Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, April 03, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm...









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIRED AND EXHAUSTED WIFE





Good day ma'am Stella. 

 My husband has been a bone on my neck. 


I have been the one footing the family 70% bills since we got married. 10 yrs into the marriage he abandoned it to me. 

My husband got a job last year but stopped working saying that the job was too stressful for him and the pay too poor. All appeal from friends and family for him to manage pending when new opportunity comes up didn't yield any results.


 I have 3 kids and pay school fees and all , BVs I am extremely tired and exhausted. I have developed high BP and other health issues.


My mum is tired of assisting with bills.

He is an Orphan and an only child as well, please advise an exhausted sister.


God bless you.





*You let him sit down lazy for 10 years without doing anything but make you fall pregnant? 10 years of  footing the bills in a household of 5? He is not even responsible as a father?

Please stop giving him food!

55 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Poster, just take him as your 4th child. How you lot spread legs for these hungry lazy entitled lots baffles me.
      3 children? 3? In this economy, on one salary. Oshey. Superwoman. I celebrate you. Kwentinue.

      Delete
  2. Lets assume this is what it is since we cant hear his part of the story. First, you aided his laziness maam. If you continue to feed him and do his responsibility for him, he wont make an effort to change. Now you have to make one more effort to convince him to get a job, if he refuse for whatever reason, lie to him that your salary was slashed by over half, reduce how much you give support, dont pay the rent and bills, withhold the children's fee for a little while and see how he reacts to getting a job. If he still doesn't change cut every support.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me this is the best advice so far. Lie to him about your salary. Withdraw from some responsibilities in the house and watch him wake up. Please don't come and kill yourself.

      Delete
    2. The funniest thing is this lazy goat will still be shouting 'I am head of house ' 'I am head of house'. Hrad of his nyansh.

      Delete
  3. No real man who claims to love his wife and kids will be comfortable and allow his wife to foot all the bills.
    His manliness, values and principles will not permit to condone such.

    It's time to have a one-on-one talk with your hubby and bare your mind completely. Start from there and see how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Twins
      Any little thing you will be shouting "real man, real man"
      My husband is unemployed and my income (our money) is what foots 100% of our bills.
      I do not consider him less of a man. Cut out this empty presumed and assumed mantra.

      Delete
    2. madam abeg shift. if your husband is'nt doing anything to assist you financially but entirely leaves it to you, he no do well. A man that cannot provide for his home is worst than an infidel

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:32 you’re delusional

      Delete
    4. Anon. 15:32. Your response shows you are not happy. That is not how God made it. You are not suppose to carry πŸ’― responsibility as a wife except your husband is bedridden. Check your BP please

      Delete
    5. Continue footing 100% of the bills, you hear?
      That doesn't make it right!
      Are his hands 100% broken???

      Delete
    6. 15:32 A real man will not leave his responsibility 100%for his wife,he has to find away around it.Tueh too many lazy and shameless men out there..love your husband's but know when to apply wisdom.

      Delete
  4. My mother realized her mistake and sepreated from my dad at old age which she wishes she had done earlier, already, the situation made her a bitter,uptight woman who feels all men are the same.
    na now momsi they loosen up.

    Do you want my mom's kind of journey?

    If yes, continue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now what do you mean, you want her to divorce him, na wow for una and divorce for this Stella's blog oo.

      Delete
    2. I'm telling you @last born. If you follow advise from people here, you will enter ocean. It's always easy to give advise we can't practice our selves

      Delete
    3. I was discussn similar topic with someone today. I have a friend who grew up in a similar home as dis posters marriage. D mother footed all the bills,while d man cld never hold on to a job,using ministry as excuse. He insisted all d kids go to expensive schools,they lived a good life all on the womans neck. She was doing well but the pressure was damn much on her. And he controlled all their finances. Like she worked and handed her salary to him He wld use christian doctrine to confuse her. She wasnt even allowed to drive the car she bought. He took her to work daily.
      Saw her few yrs ago and she was a shadow of herself,heard she suffered a mental breakdown.
      Anyway after 30smthn years they are now divorced. The woman is suffering mental health issues but finally got the courage to leave the man.

      Delete
  5. Stop feeding the lazy Man..

    Arrant Nonsense!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know the part that makes me most upset? This man got a job and said the salary was too small! But that small salary would have still supported this woman and eased just maybe a little little burden off her! This whole Chronicle is wrong!

      Delete
    2. he's very wrong on giving up on a job that brings no matter how little to ameliorate his family's condition. A man that does not provide for his household is worse than an infidel

      Delete
  6. Hnmmmm. How can he say the work is stressful for him when he knows there are bills to pay? He has become so comfortable allowing you do almost everything. This is not right at all, please talk to him abeg!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam you enabled laziness in a foolish man

      There is a line that you do not cross in the name of help especially if it isn't because they can't but that they wont

      Delete
  7. The Original ShugarGirl3 April 2022 at 15:11

    Macho Woman... no woman was created to live like this. That weight is made for the man to carry. It is his pride to provide and protect his own family. Now you are exhausted and you suddenly want that lazy man to pick up his responsibility?

