Doctor Freaks Journal - Memory Lane....

I love cooking so much and if you ask me, I will tell you that "I sabir cook well-well." 

As I was preparing lunch for my kids after school yesterday, the first asked me a question out of curiosity, 'dad, how come you know how to cook very well, who taught you?' The answer to his question is two-fold: one is innocuous; the other is naughty.

In answering the lad's innocent question, I had to make some hard choices. Should I be economical with the truth, or should I just say the truth and shame the devil? The latter side of me won the battle, bravo!


Being the last born of my parents, I was naturally close to my mother and her culinary skills rubbed off on me. Mama (as she was fondly called) could cook 'sha!' "Before, who go talk say him mama soup no sweet?" Then, secondly, I had the privilege of attending a boarding school. 

The boarding system was originally designed to mold boys into independent men right? What people like us received was a total package afterall. I was received by the sweetest seniors in my early years and inducted into the Cookery Hall of Fame as early as my JSS 2 days! Initially, the seniors encouraged me to just contribute raw rice and or beans and go to sleep, rest assured that I would be woken up in the middle of the night to partake of the feast.


Fast forward, two of my accomplices graduated from that school and naturally bequeathed their cooking stoves to me and that was how my ministry relocated to the permanent site. I started to lease out my stoves and received commissions in form of cooked food in return and business continued to flourish. Occasionally, I demonstrated my culinary skills by cooking my own delicacies.

 In all of this, I was very fortunate as I can't remember ever getting caught by the school authorities, save for one naughty senior who was fond of timing my cooking. He would walk down from his room which was about 300 meters away and lift my entire pot, threatening to report me to the school warden. Then we would settle for negotiation, Senior P would take his own share and walk away thereafter.

 Interestingly, he was a year my senior but he was dreaded by all, including his seniors and even some teachers due to his size. Coincidentally, we are from the same local government, we are family friends, he was just a friendly bully. He protected me all through. Today, he is policeman in Europe and we live in the same county. Brothers for life.


I forgot to add that I got married at 35, meaning that I lived alone for over 17 years before walking down the aisle finally.


By the time I was done with my story, the kids wished I could send them to boarding schools so they could play some pranks too. At that point, I had to quickly add that what I was doing was immoral and illegal and that I've only chosen to make a confession before them, not to encourage them to engage in immoral or illegal acts, but to encourage them to always say the truth, no matter the situation.