Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative


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Friday, September 29, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative



Good afternoon Stella and my fellow BV's.

I am broken beyond what anyone can imagine,I sent in a chronicle of confused pregnant woman sometimes in 2021, I also sent another one this year of my plan to move on with my life and children which I did when my husband left home for weeks as usual though I carried some of his siblings along because his irresponsibility was not hidden from them even though they don't want to admit the truth.
He cursed and ranted when he discovered I left but thank God he didn't know my new place.
Two months after I moved out which was September 16, 2023 I lost one of my twins as if that was not enough he came over to my house after the child was buried and started shouting in front of his elder sister that I killed the child, this is some one that doesn't know how I have managed to feed,cloth and pay the school fees of four children.

His family are telling me I should return with the children after he had threatened to kill me on several occasions when I refused to serve him food I managed to prepare for my children even one of his brothers that do help me whom he agreed that I should leave is now stylishly telling me to go back.

I told them to ask him how he will feed the children and take up his responsibilities he said he will think about it, imagine!

Honestly I am drained, constant headache wouldn't leave me alone and it's like sleep is not ready to come to me

I work with a company that pays 25k though I support it with private practice as well but I am completely broken I am to resume work on Monday October 2nd but I don't just know how I will cope with the grief,the sadness and the imagination of going back to my husband who doesn't even have a home because he moved out of where I left him when the rent expired and he could not continue the rent the following month I know this because the landlord didn't allow me to rest with calls until he moved out.

I don't know what to do and with the way things are his people may suggest he moved in with me, even feeding has been God, not to talk of a liability again.
I have thought about relocating from the city that I am but how do it with out money.....
Advice needed please

Is marriage by force? Move in with you that what? With this stinking attitude? will anything happen if you say you dont want again?Please dont let him move in with you, or are you not tired of sending in Chronicles?His family is asking you to take back the unrepentant man so that he can have a roof over his head and food to eat all provided by you....
If he is not playing any role at all, why are you even considering taking him back?When you move, please cut off contact with his family for your peace of mind.


  1. There're times in life, you have to be firm with taking decisions and shutting everyone out for your well being. You're at that point poster. If you want your children's Father to stay out, say it and stick to it.

    Please, also check your blood pressure. That constant headache should not be BP related.

    1. They said you should go back to an absentee husband and father and you are stressed about it??? Madam even my nose has a mind of it's own. I will advise you to continuously do what is right for you and your precious kids. Marriage is not all there is, you can win alone I promise you.

    2. Don't let that man kill you for nothing.
      Tell his family that if he starts doing something.
      Don't you have siblings/family?

      Mao Akuh

    3. Poster where are your family members in all of this? Don't you people too have a say? Because I didn't see you mention efforts by any of your family members/spokesperson to put their foot down or even mediate.
      DO NOT LET HIM move in with you, let his family and himself make all the noise they want, na dem go taya.

    4. You need to have your head checked. I'm sorry for being rude but that's how angry I got reading your chronicle. Are you a kid? Will any of the people asking you to go back to him/let him move in with you die in your place if he kills you? If they love him so much, why isn't he living with them? Abeg abeg

    5. There is nothing like an intelligent woman is empowered.
      But when one lacks wisdom and money?
      Totally calamity.
      Here is someone married to utter trash still talking of 'marriage'.
      Marriage that has served you absolutely nothing and is of no value to you.
      Utter nonsense.

  2. Let one of his siblings accommodate him. For your sanity disassociate yourself from them and report his threats to the appropriate authorities

    1. Forget this husband. Take care of your children and your health.

  3. Madam are you sure this your chronicle is true? Please I don't believe anyone can be this f**Lish. How will you allow someone who is not responsible for your upkeep give you order including his family members. Where is your own family? Lol some of you should be telling lies small small.

    1. Honestly, it’s either she’s not telling the entire truth or she’s tied to him. Please let him in so he can finish what he started and you are gone, your kids will suffer while doing house help for others. Like goddammit Madame, tell his family to carry their burden. They know and have experienced his rubbish attitude before you married him that’s why they don’t want him in their houses. Ahhhhh

  4. Where are your parents and siblings? This man see you finish.
    This is why it is good to have solid family members, you can never mess up, they will arrange your skull.
    That marriage is dead, so why do you have to go back?
    Thank God for the parents and siblings he gave me.
    Madam, make sure that man doesn’t come close to your house. Who knows, he could even be responsible for the death of that child just to confuse you and make you return.
    Don’t pay any attention to his siblings, they don’t mean well for you.
    If you want to live long, divorce that man.


    1. I just taya, it's like her family members just dashed her out in marriage.

  5. Let me be very vocal and local. My sister if you allow this man move in with you, na u lose. Please keep it moving. Tell his siblings to accommodate him and u will think about it. Keep thinking and don't ever take that fool back. To suffer no dey tire you. U go just die if u take him back. Omo wetun be this.

