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Sunday, March 05, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

  Hmm.....



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RELATIONSHIP BROUHAHA


My partner wants us to open a joint account for our wedding plans. I Told him it's not compulsory, and he's been taking it really personal. Relationship wahala tire me.

Also, he insists we should pick outfit color for our parents, I told him to allow them choose their colors by themselves. He feels like I don't listen to him
If this thing can't work, make we just go our separate ways:::


It sounds like he is very controlling or wants to be..
My dear this is A RED FLAG.... open your eyes oh!

60 comments:

  1. Reasons things well before you forge ahead to avoid had I known.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your relationship doesn't seem deep enough for marriage; if you don't trust him enough to open a joint account with him, don't marry him. The issue of colours for your parents is something you both would just align with the colour of the day. You neither trust nor respect him. Your last sentence tells me you are not even serious about the guy. Please let him go so he can find the right woman for him.

      Delete
    2. Poster, you know your fiance better than we do.

      My cousin did the joint account thing and I will tell you how it went. The then fiance was such a young innocent looking gentleman. They started the joint account immediately after the proposal. She was earning well and had no problems with that.
      Just about two weeks to the wedding guyman japaad with the joint money. This was really painful for her as she trusted the guy so much, someone she had dated for close to two years.

      Your man shouldn't be forceful with his opinions. I think you both should learn the art of negotiation, if it works fine, if not, a common ground could be established.

      So many women contribute a lot to their wedding without opening a joint account, just allocate what each party would have to pay for and everyone knows their assignment, it must not be a joint account thingy.

      Also, find out the reason he wants to pick asoebi colors for your parents instead of outrightly refusing with him. If his reasons are not really so good, then you learn the art of negotiation. Everything must'nt be a fight especially in relationships, you do a lot of negotiations and coming to a compromise in relationships.
      You explore all grounds before you call it quits.

      I wish you the best as you make the decision that's more favourable for you and your relationship.

      Delete
    3. I agree with anon 18:33, these issues are not big enough to make you poster start considering a breakup.
      Your comment implies your heart us not really with that man, please let him go, I smell troubles in the union if you both get married.

      Delete
    4. Na small shedren two of dem be. Dem never mature for marriage.

      Delete
    5. Make una sit down and talk properly about it.

      Marriage is not boy/ girl friend relationship

      Delete
  2. Which kind wahala is this? Who focuses on what color parents wear? Omo he looks like an overbearing man my sister eh, abeg just find way dey go this man will give you forceful anger issues

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  3. Hmm na so e dey start.
    Discuss with him about these things and if he doesn't bulge and still acting like you have done something wrong to him then just know that he cannot change, that's who he is.
    Then find japa away from him asap

    ReplyDelete
  4. Doesn’t sound like you too have any business getting married.
    Your energy is just not it.

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  5. You see that joint account for the purpose of wedding preparations sounds very very suspicious. Do not open a joint account with anyone until you have finished all ur marriage rites.

    As per the colour for ur parents, I believe u should first pick the colour(s) of the day and then have ur parents choose colours that will not clash with the colours of the day.

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  6. Red flag 🚩 alert 🚨

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your partner is rigid, structured, prim and proper.
    You are adventurous, risk taker and maybe impulsive...I may not be right though.

    All the best.
    Relationship wahala na globally
    Join queue 999
    Una no get issue like that.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  8. Joint account? What if he japas with the money? Are you sure it’s not MM?🀣🀣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣might be o. Poster shine your eyes well.

      Delete
    2. 15:42 πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      The fear of MM.
      He is a global fiance.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    4. 🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  9. From another angle, it could mean getting them their outfits. Decide the colour together and get them the material.

    But if they don't wear, that's fine too. You can ask the parents and suggest it to him as possible color .

    Then the account. Haven't you both talked about finances? If you two are saving for the wedding, I still think the joint account isn't a bad idea. What could go wrong?

    Unless you want him to foot the bill completely.

    Another thing is, you both can split the items so each person knows what they are bringing in. I believe you should be able to trust yourselves enough.

    These things are not issues that I will even spend a minute to resolve. But then, this is my person.

    I really hope you two reach an agreement

    ReplyDelete
  10. Scam...
    Joint account for wedding plansπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aww I’m with him on color for parents
    Some people don’t know how to blend colors Abeg. I agree with picking or gently suggesting their colors

    Nothing wrong with joint account for wedding if only both of you can withdraw but that can get burdensome so I’d rather not
    Who makes more money?

    ReplyDelete
  12. You have no business getting married you are too suspicious of your partner,reading meaning and saying all these I pity the man you are looking for excuse to back out it is better you do now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg this joint account talk before marriage is suspicious

      Delete
    2. Even joint account in marriage, most women do not want. The main reason is, however, selfish. After all the man's money is theirs for the asking and their money is theirs for keeping.

