Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Thursday, January 26, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Dear Stella....

I am 47 years work but educated, no boyfriend but beautiful, no child cos i am single and cannot cater for a child alone, no s#x cos i was looking for the perfect man in case it ends up in pregnancy... I am desperate to change my Narrative!

Motivational speakers make it all look so easy, they feed you with lies to give you hope but the year roll by and nothing happens, these people do not practice what they preach!

I believed in them and always have until i looked at the clock ticking, how come all their motivations cannot stop the ticking clock while i wait?How come thier motivation can send me alert to ease the hunger pangs? How come their motivations do not remove the shame i feel being unaccomplished at this age? They have no solution and only become motivational because the going is good for them... I have never seen a broke man being a motivational speaker...

47 years old and no hope for a better tomorrow... No hope for a partner or husband, no hope for a child because i have started slowly walking into menopause with all the signs evident!

Motivational speakers are liars Stella!!!

When i say i feel ending it all, all i will hear is preaching not to give up and to hold unto Gods word and not let go!!!..... My tears are unending and i want to put an end to it.
If nothing happens this year, then i am gone and no i will not take sniper or jump off 3rd mainland Bridge, there are other quite ways to exit.

I know the comments will encourage me not to give up but that is not what i want, i want solutions so that these people can stop laughing at me!

Oh God why? what is my purpose here? WHAT!!!!

Thank you Stella.. 


  1. I feel your pain ,this life is a mystery,we can't understand why things happens to people and it seem God is looking the other way,47yrs no achievement ?I just pray help from above comes for you in Jesus name

    1. There are times life is not fair but we can't question God. May God come through for you this year.

    2. Please try and get a job
      That’s the most important on the list and while building yourself line will fall in pleasant places
      I am a procrastinator ( working on it) so I know it’s not easy especially when you are not motivated, but please try, try and get a job no matter how small
      It will keep you busy and exposed to meeting more people
      Also attend more church programs and activities

      God go do am

      Push up (original)

    3. Poster na wa, when I started reading, it was like are you me?
      Then I remebered I itroduced some relatives to this blog and she followed sdk and luvved it to the extent that she felt i was a popular BV!

      Seeing my life struggle in a blog chronicle amazes me, like, so its not only me that is in this situation that feels this way. So another person feels it too? I have researched different ways to end this life to stop being a burden and failure...

      The feeling has reduced, but it comes and goes.

      You will get a couple of positive tips & encouragements here and here is mine: Please indulge in what lifts your mood (mine is music). It relieves and makes ones head clearer to face the day.

      Let me read other comments.

      Shine Bright

    4. Sis; get a job. If you can get any job that pays at least 50k; you can cater for a child.

      Meet a guy and discuss with him

      Once you get busy with your child and work; your joy will return and love will come in your JOY!

      Love can't meet you now because your energy is exhuding sad and frustration

      God is your strength!

