Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, February 07, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmm......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LIFE AFTER THE DIVORCE


Good day All...

On the Chronicle of the woman who doesn't know how to return her bride price to her ex husband A lot of divorcees commented and they seemed happy.

Please I need a honest answer, how did you all move on?.

He betrayed and humiliated me, he was my first in everything, I met him while in my final year in school, I gave him my all because I thought he was the best and he made me feel like he couldn't live without me(I didn't know someone could actually pretend for four good years before tying the knot.

he changed just few months because I didn't conceive on time, he told me despite being a virgin, that those that aborted for him were already carrying baby no2, there was a lot of verbal, emotional and physiological abuse which I kept to myself until I was almost going crazy)

I gave him so much power that I couldn't do anything without his input.

It's four years already, he has even remarried although he didn't tell, he had always said he wasn't going to tell me anyway but I stumbled on it on Instagram. we have a child together, he is trying to be a good dad but I want to live again.. .......I AM TIRED.





You are yet to get over your ex husband after four years? why? what are you still thinking of him for? he is with someone else now!
I think you need to mix with people more ,go out more and please get yourself a boyfriend!.

49 comments:

  1. Chai this is painful o. That's why I do ask what do men want. This is too much o.all the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Original ShugarGirl7 February 2022 at 16:20

      Poster sorry for the unintended toxicity you exposed yourself to. Often times it is the ones that we trust who hurt us the most.

      Get rid of all the negativity and love yourself more than anyone else could possibly do if you want to LIVE again.

      You should be happy that someone so negative is out of your space.

      Virginity is precious but it doesn't make everything perfect in an perfect world.
      Let go of the hurt and walk into new chapters of your life.

      Delete
    2. The vulture is a patient bird

      Meaning?

      Evil intentioned creatures can wait especially after they have waited so long to pick apart and wreck a carcass

      Discernment only comes from GOD
      People are mean

      Delete
    3. Jet li isn't it amusing that the word men is gotten from the word MEaN? And the word EmbarrassMENt. Pity.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Sweetheart, there is this book "who moved my cheese" that was recommended for us while in training to help us in business decisions. I read it and was able to apply it in every aspect of my life especially relationships. And when i did, i gained a whole lot, was happier and had better self esteem. It teaches not to cry over spilt milk. I learned that unlike what I used to do, staying off dating for 2-3years in the name of healing, the true healing was imbedded in the moving on. After that, infact, 1full week became way too long to mourn a dead relationship before dating again even if for just the distraction and fun of it. Please check your friend-zone and pick one today and fuck the day light out of him. Yes, you heard me right. Pick one and enjoy some attention and sex(protected). They way you emphasized on your virginity...you sounded like me those days of foolishness. Why are we slaves to our virginity anyway? The way i see it today, virginity is purely your decision and really, you shouldn't feel entitled if others do not value your virginity that much. It doesn't guarantee nothing, not fertility, not love, not peaceful marriage, not security, even God favors and answers prayers from the cheapest prostitutes out there.

      Don't flog yourself too much. Just wake up and make up and show up. Give a guy a chance.

      Delete
    2. Poster, there's this book "who moved my cheese" we read in training school. It's to help us focused or recover quickly from business disappointments. I applied it to every aspect of my life and realised it was total waste those years I used to stay off dating for 2-3years to heal from a failed relationship. The easiest way to heal is in actually starting another one right away and not cry over spilt milk. Have a good friend-zone and pick one of them and gbensh this night! Yes, dress up and face your fears and stop being a victim. Go out and enjoy a man's attention for the fun of it. Go and have sex(protected). It is good for a woman's mental health and self esteem. Stop sabotaging yourself. Don't remain a slave to your virginity. It should be obvious to you now that it was so highly rated by only you, even your husband may have celebrated it at the time but he isn't a slave to it. Even God Himself still favours even the cheapest prostitute even if she does not pray nor acknowledge Him. That should tell you something, your virginity belongs to you alone and you have no entitlement because of it. I say this because I have been in these shoes b4. Your virginity guarantees nothing, not fertility, not happiness, not loyalty, not good health, not security, not marriage stability. Nothing.

      Delete
    3. Ms Saphire go soon take over from blackberry, awon immorality promoter, at least BB does not hide under calling God's name. Smh.

      Delete
    4. Ms Saphire, fear God ooo. How can you be using His name to justify sin, ahhh.

      Delete
  3. This case get as e be o.Abeg make you carry waka

    ReplyDelete
  4. Be focus and happy. There is nothing God can't do.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happens when you don't love yourself. Dude has moved on, stop feeling pathetic and go get laid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is not about loving oneself. Some people love with everything and unconditionally (loyalty is still a virtue). Unfortunately, they are the ones that get hurt really bad and take more time in the healing process.

