Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmm.....





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

DIFFICULT MOTHER IN LAW



I Recently read a message where my Mother In Law (MIL) was telling my husband to stop helping out with house chores when he’s at home because he’s not a maid. Even mentioned that the last time we were together at an event she saw the nails I fixed and was wondering how I would be cooking and doing laundry with such nails.


So she’s certain I abandon all the chores for him once he’s home. 


My hubby works offshore, half the time he’s home and when he’s home he usually helps out around the house. I work full time and still take care of the kids and chores whether he’s home or not. 


I’ve never had any issues with my MIL. We are cordial and talk once in a while when the need arises. 


Right now My feelings towards her have really changed and I have been ignoring her hypocritical morning devotional messages. The issue atm now is that she just sent me a message asking that I consider coming with my 3 kids to spend some time with her during the long vacation, she said she has told my hubby and he said he would discuss with me. 


I’ve read her message since and yet to give her any feedback, a part of me just wants to continue ignoring because if I say what is in my mind it won’t be nice. As her son is not a maid, she has seen the real maid to come and stay with her so she can have more opportunities to find more faults with me. 


Am I over reacting? 


My hubby ignored what she said in the chat and sort of changed the topic. He hasn’t brought up the topic of going to visit her with the kids yet and I’m yet to make up my mind on how to respond to that. I need your suggestions please..



Hmmmm i dont even know what to say to you on this...

Maybe you should not bother going as this may spark off a major crisis. She definitely wants to pick more flaws and put more stressful pressure on her son....Maybe there is a feeling that comes with seeing ones son doing the chores for his wife, I dont know.


You are not over reacting and I urge you not to go!

99 comments:

  1. I think your husband here is responsible and wont take a decision that will trouble his home. Leave everything to him, meanwhile, if he tells you about going there, tell him you can only stay for one or two days and leave the kids behind. Dont react badly, keeping being yourself until she mention whatever it is to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Olomo, abeg don't tell any woman to leave her child anywhere apart from school or religious meetings abeg. The days are evil.

      Delete
    2. @ Jechix, did you say religious gatherings? A pedophile recently confessed of going to churches to see if he can lure little girls out.

      Delete
    3. She should not go at all, leave kids behind for what?

      Delete
    4. @Jechix even with their grand parents? Haba... Dont tell me you wont allow your kids stay with your parents even for a day

      Delete
    5. @Olomo, yes I won't. Times have changed. They may not be bad in themselves, but what about other people in the house? I have to be there with them my dear. When I leave, they leave with me. I no fit shout.

      Delete
    6. Olomo, there are evil people everywhere including grandma's neighbours or those living with Grandma, gateman, etc. I cannot leave my kids for anyone apart from school. Eve school, we use prayers to back it up

      Delete
    7. Since your husband did not encourage her, please my sister ignore her. I know is not easy to ignore just like that, but breath in and breath out and ignore. My sister-in-law once advice my husband to send me packing because I gave birth to a child that was sick. Hubby did not tell me neither did he consent but I got to know later yet I never react, in fact I still give her things and she will pray and pray.

      But for the visitation find a way to avoid it for now.

      Take care.

      Delete
    8. He is not doing chores "for his wife". He is doing chores in his home. She is not a house wife. All the chores are not her job only.

      Delete
    9. I agree with Stella's advice ho ha!

      Delete
    10. Olomo olomo, some grand parents are evil. You know only yourself!

      Delete
  2. I still waiting for the day I will read husband and father in-law ish.

    Poster bear it in mind that you will be MIL one day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And your point is?
      The poster has not even said/done anything wrong to the woman.
      I know you are a wicked inlaw. Change. Cos whatever we sow, we will all reap.

      Delete
    2. The thing is most ladies like me initially were very carefree and unproblematic, it's when we have been dealt with severally by people,we now learn to look for red flags in attitude and speech before it becomes a full blown problem to us.

      Na the mama bring wahala come in dis case na, isn't it a good thing a man helps out in chores, the same way we expect women to work and help out financially?

      Delete
    3. U will never read such because men tolerate one another but u see women, they are enemies

      Delete
    4. May God bless my mother inlaw. She has her own issues but definitely not something like this. She even encourages my husband to help me out at home. My husband is not in town but his mum calls me twice every single day, morning and night. Asks if I have eaten, what I have eaten and how my day went.