    5. Shine bright and Poster , I don’t know what to say to you guys, than to tell you to find yourselves. I am in my late 40s, not married, no children πŸ‘§ yet, and I have never been happier in my life than this time. Men want to get to know me, but I don’t have that time again, it has passed!
      You know why? I have the Holy Ghost as my companion. Although I have lived across continents, and I have had my fair share of life! I made money early, did everything early, but marriage, after deliverance upon deliverance for Spirit husband matter! I stopped entertaining any rubbish prophecy, as I am
      a DIY Christian!!!
      I just stopped bothering after I lost my parents. I read a lot, especially my Bible! I am used to my personal space! I can be in my house for a month without stepping out sometimes, my security in my former house will call my phone that I am okay;because a l work for myself, and I have no need to be everywhere. I attend Church meetings in person and online! Life is sweet when you have Christ! Most of all I thank God for GO Olukoya and Pastor Chris Oyakhilome! Follow their resources online! Then cut off toxic people from your life, they are like poison. even if they are family, pastors , friends or foes. Find what you like doing, what you are passionate about! If is to open YouTube channel and talk about your passion, people will watch, even if you talk nonsense there, people will still watch πŸ˜€.
      I am a high level professional, so I YouTube business model is not for me, I am not on instagram and tik tok, you can use those platforms if you are on them to talk about your passion.
      As a single, anywhere I am in the world, I don’t allow guys visit me in my apartment, I hate it! We can meet at the mall or restaurants, but my personal space is my personal space.
      I have lovely nieces and nephews who love me to bits and friends whose kids love me as well! Most of all I have brothers, who challenge me , to be the best version of myself and never talk down at me , but appreciate my confidence to be on my own.most of all, I put myself first, and stay far from evil friends who have bad marriages , but want to put it in your face that they are married! My circle is tight! I am briefly in Nigeria for my projects! I only have 2 solid friends here! My friends with good marriages are like my sisters, they know everyone should not marry, because is not by force! To cap it all, the owner of KFC found it at 67. I have too much on my plate to even be bothered about marrying! To cap it all, I have my pension plan! I am planning a California style ranch for my retirement in Nigeria πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬, if I decide to retire here or anywhere, I find myself in the world.
      Attend church and stay away from Nigeria πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ Pastors, most of them have narcissistic tendencies! Do not tell people your problems, tell it to God and most of all, do not go for counseling, most Nigeria pastors will discuss your matter, they lack discretion! Talk to the Holy Ghost always, and have a two way conversation with God and stay thankful, giving thanks to God always and just remind yourself that there are widowed women out there, with children, no husband, so who is standing for them is God! And most of all you are the bride of Christ!!! Please never let suicide be an option Fred Amaya’s elder Sis married at 64! I have friends who married early and are in the grave!
      When I am away, nobody is interested about marital status, is only in Nigeria they rub in your face, because most of them are miserable in their marriages and guess what misery loves company. Stay well and Shalom!!!

    6. Stop lamenting and start looking for a care giver job abroad. If you get it, look for an oyibo man and marry.

      My elder sis is almost 50yrs and I believe God will do it for her.

      God's time is the best.

    7. Anon 20.23 I love how you didn’t bury your head in the sand but made the best of your life. God’s grace upon you always. My only wish is for you to have a child God will add 50+ yrs to your life with your child πŸ™

    8. Anon 20:23 what a coincidence as we are in 2023. Thanks for your words though I'm not the poster but I'm in an almost similar situation and the difference is I don't want to die. I love life. Though it could be lonely at times , I keep myself busy reading, listening to music n current affairs. I used to attend church but due to some circumstances I stopped and resumed online church again like covid era.. I wish I can meet you. I just wish. You are a very sound motivator. I just want to say thank you for the write up and bless you Stella for your blog.
      Poster please take what anon 2023 says n know that God got you.. As for me I know I'm under the covering of Almighty God. I dont keep friends like that cos they all want to know my business not in a good way but for what to gossip with. Even some family people I'm cutting them all off this new year if they still in my business for gossip. Take it easy poster it's going to be okay.

  2. Nobody is the cause of your situation but you. A husband or a child doesn't remove people from misery or shame. Getting married shouldn't be the only reason why you are living.
    Madam, own up to your responsibility, go out there, work, develop yourself, live your live to the fullest and be happy. You should be thinking of how you can help yourself and humanity than thinking of getting married to a man who might even make life more unbearable. If you really want a child, go get pregnant or adopt one. You must not be married to have a child.

    1. You saved me the stress of typing

      Is this aunty kidding us right now?

      Blaming others but yourself, just checkout your mindset at 47? Sounding so entitled like the world should hand you all your desires on a platter.

      You think you are the only one who got it bad?

      Change your mentality right now

    2. You have said it all, she better take this advice or leave it

  3. you have no excuse of not living life at your own term,if you don’t have a job,create one yourself,even in the house of the richest men the mums also assist in the upbringing of the kid,all responsibilities can’t be left for the father a lady you should find something doing for yourself no matter how little,you don’t have to be educated to be a hustler.

