STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ANGRY SISTER
I'm not happy .
So I'm pregnant with my 4th child and my elder sister is busy vexing for me.
We did family planning and it failed after 5yrs and I even wanted to abort but my husband refused. Not like we beg her money or anything like that. Just that she send me like 10k like once a year when i tell her I'm broke. Not every year oo.
She just got angry and started giving me attitude since she found out. I tried not to let it bother me, but being who I am, its getting to me. Like does she have the right to be angry when we dont depend on her for food, education or other things. We're not rich but we dont beg to take care of our children.
I dont know what to do!
Why in heavens name would she be angry that you are pregnant with your 4th child? Does she have kids of her own? She might be jealous.
Why dont you have an one on one with her to find out why she is behaving the way she is? I dont know how to advice you on this since you dont know..
Is she TTC?
Have a one on one with her
Talk with her and know what the issue is. I have friends like that though. Maybe she feels you have been careless
ReplyDeleteZendaya
I believe there is more to this issue. Lol
DeleteI have 4 children, and at a point my family were angry that i had plenty kids. All my siblings have from 1 to 3. I'm the only one with 4,and the funny thing is that the Last 2,are twins oh. I no send them,did not ask anyone for oney,instead i give when I'm asked. Today my last are 13yrs old. So poster,ignore them and fac your front.
DeleteI too will honestly be angry with my younger one if I see them birthing a 4th child in this present day economy especially if they are not rich as is obvious from poster's comment. 10k gift will not be sent to a wealthy person.
DeletePoster your sister is probably acting out her concern, not that she's jealous but because she feels you can do better than adding another child to your family with the way things are.
Let her know you didn't plan to have this child, failed contraceptive ish.
If she's still angry after that, then that's on her.
Why don't you ask her? You bring matter here? Find out why she is not happy and then take your stand. No be everything be vex and getting on you. Congrats on your next level baby. The baby will be a joy to your family
ReplyDeleteAbeg poster don't let her words get to you since she's not catering for your family. I believe she's just being angry later she will adjust. I wish you smooth delivery
ReplyDeleteStele you’re going too far na. She told you lady is mad at them for having more kids. Which one is she TTC again. Your sis knows you’re barely handling 3. She probably had great dreams for you and now it seems all you’re doing is giving birth and not getting financially stable or pursuing your career goals as she saw when you guys were growing up together
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly. Not everything is witchcraft and hatred, some comes from a place of love and care. I did same to my brother who was busy pumping kids and refused any form of family planning sighting that God gives children, yet he has no reasonable source of livelihood to support his family.
DeleteI bet the poster's sister is only looking out for her. Watch out as she goes for baby number 5 with another excuse. Poster, you should be thankful to your sis who's in your life to tell you how it is without mincing words. We all need someone like that to reset our brain sometimes.
Anyways, the deed is done and you both need to move forward. Don't worry about her for now cos she will definitely come by. Focus on your immediate family and your pregnancy. Quit thinking too much about the situation so it doesn't affect you or your unborn baby. Just be careful after this one cos...journey still far o. I pray Jesus gives you the direction you currently need to focus your energy on better things.
Love and light to you and your sis.
Exactly. In Nigeria of today ha people r having 4 kids hmnnnn
DeleteGbam! She feels u have no reason bringing more kids in your present economic situation. I know of one of my sister's who would absolutely act like ur sister. She is not angry but disappointed u are not making smart decisions.
DeleteThank you!! Same thing I shared, I will be very angry at any sibling of mine who is barely getting by in this present day giving birth to a 4th child, suffer no dey taya them ni?
DeleteFrom all indication, you prolly called for help whenever she sent you the 10k, so, you guys are still struggling! Now with the 4th kid on the way? By the way, who gives birth to 4 kids in this days? You and your husband no get plans for those kids you guys are popping obviously. Am sure your kids attends public schools and very certain you will still get pregnant again. It's ur life sha...but just know if you fail to plan your life, it will turn around and bite you in the ass tomorrow.
DeleteShe's just being considerate but over doing it. Don't worry she'll get over the shock
ReplyDeleteIs your giving birth to a fourth child really the problem or is there something else behind all of that anger?
ReplyDeleteHope she isn't envious of you?
She is thinking that sooner than later, the request for 10K may become 20k or, in the tilting economy, 30k.
DeleteLol
DeleteYeah right @Anon
Wahala for who no get money for this country.
DeleteSome siblings eh, no be moimoi. May God give us the wisdom to handle siblings issues. If you talk to her and she still dey drag body, Facefront and ignore her. She will come round.
