to a small fraction to readers.

Secondly, this has always been an emotionally charged piece. Sometimes, you read it and get angry and pissed at the “useless” man writing this piss, sorry piece. Yea, I feel your anger from your comments. I understand your feelings. If not for anything, I can’t forget the look on my wife’s face when she was reading some of my write-ups.

I feel pretty sad that I have to get people through such emotions on a regular basis. Even though I feel I am telling some truths. People will prefer not to hear it this way. Maybe I am being too blunt with a spice of arrogance and narcissism. ‘

There is no angrier feeling than that of a woman hearing that a man cheats and he is talking about it. Whether he claims to have changed or not. I wasn’t being empathetic about my authenticity according to the words of Nashater Deu Solheim. For that I’m truly sorry. It had to take me seeing my wife going through such bout of emotions for me to understand that.

Lastly, I won’t go without talking about the level of hypocrisy of us as a people. My wife would rather see me as a perfect husband. People would rather see me as a good man; whereas I have my faults and do lots of stupid things. We have all become a group of people who love to pretend.

Nobody wants to be the bad husband, the cheating partners and the so called “dogs”, also nobody wants to be associated with such person even as a husband.

But the sad truth is that we live amongst you as fathers, brothers, colleagues and even husbands. This is who we are. I see me in men all over the place that I deal with them on daily basis. It just that nobody wants to admit it. And what do I even know self...I should speak for myself.

Finally, I want to thank you for your time, your patience and most importantly, your comments and support. I truly appreciate every one of you. You have all given me a gift that I will always treasure.

This is just a will hear from me soon.

And for one more time.... Ciao!

'Nah wah!...if everyone liked what you wrote , that would also be a problem. Next time when you set out on something programme your mind not to care about what people think or go around looking for opinion....

Writing made you feel good, it was a form of release and i hope you find closure...
if you decide to come back you can talk about fatherhood and how it impacts on men both positively and negatively and the change men go through, which was also the path i thought you would tow when you started.....

E go be!


  1. See me doing awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
    I'm in love with how you write. Bikonu I said in love with how he write o before una go come give me a taste of my own medicine.

    I have learnt a lot from your column though although for the most time,you do come off as without empathy and a tad bit arrogant. Now that you have seen yourself from the eyes of ya wife,I guess I can now forgive you Oga for that piece you wrote about your friend that you guys advised against marrying a single mom.
    Mr Chronicler,try reply comments today o

    1. You write well
      The truth?

      After seeing who you are in the mirror do you adjust and become the best version of yourself better or turn away not to be confronted by your true image and join in the hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance of the average Nigerian , who wants to be seen as good but are not good?

      Mr Writer
      You are called to GROWTH through change

      Seize it and truly evolve into a genuinely better you

      Consistent effort
      Better choices
      Closer walk with GOD
      Honesty with yourself
      Courage to identify your weaknesses
      Willingness to genuinely change
      Evolution from circles who do not encourage you to grow and are hindrances to growth

    2. I voted your column as the best during SDK award nomination last year. So far it is still my best. We women are too hypocritical. A woman will be beaten blue and black by her husband and still come out to shine teeth and mock another woman who exchanged words with her husband. Statistics shows more than 50% of marrried men cheat but every womans husband does not cheat. Some married women cover their husbands even after sleeping with their own daughter but come out to claim having a blissful marriage. I have a neighbor whose husband brings women to her home to sleep with. Beat her at the slightest provocation. She dare not send her own children on errand when her husband is at home but she is always mocking one advanced successful unmarried lady in our compound. Does PDA anytime she is going out with her husband and see us outside,🤣🤣🤣. What a life!.
      I have worked in a 95% men dominated environment. What my eyes saw cannot be written in words. I fear even the imams and so called pastors. YOU ONLY KNOW YOURSELF. We are here to learn. Let's keep our personal opinions to ourselves. Stop the annon hypocrites. If you are pained. Don't open the column. Go to the next. I feel this man is going through emotional pressure. I wonder how we sleep at night knowing we are the cause of another person's pain/tears Imagine taking your time with all sincererity to write and all you got was insults and all manner of derogatory words. Thank you sir. I have personally learnt alot from you.
      Please don't feel bad. Your write up is educating and entertaining.