  6. Dear Poster,

    Sorry about your loss. That must have been a huge blow to you, hence your vulnerable state now. Because I know it cannot be from a place of right thinking, that you would be considering going back to that man,
    What about your own family? I didn't see you mention them in all these.

    You need a good support system now. People that will give you morale, not those that will be sneering at you codedly. What about the church you belong to? School alumni?,

    What I mean is prayerfully look around you, I am sure you will get a helping hand. Please don't add that man into your life again, and excommunicate the in-laws for now.

    It is well.

    1. Awww... This is filled with empathy. Like you said, the grief may be affecting poster's thinking. I really pray poster doesn't go back to the man, marriage is not do or die.

    2. Thank you dear. I can't understand why people are being so harsh on her. She has 4 kids and 1 just died. Can you imagine how she must feel?. No money no moral support. She probably can't even think straight!

      Poster, I am so sorry. This is just a lot to go through 😭. What about your parents, can they help. Best thing is to move back home for now. I hope they will be supportive 😢

  7. Dear poster, please do not go back
    Stand strong. Other bvs asking about her parents and siblings, what of her parents are dead and she and her sibeings js not on talking terms.
    If you ar sure you want to leave that am, drag him to authorities, drag him on social media, reveal his death threats.

    You will definitely get the help you need soonest

  8. Poster na wa oh! First off, sorry on the demise of one of your twins. I understand you are grieving, and your emotions are all over the place. You have to decide that it is enough of sending chronicles all the time.
    It is enough of insulting from a man who does not care
    It is enough of listening to people who just want you to answer Mrs by force.

    If that man harms you when you move in, who will take care of your children or do you think your in-laws truly care?

    I hope your in-laws don't know your new location and if possible, reduce your communication with them. If you want a total dissolution of marriage, kindly arrange with your family and turn it immediately.

    You need a fresh start with your life and not a life of turmoil and high blood pressure here and there...

    Don't go back I REPEAT DON"T GO Back

  9. Dear poster, please never go back to Jim
    Some men are wicked, some go as far as cheating, emotionally abusive, beat their wives, calling the police on their wives, etc.

    Well, dear woman, always have an escape plan out of an abusive marriage

  10. This woman will just kill herself over one mumu man that don't even give a shit about u.. U lost a child and all he has to say is this, can't u cut off even his families and live ur life like u deserve?

  11. Woman,are u sure you want to stay alive and train those kids yourself?????
    What is keeping you in a toxic marriage???
    What actually are u confused about???
    What have u been using the previous advises given to u on the chronicles u have been posting ...
    Leave before it would be too late

  12. Lamentations of Jeremiah when they are telling you look before you leap you won't hear say na love landed you in this mess or desire to marry at all cost?let the family provide accomodations a ND feeding money if they want you to go back and once you are back please get another belle oh ok,these are reason why some people don't help because the people you are helping has lost their brain.

  13. One of the most annoying Chronicles this year. Are you that weak you can't say no
    even at great inconvenience, discomfort, your mental well being and threat to your life? If you want to shorten your life, take him in. Another Chronicle loading.

    We keep preaching on this blog that marriage is only for the living. Once you die, marriage becomes useless. No one should die because of marriage. No one.

  14. So, he made death threats and nobody encouraged you to report him to the authorities, just to return to him😱 Abused women don’t get no allies in Naija? You need support because mentally you are in a weak place from the death of your child, May they rip. He is manipulating your pain for his gain and these ppl would prefer to send you back into hell than stand up and fight him.

    If you have the strength, please get the law involved. Report the death threats so if anything happens to you they know where to look. Go to some office that is focused on helping women with domestic violence history, maybe they can guide you on how to proceed, help you with filing a divorce petition and keep primary custody of your children. Since your husband is indigent, that needs to be recorded somewhere. October 2 is right around the corner, but you can still call around today or tomorrow and set up some appointments.

    I am shocked how abusive men are shielded and protected and women are expected to just to endure their slow death. Not one person barked at this man, stood up to him. I have seen abusers back down when everybody stood up and grabbed a stick or anything and made it known they would not get away with doing harm. They always back down when they know nobody is in support of them. You need allies!

  15. Sorry for the loss ma'am, may God console and soothe your heart.
    How did you give them power over your life in the name of marriage? You need to stand for yourself and shut them off your life.
    Must you attend their meetings when they invite, cut ties with them. His family wants someone who will cater for their brother, they don't care about you or the children.
    If there is something African men are trained with it is the power to be selfish, I mean the healthy selfishness. You will rarely find an African man who will pick you over himself and his well being. Be selfish for once, except if there is any benefit his coming back will give you.


  16. His family, his family.. you no get family?
    What are your family saying about this?
    You no dey good terms with your own family?
    Cos I don't understand how your family would keep silent in all this if they really were carried along

    1. I WONDER too.
      Woman face your front, report him to the police as per the death threat.

      Mao Akuh

  17. Dear Poster, sorry about the loss but what is his family doing to assist or help. Why will they suggest he moves in with you? are they the one paying the rent or are they shouldering the responsibility? which kind talk be this. It's better you cut off the family too for now. Feeding three children alone is not an easy tax not to include an adult. Please o no go kill yourself o. The truth is if he has nothing doing, there is every likelihood that he might be a toxic person at the slightest provocation. An hungry man is an angry man.

