Today we want to talk about Adult siblings with entitlement mentality..... Do you have any? You have done so much for them and its not good enough and they want more?
Where did the entitlement mentality emerge from? Did they come to your aid when you were down and now feel you owe them a lifetime of payback?
Or is it just sibling entitlement mentality?
How have you been coping?
Please note that entitlement mentality is not just financial, it is also emotional, social......
Let's gist
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Let me learn. Don't have any
ReplyDelete"Did they come to your aid when you were down and now feel you owe them a lifetime of payback?"
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't know about others but if you help me when at my lowest, be assured that I owe you a lifetime payback. Having said that, I don't have anyone around me who's entitled, I neither.
👌👌👍
DeleteThe 'lifetime payback' mentality shows you have a good heart. However, it becomes detrimental when an entitled former helper always request the payback and nothing seems satisfying enough, coupled with a deliberate reminder (blackmail) of how he/she helped you at your lowest. That begs the OPs question.
DeleteDon't start what you can't finish .
ReplyDeleteMy own joy and happiness is that with God Almighty, I saw myself through school. No family supported. Job nko? Na God Almighty. So any mudafucker wey come dey talk this and that should be prepared to receive this and that.
ReplyDeleteWarrabout the amala man?
DeleteChi aka unknown stop playing dirty
DeleteIt is the rich brothers and sisters that spoil the lazy ones.
ReplyDeleteHow can a grown man be relying on you to feed his wife and kids, pay school fees,house rent, medical bills and pocket money? How? If you set up business for him or his wife, he messes up, you looked for a job for him or his wife and he doesn't do it or messed up, pls abandon them. I say abandon them. They will not die. Let them sit up.
My younger brother was like that, I was doing everything for him yet he did not appreciate. Any day I don't send him the money he requested on time, he would start saying nonsense. He refused to do some type of jobs that I got for him, forming pride. I got married and borrowed myself brain. I stopped all what I was doing, I started complaining of too much expenses. After sometime, I got him a job. He jumped a the job ��������
That was how he became responsible. He single-handedly got married, I only supported with souvenirs for guests and my mum's attires. He is doing fine now.
I get them o Stella. Train their children in school from nursery up to uni level, contributed to several failed business ideas of theirs, now I am evil because I say I no get money to build/renovate village house. I am a woman married, I should leave my immediate family and come and build/renovate our fathers house in the village. The excuse is that our mother is getting old and cannot continue to live in the city, in the house I built for her. The 'old mother' we are talking about hustle pass these lazy boys o.
ReplyDeleteTheir new song is that I am proud and want to show that I have money. How? How abeg?
Ignore mumu talk by unrealistic people
DeleteMy sister when the sibling is male and unreasonable you can see Harry's low intelligence, anger , envy and resentment mixed with hatred of correction aka the olodo version of "ego"
Yet think they are wise
Very strong emotional blackmailers and manipulators
You like others money yet won't show respect
Help them if you have but don't pause your own life because of them. Last last, no one will send you when the chips are down
ReplyDeleteI have siblings but they are not entitled at all. They hustle got their own bread and take whatever you give them without complaints no matter how little.
ReplyDeleteMake I go dash my brother something sef 🥰
😄
DeleteI don't have any of that in my close or extended family. But I do have a friend-turned-sister who has done almost everything for her elder brother and his family and has been through hell and back because of her good nature and deeds. She even lied to her husband to get some money to give to her brother. Her husband dislikes her brother with deep passion because the dude is always in and out of trouble and they have to be responsible for his wife and 5 kids when he goes awol like he always does. They keep having babies like they have the means to cater for them. My friend and her husband put his kids in the same school as their own kids and also set up a small business for his wife so that she can support the house. That's how the dude came one evening to my house to report my friend. He started complaining about how his younger sister is very disrespectful to him because she married a rich man. He said he asked my friend for money and instead of giving him, she gave the money to his wife to start a business. He said my friend's husband promised to buy him a car but instead they used the money to pay their rent for another 2 years. He said my friend's husband decided to put his kids in the same school as his kids when he knows he can't pay for their school bus. Dude lamented and complained and even shed a few tears. I sat there listening like a mumu. I'm glad my husband was home because if it were me alone, I would have thrown him out and dashed him a few unpleasant words for the road. To me, he's a..a...a... out of respect for my friend, let me nor talk. I called my friend and told her never ever to let her brother into her house again because she's already lying to her husband and the dude is desperate and he won't hesitate to crash her home just to satisfy his greedy heart. Just as I predicted, dude decided to blackmail my friend that he would tell her husband that she's cheating. He didn't have an evidence but he had reconnected my friend to her high school sweetheart some years back and just automatically assumed my friend had started an unholy relationship with the dude. What a silly man! When my friend told me, I told her we needed to arrest him and set him in his place. She thought that was too extreme.. not until he went to the kids school and told the school he was there to remove his kids..he was making so much noise about how my friend and husband are diabolical and were using his kids destiny to be successful. As in.. my friend had to hands off. It was then she gave herself sense and cut off from the bros. Till tomorrow, she's still very willing to assist his wife because she feels bad for them but thank God for sense...and all of us that won't stop drawing her ears.
