Daughter of zion shared this story on Twitter
''I've never shared my story publicly before, I started dating my ex when I was 20 and he was my 2nd, my first molested me. So I always see my ex as my first cos my first consensual sez was with him. I had just gotten into uni then.
Forward to 5yrs later, I graduated and we were still dating o. Mind you, I never had a school bf because he lived in Benin while my school was in ekpoma (AAU). All my years in school I never experienced what it felt like to have a boyfriend In school. My whole life was just him.
So After graduation, he asked me to move in with him. Though he was out of the country at the time. So I was staying at his place, I had a shop he opened for me while I was waiting for NYSC.
Fast forward to a yr later, we started building his house. I was in charge of his finances Because he didn't trust any of his family members then, so we finished the house in 8mths. I furnished and bought everything in the house but he was the one sending the money. So after About 2 months he came back to Nigeria and we moved into the house and rented out the back flat.
A lady and her family moved in, guess what ,my ex started dating the lady without me knowing everybody in the whole area knew but I didn't
Well to cut long story short they're both married with a kid now and guess what??
I'm just now beginning to heal from the heart break
I know y'all might wanna know what his reason for breaking up with me was Well according to him he said he didn't love me anymore that meeting this said lady was what opened his eyes to realize that he has never loved me
That day I collapsed and was taking to the hospital By the girl's mother, I spent 3days in the hospital and a week after I was discharged he came to my sister's house to collect his shop keys. (I called it his shop cos he sponsored everything) and he gave the keys to the said girl's mother, I was depressed for over a year.
Living on antidepressants. It took me 18 good months to even give my number to a man. I saw men like beasts .
A lady and her family moved in, guess what ,my ex started dating the lady without me knowing everybody in the whole area knew but I didn't
Well to cut long story short they're both married with a kid now and guess what??
I'm just now beginning to heal from the heart break
I know y'all might wanna know what his reason for breaking up with me was Well according to him he said he didn't love me anymore that meeting this said lady was what opened his eyes to realize that he has never loved me
That day I collapsed and was taking to the hospital By the girl's mother, I spent 3days in the hospital and a week after I was discharged he came to my sister's house to collect his shop keys. (I called it his shop cos he sponsored everything) and he gave the keys to the said girl's mother, I was depressed for over a year.
Living on antidepressants. It took me 18 good months to even give my number to a man. I saw men like beasts .
Now I'm 31, still single and somebody comes to bash me for being unmarried at this age? Y'all think anybody ever planned to be over 30 and unmarried???
Walk in people People's shoes first before bashing them.
Walk in people People's shoes first before bashing them.
I Apologies for the long history
Oh my goodness. Some people are really wicked
ReplyDeleteLord come through for her in such awesome way that she will be grateful the ex left.
Amen in Jesus name
DeleteThat guy is wicked.
DeleteHe married the woman in a twinkle of an eye but trusted you than his family with his finances. It's better for a man to love more in a relationship.dont worry lady; your own husband who will love you will come 🙏
ReplyDeleteSuch sad story.
ReplyDeleteMay her own man locate her.
She would have saved herself this headache if she hadn't engaged in haram relationship and cohabing with him before marriage. 😌. She brought this upon herself
ReplyDelete🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
Empathy,
Deletean alien concept to you
That halo you have around your head must be getting heavy by now. Na people like you dey do unimaginable things in private
DeleteVery sad😭😭😭😭
ReplyDeleteThis is heartbreaking! He should have at least leave the shop for her,I pray God gives you a man that truly loves you,I won't be surprised if he had been dating the other girl before she rented the flat to her
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGosh! I detest your reasoning!
Delete15.29
DeleteI detest yours too
Dante, i don't know if you understand that life is a boomerang and when you least expects, it will come back and hit you in the head.
DeleteNow, i am a very practical person and severally, i have tried to see things from your perspective to no avail. I am tempted to believe that you say all this things, quite simply, to get a rise out of people. And today, you won. You are right, she shouldn't have built her life around a man. She was stupid to think she could do that and get away with it. You said you wanted to marry a virgin. If your virgin decides to not make you her everything, do you think you will enjoy that marriage/relationship.
I hope that if you do have a female child, you do not love her so much, because if you do and a man breaks her heart so brutally like the men in this stories have done and you have supported, then and only then, will you feel as much pain as this women feel.
