ADVICE NEEDED
Please I have a brother in Brazil, and he’s a dr#g addict....
How can we help him out? Or probably bring him back to Nigeria. He’s so deep into it that he sends us messages on WhatsApp saying all sort of nonsense that we don’t even understand.
The last time we spoke to him , he was looking older than his age. Please Stella and BVs help a sister Biko.
I’m worried for my Mother.
Thank you.
Oh Dear, this is a tough one, espeically as he is in another Country and out of reach.....If you ask me i will say you people should leave him where he is cos he is already and addict and if he gets to Nigeria and cannot find supply he will become aggressive and very very dangerous....
One of you should look for ways to travel to Brazil to see first exactly how bad it is....
As for him looking old, the abuse of dr#gs always make them look older.....I think you should also stop giving your mum details of the situation with your brother and dont call him on video call again for your mum to see, just pass messages to her...Shield her from the hurt as much as you can....
The last thing i will say is that you people should pray!
Please anyone who used to be an addict here but is clean now should tell us what to do.... Thank you!
You guys should beg him to return to Nigeria and arrange money for him.Thats what we did for my cousin.We are planning on sending him to Canada soon too after he’s done rehabing.
ReplyDeleteCanada to be with relatives or on his own?
DeleteReconsider if there is nobody there to put eyes on him.
After rehab he should be fine.Hes 37 years old and wouldn’t need a babysitter.After this one,if he continues to take drugs he will be on his own
Delete@15:45 Why send him to a country where he may backslide without supervision? Are you not aware that drugs are sold openly in kiosks in cities like Vancouver? Most cities has centers where addicts get free needles etc.Addicts struggle even after rehab which is why they keep attending meetings etc. Don't send him out if there is no family in Canada to keep an eye on him. That's how some Nigerians end up giving the country a bad name to the detriment of other Nigerians
DeleteSending him to Canada will finish that guy regardless of his age! He is with his family, he is an addict, when he gets to Canada where loneliness is the order of the day and he looks right and left, with no family members, you will all blame yourself when he overdoses on drugs and dies. You better keep him where he is jeje.
DeleteEverything Stella wrote should be followed, don't bring him back home instead one of you, his siblings should travel to the country and check him into rehab if the money is there.
ReplyDeleteTrue
DeleteGod Abeg ooo🙏🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteMy elder brother too takes drugs oo
He went to Ghana Lived in a Hotel for years without renting house o
He came bk by himself to Nigeria went to my mother's village stayed 2years in a hotel also
All he does is to smoke drinks,and carry woman
Now he's in Lagos in a hotel too..
Man of 40 something years ooo
If you see him with a girl they are both taking crack😭😭😭
Everytime he keeps begging for 1k-500 naira..
I just pray Almighty God should intervene on his Behalf🙏🙏
Quite sad but how does he afford the money to cover expenses.
DeleteSo sad to read. May God arrest him in his own way. He needs prayer.
DeleteMao Akuh
Wow, are drugs so cheap???
DeleteYour family should look for a way to trick him to return to Nigeria, that way he is within reach for you people to monitor him and ensure he goes through with rehab, counseling, etc. With him in another country, you cannot keep tabs on his activities, he may even ask for the money to go for rehab and not go.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stella about shielding your mum. She doesn't need to know all the disturbing details of his drug use, as this may affect her own health.
Also, don't underestimate the power of prayers, the family should keep praying for him.
If you can bring him back to Nigeria and check him into a rehab,that will go a long way.There are some rehabs that are quite strict and go the extra length to make sure their patients are completely clean.Wishing you all the best,
ReplyDeleteGo and see him
ReplyDeleteHow do you know he’s on dr#gs anyway. What kind? Each kind has it’s different treatment and addiction levels
PS: he can find them in Nigeria too but the consequences might be more dire
You are very correct. Addiction has different causes and different treatments. Short term and long term treatment options. I know because I recommend, admit and treat anyone who needs detox from substance abuse in America.
