STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE STERN WARNING
Hi BVs
I work in a school and was in a queue to sign for resumption, and that's why this somewhat unserious fellow lady teacher came from another angle and placed her hand on my belly without asking and said something like, “ Seems we’ve got a baby on the way.” This same coworker has made unsettling pregnancy comments toward me before she said this one.
Immediately, I felt this wave of rage, like who does this in 2025?? So I said, “Don’t wish me that kind of bad luck early this morning.”
She looked super taken aback, and another other colleagues (who overheard) looked at me like I’d just said something offensive but someone else touching my body without my permission is disrespectful to me.
It felt like I was the crazy one but I didn’t ask to be touched, I’m not pregnant, and I really don’t like people making those kinds of comments about my body even if I was.
Now I’m wondering, if I'm crazy for reacting the way I did because I gave her a stern warning?
THE STERN WARNING
Hi BVs
I work in a school and was in a queue to sign for resumption, and that's why this somewhat unserious fellow lady teacher came from another angle and placed her hand on my belly without asking and said something like, “ Seems we’ve got a baby on the way.” This same coworker has made unsettling pregnancy comments toward me before she said this one.
Immediately, I felt this wave of rage, like who does this in 2025?? So I said, “Don’t wish me that kind of bad luck early this morning.”
She looked super taken aback, and another other colleagues (who overheard) looked at me like I’d just said something offensive but someone else touching my body without my permission is disrespectful to me.
It felt like I was the crazy one but I didn’t ask to be touched, I’m not pregnant, and I really don’t like people making those kinds of comments about my body even if I was.
Now I’m wondering, if I'm crazy for reacting the way I did because I gave her a stern warning?
She touched you which was wrong..Maybe she even had juju in her hand, nobody knows but your response is so wrong!!!..like are you OK? You have rejected pregnancy, terming it badluck...... from your lips oh......
So i ask again, Are you OK?
Touching you is sooo wrong, but then you call being pregnant bad luck. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteWell, there was a touch. It's nothing if she hadn't touched u. Wether u pregnant or not e no concern her. Give her space n attitude to mind her self
ReplyDeleteYou're not wrong at all. How could she touch your belly without you shoving her off? I don't like people touching me at all.
ReplyDeleteYou’re not wrong at all. Don’t be gaslighted into accepting this behavior from her, next time she will mind her business
DeletePoster what's your relationship with that fellow "unserious" teacher? That term you used to describe
ReplyDeleteher is a clue that she's too playful. There are people who are overly playful. Maybe she belongs to that group. If you had stated that you don't have a close rapport with her, I'd have said she crossed her boundaries. If you don't, then she crossed her boundaries. I for one wouldn't take such a touch lightly from someone that isn't very close to me.
In as much as the days are evil, I wouldn't want to jump into conclusions to make aspersions that the gesture is diabolically targeted.
Stella, hmmm you're shocked that people call pregnancy bad luck, some married people who do not want pregnancy at some points in their marriage refer to it as such too. I think the choice of words is the problem
That's the irony of life for you. For those TCC, it's good luck, while to those who aren't ready, it's not.
We need to use words wisely though.
Well said.
DeleteHow is a baby bad luck..
ReplyDeleteWhat you said was very wrong even as she wrong for touching you like that..
You sound like an angry person,take life easy please..
do you want to tell us that you don't want to have babies or you are done having babies? she was wrong by touching you but you should have told her that you don't like what she did than calling pregnant a padlock. I don't know why some persons love to touch someone's tummy, breast, bum without their permission in public.
ReplyDeleteIs good you gave her warning so that next time she will not try it again but that rejection is my only concern.
let me bounce as this one na women matter
ReplyDelete"I'm not yet pregnant and I don't appreciate you touching my stomach"
ReplyDeleteWhy give her that information 'I am not yet pregnant'?? What is her damn business, manipulation not concern..nosy poker, tueh to that una Nigeria, no wonder you guys are lagging behind in every damn thing
DeletePoster I will do worse than you in that situation...
Dear Poster, You are right to feel upset; yeah your response was awkward but I understand that it was your instinct that kicked in to protect yourself...I give you thumbs up ...
ReplyDeleteThe major takeaways from your chronicle are:
1. You created and set a boundary and stood up for yourself...What she did was inappropriate and should never be tolerated...