It is one thing to identify with an ideology [Feminist slayer], but it is another to identify with that ideology at the expense of empathy and common sense.
My guy you Sabi this gender wela. They like to be seen as good but will never commit to the work of actually been good. In all their stories they are the innocent one, the other party is just evil. Let the woman tell us what really happened.
DeleteAt anon 16:37 👏👏👏. Apt response.
Delete16.37
DeleteYou're not a practical person, judging from this emotional comment deviod of something meaningful you put out..
17.17
Na their way,.
That's how that chronicle girl the other day came to play her own victim card and refused to talk about how she was double dating with an abroad guy in the relationship, dumping the guy even up to her getting married and getting divorced because of her bad character.. she forgot to include all those parts, but just came to call that guy she dumped a time waster because bobo don finally hammer.. see how all her people started throwing bombs on the guy
All ye righteous men here, make una form association na!!
DeleteVery apt 16:37. But you know there ain't no point trying to reason with extremists. They can never accept they are wrong, even with all the evidence.
DeleteDante is a misogynistic human. Why bother even to reason with him? It's his ideology and nothing can change it. It's same way Trump is racist. Can you reason with him as a woman? Ofcourse not
DeleteDem go talk everything on how the guy be monster, full of evil , did this and that to them but will never say wetin dem do the guy. These yeye modern women wey no get behaviour should understand that this victim mentality no dey work again in this 2023. The majority of u women will keep on making the same mistake over and over again because una dey always see una selfs as perfect and blameless. Tell me how you wan take work on yourself with this kain mentality. Make una continue to dey think say men na mumu and no work on una behaviour, when d man tire for una mannerless , manipulative , disrepectful etc doings, him go bounce even if una don friend or marry for 100 yrs.
ReplyDeleteThis must be some heavy African juju at work. For a man to trust you with his finances, he loved you.
ReplyDeleteI think so too, the lady and her family saw a made young man and went diabolic, the guy sef no follow, if a girl was with you for over 5 years, you should have left the shop for her.
DeleteManaging the shop and that building was what made her not to job hunt like her mates after graduation. I hope the poster meets a better person. 30 is the new 30 so she shouldn't heed the shamers.
I think you dodged a bullet. Who knows the next person the man is going to fall in love with? Maybe his sister inlaw. If I were you, I will be thankful to God that I didn't marry him and erase his thoughts from my Medulla oblongata. He is not worth it, we need to think of ourselves highly no matter what. You are worth more than you can imagine. Honestly the man nor reach. Get back up and soar. Who born that person wen go make me depress? Is he God? You are even better than him. You can achieve better things. Get up!
DeleteLadies need to put themselves first. Invest in yourself and be self independent. It reduces disrespect from men and saves you from hearing these stories. INVEST IN YOURSELF FIRST. GET YOURSELF YOUR HOUSE OR CAR FIRST. It is well oh.
ReplyDeleteWhen emotionally stunted and selfish men partner with emotionally insecure women
DeleteThis story is the result
Ladies repeat 50 times what anonymous 13:33 said
Over and over again
This is what Dante said above. But did you read the epistlean comment by another woman.
DeleteA full professional. Capable of earning income. Trained by her father or parents . Once she marries, all about her is my husband my husband, most times not out of care for the man as a person, but out of the income or benefit the man puts in her life. That's why some men play god.
His income, our income is the foundation of so many a sad marital story.
By the way, I am a man.
I think the wife held him down.... dem nor de follow man with clear eye..
ReplyDeleteo my God! This is traumatic. God heal you completely. You are stronger than you think. He was never the best for your personality. You were too good for him. Your loading blessing will be mind blowing. Just keep moving and keep hope alive. E-hug
ReplyDeleteIve learned not to judge a one sided story.
ReplyDeleteSomething may have been lacking in your relationship with him that he found instantly with the other woman.
Marriage is not by force and as a woman you don’t want to even end up with a man that isn’t crazy about you. A man that would marry you already knows so with one of relationship.
As for the status shaming, hmmm I’m surprised people actually shame women at 31, like you are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Focus on building yourself first and love would happen when it ll. Hopefully soon
It may be so but you cant discard people like irrelevant objects whether man or woman . The manner in which things are done matters alot
DeleteThank you Bini.