    3. I will miss your column.
      I have learnt much from your articles...not joking.

      May God bless you

    4. "My wife would rather see me as a perfect husband"

      That's because you pretend to be perfect.
      Why don't you show her who you really her and see what happens.
      Guy repent. You come here dey write long epistle

    5. Exactly, he is the hypocrite

    6. His narcissism is on another level. He put a mask on, married her with the mask on and now he’s saying she only wants to see the mask….when he told her the mask was his actual FACE! I think he’s disappointed in himself

  2. Sometimes you made sense, other days i get so angry and pray never to meet a man like you. Please be the best man that you can to your wife and kids, this life we will all go one day, and answerable to God almighty. I wish you the very best

  3. Oga poster, if your wife can't figure out you are the poster after reading your articles, then all you have posted are fiction.

    What about
    the wedding story?
    Your colleagues and friends stories?
    Her reactions towards your actions in some stories?

    After reading all that, she didn't figure out you are the poster?

    I can't believe I have been reading novel all these while.

    Well, it's all good. I enjoyed your fiction because it emphasised on the realities of life.

    1. Lol Chike,you're funny

    2. He only showed her three of the articles he wanted her to read. Obviously, he must have selected the ones that wouldn't give him away.

    3. Do you even read to understand? He said she read 3 of the columns and not all. Maybe those 3 didnt give too much details about his family

    4. Metoyou,

      You clearly use your brain.

    5. Do we really know who we r with? What is within each soul?
      Pple marry arm robbers, Ritualist without knowing it.

  4. I do not think that he was gunning for claps or pats on the back.

    Truthfully, and interestingly, this is my first time opening this post but I'll give it a thumbs up if I could.

    He nailed it; Humans, very hypocritical beings!

    1. Same here I like this column cos I tend to see things from a man perspective. LI don't like reading comment sometimes cos most nigerian women are hypocrite, blind and unintelligent, nigeria women are just blinded by the fact because of emotions incase some you don't know some of your husbands are rapist, ritualist, evil occult men, sleep with anything. But you all see good and perfect man it is only God who is good and perfect. All the best mr writer

    2. Unintelligent people are often the nosiest deceiving only themselves and covering up what should be treated

  5. Such is life, no one likes to hear the truth even though it stares them in the face.

    I can image what will happen if your wife eventually realize that you are the one behind the column, I think by then she will review it again and see it from another angle but you definitely wont escape the consequences of your revelations and actions.

    It has been a wonderful column filled with surprises, facts, ego and reality. I hope you will be able to come back with a better experience, one everyone will be able to identify with. Good luck with your new business and enjoy your break.

  6. Chia .let this be truly a break oooooh. I appreciate you too

  7. If your wife mistakenly reads this piece though, she’d know you were the one all along.
    I hope, for the sake of her peace of mind that she doesn’t.

    I recently found out that someone I’d dated in the past, almost married and held in high esteem, was cheating during the relationship and even cheating now on the person he eventually married.
    I’m single and that discovery disillusioned me about the idea of getting married.
    If most men ( even the ones we think are paragons of virtue) would really cheat even after marriage, why should I even bother?

    I’m comfortable financially and nowadays, toying with the idea of adoption, and facing my front, rather than risking heartbreak (again) and mortgaging my health and sanity over a man.
    God help me.

    1. Your last line is golden

      Many trivialise and gloss over the effect of adultery on the woman

      It comes from seeing women as inferior beings that seemingly have the capacity to absorb what the person dishing it cannot take even a percentage of

      A form of mental and emotional insensitivity

    2. You are seeking adoption in order not to marry a man that will cheat???
      Not that you're unable to conceive???
      Hmmm! My dear even the person you'll adopt and train may still grow up to cheat! Life is not perfect, let's not expect perfection from anyone. Cheating hurts like mad. I have been a victim! I thought I was going to die or run mad when I discovered my calm husband was cheating on me!!!
      Now, I have transfered all the love I had for him to myself. So I now love myself double!!!
      No one is perfect and we'll all be fine as long as we don't expect perfection from mere mortals.
      God bless us all.

    3. Anon, adoption is one of the highest forms of love. For Christians, marriage is honorable and our bodies are honorable. Adoption is better than delibrate fornication and pregnancy outside wedlock. So many kids need a home.