  18. This man will kill you straight forward if you ever attempt to accommodate him again . Stand on your word of no going back to him, enough is enough, be Wise woman

  19. All this confusion na poverty cause am

  20. I can bet you will accept him back with the way you're sounding. Goodluck.

  21. I am here just hoping you won't go back to that man/allow the man come back.

  22. Don't you have a family? Please stay with them.

    Don't accept him o. Before you start giving birth to another set of children.

    So how did he find you? Let his family hold him. Are you still married or divorced?

    My own is, every mallam with his kettle

    Too much headache sef.

  23. So sorry for the death of your child.I know your emotions are high right now but please,prayerfully stay put where you are and continue caring for your remaining children.You don't need this man I beg you🙏.If you stubbornly take him back,anything you see,you take!!

  24. My dear use your not heart, his people don't want him and feels you should take care of him, if you can relocate if not please stand your ground don't you dare take him.

  25. Madam please use your tongue to count your teeth.

  26. Madam i’m really sorry for the loss of ur child. May God give you the fortitude to bear the irreplaceable loss.
    Then regarding ur husband’s issue, you know what to do, u r not done yet, when you are, u know exactly what to do and how to go abt it. Good luck to u

  27. I don’t understand this chronicle walahi! How can you let people you’re feeding stress you out like that?I mean how?

  28. What kind of annoying story is this ??🙄,are u even telling us the truth?I been,is this weakness, foolishness abi village people things?

  29. With the way things are, you need to be separated from him for a while, until he gets back at his feet. It is devastating when a man can't meet his responsibilities. May the lord strengthen, bless, and heal your home.

  30. You left your husband. Yet the Landlord was calling you!

    Calling you about what? This was where the story got bent from my understanding.

    Ask for help and intervention by your family and State bodies.

    Go to your family. Presumably, he paid a bride price before he became your husband.. This is where that act has meaning. Those who collected and shared in the money know what to do.

    Go to the Welfare Department in the nearest Local Government Council if you are not in the State Capital. If you are in the State capital, go to the Secretariat.

    If you are in Lagos, google for the nearest LASG mediation center or Domestic violence and gender offences office or go to the State Secretariat at Alausa Ikeja.

    Ask for help direct from Bvs and the people you know physically - co-workers, employers, religious group members, etc. Marital related chronicles that usually push other Bvs to tar men as a group when what a Poster really needs is financial help, mostly end up scaring and scarring others especially the singles.

    All said, think about yourself as you are think of your children. Only a woman alive can be a mother.

  31. For who may interested:

    Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Offences Agency
    Novel House
    Plot 3, Block J
    Otunba Jobi Fele Way,
    Alausa Ikeja
    Lagos State

    Though it is prayed the Blog Bvs may never have need for the address.


  32. Contact human rights organizations in your city and narrate your ordeal to them. They will take it up from there.

    1. National Human Rights Commission

  33. Funny enough this woman lamenting bride price may not have been paid by the man, they were just cohabiting. Because, if the man had legitimately married this woman, I don't see any family that will look on while one of their own is being ill treated. My guess is she moved in with him against the counsel of her family hence her inability to reach out to them for support.
    Poster, leave the man alone. NEVER take him back cos such men never change their toxic ways.His family knows how bad his character is, and are not ready to put up with him that is why they are trying to blackmail you into taking him off their hands.
    You have made wrong choices in life, but nothing says you can't retrace your steps. But you have to make sure this man ( babies father) does not feature in the canvas of your life which you see ahead of you.

  34. Parents raise these boys to know they will become men in the future.

  35. Parents raise these boys to know they will become men in the future.

  36. How full grown ass men nuisances around sit all day with their entitled mentality be looking for who to take care of them. The training you didn't get at home,is another woman that has no business with you will teach you that as a man. 21 years and above are still claiming small boys.

  37. Madam, I don't think that this should even be an issue for debate. From all you wrote up there, an irresponsible man will remain irresponsible as long as he is getting free food and shelter over his head.

    You have been struggling alone and want to add another liability? Suffer no dey tire you??

    That man isn't ready to change from all indications. Stay away from him and his family cos his family isn't any better.

    Will they advise their own daughter to go back to her irresponsible husband? There lies your answer.

  38. Hmmmm things dey happen,madam is this how you want your life to be, you fend for yourself, your kids and a man...... Please sit and think again don't become an enabler.

  39. I think it's better you stay put. He once threatened to kill you, he will if you move back with him. Reason is, he will never forgive you for the death of your child.

  40. Remember say deadbody no dey write chronicles o.. I need a testimony the next ur sending.. "BVs" said it all . The Lord is ur strength...I miss SDK blog mehn .this busy sef busy pass me


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