      Delete
    2. Loyalty and commitment is not foolishness

      She only gave them to the undeserving and unworthy

      We all need DISCERNMENT that only the Holy Spirit can give, many deceivers out there



      Mathew 7:6 is very deep

      As a man or woman if your body, time , energy , attention (browsing, chatting rubbish pursuing Wetin no lost) has no or little value that is when you offer it to any and every random person

      Delete
    3. Blackberry I come here for your comments. Always straight to the point and it carries weight.(except for the sex part). Poster when you don’t love yourself, men and people will always take you for granted. Pick up the remaining self esteem you have and work seriously on yourself. You gave too much to the detriment of your health and emotions. A mere human flesh like you. And no you don’t need to have sex and compound more to your issues. Pray for God’s healing.

      Delete
    4. @15:47 aka low self esteem/ self worth. How can you love someone more than yourself??? To the detriment of your health and emotions? Ridiculous comment.

      Delete
    5. 04:11 where did the anon mention loving someone more than themself? Yours is the ridiculous one between the two.

      Delete
  6. "Get herself a boyfriend" like it is something purchased from a supermaket?

    ReplyDelete
  7. The main thing here is to forgive him. Yes, forgive him his sins just as God forgives yours. The moment you forgive him, you will move on.
    Besides, you don't take just everything those ladies wrote. A lot of them were merely pretending. Divorce is not what anyone do and just gets happy; all parties.
    Except one never loved the other.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Madam please four whole years is long enough.

    How are you still fixated on someone that treated you like trash? Someone that have moved on with someone and probably living his best life?

    Why are you doing this to yourself? He was your first everything so what? Please try and move on ok.

    Go on dates, give other guys a chance. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  9. For sanity sake please move on

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm about to have lunch, but because of the nature of your question, let me close my food and respond. Mine is four years as well and lets me tell you how I did it. I think first and foremost for me was that I had a very good support system. So, how is your support system? By this I mean, I had my family's support, in short, they were my rock. My friends too were amazing, they were understanding, they did not make me feel and have not made me feel any type of way about it. When I left, I began to socialize little by little, of course initially I was ashamed and locked myself in, even when no one stigmatized me, it was just psychological. I started with changing my Church to avoid the pressure from people who knew me, I began to go to church, which got me out of the house, plus the new faces were eager to be my friend without feeling like I was judged. I reached back out to my most trusted friends before I got married, those I knew were mature.

    I got a small job, that took care of boredom, and gave me more room to go out and not be locked in thinking of my failures. I just completed my M.Sc. program and I'm hunting for a better job.

    I did not let my experience hold me down, I have opened up my heart to love again and it's not been like I thought. I thought men would judge me, but rather my experience has been different from my fears, I have met men who understand and are even willing to date and possibly marry, but I am not yet in that space, till I can stand on my own.

    Now, I barely remember cos I have moved on. Please, be determined, ask God to help you, surround yourself with people who love u unconditionally. Cut off from any environment that will make you feel judged or like a failure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ
      Well said Tiana. Continue to stay strong .

      Delete
    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 laughing at ur first 21 worse in ur comment above.


      U have nailed it all sister

      Delete
    3. Poster, Tiana has said it all.

      Go give a guy a chance.

      Delete
  11. I totally get you. You entered marriage with so much optimism, dedicated your entire life to loving and committing to this man and he dashed your hope. He crushed you into pieces verbally, emotionally and psychologically and baby, that’s a lot.

    The reality is divorce is painful. I have lived it. You could get everything but the pain is still there and sometimes, when you are happy and loving your new life, the fear of going through that again can alter your mood almost immediately but there’s always light in the end of the tunnel.

    How do I know that..you might ask.
    You have to forgive yourself and heal. Stop basing your whole identity on marriage (that’s why it’s so hard for you to let go)..you are much more than that. If he refuses to be amicable or coparent then be the best parent you can for your son and get what is due to him through court.

    Finally, stop stalking his life and start living yours again. God bless you. πŸ’›



    ReplyDelete
  12. Just sign up on apps,be open and friendly too,I also have a child and I have more male friends and try dey shine your Congo too..you no go reason your ex sef

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that shining of Congo is very important oo, especially with a BVD

      Delete
    2. I thought I was baad. You girls are basest.πŸ˜‚

      True talk.