DeleteNa waooo...it is well ooo
ReplyDeleteWould have been my story but God came through for me. Dated an ex but his family insisted that he won't marry from my state. Dated another who was into sugar mum, promised to change but never did, even when I wanted to quit the relationship, he promised heaven and Earth that he's gonna change but never did. After service, I got a job that I barely have time for myself talk more of reasoning man matter. Everything centered on my job, Sunday is the only resting day for me and to worsen it, I'm equally an indoor type. Me that planned my life that before 26 I would have been in my husband's house, but God came through for me shall. Dear single young ladies don't let your boyfriend stop you from meeting your husband, love with your head not only your heart. Once you detect any red flag move on cos they never gonna change. Finally and most importantly, move closer to God and hold onto his promises for you. For all those who think that there is no more time for them, may God of eleventh hour show up for you. Amen
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
DeleteAmen my sister.
DeleteLol seriously no one to blame but yourself, you were slaving for someone you were not married to, cohabiting and now you’re bitter you were served breakfast?
ReplyDeleteSo for all those years after uni you didn’t look for a job yourself but decided to be at his mercies ?
Now you’ve learnt you will do better . Have some self respect ok
All I will say is God sees all. He sees right into the heart. What goes around comes around...........
ReplyDeleteAmen
ReplyDelete@Dante I agree to an extent and I understand you are not generalising your comment but to those who are in that space and habit.
ReplyDeleteAs a woman myself, when you tell a young lady to add value to herself, for the sake of herself she would rather be hoping on a man as a life source. But this story here is sad, the only bad thing is that it's just from a source and one is not a enough. You were busy building an empire, neglecting your own empowerment in that process and when the music stops we blame the DJ? We all should learn to be our own little DJ. There's a reason why financial maturity is a needed criteria for marriage, not just by the man but the woman as well.
Thanks God that has healed. Hopefully she has learnt to put her happiness first, before validating any relationship.
My deepest sympathies to the lady but in all honest, she wasn't smart at all, Your guy is dating someone in a house you supervised its building and live in that the whole street knows about but you chose ignorance and to deceive yourself by yourself. Definitely, you kept telling yourself that you did a lot for him (starting/running his business, building house for him) you will not be forsaken, i laugh in Swahili - Don't try most humans
ReplyDeleteLadies/Men Do not ever build your life around any human being. Please Stop deceiving yourselves to build for another person while completely neglecting yourself. Whatever you are doing for a man just bear in mind its a high risk with no possibility of return.
You can not totally ignore or keep your life on standby, devalue who you are to build another person and expect them to see you in same way in their new level. Most times it ends in premium tears
If you are dating/courting someone from 18months please immediately switch your heart(love, infatuation, feelings, emotions) for your Brain( objective reasoning) - applicable to 27yrs and above
Stories like this helps us learn and reevaluate what you know.
The irony is those mocking her for being single will call her desperate if she wants to settle down with a man she met less than a year , as long courtship determines happy marriage
ReplyDeleteYou mind humans? Everyone of yhrm bashing her but no words for the boyfriend who ok betrayed her or the other woman who knowingly dated him behind her back thinking she's smart. When years later, things go wrong, they start blaming the devil.
DeleteLadies, both single and married, stop building FOR a man. Build your own alongside. Make sure your name is legally on everything you build with a man. Don't be blinded by "love". I added married women too because the story would have been the same if the poster was already married to the man before they met the other lady. Remember May Edochie's story.
ReplyDeleteOP is 31. Let her shift to the back of the queue. She doesn't have a problem. Hell! No one does as far as marrying at any age is concerned. If marriage comes, fine. If it doesn't, we move ahead!
ReplyDeleteHer pain is her investment in the relationship and expectation of marriage, which she initially had no reason to doubt. As a human she will definitely feel bad to say the least. Thank God she didn't kill herself and was able to get the help and support she needed. I think she must have learnt her lesson, but things like this tend to scar people. Hopefully she ends up with someone very kind, patient and understanding.
DeleteSingle at 30 and you are writing chronicles. Abeg shift joor. What will people in their 50’s who are single do?
ReplyDeleteDon't dismiss her pain. Heartbreak can be hard at any age.
DeleteTomorrow when things start happening to that man and his family he will be crying, looking for her to forgive him. Such a wicked man, wasted her time and still collected the shop you opened for her. The heart break was okay, no news to collect that shop.
ReplyDeleteThe heart of a man is wicked
ReplyDeleteI'm a man in his late 40s with a lot of history with babes. I dislike all this feminist rants but you see this particular guy? He's a beast.
ReplyDelete