ReplyDeleteThere are some family members in this life that you can give your soul to and it still wouldn't be enough..so why bother abeg. I had front row seat in this matter and I wish she had listened to me.
Efulefu somebody
DeleteLiability siblings
DeleteWickedness inbuilt and follow come
My maternal uncle is so entitled. My late grandma enabled him so much while she was still alive, countless times huge amount of money in millions has been raised for him to start up business many times he would squander it and come back again. His 3 kids my mum is paying their school fees. Sometimes he would call my mom or her sister and give phone to his kids and they would be crying saying there’s no food or that they were sent away from school.
ReplyDeleteHis wife is no better. She learnt tailoring some years back and was making really fine designs from home for friends and family. She complained about space so my mom rented a shop for her and bought her an industrial machine.
Few months later we learned she sublet the shop and was no longer sewing. My mom called her to enquire what happened she responded that she(my mom) got her a shop without furnishing, no fan, no chairs, no decor, only machine is that how to rent shop for someone” that the place was just below her standard so she gave it to someone else n is collecting the rent.
We always told my mom she enabled them to that extent. If they called and she doesn’t answer they would figure themselves out but as long as she keeps running to rescue them each time they would never step up to their responsibilities.
She says she just wants to focus on educating my cousins now so they don’t toll that part too.
We were trained with the mentality of "if I wasn't here, what would you do?"
ReplyDeleteThat has been a mantra, everybody is making moves. What we do is, once one person is struggling, we just bail the sibling out, knowing that that sibling will never ask for help. Sometimes the sibling will say, wait first, lemme exhaust my options.
I don't know if I belong to this group.i have a very rich sister that spend millions for musicians yet we are suffering.most of her friends do suprise that she has a family that suffer.later ,I disown her and I never look back.but I believe if I were in her shoes,I will never do such.this is someone that spends 5million on her friends bday.
ReplyDeleteHmm this is wicked o
DeleteWhat have you everyone for her or others yu feel self entitled. Go and sit down and work I beg! Monitoring someone's else money instead of making urs!!
DeletePlease keep me anon. My sis got married when she was quite young, got married a month to her service and the husband was doing his housemanship. She took in immediately, and things became hard. The husband had siblings in school, since they were orphan. By the time he removes 5 people university school fees that was the end
ReplyDeleteThen, mum was not doing so bad, he supplies my sis with all the required food stuff and 20k monthly. Even if that it wasn't enough. It was hard
I had to starve myself and be saving money, anytime my sis needs anything i will rush down and give her the money. I bought nothing, no clothes no shoes all goes to her
Now, guess whose husband is the best doctor in our state, they live in a duplex and properties scattered everywhere and guess who is helping me now. My sis, cos it is hard. I complain for her to stop, no I'm not entitled, i feel bad. But she keeps reminding me the things i did for her then. Took 2 of my siblings, one is through and another in final year all private universities
As supernova said up there, some people are so grateful that they don't care. Tho we aren't entitled God4bid. My mum trained us well.. But she said we stood by her when she was struggling and she can't turn her back against us
Awww
DeleteYours is reciprocal
DeleteThis segment for vultures and hyenas related by blood to normal hardworking people
I love your story.
DeleteI am married ,and lived with my brother for 9 years, I used my hubby's connections to get him good business, he bought a plot of land with house on it while living with us, I did support him every angle I can cos he is my brother ,I have lived with inlaws too. I helped my brother so the burden won't be much on me, he recently got married, the lady he is married used to visit him in my house and sleep over, I don't intervene. A pastor told how the girl is good for him, along the line said the girl is bad. I told him to clip off cos we no get mama I don't have strength. Now I am now a big enemy to him,even when things were not working for my hubby and I, this guy found it difficult to assist us that we want to empty him that he has to look out for himself and family. Fast forward last year, he brought his only brother to lagos cos he needed someone to do best man for him, he promised to support him with money, I am still the bad sister ooo, his brother didn't stay up to 7 months, the now pregnant wife started complaining that her mom is trouble maker and can't tolerate him having his younger brother with them when she come for omugwo, e no do her, she started complaining she is not enjoying the marriage, she can't wear pant around, this younger brother works Mon to Sat and sometimes Sun. Landlord gave them quit notice , they moved into a new house, they built dumping the younger one who came back to live with me. People advised me to call him,the wife and the pastor that even the pastor told me to assist him so it will help my younger ones but as he is not doing it, the pastor kept quiet cos he is richer now( smiles) nobody wan talk true cos of what they are benefitting. I am not angry that the little he assisted me with when we went broke about 500k, he reported us virtually to everyone, hubby wanted to pay back i told him no. We housed ,fed, provided what is giving him money today but very angry that even if he wanted to live alone with his lovely wife, he should have helped his younger one find a place to stay and pay for him or assist with the money. In life, we learn
ReplyDeleteWhy shd she marry and carry your brother into her new home with her. Am sure she no want stress frm in laws sharp intelligent girl I'm marry! I beg go sit down!!
