Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Sunday, March 20, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

 Hmmm.....








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
FUNNY BEHAVIOUR


I am Igbo and he is from Kogi. Two of us are working almost same salary scale. We are talking marriage but he has not engaged me yet.

 I have met some of his people. He has many siblings because his dad married 3 wives. 


Last weekend he asked me to follow him to visit his male cousin that had an  accident. When we got to the guest house. His wife came and welcomed us and went inside. 


Few minutes later she brought portage beans for me and told my boyfriend that she is coming. 10 minutes later, she brought fried potatoes and egg and served my guy. 

The husband went and brought two bottles of coke for us. I am not a beans person so l took just two spoons and left it. Told them l can't take coke because I react to coke and beans combination.


 My guy balanced well and ate his food. We got ready to go and the husband called the wife to inform her. I thanked her for the food. Asked for the spice she used for the beans and she told me. I asked for the beans spice to make her feel nice.

 We left. 

On our way l told my guy l am angry and felt insulted. He asked why. I was like. ..... Are you saying you did not notice anything? A woman l have not met before gave me beans and went inside to prepare potatoes and fried eggs for you. Let's assume she does not have enough potatoes or egg in the house for two. It is better she did not give me anything than insulting me with a watery dry beans.


 Na the matter we still dey settle. He has begged on her behalf but l still felt there is more to her actions. No I don't look cheap or ugly. I feel the woman does not like me.





* You dont need to look cheap or ugly for her to like or dislike you.. Change that mindset. She probably meant no harm, please do not take this too serious or blow it out of proportion.... Next time say you are not hungry, abi nah Food carry you go there?

91 comments:

  1. Na wa. U like drama sha. I have heard that beans is even more expensive than rice and eggs and bread so you should be grateful you were offered the more expensive platter .

    Learn to pick your battles wisely in marriage .......whether it be with this guy, tribe or any other.

    You could have eaten the beans and drank water without all this fuss and that you both earn similar wages doesnt make you equals.

    Bv Sylvia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster you tried
      First time coming to your house you served me beans or a different meal from the person that brought me there.
      I will join my fiancee to eat his own no matter how little the food is..

      Delete
    2. @sylvia, can you take that? That was a wrong behavior deal with it. Why beans of all foods?

      Delete
    3. @ poster your concerns are valid. Next time you visit the woman just take a drink. If I were you I won't touch the beans.

      If I don't have food in the house I will tell my guests what I have, if they are happy with what I have, good if not, give a drink. Why would you fry potato and egg for 1 and give the other beans? She does not have sense at all.

      Delete
  2. Do not read unnecessary meaning into this.. Like you insinuated, maybe there was not enough potatoes and egg and that might just be your man's favorite meal too. At least she would have given you the meal she gave to your man, at least that would have been more understandable as she was meeting you for the first time. Since your man has apologizes, forgive and forget.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t understand. You’re blaming your boyfriend for something out of his power?

      Delete
  3. Madam you for no chop the beans at all. Una for merge the whole food chop them together sef. Omo, what do I know??

    Karen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmm are they Igala?? My dear, pack your slippers o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is Igala

      Delete
    2. I almost asked d same question oh @ Anony 15:08
      Igalas have this culture dat is outdated fa
      I mean seeing men as superior and yhe as third class citizens
      Their men get yeye pride fa

      Delete
    3. With this fa. You for says our men

      Delete
  5. The reason why she served you guys two different food is what I don't understand.poster abeg no vex she might mean no harm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First time hearing of such.......

