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Monday, August 01, 2022
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No
ReplyDeleteNo. May God not let us get to that point.
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
Hmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI get them plenty wey I don cut off.
The issue is, they tend to be nice when they need you and after that, they will just stop calling you and when you call to say hello, they will think u are calling for money then the next thing na to block your call.
I showed one some months ago, he called me as usual and wanted me to do something for him, I allowed him to talk and after then, i told him I don't have time.come see how he dey lash me.. mitchew..just hanged up on me
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI was just discussing this with my dad this afternoon. I encouraged /supported my cousin to come abroad through school. Because he had good grades, I thought he had personal drive to succeed. Supported him to get tuition scholarship but I told him he would have to work for living expenses and to learn the local language if he wanted to get professional job after school. I did what I could do for him, mostly showing him the way and words of encouragement. Gave him, money when he was drowning (because he refused to work and thought student job was beneath him). I guess he had different expectations of abroad and that I will be giving him money on the regular (naija family entitlement).
ReplyDeleteHe didn't cope well with the transition and fell into deep depression (hospital level). Now he is going around telling everyone that I am a bad person that did not support him. That I am the cause of his problem, that he would have stayed in naija if I didn't say he should come. At a point I had to tell the people to stop coming to tell me what he said. I stopped calling him because the whole matter was too stressful for me because the truth is that I tried what I could do within my limit, but his expectations were different so he cannot see or appreciate my effort.
He has never lived with him (only visited during school vacation), so there is no topic of maltreatment.
My dad was begging me not to totally cut him off so that there will not be bad blood in the family. Also I am his only family in this country. The truth is that with what he has been saying around to people, the damage has been done and like today's chronicle poster, only God and time can vindicate me. I do not want the negative energy about this matter, so I have cut him off but will be praying for him from afar.
Why won't he work to pay for his accommodation and living expenses since his family cannot afford to send him funds? Was he finding it hard finding student jobs? I have friends in Sweden that struggled to get student jobs because of the language and the fact that average citizens also do those jobs on a regular so the competition is quite high. It's possible he had difficulty learning the language and instead of figuring out how to master it, he gave up.
DeleteIf he had job to support himself but chose not to do them because it's beneath him like you said, he can look for remote jobs online or move back to Naija and try to get direct entry into a Nigerian University if he still doesn't want to stay back and fend for himself. Blaming you instead of figuring out how to adapt and settle in properly will not help him in anyway.
Good riddance
DeleteNo time to cut off anyone. Let my enemies live long and see me bounce back. My testimony will be my revenge.
ReplyDeleteExactly my mind set, I would have typed same
DeleteNope!!
ReplyDeleteYes, extended family members for witchcraft.
ReplyDeleteI haven’t but I’m about to and it’s cos of entitlement.i don’t bother people because I believe nobody owes me anything but Iv been going through some tough times lately and instead of some siblings to understand,they start feeling entitled instead.Being the first child sometimes is a huge scam mehn.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt. Na marriage wahala, I just blocked her everywhere blockable. She would call me early in the morning that she went to one pastor or one mountain and they said its because my secondary school class mates used to call mee something that I can't find husband. I was 26 as at the time I blocked her, she started the marital harassment when I was 21. I mean, I'm not living with you, you are not feeding me so what's your problem? The last time which was 6 years ago I told her no one should be harassed over getting married and only happily married people should be pushing others to marry not divorcees like you. I was so upset, she called me 6 am to give me her doomed prophecy. I felt bad because of what I said to her and knew that she wouldn't stop since she started when I was 21. So I just blocked her for my peace of mind, what's the point of so called prophets that can tell you problem and not solution. Six years later, I'm still single but I won't trade my peace of mind for anything. I go home once in 2 years now, I used to love going home every quarter but the see finish too much. I go once in 2 years and spend like 5 days tops. I didnt even attend my siblings weddings because I knew they would make it all about me. My mental health is more important abeg and I need to protect myself from negativity. It's a different case if it's genuine concern but na to mock person. Make I kill myself because I no get husband?