      Delete
    5. What's with you will be a mother in law one day. She hasn't done anything bad.
      She saw a message that hurt her, she's human na.
      Do you think as she saw that message she go laff and dey happy or what?

      Delete
  3. But honestly how do you do house chores with those nails???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lo bere ni council

      Delete
    2. Those nails doesn't stop anywoman from doing house chores, you can even wash bitter leaf with the very long ones๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿฟ‍♀️.

      Delete
    3. Lmao๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ@anon15:37

      Delete
  4. Most mothers are like that. Since your hubby didn’t pay attention to what his mum said, let it slide.
    Respond to her message and let her know your decision about coming over with the kids.
    You didn’t state anywhere that she’s been giving you problems, so ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฟ‍♀️

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Press ignore on the message to your house, note her real thoughts
      Give polite, civil distance

      If your husband doesn't bring up the holiday matter, don't bring it up

      Work on the building anger in you so you don't lash out and then give the mama what to hold
      Be really sweet to your husband more for not being manipulated by his mother
      Dey your dey
      Pray against any mistake and error

      Delete
    2. Obviously she's manufacturing problems in her head but hasn't manifested them yet, thank God for an understanding man that refused to be swayed and thank God she saw that message so she can avert the MIL's plans.

      Poster, your husband hasn't said anything cos he knows where his mother is heading to and wishes to avoid it, discuss with him with valid reasons why you can't make it and he will concur. Keep being nice and civil to her but deal with her only when necessary.

      Delete
    3. Why do you people like leaving your kids anyhow? I know it’s MIL but pls dnt leave ur kids with anybody including ur maids. Always stay with ur children and watch what they eat Or how the are treated. Na carelessness kids take dey chop winch so.

      Delete
    4. If you can’t leave your kids with mil, then you both have more serious problems

      Delete
    5. Don’t leave your kids with anyone yen yen yen.take them to work with and business meetings.nowhere is safer for kids than with parents(even some parents are the worst place the kids can be)but in other to live life with balance,parents have to spend time away from their kids from time to time.

      Delete
  5. Poster for your own sanity, do away with the anger. See your mother inlaw as an old school woman who is still in a stone age. Don't go visiting and try to avoid her as much as possible but let go off the anger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this. You just echoed my exact thought

      Delete
    2. Yes, she is old school and many "new school" sister inlaws sef can't stomach it. Let it slide.

      Delete
  6. Knowing what you know now,albeit indirectly,do not go over to hers if you want this "peace" you enjoy continue. Since your hubby is mature enough not to let what is not an issue between u both become one, sustain that peace and find some.excuse and tell mama nicely that you and the kids will not be making it unless of course the kids can go without you. Protect your space and peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are not over reacting but don't let your husband know you read that message or if he knows, don't show it hurt or pained you. He has not complained in anyway. Don't also respond to your mother inlaw as if you ever read something about her advice to her son. Just be normal and maintain your relationship with her as it is so you can have access to read n know more in future. It is not everytime that confrontation solves problems, there are little sacrifices that one should make for peace to reign. Also don't go for the holiday,. Stay with your kids in your house. She can come over if she wants. Life is too short to start or engage in a quarrel with your mother inlaw pls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why won’t she let him know??? The more reason she should let him know so he can address it with his ridiculous mother! He should let her know to mind her damn business and whatever he does in his household is his business and not hers!!! All this nonsense ignoring is what causes feelings of hurt and anger. Every time Ignore ignore ignore as if she’s doesn’t have flesh and blood running through her vein. If the mother inlaw is wise enough, she’ll call and apologize! So yes she should let him know! Mtscheww

      Delete
    2. NO, absolutely NOT. There’s no way she can act normal after reading such hurtful message. Some of you Naija women their lack of self worth honestly all in the name of marriage. She needs to address it with her husband abeg so next time mother inlaw won’t find shit to say. She’s just jealous because her own husband no help her or what? Why start issues in her son’s home???. She should be proud she raised a son who’s sensitive enough to his wife’s needs! But no jealousy no dey make her see otherwise. Your comment is annoying

      Delete
    3. 16:15 you can’t stop people from finding shit to say

      Delete
    4. Confronting your husband about his mother is a very wrong move. He may not tell you, but he will see you differently from that day onwards. Why confront an issue that is a non-issue to him??????????? He did not stop doing the chores, so what is the main problem here?! Buying trouble where there is none. Na una sabi, as you make your bed, so shall you lie on it.