      Delete
  6. You want to use your hands to create trouble where there's none, she won't give you shishi in the first place if she doesn't like you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loveofkidjo'slife20 March 2022 at 21:50

      Sweetheart stop jor. Reason dis tin nah, which kain parole be dat? 2 visitors arrived same time, served different meals, aside exaggeration one looking inferior to the other. Make we try dey use empathy o. I would feel one kain too if na me nah

      Delete
  7. If l were the woman. I will have prepared same thing for both of you no matter how small especially when l am meeting you for the first time. Let it slide and move on with your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kinda confused here. Why will she serve you guys differently, that I don't get. To me the best thing she should have done is to serve you the potato and egg while she gives the guy just coke or the best. Or on the other hand, serving just coke to the both of you would been better, my opinion though

    ReplyDelete
  9. If na me o, I no go chop. Watz dat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even me beans be like poison for my eye

      Delete
    2. The Original ShugarGirl20 March 2022 at 18:41

      E be like juju, bad vibes. I no go chow. Kpata kpata I go request make she package am.

      Delete
  10. Them never marry you like this and you wan come dey cause problems where there is none.
    Some people these days don't even offer people food rather they will offer drinks before people like you will say they don't know how to cook,or they prefer my boyfriend to me.
    The woman did her best and you're here talking nonsense.
    Your boyfriend is even begging you,you better accept the begging because you're the chairlady of petty and taking things too far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Talking nonsense for sending a chronicle. Your kind makes marriage a do or die affair. When had it become a problem to seek advice on something you don't understand.

      Delete
    2. Sorry of i struck a wrong cord in you.
      Marriage is not and will never be a do or die affair to me.

      If you truly want to stay happy in any relationship be it by dating, marriage or just being friends with people, never take things too seriously.
      From your write up,i don't even think you will forgive anyone who doesn't greet you.
      P.S. I'M A WOMAN and your thinking is bad. CHANGE IT.

      Delete
  11. But who serve a visitor beans please...People easily react to beans and it very wrong to serve them that... I won't even take one spoon, cos toilet will be calling me

    Please i notice something, the beans i cook can never purge me, as in never, even if another person cooks the same way i do, like the same, i will be uncomfortable for 3 days... No matter how careless i am with mine. Never

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jokes apart it's bad to serve a visitor beans except the person requests for it

      Delete
    2. How do you even serve people beans??? Beans???? That people either react to or just dont like or do not eat outside their homes????
      Better check o weather dem tell dem say you are from a hungry family or do you just look poor and razz?
      It's not by force to serve people food o, I think every understand life these days. And who serves coke with beans and fried eggs???

      Delete
  12. wahala for different cultural bagrand o

    ReplyDelete
  13. Beans and coke combo you for sleep for shalanga

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣no be lie if na Fanta nko orange and beans niyen 🤣🤣

      Delete
    2. And who told you fanta is made with orange? Sugar and orange flavour is what you people are drinking. No difference between it and coke

      Delete
  14. Poster,just forget it and move on..

    Not everyone likes eating beans..

    As for me I don't eat beans anyhow because of purging.

    Just accept your boyfriends apology and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. They gave you ewa shishion 🤣🤣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao!! No be small ewa shishion

      Delete
    2. You should have asked for cup and just drink it since it's watery

      Delete
    3. Loveofkidjo'slife20 March 2022 at 21:52

      Or straw! Lol

      Delete
  16. Atimes we worry over inconsequential things that doesn't hold any water.... Judging from this remark of yours Baayi, you go be troublesome person..

    Please try to change that attitude of yours and Stop reading meaning into things you could control and avert.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I disagree with you Biko,,you are actually the troublesome person here. What the woman did is very wrong,oya talk true now, can you serve your guest beans? Not to talk of serving them different foods? Mrs goodie two shoes😃

      Delete
    2. I disagree with you Biko,,you are actually the troublesome person here. What the woman did is very wrong,oya talk true now, can you serve your guest beans? Not to talk of serving them different foods? Mrs goodie two shoes😃

      Delete
    3. Thank you @unknown. Troublesome for sending chronicle and seeking advice. Who serves a visitor beans and serve the other a better option?. I don't know them. They are seeing me for the first time.

      Delete
  17. She no like you.
    Just ignore her completely.
    Who serves beans to visitors 😶except on request

    ReplyDelete
  18. Beans don't agree with a lot of people. Why would she serve your beans? I don't think you are overreacting. You are right to be irate especially as you don't know her motives behind serving your beans.