      But first anon, don't be discouraged and don't despair. Remove all anxiety and pray and hope to meet a suitable match for yourself.

  8. Dear writer, I appreciate the time and other resources spent to put out your story.
    I don't think your wife is wrong for the reaction you got, every one wants the best, don't detest her for that, she's living her truth by showing you that reaction same way you want people to accept you for who you are. Why not think about her opinion than trying to defend your flaws, everyone can not be wrong at the same time.
    I know you see yourself in other people around you, don't you think your partner deserves something better by knowing the real you or you step up and work on your flaws.
    I wish you the best in your new founded business.


  9. What if your wife reads this your column today?

  10. So what if your wife reads this one and sees that the entire column has been about her beloved husband?

    We'll Sha miss you.

  11. Whether bvs were happy or pissed by his column,like he said he only tells u what many of our menfolk do. Whether it's known and acknowledged or not. Me l just saw him talk about the realities as they are. Its either l agreed, laughed or just didnt care. And he is correct. The hypocrisy is top notch

    1. Everybody is now singing hypocrisy, hypocrisy. Please where's the hypocrisy in people bashing a man who takes pride in cheating? Yes, men cheat but dont go about boasting about tour escapades

    2. I will really miss this column
      One column I've never miss once

      I saw reality there rather than our fake life

      Do come back
      Some of us will wait

    3. You don't miss the column. You will only miss someone to bash on Sundays 🤣

    4. Anon 14:05 if you don't see the hypocrisy, then u are one of them

    5. Anon 14:05, na only you talk true. He has been giving us a picture of how most successful married men behave and we have been reacting how we should, how his wife did, with disgust over his trivializing wrong behavior.

      If you are not okay with the picture you see, then change it, it’s up to you, has always been and will always be. I won’t ask you to stop writing or continue writing, that’s your choice but work on being better, what is wrong is wrong and people will react how they deem fit.

  12. That your wife's initial assessment is harsher than the assessments of well meaning blog visitors her and many
    were vilified for it. Your wife told you the truth. No good man, a husband brags about his fornication, adulteries, orgies, drunkeness and supports his married friends that do same.

  13. Billionaire Soonest30 January 2022 at 13:45

    i would be a hypocrite to say i did not gain anything from every of your post on Sundays. it was eye-opening, blunt, informative and interesting. Sincerely, the positives outweighed the negatives for me. My apologies that it took you proposing a break for me to encourage you and express my gains from your write ups. For the records i'm a lady and i say Thank You. Be You and God bless you

    1. I learnt a whole lot from his write-ups to be honest.
      Thank you from me, too.

  14. I wish you well, Oga. I love your column. It is my best here. 💕

  15. Just a word..not ALL men are cheaters so don't say you see yourself in all the men you see or come in contact with. Lastly, i hope the disgust you read in your wife's face will be enough to make you TRY to change your ways. Ciao

  16. Writer, thanks for the time you shared your truth here. Life has to go on.... I wish you all the best in your new business.

  17. Poster please try to change!. Stop cheating and leave single women alone!. Are you not tired, when do you intend to stop?. Let go of all these vanities and become a better man.

  18. No need to apologize for speaking your truth.

    I really enjoy your column and I hope you resume writing soon.


  19. Will some of you on this blog apologize to those of us that expressed disgust like your wife did?
    We were called all sorts of names and our only crime was telling you that you the truth about your apostasy.

  20. It was an interesting ride with you, thank you for being you, I will miss your column, I wish you the best

  21. I am glad you are taking a break, the column was always triggering for me. Never liked it. Good bye.

  22. Hmmm see format!! He has successfully turned his haters to fans. Everybody is now going to miss him,everybody learnt "one or two things" from his write ups.

    1. No i'm not. Sorry. It's just funny how almost everyone suddenly loves the

    2. What's there to hate in a brazenly adulterous man?

    3. Yeah right... 😀😀😀

  23. I enjoyed reading your chronicle because of the lessons that I have learnt from them.
    Oga please try and work on the cheating side of your life. Repent if possible, face your wife only.

    I wish you good luck on your new project and I hope to hear from you very soon.

