AFFECTED BY OFFICE GOSSIP
Good day everyone......
Bvs, how do I handle gossips about being a single mother at my place of work?.
Note, I never disclosed this to anyone, they went extra mile to dig about me, now it's "as beautiful as she is, she's not with her husband anymore, she's just intelligent, every thing about her is fake".
I got to know all these from one of them but i have not confronted anyone. Its a govt job not a private company, please how do I handle this?.
First off.... What is the intention of the person that came to tell you? what did you say when you were being told? This is exactly what that BV Richie Rich did. Be careful of people who come to tell you what others say about you cos whatever you say will also be taken to them and the situation might just get worse....
Is there a need for confrontation? Remember you have to mention your source of info? Do you really believe they would say such? what if the person who told you made it up? And also went back to say what you did not say?
Hmmm, i really dont know what to advice you but please be careful so that the work environment is not more poisoned than it already is.......
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NARRTIVE TWO
Hmmm, i really dont know what to advice you but please be careful so that the work environment is not more poisoned than it already is.......
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NARRTIVE TWO
CONFUSED
My heart is heavy. I am just sad and also confused. I've lived with this woman since I was 12 and now I'm 23.
My heart is heavy. I am just sad and also confused. I've lived with this woman since I was 12 and now I'm 23.
She has a saloon which I helped her run, infact customers prefer me to anyone. I know every every about her business. Her daughter that is almost same age with me doesn't even stay in the shop, she's even in another city right now doing nothing.
Now the thing is her close friend recommended me to her younger brother and we're talking marriage. Since the news broke that I'm getting married, this woman is now a shadow of herself. she has been in and out of the hospital like 5times.
The other day she collapsed while walking on the road. My hubby came to tell her that we would be going to the village to collect the marriage list, since that day she has been admitted in the hospital. She has been crying that she doesn't know how she will cope without me. Now I'm confused whether to cancel the plan.
I just don't know what to do.
Cancel which plan? Are you OK? Let her faint as many times as she likes, she will be fine, you are not a slave and you are about to start your own life, she is supposed to be happy and not fainting up and down.....
At what age does she want to release you? when you are old and withered or what? if your telling her of the plans is affecting her then stop for now abeg....
This is broad day witch craft oh.....
lol
@Poster1,no just mind dem
ReplyDelete@Poster2,no dull ya self o
Its the many nagativities that comes with single motherhood that make it a very bad idea. There is NOTHING woke or glamorous about it. It speaks volume about you and questions your ability to make good decisions. If you are at a point were you are considering it as an option, please think again and be sure you can handle all the insecurities and inferiority complex that will definitely come with it. Don't be surprise if this gossip is just in her head or she could even have blowing it out of proportion in her head.
DeletePoster 2: I think she is over reacting, although some people can be over emotional about changes and "good byes". Assure her of your love and keep her very involved in this marriage process and preparations so she wont feel sidelined. Don't mind many that will come here to poison and put wicked ideas and suspicion in your head. Just make sure your love for her is pure and pray for her, thanking God for having blessed you through her all these years. Trust God that has brought you this far to be able to complete His blessing which adds no sorrows.
Thank you Ms Sapphire. You've said it all. Poster 2, in addition to what sapphire said, get someone that can replace you in the salon when you finally move to your hubby's place. Teach her all what you know, how to work and respect her madam. Your madam will be fine. She's highly attached to you, hence all these emotional display.
DeleteI laughed hard after Poster 2 chronicles.
DeleteAnon 16:29, You finished the matter of Poster 2. Very sound and fair minded advice you gave.
Poster 2 should just tell the Madam to look for another person and that she is ready to teach that person very well as you adviced.
My mind tells me there is more in the matter beyond the industry of Poster 2. But no need to speculate. Let me go on to read other peoples comments.
Poster 2, Happy Married Life in advance.
Saphire, and the next anonymous, you are both wise.
DeleteIt’s just over attachment and nothing else.
Poster, don’t build negativity over a woman who has spoken so well about you to her close friend, to the extent that the lady saw potentials in you as a future inlaw. The woman is a good person
Saphire u try. Always good to close legs like mermaid because the women bear it all. Learn not to listen to those office gossips, if you don't want any depression.
DeleteJust pray for her but don't cancel your wedding.
Poster 1. Please ignore them and face your job. They will get tired at some point and even try to be your friend.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Cancel what kini? are you thinking right at all? Continue with your marriage plan, she will be ok with time. Dont do something you will regret in the future.
