Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..


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Friday, July 14, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..




I am struggling with something.

I am a beautiful and educated woman ( I am not bragging). I have lived in several countries abroad, have multiple degrees, and earn very well. I am Christian and serve God with all my heart. I can cook, and clean, andi  am a good homemaker. To add, even have spiritual gifts that I use to support my loved ones when they feel stuck in life (God shows me visions and solutions for their problems).

But one area of my life has brought a pattern that worries me: My love life.

I am in my mid-30s and the time for “focus on yourself, marriage will come” has passed. In fact, when people say it to me now, I get upset. I have been working hard since my 20s and i am self-sufficient. I even hide my net worth from people, to avoid predators.

 I said to myself that it is only the man who honours me that will know the full gist of what I have. I have kept that coded till now.

In all this, I am still unmarried. Don't even think s#x, because I stopped “giving” a long time ago. By so doing, God has shown me favour in my businesses and career. My prayers are answered faster and my spiritual gifts are stronger. For these alone, I am steady on the celibacy matter. But Stella, I know people wey don give still marry, still dey happy, some even carry belle before marriage. So which level sef na? I tire oh!

I dey meet guys oh! Correct. But what happens? They come with respect - of course after seeing my online profile and all that. But once they get close and friendly with me, they start to see me finish. From nowhere, disrespect and taking for granted will start. Person wey dey ginger before, go just dey puff up like say e dey do me favour. Of course, no woman wants to be treated like an option by her significant other.

They say don’t focus on looks, and I obeyed. They said don’t focus on money, I say okay. They say look at his potential, not his present; I try that one. They say to be feminine, I try that one. Yet, na dey I dey so.

The annoying part is that they don’t leave me alone completely. Some even come back years later with loooooong apologies. I even feel bad when they come back with those rubbish explanations because I see it as adding insult to injury. Why?

 The ONLY reason you are coming back to try and explain is that you can still see me bearing my maiden name, no husband in sight. If you came and saw me as “Mrs. Somebody”, you would save your explanation and move on to the next available person. No be their fault.

I stopped dating for 3 years and recently tried again earlier this year. SAME THING! He came with so much respect and caution. I was thanking God. The moment I got vulnerable and showed the simple, chatty, playful side of me that people in public don’t see; he changed. I was a little confused how fast it happened.

I broke up twice, he came begging. As a Christian, I accepted and gave myself another chance. Yet.... the same energy. So I sent a text, telling him I did not like what he is doing because I had complained before. Do you know what he did? He came back with insults. No apology or explanation – INSULT. Raining all sorts of insults on me for weeks. It was very draining. God knows that the only reason e no too pain me na because I no give kpekus

People who know me don’t believe I am single. Some think that I am hiding my boo. Others say na over-selection dey cause me not to marry because I am beautiful. They don’t know how hard I have tried to date but it never comes to that point.

I read about narcissistic abuse years ago and concluded that I was attracting narcissists; which is why I stopped dating. But Stella, these men go on to marry women wey…. No be say them too fine or them dey so so so heavenly fantastic. Normal correct babes, like me too. And, they respect these women and treat them like eggs. It is very hurtful to see someone who treated you with disregard, go on to treat someone else better. In fact, you even look like a liar when you tell others what you experienced. So you have no choice but to suffer in silence, hurt and heal.

This recent breakup really touched me. I think I am growing bitter because of it. I have asked myself: what is it about me that makes guys take me for granted? Normally, in relationships, small see-finish must enter both ways, when you start to peel off the initial layers. But I am tired of going through these cycles of disrespect. It is wearing me out, I cannot lie. Even the bible says: hope deferred, makes the heart sick.

I know you have some senior aunties on your blog who may be able to advise. I really want to know how it is done. How do you make a man respect you all the way to the altar? Is it that I am not vetting the men in my life properly or is there another formula to this thing? I am a very simple person, compare to my online persona, because I come from a humble background. So those values are still in me. Only those who come close get to see them. Is this also my undoing?

I hope that you post.


Hmmmm this does not sound normal but then it could be that abusive men are the only ones you are attracted to....... let me ask you, do you date only a particular kind of men? Have you tried dating a man with low income? Broke men respect and love very well and in the mean time before they get their break through you can decide if you want to marry them or not...

Another trick would be to flaunt your net work and watch how their tongues drop like a hungry dog in front of its owner....


  1. Lady T /worth more than a thousand dollars14 July 2023 at 15:09

    Dear poster, you seem, to have a good relationship with God. Why not ask him for one of his sons. The one he knows will be good for you.

    Don't settle for less, you are a good person from your post. Of course no one is perfect. But be careful. Marriage can make you or mar you.

    1. In these last days, being single might be in your best interest; God might be preserving you from losing your soul. Being married and raising children in today's world is extremely difficult-especially if you live abroad. If you understand the times as a believer you would realize that Luke 23:28-29 is the season we are in. Focus on making Heaven o, nothing dey earth...

    2. Poster, let me copy and paste part of a reply I gave down there: "There are many possibilities for her results, part of it could be spiritual manipulation or even God's preservation. I have a married friend in this same abroad who called me crying that the only sex her husband wants is a..l. I told her do you know that God hates the UNNATURAL use of the body? She said yes. I reminded her that a..l s.x is sodomy and God says he hates the act. Many people have re-interpreted Scriptures to say it's ok between a man and a woman but the truth is that any form of a..l penetration is an abomination before God. My friend in this instance might miss Heaven if she persists in displeasing God to preserve her marriage..."

    3. Hmmmm!

      Settle your spirit husband

      Some of those ladies you admire put in small efforts they won't tell u.

      Life is complicated sometimes

    4. @ 16:02 you just spoke my mind! I am already 47! If I realised early, what you know! It would have saved me from unnecessary associations
      My dear poster just focus on your job and celibacy and leave marriage alone! Is satan's ministry right now, against the chosen ones. I have billionaires as friends and family! Find your purpose in Christ and destroy evil covenants and altars speaking against your happiness. Leave man matter for now! When things clear out! A chosen one like yourself will find you. Those people you think are married and happy, aside those founded in Christ are breeding satanic offsprings! No need! The time now is quarter to rapture. Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

    5. Let me tell you poster, not all battles you can fight alone.
      You see the things happening around you, it's deep.

      Break and destroy any form of marital rejection, cancel any evil utterances made against you by your friends, relatives, neighbours, etc. LIBERATE yourself from any entanglement you associated in, knowingly or unknowingly
      You never can tell. You need serious prayers and don't settle for less no matter what.

    6. My mind went to spirit husband manipulation of the guys too.
      Pray hard for God to release you from the clutches of this very jealous and destructive demon.

    7. She doesn't have any spirit husbands.

      The lack of sex is what is paining them. That is why she said the guy gave her no explanation but just insults๐Ÿ˜…
      He was too ashamed to reveal the reason behind his sickening anger. He thought she was going to give in to fornication after a while but he saw that she did not budge and he felt he wasted his time dating her and he hated her๐Ÿ˜…

      The guys just went for someone that could give them sex. Dazall! If she keeps refusing sex that is how they will leave her and be marrying others like them till God says,"IT IS TIME"
      God sees everything and he is watching her to see if she would sacrifice her chastity for marriage.

      The way it is right now, i doubt if God is too keen on marriages, sef. Most marriages and their foundations do not honour him.