      Delete
  8. I don't understand why women can't seem to ignore certain things.
    The old woman is from another era when men were the providers and women stayed home and did the chores.
    A message like this wouldn't even bother me. I would have laughed it off.
    Small thing, women would start carrying face and keeping malice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women were not wired to ignore. Men were. It's natural. It never totally goes away. It only improves with maturity. This trait has its positive side too. If you study women well you'll understand.

      Delete
    2. Well she’s different from you and apparently they don’t have that much of a relationship for mother inlaw to talk about her home in that manner. She should be even more careful moving forward.

      Delete
    3. Or maybe Poster knows she is really leaving domestic work fully for her husband because she does all the chores when her husband is off shore. And she sees her MIL as a spoiler.

      Delete
    4. Learn to be matured and to ignore. It will give you piece of mind.

      Delete
  9. Please don't go. Respond to her that you cannot make it. Don't ignore the msg, it's rude.
    Just keep being cordial to her. Na her son you will express your displeasure to if he brings it up.
    It's his son's duty to put her in her place when she started that discussion with him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Stay put in your house o and don't let 'see finish' to enter this your case.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Comments like such can be painful especially from someone you think you are cool with.
    What does she stand to gain if her son and DIL starts having issue over house chores? Some people are just fault finders.
    I advise you to let it go for the sake of peace. Your husband even ignored the chat, and he has not brought it up, meaning its not important to him.
    Please do not bring the issue up. Seems your husband is a man of peace.
    If you will have to take your kids to her house, you can spend shorter time than the usual time you normally spend.

    Sista Jane

    ReplyDelete
  12. Women and wahala. Is your own mother a perfect mother in law to your brothers wives?
    Why read a private message your mother in law sent to her son?
    Your husband was careless not to have deleted the message after reading it.
    Haven't you said or written things that hurt others?
    I also wonder how you cook with such long nails. Not hygienic at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate those ridiculous long nails honestly. How do they even wash down there properly??๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝ‍♀️

      Delete
    2. I have naturally long nails. I have realised that nails are dirtier when they're short. It's easier for dirt to get lodged in them when short.

      Delete

  13. Poster please overlook her words and visit her.
    My sincere prayers most times is to have my mother in-law alive because of seasons like this. Have the children visit her, play with her and make her happy. I also pray not to get a diabolical, wicked or selfish mother inlaw. When I see what mothers go through while bringing up their children. They spend their most active years denying themselves of most pleasures because of their children. In their old age, the best we can do is to ignore most of their flaws and make them happy. God please give me the grace to be an amazing daughter in-law because I will also want a caring daughter in-law I'm future.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What he said with his mum is one thing;what he does with what was said to him is another thing;allow your husband be until he throws it to your face that you are not taking your responsibilities well..

    Not every action you see or hear of from your in-laws require a reaction;and most times some reactions are better when it’s coming from your husband to his own mother or siblings,so you don’t create bad blood for yourself(they can always forgive their own blood)..

    How many times have you seen a man complain of his father inlaw or you think all are Saint?

    Ignore and wait till it’s thrown to you;then you react if necessary..

    In all,learn not to create permanent enemies cos of temporary situations,you might not know now but there comes a day when you would need one or two Inlaw’s by your side for something;use your head and keep one or two at your side always..

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men don’t complain about father in laws much because many Nigerian cultures have helped them by not making it a big deal if they refuse to spend the night at the in-laws but see ladies see expected to make nice to spend the night to take kids over on holiday to the in-laws even if hubby doesn’t come along. His won’t see finish enter

      Delete
  15. I mistakenly mentioned to my Mom in law that my hubby branches the market on his way back from work. Hmmmm it became a big family matter as I wasn't working at that time. She complained that how can I be at home and my hubby still branches market after work, why it was so was because I had an infant at the time and we did not have a car then so hubby felt it will be too stressful for me. I wasn't angry with her at all, instead I saw from her point of view and totally stopped telling my in law's about my marriage. Till now we are very civil with ourselves. From your narration madam your mother in law is just being concern about her child. Put yourself in her shoes please. You will be a mother in law too someday. Go and see what real troublesome mother in laws are doing to their son's wife you go thank God for your own. Please treat others the way you want to be treated.

