Stella Dimoko Actor Beverly Osu Talks About Dating Only Older Men + Reveals Childhood Trauma She Went Through


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Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Actor Beverly Osu Talks About Dating Only Older Men + Reveals Childhood Trauma She Went Through

Nigerian Actor, Beverly Osu, sat with Chude Jideonwo, host of #WithChude to share about how her father left and refused to take her with him, her mother leaving for a while, how that led to her dating only older men, how she learnt to forgive them, healing and freedom.

Beverly shared what she thought about her mum leaving

“She said she had some issues, and she has apologized severally. But there is some damage done. I feel like I have healed from that part of my life because I can’t really blame her. This is because I am growing, and I am faced with decisions. Her age and her circumstances make me think that she did what she knew how to do best. So, I can’t really blame her. There was a time I used to be really angry at her but now she is my best friend, and business partner, unlike some of my siblings who still believe that there are some of the things she could have done. 
There’s something they call ‘Trauma bonding’. My siblings went through that when my mum was away. We went through a lot, and because they had a better share of my mum’s experience, they felt abandoned, and rejected. Like with how smart and how they glorified her, they believed she could have made a backup plan. I didn’t have that vibe with my mum, even though I was the only girl. I was always with my brothers or my dad. I think they still really blame her.”

Speaking on her delicate family dynamic
 “My mum acted as daddy and mummy, so the boys expected so much from her. I feel the boys really wanted so much from her. She was our guardian and protector. She always comes for our PTA meeting and was always available. My brothers couldn’t believe she could ever make that kind of mistake”. 

Beverly shared about neglect she faced with her dad while growing up
 ‘My dad was in Surulere while we were in Ojuelegba, and he never really came by. I chose my dad over my mum, but he disappointed me. My mum returned to us in 1999, having been away for like two years. She came back, and said she was leaving my dad. She told us to pick who we would be going with, so it doesn’t look like she took his children without their consent. You know now, me that I’m free spirited, I went with my daddy. I thought I could have chilled with daddy because mummy was very strict. My dad then said, ‘oh, go with your mum I will come and visit you.’ That was the first disappointment. I believed in my dad, but he never came. 

My dad has his problems, he is egocentric. The first time he came, he came to see me in my new school, then he showed up again while I was in the university. He just showed up to use me to brag.”
“Also, when I came back from Big Brother, his was the first phone call I received when I put on my phone. I picked up and he said, ‘You have to come and start taking care of me’. I was like, ‘okay dad, I will call you back’. I have forgiven him. I buried him nicely, but I didn’t cry when he died. We never got to talk about how I felt when he was alive because anytime we met it was more about how he wanted to be, and more about him, so I listened”, she added.

On how her background affected her life

 ‘I think I have outgrown the daddy issues, but I have always dated guys way older than I am. I don’t think it is daddy issues, I feel that I am surrounded by boys, and all the men in my life are confident. If we must be together you have to be confident enough to stay in the midst of family. In the past, I always wanted to date people who could control me. Even my girlfriends are standalone chics. I love confident people. 

She also shared on how her desire to be with older men can be misconstrued to having sugar daddies. “All the older men I have dated, were ‘boyfriends’. I do not want to be another person’s sadness. I love attention, so in that way it has never worked out with another woman’s man for me.”


  1. There is this thing about Beverly I can't just point. I like her personality a lot. I like much. .
    Something about broken women, they come out so strong and end up a way better than one would think of them.

    1. Beverly E-hugs wherever you are...You were not supposed to experience this and making adult decisions at a young age...Wishing you more healings...E-hugs darling!!

    2. I really love her personality

  2. Healing also means taking an honest look at the role you play in your own suffering.

    I wish her all the best.

  3. Lori iro . Ya have sugar zaddies miss.

    1. No mind Beverly, as if people no no am wella. I hope she don stop smoking bcoz that one na serious addiction & it gives her one dirty smokers cough. Funny enough I disliked her during her season bcoz she hated my Dilish, who eventually won d show . Good luck to her.

    2. God will keep strengthen you dear

  4. It's surprising now some parents thinks'sorry' should fix everything..

  5. Life and it’s Pendulum Swings…

    Like I will always say “Family is the Basic unit of Society”.

    Most Adults are still suffering from childhood Traumas.

    Parent's don’t understand the huge impact they have on their Children Esteem before anyone Else.

    Be sensitive and kind to your Kids. They might be young BUT they are Human too.

  6. We need more of these conversations in Nigeria because many parents are selfish and inconsiderate. Alot of us are healing from parental trauma we don't even want to talk about. We think it doesn't affect us but it really does in key areas
    I am detoxing from my family next year and drilling down in therapy.

    1. Good for you!πŸ‘πŸΎ I realised that I have to really take responsibility for healing from traumas I have experienced. I believe that breaking the cycle starts with you if you are willing. All the best anon, you are doing well.

    2. BRAVO! I wish you the very best in your healing journey.

    3. I've been telling my mum that the reason my brother beats his wife could be because as children, he was given the job of disciplining his younger sisters. He punched us, flogged us with cables, shaved my sister's head several times and even touched us inappropriately. This was while he regularly stole their money and their cars on 2 occasions. He also joined a cult. But our parents generation can never admit to any wrongdoings.
      It's only by the grace of God many of us still allow them be in our adult lives.


    4. Anon 16:29. You are correct. Your parents taught your brother it was okay to dehumanize his sisters, so why won’t he abuse his wife. I am sorry you had to go through that. It’s okay to step back from abusive family members. You cannot heal, where you were broken

  7. When people behave somehow, you wonder why?

  8. May your heart find solace, dear Beverly πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

  9. Beverly Osu is a strong girl,is not easy to grow up without your parent around you,to encourage you,to cheer you up,to mould you,to scold you etc....... Josaria

  10. It is well, some parent are actually the outcome of their children but the ego in them wont let them see it.

  11. So sad to hear what the Dad told her immediately after BBN. I really applaud people born in such loveless or troubled families who fought their way to success.. especially in a troubled and difficult country called Nigeria.
    Beverly Osu, Phyna, Helen Paul
    I salute una πŸ‘

    1. Yes oh! Strong women. It's not easy for them at all

  12. Chika(hello iya boys)14 November 2023 at 13:02

    I actually gree up with my mother
    She does everything for us
    My mother had five of us out of wedlock ooo
    Nah only she train us
    But you see this child hood tranma I no am oo
    He no dey affect me shaaa
    Things has not been the way I wanted shaaa
    But I still ThankGodπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

    E.hugs brevely πŸ«‚πŸ«‚πŸ«‚

  13. Good for you Bev.
    I also don't agree that the desire to date an older guy is bcos of daddy issues or sugar daddy.
    All the best


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