      The foundations aren't like what it was before and that is contradictory considering that the marriage institution was created for God's worship. As it is right now, it is easier for a single guy or lady to live a life of pure worship and holiness unto God than do it in marriage when they are unequally yoked. The poster is dating guys that do not see anything wrong with engaging in premarital sex and those kind of guys will not see anything wrong with a lot of other sins.

    8. ❤️18:25

    9. Poster, I totally understand what you are going through, I got married mid 30s as well, I'm not sure of the spirit husband angle but I recommend going traditional, just like what Teejay said a while back, not every traditional remedy is negative or jazz, some are actually genuine.

      Please, try and get a genuine and trusted traditional healer (preferably around your hometown/area) and see how it goes. Keep an open mind and don't do anything your spirit doesn't agree with. Please, discard this suggestion if it doesn't agree with you but remember this life is much deeper than what we can see.

    10. Poster please don't settle for less because of what you have experienced. Ask God for guidance and note* that even when you pray the devil will still project a wrong person to you but it is the knowledge of the word of God that will help you discern if the person is truly whom God wants for you or not. Remember,as a devoted child of God , you should not be equally yoked with an unbeliever. Secondly, it is not everybody you see in church that are genuinely serving God. Don't ever allow anybody to come and rush marriage within a very short period of dating. Many of them that come in that manner usually have dangerous traits that they probably do not want you to discover till you are legally married. He is a pastor is not a guarantee that he will be free from having those dangerous narcissistic traits.

      For a fact, the church parks the highest number of narcissists. You may never know until you relate with them very closely, check their previous relationships and you will see that it was a disaster. Those guys don't know anything about relationship. They like to be lording over their spouse.

      Forget that thing you are saying that they are happily married and are worshipping their women blabla. All that you see them do is for public display. They are very good at that. You don't just want to know how these people deal with themselves indoors and come to feign happy marriage in public. I am telling you these things from experences and the onces I have withnessed. They know how to cover up in public especially when they have an image to protect.

      I wanted to share some stories with you but no time to type.

      Don't trade the joy you have in the Lord for anything like a disastrous marriage. Keep dating and you will find the right man for you. Always put it in prayers for God to direct the right man to you. Let him find you.
      Many people are looking for the privilege to see vissions like you. Make use of the gift for the purpose of marriage and please don't be desperate.

      Remember that the bible says; he who does not have faith cannot please God. Incase you don't know, it annoys God when a believer begins to doubt Him. I can see that your faith in him on the aspect of marriage is not solid so how do you espect to get a divinly orchestrated marriage from God with the kind of shrinking faith you have? Do you know that will your level of spiritually you will get alot of temptations especially in marriage and relationship. Those things are there to test your faith but do not relent. Get off evey iota of doubt in you to enable God do his work. No man is wiser than God. He means it when he says 'He will give us an expected end' that is if you don't doubt. I wanted to point the books of the bible you should read to learn more about faith but I can't seem to remember the exact ones. Please read from the book of Ephesians to Hebrews you will learn how to totally rely on God. Don't just pick one verse and read and make sure you read the whole book of Isaiah and Jeremiah. As you read, ensure to pick out those words that you will hold God with whenever you pray.

      When ever the Lord wants to release His blessings on his devoted children the devil appears and presents what looks like what you have been looking for but if you are not patient enough to ask God if truly that blessing is coming from Him, you will make a mistake. When they come make sure you seek God's opinion about them. I thank God you are not giving in to sex so it will be easy for God to let you know if they are for you or not.

    11. Remember you are a child of God. You should not fear what others fear, don't think like them unless you don't really believe in Him and that is where you will see God turn his face against you for ever doubting Him. You keep praying without results that's because the faith is not totally dependent in Him. You are praying and your mind is telling you that God may not be able to do it. That is why many Christians make mistakes. I have made my mistakes and have learnt from them. Also, my recent approach to studying the word has made me understand God better. I am not there yet but I know Him better now and am not ready to trade this new relationship with God for anything.

      Your man will meet you or you will meet him. Whichever way. He may be working on your man to be a better person for you ๐Ÿคจ so that when you meet you will enjoy him better. "When you pray, believe that you have received it" "He is not a man that He should lie, neither is He son of man that He should repent, whatever He says is what He will do, He cannot promise what He cannot do'

      I know that people will be telling you about spiritual husband issue. Don't mind them, read the word of God and you will know who you are in Christ. Your body is the temple of the holy spirit, the spirit of God cannot share a temple with an evil spirit. Did you see any spiritual husband in the bible? Please don't believe them. Read your bible and believe only What is in it. You have the ability to hear from God so stick to it . Don't go to deliverance anywhere else they worsen your case and the holyspirit will shift aside since you don't trust His work in you

      In all you do, remember you have a Good relationship with God; don't make the mistake of marrying someone that will take you away from the privilege of worshipping God on a spiritual level. You know what I mean. You are not like other people and you know that. So don't go for what other people are going for. They can never understand the level of connection you have with God and how interesting it is. You would'nt want to loose that privilege I tell you. Satan is always where the presence of God is and immediately you loose guard he will strike. Watch out for what the devil will present to you, they will look like it but make sure you are sensitive enough to see the red flags.

      May God see you through.

    12. @19:04 you are a liar from the pit of hell! Poster never take this advise! No other ways but Christ Jesus! Don't ever compromise! I will advise you to look for a strong mfm branch to be attending and focus on your personal prayer. Don't stress yourself to go to prayer city because there are agents everywhere! What you are dealing with is serious marine covenant from your foundation! No matter the country I go,they appear and before I know,I am back in Nigeria! My dear the next stage the spirit will attack your wealth ,when it can't get you to live the evil life style planned! Never go to prophets, there are fakes everywhere! You must find a comiitted mfm pastor, to take up your case .Shalom

    13. 18:25
      What of the men she slept with.
      Not all the men are leaving because of no sx.
      Is there a character issue?

    14. 00:18 i see you think it is all those who got married that has good character.
      Lots of ill-mannered people are married. People whose attitude stinks with zero decorum.

      When she had sex she and those she dated were probably young at the time and the guys she did it with did not have marriage in view at the time compared to now that she is older.

    15. Poster, as I was reading your post, I thought I was the one that sent it in unknowingly.
      This is exactly what I am going through, so I'll read comments too and see if there's something I am not doing right.

  2. What do you mean by disrespect? You keep hammering on disrespect but you still haven’t said how you were disrespected.
    Sis, please let your pride go and don’t be too rigid.

    1. Which I could hook up with my brother. He's gainfully employed but too soft and sees life too simple. A strong Christian too. If you want to try it out, reply my comment.

    2. Thank you
      She keeps saying disrespect without telling us what they did in specific terms. She is proud.
      No spirit husband or evil forces are following her, she is the cause of her problem.

    3. Thank you.
      As soon as she let herself go, they disrespect her. Maybe they let themselves go too. But she may be used to formal respect.

      It is better to be genuinely liked than be formally respected.

    4. Spot on. She seems like a proud person that is too fixated on her beauty, wealth and achievements. She probably looks down on the men and feel like they are privileged to date someone of her caliber. She might not say it outrightly but the energy she gives off.

  3. People can smell desperation from afar. Keep your hopes alive.
    When the man who deserves you come into your life. Every narative changes. It happens when you least expect it.

    1. It looks like she appeared desperate to them. Zaram you are right. I wanted to include it but decided to skip it.

    2. Dear poster, please don't mind these people talking about desperation. If she was so desperate, why isn't she spreading her legs for them? Rubbish. Please, Some people are bad and it's not your fault. I am having the same issues like you are and I will be 35 in a few months. I will find time to send Stella my own story.