ReplyDeleteYou did not tell us if you have been giving birth through CS
ReplyDeleteCommunication is key. Seems both of you are close for you to notice she is giving you attitude. Everything is not quarelling or jealousy. Some are geniniuely looking out for your well being. She might even been giving you attitude on things not related to your pregnancy. Speak with her. Good family/siblings should not be traded for anything
What does CS have to do with anything?
DeleteDon't have any one on one talk with her. Why would she be angry that you are pregnant with your 4th child? Is she mad at you because you are about to have more kids than her? How many children does she have?
ReplyDeleteIgnore her!
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI believe before a concrete advice can be given, Stella's questions needed to be answered truthfully. Because there must a background to her anger.
Nevertheless, since this 'attitude' wasn't there before now, seek peace. You need the positive drive now more than worrying about what other people think nor make of your present situation. As long as your husband is in support of the pregnancy and like you inferred you're both capable of taking care of this new beautiful responsibility, you need to focus on your nuclear family and plan well ahead.
May God give you the wisdom and grace to navigate this distraction.
It's nothing .
ReplyDeleteSome siblings can be overthinkers and take things too serious.
She probably feels you and your hubby should have invested your resources into looking after your 3 children instead of adding one more.
Just ignore her and she will get over it.
But make sure you and your husband have plans to better your life and finances.
Sometimes I'm scared of things I see. I grew up having aunts and uncles who gave birth to plenty children and couldn't take care of them, some of these children lived with us and were trained by my late father and my mom. And some still live with my mom. Their parents have nothing and can barely feed them.
I never want to and never will be that person and I don't even wish my enemy that kind thing.
So I'm always looking & thanking God my siblings that are married with kids are living a better life and I'm like omo I must do even better, else there's no need bringing kids into a world where you can't provide for them.
Your sister is only looking out for you,she has every right to be angry because you ask her for money occasionally,meaning you're broke and shouldn't still be birthing.
ReplyDeleteTo be very honest,if I were your elder sister,I would let you be until you come begging for another 10k.
Congratulations to you.
You said it all
DeleteBut according to her, she did everything right. She didn’t intentionally get pregnant and if her husband is not pro abortion, what can they do?
DeleteI believe her sister should have calmed down after she realized it was not a planned pregnancy
Eka I’m not sure she explained to her
DeleteHer opinion is valid,since she is your elder sister,just explain to her,that the family planning failed.Everything should not be quarrel.
ReplyDeleteTo me, she only has right to be angry about your pregnancy if you're dependent on her or any member of your family for survival. Otherwise why is she giving you attitude over it? Please face your family and leave her for now, she'll come around in due time.
ReplyDeleteNo good sister wants her sister to suffer
DeleteYou can’t always just face front
I can’t Sha lol
I’ve told my sister your business is my business from now till the end of time 😝
16:34,
DeleteBut she didn't say she's suffering naw.
Exactly, my sister's business is also mine. Family is everything!
DeleteA customer came to me one day lamenting how careless her sister is with birthing children, that she has mostly female and a male, now the husband is forcing her to add another male as per na her hand e dey.
ReplyDeleteShe has tried and had miscarriages, each miscarriage, she is the one that will pay her hospital bills,while the hubby will say he doesn't have money. She pays part of her children fees, even feeding too.
The last miscarriage she warned her sister not to involve her again.
Few months later, she took in, husband beat her one night, she started bleeding, the man hid her phone, the eldest daughter had to wake a neighbor up to borrow phone and called this my customer, she rushed to take her sister to hospital and told the doctor she should not go until family planning is carried out on her.
She too has 3 girls and a boy . She is working hard to raise them well.
Now her sister is angry is it because she is helping her, she wants to take a major decision for her?.
The customer broke down in tears in my shop that day. Me kuma was speechless.
Children comes from God.since ur sister is angry with you @this moment, just let her be for now.later, you can discuss and resolve issues with her.pray for her also if she is Ttcing.
ReplyDeleteChildren come from egg and sperm collabo
Delete@ Northern Guy, seems poor people do this the more. Check out struggling barely educated black Americans, the neighbourhoods are full of young girls getting pregnant every year and birthing kids for different fathers, they can't even arrange their lives, talk more of the kids.
DeleteLiving on welfare and stressing the social system and tax payers with catering for them and their kids. Poster, I'm sure I will react like your sister, abeg, do family planning that will work after this one.
Talk to her, dnt assume, let her tell u why she is giving u attitude, u might be shocked to find out that it's a different thing altogether
ReplyDeleteShe does have a right to be angry with you if she feels that you are being irresponsible and breeding children carelessly. She may be overdoing it shaa.
ReplyDeleteJust have heart to heart discussion with her so that she will understand better.
I wish you safe delivery. All the best.