    ReplyDelete
  16. To avoid another see finish or faults finding dey your dey or you go with the kids and stay for 2days and leave your kids behind.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I really think you are over reacting. This woman doesn’t really stress you from what I have read up there. You saw a chat where she was gossiping with her son and you are taking it personally why?
    Don’t forget that she is old school. She is just expressing her beliefs from where she is coming from and it’s also ok for her to wonder how you do chores with the nails. This is something you should just laugh over and ignore
    I would advise you that if she is a good lady and she doesn’t trouble you. Pls befriend her and treat her as u would treat your mum.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going to spend time with her Don’t sweat it learn to ignore.

    Zendaya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The woman doesn’t stress you but pulls hubby to the corner to plant seeds
      Bible says open rebuke is better than secret life. There’s a reason

      Delete
    2. No wonder why some of these men feels entitled and hardly help their women at home. Mothers treat them like a prince and don’t do shit!!! This is not fair on women honestly. Nonsense mentality. What’s wrong with helping your wife at home? My dad help my mom all the time and I’m sure he’s the same age as poster’s mother inlaw! Stop excusing nonsense abeg

      Delete
  18. I would say u should not go to her house until you are sure u are no longer angry with her.

    As per the message u read, as long as ur husband has not changed his attitude towards household chores, just ignore it.

    If u choose to travel to her place, do the chores u can do and don’t kill urself. Take as much as u can personally handle and if she decides to kill u with chores, report to ur husband. He seems like a good man and will know how to handle his mother.

    Lastly, since she has been cordial with u, pls try and forgive her for this one and if she ever brings up the topic, try and educate her why it’s necessary for husbands to assist with chores

    ReplyDelete
  19. Your MIL sounded like a woman of her own era, that doesn't mean she hates you. If you wear long nails all the time, how do you cook with it? You already called her a hypocrite and wants to deny her a visit from her grand kids, continue, you will be a grandmother some day. Most of you DIL complain about your MIL while you overlook your own mother's excesses. Some of your "perfect" mothers are monster in-laws to their DILs. You can hardly hear men complain about their in-laws.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She’s not denying her a visit
      She didn’t stop hubby from taking them
      It’s just y’all expect her to take the kids to a place she doesn’t feel welcome
      Why can’t mamas son take them

      Delete
    2. 16:47
      One good point made. When next your husband is onshore during the vacation, he should take the children go spend time with their grandma. Poster is already used to having her husband being away from home.

      Delete
  20. You're overreacting. You would have gone if you hadn't seen your kids. Like you said, she is not problematic towards you. Avoiding and ignoring her is not the solution. I honestly feel your visit will be your chance to prove her otherwise.
    You don't have to stay for the whole long vacation. You can stay a week then site an excuse.
    Imagine yourself as a grandmother asking to see your grandkids.
    Some of these things require wisdom. What do you have to lose really?
    You're overreacting. Your husband still helps out with chores doesn't he?

    ReplyDelete
  21. In marriage always concentrate on your husband's actions, inactions and reactions. That's what should matter to you. Every other person is an outsider and should be treated so.

    In this case, what did your husband say? If he hasn't said anything, wait for it. That's what should form the basis of your next action.

    As for going to your MIL's house. Hmmnn; if you ask me, I'll tell you not to go, because presently, you are upset with what you saw. Maybe some other time when you are less tensed. Make you no go unexpectedly explode with vexation. If your husband says you should go, find two to three excuses that are strong enough and tell him.

    How do you handle kids with long nails? Just asking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It doesn't always work like that. I mean concentrating on the husband's actions or inactions. My hubby is funny. He will support all his people say against me and will conveniently pretend to my face. When they throw me under the bus,he adds fire to it and will smile to my face,he will never defend me. But when I complain about his people,he will try to make me feel like I don't submit to him, tell me how his people have always complained about me infact leave me alone and vulnerable.

      Delete
  22. Don't go . Form an activity for yourself and the kids. Ordering an adult as if the adult cannot have a say. She should have asked you directly.

    Her reasons got asking you to come is not for anything nice anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You are a woman and one day you'll become a mother in law. You are definitely overreacting. Which mother sees her son doings house chores more than necessary that will not talk. Even you will talk when you become MIL. Which one is the see finish people are saying. Two different generations. Pls take her as your mum as she is good with you. Do unto her what you want to be done to you. Take your kids there and you can stay with them for a couple of days or a week then go home or leave them there if they are independent of some sort. Life isn't hard like that. Please let her enjoy her grandkids dont keep them away from her.Spread love.

