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Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Boredom Eliminating Post...

 

74 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Sadly for many of us our fathers are our first abusers and they set the standard for our relationships with the opposite sex.

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  2. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, I was pretty young.. this dude ehn .

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  3. Yeah. Once. He tried to strangle me. I picked up my bag, and left. That was the end of that relatiioship.

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  4. Yes I have.
    Thank God for the strength and courage to leave when I had to.

    I'm a survivor.
    #selflove#

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  5. Yes, I was abused emotionally.
    If you are going through something like that, it’s better you get out of it ASAP.

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    1. You are right slutty, I think this is the worst type of abuse in a relationship. It hurts so bad

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  6. Yes, Emotional abusive relationship but never physical before. One that gave me a slap, calling it a joke slap, after a while i slap him too calling it a joke slap. And that settle the matter

    Emotional abusive relationship ? At a point i started questioning my insanity, i started lieing a lot just to please him, till today i think that guy might have used something, my self worth was gone.. I started praying to God and it worked, then i turned around and gave it back to him exactly how he dish it out to me. Guy had very low self esteem, very rich, but hides when he sees people, i kid you not, only have poor friend, attend poor churches, he can't be where people are richer than him except his work place. He worked in an oil and gas company.. At a point i think he had a very mild mental issues

    I ran and i still cringe everytime i remember i had something with that guy, like i feel ashamed i could let someone ridicule me like that. When i left him, honestly my mentality about life changed... Very long story , that i can write a book with it. Thank God i left

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  7. I've been in an emotional relationship. It was crazy.

    He's never wrong and hardly forgives but in the eyes of his friends and family, he's never like that, na me be the issue. I walked, Japa level. I no fit shout abeg.

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    1. Never wrong?. He is manipulative then. Congratulations for leaving

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  8. I was the abuser..lesson learnt, now I'm compassionate at least to a large extent.

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    1. Finally, a woman owned up. Not everyone will accept they are the abuser.

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    2. I like your honesty ๐Ÿค—

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    3. Thank God for opening your eyes.

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  9. No, was only in one relationship and I am married to this amazing man that Jesus gave to me.
    Thank you Jesus.

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  10. Yes and I would never wish it on my worst enemy

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    1. Yours doesn't come as a surprise na. Remember how mouthed you were back then?with that type of mouth, getting whooped is inevitable.nor be all of us get self control

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    2. Yes anon, justify domestic abuse because I’m the one involved. Anu mpama

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    3. Anon 20:09. Be calming down.

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  11. Yes,by ex hubby...emotional,verbal and psychological abuse.i am sure,if I had stayed longer it could denegerate to physical...it's being six years and I still can't open my heart to anyman...a very traumatic experience.

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    1. You need to move on completely and allow wonderful people in. Dont starve yourself of a good man because of your past experience.

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    2. ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

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    3. Why are you still leaving in the past?. You are God's original copy. Nothing should cage you. Let go of the past and open your heart. You deserve to be loved. Allow that man find you and spoil you with the love of God.

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    4. Thanks everyone,Finding it hard to sleep tonight because everything that happened keep playing in my head.i guess I will skip this type of topic next time.whenever,I talk about what happened...the past will just open.All the conversations,abuses....Nawa for me oooooooooooo.

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  12. Yes I was the abuser in the relationship then. I took advantage of his calm and quiet nature. It wasn't physical but emotional abuse, when things didn't go my way then I'd throw tantrums and the rest but not until the day he changed it for me. I couldn't believe, I thought he was joking but for where he made up his mind.
    All that is in the past now because I am changed now.
    Kwabena if you ever come across this is me still saying I am sorry ❤️ Chichi

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    1. Good you are changed. I wish you could tell us why you did it.

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    2. Na wetin happen to Kora be this

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    3. Thank God for opening your eyes. One thing with patient and quiet people is that when your cup fulls with them. Forget it you will not believe there reactions

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    4. Chichi sounds manipulative
      I wouldn't call it abusev

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  13. I've never been in any abusive relationship.

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  14. Yes o... i was so young and Naive he is still very much single and asking me to marry him but i can't

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    1. Most of us had our silly moments of * true love * lmao thank God for deliverance .

