Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, February 09, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm......










STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

TIPS ON HOW TO GET OVER HEART BREAK NEEDED



Good day SDK, 


My boyfriend of over 6 years just thought of breaking up with me due to compatibility issues. Although we had issues in between the relationship, I and my mum has been praying for God's will to be done.



 I noticed that he started finding excuses immediately I started disturbing him about when we are to settle down. Firstly, he came up with the excuse of how he knew my family officially just last year (2020) and that I should hold on. Secondly, that his step brother (his parents are late) and his step brother's pastor asked us to come to Oshogbo for a week prayer because of the future. 


When my mum heard this, she asked for the pastor's number and called him immediately to ask questions. Prior to this, my ex boyfriends step brother called my mum once late in the night before to say hello...( when they didn't believe that I'm always at my parent house anytime I'm in Ibadan, my ex told me that his step brother said I may be living with a man over there) I'm not wayward and I have never met the step brother so I don't know where that thought was coming from. 


I noticed they were not happy that my mum called the pastor to ask questions.


 Days after my mum made the call, she told me not to argue with my boyfriend (now ex) about going to Oshogbo or not because she noticed they already had problem with her calling the pastor at Oshogbo.


 We had a little arguments on January 3 night, he accused me of ending the call while he was still talking to me(which I didn't do, he was the one who ended the call or maybe it was network because I know didn't press the red button). The following morning he already sent voice note on WhatsApp. I replied angrily and told him that I was only pitying him because I know his step brother will soon call to request money for changing or repairing his vehicle ( the man is into transportation). Not long after, he called my mum and told her that "I want to report sososo to you and immediately I end this call, the relationship is over". My mum replied him with "I concur, God will choose for the both of you...I support that you both go on your own".


After his conversation with my mum, he called again trying to calm her down but mum said the relationship is over. My mum later told me that we are not compatible at all and she cannot just look on and that for him to call her( he doesn't report me to my mum directly, he always report to my step dad because my dad is late) means that is how God want it. I met him the following morning since I was in Lagos to attend to somethings. 


We discussed and he said that we can't get married, I'm sure it's because of what my mum said and he was already looking for excuses to boycott the relationship but was holding into me till he get someone who he wants.


I was trying to cope with these issues not until some days back, in the evening, when he sent a voice note on WhatsApp that one aunty Blessing ( he used to help her, he said she helped him when he had nothing) said that when we had issues in 2020 ( he cheated then) that when I was reporting him to the woman, that I said that he didn't go to school, that I told her that my mum said how can I marry someone who cannot read and write well( I never said all this) I just told her that my mum said, she cannot watch any of her daughter marry a wrong person or into a wrong home. 


This aunty Blessing lost her husband and my mum (even though she met her just once( that was when she came with my ex to my mum's house to beg when he cheated on me in 2020, that was the first time my ex met my family too) told her that her children can come live with us and she will enrol them in a private school till she is back on her feet ( she was about to start working somewhere at Ajah as a live in Nanny).


Writing this alone made me feel a bit better but for how long? I'm fed up, I had to rush to his house last night when another issue of me telling aunty Blessing that I said I will show him "shege" came up. I never said all this and even If I did( which I didn't) is it suppose to come up now that we are trying to break up peacefully.

 I called and called after listening to the voice note he sent but he didn't pick up. I was so worried thinking something was wrong with him...on getting there, he started shouting at me that what am I doing in his house at that time and what if he has a visitor and that I should never come to his house at that time again in which I told him there won't even be a next time (though I was worried , one of the reasons I was there was to pack the little things I have remaining in his house). My mum didn't know I was there anyway.


I noticed he is seeing someone else already, I'm not bothered though, I just want to move on. How can I forget him totally, the pain is too much for me to bear. I have deleted his number and that of those associated with him that I have on my lines and I promised myself that I won't call him at all. How can I fulfill this promise to myself and move on completely. I'm in pains...Pls help me, thanks.





*You are heart broken over this kind of man? it is obvious that he was looking for excuses to break up with you including using pastor and family members.....

Please do not visit or call him again and do not accept him back in case he comes begging or else you will send in more chronicles... Be happy that you are free to move on and hopefully a man who loves you will find you...

Remember that you are better off on your own than with someone like this who listens to hearsay and reacts like a child or who would go to this extent to initiate a break up....

65 comments:

  1. Too many issues, too many people involved in the relationship, reporting each other up and down, haba.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My conclusiones exactly! Reporting everywhere!! Sisi should just move on.