DeleteAnon18.55, take am easy , the brother invited the younger one with promise to support him, he could have left him where he was than bring him and sent him away without any help. And this sharp intelligent girl was visiting her then fiance and sleepover in the annon house, if the sister has sent him out that way would he has seen money to marry her. Anyways, let her keep being sharp
DeleteWomen and not wanting inlaws around, when tomorrow the younger one becomes richer the same couple will start talking about how they brought him to city. But I blame the brother, why not assist your blood, nobody is saying he must live you but you should've allowed him stand small, or find somewhere comfortable for him as you invite him. I guess what man did to man is forever. Your sister helped you, but you can't help your brother. The wife will have her own children, when the cycle repeats in her home too, hope no wahala. What does it take to be good? Una sister's husband dey try, helped you for 9 years now you have pushed your younger brother too.
DeleteI have a brother who thinks he is entitled to my money. He is almost 40, not married but keeps a lady in his one room apartment. No child. Lady too is not working.
ReplyDeleteWhen our parent separated, I struggled to put myself through Uni. I urged him to concentrate in school as I just secured a job and was paying his fees. He Spent 8 years for 5 years course. Yet came out without a degree. He wasted my money for nothing.
I told him to relocate to join me he refused claiming I want to turn him to house boy.
One day I went home and called the state governor who was my school mate to please give me security. He sent a Prado and police excort vehicle to airport to pick me. I had called my brother to meet me up. On my way to the hotel i passed through our family house and felt like branching to greet old people i had not seen in years, he objected claiming how can I appear affluent when he, my brother is suffering in the village. That hit me.
So i can not live my life because I have a useless brother. He complained about the cost of the hotel i was staying..my money ooo. He had all the opportunity to make it in life but he was into cultism and was rusticated. Today he wants me to carry his cross. If i send money to my mother without giving him,its a problem. He wants to know the type of car I drive. I have to hide everything I do from him.
He does not relate with me except I send him money. Even when i have my own issues, he has never shown concern.
I have chosen to ignore and keep him at arms length.
Where una dey see this kind bro
DeleteLast line is the truth
DeleteWatch your back envy, resentment and hatred follow for such entitled and unreasonable people mind
17:49 From inside the womb.
DeleteNk, it is well
DeleteFor me there are no entitled family members. We were raised to share whatever we had amongst ourselves, anyone who refused to share was beaten blue black. In our teens my elder sister thought us how to love ourselves unconditionally. We saw the wealth of one person as a blessing on the entire family , that is the way my elder sister wanted it. Wealth came through my eli and she used it to stand everyone up, not waiting for anybody to beg for help, paying school fees and feeding wives. We are all individually wealthy courtesy of my elder sister. The problem with those singing with my money,my money is that they want to enslave their siblings. If you have been blessed help your siblings to achieve success, teach them how to fish and allow them to stand on their own. Buying foodstuffs, paying fees and others is nonsensical
ReplyDeleteJust thank God that your sister’s efforts were successful and all your siblings fell in line and became responsible. Don’t downplay other people’s experiences. I have one but it’s not his fault but because of spiritual problems. We’re in the process of marrying for him, I keep praying for God to see us through. It is well.
DeleteIf in doubt ask Abel about Cain
DeleteNot everyone has good siblings
Some people's name is take, complain, give themselves standards according to your money and refuse to stand despite all aid
It is not about enslaving
It is about wickedness mixes with low intelligence and they are a sibling or two
If you have normal thinking ones as siblings appreciate GOD
Delete17:50
DeleteMarrying for him so he can now torment and destroy another woman's destiny.
So now one innocent woman thinking she has come to a place of rest will now enter Suffering Pro Max?
As a man, he cannot marry for himself?
It is well.
You can only teach the person willing to learn. You can only give work to or start a business for a person willing to work. Some family members feel entitled. Some just need a leg space and support to stand, but don't get help from family members capable enough to render help .
DeleteAnybody who cannot marry for themselves never reach to marry!
DeleteYou are not helping them but creating more problems for the future
DeleteThe entitlement mentality I'm facing here is not even from family members but strangers .What is shame again?
ReplyDeleteI'm just lying low here, I don't know who they take me for.