      After marriage, a wife said she didn't want a joint account opened with the cash gift from her husband's family. She did not want it used as down payment for a plot of land. Today, she is keen on knowing all about land purchases by her husband from his income "our money". But any story about her salary or account is long and crooked.

      That is the story of many marriages.

      Poster does not trust her fiance. Simple.

      Delete
  13. You guys are just planning for a wedding and you both cannot agree on anything, is not a do or die affairs. Please be with who you both has common interest, someone you both can see things in same way not the type that will impose everything on you.

    If you both has already picked like two to three colors for the wedding, allow both parents to make choice of what color to wear as long as the color is not out of what you both has already picked as your colors for the day.

    Joint account is not by force but if you both trust each other then you can run it together. Make sure the instructions is both must sign before anything can leave the account. You both can agree how much to send in either weekly or monthly depending on how your incomes.

    If you both cannot calm down and listen to your self but want to go into competition please walk away.

    ReplyDelete
  14. One of my friend that married some years ago did this joint account for wedding with his wifey and it worked very well for them, even though he was the one putting bulk of the money in it.. so when people were sending donations to them for the wedding, they also were adding it into the account, infarct, if you as a friend of the wife or husband calls to ask for account number to send your support, it's the joint account number that's sent to you...

    Many of you brains just block when talks about your money is discussed..

    Me? I won't even bring up such discussion with any girl,. Tha last thing I want is for anyone to think I'm interested in their money somehow.. na small thing dey cause see finish.. see as she carry talk wey the man bring with good intentions come here, so all her crew go gather to insult the man..

    Just end the relationship with the guy instead of all this insults, you don't respect him at all, a lady should have no business getting married to a man she doesn't listen to..

    Then go and look for the man that would sponsor everything regarding the wedding, including lodging your family and friends that'll attend, since you no won spend Shi Shi for the celebration..

    When them go spray Una money now, you go still dey expect the man to leave all the sprayed money for you as a real man..

    Na Una sabi sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am with you Dante, bringing the matter here so that we go join mouth insult the man...anyway they have already startedπŸ‘†.

      Dude, this is not an issue, but if you are already seeing that it won't work, just end it now, I no wan hear sob later.

      Nigerians have started send account number to people for support for their wedding and other ceremonies like ndα»‹ abroad. So what if that is the purpose for the joint account?just asking...

      Delete
    2. Just this little matter
      One MS word page

      What will happen when we bring serious matter on this blog?
      You will use Excel to solve it
      PowerPoint to present it
      YouTube so it can get to the world
      Netflix to document it.

      Dante, are you alright?
      Do you sleep well at night?
      I feel like you will be muttering all the grievances meted on you five years ago while sleeping.

      Nna, odirokwa that serious.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    3. Dante, points well made.

      Most Nigerian husbands quickly learn (some to their surprise) that if you want the smallest respect wives give after marriage, they most remove themselves from ALL matters concerning their wives' money except to fund their wives and their wives' money needs.

      Delete
  15. You should know getting married to a man means you submiting to his authority and leadership that you only heed to his words as th head..some of you lack understanding and you have no business getting married..leave him alone and let a lady that understands these things get married to him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Church brainwashing has destroyed you. “Submit one to another...” and not “to the man’s authority “. This is why Nigerian men are textbook narcs.

      Delete
  16. You are not nearly ready for marriage.

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  17. He might mean no harm though the joint account thing sounds somehow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How does it sound? please explain

      Delete
    2. The worse somehow is the man wants to run away with the money. So why is she even discussing parents color with such man

      The best somehow is that the man wants bills shared in some ways. That's what the typical Nigerian woman does not want to hear in marriage.

      It never occurs to some women the request could be to ensure the man locks the money out of his whims, waste and third party demands.

      Some women don't find out the real reason. If a spendthrift asks for joint account as lock against the habit, then the woman needs to appreciate the man and plan how to live with such man. Stories abound here of women who brought financial discipline and focus into their husbands' lives.

      But some women, once they hear joint.. they run. Yet they want to benefit materially in the marriage. They want lands and properties in names of Mr Husband and Mrs Wife or in the name of Mrs Wife from their husbands.

      Delete
  18. Please a man that is waiting for a woman support early like this in marriage is he a man or a male
    Wait again ooo, after this contribution for marriage to take place with joint account money, he will claim he married her abi, she is his property, he is the man of the house and start disposing power as man of the house.
    Am nothing saying a woman supporting her marriage is wrong but this man in question is seeing it as is a law or a mandatory thing for requesting a joint account.
    Commander in chief of man forces.
    Shine your eye babe before you will come back here to cry that he commands you as if you are he house girl
    πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You attend dunamis church

      Delete
    2. From what happened in the one I know of, it was only for the celebration,. And like I said, na the guy out bulk of the money there as he had an amount he put there every month from his salary, his babe then wasn't working, but she do put in money there from time to time, plus every donations from people goes directly into it..