      Delete
    2. It's for the best. You both couldn't have lasted as married couples.
      Wahala too much.

      Delete
    3. Mehn, someone treating you like last months trash and you say you wantu get over him? Gosh, some of you are bereft of self love and pride. Totally bereft.

      Delete
    4. The Original ShugarGirl9 February 2022 at 17:25

      That your ex is turninoneown and you certainly don't want a marriage that will be turninoneown for the rest of your life.

      Please look out for a man that has sense at least not the idiot you described up there. You are going to be making him feel some worth that he obviously lacks.

      Aha you should be happy now. Stop indulging his foolishness. He doesn't want to be married now and that's fine. Don't you lose a wink over this type of Male. You too do not want to be tied to an idiot.

      Mature, evolve and learn to love yourself and live an independent life first before knowing the true value of marriage. Don't let peer pressure or age make you take decisions in a rush. Marriage is no child's play.

      Delete
    5. Sometimes it's better to remain single. Being in some relationships can destroy everything in you. Look at the disrespect to your family and you are not yet married. Some heart breaks are not worth it. Move on and focus on something better before you spend the rest of your life reporting yourselves.

      Delete
    6. Which one is "...totally bereft of self love and pride"! The way some of you act like women are machines or robots is amazing.
      You want her to pretend that everything is okay so that you can call her 'strong woman' or 'independent woman'?
      She spent 6 years in this relationship for God's sake, she is allowed to mourn!!! It doesn't make her less of a self-respecting woman than you are.

      My dear poster, you will be ok. It might take a long time but time heals wounds in my experience time and time again. Thank God it ended because it would have been an exhausting marriage. Reading this chronicle alone makes me feel exhausted and gives me a headache with all the third party involvement and reporting. Please pick a more mature man with a spine next time, this one is not it!

      Delete
    7. God will bless you Ada Bekee. If you have not experienced heartbreak you can type any rubbish and abuse others. I'm not the poster but calling her totally bereft of self love and pride just shows how cold the person who typed that comment is. See judgement on top of normal human failings and shortcomings. 🀦🏾‍♂️

      Delete
    8. This is how you young girls gets killed for rituals. Meeting a Pastor for prayers. When it is the time for you to get married, the counselling should be done by a pastor known to both of you. Concentrate on being financially independent. Get your head staright! The fact that you are a female does not mean you have to depend on a man. This issue of marriage is one of the factors of the decay of the Nigerian society. If you are getting this crap while still dating, imagine the situation when you are married. From what you've written, you know that this is a bad situation but no matter the advice, you are going to crawl back to him if he calls you just for the chance to tell your village people that you are married. Goodluck

      Delete
    9. Thank you Ada. The 1st thing I said after reading this was *they will nail her now like they all have their shit together*.

      This is one of the most original straight from heart chronicles I have read

      She's obviously in pains and will laugh over this with time.

      I remember the tears I cried for my moonlight that year. I thought I will die.

      Now when I think of him; I laugh so hard at myself. If you bring him now; I don't hate him but I cannot even manage him.

      Poster; you will be fine u hear?

      Delete
    10. Lolll, you lot will be fine.
      I've learnt Nigerian women absolutely deserve the men you get.

      Delete
    11. Stella please write on how women are coerced , blackmailed and indoctrinated into accept unworthy men

      The sayings , lies are mindboggling

      No husband
      Men are like okrika
      Manage him
      Men are like babies
      Etc

      Delete
  2. I have a breaking news for your heartbroken heart, rejoice and be glad for your relationship was dead on arrival. It was never meant to be. Dust yourself up and don't forget to give God thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like her mum no nonsense woman. A man that loves you will be the one begging to marry you.

      Delete
  3. Poster is not easy I tell you. Just leave it go God with time you be fine. Someone better will find and appreciate you

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nonsense man, lady know your worth, this kind man, God forbid, infact drop him like shit he is. Marriage with this one I'd dead on arrival

    ReplyDelete
  5. Please, this is not how to date or court abeg. It sounded like a local polygamous marriage... report to this person, say that... abegiii...

    Give yourself respect, only then would a man respect you. Imagine brother having a say in common relationship. Nawaoh. Pls totally ignore that man, even if he accuses you of increasing the dollar rate of Nigeria, dont reply or confront him. He is a closed chapter. Your mum is a very good mother for giving him that answer cos she means well for you. Never blame her for that. Your man will come.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe you just dodged an immature man,you are not married and he already had to bring someone to come beg your mom cos he cheated?sounds really off!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's obvious you guys are not compatible. That marriage can never work or be peaceful if it take place.