    You will have to do something drastic to achieve that and he won't still change over night.

    I know a woman who is financially responsible for her family from husband to children, every every.
    But with the way the children have no regard for their father proves that it's still not a woman's place to shoulder this responsibility a 100%. God forbid seeing a full bodied man being trampled upon by his own seeds. It hurts badly.

    Be a supportive wife, Yes.
    But to be this one that you are is not goals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly, when people leave the Bible blueprint for living, there's usually a repercussion. A man that does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel. you cannot outsmart your creator.

      Delete
    2. Thank you. If you carry too much load as a woman, You will not function effectively in your women capacity. I don't envy marriages where women carry even 50% of family responsibilities. I refer 70/30 or 80/20. God please na help meet l be. The women l know who carry more financial loads in marriages are always bitter or look older than their age.

      Delete
    3. WOMEN YOU ARE HELP MATE

      NOT TEAM LEAD !

      Lean on me no mean say press me die !

      All of you supporting agbako , agbano men

      Nobody will hail your misguided and low self esteem driven attempts to form voltron

      Delete
    4. @17:58, when a single gives marital advice. You guys just leave the issue on the table to pontificate. Instead of giving the poster advice on how to handle her BP first and how to reason with her husband, you make wide sweeping assertions beyond your knowledge.

      A wife should bear only 20% of family responsibilities. Not even 50%.

      So if a wife is a high earner, her family should live the life only the husband's income can afford. What is that kind of belief? Is it wickedness or witchcraft. This is why some high income women are always looking for, and some/most times in vain, for higher income earning husbands.

      Delete
  8. If you die of Bp issues today, you think he won't survive?

    Better pedal back and put your health first, before u start cutting down own other things... Especially the amount of freebies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam Don wear weary shoes. This man isn't interested to contribute for the home. Manage him next 10 yrs and I pray you live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your labor in good health.

      Delete
  9. Na really stop giving him food

    ReplyDelete
  10. Na you cause am. You showed him you could handle it all..
    No matter how huge your salary is, man is head of the home, always.
    No matter how stressful and poor the pay is, he should have managed it. No real man would leave it all for his wife, none.
    If he can’t man his home, he is useless.
    You made him very comfortable to the extent he is not ready to do anything.
    Well, you’ve been doing it and if you stop now, it will cause plenty trouble.
    Start saving for the rainy days so that you’d have enough back up for later.
    You are already tired and exhausted and it’s going to get worse. Just prepare Incase you decide to leave the marriage.
    Can never settle for an irresponsible and lazy man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get prepared

      The lazy man will get manipulative and mean to resist be pushed out of his comfort zone

      Stress indeed
      What an oxygen theif

      Delete
    2. So what exactly is this man bringing to the table for 10 years?
      He can't take care of the home.
      He can't cook.
      He doesn't do kids homework, doesn't do school runs.
      Doesn't pay school fees.
      Doesn't pay rent.
      Doesn't pay household bill's.
      Doesn't pay for feeding, medicals, miscellaneous etc.
      Na sperm donor be that na.
      Una wey marry lazy spouses, male or female, una dey try aswear.

      Delete
  11. I think I already read this chronicle or maybe something like this. Anyway,like Stella said, don't give him food, both in the kitchen and in the bedroom. Just take good care of yourself and your children. Let him get up from his lazy ass and start doing something if he wants to eat.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This life is not complicated, it is humans that make it so. My husband and I save together. We both have salary accounts in our respective names and a common "family account." We know how much each is to contribute immediately the salaries are paid and we've kept to it. Nobody goes there. The bills are set automatically to be paid from both salaries. He retired some years ago and his emoluments had been withheld. So you understand how it is only through my end that income comes; meaning more pressure. But we are good. We pray together and work towards getting his emoluments.
    Reading your story, I think there are deep seated issues in your marriage that transcends beyond pay and bills. I suggest that you both should settle those issues first and then the one about wages and bills will resolve themselves. Good wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. He is an INFIDEL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who says so.

      Una dey gree when male and female pastors refer to the same source to cite what wives should do and how to treat their husbands in marriages?

      Na only this passage you guys are quick to remember concerning marriage.

      Delete
  14. This man has been enabled long enough! Give yourself rest so you will not die early and leave your kids! I bet he doesn't even help with anything else in the house. You get to play financial provider and still play a home maker. Wake tf up! He has to choose to be a present husband. Let him know this is a new year. You will not play this charade anymore. Its either in or out. No in between. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 🀣🀣🀣🀣at stop giving him food.