  4. Have you prayed against ancestral marine alters? Because such alters will give you wealth and everything else but a life patner

    1. Another Christian wey sabi sighted!

    2. So you are saying that she is Godly and her wealth is from marina Kingdom and not from God.

      God have mercy on you.

    3. Poster, your body is the temple of the holy spirit. Unless there are some sin you commit in secret. If not be assured that your body is the temple of the holy spirit and no other spirit can claim supremacy over you. Don't even reason the evil spirit matter, just keep praying that God should fill you with His spirit. You got to keep burning in the fire of the holy spirit -in prayers and don't fail to always remind God of His promises to His children anytime you pray. When you pray, believe without any doubt in your mind.

      Everybody will not marry in their twenties, just follow God's direction. All these things are set just to test your level of faith because you are unique. The devil is not happy with you so bear in mind that he will fight tooth and nail to see that you backslide. When you finally pass the testing time God will show up. This is what happens to every believer. There is definitely going to be a time of testing. Be grateful to God that yours is just marriage. What of those of us that are still struggling with finance even in our 30's . Some children of God are suffering other life's challenges, but God always come through for those that never stop trusting Him. He who endures till the end will wear the crown of glory.

      When you keep thinking about these things you won't get them. Take your mind off it and go on with your life but always put it in prayers, because God already know our problems even before we ask; just that he wants us to always make the request and trust Him for answer. I believe He knows the right time to answer you. It will happen in a day you don't expect

      You only need a Godly advice not this that the anon wrote there.

    4. 19:30 just leave them with their mentality

  5. Poster you are PROUD.
    Which one be disrespect that you’re chanting up and down???
    It is men that want respect o.
    When you’re at work you can demand for respect.

    See finish must dey for friendship not to talk of relationship. It’s no big deal. That’s how you get to know the real person you’re with.

    Be humble and watch your love life flourish. ✌๐Ÿฝ

    1. So a woman should be treated like shit? Not surprised by this mentality, garbage in,garbage out.

    2. Gbam!!!
      Poster listen to this.

    3. She is not! Poster you know yourself more than anyone else.
      Don't lower your standards because you want to snag a man.
      Don't allow people's definition of you define how you see yourself .

    4. I like this poster, Babe exudes confidence, abeg! Poster keep being yourself. Your God-given man would love you for it.๐Ÿ˜˜

    5. You are wrong! Everyone deserves respect even children.

      Poster, sometimes when you dont give sex, they try to cut you down to size to see if you would break so they act aggressive (at that point Anyways, I know deep down they are not concerned but just worried that my u friendliness won't let them get close to me to carry out their selfish interest hence their complaints. cut them off) that is what you noticed. It is a game but you are too soft and you dont put them in their place.

      You are not getting it. See ehn, Fornication is the problem. Look, the fact that you are not having sex should tell you, a lot of guys would leave you and some would be spiteful.

      Also, One thing i noticed is, most people who experience breakup often dont realise that when a break up happens it is a beautiful sign that the right person for you is still in front so they end up feeling bad and taking it the wrong way. Every man or woman you meet will not be for you.

      Poster, they married those ladies because they are for them and who knows maybe they agree to fornication. The truth is still that, they both fit themselves. Same belief, lifestyles and what's not.
      Do you know how many men they had met before those guys settled for them? Your own will come but it will never be another's but your own. However make sure you share same beliefs, Same values and morals. Do that and half your problem is solved.

      If you are for God and you refuse to let those guys go he will make them leave you by themselves one way or the other. You will repulsed them and they would flee from you. That is God pushing you away.
      He will make them push you away since you have refused to push them away due to weakness.

      Second secret,: before you date anyone. When you meet a guy asking you out. Pray and fast first and take his name to God in prayer. If he is not the one, God will reveal it to you since you already said you have spiritual gifts. Doing so will prevent you from dating time-wasters. You are not using your gifts in your spiritual life.
      Is it a gift of dream? If i may ask. If yes, then this should be easy.

    6. Correct ๐Ÿ’ฏ "he will make them push you away since you have refused to push them away due to weakness " This is just how God works for His children

  6. The poster is the common denominator, she typed all that and not one mention of her own bad traits, talk to the lady in the mirror and ask her to check what's making those men not get married to her but still end of getting married to other ladies.

    1. You are wrong! Everyone deserves respect even children.

      Poster, sometimes when you dont give sex, they try to cut you down to size to see if you would break so they act aggressive (at that point Anyways, I know deep down they are not concerned but just worried that my u friendliness won't let them get close to me to carry out their selfish interest hence their complaints. cut them off) that is what you noticed. It is a game but you are too soft and you dont put them in their place.

      You are not getting it. See ehn, Fornication is the problem. Look, the fact that you are not having sex should tell you, a lot of guys would leave you and some would be spiteful.

      Also, One thing i noticed is, most people who experience breakup often dont realise that when a break up happens it is a beautiful sign that the right person for you is still in front so they end up feeling bad and taking it the wrong way. Every man or woman you meet will not be for you.

      Poster, they married those ladies because they are for them and who knows maybe they agree to fornication. The truth is still that, they both fit themselves. Same belief, lifestyles and what's not.
      Do you know how many men they had met before those guys settled for them? Your own will come but it will never be another's but your own. However make sure you share same beliefs, Same values and morals. Do that and half your problem is solved.

      If you are for God and you refuse to let those guys go he will make them leave you by themselves one way or the other. You will repulsed them and they would flee from you. That is God pushing you away.
      He will make them push you away since you have refused to push them away due to weakness.

      Second secret,: before you date anyone. When you meet a guy asking you out. Pray and fast first and take his name to God in prayer. If he is not the one, God will reveal it to you since you already said you have spiritual gifts. Doing so will prevent you from dating time-wasters. You are not using your gifts in your spiritual life.
      Is it a gift of dream? If i may ask. If yes, then this should be easy.

    2. She might be too uptight. She may not also have a good sense of humour.she keeps mentioning disrespect. Loosen up dear life is not that deep

    3. 15:19 My message at 16:13 was for anon 15:15 above you.

    4. Anon 16:13 God Bless you. Poster please read. The reason they're getting married is because they fit themselves. Same lifestyle, same belief. They believe in sex before marriage, you do not believe in it. Please keep it up. Celibacy gives peace of mind ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    5. Anon 15:19, she might not have any "bad traits," not everyone has bad traits. Bad people always think everyone is like them and can't be good. There are many possibilities for her results, part of it could be spiritual manipulation or even God's preservation. I have a married friend in this same abroad who called me crying that the only sex her husband wants is a..l. I told her do you know that God hates the UNNATURAL use of the body? She said yes. I reminded her that a..l s.x is sodomy and God says he hates the act. Many people have re-interpreted Scriptures to say it's ok between a man and a woman but the truth is that any form of a..l penetration is an abomination before God. My friend in this instance might miss Heaven if she persists in displeasing God to preserve her marriage...

    6. 16:19 she can't force a humour that is not in her. She can't be someone else a man will love her for another thing. Everybody cannot be humorous. There are other character traits that she posses that her own man will find attractive. If she is not humorous her husband will be.