2. If she approaches you again, you can respond again to her like this ''I didn’t appreciate being touched or having comments made about my body....It’s not okay to do that''....
3. This is not her 1st time, so document her pattern and if it happens again, make an official complaint to the HR or school proprietor....
You have a healthy mind with self-awareness & reflection of your actions.....It is normal to feel embarrassment after your reaction to her however you asserted your boundary....
The only thing you might need to work on is your utterances......
Kudos to you, dear Poster....
All the best....
People should learn to mind their business,it's not that hard
ReplyDeleteHow is Being Pregnant Bad Luck
ReplyDeleteShe Touching You is So Wrong
Some People Sha Wanna Know Everything.And Refuse To Mind Their Business...
Hello iya Boys
Your response to her sounds like you're cursing yourself, except you don't want a baby ever. Abeg let us be mind our speech when angry.
ReplyDeleteDear Op, you erred badly. Next time, confront her directly. You didn’t correct her or confront her. You “reacted”. Big difference. You could have said please don’t touch me like that and say I am pregnant and such. I don’t like being touched and I don’t touch people with asking. And making comments about the possibility of me being pregnant. Please keep your opinions, thoughts and wishes about my body to yourself. Thank you. I know it’s long but you should have addressed the matter directly. Period.
ReplyDeleteif you want children or to be pregnant.... you've more or less cursed yourself and any unborn pregnancy... better reverse that evil pronouncement you made over a pregnancy/baby in your womb
ReplyDeleteShe hasn't cursed nothing
DeleteYall do and say to o much
Oh please!!! Being pregnant at her present time or circumstances may indeed be bad luck for her. Not everyone wants to keep churning out babies regardless of their situation
Delete@16:34, are you for real?? What sort of humans exist in your country??WTF!!!
DeleteShe said she rejects pregnancy you're here crying. What's your own? Must everyone give birth? Una matter tire me.
DeleteShe did wrong by touching you. But pregnancy is not bad luck weather you want a child or not.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, it would have been better to say " don't touch me please, I don't like it". Or "must you touch me like that?" Or "please keep your hand to yourself, why are you touching me".Or Mrs Ade, stop this rubbish! Why do you keep doing this?" Or " please stay away from me with your yeye question". Saying any of these with a stern voice and look will make her understand that she upset you.
ReplyDeleteI want to assume you are done with child bearing hence that response. The response is wrong though, children are not bad luck but I believe what you meant was you don't want one now. All these womb watchers that will not mind their business.
ReplyDeleteBadluck ke? Who rejects such?
ReplyDeleteI want that kind of prayer in my life whether I want or I nor want. Whether I am ready for it or not. Whether single or married.
But touching a person's tummy without their consent is wrong from all perspectives.
We should not reject the idea of a baby.
But If I happen to be pregnant and someone comes to touch my tummy like that...I go change am for the person.
ReplyDeleteThe world don dori kodo and I won't risk my pregnancy for anything in it.
I still don't understand the obsession with people wanting to be the first to know or decode personal ish in other people's lives. Whether marriage or pregnancy, good news or bad news, is there an award for being first to know? Unless you're journalist or blogger who gets paid for their breaking news, that level of unpaid amebo was left behind in 1999. We're 26 years ahead...
ReplyDeleteObviously that teacher is not her friend and she has acted in like manner before. You guys should stop saying she overreacted. She did not overreact and has not brought any curse to herself. You all sound like you are GOD.
ReplyDeleteHow can you touch a colleague who did not authorize you to touch them on their belly of all places. Ppl should know their place. I have never touched even my closest friends on their belly. If poster is unmarried or the economy is dealing seriously with her then being pregnant would be bad luck at this stage of life.
ReplyDeleteNobody has a right to comment on your body and make assumptions on anything.
It's only in Nigeria that people don't mind their business. I don't even touch my siblings bump when they are pregnant, not to talk more of another person. That's a delicate time for everyone
ReplyDeleteOh my word, the comments??? What a wawu! WTF, why should anyone touch you without your consent and start talking about pregnancy..Poster you are totally ok, but unfortunately in Nigeria, you will look crazy for 'rejecting' pregnancy,,,what is her damn business! What a society!!! Tueh!!@!
ReplyDeleteDear Anon, that's Nigeria for you.
DeleteYou could have told her off without including the bad luck part.
ReplyDelete