    ...MadeNew...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. When it comes to MIL issue. Most women go.annon. every woman prays to.become a mother-in-law one day. When God answers that prayer, will you be happy if your daughter in-law treat you the way you are treating your mother-in-law currently. What goes around comes around.

      Delete
    2. Let's call evil evil. I grew up in a family that loves and accepts their in laws. My parents brought us up to love one another and treat whatever "belongs" to any of us as our own. My sisters-in-laws adore my parents and the family they have found themselves.

      So, imagine me dreaming of marrying only to discover some families took vacation from hell to be on earth. When I saw that evil just resides in some hearts, I gave my in laws more than enough space. It takes two to tango. I went in with an open heart, but what I saw turned me into a guarded crafty person when around in laws. So, my mother-in-law's current treatment ( civil and distanced) is even too good for what my eyes saw.

      Delete
    3. Hmmmm! Story of my life. Civil and distanced is the best option my sister

      Delete
  24. Do you keep the long nails all time? Or put them on for parties?

    Do you leave all or most of the house chores for your husband during his onshore time on the basis that you have been doing them when he was away offshore?

    Wait, how did your MIL get to know her son (your husband) do home chores when he is onshore?

    You and your husband both work and earn. Have you considered getting help on some chores so you both can have some rest even if you say or believe your husband is not compalining about the chores?

    There is a reason offshore workers are usually given full period off work onshore - It appears the employers want them to rest fully maybe because onshore work is tedious. Is this what your MIL is considering too?

    The Bible says not to keep an ear at the doorpost when leaving a room lest we hear employees' curses. If you continue reading your MIL chats, Are sure you will not read more to trouble yourself and your marriage?

    Since you work, do you have leave for the planned vaction visit?

    If you go on the vacation and you stay, be ready to work than you have ever done to convince her you are not a lazy bone. But as your mind is already affected towards your MIL, you may not work from your heart or happy place. You are likely to return unhappy unless you let go of your disaffection and treat it that even your own mother may have said what your MIL said. Yes you read right. mothers advice their daughters so based on thier own worldview or based on how good the SIL has been to them.

    Are you over-reacting? Maybe since your husband deflected the discussion and he is clearly intentional on satisfying you in the marriage.

    Some men like their wives and would do anything for them. Such men also love their parents so too. Such men do not like being made to choose between wives and parents. Wiser women know well not to put such men to making the choice between them and their parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You for your detailed advice. The day she saw me on nails was my parents anniversary.

      Delete
  25. I have a 7 year old son and he is in home training with me. I sing it to his hears always clean after yourself because nobody in this world is your slave including your wife.

    I hate dirty areas and he knows it so he cleans up always.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Happy me! My MIL wont even bother asking me and the kids over. She barely spends 2nights in any of her son's homes cos we've all dealt with her and clipped her wings. I once commented on how she slapped me at the slightest provocation until i slapped her back and gave her the beat down...other wives did too. I wonder why she allowed all 6 of them to marry? Poster, ignore her biko

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha your own is waiting in front for you. Continue that is if you live long to be a mother inlaw

      Delete
  27. Let's analyse this from a different perspective, sweetheart. I know mothers-in-law get a bad rap but it could just be a harmless concern. She's of a different generation where wives paid more attention to chores, taking care of children and generally catering to their husbands. A woman of that generation would expect her son's wife to act a certain way. She can't help but judge you by her standards. As long as she's respectful with her criticisms, doesn't she have the right to voice her feelings to her son?

    Darling, you know how to some fathers, no man is ever good enough for a typical "daddy's girl"? Some mothers feel that way about their sons. There's usually this unspoken rivalry between mothers and their daughters-in-law. Even when it comes to culinary skills, some men will tell you their mothers' cooking is the best, even if the wife is a "domestic goddess". Do you really think a mother of that generation will applaud her son for doing domestic work when he has a wife? She doesn't have the modern mindset. I don't think her morning devotional messages are hypocritical. She's just being an old school mother concerned about her son.

    Is it really so incomprehensible that she's wondering how you can manage chores with your nails? At least she respects your boundaries by asking her son and not you. Some women will walk up to you and query you outrightly for wearing artificial nails. Some will be microaggressive and start making snide remarks. Luckily for you, your hubby seems to be on your side. I know he wouldn't want you to hold a grudge against his mother, regardless.