      Sadist are even getting married talkles of a good girl.
      She should stop being desperate. Stop showing desperation. Value yourself, love, and treat your man with the same energy he treats you. Don't do more than him until you are legally married

    7. 16:27, did poster tell you that they had premarital sex before marriage?
      ITK dey worry you

    8. And did she tell you that they did not? Oversabi dey worry you๐Ÿ˜

  7. Honest truth! Your significant other hasn’t come. Be steadfast and patient with God. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop the mental and emotional torture. Stop the desperate needing you consciously put out there. Also, ask yourself honest questions and seek God to reveal the truth to you. Finally, don’t reduce yourself nor your standards. When it’s time, the lines will fall in pleasant places for you.

    1. This is the whole, gospel truth. The time and season for your marriage hasn't come. Do you think the God who gave you all you have now and are thankful for will leave you without a partner to call your own?
      WAIT for Him, don't hasten up the process or go ahead of God. He'll do it in HIS TIME!

    2. ๐Ÿ‘ 15:23

  8. Please, you need to know God's stance on this, you need Him more than ever.
    The waiting period is hard, I understand some of the things you wrote up there.
    I pray God grants you a noble son of His

  9. Hmnn, choosing the right partner is more spiritual than physical. It's something that should be prayerfully done not just based on physical or outward appearance.

    The heart of man is desperately wicked and only God can know the true intentions of any human.

    Why not go to him, the same way God has been talking to you about your business, career and other people's problems is the same way he will talk to you about your life partner.
    Don't make any move till he does.
    Please go back to God.

  10. Hmmm
    Poster ask God to reveal the problem or solution to you.
    In the meantime pls don't flaunt your entire worth o, to avoid thieves in form of suitors.

  11. My dear you are not alone, I am having the same problem, in fact when I am not so nice and friendly especially before the guys get to know me very well, they treat me with love and respect. They want to take care of me but as soon as they get close and see am very soft and caring and vulnerable they start disrespecting me. They act like they are doing me a favor. Let me also read comments and learn.

    1. You are proud too
      Get down from your high horse
      Be humble

  12. Hmm I tire o.
    This life no balance at all.
    Poster have you tried dating different guys in different classes and age?
    I'm in same age bracket as you and I'm not rich like you, but I found out younger guys are the ones who are serious with me, maybe it's cos of my petite size and even if I tell them my age they don't mind. And they are respectful, althought not rich but they are growing in heir business and career.
    I have decided to settle with one of them.
    Thing is the rich mature single dudes are so full of themselves and so disrespectful, and then there are the married ones who won't mind their business.
    Just pray for God's will to be done.

    1. I'm also in the same boat, I don't know why it's the younger guys that are very serious with me, I mean guys that are way younger, it's unnerving, and they don't seem to mind the age difference, had to tell one yesterday that it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I were to accept his proposal. I'm not really comfortable with the age gap Tbh...

  13. I perfectly understand how you feel,am also in my mid 30's and with a very good career,money and all the luxury of life without a husband,after my latest experience,I have come to a conclusion whatever is yours won't need you to stress yourself out, emotionally, physically, financially and otherwise,I see men greet them respectfully and move on with my life,it's weird right but peace of mind is better than dating or marrying a man that will give you the drama of your life.The men are now writing application for marriage,me I know send anybody work,if you want to marry me come and see my parents,my goal now is to live a happy drama free life,I hide my money from most men,because these days the real gold diggers are the ones that used to point and call women gold diggers at the slightest opportunity.Just live your life marriage will come when you don't even want it,right now am not even in the mood to marry,and suitors are all over,when I was ready I didn't even have a relationship.Just relax.

    1. When stella said she should open up about her net worth it’s just wrong. Only gold diggers will come for her .you can’t pay for love only thrash

  14. Poster, you will get married. You will. It's easy from my side telling you to be calm but that's about it. What you're passing through will be a child's play compared to you marrying down, getting disrespected and probably being abused physically.

    I know at this stage, you don't mind where the man comes from but you would have stylishly included it in the post and where you want your man to come from.

    There's nothing like dress well, smile often, hang out. Be your self and include Psalms in your prayers.

    You will marry. You will.

    Good luck.

  15. Be grateful for the 99. trust the same God that gave you all these for the only one thing left!!

  16. Without sex on the table, 95% of men will misbehave , both to older and younger women. Its not about your age sis.

    Nigerian men love to humiliate women.How , if you may ask?

    1. Once you give them sex, they will hire a side chick to make you compete for their fake love.
    2. You dont need their money, so no room to abuse or control you with their change.
    Since you dont fall within the bucket of women they can humiliate, they cannot stand you. For everyone of them that has dissappointed you, say a prayer of thanksgiving to God. It was not meant to be.
    God will bring your own. So many marriages are a smokescreen, Sooo many. So dont assume they are treating their spouses well, its just to the extent that you can see.

    Even when they behave well, look deeper to avoid being deceived. The heart of man is desperately evil.
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. HE will complete your joy.

    1. Thank you. I’m not the poster but you have touched my heart with your comment.

    2. This generalization of "Nigerian men" gets me really depressed.

    3. @21:46
      Yet the generalisation of Nigerian women here by some Bvs provokes angst to no end.

      Can a Nigerian woman raised by a Nigerian man be better than the man? Is "gigo" no applicable in such a case?

    4. I'm a Nigerian man. I don't overvalue sex. In fact, I waited for my wife for 2 years , before we got married.

      I'm not a Pastor or one very spiri coco guy. However, I respected her enough and didn't pressurize her for sex.

      I met her as a Virgin and we only had sex after marriage. She was also in her mid 30s.

      There are many Nigerian men like me.

    5. 1:17 clearly, you play for the other team

    6. 01:17 God bless your marriage anon.
      Clearly, self-control is an alien concept to some.

  17. Daughter of zion, thou shalth ask thy self what all the sons of men complained about thee.
    Thou shalth sit thy self before a mirror and ask thee if sons of men complaints are synonymous and true. Be sincere with thy self.
    If true, thou shalth changeth thy behaviour.
    If not true, thou shalth be calm and steadfast with pray and wait until God's time.


    1. Thou hath closeth the case!

  18. Not removing the importance of the message but I think those shouting men are scum are not completely correct! The poster has almost everything but she's feeling unfulfilled. She can give a substantial part of her wealth to be married and what does that say? Answer for yourself

  19. Poster you are great,yea! But You have this vibe of “Don’t mess with me cos I laughed with you today”..

    You know that vibe of someone you can’t even throw a simple joke at,without her feeling you are disrespecting her? Yea..and you further take this “Bossy Vibes” to your relationships.

    Men have their own stress;and no man wants a wife he will return home to and still be on the edge always while communicating..

    You don’t think you have a problem,and to you every other person is the problem except yourself(from your tone in this chronicle)..

    Men are attracted to you,but when they come closer to you and spend quality time;they realize they can’t live with those Vibes of yours..yes you have your good sides when the days are good too

    Its not a spiritual problem,calm down small,you are not showing off assets but character wise the “don’t play with me” vibes are visible..

    Also try to listen to someone you care about,and take corrections where necessary,you seem not to care about your man’s opinion..

    Hope this helps..


    1. You nailed it Martins… you nailed it!

    2. Thanks Martins. Poster you are emitting male masculinity and energy. No man wants someone who will be in competition with them. You can have all you say, maintain your standard and respect and still be in your feminine elements. I noticed you display this superiority complex, ask God to humble your heart and keep smiling..

      Wait on God's time to reveal the right one to you without idols in your heart. You keep mentioning your age, God does not care about that. Who told you it is late or too old...God is in the business of performing miracles. Check yourself and do a daily audit on your character traits and temprament.

    3. This martins ehhn wise beyond his years. Very true what you said about poster

    4. Poster, Martin sounds like the average Nigerian man.

      Their watchword is DOMINANCE in relationships and marriage.