Yes it happens, everyone have that part of jealousy inbuilt......they are always wishing the good news is for them,and when is not for them it beings jealousy towards their rivals.thats why all good news shouldn't be broadcast.
ReplyDeleteEverything is not jealousy ,what if she is genuinely worried for you based on your health or financially? Things are hard now and she must have been shocked knowing you are about to have a baby,she might just be considering the financial side of it and nothing more. Call her up, and try to have a genuine conversation with her,ask her why she has bin cold to you lately,then explain to her that family planning failed.She will come around soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, not everything is attitude... All these women today small thing "...giving me attitude..." Thank God humans are not incharge of oxygen or else you will see " dear Stella , yesterday I removed all the oxygen in my sister's room because she was giving me attitude because... Am I wrong".... Make Una calm down if you are given attitude speaks on the issue open up and hear their stand... Ndi attitude collectors
DeleteYour sister is vexing because you have a 4th child? Abeg go n siddon.You are the problem! You're the enemy! and you're jealous of her because she has money! Giving unnecessary excuses and painting her sister bad. Awon enemy in disguise.
ReplyDeleteShe's mad at you for birthing many kids when you'd occasionally ask for money. Who still births 4 children in this economy?
ReplyDeleteAnyways, just ignore her, she'll get over it.
PS: The thought of you asking her for money in the future after birthing the fourth child is cracking me up.
You probably know why she is angry with you but your need for public affirmation of your decision overrides your sense of decency. You know why your sister is disappointed at you bringing more children than you can cater for into the world, instead of trying to get a job, further your career or focus on getting a skill. It's easier to reproduce than do any of those. Some of you end up being liabilities to your children.
ReplyDeleteSerious liability o soon the first child will become the breadwinner for two careless parents. If I’m your sister I won’t say anything till you come asking me for money the slap I’ll land you ehhn if you see dick you go run
DeleteHahaha, 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣
DeleteAnon 19:17, shebi you sha know you cannot make heaven😂😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Anybody wey promise you heaven dey deceive you. Wordahel!! This is savagery 401. If to say Stellz dey post savage comments, na you for be #1 this month😫
DeleteHahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣 anon 19:17, I swear I’ve been waiting for this type of comment. You’re so funny. Loveeee your comment! I’ll even join you slap the other face. Imagine the fcukery and the audacity of sending this chronicle saying she doesn’t know why her sister is angry. My only concern is your 4 children in this economy. Lord have mercy.
Delete@20:12, anon 19:17 will make heaven in Jesus name! Amen. Stop your stupid joke about someone not making heaven. It’s not funny at all. Just stop ✋🏾
I don't think that your sis is envious. When my youngest sis was pregnant with her 3rd child, I was like why get pregnant again when you can barely feed two kids? I felt that she should be deliberate about her life, not giving room for 'mistake pregnancy '..
ReplyDeletePoster , that your sis is showing concern doesn't make her envious of you whether she has a child or not. Be careful how you handle this issue cos your reaction may just make her wash her hands off your case . On the long run, you'd wish that you handled it in a better way.
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DeleteStella it's not jealousy anything, I was raving MAD at my brother when he got his girlfriend pregnant 2 years ago and acted like it was no big deal, giving that talk of children are from God, 'you dey crase ni'. You that can barely feed yourself will now start hustling for 3 persons at a time, I didn't speak with him for weeks.
ReplyDeletePoster's sister's anger is not from a place of jealousy, but more because she dey fall hand and not being ambitious about her life/career/or whatever.
I bet she will be less angry if she knows this pregnancy was not intentional but from failed contraception.
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DeletePoster you know you're lying. Your sister is angry because you depend on her and you know it. She knows that very soon you'll start disturbing her about baby food and diapers so why won't she be angry.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why poor people like gbenshing.Instead of putting that energy in bettering your life no every night na ah oh hader harder.
It is getting to you because she's your meal ticket. Pls tell your hubby to work harder to provide for you and your unborn baby so you won't disturb your sister.
Your sister is expressing anger from a state of genuine concern for your welfare. That's family right there. All you need do is have a discussion with her to let her understand that it happened unplanned. Even some husband and wife dey vex for each other if unplanned pregnancy happens!
ReplyDelete👌❤
DeletePoster be calming down here please, do not think your sister is jealous or a bitter soul. Is possible after your last child you both spoke about you using family planning but she seeing that you are pregnant again makes her angry.
ReplyDeleteShe is angry because she is highly disappointed in you, is possible when you are pregnant alot happens to you and she is fully involved an felt putt for you. Talk to her about her reaction and maybe you should explain that this pregnancy wasn't plan but since it came you cannot remove it
Her reaction is you should hustle to take care of the ones you have than adding more, while you leave giving birth to those who doesn't have up to 3.