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you a hug
DeleteAwwwwwww you’ll be fine 18:59. Don’t let anyone drive you crazy with marriage talks. When the time is right, you’ll get married.
DeleteHad an aunty like that too, all she ever “saw” and “dreamt” were bad stuff. She’ll call my dad and tell him this and that. My dad always warned her not to mention such to him. I remember he asked her one time if they don’t see good things happening in their church 🤣😂
Take care sis. 🥰
Sluttychic.
🤗🤗🤗
DeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteI am no fan of my in-laws. I cannot look at them and not remember how they choose to stereotype me as an edo woman when I wanted to marry my now husband. They even went as far as not giving a gift, not even a plastic plate; not that we needed their money or gifts though, by God’s grace we both had more than enough for the wedding. Now, they want to come around and be one big happy family because they think I am not the supposed Edo women they thought I was and I just don’t care for it. I have mentally and emotionally cut them off. Unless it’s absolutely necessary or unavoidable, I don’t talk to them.
ReplyDeleteNa wa. What’s wrong marrying an Edo woman? It’s good the way you’ve given them space.
DeleteSluttychic.
No
ReplyDeleteMy blood sister. She was dating her secondary school mate in the village. My dad got mad with her and beat her blue black. His anger was that the guy's house is near my dad shop. She will dress up for school and end up in the guy's house. I asked her to come over to my state of residence. Enrolled her in school. She finished secondary school and got admission in a Polytechnic here. That her mumu village boyfriend still followed her and deceieved her with marriage. That is how my sister did not finish OND. She got pregnant and said if she did not marry the boy she will die. All efforts to make.her finish school fall on deaf ears. People adviced me to.leave her. She got married. Within 7years of marriage she has 5children. Complete house wife. To feed is a problem as the boy is not doing any serious thing. I am tied of helping her and her husband. I have given her money twice to start business and she squandered the money. I got divorced due to TTC. I need to find my own feet too.
ReplyDeletePlease face front o. You have tried even more than her and your own parents and you deserve to be happy.
DeleteYou have tried please leave her alone, if you didn’t take ur life seriously and hustle to make something out of urself will you be able to help her? I dislike people that don’t want to help themselves,whatever she is going through now is self inflicted.
DeleteNot one
ReplyDeleteYes. My elder sister.
ReplyDeleteMy elder sister told my boss to terminate my job out of jealousy and my job was terminated immediately and I was replaced. She is Oga at the top. Post this only if I am anonymous.
Chronicles of hope
Your own blood did that to you, unbelievable!! What did you parents and siblings say about it?
DeleteSluttychic.
Sister from hell, jealous of you even when she is the boss na wa
DeleteYes she is my the same mother, the same father. She is my immediate elder sister.
DeleteI hide it from other siblings because peace in our family is very important to me.
She is jealousy because I use my salary and upgrade myself in education while she refused to do so ( she is loaded with money and very stinge at the same time ) I am always helpful and generous to people who I am better than even duo I am serious struggling with money.
This story is not complete
DeleteNa wa oo
DeleteWickedness
Yes I have.
ReplyDeleteA former colleague lost his job and every time he'll be calling and text6for money to feed himself and family.
I brought him to work with me, not for me but work with me.
He went to all the offices and companies I work with a falsified documents, tarnished my name and image to take away the jobs from me.
I found out and cut all ties with him.
Will never ever do such mistake again. Never
Was a scammer and a very manipulative person. I moved and never turn back.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt for sanity sake. Always calling to tell me about my mate who are buy car,who is building big house,whose husband is taking to Dubai, not as if its bad o,but at the end of each call I will now start feeling like a failure, and the way she sounded when I shared my little win,as if shey na that level your mates still dey, though she means well,but make she allow me run my own race. I stopped picking her call, but I kind of miss her,but every call,she must tell me one of my mates that's doing wonders,abeg make I run my race
ReplyDeleteAlso i cut of my Dad, Omo na story for another day.