      That's why most of them are hooked with pretentious wives!

      If you want anyhow person; pretend too! And you may have to close eyes and do so if you live in Nigeria.

      Funny enough; when they marry those girls pretending, many of them just put babies in their bellies and go outside and be seeking for fierce ladies to hang around.

      Just be intentional if JUST being Mrs and bearing kids is what you want out of a MAN.

      PS you maybe lucky and hit jackpot with one of them who will dominate and still be kind

    5. So much wisdom in what you said Martins. Better look in the mirror poster, there is just a thin line between confidence and pride. They should respect u upandan. How about the respect u give to the men? Or u feel they should worship u cos of ur looks and accomplishments? No man wants an extra bossy chic so try to imbibe humility, pray more and see ur success as a gift of grace. Nobody dey see u finish, na u carry ego for head

    6. Martins
      I said this below before reading your comment.
      She sounds proud.
      She has not said anything reasonable that the men did that made her to break up with them.
      What did they do? Nothing!
      She only mentioned disrespect, what type of disrespect? Nothing!
      She was the problem in those relationships that broke up.
      No man wants a woman that is too serious, that they will be walking on eggshells while with them. See her saying when she starts laughing with them, they disrespect her.
      If she truly wants marriage like she is saying up there, she has to humble herself and let her sure down in the relationship.
      I'm a woman btw


    7. ...and let her hairs down in a relationship*

    8. Thanks Martin.
      My issue is this: how come I am always the one breaking up with them? Why do they always come back with apologies after leaving? This is my main issue here.
      If they broke up with me, by now I will connect the dots. Go, no. Behave yourself, no. So what do I do? Sit down and waste our time?
      For me it’s better you and clear the way so that I can focus on other things. You can have a rethink and decide what exactly you want. Afterall, men know what they (don’t) want. No be so?
      As for listening to people’s opinions, many people are not sincere. Also, I recently stopped being a listening ear to people’s issues because it was not helping me emotionally. They will take advantage of that. Do you know how it feels to be a listening ear to someone then they would go and marry someone else after sharing all their problems with you and getting advice? Some will even want to reach out for emotional support when they have issues post-marriage, because they know say you dey “see small things”.
      Please if you are a single woman don’t do it oh! Real men share their plans not their problems. That thing is a sign of emotional instability. Don’t let anyone use you as an emotional reservoir. RUUUUUUNN!!!

    9. Slim shaddy your comment is very encouraging. Thank you. Truly doubt has been a thing for me. I will work on it.

      Thanks anon 20:36 and everyone else

  20. Lol..

    You don give ex kpekus, e come reach present bobo turn you dey hoard am come dey say make him respect you with konji wey won finish am..
    2 things, him go dey vex say you no be virgin you come dey punish am.. secondly, him go dey feel say you won use the kpekus manipulate/force am into marrying you..

    2ndly, you don't lack men that want to marry you, you probably aim for some certain kind of men due to your status, ego and all.. na wetin dey do many lawyer babes too, from school dem don dey feel special for that white and black wey dem dey wear, dem go come dey feel say them pass other students wey dey other departments, except medicine tho..
    Na why most lawyer females dey end up marrying male lawyers, cos their pride no go won allow them submit to 'lay men' unless na Real Man of value.. you need to spread your tentacles and cast your net wider, cos those men wey you dey target no be the types wey you think say go humble the way you want.. especially with your rules.. many other babes too wey tight dey target them also and dem dey drop kpekus, what value do you add to them that you expect them choose you over the others..

    Well, na senior aunties you ask for their opinion.. na oversabi dey worry me.. I know sayy opinion no count.. No vex

    1. To a godly man she has values others don't have. High moral standing is rare in today's world. She should look for a man who share same godly values as hers. He would gladly pick her over other girls who are tight according to you but share kpekus.

      Godly not religious. She is fishing from the wrong boat and that is her main issue. Dating worldly men and expecting godly standard.
      Poster, you are going through what virgins, celibate men and women go through. You seem surprised because it is a new terrain but just like others who came out victorious you would too.

    2. 16.24

      If you say so, well it's your opinion, if I was one of those guys, those are probably what my reasons would be.. maybe I'm wordly๐Ÿ™‚

      However, I also think she has lots of pride, as you can see from my second paragraph.. she dey find am hard to submit, ma why she dey complain of respect up and down..
      Make she calm down oh..
      No be she FESS get all those levels..
      Babes dey with all those accomplishments and more and them dey humble and submit to man wey no get reach them but him solid.. the truth is if she's looking for a single young guy who has accomplished more than her, her options are limited..

      But the sisterhood here don kuku advice am say make she no date 'down', as she dey up๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚..

      Ok oh.. If she won take their advice.. no wahala

    3. Stray bullet has met female lawyers!

      Oga the world doesn't revolve around penis

    4. Yes, you are still in the world, Dante. The desire of your flesh overrules your desire to please God and be chaste.
      You are still a work in progress, I pray you get to that level of holiness just like this lady where you will turn ladies down when they try to push you to indulge in sexual immorality so as to please God. When God says 'A' and you continue to do 'B' without even bothering to stop or thriving to then you are still in the world.

      I won't say she has pride simply because she has set a standard for the kind of men she wants. Because I am someone who always advice people to always go for their type not just spiritually but in other areas of life. If you look up there in my comment I advised her to go for her type and stop fishing in the wrong boat. This is because i do not joke with compatibility.

      If she decides to date down i would only agree when it comes to looks because after a while you only see the character and looks does not really matter. Besides i have dated down before and trust me, it was not worth it except you date a man with a very high self-esteem who won't feel insecure and read meanings to every little thing.
      Simply because a man is below your standard doesn'mean he is a good man or he will treat you right. Some feel emasculated, some insecure, some feel slighted and inferior. Dating a man below your standards comes with a lot of baggage you would have to unpack. If i tell you my story of dating down you will be shocked. Till i changed my approach and went for what i wanted and I am good. I am not saying all of them are like that but it takes a very self-assured man to take on a woman who've his league. Everyone both men and women should date their standards. It creates ease, prevent clashes of worldviews, reduces unnecessary friction and leads to smooth sailing of the relationship.

      That aside, I also do not see anything that indicated she could not submit like you implied. I will appreciate if you could point it out to me because her quoted statements below says otherwise,
      "They say don’t focus on looks, and I obeyed. They said don’t focus on money, I say okay. They say look at his potential, not his present; I try that one. They say to be feminine, I try that one. Yet, na dey I dey so".

    5. One more thing i forgot to add Dante, did you read where she said they come back to beg her after many years later? If she was that bad why come back? If there were other ladies of high value of them out there why return to her?

      The men aren't a price either. They go and come back only to find out she still won't engage in fornication so they go away. Immorality is their problem.

    6. 18.06

      I'm in the world, and you sef is in the world.. ABI na heaven you dey?๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„..
      Maybe you should learn the difference between being in the world and being of the world fess before using it on people ๐Ÿ™„

      You see her repeating'respect' and 'see finish' up and down, tho she didn't give examples but what I can deduce from it is that she want make those guys dey still dey use the eyes of her accomplishments look am for house,. Same way some female lawyers dey carry the 'i know my right' attitude into their husbands house๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.. from my guess, the see finish and lack of respect comes in when they'll expect her to cook for them, park their plate to the kitchen after eating, sending her on domestic errands etc etc.. I believ I have answered your question concerning pride here..