DeleteDRUGS! Its only God that can help him. I pray God gives you wisdom to help him out
ReplyDeleteYou need to take him to rehab bringing him to Nigeria wouldn't help either cause the world is going through a drug pandemic. I watched a documentary in Sierra Leone where young boys scavenge graves for bones to get high.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to decide that he wants to stop taking drugs and come clean if not he will relapse. Then engage a therapist, all the best.
If you’re going to start it be sure you can finish it. If he gets clean what plan to you have to reintegrate him into the society? How do you plan to support his sobriety and will you let him know where you live come in contact with your children spouses…etc? If he relapse and goes back to his ways can you handle seeing him on the streets living rough? It normally takes a few attempts before someone gets clean especially if they did not initiate it, do you have the funds for at least up to 5 rounds possibly? If you are going to start make sure you can finish and do not go in half hearted be ready for a battle. Success is possible.
ReplyDeleteWhat are gou saying in essence?
DeleteOk, in conclusion?
DeleteThey should not start or what?
DeleteHmmmm may God come true for you people
ReplyDeleteAmennnn 🙏
DeleteFirstly, i sympathise with your family on this very sad situation, it is really heart wrenching.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, it’s not too late, bring him back to Nigeria and check him into a rehab. He can start life afresh. If you leave him there, his condition will keep getting worse because, he is nobody’s responsibility over there, highest, when he finishes deteriorating, they would deport him back to Naija in chains, cos by then, he would also be a mental case. So pls, since the drugs have not touched his brain yet, there is still chance to save him, do it now bfr he bcoms irredeemable. Good luck!
I never knew how destructive those drug can be till I saw how he suddenly changed handsome Majek Fashek to old ...... ? I'm lost of word.
ReplyDeleteTake your brother to rehab before it becomes worse.
I don't know what to say poster but it's my sincere prayers that God will show mercy and restore him. It surely will take some time,but don't give up.
ReplyDeleteNo offense, how old is your mom, his own mother, that you are shielding her from her reality? Why do we do this in Nigeria? You are younger than your mom, are you supposed to be the one getting hypertension & stress over this or his mom, God forbid? Share the burden! There are 80 year olds in prayer city & Camp ground PRAYING for their adult children &grandchildren! Those are good parents! You owe your children prayers all your life. God hears & answers genuine parental prayers. Besides you do not have the background, the things they know that may have contributed to his state. Life is more spiritual than physical. It’s good for the mom to know & pray, unless she is very old, frail or sick. Why carry sibling burden on your self while raising yours, becoming worn out from caring for 3 generations! My advice is out of love.
ReplyDeleteLet her know even if it’s prayer she can pray.
A close friend begged her mom to go to camp/prayer city to pray for her late sister who was bleeding & suffered infertility for years. She even offered to rent the best chalet on the camp, provide hotel quality food etc for her, just for her to be praying with the prayer warriors daily. Her then younger/healthy mom refused with the support of her other siblings who supported their mom in not going. Her own child. The kindest one. Her late sister was heart broken, They lost her before she could get her to the US for treatment. Now the mom is sick, bedridden, stuck with the most wicked of her children. Very wicked, very hardened, greedy sister with zero conscience or emotion. A caregiver heard her kids asking the wicked sister to get out quickly from their grandma’s room, because of the smell! Her mom. Their grandma! Some 🇺🇸 children do caregiving for their grandma part-time while in college, get paid minimum wage for it. They work/care for their own grandma seeing it as a bonus that it’s their grandma! Those ones prefer freebies from their aunties and uncle who supply food & money while the wicked sister with no real source of income & grown up college kids sit/watch TV! She had to pay agency extra money for air freshner & cleaning products almost in tears when she heard that. She said she already suspected elder abuse as the mom’s phone was switched off so nobody could reach her without going through “Wicked Sister’s” phone. She felt terrible as she heard they don’t even answer when she calls them in her very frail state knowing she is unable to move. Apparently they hadn’t cleaned her bedsores for days till that caregiver got there while she collects money and food deliveries and spends/uses most of it on herself. That is to show you why it’s important to pray in old age. Maybe if she prayed for the kind one, she may still be around. How can siblings pay and fund you to care for your own mom yet you still do not do a good job of it. To top it she is very diabolical so the other siblings seem to “fear her”. Parents should not be shielded from their “realities” so they can contribute prayers and appreciate kind ones that help among children.