    She should have asked you to choose between beans porridge or chips and egg. The fact that your boyfriend saw nothing wrong with that shows he is not a very observant person.

    If I accompany someone somewhere and we are served different meals, especially when I didn't specifically request for it, I am not touching it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. At least people are seeing reasons with me. You need to see the beans. It's not compulsory to give a visitor food

      Delete
    2. Poster,I'm only angry with you because you tasted the beans,next time just tell her you are okay,she doesn't rate you at all.

      Delete
  19. She's not a troublemaker. Beans is not one delicacy we serve to first time visitors. Many people have tummy problems when they eat beans. The woman action for me is suspicious,like wanting to test the lady's attitude.
    Let's be real its not nice. How many of you did ur motherinlaw welcome for d first time with beans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish Stella will stop using his red pen. Most BVs tend to follow Stella advice. Who serves a stranger beans.

      Delete
  20. She probably wanted to serve you first so that you will not tell she ignored you and attended to her brother in law

    Look at it from that side, you for even tell her say you no like beans

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster you are not over reacting, who gives visitor beans. Biko look at how his other relatives act. If you observe anything strange, biko free him, before you will say you saw the signs

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very silly and senseless individual. Why didn't you reject the food ? Possibly your boyfriend told them he doesn't like beans long before he met you I guess if you were both served beans, there won't be grounds for your childish complaint. How can somebody who is meeting you for the first time have reasons to hate/ dislike you. Your anger should be directed at your boyfriend who refused to share his eggs and potatoes with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See insult upon my own chronicle. Be calming down. Advice.. not insult

      Delete
    2. Loveofkidjo'slife20 March 2022 at 21:59

      Alexander you're incredibly uncouth. Your highly unwarranted insults expose you as a bitter person.

      Delete
    3. Its obvious age does not bequeath common sense.@21:59 just ignore, that's what we all do.

      Delete
  23. I think she was caught between trying to please her brother-in-law and pleasing his guest.Treating your in-laws specially is kinda a big deal for most kogites especially if he 'hol' for hand' lols.Maybe she didn't realise you were more than just his friend. Overall its not a big deal besides my dear if matters like this start bothering you now then you better get a bullet proof vest as you go visiting other in-laws and the wedding/marriage generally.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The first time I went to visit my husband's Aunt in Ibadan,we were planning to get married then,I was served beans,I was surprised too why beans? She is very wealthy,i would have said maybe she doesn'thave anything at home,but when they came to my house,they were served pounded yam with juice lol,it one of those things sha,it seems some people don't know that beans is not so pleasant for entertaining guest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't eat beans outside,I will rather drink water

      Delete
    2. Your husband's Aunt in Ibadan? They must be Yoruba. Beans and bread is a yummy delicacy for Yorubas. I stand corrected.

      Delete
  25. poster you are lucky you were offered something to eat, the guy that was asking for my hand in marriage went to visit the mother I was not given anything even water. me I blocked him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No be like beans haba

      Delete
    2. The first time I met my husband's parents, I was not given anything, not even water. Lol
      Met his Aunt too, I was not offered anything, not even water, I wanted to call off the engagement, but... anyways, we went ahead to get married.

      Delete
  26. Serving a couple different things is very disrespectful.
    What she is basically saying is you're not his wife and she can serve you whatever and you won't complain.

    Everyone saying the poster should not say anything will not tolerate it if given same.

    Stop the pretense and say it as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Poster you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Your man had been begging you yet you are still upset. Let it slide jor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loveofkidjo'slife20 March 2022 at 22:02

      I agree she should accept the apology and move on, but I absolutely disagree with your opening statement. Let's be using small small empathy nah .

      Delete
  28. Babe, you like drama o🙄. How many times would we advise us to be "authentic" with in-laws from the beginning? The same you that is now disturbing you boyfriend over the issue was the same person asking the lady for the name of the spice she used for the food you only took two spoons of. Do you think she's a fool? She too has penned you down as an eye-service person after that visit.