  4. My question is what are you doing with your life? Forget the husband talk first. What are you doing?

    Are you working or running a business?
    Or you are waiting for a man that is rich to come take care of you.
    If you are financially ok then focus your energy on that and also stop looking for rich men

    1. Poster leave motivational speakers to do their work! I did not see in your write-up how you have owned responsibilities or making attempt to change the status quo..Even if you listen to them, have you practicalized any of them and see if it works and fails...

      The person to blame is the one in the mirror...Why have you not learnt a skill or trade...The truth is happiness is from within...A husband or child will not activate your happiness nor boost it if you cannot own your happiness...No one will do it...

      You need to place yourself out there to be noticed, make friends, smile and go out for events...Just enjoy yourself without thinking this is where you will find your ''life partner''.....At 47, you have a lot to unlearn, uplearn and relearn...

      All the best..

  5. Believe in yourself, before you look at motigbensional speakers. Access your self by yourself and know your next move. They would say wait, the right man would come: irΓΆ ΓΆ! It doesn't work for everyone.

    1. Na real motigbensional this girl you know go kill person.

  6. My dear I want to ask some questions

    Are there people you know who are worse than you at 47? Pls don't be in a haste to answer. Do your research and get back to me.

    Have you ever asked God for your purpose on earth? What you were born for and are you fulfilling it? Or do you think being married, having children and money is what life is all about or that's fulfilling purpose.?
    Have you seen the disabled, maimed, especially those without limbs and how many of them have changed their lives and thousand of others with their stories?

    Have you had food today, oh you had data to even come online. Do you know people sleep under bridges and by road sides?

    Have you seen how many lives have been destroyed in wrong marriages and many untimely death because of one. Would you have preferred that so you can be called married?

    What about those that served God faithfully from their youths, even married as virgins , still serving God and they are over 40 years, still ttcing. You sure must be better than them.

    Alot of people with cancer, terminal illness. Some of them loved God so much and it still befell them. You must be more holy.

    My darling, it's only an ungrateful and selfish person that will commit suicide

    If you ain't born again, I advise you do so. Give your all to God and His service. So that when death comes, you will have salvation and rewards in heaven.

    Also, joy and fulfilment comes from helping others, putting smiles on their faces.
    Start searching for people to help. Go to orphanages. Sit with them and talk. You must not bring anything. Volunteer as their guidance or teacher.

    Go to hospital, visit the sick and pray for them.

    In few months, come back let's talk.

    ( I hope this is not motivational speech ooo. Poster. Cos the I don not intend to motivate you))

    1. This!!!! No cap.
      Poster read this over and over again.
      First and foremost, find happiness and purpose in this your situationship.
      There are Nuns who are living their best lives you know? Plenty people who had money, got married early and still died in their prime.
      You are not here to occupy space, your life matters and is worth something, find it!

  7. "I have never seen a broke man being a motivational speaker..."

    Hold up!!
    Wachu saying famπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    The first motivational speaker I know was a fvckin broke niggah.. but na packaging him dey use.. na them be the real fake it till you make it crew..

    So the guy go borrow him friend fine car, him friend go come drive am go the venue, as them reach the place of the talk wey he climb podium, him go come form say him forget him laptop for car, him go come order him friend (pretending to be his driver) to go bring the bring his laptop from his car..

    All na packaging, him don dake Una believe say him get car, you go go peep the car come see say na sleek shii.. you have been deceived! Una go begin believe all the bobo wey him go drop about how he made his first millions and shii.. later him go sell book or drop another format to get money from Una..

    Corporate fraud ma nigg

    1. As in, I was surprised at that line. Apart from the successful pastors, every single motivational speaker is broke, the only difference between you and them is the confidence they have. Confidence is a great talent to have, so they believe in themselves, package themselves and hustle upwards. They have and sell hope that is all. The good thing is hope plus confidence often yields results anyway...

  8. Madam, not all motivational encouragers.

    Get the book the "Power of Positive Thinking" by Vincent Norman Peale.

    Another book or Motivational?


    When it was bleak for me. That book helped me. He even dealt with a case (a woman) like yours in the book.

    I will return.

