Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Married With A Child(ren) From Someone Else And The Spouse Reaction

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Saturday, January 21, 2023

Saturday In House Gists - Married With A Child(ren) From Someone Else And The Spouse Reaction

 Are you married but have a child or children from someone else?



 How did your spouse accept the other kids living in the same house? Some Nigerian men will NEVER allow another mans children stay with them and this is the reason many women lie or deny their kids from way back..

Women are naturally forced to allow their step kids live with the Father...If you a are woman this has happened to, how do you cope with the responsibilities of a child that is not yours? Are you friends with this child or do you maltreat the child? does the mother of the child disturb you or is there peace?

Why do men refuse to allow the women they marry bring in other kids but think its OK to bring in kids they fathered out of matrimony? Some marriages end when the husband begins to treat the wife's other kids in a bad way or tries to get intimate with them...

Which of these situation did/do you find yourself in?

Let's gist!

62 comments:

  1. Make i focus on my pikin biko

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    1. You see that intimate part. Very disgusting....
      I know of someone who just got married to a mother of 4, dude is gonna fuck the living hell out of his wiv s daughters,yeah he is disgusting like that.
      The tot of my child being molested by my husband is highly unbearable,I will MURDER the man. I swear down

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    2. I have a 22 years old step-son. His mum left him with my husband and his parents when he was just 1 years old and she never returned for him. We heard she has married and has other kids but she has never come for her son . She and my husband were very young when they had him so he looks more like my husband's younger brother. I have not had any children for my husband yet as i am TTC.
      My step-son has never lived with us as his grandparents have been raising him. But he comes for visits with us. He is in the university now. I call her all the time to check up on him,dash him money,encourage him etc. We are more like friends. He could very well be my younger brother or nephew. I really care about him and he actually calls me my.
      Infact they call me mummy Shola in my husband family sometimes I forget it's me they are referring to sef. I am also raising my brothers 6 year old son and I love him to bits. His parents are not married and may never marry. I just pray they allow him leave with me till whenever cos I really love him . He calls me "mom" and people actually think he is my son cos I treat him just as if he were. So i am a step mom and a foster mom and I am loving it. I pray God makes me a mummy soon and make us all one big happy family

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    3. Amen to your prayers shola

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    4. God bless you Mummy Shola. Amen to your prayers

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  2. If husband had kids from previous relationship/marriage, the children must live with their mother or any relative but definitely not in my home, except their mother is late. Step mothers also go through a lot.

    My Aunty took care of her step kids when their mother left but when these boys grow up and made money, they built a house and took their mother to go and live in the house. They focused only on their mother that abandoned them. Thank God my Aunty has her own kids .
    The day they had family meeting, one said he owe no one anything, and my aunty had to remind him how she took care of all of them like her own children with no discrimination. She challenged them to mention any occasion she ever bought anything for her own children and bought a different thing for any of them. She also reminded them how all of them use to eat together in 1 plate and they had to apologize to her but still no much change. I will never train anybody’s child cos I’ve witnessed what they say in my place that “onye ozuzu zuchaa, onye nwe nwa nwe nwa.

    Fan Emmanuel

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    1. How could you or your aunt be so sure their mum abandoned them?
      Men would not allow their ex to have access to the kids or get their custody but feed the poor kids and other relatives lies about the ex. They will tell anyone who cares to listen that the woman abandoned her kids and that she prefers to sleep around with different men when married and after divorce. They will try to create enemity between the kids and their mum as a form of punishment to the woman. I have seen this happen several times.

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    2. I'm not sure it's healthy to use someone else's experience as a model. There are actually other step kids that treated their step mothers well.

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    3. onye ozuzu zuchaa, onye nwe nwa nwe nwa.
      what does the above mean biko?

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    4. Same reason no man wants to train another man's child(ren) though some are doing it unknowingly. At the end of the day everyone should do what works for them and what they feel comfortable with.