    As for ignoring her messages, that's a tad petty. You saw the message she sent to her son, not you. You have to be mature about it. Unless you have a cogent reason, please don't deprive a granny of her grandbabies. Spending a couple of days at hers wouldn't be the end of the world. Why not use this opportunity to show her how well you function with your nails? Honey, it's an unrealistic expectation for you to assume family members will like you and not say uncomplimentary things about you. If you eavesdrop on the conversation about you with the people who are nearest and dearest to you,  you will be amazed. Personally, I feel you're overreacting but, hey!...what do I know, right? I honestly hope you figure things out and get a pleasant outcome.

    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Go to her place with your long nails,do all the house chores you normally do in your house with those nails let her see, please don't deny the woman the company of her grandkids, as a woman always put your mil in your shoes and in your mother's shoes

    ReplyDelete
  29. Is your hubby me?I am tired of house chores.after coming back from work,I will work till midnight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In fact. Some men who work from home or get home earlier than their wives have their hands full. Some husbands know what they see in marriage. Some wives take the deliberate decision of their husbands to have peaceful marriage for granted.
      Poster only sees the MIL as wanting to spoil her marriage. Because of that she does not want to be near MIL.

      Imagine Poster olding grudge against a MIL whose son is already doing all needful for her comfort. and protection. It is possible that if Poster's husband reads what poster wrote here about his mother, Poster may be surprised to know more about her husband.

      Delete
  30. Don't visit her biko, stay on your own before see finish will enter. If you still want to enjoy peace in your home, please avoid visitimg her by all means.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Mother inlaws and thier wahala, pls give reasons why you and the children cannot make it for long hols at this time. May be some other time you can spend the holiday with her cos trust me you will burst when you go there now. But why can't mothers stop pokenosing in thier children's marriages. My own mother inlaw doesn't like tidying up so mote work for me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. do not go to the hols with the kids...tell her son to cook up something n tell her.

    ReplyDelete
  33. If I were you, I would ignore the message considering the fact that she's elderly ( most elderly people are like that, they reason differently); and also your husband didn't take what she said seriously, so forgive her and move on with your life

    ReplyDelete
  34. Simply reply noted ma . Then patiently wait for your husband to say something. Don't prompt him. She's messaging you because your husband has not answered her. Keep your cool and watch.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Poster I hope you see this. For your husband to have ignored her that means he is silently on your side.
    Now here is the way to handle the situation.
    Tell her that your kids signed up for some holiday camp thing and they won’t be able to make it, maybe they would come another time. Keep making excuses on why you can’t see her. If she complains you can send her a gift, not cash o, any kind of nice gesture to pacify her.
    Understand that she’s your MIL and so you have to be diplomatic and reasonable when handling her. You definitely are not overreacting, she wants to create an issue when there is no need for that.
    I wish you all the best.
    PS: DO NOT SOUND COLD TOWARDS HER. you need to master that.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Go and spend the weekend…Friday evening to Sunday and leave. Tell her that the kids have been enrolled for swimming and other classes so you can’t stay for long. Just try to avoid issues, at least in those few days, please try to be at your best behavior. All the best Ma’am.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Lmao! You really think hygiene is by length of nails? Wow

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster, tell her your children are enrolled in summer school that they can only come on weekend. Make all you and your children go on Friday, come back Sunday evening. Cook correct egusi soup and take it to her. That you are lazy won't show up even if you don't get to do a lot. That soup go redeem you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Poster, please dont go. And you dont have to lie.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Reply her message ASAP say the kids have been playing with your phone you didn’t notice it on time. Tell her you’ll discuss it with your husband when he’s back that you’ll get back to her send her plenty kisses ๐Ÿ˜˜ Mama has a plan waiting for you, jump and pass this one first. As to whenever she’s around whatever chores she wants you to do please do it and do it in front of her. For peace to reign because na this kind small small yeye matter dey turn double wahala for future

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster, you cannot avoid or ignore your mother in law forever. You have a good man, he did not listen to the advice. You should be thankful for that. Please ignore the message the same way your husband ignored it and do not bring it up unless he does.

    Mother in laws are not perfect. They make mistakes and even overthink things - always. Show her love - that is the best way to deal with her. Above all, do not forget who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Don’t sweat it .
    She didn’t ask you directly.
    My own biological mother asks me same question and I always laugh over it .
    She even told my hubby in my presence but he knows I am a machine most times . Long nails don’t stop me

    ReplyDelete

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