Madam go ahead ahbeg and marry ur hubby biko
ReplyDelete😂 😂 😂
DeletePoster 2,that woman is not serious. What is fainting because you are about to become married? 🤷♀️
She should smell the coffee and wish you well.
If it was her daughter that got hooked up, will she now die.
Better face your future.
I can see u were not maltreated by her in any way. Just go ahead and get married but pls, try and calm her down, be nice and petful with ur words, but don't allow her countenance make u change ur mind
ReplyDeleteYou are a single mum,so?
ReplyDeleteIf you were married before and it didn’t work, do the expect you to kill your self?
Pay no attention to those gossips. If they crazy enough to come to you with it, make sure you drag them and put them where they belong.
There is nothing to be ashamed of.
One thing that’s for sure is that most of these gossips are always beneath you and their lives are trash.
Avoid them by all means and except it’s work related, do not be their friend.
Poster 2, better go ahead and get married. Assure her that you’ll not abandon her.
Don't cancel your plan o,will she do the same if you were her daughter?That is the outcome of using other people's children to pamper yours. Why can't her own daughter stay and also help in managing the business?Come out of slavery
ReplyDeleteLol 😆 🤣 @broad day witchcraft. Go ahead and get married. She'll be fine.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, don't make any confrontations. Pretend like you heard nothing and live your life. Better a living divorcee than a dead or unhappy married woman.
Chai Stella I love your red note to the 2md poster. Hilarious but true.
ReplyDeleteIn 2022, some says you are a single mother, n it bothers you? like this single mommahood is global mehn... it's like calling kendall Jenner a single mother n expect it to pain her, come on babe, come on! there's nothing to handle.
ReplyDeleteLol.. You are not a single mother so you won't understand
DeletePoster 1, just keep ignoring them. But try and be above average in the job, ur life etc. Na dem go later love u pass. Cheers sis
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - Ignore the noise or set the record straight and keep it moving. What’s wrong with them finding out that you are a single mother? Control your narrative and face your work.
ReplyDeleteCancel which plans.. she is a broad daylight witch if you can't see it now I don't know when you will.
ReplyDeleteIt is only a witch that will behave the way she is acting.
You are evil, vile and toxic. So you can't see that it's because the woman is highly attached to the lady? Because Stella said witch, you must follow suit...
DeletePoster 1: Please don't confront anyone. Ignore them and occupy yourself with your job and other things you love. Ignore them and have peace of mind.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Try and shield her from some details so as to help her condition. I think she depended too heavily on you, and now she is feeling her business will crash without you. Maybe you should also agree to be coming around to help her from time to time if you are in the same city - she will love this.
Please if she was good to you, also be good to her.
Poster 1:please press ignore button,don't let their words get to you,be proud of who you are and don't allow your status define you.
ReplyDeleteAlso don't entertain any gossip,she is just trying to get info from you,ignore in a polite manner and stay in your lane lane peacefully.
Poster 2: don't cancel your marriage plan,and please reduce your wedding plan discussion with her.Ire o
Poster 2 - it’s easy to see that you really care for this woman but sweetie, this is manipulation at its finest. She might not have a bad motive cept for wanting you around for her business to keep flourishing but she’s doing you wrong. She doesn’t care about you moving on to greater things. Stop telling her every of your plans that might trigger her “sicknesses”.
ReplyDeleteBe discreet yet plain
Be kind yet firm
💛
Poster 1:People will always talk,ignore them and focus on your work,keep things official and don't entertain anyone coming to tell you anything.
ReplyDeletePoster 2;please go ahead and get married,don't allow anyone to emotionally arm twist to miss out on your destiny.You have paid your dues by serving her all thy these years,it's time to MOVE ON!!
Poster 1, it's not everything you have to react to or be sad about. You divorced, you didn't steal or kill anyone so don't let that petty gossip get to you. Also be careful of the person telling you these stories.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. You are not serious. Cancel which plan? As Stella said, stop telling her your plans and go get married.
Posterno1,face front jare and don't allow them get to you.
ReplyDeletePosterno2,go on ahead and don't get stuck joor
wait like seriously? how do you habdle the gossip? what is your busisness with anybody? na sem employ you? has anyone come to insult you with it or quarell about it? so why go looking for trouble where non exist? as for the bearer of the amebo what was her intention? my dear face the work that pays you please...