    You could have easily told her with a sweet smile: "no please ma'am, my system reacts to beans sometimes. Just water is fine. Thank you very much." She probably would have then suggested the fried potatoes and eggs or coke. Stop complicating issues with your mixed signal to please in-laws. Let them know you for who you are from the start.

    Today, I totally agree with Stella's red pen💯. People like who they like irrespective of looks or social/financial status. Even if you donate your kidney to someone who doesn't like you, na charity you do and they'd probably go back to default settings after they're discharged from hospital. Just love yourself first. Every other person's like and love will be jaara (extra). Send us blog IV for your wedding o😘

    ReplyDelete
  29. Some cultures respect and pay more attention to men and the woman might have displayed that. Since ur boyfriend has begged you people should move ahead

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EVERY culture.
      Nigeria is a disgustingly shitty place where woman are treated like dogs. Meanwhile the so called men are NOTHING to write about. Disgusting,wretched, repressive, barbaric, culture.
      Thank God I escaped.

      Delete
  30. I don’t understand why she served you both two different kind of food almost same time. If I was the one I will say I am not hungry and take the Coca-Cola home or drink it instead of the beans.

    Since the drama has happened just let it be cos no need looking for issues where there is non. Anytime she comes to your house serve she and her husband same food to teach her how to treat people.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This poster is a troublesome person. The person you went to see is not your suitors father/mother or even sibling.

    Yet, you are causing trouble with your guy because of issues caused by a distant relative.

    The guy apologised on his relatives behalf. That means this guy is a good man who saw that you were indeed wronged by his relative (even though you had to tell him - we men don't take notice of things like this).

    To be honest, the guy needs to be wary of you and also refuse to marry you. If it were me, I would not even with your entitlement mentality.

    Carrying respect on head like gala.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Refuse to marry her because of a plate of beans. Abeg go and finish your homework, let adults discuss.

      Delete
  32. Stupid people everywhere beans is not food or is not good ,why will your boyfriend even beg you?you have anger problem and if you don't deal with it kogi people are hard either igala or igbira ,you don't enter combo ,better humble yourself.What is in a food ,why not tell her you are not hungry

    ReplyDelete
  33. And what concern us that you were on the same salary scale ? Was that why she gave you beans and him eggs,you need deliverance from anger ,igala or igbira people na anger personify

    ReplyDelete
  34. Why will anyone serve a visitor beans tho. I can never sha. My beans wey no ever gree sweet sef.

    Dunno if u are overreacting but yea, it's quite weird serving both of u different meals and giving u the weird one. I can't eat beans in a random person's house sha

    ReplyDelete
  35. How is it weird to serve beans to a visitor? Is it not what you have that you will offer a guest? Growing up in my house, a visitor was served whatever food that's available, if the availble food is not enough to go round then the "visitor visitor" is served first then we look for something else to serve the other person. In your case the beans was readily available and she served you first, you being the main visitor before fixing something else for your guy who was not really a visitor. She probably didnt think potatoes and eggs is superior to beans, I also dont think so too.

    You could have politely declined the "dry and watery beans" but you accepted it and even did eye service by asking for recipe. Now you're fighting the poor guy even after he apologised. What do you want him to do? Go and fight the woman? Take it easy aunty.


    miss Aboki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She had to do eye service because she wanted to be accepted. But taking it out on her man was so unwarranted. She should have kept her cool.

      Why accept to eat the food you don't like on a normal day. There are some foods some people for whatever reasons don't eat outside. So it is acceptable to politely decline what you don't like.

      Delete
    2. This is such a good and real life instance perspective. Poster how about because either peace and giving a second chance,you just take this comment.

