Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Wednesday, May 03, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm.....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED

BVs please advise me,
I recently relocated because of marriage so I'm out of job. We moved into a big man's compound and the man is very humble and and seems kind. He's a custom officer, so I'm thinking of approaching him for a help in getting a job, or better still chat him up on WhatsApp.

 I don't know if that will give a different impression, I don't want him to feel I'm giving a signal, or if I should forget him and continue my online applications.

I thought of begging my husband to go for me but he will never agree. I don't know if it's a bad idea:....


Hmmmm its not a bad idea but its not a good idea either.... Let it rest for now.
And please do not chat him up on whatsapp unless you are looking for something else oh...

61 comments:

  1. You have not told your husband yet and you already concluded that he wont consent to it? Talk about it with your husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She knows her husband, please.

      Delete
    2. Key word, "her husband". So she knows him Wella. Ighotago? Okay, bye.😎

      Delete
    3. What a bad idea. You stay in this man's compound, and there is a red flag for me since you can't tell your husband. Trouble dey sleep nyanga won go wake am.

      Delete
    4. Dear poster
      Approach him with your husband, do not send him any message or go see him yourself, if he is meant to be your helper, God will work things out for you. Pray about it and your husband will not refuse.

      Secondly, you can get closer to his wife, that way she can help you ask him.


      Push up (original)

      Delete
  2. Let your husband speak to him on your behalf.Please,don't chat him privately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless you’re trying to get a basic job , you should speak to him for yourself

      Delete
    2. My sincere advice is that you call him by yourself and greet him first, then the next call should be that of the favor and your husband should know that you’re calling him so it won’t look like you’re looking for something else.
      God can use anyone to bless anyone never forget that.

      Delete
  3. Madam face front.
    That's your landlord. Keep it professional.
    Nah from clap e dey enter dance.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There's no harm in trying, your husband can as well follow you and you'll do the talking

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ask him
    One day outside in view of everyone, just ask him
    Connection is the best way to find a job and not everyone wants something except your gratitude in return

    ReplyDelete
  6. Go on ahead and try your luck physically
    It could click trust me

    ReplyDelete
  7. Y can approach face t face but nev chat him on WhatsApp

    ReplyDelete
  8. Its too early poster,over familiarity breeds contempt,continue the online search.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tell your husband to tell the man or both of you go meeting him. Your husband will disagree as you predicted but it's on record you tried for your landlord to help but your husband refused. Ego on the part of your husband, nothing more. Very many men will not agree to such help especially as a tenant to such a benefactor.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It isn't Ego, it is selfishness

      Delete
  10. Discuss it with your husband first. Why won't he agree? He doesn't want you to work or what? This country,who you know can help you get a job quicker than anything. Don't be over familiar with the man,just it it respectful and formal. If he will help,he will. If not,keep it moving. One thing I have realized these days is that help can come from the least expected places.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fast and pray put for leading

      Delete
  11. Never chat him on whatsapp, approach him yourself and your husband. If he wants to help he will assist.
    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Plead with your husband to ask him...not you

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please don't chat him on Whatsapp, discuss with your husband before taking any step.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ask him when your husband is around

    ReplyDelete
  15. When you move into a place, the first thing you do is not foist your problems on others. Build your reputation first, look for areas of common ground if any, look for areas where you can provide value before you start looking for what you can collect from 'big man'.
    Sometimes it is better to keep your personal business personal in a public place to preserve self respect.
    Abi wouldn't life had gone on if your landlord was a 'small man'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true

      Delete
    2. 100 likes for your comment @anon 15:25

      Delete
    3. Asking me if I know of a job is not putting your problems on me
      Heck he’s the landlord. He has an interest in her having money to pay him

      Delete
    4. Poster na see finish you dey find.
      🚢🏾‍♀️🚢🏾‍♀️🚢🏾‍♀️🚢🏾‍♀️

      Delete
  16. Chatting him up on WhatsApp is out of the question. Talk to your husband to go with you and see the man . Pray over the issue as well .

    ReplyDelete
  17. He may not be in a position to recruit you into NCS. He may refer you to his guys who may want something in return. Sometimes it's good to respect boundaries, he's your landlord and not obligated to seek for employment for you. It's harrasment because he won't expect his tenant to ask him for a job.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Meet him and talk with him, he may be your divine connector...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Is there a general whatsapp group for everyone in the compound? You could just drop it casually, that incase of any vacancy, you are open. If not, let your husband help you talk to him.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Although I believe in putting pride to the side when you are seeking better in life, approaching could create any number of problems. You don’t truly know him well to take that step. He does not know your character to vouch for you as an employee, if you are a poor worker or have bad attitude then he will be the one to bear the shame for recommending you. He may interpret you asking as a show of financial problems, one thing you never want a landlord to believe is that you are having financial problems. You have not discussed it with your husband, as your husband is likely the one who signed the rental agreement he may not support this, without his consent do not proceed to ask anything.