ReplyDeleteposter 2, what was the doctor's diagnosis of the illness abeg...lol...if she is not acting then ask her to get someone you can start putting through. just assure her she will be fine. Do not stop your wedding plans pls. so far it is not a forced marriage and you are entering willingly then why stop cos someone else cannot control their emotions? you might be her golden goose but your own life has to go on. how long will you serve her? dont fall for emotional blackmail oh
Poster1: Just ignore them abeg, you are at single mum so what? Stop feeling bad about it, if they see you don't send them they will talk about something else.
ReplyDeletePoster2: Keep some info to yourself, that woman doesn't wish you well, if you were her daughter will she be fainting anyhow mtcheew awon abatenije
- So what you're intelligent and no longer with your husband? As in, what's anyone's business if you're beautiful or ugly gan? Ain't you all there to work? You should not entertain people that bring other people's business to you. It's all the same if you sit and listen to it. You shouldn't even sit and give them the light of day. What kinda of buffoonery is that? If you want to avoid listening to gossips, then stay away from gossips. If anyone has the nerve to tell you whatever anyone has said behind you, you should have the nerve to ask "Why are you telling me this?" "Did you stand up for me when she/he told you? Or are you telling me to go and fight for myself?". There are some questions that you'll ask that will make that person never come to you with gossip ever again. That's why I keep my circle extra small. I can't stand, 'she say or he say'. If that makes me less of a 'typical' woman, abegi! 🤨🤨🤨
ReplyDelete- I'm sure you don't plan to work for her for the rest of your life. What nonsense sha! She better be ready to add high BP since she is not thinking of your future. Can't she use all that energy and get someone else? I know someone who was very worried about her stylist relocating because of marriage. Today, she's got more stylists and business is booming. So, that woman should stop being overly dramatic. And her daughter's lifestyle is not your business. You should face your hubby and your new found family, forget about this woman for real and hope for the best. We've not finished living this life. It's not impossible for you to find yourself at this woman's mercy tomorrow. So always leave workplaces on a friendly and cordial note.🤔
Hahahahahaha the second post is really funny, poster are you going to be buried with her. You will surely move on someday and that day has come, don't be too bordered cos she will cope.
ReplyDeletePoster one please don't mind them, very soon the whole gossip will fade, focus on yourself and job. You are too big to be moved by petty gossip.
Some of you will leave the jobs you are doing and start digging for personal info outside the office space about your colleagues! Witches and wizards! Thats office harrasment too! See poster keep calm. Do not confront. Its year 2022! They can go hug transformer if they have issues with your status. Let them keep talking. It's at your back where they will forever be.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, it's like you don't want self progress. She will be alright. You have done what you can. It's time to put you first now.
Do not listen to everything people say before you hear your servants cursing you (Eccl. 7:21)
ReplyDeleteRead your Bible people; there are all the answers you seek about life.
Very true.
DeleteI don't understand some women. How do you take someone's daughter to serve you and you don't every think about her having a future and settling in her own home?
ReplyDeletePlease any person that is opposed to marriage FOR NO JUST REASON is working for the devil. 😮😮
poster 2 don't cancel your wedding, she will definitely be fine and come to terms with it. i have been living with my sis for some years now and im getting married next month and relocating to abuja after the wedding and im not happy cos im gonna miss her and the kids so much and always thinking of how they would cope without me but i need to move on with my life
ReplyDeletePoster 1 I forgot to add, that person telling you what was said about you, cut that person loose. Sometimes they are also snakes, they bring you report of what your enemy is saying and return back to them with info on your reaction. Sometimes their telling you is not for good, but to damage your self esteem and watch you crawl into a hole.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lie, frds tell frds things they heard about them
DeletePoster 2, happy married life.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, keep them guessing about you. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your life.. Is their life perfect? Neither is yours. Do. Your work and keep your lips sealed. That lady who came to tell you about the gossip is fishing for Infor. Do not befriend or reveal about you. She will stop asking. And you can be cordial but not friends.
All the best.
We live in a world where people see single mum's trying to make the best out of life. They say they r being "woke". You see the another single mum depressed you laugh " is it because of a man you want to kill yourself", you see a woman dying in a marriage you tell her to save her life. She leaves the marriage and starts making it, the same people mock her for living glamourously. Is it only married women that God gave this earth to enjoy. Is this not witch craft to enjoy mocking people?
ReplyDeletePoster two...
ReplyDeleteThat women is not a witch..do not let BVS Trash talk someone that has been nice to you..she is just emotionally attached to you
I noticed that most BVs here do not have a mind of their own, they are saying she's a witch only because Stella thinks so...