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    5. Acenene it means after training a child the owner remains the owner. In those days, parents normally sing it as a song during their children graduation. It’s like mocking the teachers cos their reward is only in heaven

      Fan Emmanuel

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    6. Ostrich not in my case, those kids Hates there father like kilode! They r just pretending because he is d 1 that pays bulk school fees, they respect him but you will notice they tilt more to there mum.

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  3. Lost my hubby of 5yrs last year, have with 2 kids a boy n a girl 3,4… turning 30 this yr, don’t think i will ever remarry because don’t know if I can ever trust my kids with any man and I can never leave them behind for anyone else to take care of in the name of remarrying. My focus now is just to hustle and be able to provide a good life for them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kudos to you
      You can remarry when they are able to stand on their own, if you like.
      Anonymous (!!!!,????) that was all over the place on yesterday's post about Patience Ozokwor, avoid me o ๐Ÿ™„

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    2. Anon God bless u for this sacrifice, and may you reap the fruit of ur labour. Amin๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

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    3. The Lord is your strength. He will be all to you a husband ought to be and more

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    4. May God provide all you need to give your kids the best !
      Amen๐Ÿ™

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    5. Amen. Thank You guys

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  4. My own na Oyibo pikins and dem mama don remarry sef. They live alone and not with us. Of course , am dragging nothing with them so we love us as a family. It's no big deal really. Life is too short to worry about kids you don't go to grave with.

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  5. Most times, from what I have seen , the step child is not treated fairly.
    My aunt married her late husband's younger brother. She had a daughter for the late man, later had four kids for the younger brother. This daughter from her first husband, hmmmmm, she was used as a maid. She would clean , wash, cook, cater for the younger ones and hawk after school. She later dropped out of school as she couldn't concentrate and her grades kept dropping.
    How would she do well in school when she goes to school around 9:30 - 10:am. Come back and hawk, do chores and sleep late. No time to do homework or read. She didn't finish secondary school and later was sent to learn a trade. Today, she is an illiterate, can't read or write well. Bitter and married to another illiterate.

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    1. That Woman is a very silly woman !

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    2. Your aunty is a very wicked woman to treat her own kid like that.

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    3. OMG!
      Two wicked people (the mum and the uncle)
      Kai!

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    4. Chai, the mother is a wicked woman. How can she allow her daughter passed through all these because of marriage, God abeg o.

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    5. Wicked woman! Who even marries the brother of a late husband ? So absurd

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  6. I have 2 step kids but they don't live with us, they live with my husband's relative, it's more convenient as both parents have easy access to them there. I do whatever I can for them financially and encourage their father to be there for them as much as possible. I'm low key glad they don't live with me, I'm a good person but raising children is stressful, talk more of the ones that can report any matter arising to their mother...God abeg oh.

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    1. They should go and live with their mother. Kilode

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  7. My friend had a child before she got married, after they got married the husband said the daughter will not live with them, she then gave her elder sister the daughter to help raise her.

    My elder sister didn't marry a guy she love so much because he said the daughter will not live with them.

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    1. Wow!
      The elder sister could sacrifice but the nother of the girl couldn't ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

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    2. There are instances like this. At the end of the day the daughter calls the aunty mummy and the supposed mother is called aunty.. Jack Nicholson had that experience he didn't know his aunty was his mum till he became an adult

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  8. My husband accepted my son as his own. No different treatment all children were treated equally. I had my son when I was 20 yrs old I got married to my husband at the age of 37 and started having my children immediately so now my son is in the university reading optometrist courtesy of my husband. When they my husband and my son have disagreements they try to put me in the middle I just run ๐Ÿƒ‍♂️. But now they are in a good place and I don't interfere when they start their wahala. I can't die before my time ooo. But we are one big happy family!

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    1. Kudos! My peace and Unity continue to abide there

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    2. This is beautiful ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  9. "Why do men refuse to allow the women they marry bring in other kids but think its OK to bring in kids they fathered out of matrimony?"

    Because unlike women, it's the man that'll be financially responsible for the kid.. ABI does the woman become financially responsible for the man kid(s) born by an(other) woman? make him own Papa take care of am abeg..