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    2. The same thing with my abuser. I was young, timid and naive and this guy abused me for 3 years. What I went through toughened me up and till today I know what I can never take in a relationship. It shocked him when I eventually found the courage to walk out of the relationship.

      Begged till he could beg no more, threatened to kill me, I bet he would have if SUG President had not gotten involved.

      Came back like a fool later to keep begging but he didn’t know I was wiser and stronger

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  16. Yea, met a handsome guy in my 200L. I told him I don't want a relationship but rather friendship until I'm ready for marriage. He said he doesn't keep friends with women and he will be back in my 400L since I said that's when I'll be ready for a relationship. I kept him in my mind. He's so handsome and had a great job. 2 years later he called and I was so elated. I started a relationship with him. But he rarely calls on phone. I was practically dying for him and wanted that relationship where you talk everyday. I was new to the dating scene and never knew a man can appear serious, keep your phone number for years, even pay you a surprise valentine day visit in school with no gifts and yet not be emotionally available. He never tells me he loves me, doesn't call me on phone and doesn't give me money the few times he visited me in school all the way from Lagos. I'll just sit by my phone every evening waiting for his call and he will never call but if I call he will sound so cheerful and happy that I called. After I graduated from the University, he invited me to visit him in Lagos. I accepted but getting him to send me transport fare was another wahala. It was just like he was stringing me along. Finally sent 10k for transport. I made my nails and a beautiful hair, told a lie to my family about my travel and off to Lagos I went only to realise that he didn't plan anything for my visit. No food in his house and no plans to take me to fun places. I was so disappointed. When I complained about the lack of food, he prepared rice and a tasteless tomato and egg stew, no meat yet he drove an expensive jeep and lived in a 3 bedroom flat in Lekki. The sex as usual was just a 2 minutes nonsense. So after that what next? He will be showing me pictures on his laptop and be bragging about being odogwu. Then I checked his phone and saw so many girls all over him. Little wonder he behaved that way. I was naive and never understood that women are usually desperate for marriage especially to someone like him. From what I understood from his chats, I was even lucky to have him ask me out as ladies he wasn't dating were practically throwing themselves at him. He later hinted to me that a man will choose the lady that is most 'serious'. Seriousness as I deduced from his context meant losing my self esteem, doing the constant calling and showing excess love for him when I wasn't getting any from him. When he went to the kitchen and I stepped close to him by the gas cooker, he violently pushed me back and said it's like I want to catch fire and then I'll come and hold him. No romance at all and I realised such a person wouldn't give me respect if we eventually got married. I ended the relationship after I tricked him into buying an expensive phone for me. He called a year later and was telling me to visit him and that he will pay for my flight. I declined and moved on. He was just emotionally absent but I've realised that most men are emotionally unavailable but women don't really catch on it early. They just want a docile low self esteem woman that will cook, clean and give them kids while tolerating their bullshit. I never knew how much marriage mattered to women until I observed two of my good friends get married out of desperation too. Sometimes I wonder, maybe I should have tolerated him to be married too. I knew it would have worked out if I doted on him the way he wanted. It's really a man's world. But what about me?

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    Replies
    1. It's God's world. God made them male and female so it's also your world. Put a big tag on yourself and you will be amazed how the next man will respect and want you desperately in his life. Forget what your friends did or what people are saying. Tell yourself what you want. Nothing less.

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  17. Yea
    I was naive
    He wanted me cos of virginity
    He asked me if i was a virgin
    I told him NO dat i av a guy before n it was only one guy i had ever slept with
    According to him he was okay with dat afterall i was nt sleeping around
    The love relationship was going on well, he started discussing marriage with me et al until he made love with me
    N he was mad after dat i lied to him dat it was once my ex slept with me
    I tell am.say na one person slept with me i swear with my whole life and what have you, him no believe me
    This made him nt to trust me to d extent i started telling lies not ordinary lies o but big ones and also lying on myself for wetin i no do in order to satisfy him.
    Omg! D relationship was all based on my virginity dis virginty dat๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต
    I bcame a shadow of myself
    One day i called myself and talked to myself where i go hear word well well.
    I called him one day and told him i kno dey do relationship again
    He was shocked i could say dat cos i was like a zombie in d relationship
    After leaving the relationship i got my groove baq big time, i just dey shine. Freedom sweet fa
    Few months later he started begging me dat he wanted to come baq
    God forbid, bye bye to virgin looker
    I left myself for some years to gather my secondary virginity
    Wen i met my boyfriend now my hubby
    The first thing i told him was I NO BE VIRGIN O
    He laff me and tell me say him too no b virgin say na love b main thing oo