      I'm not here to argue with anybody, so ma fi ejo pami.. na just my own opinion I talk, if you no go take am, abeg drop it like it's hot๐Ÿ™

    7. 18.19

      Coming back after marriage is nothing. It's not cos they are seeing her worth or something.. they're just still trying their luck to see if they'll hit dat'.. they have nothing to lose

    8. 18.06..

      Chaste wey she no chaste when she dey younger oh.. she come reach mid 30s na that time she come dey do celibacy..

      Una think say men no dey reason bah?๐Ÿ˜‚
      You think say na only you don test that format for 'late hours' to hoard kpekus from guy, forming born again, celibacy etc etc bah?

      Dey play..

      You better be thanking me for bringing out this honest yarns wey many guys no dey gree talk out to avoid Una wahala..

      Make I dey go abeg.. I no talk again before I find trouble more than the one wey I don already bargain for๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

    9. 18:19

      Seems like you forgot to add the part that she is asking herself why those men are married to other ladies and they are living happily as couples.
      If those men are bad and disrespectful , their marriage to other ladies won't last and poster won't go back to admire them.

    10. Yes we are all on earth๐Ÿ˜ƒ

      I did not mean it literally when i said 'you are in the world'
      I am well versed and i know the difference but I purposely worded it like that so you won't take offence but it seemed you still did. telling you, you are of the world seemed harsh that is why i did not say it like that to you.

      Why would a lady who wants sex or see nothing wrong with fornication use a 'format' in the first place? When lots of ladies who are engaging in it are being wifed every Saturday. Isn't that counter-productive? When she knows fully well that the people who gets married the most nowadays are those who put out.

      If they felt she was going to give in hence their reason for going back to her and they saw that she still insisted in being celibate, isn't that enough tell-tale sign to let them see that it isn't a format( even if they thought it was before) but a way of life for her now that she is reformed?

      Saying guys do not want to be fooled when a lady claims celibacy is why they don't want to wait for celibate ladies till marriage is not totally true.
      Maybe i would have believed you if i wasn't chaste till marriage and i was just celibate. Even if she was a virgin they would still leave her or date her while going out to have sex with other ladies. They will wait FOR a virgin but not wait WITH her because they don't have similar beliefs.

      Poster should date guys with similar beliefs. They are men too who are celibate you know? Or are they also using format?

      Thanks for stating your reasons even though I am not sure the scenarios (cooking, errands etc) you gave for her being prideful holds water if she doesn't live in Nigeria(because it looks like it) because we have to put into consideration the cultural differences, However i understand since she failed to be specific about her 'disrespect' rants, people would definitely fill the blank spaces with their assumptions.

      I don't understand what you said in the yoruba langauge but with your pleading emojis it's best we just call it a day.

    11. She is looking from the outside. Every single marriages out there looks beautiful and perfect from the outside like a match-made in heaven. Not saying there are not beautiful marriages but hey! Who is to say it is not a case of,
      Their "grass looks greener" from afarrrrrrrrr,

      Judging from her story their marriages aren't all that long so it is early to jump into conclusions though i wish everyone well.
      Besides judging how good a marriage is based on the duration is quite laughable when you wake up sometimes to see or hear a lot of people who recently celebrated 30,40 years anniversary are suddenly getting divorced. Not all long marriages are happy ones

    12. To round up poster, you may think i keep saying you should date guys with similar beliefs like they are everywhere. They maybe few but still more than enough for God to connect them with those who truly wants to walk upright.

      If God can give me one of his sons then he would give you yours too. Before you even date the men that approach you. I believe while being friends they are enough tactics you can use to know if they see sex as part of a dating relationship so you won't bother yourself going deeper into any relationship with them. Don't let them know your stance on premarital sex while trying to figure out their stance. Watch them easily give themselves away. After praying(like i said in the comments. Pray first before you say yes to a dating proposal) and God has given you the go ahead . to be doubly sure. Do not be in a hurry to tell anyone you are waiting so they won't play along and fool you. Don't convince anyone to wait if it didn't come out from his mouth initially.

    13. Dante, dating down the way I understand it is not necessarily about financial capability.
      To me, she shouldn't out of desperation, settle for someone with low moral standard as a devot christian that she is, she should flee from a man who disrespects her, someone who doesn't value her, etc.

      I don't know what other people mean by not dating down though.

    14. And poster in all you do don't let any man know your net worth. Don't make that mistake. People are so hungry so the desperation of men when they meet a financially bouyant woman is now more serious. If possible you should hide your family background if they are wealthy aswell

    15. Hide your net worth but let them know that at least you can eat three square meal a day. Men don't want a woman that has no financial backing. Let them know that you can at least feed three square meal but you are not rich. That's all

    16. 20:48 good advice

  21. Pls don’t date down and don’t flaunt your wealth to them to avoid attracting gold diggers. We ve some from stories here that both usually never end well.
    Check your self well, either you keep attracting same type of men or you don’t carry yourself well in the relationship.
    There’s always room for improvement in both cases.
    Read books on relationships so you can be better equipped. I’d recommend think like a man act like a lady by Steve Harvey.
    Good luck

    1. We have* some. That is not the right way to use "ve"

  22. Nobody has it all in life, everybody has one area of their life that they struggle in. You got looks, education, good health and money, but you get to struggle in love. Someone else with great love may get the struggle with health or money. Someone with money and good health may struggle in the looks department. Nobody truly gets to have it all, at the same time, this is why ppl routinely make deals with dark entities to get things they are lacking, even those who appear to have it all.

    Some years ago I read a story of a Belgian billionaire who was in his 60s. This man had money more than most humans on earth, respect in his industry, staff at his beck and call, one would think he would be satisfied with his life. He wasn’t, he had always been troubled by having a small penis, it bothered him so much he sought out surgery, he died trying to make his penis bigger, a part of his body nobody sees, and the same penis had done it’s work diligently for 60 years without trouble. A ridiculous way to die.

    Be careful of fixating on that part of your life to the point you go invite trouble into your world. If God has been faithful to you why don’t you believe God will not continue to do so. If you are concerned that the opportunity to be a mother may be passing you by, go adopt or go to a sperm bank if you want to know what it feels like to carry a child. Some women have even asked a male friend to donate their sperm, of course with legal paperwork involved. When a man comes he will come you do not have to put your life on hold or put every drop of your sweat into seeking one. You are also bordering on desperation which is never good in love matters. If it bothers you to the point it is on your mind all the time, go find a hobby or volunteer.

  23. Poster you say you are a Christian and serve God with all your heart, where is your faith? sometimes we encounter challenges like this so that our testimonies will be so great,that when you share to people,it may sound as a lie.
    God is not a man that he should lie.he said,if only we have faith then the impossible can become possible.
    Life is spiritual. For any man to succeed and dominate.he must take charge and conquer.You can only do this with prayers and faith(believing you already have that which your heart desires) and equipping yourself with the word of God.
    As long as you keep dwelling on positive thoughts,you will soon attract that which your heart desires.goodluck dear.

  24. Open up your dating to include different nationalities...Go to a mixed Church although most white Christians marry really early or a dating site...those are my surface level advice without dissecting your story..

    1. Poster, take this advice and continue to work on your relationship with Christ.

      Embrace holiness in every aspects of your life.

      Your Dressing, lifestyles, interests and friends etc should radiate Christ. Because looking at the kind of man you want (who will wait till marriage for sex)you have to be very spiritual beyond being just celibacy to enjoy your relationship with him when he appears. They don't go for women who have traits that worldy guys admires. They may come around and feel you are not good enough for them if your celibacy is the only hallmark of your holiness.
      Make sure you are your type's type in all entirety.