    It's not the same please..

    I know say many of Una no dey like hear truth.. just so you know,. I don't care..
    Hate me and come and be throwing insults wherever you see my comments..
    I no send✌️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So when the man brings his own kids, the woman won’t be the one taking care of them and carrying out other motherly responsibilities for them ??
      Finance finance, how many men today even chest 100% of family finances? How many can?

      My mother worked all her life and catered to us financially just as my father did yet she still covered the home front 100%, how fair is that?

      Anyways I’m not surprised, You always talk like someone that thinks from his anus.

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    2. Dante, you be man! I dey always talk am here. The way you think is a problem for the modern world because they've be bullied into woke thinking. Keep up your independent thoughts.

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    3. 16:14
      Many men are still responsible 100% for their homes. Women rarely broadcast this in public as they announce and complain in public about their financial contributions in their families

      In the cases where women contribute (not "assist") most women do so grudgingly and will gladly stop if the man says so or gets enhanced income.

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  10. Most children trained by another person always return the favour to their biological parents. So if I ever have the opportunity of training someone's child too, I will do it with the above mentality. Expecting nothing but God's reward in return.

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  11. When true love is there, the man will accept your kids and love them truly. Same with the woman.

    The prayer is for the kids to have good mind towards the adopted parent and not to have a negative influence controlling them against you

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  12. The women don't accept the step kids in Nigeria too. They either maltreat them or turn them to house slaves. Accepting step kids by both men and women is not a norm in Nigeria

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    Replies
    1. Very correct! We see and read of these everyday. They pretend to accept them then mal-treat them. It is better to out rightly reject them than accept them only to maltreat them.

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  13. This topic brought memories of a particular Chronicle. The woman who had a son from a previous relationship and remarried and the man insisted the little boy must not live with them. She gave him to her parents. One day her father brought the boy along for a visit and the estate gate phoned them and the husband told her to tell them to go back. She said she cried. The father took the boy back I wonder how their marriage is now and the little boy. Does anyone know if there has been any update?

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  14. Hmm, I had my first son at 24 but did not marry his father. I got married to my husband at 33. But neither he nor my son accept the other. The few years my son lived with us was a trauma for me. Both of them did not accept each other and my husband was very cruel to my.son. It is all in the past, they both relate courteously but I will never allow my son have anything to do with my husband.

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  15. Once dated a man that had a daughter. Her mother had remarried and lived abroad so the little girl was staying with her dad. I loved her so much, she was sweet and was so desperate to just have someone to call mummy and love her like a mother, even when I told her she could call me by name she insisted on adding mummy to it. we bonded so well as anytime he had to be out of town or country she stayed with me and we both looked forward to our stay together.

    but I observed whenever I had misunderstanding with him he would start showing the girl excess love, giving me silent treatment and making it look like it was the two of them against me.

    He would dress her up take her out for shopping or treats without me just to make me jealous, these were things we normally do together. He could spend the whole day just gisting with her and completely ignoring me. It made me feel sad, like I would never really belong there. Even though he always apologized for it when we make up but the pattern was just there. She was quite young so obviously she didn’t really understand.

    That was the reason I turned down his proposal when he eventually proposed. I can’t come n be living like a stranger in my own home.

    I missed her so much after the break up, more than I even missed the coconut head of a father. We are both married to different people. I’m happy and I hope it worked out for him as well.

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    Replies
    1. That's very eewwww behavior from the man. I'm glad you had the good sense not to accept such pettiness

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    2. Good you left him — glad you’re happy, such like you are rare trust me coconut head isn’t happy

      Delete
  16. Honestly, if you are a baby mama....
    Marry a guy who is a Baby Daddy too.
    It would be less Stressful for you both!!
    My Brother married a single mum, who is so attached to her son!
    Oya naa, every small quarell, she would hold on to the boy as if.......
    If he disciplines the little boy, the boys father comes around and start throwing tantrums ( mind you, my brother pays all bills for the child ohhhhh) the little boy goes to a school slightly above a million naira...
    Matter no be hear ohhhhh, and funny enough the little boy is so attached to his biological dead beat dad ehnnnn

    Anyway, i blame my bro for marrying a divorcee at 33!!