      Delete
  36. Why will u even serve beans to ur visitor? Not everyone eats beans,for some people they don’t like it,for some others it causes stomach upset,some have ulcer they can’t eat beans,for someone like me I can’t eat beans prepared by another person.So many reasons why,...it’s not by force to serve a visitor food,sometimes snacks will do, or even fried meat and drinks,or even nice biscuits and drinks.Why serve them both different meals? If I were u I won’t even touch the food, call me whatever u like I’ll never even look at the food twice.U could have just politely told her you don’t eat beans as soon as she brought it,’sorry I don’t eat beans,it upsets my tummy’’ short and simple....Ur guy should have even spoken up for you,or give his food to you.
    Well, since he has apologized don’t let it cause issues between u both.Next time just learn to speak up when u are not pleased with anything.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Guests should never be served two completely different meals unless there is a known allergy and accommodations are being made. I cannot get into the specifics of the actually meals served, but it is a valid question to ask why two ppl who travelled together and arrived at the same time were served two completely different meals, especially considering their visit was to check in on an ill relative of one of the visitors. Yes, something is off. Does it warrant ruining your relationship over? No. But it does deserve looking into and I do not think you are wrong for wondering why.

    Some ppl above mentioned a culture of unequal treatment between genders for ppl in that culture. You will have to decide if you can handle the demands of that culture since you have now experienced this.

    ReplyDelete
  38. You want to marry the man you went on the visit with. So the man is the person you are going to live with daily in marriage. He has been apologetic and begging you on the "village conduct" of his cousin's wife. But you are still on the matter. The offense was not by your man's Mother, or step mothers, or any of his siblings. Yet you vex long like this? If you marry this man and he offends you nko? Naim be say he go beg for 1 year?

    Look, no matter the sweetness of your love now, offenses arise in all marriages. Your long vexing power shows you are not yet ready for the marriage or you both have not yet settled the values that will guide the expected marriage. Culture clashes and surprises are ever present in Inter-tribal marriages. So, quickly start settling your marriage values with the man or go buy vex containers. If your prospective husband is close to his sibling from all mothers in his father's house, buy more containers and increase your vexing power because you are likely to see more reasons to vex. Trust me on this. Just dont ask me how I know.

    Em, why does your post read as if you are condesending? Your mention of earning same salary with your man, your beauty and your not looking cheap appears at first glance as completely out of place in a post about the hosting intelligence of your man's counsin's wife. But your mentioning them gives an insight into your relationship with your man. It potrays you feel you are doing the man a favour. This might be why you do not want to let go of an offense he did not committ.

    Please go look for a man from your tribe. His family (your in-laws) are likely to have same world view as yours. While at it, ensure he earns three to five times than you. No time to explain why here. But let me try. Most women take their husband's salary as theirs. They look for same amount from their husbands for their needs, another equal amount for wants, and another equal or more amount for the family. The man needs to keep equal or more amount as his. It is when a man is able to do those he is treated by most women as being in the same financial class as his wife. This is why your man's salary and work level were worthy of mention in this post though TOTALLY unrelated to the food matter.

    No, I am not Igala. I am Niger-Deltan.

    Abeg no vex o. My people say truth is always worty of being told. When I seek advice, I seek those who tell me the blunt truth though bitter hear.

    Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Poster a simple " no thanks ,I'm not hungry" would have solved this .

    ReplyDelete
  40. Poster, you’ll be a wahala person in marriage. You even had to send in chronicle because of this??? Your bf don beg you yet you still brought it on Stella’s blog. BOyfriend, hope you’re reading this and know what you’re getting yourself into because marriage itself has its own stress. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Probably they had a leftover bean. And as a guest, she will be served first while their brother wait.
    Poster could have said that she doesn't like beans instead of making a mountain out of a molehill. You ate the beans (yes,
    even if a spoon), asked for its species and the spices she made it with to make feel good.

    You acted like a pretender.

    This is one of the reasons I don't just serve any visitor food anyhow. If we have variety of already prepared food, I will inform guest(s) and ask the them to choose. If we have one or two that cannot serve all guests, I let each choose what to eat.

    I hate dramas. I hate when my good intentions are misconstrued as evil.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Dear poster you aren't welcomed in that family.it wasn't right for her to serve both of you different meals.or did she at any point seek both of you consent before serving the meals???.

    ReplyDelete

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