ReplyDeleteThe man did something i cant ever get over it, maybe with time i might but certainly not now.
i have no energy to type
If it's not sexual harassment, reconnect him
DeleteU will never know the value of a father till he's gone
Its not sexual harassment but anyone that want to go should please go in peace.
DeleteIf he is not playing fatherly role
DeleteLet him dey his dey
Yes,just one person in my paternal family although I didnt cut off completely,I greet whenever I see him but will never call or visit his house.
ReplyDeleteNope!!
ReplyDeleteI actually did that to my stepsisters, two of them because they didn't mean well for me. One of them always tells me to throw away anything anyone gives me while she keeps hers and she advised me when I was just sixteen to start having sex and she would give me what to take. The second one always beat me for no reason
ReplyDeleteNooo
ReplyDeleteNop
ReplyDeleteNada
Nehi
No
ReplyDeleteLies, betrayal...I dislike these two alot
ReplyDeleteOlder Cousin 1
ReplyDeleteMy dad who was the bread winner of his extended family at a time sold his plot of land, sent the money to his nephew, my cousin, who lives abroad. Cousin who was rich, had a car in university. It was on a visit to the country cousin was studying, dad's in-law saw cousin, came back and told my dad not to be sending money to cousin that he lives better than every of his relative. Meanwhile, we thought cousin would help us relocate abroad after graduation. No. He still feels my dad did not do much for him.
Older Cousin 2
Dad contributed in his travel. He came one day in my university days, that he wants us to help him get a girl to marry. Straight up, with my twin, took him to the house of the then chief judge of my state. He did not even invite us to the wedding. The day he was traveling back, with his right leg inside the car and leaning on the opened car door, he told us he was going to our state capital. It was that night he left for Lagos and boarded his flight. Fast forward to years later, I confronted him
He said "so you guys have now grown and opened eyes?" That why was older cousin 1 served food on the dining table and not him? My house was the rendezvous for everyone then. I was shocked. I asked him "but you were given food? I asked him so he has had this in his mind for like eternity? Meanwhile, step brothers of older cousin 2 quarrelled with him constantly for not helping relocate us.
When my dad died and was buried, older cousin 2 was in Nigeria, he did not come for the burial together with his wife, the girl we gave him as wife.
Older cousin 1 has visited Nigeria multiple times since dad passed on but has not come visiting.
Older cousin 3 (younger brother to older cousin 1)
After jamb , dad used his closeness to the then VC of our state's university to secure him admission. It was even the VC that was calling dad to ask of his nephew that wanted admission. He graduated, went on to work in IITA, Ibadan. He won US visa lottery. Lives in one of the affluent areas of Sacramento, capital of California Works for government. They use chopper to pick him for work. I traveled to a country, got stranded. Got his number, called him, his response was "did I send you there?"
Their maternal home is my own family compound. We all have moved on but none of us is forgetting.
We're all adults now and everyone is minding his business now.
Please, overlook typo. This new Chrome is not easy using to comment
You're just entitled. Did your cousins use your head? Work and achieve too,stop being entitled
Deletei see a huge entitlement here , that's why its good to help and not expect anything in return,
Delete"did I send you there?"... good response! Hehehe
DeleteNoone owes you ANYTHING. Move on . Leave your relatives alone. Move on.
DeleteYour dad may have been kind to them but as humans they are not under ANY obligation to show you kindness.
Move on and let God be your hope
@22:38, did we both read about the help his/her Dad rendered to the cousins? Did we read about his/her own effirts at helping tone of the cousins.
DeleteWhat some of us call black tax and entitlement mindset today is the real African insurance. Sub-saharan africans help relatives who in turn are expected to help other relatives or the helper's children.