  24. None of us is a saint. Folks love to criticize, pointing at tooth pick in one's eyes, overlooking planks in theirs. Very many bvs read the post biased before comprehending thereby neglecting the message there in.

    If I'm to give the post a name, I would name it "Inside the Mind of a Married Man", The Story From The Side Of A Married Man". The post was insightful, a peak into a married man's mind, what goes on in men's head. To some female bvs, once they read the word "cheat" nothing else matters to them. Names were called the writer and all. Now the writer has apologized, will those that insulted and called him names apologise to him too?

    Hypocrisy here is on another level.

    Thank you Mr writer. Your post was one of my best here.

    Good luck.

    1. Dont mind the holier than thou that have no sin in them. Always criticizing people for speaking their truth up and down. Something you will learn from and move on, the hypocrites decided to be a judge in it.

  25. I appreciate the Column a lot . Come back soon. I mean like next week !!!! This is from a man who has never cheated physically but has had pressures to do same. Love ya big

    1. May God help you to keep resisting and be victorious knowing the end will not be profitable rather might end in having diseases,heart aches or broken home. Make your wife your friend and speak to yourself daily how you will make your children proud of you. Trust me there are homes devoid of such,homes that are fulfilling God's purposes and not distracted by these traps.

  26. It is because of this column that Stella stopped uploading my comments; both the ones I make anonymously and
    that which I make from my spouse's devices. My spouse is a blog visitor but does not comment often and I sometimes
    use the other devices to comment even before realizing that I have commented with another sign in and the ID will show.
    Anyway, I have made up my mind not to bother anymore. I still read this blog when I have time and sometimes comment
    anonymously like I am doing at the moment. At the nick of time we will know who is who.
    As for this writer, I wish you well. You have done your bit and most were not well received by some of us whose sensibilities and godly tenets you insulted in hypocrisy. Cheers.

  27. I will really miss this column. Oga i hope you will be back soon, please dont waste time. I learnt a lot from your write ups and looked for forward to it every week.

  28. Mr writer I am glad you saw the state of your marriage going down in a flash as your wife read fewvof the columns you deliberately picked for her.I am sure the fear you saw made you realise her own reality and the new reality you would have if she discovered the truth. It shows that despite it was your truth to cheat and brag,no one loves to be at the receiving end. Imagine a wife was writing her own truth about how she sleeps around when her husband isn't around knowing she is hot and has options of different men due to the nature of her job,won't men here become scared ,sad and worried. When your truth hurts the other party and gives ripple effects,the best is to have some introspect and think of the end in mind. It is clearly obvious you would have lost your marriage or it won't be the same again if she discovered it was you. Like Staella outrightly pointed,there is a lot to talk about as a married man. Challenges facing fatherhood in Nigeria,how do you balance being a friend and a dad to your kids etc. We are use to hearing men cheat,we just expected an array of hope ,something different,something to propel is take a bold step into this awesome institution.
    Imagine you telling a young single lady who wanted to focus on not becoming a leech ( The set of people Ceaser hates) to go get a guy simple because time was not her friend( your opinion right?)
    Yes humans are two faced,hypocrites etc but it's something no one will ever get used to. Even God hates lukewarm people and said he would spit them out. Being a true christain means knowing your truth and repenting knowing this truth of ours hurts.
    Don't go please,just talk about other realities of fatherhood. We will keep hearing of cheating scandals from other stories. God bless your new business and keep your home too.

  29. Oga Chronicle of a married man, please hold it with the hypocrisy card ♦️, is your character the ideal one, will you like your son-in-law to be "you"?
    There is no sugar-coating things here, you do well, we praise you, you do what is wrong, you'd be told you are wrong outrightly. Did you expect a pat on the back?

    If you expect faithfulness from your wife, why shouldn't she expect the same from you, but you have not only failed in that regard, you have refused to see anything wrong with the path you once trode or probably still on.

    There is no excuse for doing wrong, no one is perfect but own up to your mistakes and painstakingly make conscious attempts to do better.

    Thank you for your column thus far. BYE BYE!

    Twins ♊ Squared

    1. Thank you Twins-squared. You have spoken well.

    2. I love this line..."If you expect faithfulness from your wife, why should she not expect same from you?"
      Oga married man and his minions shouting hypocrisy upandan please come abd answer.