    Ps: I am relieved as i said dis today
    I am so happy later cos i didnt lost d virginity to him
    Cos he bragged wit d number of girls he deflowered. Na achievement to him fa
    I later learnt he married a wild girl
    I also saw d pics of his wedding on his fb wall

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    Replies
    1. That your ex eh, God forbid

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  18. Yes oo. Maybe that was why l carried that slap for head like gala.

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  19. Yes.. dude was emotionally,physically and verbally abusive. He is a narcissist too,I remember when I use to lie to cover up my bruises. Wear sun shades to avoid people seeing my black eye.. funny enough,he's married now,the wife praises him on social media like egg of life.. and I wonder do people change overnight?

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    1. Yes people change. Maybe he learnt his lessons and decided to be a good husband. Move on. You will be happy you did

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    2. No people don’t change overnight and just because his wife is praising him on social media doesn’t make him a good husband. People lie on social media all the time.

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  20. Never been in any of the above. In the early stage of any relationship, if I notice any sign of abuse, I flee.
    Married now to a man who tries once in a while to bring me down after years of marriage telling me I know nothing bla bla because I am more educated than him, I shut him up each time. I tell him I'm ok, I'm good, I know my worth, I am intelligent, smart , etc. He tells me a person who praises himself or blows his own trumpet is a fool, I tell him I will blow my own trumpet because I know my worth. I don't give room for him or anyone to bring me down or make me feel worthless at all. I carry myself with pride and grace. I will never allow anyone to abuse me emotionally or physically. If he dare tries to go physical on me tomorrow, bye bye to the marriage. No be by force abeg. I let him know that too.

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    1. That is the spirit๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹

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  21. Yes.
    Emotionally and physically
    Number one malice keeper,most times he will seat me down and tell me to go ask my mom how to treat a man,telling me I’m not beautiful,His sisters are better than me,and they are all married,so I should calm down so he can marry me.Number one cheat,and liar.he was a manipulator.Always cheating on me and never wanted me to complain,made me cut off from all my friends,suspected everyone I talked to or even greeted as my lover.
    The day he beat me up I thought that was d end of me cos none of my family members knew where I went.He took a bottle and threatened to kill me and kill himself.
    After I survived that beating that day,I ran for my life.That I came out alive was a miracle.
    My self esteem was gone,I couldn’t talk or even do anything with boldness cos I thought I wasn’t good enough.
    Thank God for giving me the courage to leave,cos he never thought I could leave the relationship.He kept saying small me of yesterday wants to leave him.ThankGod for freedom.

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    1. Wow imagine asking someone to calm down so that you can marry her. Is he Dangote first son?.
      Thank God for opening your eyes.

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    2. Hmmm you no get brothers or what. Which kind rubbish be that?

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    3. That’s what they feel. They feel because they started dating u when u were naive that u will never grow and discover u are more than the stupid relationship. Useless men! Gosh! I loathe that guy

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    4. Sorry love

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  22. I was verbally abusive to my man but he’s really changing me. That guy is truly a leader. I could marry him every day and twice on Sundays๐Ÿ˜€

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    1. I'm glad you're becoming a better person ๐Ÿ˜Œ ๐Ÿ’• ๐Ÿ’›

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  23. Yes ooo I have,it was emotional and physical,thank God its all in the past.

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  24. My Ex abused me emotionally due to his low self esteem, he doesn't believe me, I moved on when I could no longer stand him...

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  25. Yes emotional abuse in marriage that I thought I was insane. Thank God for the boldness to walk away. In a better place with my sanity intact.

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  26. I have never been in one before. But I have learnt a lot from the comment section, may God mend everyone that has gone through one abuse or the other.

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