    You and your mum want you to marry by all means but your ex is not ready for marriage. Can't you see it or you are turning blind eye to the real fact?

    Let me be sincere with you, if you don't slow down with your desperation, you may end up in a wrong marriage. The last time I checked, being single was never a crime.

    Don't accept him back if he comes back because he get his own wahala for body. But it's obvious you are not letting him go any time soon. If he call you now, you will run back to him without thinking twice. Besides, judging from your chronicle, is clear he told you he isn't marrying you but you are forcing marriage down his throat.


    I don't know how many times I will say this, as a lady that agree to date a guy, bear two things in mind, break up(which probability is 80%) and marriage (which is 20% probability). He said he wanted to date you not marry you.

    But are you obsessed with the guy or marriage is not making you think straight?
    I'm sure whatever that is pushing you to him is definitely not love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella has nailed this one, first the signs were everywhere. You dated him for too long, never give a man 6 years in waiting over dating except with very good reason. See finish happened plus law of diminishing returns sets in. You are childish too and so was that ex of yours judging from the back and forth with your mother and his brother. That man made every effort to leave that relationship, but you did not catch up on time. The prophet say, bla bla said, was all in his plan to break up with you. Never take a man or woman who takes to confirmation from seers seriously, they are a joke and a confused bunch, and that is how to know them.

      To your question of how do you move on? There is no magic wand you can wave and just forget it all, cos of the time, energy, emotions, and resources that have gone into that relationship. The truth is cry and mourn it if you must, and give yourself time to heal. You have done well by blocking his numbers, and contacts on social media, unfollow any one that connects you to him. Stop talking too much while you are in a relationship (Aunt Blessing).

      Ask God to help you and please move on without expecting him to come back to you. Move on cos that man is tired of you, if you continue with him, he will only waste more of your time, but that man has no plans to marry you.

      Delete
    2. Sounding so hungrily desperate for marriage. When you enter na, na so so 'please hide my ID'.

      Delete
    3. I am not desperate for marriage at all, I just brought it up because we have been in the relationship for long and I want to know the future of the relationship. If I hadn't brought it up...he wouldn't have changed so much to the extent of showing me is worst side. Thanks for your advise anyway.

      Delete
    4. The Original ShugarGirl9 February 2022 at 17:51

      Anon 17:13 you're wukedd!😟

      Delete
    5. After reading what you wrote up there πŸ‘† i started having headache!

      Delete
  8. Give yourself time,you will get over him. If you marry this guy,babe you won't have peace in your home.Reporting,begging and not trusting you enough,I think you deserve better.

    ReplyDelete
  9. God will heal you.A broken relationship/engagement is better than a broken marriage.It is not easy but time will heal your wounds. However tempting,please do not continue the relationship.You and mom or anyone else should not stress anymore on the relationship,keep praying and be strong for yourself,poster know this.YOU DESERVE THE BEST.sorry for the pains.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It may not be easy for you, but please move on. Find things to distract you, with time, all these will be history.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey sis, let me tell you that the pain you feel will fade away after a week. Yes, i said a week.
    My ex broke up with me on the 1st of January, 2020 [ can you imagine heartbreak on New year's day gan gan]. We had almost this same issue [ fighting over irrelevant things and so many people trying to settle us]. I felt like my world would come crashing, my chest was constricting almost every minutes. But something i did was i surrounded myself with my family members and was active on social media. I even started making fun of myself every time i felt like crying.

    Needless to say, i started chatting with this fine young man, before we know we started dating o
    We got married last year April, 2021 and i bless God everyday that my ex left me. Some people are just not meant to be in your life.

    I started feeling as if i have problem/ anger issues when everyday na fight , argument. Since i met and married my husband, not a single explosive fight/argument. If we have an issue, we sit down and talk about it like adult and apologise to each other there and then. My younger brother even asked me ''You and your husband no dey fight''

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Original ShugarGirl9 February 2022 at 17:38

      Congratulations dear.
      No drama, no panic just mature minds.

      Delete
    2. Nice testimony Unknown.

      I am heartbroken myself atm. I have moved on but still feel pain. Your story gives hope.