  9. Motivational speakers are also humans and also hustling to make ends meet!

    What have you been doing all your adult life? Same things? Then try something else my sister.

    I finished school and no job so I went to learn a trade and now I’m independent working for myself and doing okay.

    I was looking to pastors for encouragement and motivation but noticed most of them have their own problems as humans. I remember I was feeling depressed one night and called a ‘daddy in the lord’ it was his wife that picked up the phone and warned me sternly never to call her husband any time past 7pm that he’s a married man! Hmmm this is someone that I literally sponsored their wedding cos I was brain washed to think God speak through him to me lol

    That night I wept and cried to my God myself, opened the Bible which I hardly did and was taken straight to Isaiah 41:10 that was how I knew God is always ready to speak to you himself if you seek him by yourself!

    Since then my life has never remained the same again.

    So please take care of yourself and know that your destiny is only in your hands with the help of God

  10. There’s nothing God cannot do but you also have to start by trying to do something.No matter how small the job is,try to do something.Pikin wey raise him hand na him papa go carry

  11. Wow. I don't think 47 is that old and there are many successful ppl who were late bloomers. Don't you see ppl with everything you hope for who have ended it all? It is not things, accomplishments or status that brings joy and peace of mind, many ppl have it all and they have neither joy nor peace.

    You did not say where you live, what you are educated in which would help me to figure out what practical guidance to provide. If you cannot have children now, you can still volunteer with orphans at the orphanage to bring them the love you want to give to a child. Since you are educated why not try to apply internationally for work. Many countries are open for professional immigrants and you sound like someone who could benefit from a change of location. I cannot help you with landing a relationship because being in a healthy and mutually fulfilling union requires both parties to be on the same wavelength. In your state of distress and hopelessness that you are currently in you will likely attract entities that will crush you down even more under the guise of love.

    God does not create anything that is not have value. Your life is meaningful and God is going to use it. What you are suffering through is simply a journey to the greater end that no one knows. At least the desert you are passing through will teach you gratitude, empathy and compassion for when you finally get the things you desire. You will not hurt or harm them and for that your husband and children will get a far better wife and mother than they would have if your blessings had come early in life.

    1. Una don start with this yeye deceitful talk. How will you say 47 is not old? A 47 yrs old is no kid. This is 2023, be fucking realistic!

    2. Shooter, it's still young enough to turn one's life around. I have a 60 yr old student that I am working with. She is completing her diploma now and she has an art exhibition going. 47 is not old. I have another 55 yr old student pursuing her engineering and she will be getting a $10,000 scholarship. I work with ppl like the poster everyday and they get on their feet. If she was in my program she would be singing a different tune.

    3. What you people should say is that age shouldn't be a barrier to success, but to come out boldly to say a 47,55, 60, 90 yrs old person is still young is pure deceit

    4. Shooter, I never said 47 was young, I said it was not that old. And it isn't. A 47yr old could easily still have 40-50 yrs of life left to live. She actually can still fulfill all of her desires, even a 60 yr old still can experience marriage, a good job and being a parent. Nothing under the sun is impossible, especially if someone is able bodied. Only with a disabled person would I set some cautionary expectations, but if they really want to do something I will work with them even if I have doubts. Right now one of my students has a lengthy criminal record but she wants to be a private investigator, I am not going to stop her, I think with her history she may be the perfect person for the job, so I will get her in the course. An able bodied person already has a lot of possibilties just by being able bodied. Add good physical and mental health and age is just a minor. Life is for the living and once you are alive you should never give up on yourself.

      The poster really can still have it all, but she first has to believe it.

  12. One day, I saw a beautiful lady on the street crawling with her belly. No legs but only arms. She was battered by the rain. All hope in her becoming a good person in future is gone. She begs to feed. Will she get married? No. She is grateful to God for keeping her alive.

    You are far better than that lady.

    Question is, you said you are beautiful, educated, and etc. How is your attitude towqrds people? When you were younger, were you selecting and saying: this is not my type while night was drawing near?