  25. You need strong prayers to break that "Pattern" Then step out and cast your net. Till then, that pattern keeps Cycling. Pls Wake up

  26. From what you wrote on your relationship with God , if you pray and God has been answering your prayer in other area will a faithful God refuse to answer you in the area of marriage?
    God is the author of Marriage and it is the will of God for his children .
    Having a spiritual gift does not meaning someone is living right with God ,
    There are many christian ladies that have setup idols in their hearts. They have the spec or standard or the type of guys they want that even if God shows or tells them their husband they will say No . Ezekiel 14:1-7

    Many are being deceived by those march making single seminars they attended.

    Getting Godly husband is very simple ,
    Humble yourself before God
    Take away idol from your heart
    Be open unto God , He knows the best for you. If you ask he will surely answer you , tell him to give the best he has for you .
    One Day i will share my story
    I am happly married not what i wanted but what God want for me, i have peace of mind. I met my wife in danfo bus at palmgrove. I heard his voice clearly, the rest is history .
    When i see real christian brothers or sisters struggling in the area of marriage the fault is not God but them don't think there is any spiritual forces behind it. You have power to change your story and it will before Ending of this year in Jesus name

    1. Nice advice but sometimes, after all said and done, It may not just be their time yet.

      Not everyone will get married before their 30s. God's plan for people's lives are marked differently. God's time for people to hit different milestones in their lives are different.
      Not everyone of same age will marry the same time,
      Not everyone who got married same time will give birth same time
      Not everyone who gave birth same time will get same gender or same number of children.

    2. @kavetal it worries me too. How I can see things in other aspects of life and be spiritually blind when it comes to marriage. Truly, ALL power belongs to God

      But I will check my heart and see if there are any idols.

    3. Amen, thank you.

    4. Kavetal and 18:61 you have good points

  27. No need of showing your net worth it can be dangerous,av seen were a guy who knows the Lady's net worth hired robbers to rob the lady, unfortunately for them they were caught and they confessed the guy of sending them to rob the lady....Just pray for God's direction... Josaria

  28. Poster you sound familiar. Are you dT.? If yes, reply with the first letter of your surname and I’d reach out to you. Keep your head up. You are doing great.

    1. They have come o
      Are you lagbaja?
      Do you live in okokomaiko?
      Did you finish from isonu high school?
      You people should stop this nonsense already

  29. Dear poster, may the peace and grace of Christ be upon you. May He heal you of all the heartbreaks. Poster, as a Christian, you should know that God is always intentional about His things. All the men you’ve spoken about were not sent from Him. He’s the Lord that blesses and added no sorrows. He knows all the people coming into your life are not from him that’s why it can’t work. Go on your knees and ask God to reveal your husband to you. Don’t gamble on any man. Be sure that he’s the one God has mandated you to marry. Please stop dating up and down, whether or not you sleep with them, be intentional about the man God has chosen for you. Ask the Heavenly Father to divinely connect you to him else you’ll just be wasting your time with all these men you’re dating. It is well with you sister. May God bless you with the bone of your bone.

    1. 19:57 I like your advice

  30. Poster, you sound proud.
    Come down from your high horse and start overlooking little things in a relationship if you want to marry.
    You did not say exactly what they did to you. Disrespect, what type of disrespect? cheating? insulting you? beating you? what did they do gangan? You have not mentioned one thing that those men did to you.
    If they did not do any of the above, then you have a problem yourself.

    As for the part where you said they treat their wives better, are you living with them?
    Oh, you are judging from their social pictures and videos and words? or from how they do while outside their homes? you are too naive for your age. If only you know what goes on behind that phone and PDA.

    1. I am the poster.

      This one went on vacation and didn’t call for 4 days. He claimed he didn’t have data to call and can only send voicenotes, but his instagram was buzzing 24/7.

      This is someone who calls on a regular - daily. And telling me you don’t have data to call, while your Instagram is buzzing, is disrespectful to my intelligence. Gaslighting- simple. It is better if you tell me not to expect a call from you because you are not in the mood. That one, I know you don’t think I am a dunce.

      Anyway, I sent him a text telling him (by the 4th day) that his no-data lie was not working because his IG is buzzing. the explanation I got was 2 weeks insult. Who does that? Only a guilty man!

    2. Thank you for posting Stella. I really got some helpful comments on here. I appreciate you all. SDK family is really gold! *insert lovestruck emoji*

      And for those who say I am proud, I laugh in Spanish. That’s how people say I’m over selecting because I am “proud” LMAO church people don gossip me tireeee. Once a girl is fine (tintili) and has her life in order, and doesn’t engage in gossip/slander/group drama, you people will say we are proud. They don’t know I’m traumatised and avoidant of men. With this type of experience how easy will it be to see the next man and agree that he has good intentions for me?

      Okay! Say I am proud. Make I agree. I don see many proud people wey marry. Proud can also marry prouding then they become proudators family. Wait first…..isn’t there someone for everyone? Them say proud people no fit marry again? Don’t you know a proud person who is married? Be honest naau. Okay. Don’t worry, correct love from a good man will humble me- if that is the case. Shebi love conquers all? ROTFL

      Also, I am from a very humble background and worked my way to where I am today, doing odd jobs and all in the abroad, to pay my fees for 3 degrees. From odd job to career path. I am not a trust fund baby. Even proverbs 31:31 says: Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. So make una no vex oh! I have my own standards before someone will come and empty my destiny emotionally and otherwise.

      Someone still saw me in church a few weeks ago and went to my pastor to ask about me. He is a relatively new member, another church members brother. Pastor called me talking about the guy’s profile, etc. He didn’t know that that was the heat of the 2 week insult with the other joker. I agreed that pastor should give him my number, out of respect. But I couldn’t even bring myself to engage the guy’s chats, because I’m so drained by my recent experience. It’s hard to stay positive with these back-and-forth. I even gave pastor the side-eye because he knew this other gist. You not even allow me recover, you’ve carried one of your cis-gender and brought again. I know he means well, but…. MOG Pity me naaau *side eye*

      Like most SDKers on here have said, I will table ANY man before God, without getting emotionally attached. I think that’s the strategy I have to adopt now. Because, no matter how playful or nice or celibate or whatever-it-is that I am, the one that is for me will receive me like that.

      Thank you all. Xxxxxxxxxxxx times 1 million

    3. Your comment here says it all. I now know why you are yet to be married. But I won't even bother advising you because I would be wasting my saliva. Best of luck.

  31. Can’t reply everyone. Too many, thank you thank you thank you. My break don finish, make I drop phone. Haha.

  32. Hello poster, I hope you get to see this or I hope some other single lady trusting God for marriage will learn from this.
    So here’s the thing, having that attitude of “girls I am better that are getting all the good things” is not that of a contrite heart. God does not like that kind of heart posture, remember the parable of the field workers who were upset that the master brought in more workers later and paid them the same wages as those there since morning? Please go read that parable and meditate on it.
    I see a lot of single Christian ladies having this attitude, guess what? I did too! But the moment God worked on that heart posture, things turned around for me.
    In fact, like some of the commentators said, I also had the ‘consolation’ that those not so good people were not in happy marriages, and that my own man will be better blabla.
    You see dear, that is a very wrong attitude. It is not a competition, be genuinely happy for others and don’t put pressure on yourself. Lose the heart posture of ‘I deserve it more.’
    Asides from the fact that God does not like such hearts, it will also permeate through your attitude and it stinks to go around with that kind of traits.
    My people, I’ve lived this and I’m talking from experience. In fact I started interceding for people who might be facing challenges in their marriages, even though they clearly made terrible choices. The moment God helped me with this, my life became complete.
    Lastly, don’t be deceived o, it is okay to face the reality that some of those not-so-good people are having a great marriage. You should be mature enough to not be bothered about their happiness or otherwise.