After my first degree, I went back home...when I got admission for my second degree outside Nigeria, My mum had same reaction (asides the fainting)...her BP began to rise .e.t.c..and she is the one footing my tuition fee o....when I wanted to for-go the admission because of her health, she refused....we are so close, we have a maid but I do almost everything for her in a way that the maid cannot....
What your guardian is doing isn't intentional...it is just a reflection of her thoughts...she has been wondering how she'll cope without you..
Assure her of your love.
Poster 1....in this time and age...you still feel bad if someone calls you a single mother....I don't get ooo ..
You dey even hide your daughter? SMH.
Thank you ma'am Stella for posting,I'm poster 2. Thank you bvs for your advices. I'm just feeling sorry for her now her BP has risen and she's back on taking medication.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,
DeleteIt possible that your benefactor has real health challenge and that its break out is just coincedental with your leaving to marry. You guys should not only see it as a matter of her being worried.
Poster 1, In this world you can never stop people from talking so you have no control over how anyone chooses to use their mouth. However, the best way to deal with this is not to hide it. If it comes up state plainly that you are a single parent and mother to a daughter who you absolutely love and adore and the best decision you ever made in your life was to give birth to her. Once ppl know you are unbothered by your single parenthood status and you love your child what can they do? They may get bothered because they weren't able to ruffle your feathers or make you feel bad about yourself, but that's all. Always claim your child and never let anyone let you feel ashamed for being a parent. There is no shame in being a parent, NONE.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, change is hard for some people, especially if they have not properly prepared for it. But change is something that always has to happen or we remain stagnant in life, and stagnancy breeds its own problems. Sit your guardian/mentor down and have a good heart to heart with her. Just explain that being married does not mean she will no longer be a part of your life, she will still and always be a part of your life just ina different way. Encourage her to take care of herself, eat well and to not get stressed out because you need her to stay alive. Do not cancel your marriage plans if this is truly what you want for yourself. You should have your own experiences and the ability to make a life and family of your own. All the best to you on your new journeys.
Anon 15:58 tell poster 1 me am a proud single mum, I'll be the first to tell you, I thank God for my lovely kids,
Delete@Anonymous 16:56, Honestly you said my mind o,why hiding you status in the first place, that gives them the ground for the gossip. Am a single mother of a beautiful daughter and its being 8 years, no one as ever shame me with that probably because i pride on it OR am not aware sha, if we ve reasons to have a good discussion that lasted for 2hrs i can assure you will know of my daughter, right here on my table in my office is my daughter picture. its part of my introduction. my name is ......and am single with a beautiful daughter. work hard of my myself and my girl and we doing pretty well.
DeleteHeifer @ poster 1, you wrote this post in to validate the fake rumour you shared at the PRIVATE establishment you work at. Is your plan to show it around and pretend it was sent by the person you ignorantly lied on? Plain sloppy and disrespectful.
ReplyDeletePost Stella, I know the person.
Hello First Poster, I used to be ashamed to say I was separated...I dont know if Shane is the word but I didnt what anyone to know...But sometime last year I decided to own my story...I say I'm a single mother to a wonderful son with my full chest...It doesnt bother me at all...Please own your story...You are a single mother and its nothing to be ashamed of..Be strong mama❤
ReplyDeletePoster 1. So you are worried about gossips?
ReplyDeleteYou have been referred to the Bible above. Well, maybe you are not a Christain.
So, hear from the street -
There is gossip in families, especially polygamous families and amongst extended family members.
There is gossip in private work places even if the employer is very strict against it.
Gossip in government offices? Please do MOST government workers do anything else? (All due apologies and credit to the effective workers in government offices).
There is gossip in tenants-occupied compunds.
There is small-medium Estates gossip.
There is street gossip.
If you were not gossipped on your motherhood status, you will still be gossipped for the way you save your salary to better your child's live and yours.
Poster 1, Completely ignore their nonesense.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, everything is not witchcraft. I don't know why people on this blog are fascinated with witches. What's all this ? The woman will miss you so much that's why.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteAre you a single mother? Yes.
Does it stop your progress in any way? No.
When you are at the top, you become a TOPic. That is who you are, at the Top.
Walk tall, and ignore. Smile at them but be wise. Now you know what they think about you. Even bring up the topic when the need arises. Above all keep being exceptional because you must be, which is why they are talking about you.
XOXO 🤗🤗🤗 hugs from here.