      E no cover the bride price and list payment.. na the guy use him own money fund that one..

      People travelled from various places to attend the wedding, they practically paid for almost all the rooms in an hotel for their guests, I was there for about a week, tho the hotel payment only covered for 2 days

      Delete
    3. 17:01
      So if a man pays for everything in his marriage and during the marriage, he has the right to command the wife the way he likes?

      Would you agree to be commanded as your husband likes because he paid all for your wedding and is footing all your bills?

      Why do women still complain about the commands of sole providing Husbands. Yes, there are sole providing Husbands.

      Abeg make we dey move wit times.

      A woman is working and earning Fx at same salary level as her fiance and she says she wants to "contribute" to her wedding ceremony. No bi juju be dat? Such woman should share the ceremony bills and matrimonial bills equally with her fiance.

      Your comments reinforce the idea that the husband and wife are not equal in marriage.

      Delete
  19. Who earns more between the both of you? I can see that you're protecting your finances which is fine. You both need to communicate more, both of you speak in diverse tongues which is not healthy. To be sincere, having a joint account for wedding expenses or choosing colours for your parents are not the big deal. You two are the big deal! How well do you know each other ? What level of trust has he earned from you and vice versa? I can sense he is not an already made man that's why he needs your financial input towards the wedding. Marry him if you're ready to be splitting bills with your husband.

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  20. Which yeye joint account? abeg he should face front ,

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  21. Why should you listen to him him when he doesn't make sense?
    Why should he be focusing on what colour parents wear? As in how petty and jobless can a man be?
    When I see men picking over trivial things in a wedding I just laugh, wedding of just one day.
    Me that if I have my way, I will wed in my living room with only 3 members of family and the family members my partner wants to invite, and I be woman o! πŸ˜‚
    Is this the first wedding your parents are attending in their lives? Obviously they will know what colours to wear to blend in.

    So you dont want joint account he is now carrying face?? Lolll na overbearing tata you wan marry so.

    Someone who lacks logic, common sense and maturity and believes the prescence of a flaccid penis makes him the knowamagbe of everything.

    This is the same way he will be carrying face and giving attitude when you don't do what he wants. Are you ready for everymonth malice served fresh like palmwine?

    Sis na unending suffering you dey use your hand organise so o.

    A lot of people will tell you that these are too trivial to call off a wedding but I'm here to tell you verily that it is in the little inconsequential details that hide people's true character.
    If you insist on following this man, see you see ' Please hide my ID' forever more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing wrong with a guy having interest in the colors

      Delete
    2. 17:45 Then he shouldn't only stop at the colours, he should also insist on decor, shapes and sizes of meat, types of hairstyle for the bridesmaids and designs of dresses, MC and his itinerary, photographer, picker for money sprayed etc etc not only colour.

      Delete
    3. To be honest, I love your comment, why on earth is the man interested in the colors their parents are wearing? Seems like an overbearing man and controlling too. Abeg he should shift one side. Please contribute to the wedding but the joint account is a no no for me.

      Delete
  22. These are both simple things that can be easily resolved with diplomacy. Is there any emotional or spiritual connection between you both? The chronicle just reads like someone talking about a bothersome object, not someone they care for and are planning a life with.

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    Replies
    1. Very true. Poster sounds as if the man is irritating to her, below her, and an how for do fiance. Better for Poster to wait.

      Delete
  23. You never ready

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  24. Very native man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  25. Personally, I don't see any problem in having a joint account for a wedding. Having a joint account doesn't even mean the woman has to contribute anything into it. Having one place where it is easier to keep track of expenditure, sounds ideal to me. When you open up the statements, you can easily see how much was paid to which vendor and when. It is convenient. You don't have to go through your personal accounts trying to find what is what.

    As for the colours...since family colours is a thing in Nigeria, it makes sense to pick a colour for the parents that will go well with your theme.

    People are so quick to say the wedding is for the woman only, so the man should just show up...but I disagree. It is the beginning of a couple's life together. He should be involved, and actually want to participate.

    @poster...You don't sound like someone who wants to spend the rest of your life with this man. Maybe you're feeling pressure because of age, or perhaps all your friends and family are getting married...but it's better to wait for the one that you cannot live without!

    ReplyDelete
  26. It would be good if you both learn the art of negotiation instead of this "he said I should and I said no and he said I don't listen...".

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are not ready for marriage.I don’t see anything wrong in what he said.


    Tutu

    ReplyDelete
  28. can two work together except they agree ??

    ReplyDelete
  29. What is wrong with opening a joint account or do you not want to contribute to your own wedding? We didn’t open a joint account but we contributed to one account and shared bills reasonably. Per your parents outfit, both of you can find a common ground. Align their colours with your wedding colour theme. You come across as being uninterested and obstinate. I’m sorry, just my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The one you can do, do it, but he has to tell you his budget.
    You guys should work on the budget.

    ReplyDelete

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