    1. Thanks sis!
      If you read the post, I mentioned that they were normal babes LIKE ME: good home, educated, easy on the eyes, etc. Not like Beyoncรฉ, Rihanna, ojibijibijibi or one superlative personality type of babes. I don’t feel extra at all. Didn’t mean to sound that way.

  33. I will be 41 years old this year. Most times I forget that I’m unmarried! Do I want to get married? Definitely yes, Do I know marriage is work? Yes . Am I ready to commit? Yes to someone that is worth it. What are my chances? Most men my age are married! Almost grandfathers.

    What is in the dating pool these days? Sex first before knowing the person. Is it how to rip him off? How to get the next meal? Uber fare? Poverty eradication scheme? How to show him off? How to show her off, How to transfer the effects of the last relationship to the new one, generalised view of what people are.....

    What I expect: Know this person, his values and ethics, his vision and mission. What common beliefs and grounds do we have? How much flexibility can I offer? Much how flexibility is he able to offer?
    Are his expectations fundamentally physical?
    Are my expectations pocket and looks?
    What does this person do for a living?
    Am I willing to support him?
    Is he willing to support me?

    Communication: Can we communicate? We should be able to talk about everything! Business, money family, sex, past(without judgement), future, fears, insecurities, food, chores, work, travel, books, parenting, parents and siblings, ……
    Does he understand his role of preisthood, provision and protection?
    Do I understand my role of submission, patience and accommodation?

    Money: How do we make money, spend money, invest money, give money and plan for our finances?

    Sex: What are our individual sexual expectations? Is he an everyday twice a day? Does he understand the role of foreplay? How long can each person go without sex? We should be able to discover ourselves and our interests.

    E no fit simple pass like this!

  34. Please do not allow human pressure to push you into something diabolical. all that glitters is not gold. Once you are at peace with God as you are now, do not accept the deception of the devil that there is a grass that is greener on the other side.

    I have a friend that had a similar experience before. She was close to God and successful. A man broke her heart, and she also mismanaged another relationship due to what happened to her in the first relationship.

    After a long time, after trying different methods, dressing well, attending parties and events, socializing and mingling without any sexual escapade, one day she had a dream that she was looking for a cloth to wear and while struggling with a tight cloth in her dream, an elderly man showed up and told her, 'my daughter, do not force that cloth on yourself, open that door and select any of the best clothes you want'. She entered the room in her dream and saw many clothes, she picked a very good one and opened her eyes.

    When she woke up, it felt so real and few weeks after that, a guy returned from a western country and joined their company, in the course of his training, he met her and vouched to marry her or he dies. He was a perfect match for her. They are married with children today.

    Continue praying and praising God. Be nice to people and socialize well. Que sera sera (what will be, will be).

    1. Wonderful testimony!! Thanks for sharing. I don hear

  35. I think is grace, luck and God's design for their lives. Some do worst things on earth that one could ever think of but grace and mercy has given thrm a better chance at love. I have stopped disturbing myself about such issues and just take life as it comes everyday.

    Keep your hope alive and stick to what makes you happy. Never forget to put God first in all you do, someday we all will share our testimony.

  36. Don’t over compensate or overdo sweetness or likeness to the detriment of your mental and emotional health. In short, don’t give off desperate vibe and don’t be too available. A man will always know hence the disrespect comes in because dem don see you finish so to speak. Just be yourself and don’t even think too much about it. I’ll say meet guys for friendship first not to date them immediately. Get to properly know them. When you eventually marry(because you want to and it will happen), just have your kids back to back especially you’re financially stable and be done with it. I married at 32 but wait to have my first child at 35 and second child at 39. Yes, I didn’t rush because I’m not birthing kids for the sake of having children and don’t want them to go through poverty I went through so I’m intentional. I want a well grounded children who will love the lord. So poster, breathe, take your time and don’t make marriage mistake because it’s a horrible thing to go through. Keep praying and with time, God will answer your prayers.

  37. Poster I came late to this post but I hope you get to read my comment.

    My life is exactly like yours blessed in everything but love life na zero due to family issues which God has sorted for me.

    Just last month God said to me to wait because He has looked all over the world for a man for me and cannot find any man in this day and age that is His child that I should be patient that within the next 3 years He will bring him my way.

    I am 36 so I will wait. I will rather wait than marry wrong


  38. Poster, I suggest you find time to study the word of God so that by so doing, your faith will grow and all this fear and doubt will leave you. I know what faithlessness can do to a committed christian and I wouldn't want you to remain in that level because that is carnality. When you are fully spiritual your spirit won't allow you to entertain fear or doubt, you will learn to allow God do His work in you.

    The following passages will be helpful but I would prefer you read them all from the beginning of each books till the end for better understanding.

    Faith James 1to27, 2vs 14to26. Hebrews 10vs 19 to39, 11vs 1to40.

    Promises----Isiah 8vs12-18, 40vs27-31, 43vs24-28, 46vs9-13 ,49vs15to18, 56vs8to13,

    1st Corinthians 15vs 58
    Ephesians 1vs1-23

    Hebrews chapter 3vs 7to 19, Hebrews chapter 12 and

  39. I hope you get to read my comment. First, build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, not because of what you can get from Him or what He does for you, but because of who He is. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to what is really happening in your life.
    Then, there is this group dear Lady Ann. She is on YouTube and Facebook. Join her mentor ship programme and come and testify.

    1. Exactly! Building a relationship with the holy spirit, not because of what you can get but because of what who he is๐Ÿ‘Œ. That's very necessary poster, because a time will come when; for a while God will stop answering your prayers anytime you ask for something and that is just to test your patience. If you fumble in that testing period the devil will takeover and damage your life leaving you in regrets. Satan is not always happy with anybody that follows the precept of Christ and that's why he fights to see that the person backslides. But when you make that decision to serve God not because of what you will gain, then you will find peace in your mind. He will bless you with a man but in a time he feels necessary.

      There may be some things that God wants you to do for him that you have not yet realized and if you go into marriage with a wrong person now you may never discover God's purpose for your life because your marriage may distract you. You can't just be praying and receiving answers to all your prayers without you working in God's vineyard. When I say working in God's vineyard, I do not necessarily mean that you must go to a church before you can work for God. Just sit down and think of how you can use the gifts of God in you. The gifts are not given just for yourself. When you earnestly desire to work for God , those gifts will grow. I recently discovered God's purpose for my life just few months ago. And now understand better why marrying those guys I met wasn't possible. I need to fulfill God's purpose for my life. The state of my mind currently is; no matter how busy I am, I will find time to carry out God's purpose for my life. I have not started yet but I am making preparations so that even in marriage the work will still go on.

      Reading your bible properly, not just by picking passages that interests you, this will help you understand God better. I hope you find time to read even the book of revelations and the new testaments as a whole. Then you go on with the old testament reading. You have a special calling, don't allow satan to

      These are the things I did and they really helped my life.

    2. The anon there is my comment. Have not finished editing before I mistakenly clicked to publish


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