    The situation appears easy but may actually be complicated. If you are desperate give it a few more months to get to know this man better, and if your husband is against asking then forget about it. The job that I have today, I was asked by the manager to apply, I had no interview and it was basically handed to be in my lap. This experience shifted my mindset about employment. Sometimes we thing we have to go looking for a job, but the job can come looking for us too. Open yourself to all possibilities.

    ReplyDelete
  21. "What's wrong with some of you sef..
    Is it that you don't have sense at all...

    God abeg.. na beg I dey beg...
    Cos which kind mentality be this one nah"

    πŸ‘†
    My response Yesterday, Today and Forever✌️

    ReplyDelete
  22. May our kids not resemble our landlord πŸ™

    Cos na like this e dey start

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣 very funny comment! Pls ma don’t try it at all, instead compel ur husband even with force to speak to him on ur behalf or you still forcefully drag him for both of you to visit the man
      -Anyin

      Delete
    2. I don't think she will send a chronicle if she had such intentions, I mean it sounds like they live in the same compound, it's as simple as giving green light and secretly hooking up when the husband isn't around, if she was that type of person. As someone said up there, it's not wise to ask without her husband's consent plus he doesn't know her well enough and vice versa.

      Poster, wait and observe his character first and stylishly be mentioning it to your husband till he understands there's no harm in trying. Asking is better than assumptions, I've gotten a job by recommendation before so I know it works but get better acquainted first and let your husband be aware, it's not a good look if your husband finds out from another person.

      Delete
    3. 16.40

      Please, you people should leave me with your mentality.
      This is how hooking up in secret starts, first is secretly meeting the man behind her husband's back, before you know it, they're meeting secretly in hotels.
      My uncle's wife got a job through a man in church, the man didn't meet her directly, he approached my uncle and asked her if he'll like his wife to work in so and so commission, if yes, he should get back to him and he'll send her to who she'll meet to facilitate it.
      That's how it's done.

      It's a very big disrespect and disregard to a man when his babe or wife act in these manner.. like if I have a job for my friend's wife, it's my friend I'll discuss with first..

      See ehn, apart from just having the landlord number cos no one knows when it'll be needed for emergency, the only thing that woman should be doing with the landlord is greetings when their path cross.. yes, only when their path cross..

      Carry begy begy attitude enter marriage, this is what happens when you marry all those babes that you meet today and tomorrow she's asking you for urgent 2k.. entitlement mentality mixed with begy begy spirit..

      See I don commot hand for Una matter, as Una no won dey hear true advice, so abeg make Una dry leave my comments alone, no come dey reply mumu reply under my comment abegπŸ™

      Delete
  23. Discuss that with your husband first before anything, if anything happens during your chat or talking to your landlord your husband will blame you for not speaking with him first. Jokingly talk to your husband about it but if his man ego refuse him to do that, just lock up.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wait! Just wait!
    I won’t like a tenant I do not know to approach me for a job.

    Get to know each other.
    Not by doing anything but just by ‘being’ and observing.

    Beg beg mentality is wrong!
    Good fences make good neighbours.
    Give it time maybe 9months to 1 year.

    Steps:
    1. Be a friendly and respectful neighbour.

    2. Don’t be in a rush to get anything; no one owes you!

    3. Take time to under the personality of your landlord and family. (9+months)

    4. Take time to understand why your husband doesn’t want to approach him.
    He might know something you don’t know.

    5.Keep making your job applications.
    I repeat: no one owes you.

    6. When you’ve known their personality/character from afar, you and your husband can decide the best way to approach them.

    7. Leave your beg beg personality in your bedroom.

    A wrong move/perceived wrong move might send you both packing from your accommodation. This will strain your new marriage.

    Stop being in a haste.