      Delete
  12. U guys are not compatible at all but even so I know it still hurts. Don’t worry dear. It will hurt and with time it will get better. Just let him go. Cry if u feel like. One day U will wake up and realize u haven’t thought of him. And pls if he comes begging DO NOT take him back. He is childish and will never treat u right. He is not for u and is banking on the thought that u will always be at the side for him. Move on and get ur healing soon u can meet ur true man. Oh and I love ur mom. Good luck dear.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Desperation to get married is the reason there are lots of bad marriages out there. You are so desperate to get married that you are willing to ignore the red flags, even though you see them clearly.
    You want to get over him? Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons why he wouldn't have made a good husband. And be sure to go out and meet new people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Keep reminding yourself about the reasons he wouldn't have made a good husband". This is word!!! Remain blessed.

      Delete
  14. You really want to move on? Here is a man's list -

    1. Complete the blocking of all contact between you both, which you have started already.

    2. Apply the "He was not even my spec" balm - Deep down, you want to be married to a person with school education. The man did not attend school to the level you want. Clearly he is not your spec. From your story, the man even knows he is not your spec by his reaction to the school issue.

    3. Anytime regrets start to spring in your heart, tell yourself you did your best and you are leaving the rest for God to do HIS BEST for you.

    4. Spare some time to review the past years only for you to know your mistakes that you would not repeat.

    5. Make yourselve available to be loved and to love. Note that to be loved was deliberately placed first. When that starts, do not judge the man by the failures of the bygone man. Every man is different

    Best wishes

    ReplyDelete
  15. Madam please move on and dont force anything. You two are not compatible.. it shows in everything... Why build your life around a man who is not yet married to you? Why stay this long in the relationship when he has no plans for you. You have to know that your happiness and future is in your hands, you either move on or keep sulking about a man who has moved on. Next time learn to use your head in a relationship, try to know what a man wants before giving them your all and time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My mum, my mum and my mum. Aunty Blessing, Blessing and Blessing. Step brother, Stepping down brother, Stepping into the mud brother. What a relationship? You knew immediately he started complaining that the relationship was basically dead , but your desperation blocked your sense of reasoning. Please learn to take your mum out of your future relationships, dignify your mum at all times. Where do young ladies meet such insecure and immature men. In a society where there are millions of very decent, matured, respectful, honest and loyal young men, what's is the motivation for going for men who are not honest, indecent, not displicined and principled .

    ReplyDelete
  17. How can your mom be in the mix of your relationship, which was already crowded by BIL, SIL, MIL, "PASTOR?"
    The crowd in this relationship (or "situationship" as they say here) is too much and that is the lesson you take along.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Make Jesus your Lord and move on

    ReplyDelete
  19. 80% of the whole brouhaha is your fault and these are my reasons:

    1. How can you date a man for 6 whole years? How? Women, una no dey pity unasef? Haba! In my opinion, the longest a lady should be with a man without direction is six months; with direction, one year. After one year, if a man doesnt know what he wants from you, then he should bounce!

    By direction, I mean, knowing where the relationship is going. If you must know, the major cause of heartbreak is time wasted. Not even any other thing. So if he had met you at 40 years, this break up would have happened at 46 years? Hey God! You try ehn? Well-done.

    2. How old are you that you got your mum fully involved in your relationship? Is that how you were planning to live with the man? Any little thing, fiam, you tell ya mama. Ya mama carry fone begin make calls like customer care. Na wa oo. That was very wrong. All your mum should have being doing was praying for you and probably doing background check without anyone's knowledge, not confrontations. Believe me when I tell you that it pissed that man off. But he won't say it.

    3. Desperation is written all over this chronicle. Kai! "I must marry by fire by thunder. This year is my year. I must not cross 30 years. All my mates are married or getting married. Remain me". And all that bla bla bla I always hear from desperate women.

    Madam, men flee from desperate women. Take it to the bank and cash out Bitcoin. In my opinion, never ask a man what he wants from the relationship. It belittle you before him, unknown to you. If you feel you have waited enough, I suggest you act it out. Show signs of wanting out. He'll definitely ask you why. Then you tell him that time waits for no one. And as a lady, you are a flower that has season. If he really has marriage in mind, he'll do the needful. And if doesn't, fine! Move on!

    But trust me it won't get to this point if a man really wants you for keeps. We women always know who wants us but we always turn a blind eye and hope for a miracle that most times never happens.

    How you can heal:
    1. Block him everywhere so he can never reach you. And so that you will stop running kitikata any time he reaches out with his silliness.

    2. Occupy yourself with other things.

    3. Cry it out. Don't bottle it up. Crying heals.

    4. If you like, find someone who never knew about the relationship that you can trust and talk it out. Talking heals. Especially with a neutral person not involved.