    I don't know where una dey see these kind men.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Na you spoil the man jare

    ReplyDelete
  17. Where una dey meet these kind men; Biko tell me so I can permanently block the website

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha 🀣 serious blocking ni o. What a chronicle kai

      Delete
    2. The Original ShugarGirl3 April 2022 at 21:29

      πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒ

      Block it oo

      Delete
    3. Lmao they are plenty in circulation o. It's just that they know how to sense their prey and avoid those who cannot fall for their nonsense.

      Delete
    4. If you are desperate, you will find them.
      Or rather...they will find you.

      Delete
  18. Please don't start what you cannot finish. Most women are carried away by the ephoria of marriage that they start acting like god to the man. You want to prove to.him that you are a good wife. You go to market and buy things needed in the house without asking for his assistance. You dash him money even when he did not ask. He does not give you and you don't complain. He will get use to it and relax then your eyes will clear. You are the WIFE except when situation happens maybe loss of job or sickness. Stop playing the role of husband.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "If a man will not work, he shall not eat".

    ReplyDelete
  20. You guys stop with the nonsense where do u find those men
    You think they start off like that
    Rubbish
    Sorry Madam
    Sit him down for a good conversation and let him know what you think from your heart

    ReplyDelete
  21. The quality of food and comfort should go down severely in situations like these. I bet you are still cooking big meals and serving him the largest portion of meat while you the one working eat the lesser. I bet he has access to wifi, African magic, electricity, and all the comforts to enjoy while he is home. Your focus of comfort should be yourself and the children.

    Unfortunately, if he grew up in an orphanage or a family home where he was neglected he may not have learned how to become a responsible man. He could also be suffering from depression, ptsd or some other mental illness which keeps him from becoming engaged in life fully. Please have him submitted for psychiatric evaluation. His matter is bigger than friends and family, and I believe you are in something that you are not equipped to handle. Are you sure he married you with the intention of being an equal partner or simply he was looking for a mother figure or nurturer? As sad as these questions are you will have to face them. Your husband's motivation for marrying you may be very different from what you think. Since you are already tired I do not know how much energy you have to spare to get to the bottom of his matter. You are fine to request a separation period and ask him to leave the family home for a while so you can get your head straight. You need to figure out yourself and how you want to live without him around constantly triggering you with his presence. Ten years is a long time to be on that road of heavy burdens.

    I wish you the very best and hope that you find peace. Please follow-up and let us know how it went.

    ReplyDelete
  22. There's nothing wrong with a woman supporting the home, however in your condition dear Poster your husband is a lazy person who is taking advantage of you. How can he say the job he got was too stressful and had little pay! You have really indulged him all these years.
    What to do? Act fast.... Is it possible to take a leave from work? Like one month.... Tell him you have been sacked! Or better still, you resigned because you were too stressed out and your BP has been high so you have decided you need to stop work and rest! When he asks what will happen to the children, tell him God will provide.... That infact the little money left is for their feeding, so you can't pay school fees. In that one month observe him while cutting down on all your spending at home. Take care of yourself and the children only, give him only remnants of the food.
    If he doesn't change in that one month, I'm sorry, nothing can change that lazy man. The next thing will be to tell him that you were able to beg and they gave you back the job but the salary has been slashed remarkably! This is so that you can cut off every unnecessary spending, focus strictly on you and your kids. You may have to change their school to something more affordable for you so that you can not only stop asking your mum for financial support, but you can also have some savings. Remember to not do anything spending on that man...

    In all thy doings, ensure you don't get pregnant again. I wish you all the best and don't forget to keep praying and talking to him.... Tell him you are stressed and need help... Financial help, from him! Tell him how wrong it is that he resigned the job he got after 10 years.

    Try not to hold back anything and pls, try to free yourself of every form of bitterness....


    From what I know, these men that do like they don't have one kobo ehhhhh, they usually have unusual spare cash but because they have been enabled for a long time, they use it for themselves.

    I totally understand how you feel... Na you carry belle, na you born children, probably na you pay for the deliveries..... Children dey bear Oga name, still Oga no dey support house in the tiniest way. It's frustrating....

    ReplyDelete
  23. The same people blaming her for enabling him are the same people who would abuse a lady for rejecting a jobless man or a man satisfied with peanuts.

    Never ever marry a man who cannot cater for a family no matter how rich you are. Shikena!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you are quoting which scriptures?

      Delete
  24. Hopefully this gets posted. Poster I will advise you request for a six months sabatical leave from your office...hopefully such exists at your place of work. Ensure it is after the school term fees of your kids have been paid, then you tell your hubby your office is restructuring, and let him draw further conclusions from there by himself. Take the first few weeks to rest at home while also going for hospital visits. Let him know the consequence to your health of leaving the job of both provider and homemaker for you alone.Let the next term fees of your kids remain unpaid before you go back to work. Let him see what may happen to the family if you loose that job. Hopefully that would wake him up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na in the obodo abroad you sent this from?

      6 months sabbatical? In which country? Nigeria or where. Will the leave be paid or unpaid. An unpaid leave for this poster?

      Delete

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