    Have you questioned your background, dig into your family lineage to be sure that no curse exists? Have you been praying sincerely and fervently to God? Have you gone for deliverance at MFM or any other deliverance supportive ministry?

  13. Dear Poster, I dont intent to motivate you, but i believe better things bigger than your expectations will get to you soon.

  14. Seems to be the person who made a comment to be linked to poster's 50years old brother some days back.

  15. Why don't you have a job or a small business /petty trading?

  16. Since you’ve decided you no longer need a perfect man, why not call up two or three people you know and ask them for an intro

    Also you write pretty well, so you can at least get a job in teaching or pick up a sewing machine and learn a skill or start offering cooking services of look online for a country currently looking for workers amd japa out of Nigeria.

    There are men looking for wives. Especially those that have children already are happy to marry a beautiful 47 year old that a younger guy that needs kids may be worried about marrying

    The good part with leaving Nigeria is they are countries looking for you
    Also when you’re not among Nigerians, your age doesn’t tend to matter as much.
    Good luck

  17. Life is about inspirations for who is ready to find one. Needless hitting you because no one knows what you're passing through but look around you and see there are folks you're a million times better than. Some here advising you, you're better off than them but they have found reason(s) to hang on. Only when one complains does it look he/she has the biggest problem. No.

    Don't quit, please. Those laughing at you, you might be better off than them but they just want to bully you and unfortunately, it's getting at you. I know if you're to choose between being married and being emotionally and physically abused or staying single, you might choose the former in your current state but remember, who nor go nor know.

    Your tomorrow will always be better. Do not make up the statistics of those that ended it all. We don't know how the other side is but being a Nigerian and going to hell fire is double tragedy.

    Hang on please, it will get better.

  18. Poster no kill yourself o.
    First of all, I can understand how it's like to be jobless, or have a job that under pays you.
    I have been there, all my life I had jobs that couldn't pay for a decent house, or transport and feeding.
    Yes it feels like being jobless, left that kinda job and became jobless cos its frustrating, and then I started a business, it looked as if I was cursed cos I'm not making profit as I'm supposed to. Then you look at family members for help, God sent a helper, I kept on with my business, we are going somewhere, God is faithful.
    Forget motivational preachers o.
    Life is hard already and I doesn't matter your qualifications or your efforts or beauty, sometimes bad things happen to people and we can't just explain why. But we keep having hope and putting in the work and keep trusting God for our fortune to change, for God to have mercy.
    Poster don't give up.
    Forget about children or man or menopause.
    You need to survive in this life atleast stay alive feed yourself good food, live in a decent room, feel good about yourself, Forget the unfortunate things happening, strive to be happy, pray always in thanksgiving.
    You just need to be strong.
    Killing yourself cannot be an option.
    God will show up soon.
    I love you Poster sending you hugs!

  19. What happened that you do not have a job, or business or learn any hand work. Do you think life has been juicy for all that visit SDK? we all are pushing it day by day as it comes. Stop looking for who to blame but look for solutions.

  20. The truth remains that most women don’t feel accomplished without a man, that is why you see “accomplished” women running off to become Ooni 3rd 4th wife. Some breaking marriages.
    Yesterday chronicle poster if you know you can’t stay without a man better give your husband conditions and stay in your marriage.

    Fan Emmanuel

  21. Life isn't juicy for everybody o yet we can't begin to threaten to kill ourselves. To what end na? If I begin download my own for you enh you'll know it's not be having husband, kids, work. Human needs are just insatiable, even if God gives you everything you're crying for now, you'll still not be satisfied, you'll be asking for more. Learn to be grateful and be contented with the little you have

  22. Uk is sponsoring health care workers now they need 133,000 in the industry. Apply pls

    1. what type of half baked information is this, you want people to get scammed? Give details or say nothing

    2. 17:58 the information is true
      You better believe it
      Uk Germany Australia Canada

    3. I was shocked to learn that the US was even recruiting overseas police officers. They have a program for teachers too. I recently read that there was such a great need for accountants everywhere, and the skilled trades is also very much in need. I don't like sending ppl into the abroad because culture shock creates its own problems and if you are depressed at home being depressed in a strange place could be worse. But there are so many opportunities that ppl can use these days. This poster could shake up her life and step out of her comfort zone and try somewhere new if she has the mental capacity to take it on.