  30. Good for you to reflect. Hopefully, you get rid of your misogynistic views.

  31. I'll miss your column, this is my first time commenting.
    I'm a lady and I must say that I saw truth and learnt some lessons in your chronicles.
    Some even gave me the much needed closure, and ways to handle men (More like think like a man) Your column will be missed sir

  32. Morale of today's write-up: Never show your wife your write-up

  33. This world would be a better place if we all stopped being hypocrits!
    I loved how you were blunt, sometimes I was indeferent, other times I felt you shouldn't do some things you did as a decent husband.
    But from your column I noticed a lot of us love to shield the truth and rather not wanna know about it.
    I could enjoy writing like you anonymously if I could cos there are certain things one would say or do and get bashed, but it's who they are, it doesn't make them evil.
    From life's experience I have seen that those who love to live in denial usually learn the hard way.
    Well done Mr married man.

  34. Bros I will miss reading your column. Thank you for your time, human beings don't like hearing the truth in a blunt way. God bless you.

  35. Honestly, I will miss this column. You are so real! Your column is one of the reasons I come here on Sundays, I always look forward to it. You tell the tales of a typical naija married man, undiluted!

  36. I personally will love to read from you again. you have done well.

  37. You obviously want to be found out and cause chaos in your home. I think you subconsciously want a divorce and just don't know how to go about it. Perhaps, something happened earlier in your life making you doubt that you'll be surrounded by kids and a wife in your old age.

    If not, why would you show your wife the articles and suggest that you may be the writer? In the hopes that she'll look into the series and find you out after reading the details in your other pieces eg of your wedding, friends, parents etc.

    Why would you share that the staff you employed was through sdk or the SandM part? So that she'll finally connect the dots and say something. This is not just about lusting after fame, this is actively seeking destruction. This is not just about enjoying reading comments on Sunday. This is enjoying the adrenaline rush and courting disaster.

    Mr, you have never for once spoken about men who have kept their vows and protected their homes. They exist in fairly large numbers but you choose not to befriend them. Something in you believes you are unworthy of a life of integrity and it is pushing you to unravel. In my opinion, You have a very low expectation of yourself and don't wish yourself well. Upon questioning from your conscience and comments, you come back with the false narrative of "all men do it". You won't be writing this pieces.

    Women who stay with men like this should know that there is hope but there is also the possibility of the man leaving a woman who won't leave him. Take D'owner or Wasiu Ayinde for example. This writer should please consider that the new chapter he is trying to birth by this column does not wipe away the children who he owes stability and integrity right now and going forward. Have you considered what the personal choices and failings of you and your friends can do to the psyche of the young girls you are raising? Are you telling you just heard of empathy this week? What of the young men who you are telling to trample on their crowns in the name of "most men"? Will you wish your kind of man upon a daughter you love? Address this urge to self-destruct and don't lose all that you have. You are intelligent enough to see how easy or hard the friends wrecking their lives have it.

    Personally, I saw your column as a cry for help and I hope that you find peace. If a column initiated to encourage the bond between father and child degenerated into a diary of escapades, lurid encounters and trivializing of basic values, a lot of work needs to be done inside.

  38. I enjoyed reading your column
    Weldone Sir 👌👌👌👌👌

  39. I read your column every sunday,I must commend your Column,but I don't just like the cheating path,I pray you change,not seeing a big deal in cheating and all that is what ticks me off,I think you need to change some of your friends,evil communication corrupts good manners,my ex was like you but the moment he stopped, everything trippled for him,no one is perfect.

  40. Even though I don't comment regularly, I enjoyed your column so much. Always looked forward to it. You will be missed

  41. First time I'm commenting on your column but honestly it was my favourite column on sdk and I'm eager every Sunday waiting for it. We no just dey like the truth. I wish you all the happiness in your endeavours.

  42. I like people that say it as it is, don't sugar coat things and that is me. Am a very blunt person. Bros I have always loved your column and I look forward to it every Sunday, will miss this column, hope to see you soon on this SDK ville. dooh Tode.

  43. Wishing you all the very best but remember no matter what you do people will complain and talk and talk bad about you.

  44. Just coming to see this now.i will really miss your column,I don't miss it for anything on Sundays.😭😭😭😭😭😭


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