    5. Give it time you'll heal. Time heals wounds. Read books on relationship and read the Bible.

    Please don't go into any relationship until you heal. To avoid repetition of events. Pray for your next relationship for guidance from God.

    The Lord be with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome back sweetheart. Missed your comments here. Undiluted and straight to the point, no nonsense comments. Comments that will wake pesin brain up instantly. Blessings to youπŸ’•poster read jechix comment over and over and let it stick to you skull very well so you don’t make another stupid and ridiculous mistake by reconnecting to him again. Na wa for some of you women I swear. A whole 6 years?!?!? Ahhh

      Delete
    2. Thanks Shooter hun. How you dey?

      Delete
    3. I'm very well, thanks! Glad you doing okay 😘😘😘

      Delete
    4. Thanks anon darling and Apple dear. You all are welcome.

      Delete
    5. Who knows maybe they were dating from primary school, beczuse8the poster sounds like a teenager.

      Delete
  20. Just see him as a time waster and move on...! Too much interference will definitely ruin a good thing. Learn to handle your relationship yourself next time.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's well o and try to move on.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Infact your story is so irritating. Let me just believe that you are in your late teens or early 20s because what in desperation name is this. Sister have some self respect puhleeeeze.
    So you rushed to his house because he said Aunty Bleasing said you will show him shege blah blah blah, this is after you broke up o, so why us he still sending you messages?
    You say you want to pack your things and it is night you went to pack them? The light at night is better to see where you hang pant and brakonyo before abi? Sisi who are you decieving???
    Better grow up and get a grip a grip on yourself, let your body calm down when you see man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's actually not the way you see it.

      Delete
    2. Hahaha 🀣 I love love your comment! It’s how we see it o poster. You wrote the chronicle now didn’t you? Your DESPERATION loud gan ni. Please work on your self esteem and regain your self respect back and dignity. If that man calls you back, give him a piece of your mind, yell at him self if you have to and tell him to never ever call you again. Then block him off and end this chapter. Heal before getting into another relationship. And please meet new people, go out, change your closet, exercise, lift weight and look good for yourself. It is well with you.

      Delete
    3. It is well poster. Don't worry with time you will get over everything. Just try to maintain the no contact thing you have started. πŸ€—

      Delete
  23. Your Mum is the MVP here honestly, a true mother.

    ReplyDelete
  24. What is not easy to move on with someone who already moved on? Anyways not everyone must move.

    You better delete his number, never visit his house cos that guy doesn't deserve you. Some persons that are not educated are so troublesome. Little things they capitalise on it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love your mum....Baby girl, never forget that you are the price and any man that truly wants you will not give you stress. Also, when someone shows that they don't want to be in a relationship anymore LET THEM GO!!!! Immediately. He lacks respect for you and your family which is a very bad sign. Try to focus on yourself and your spiritual life. One thing I have discovered is that when you fellowship with the Holy spirit your emotional health improves, it might be difficult but it helps strongly.

    Another thing, please don't be desperate for marriage. That is the worst thing you can do. Just enjoy your own company and improve your prayer life. It's funny how we find things when we are not looking for them...Never come to a relationship desperate.

    Peace, Love and Light.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi poster, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I truly am and just imagine I'm hugging you right now. Just give yourself time. You will be fine I promise. You will wake up one day and see you don't care anymore. Only thing u can tell you is to develop yourself. Focus on being the best you can be and let your own man find you. Someone of your caliber my darling. Let this one go. His wahala is already too much sef.
    Kisses

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear poster. I am happy for you. THANK GOD that you have broken off from that relationship. Yes you will feel pain, you are supposed to. It's just likened to a fresh wound, no matter how small it is, it will be painful. But what happens later? The pain keeps reducing and the stops, the wound heals with time and at the end, the only memory of it might be a little scar or even no scar at all.

    Same is a broken relationship. It was six years dear, you won't forget on a hurry, trust me. Please cry, weep and grief all you want, then wipe your tears, hold your head up high and move on.

    Go to events and programs that will make you happy, hangout with friends, go for concerts and after a while allow love again when you have healed.

    Don't stress it dear, such is life. You will be fine πŸ˜˜πŸ€—πŸ€—

    DON'T FORGET TO PRAY AND BREAK EVERY SOUL TIE (knowingly and unknowingly) WITH HIM SO THAT YOU CAN EASILY MOVE ON.

    Cheers dear.

    ReplyDelete

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