    No one owes you!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think you should speak to your husband to speak to the man on your behalf . The idea of going by yourself or even texting him on WhatsApp is not a good one ooo biko. Just speak to your husband First.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, if you speak to him yourself you are inviting other things you may not be able to condone e.g sexual advances

      Delete
  26. I'm amazed at how many people are afraid to ask for help.
    Poster tell your husband of your intentions then go ahead and ask the man. The worse he can say is no

    ReplyDelete
  27. Madam please and please speak to your husband about it FIRST if he doesn't consent to it then GIVE IT A REST
    E get why

    ReplyDelete
  28. That's how I helped a woman and now her son keeps calling and harassing me for a job. I don't even know the woman well not to talk of the son. Poster,wrong move. Don't make it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What’s harassing in that
      Just say you can’t help. That’s all

      Delete
  29. I think your husband should be in the best position to ask your landlord on behalf of you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I would discuss with my husband. Get him on board and then go with him to meet the man to state your request. After that, lock up. If he gets back to u with a job, good. If he doesn't, don't bother reminding him or harassing him. Move on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And remember he is your landlord not an employment agency

      Delete
  31. Do not go and knock on his door!
    Do not WhatsApp him!

    Does he live in the same compound as you, or does he come by occasionally? Either way, just time him. When you see him around, greet him.

    If he is the type to ask how you're doing...reply by letting him know that you've been job hunting, but things aren't going so well. If he was paying attention and genuinely cares, the next time you see him, he will ask if there's been any change in your employment status. Update him by mentioning that you've applied for 'x' amount of positions in the past few weeks, but haven't yet heard back yet...yet you're still hopeful. The next time you see him after that, present him with your CV and let him know that you'll be very grateful if he could help you secure an interview somewhere suitable.

    Note: Only pursue this route of giving him your CV, if he asks for updates, after you've told him you're job hunting. If he doesn't, then just maintain a tenant-landlord cordial relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You ladies just make noise and clearly lack understandings as regards marriage and relationships no wonder problem arises.sister the right thing to do is to tell your husband,your husband does that on your behalf..all this woke generation with no sense .tueh.body scratch you!

    ReplyDelete
  33. It's better your husband do the talking.

    ReplyDelete
  34. So you know your husband will not agree. But You want to go ahead.

    It is said not to be unequally yoked with a person who does not share same beliefs with you. This goes beyond religion.

    More importantly, it is always better for a woman not to marry beneath her. This goes beyond money and status or age.

    Poster, you are married to a man who does not share same beliefs as you and is beneath you. If not, how did you ever thought of whatsapp chatting with your landlord or going to him for a job without even discussing it with your husband. You do not respect your husband as a person or do not respect his judgment ability. Simple.

    Depending on the age and outlook of the man, he may even see your planned action as very disrespectful or your husband as proud by "sending" you to him instead of your husband making the request.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Ask him casually when you are with your husband. Maybe when your path cross. After the normal pleasantries. Gently tell him you are still job hunting and you wish to plead he help you out.
    Everyone is not out for negativity. People help others geniniuely Without expecting any kind of reward.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster,
    If it goes awry, will you carry the can in secret or let your husband know and expect him to trust you and have your back.

    Last Friday, she could not sleep.

    For months, she would have long phone talks with a male colleague from her matrimonial home. Husband kept quiet. Then they quarrelled over money as she said. On Friday, another female colleague called to tell her how rumours of gbenshing, boyfriend snatching, etc was swirling around her, the male colleague, his girlfriend. As presented, the male colleague was even saying... What gives a man the guts to let rumours of ... turn around him and a married woman. Is it not the woman who allows herself to be seen finish though married?

    She told husband herself as she believed that he heard a part of her hysterics.

    She went to hear more on Saturday to know what was really said. Since then Husband has not asked her what's up. She has not said more. She is now tongue tied.

    If she was told the familiarity with the male colleague was too much, she would have said husband didn't want her to work or progress at work.

    There are boundaries in relationships. All relationships have rules.

    There are ways to walk to avoid trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Some of you women take risky decision so you can be called MRS . You uprooted yourself from your place to move to a different location with no plan as to how to find a job because of a man . Tomorrow you will write another chronicle as to how your husband doesn’t respect you because you are 100% dependent on him . Remember, men don’t quit their jobs to marry .. why do women do so especially when we have lots of examples of how it is a bad idea ?

    Learn a skill on the internet.. graphic design , makeup up , cooking for busy workers, babysitting etc .. while you continue with your job search . Don’t go and ask your big man landlord for help before your husband accuses you of being unfaithful.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Madam na you know wetin you dey find ooo...from your write up e be like sey u dey find something else but you just want make we advise you to go. How you take know sey your husband no go gree..

    ReplyDelete
  39. the landlord may think you are looking for something else. don't forget he is not the owner of the organisation, if you dont have a relationship with the family, dont ask.

    ReplyDelete

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