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    Replies
    1. Your brother has no backbone, a weakling. Kick that boy out to his biological father. Nonsense!

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    2. anon you sef are stupid for your last sentence. Blaming your brother for marrying a divorcee. No need for the stigma. It’s just the woman he married that has issues

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  17. In my opinion, people who have kids for different people should marry themselves. You see someone with kids, and wanna marry him or her, yet you want their kids out of their lives, were you blind? Don't complicate matters.

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  18. I’m in a mother of two from previous marriage and in another relationship and mariage in a bit. My partner who didn’t have any kids wholeheartedly accepted my daughters. It maybe be because we both don’t live in Nigeria and we don’t depend or will depend on him financially but we have discussed how finances is going to be managed when we marry me start living together. For the meantime we pays the 2/3 of our tickets when we travel to visit while I pay 1/3. I wasn’t willing to leave them behind when 1 travel and he suggested I come with and how the whole expense is sorted which I have no problem with. I think it is because he knows I could very well afford it and that their father also pays support every month too. He relates well with them and is actually very good with kids.

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  19. If you're a single dad, go get a single mom as a wife ,so you both will have something to protect , then the respect will be there

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    1. Lol @ something to protect ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
      They will both have something to hold on to or use to pepper each other when they quarrel.

      Delete
  20. @Blackberry
    if you kick the boy out now, The mother would feel hurt..
    He is just 6yrs old!
    The Lady won custody of the boy, and the court allowed the Father to visit..
    If not the fact that the estate is secured, the Man would have been coming unannounced all in the name of seeing his Son....
    Certified Mad man, and Sadly the little Boy is showing disturbing traits...
    My Brother is just too calm for all these drama going on around him!
    Anyday he visits the boy, he starts shouting my son is not being well fed bla bla bla...
    When its time for school fees, the Father would be unreachable..

    The most annoying part is, anytime they have issues the Lady starts posting her Son and thanking God for giving her him....

    Anyway, i have told my brother to walk away before it gets too late

    This is just 1year of marriage.

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    Replies
    1. One year marriage with all these drama already? Hope the father of the boy is not still sleeping with the woman secretly?
      Pls tell your brother to kick her out before she will plan with the boy's father and poison your brother and take his wealth.

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    2. Wait
      These people got married in 2021/2022 and there’s all this drama?

      Tell your brother to runnnn before they kill him
      There’s no way here at all.

      The woman does not even see the boy as your brothers son if not she would be giving it to her ex husband as he’s trying to give it to her present husband.

      Also posting my son my pride and all that rubbish is plain evil and petty.

      Please ask your brother to dissolve that marriage and find his way now.

      She would go with her son and her pride and marry a single father.

      What kind of craze family is that?

      Also meanwhile ask your brother to ban that man from coming to his house to visit.
      Let the mother take the son to an eatery to see his father whenever they want to visit.
      Or drop the boy in his house

      This is about your brothers sanity first of all.

      Ask him to order the woman to tell her ex husband that they would be meeting at a designated location.
      He should take drama far away from his house before he runs mad.

      The woman really chose her victim well. Kai I feel for your brother.


      Mma Nwachukwu

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    3. E reach to call family meeting and dissolve that marriage by force by fire if what you said are true o.

      Delete
  21. Women are fond of that they will now be posting their children ,my children my pride just to mock the man .I dey call am nonsense .biko your bro that married that divorcee with palaver, they should have discussion concerning that cos that woman is stuck with baby mama foolish behavior, if e no gree they shld go their separate ways .
    What nonsense deadbeat father disturbing,child showing traits, and the woman involved no wan get sense.
    Pls tell him that na agha di Kwa, there is war brewing, make he handle the situation property or better still they shld go their separate ways
    This shege and banza county make person no join am with family Wahala abeg

    ReplyDelete

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