Parenting/family in 🇳🇬 has different meanings compared to the West. We want to reap from minimum labor even while the child is still in the womb! It’s unconditional here. How many Down’s syndrome & other severely developmentally disabled above 45 do you see around among upper middle class Nigerians? Probably not many. They did the unthinkable rather than care for them! Westerners care for them. Thank God there are special Ed schools and facilities in Nigeria due to greater awareness & education. Africans do not have closer unconditional family ties than westerners who stick to theirs through thick and thin! Our own is ATM. Find a way to get him to 🇳🇬 by telling him about better money making opportunities as Brazil has nothing for blacks. Find a rehab while your siblings, you & your mom pray to support what rehab is doing. Help him find a source of income, integrating him into a church community etc.
Hmmmmmm my mum too was stuck with my very wicked greedy concienseless sister. She had terrible pressure soresveven though she could still move. It was so sad. God help us
DeleteIf she could afford to pay for the most expensive chalet, why didn't she send the sick sister to a good hospital for treatment?
DeleteI swear. I was weak with the SHIELD HIM FROM YOUR MUM narrative. She's is his mother and he his her foremost responsibility. Siblings are so used to parenting themselves while parents become children. Who borne who biko et your mother in on every detail and if your father is alive let both of them figure out the best way to support the child they brought into this world. Gaddamn it!!!
DeleteAnon 20:31, I’m assuming your comment is about Anon 17:43. US visa denial and appeal process and the time involved is why she wanted them to try and stay in the chalet to pray for her until her visa was approved.
DeleteIf no one can go there or reach him personally, pls pray for that guy go places to intervene on his behalf, that's the first help you can give since he is not within reach......
ReplyDeleteWhat a life , life is unfair at times. As a parent u will struggle to send them to school only for some of them to turn out the other way. God pls direct their path to goodness.
ReplyDeleteChai this is heartbreaking
ReplyDeleteBut like Stella said ,prayer is key, then one of you should try visiting and knowing the exact situation.
May God give you and your family the wisdom that you need
ReplyDeleteVery sad when people go astray. Stella's advise is the best
ReplyDeleteAre you sure it drugs or a mental illness?
ReplyDeleteReach out to the leader of the Nigerian community in Brazil and see what help they offer.
Hi, this is coming from a recovering addict.ive been clean for over 5 yrs now(stopped counting actuall).
ReplyDeleteIt took guts, brazen n stark reality stating gits to come out.
I was a raving alcoholic.thankfuly I was a reader, so I discovered mind conditioning,I conditioned my mind gradually to see the hrm the alcohol was doing to my health,relationships and life in general.i was in rehab twice. None worked.addictin Is something I won't wish in my worst enemy.. it took the life out of my life. I was a successful banker earning above 250k around 2014 when it became an issue, with a house and a car. By the time alcohol was done with m, all I had was myself. Everything went poof.
There's something called ground zero, when on gets there, you eitherfade into oblivion or fightback.i was t tht stage when I fought back. I fought with my all . I saw alcohol as the enemy that took verythin away, and boy did I fight. Today I'm till on the journey, I'm still scared of relapsing, everyone I walk into a supermarket and we glistening bitoes of wins n spirits, my knee goes soft.so Ive conditioned my mind to wat to puke at the sight of alcohol.about God.hmnnn. at a point he will be all an addict has to look up to. Cos the streets woul be brutal.
And the societal dog marking . Hianyou will be liked down upon. You ill be soffed, Yi wontbetsoen serous again.biut recovery is a prosnal journey.famiky can only encourage .him being far away I both dangerous and advantageous.cos we don't even know his substance of choice, but I do hope he sees this, and know tht it's a persona decion to quit..he should fin out what triggers his addiction n try to avoid it.bit the first step is to even accept that he needs help without his acceptance.its all an exercise in futility.
Keep fighting and God will always help you through it all.
DeleteMao Akuh