This is what happens when a man/woman spends his resources on his/her extended family instead of saving enough funds to sponsor his/her own kids when they are of age. It mostly happens when those cousins are older than the person's kids. From what I've seen, those cousins and nephews/nieces never reciprocate and will even feel that they've finally surpassed you guys. See how his ish was that he was not served on the dining table. Petty things you had no clue they have against you even while collecting the help you give them. Your father could have saved that money to sponsor his own kids abroad instead of hoping that your cousins will go first and help you guys come over. My dad was on this table but we thank God for coming through for us.
DeleteBaltika, kindness may not necessarily come from one's relatives and when we do things for people, we should do it wholeheartedly and expect reward from God not the ones we helped. Your father's kindness had a selfish motive but you will reap the reward but not necessarily from those people but anywhere in the universe.
DeleteDon't mind anon,don't worry you all will make it.
DeleteYou dad should have cut them off before he died
Great lesson to learn from the story. Help people because you want to and not so they would return the favour later. Often times, people do 'forget' or fill burdened to repay the debt
DeleteYou guys talking about entitlement are just as porous in the brain as these selfish cousins. They were not entitled when land was sold, given them money and they complained much was not given to them? You did not see food was not served him in the dining table?Your numskull heads did not read where it was written that they did not attend my dad's burial? Or was my dad entitled. Did your low level of comprehension miss where it was written we all are adults now and have moved on?
DeleteMy siblings and I are even doing better than the ungrateful cousins.
Madam one liner, I knew you would be here and like always, you did not disappoint with your one line of attack devoid of intelligence, understanding and cheap popularity. Your foolishness and madness is gathering momentum and this time, your ugly face will be exposed. Misplacing notoriety for popularity. When you have poor upbringing and your skin color with ugly face guarantees your next meal from men, you think everyone will be ungrateful as you?
Just time.
We all have moved on. These happened long ago. My dad never helped for his children to be helped. He did what he did to help raise families from poverty. Not only his core relatives did he help.
Issue of entitlement should not come up here. Talk about it, you appear ungrateful, that is if you read the post to the end.
Lollll, as usual, you are speaking from several holes in your mouth.
Delete"We all have moved on. These happened long ago. My dad never helped for his children to be helped. He did what he did to help raise families from poverty. Not only his core relatives did he help."
If this is true, then there should have been no expectation.
When there is no expectation, there is no disappointment.
Take the lessons this is trying to teach you or remain bitter.
Salah.
Yes...my ex (former) cousin. She and her husband had a hand in my first marriage that crashed. Thank God for second chance.
ReplyDeleteNo
ReplyDeleteAnons 22:38 part of the woke generation. You sound like my cousins, ungrateful, selfish and wicked. If my dad centered only on us, will they be where they are today? Plus the one I staked my family name to help find a wife? You're using same line you read from this blog exposing your lazy self in not reading a post to the end to judge. Folks like you make helping others difficult. It's obvious you're part of the ungrateful percentage that upon being asked to pay back money borrowed, they ask " is it because of this small money?" Read. Comprehend. Not a must to comment.
ReplyDeleteBaltika don't mind them they are truly ungrateful and wicked people who don't know how to be good to people that once help them because of their selfish reasons
DeleteBaltika some of these people your dad helped may have been:
Delete1. Envious of his immediate family ( your dad's children)
2. Have borne a huge dose of resentment towards all of you for reasons best known to them
3. The ones that relocated may not have dealt with the Jealousy, envy and resentment years after even after their status changed.
Avoid those people. Be glad they haven't hurt you. They may be relatives but the heart of man is extremely wicked. RUN
Well said Anon 9:31. Her dad had good intentions but most people are simply ungrateful and greedy.
DeleteNo
ReplyDeleteMy mother. She believes that I am in competition with her finally. I found that that she was the one spreading bad rumours about me. I had to cut her off when I realized where the problems have been coming from. Now I live a more decent life.
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteEvil and wicked miserable siblings
My mother
ReplyDelete