      Delete
  13. Poster you want to pay back? Hustle with all your strength and might, make money, take care of yourself, get back in shape and get your groove back, it's paining me that you are actually making him believe that you can't do without him, please show him you can. Succeed, forgive and forgive yourself also.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Stella said you should please get a boyfriend o. But please don't get a boyfriend that is someone else's husband o. I know how you divorced women can be bitter and angry looking for where to put head.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster you want to pay back? Hustle with all your strength and might, make money, take care of yourself, get back in shape and get your groove back, it's paining me that you are actually making him believe that you can't do without him, please show him you can. Succeed, forgive him and forgive yourself also.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I forgot to add, I forgave him, I even reached out and helped him, I think that helped me to a larger extent. I made excuses for him, I knew he acted the way he did cos he knew no better. Forgive your ex, it will help you feel lighter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster please forgive yourself and forgive him but please and please, I'm actually kneeling to beg, don't ever reach out to him.
      Take your time and heal. If he reaches out, fine but don't give the devil another chance to destroy you.

      Delete
    2. You wrote everything well until this part. You dey madddd tiana. Mtscheww.

      Delete
  17. Stop feeling guilty about the whole thing.
    If you are a Christian, get actively involve in church activities to keep yourself busy. Do this without getting too close to people, to avoid gossips.

    Start learning interesting skills online, skills you are sure that you will enjoy.

    Just get busy and keep being happy with your life.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster you need to find a good reason why you should get over this ex.
    Even if its for your mental wellbeing. Don't go asking yourself why he treated you the way he did, cos he did what he did and its over you are no longer in that place except you keep thinking about the past.
    You need to move on by force and I wouldn't say you do that by jumping into a relationship, noooo you just need to be fine, be happy about your present life, how you have been coping and the beautiful future ahead of you. Stay safe biko

    ReplyDelete
  19. All of you telling her to move on like she’s a car you think it’s easy for everyone? People are different. Poster if it takes you ten yrs to heal so be it. But I’ll advise you keep busy get a new man in your life by so doing moving on will happen. Just give it time and effort don’t rush anything. I wish you all the best πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster

      Allow yourself HEAL
      Talk to GOD , eat, pray, cry, grieve and mourn the betrayal and loss

      Delete
  20. Poster, start my forgiving him and challenging yourself.Mine is 8 years now. I am yet to remarry. I promised him that our future will determine who hurt who. My dear, I am doing very well with my daughter and he is????????? You can tell. I relocated, went back to school and got a job. I will tell you that my biggest fear is repeating the same mistake I did with him. I dated someone who lied the way he did and did everything my ex would do and this set me back a little in terms of trusting. Marriage is not my life. I am focusing on myself, my daughter and my career. I am open to finding love again. Please find ways to keep yourself busy and occupied. Please be happy. Love yourself first. Stop tracking him and move on. This life is too sweet to keep dwelling on your past. If you dwell so much on your past, you won't find time to prepare yourself for the future. My dear thr future is what you make it to be.Good luck as you heal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Figure out why you keep attracting this type of men and work on it. Stop trusting easily

      Delete
  21. I know it is but try to make yourself happy. Get a job and learn a skill then pray to God to let you take your mind off him. All is well.

    BV Temmy

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have a strong family support that's why I am still standing.its not easy dealing with a manipulative person.He still want me to give him my time and all sort of things. Thank you all,I really do appreciate.i will try and be the best of me before I land in a mental home.God bless you Stella and everyone.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's especially hard for you because he was your first everything. It's a gradual process, but time heals all wounds. It may leave a scar, but you'll heal if you let yourself, I promise.
    There's better out there. He's not the best man you'll ever know, you'll see.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I think part of the problem is that he was the cheater and the one who caused you the pain and he just goes on to remarry and have a new family. Your pain is valid, it is ok to feel sad, angry and miserable. But you also have to decide to get out of that state one day. I feel you sending in the chronicle shows that you are ready. Take baby steps, put your focus on you and your child. Start doing big thinking, start thinking the possibility that the most amazing thing in your wildest dreams is possible and then just say, God blow my mind.

    Start doing little things day by day that bring you joy. Could be as simple as buying yourself some flowers, planting a garden, learning a new skill that you have always wanted to try out, starting a healthy diet and exercise program, enrolling in a language course. Focus on adding value to your life. The energy that you are putting into him is stealing your time and depleting your light. Start plugging into you and charging up your own battery. Every thought of him charges up his battery, I wouldn't be surprised if he is flourishing professionally and economically too, because your thoughts are charging him up while you are getting depleted. So, you better start charging up yourself, because he isn't going to charge you up, he didn't when you were married and he sure as hell isn't going to do it now. Refocus and reclaim your existence and power on into abundance and glory. Yes, you CAN do it!!!

    ReplyDelete

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