  23. Poster, that you are alive and healthy means that there is hope for you. Those with hopeless cases are in the grave. Rise up from self- condemnation and self- degradation. Like Pastor Adeboye will always preach, a living dog is better than a dead lion. Join NSPPD and hear testimonies. A lady entered the year 2022 broke, jobless, boyfriendless, childless but ended that year married, got pregnant, birthed twin boys, got a thriving business! Amazing God will amaze you if you believe.

  24. You probably grew up using others opinion as bricks to build the wall of your life up to the point that you are planning killing yourself...


    All I can say is;

    Channel your energy to something else instead of wait to kill yourself by the end of this year.

  25. If you have data, go to Mixlr, YouTube, Facebook or Instagram and join NSPPD 7am Fire Prayers, Mondays to Fridays.
    You will surely testify cos the difference will be clear.

  26. Poster I can feel your pain and there really is no need for me to try and build your emotions up because I am sure you have heard it all so therefore let's plan instead.
    You said if nothing happens this year you will end it all so that means you have 11 months and one week to make something happen.
    First of all, nothing will magically happen, not even with prayers and fasting, you have to get up and make things happen.
    Are you overweight - start living a healthier way of life.
    Get a hobby that will take up your spare time, find friends online, join a dating website.
    Join local community groups for like minded people like yourself.
    Network online and in person, make new friends, not in church oooo please. You need friends that are open minded.
    Try to go to the cinema alone to watch a movie, honestly it is so self-liberating.
    You said you are educated, apply for jobs outside your comfort zone. It doesn't have to be in your chosen subject, try in different states than your current base.
    Stop the self pity and start making things happen for yourself, not every thing is rosey, in fact nothing is.

  27. You have been living your life, bases on what you hear from motivational speakers but you don't have any plans of your own. Imagine, hoe you let some people you don't know lead it on till you are 47 years of age ?! You have been looking for, tall, handsome, back, generous and God fearing man, while you turned everyone that has come your ay down because they didn't meet your standard. Im sure you have disappointed so many men while you were in your mid twenties and early thirties.
    You do this to yourself, dont blame anybody. I want to believe you are one of those many spinsters in Christ Embassy, thats waiting for a man like their pastor to come down from heaven to come and marry them.

  28. Madam so long you are healthy, u dont have a problem. Even if you are not too healthy but still alive, then u dont have a problem. Just try and get a job, this is not the time to be selective, just do anything that will put food on your table, forget shame. Look for a single guy that will be shining your congo and just be happy. Then in the future, u can look into adoption. No kee yourself o. If i tell u my own problem, u will cry o but i dont allow it get to me.

    1. Walai compared to me she no even get problem.

  29. i am really annoyed at this post. How can a 47 years old person be blaming motivational speaker. You actually have a problem called Laziness and you re not wise. quit your excuses and move on aunty

  30. Poster, hugs. Just wanna give you a warm deep hug. Breathe in, breathe out. It's ok. I know how you feel, I'm single as well, but that's not my identity. I am more than anything, a child of God and that's what keeps me sane in a crazy world. Embrace the Lord and make him head above everything and you'll have joy and fulfillment above anything the world has to offer. This world is not our home oh, so don't let it steal your joy. To all of us have been given a measure of blessings and of challenges. Be grateful and rejoice for your blessings and be faithful for the challenges. His grace is sufficient to carry us through. May God grant you hope and peace, Amen πŸ™πŸΎ

  31. Better not try anything foolish. Hang in there. You are not alone in this believe me. I am 45 no marriage no child and stuck with a teaching job I hate so much but I will never give up on hope. Cling to God there is nothing He cannot do. Don't serve God on your own terms. If it gives you comfort YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Abeg no dey think like that. P.s I am also broke and full of regrets but I will never give up on hope


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