Once you tell them.the truth or distance yourself from their bullcrap, boom! You dey jealous them🙄. Inukwa, her sister wey dey roger her lickle lickle
Deletechange whenever SAPA show don dey envy her. Hian!
Poster, I love your sister's straight-up attitude. She is not a pretender and she obviously loves you. I bet she'll be the first person by your side with ofe nsala once baby arrives but she's letting you know you should try harder to avoid another unplanned pregnancy in the future. Dashing you even 100k per year is not the problem. What about the quality of life the children deserve? Biko, make up with your big sis jare and may your financial power receive upliftment before baby arrives.
Jealous ke, I told my younger sister not to get pregnant again after her fourth child. Her husband is stingy and she is busy birthing kids and complaining. She got with her 5 child and didn't tell me till she gave birth and I was so disappointed.
ReplyDeleteWhat annoys me with women who birth a lot of kids is that they don’t train dem properly, bathe them daily feed them and give them basic life at least instead na from hand to mouth or go live with someone at a young age
ReplyDeleteTalk with her and know why she's acting the way she is. You'd not know if you don't ask
ReplyDeleteI understand your sister quite well. my friend too has 3 kids already. Throughout this year, she hasn't visited, and I ran into her at a market selling mangoes under rain with big belly, I was stunned, I couldn't say congrats, she too understood why I was looking shocked. This is someone with BP issues and all pregnancies were high risk. I can't count the number of debts I've written off for her. I am very disappointed anyway. I stopped at 3 kids and tied my tubes. Can't deal.
ReplyDeleteThis poster reminds me of my younger sister who got pregnant with her last child after I had all of mine. I asked her why she did because everything from rice to beans to money for their rent was from me. She had developed a lifestyle not based on her own income or that of her husband but on mine. She told me it was not my business to determine the number of their kids after all I had more kids than her. That was over two decades ago. The money I have spent on her & her family is enough to buy a house in Lekki. Yet it was never enough. She literally pulled me down financially and was ungrateful when I said I had enough a few years ago. This poster is the type of relative everyone should pray not to have. They make economic decisions for you to pick the bills without any input in the decision making. I stopped funding my own sister’s lifestyle after over two decades but she is pursuing me with jazz! I am not on SM partly because of her jealousy, monitoring me & my family’s lifestyle. I got jobs for her paid kids school fees but she refused to pull herself up preferring endless handouts from me. She forgot I had dreams and desires for my own children.
ReplyDeletePoster make all your decisions but remember it’s wicked to make decisions involving money that will be paid by another person. If she is giving you N10k per year (something tells me it’s much more) then you are not independent of her income and like me over twenty years ago, she has observed you as someone that will become a burden on her down the road. Have 10 kids if you wish but prove her concerns unfounded by being completely independent of her money.
Having relatives is not a social welfare program or a retirement plan and the earlier people it realize the better their decision making. Pressure the inept government for that. How many kids do you think affluent westerners have in those big McMansions? Yet we act like it’s some medal to birth and bill someone else! Are you writing in to justify whatever negative sentiment you harbor against her knowing the reason she has “reservations” (attitude?) about your choices? God is watching. If you are capable of making such decisions then stop taking even one Naira from her.
When will our people copy the positives of westerners which is never to be entitled or base your lifestyle on that of your richer sibling? Contentment. It’s not all about photoshopped pics on SM. Let’s copy the positives from other societies. Oprah’s only half sister works, the not so prestigious type of job. Her dad was a barber till close to his death. She bought a house for her & sent her to school. One house while Oprah has several houses in the most affluent suburbs yet she is so full of gratitude. If it were a Nigerian sibling entitlement would have caused resentment and hatred. If you & your man cannot get either a hysterectomy or vasectomy done after this it’s on you. Your sister has her own problems and her life. Get yours!
Gbam Gbamer Gbamest! Clapping my my hands! 👏🏾 👏🏾 🙌🏾 You nailed it! Thank you for this comment. Ungrateful leaches yet they won’t work hard to make their own money!
DeletePoster I so understand your sister she is genuinely concern for you and loves you. Imagine getting pregnant after having three children. The stress of managing them. She mustn't be feeding you to tell you the truth. I beg love yourself small. Who goes through the stress of pregnancy, delivery and the rearing of children. Poster it's you. Your husband supports here and there and the bulk of the work depends on you. Since if I were to be your sister and after giving you advice you decide to publish it I will give you space
ReplyDeleteThat was why I was advising someone that can barely feed not to birth another child again and she open mouth tell me she is already pregnant for her 6th child. I just close my mouth. Some people get covenant with sapa.
ReplyDelete