THREAT TO CALL OFF WEDDING
I accompanied my best friend to marry his bride traditionally in her community, and after the TM we were waiting for our bus to come and take us back to our destination when I saw this beautiful lady with a shiny dark skin.
I was mesmerized by her beauty. I left the people that I came with and chased after her, when I finally caught up with her we talked and she gave me her number and we started dating.
I invited her over to my city and one thing lend to another and she got pregnant.
She said in her culture as the first daughter you're not supposed to get pregnant outside wedlock so I was forced to start marriage proceedings. Our families met and we agreed on a date, everything was going on smoothly until my sister in the UK told her to send the list of things that she will use for her traditional and white wedding so she could send them to her.
My bride to be refused to send the list. My sister will call and complain that my bride is yet to send the list of the things she need. Why? Even me I'm beginning to wonder why she hasn't sent a common list for over 2 weeks that my sister has been asking for it.
At this point I was very upset and told her to tell me what the problem is or is it that she doesn't want my sister's help or what?
She said there is no problem. She has been so busy with the planning of the wedding that she forgot to send the list. I told her no problem send it right now so we can be done with this list issue. She said I shouldn't worry that she will send it before the end of the day, I said no, send it right now I want this to be over and done with.
My fiance was looking at me like a statue she cannot type.
At this point I was confused is it that she cannot type or she cannot write but she can read which one? I now had to gently ask her if she can read or write she said neither. So I am about to get married to an illiterate. To say I am shocked was an understatement. I was blown away.
How can a beautiful girl like this not have basic education. She now explained to me that her parents sent her to stay with her rich Aunty in the hope that she will sponsor her education but the said Aunty refused to send her to school.
I told her I understand her predicament and I'm sorry that the person that was supposed to help her get basic education failed her. I told her it is not too late for her to get basic education. I will enroll her in adult school.
This woman looked at me and said she will not attend adult school. That adult school is beneath her. I told her if she doesn't attend adult school I'm calling off the wedding. How can somebody that cannot read or write have so much pride.
My family says I should take it easy with her it's probably shame and not pride that she's feeling.
So all the time you both were dating and gbenshing, you did not chat on whatsapp?...It is a pity because her illiteracy will impact on your child..lease convince her to go to school..
So all the time you both were dating and gbenshing, you did not chat on whatsapp?...It is a pity because her illiteracy will impact on your child..lease convince her to go to school..
Whether you call off the wedding or not she is the child's mother and the baby will still be impacted...
You can try and threaten her that you will cancel the wedding to see if she will agree..
Nah waaaa. She couldn't ask someone else to help her write or type it. Poster if you threaten her she will agree, after the wedding she will go back to factory setting. Decide if it's something you can leave with, she obviously doesn't want to learn.
ReplyDeleteCan you get her private tutoring until she gets to a level and can go to adult school? Your firstborn is coming out of her so please work through this obstacle. There used to be the Hooked on Phonics program back in the day for teaching literacy at home. Ask an educator what the options are and what they recommend in their professional opinion.
ReplyDeleteIt is obvious that you never had a high level conversation with her to see her intelligence level. You were mesmerized by her beauty and operated completely on your reptilian brain. Please stand by her. You got her pregnant so follow through with the wedding. Do not be another disappointment of broken promises in her life.
God has a way of using situations in our lives for a greater purpose. She may be carrying the next Nicola Tesla inside of her, so the world will marvel how someone so intelligent was born from an illiterate person. See this through with patience, empathy and compassion. You need to be selfless and let her see that you do not judge her and will help her to overcome this. Work as a team. Also give her space to breathe
This 👍
DeleteGood comment.
DeleteYou call her an illiterate meanwhile u are the bigger illiterate, you went around sleeping and even impregnating a lady without knowing the most basic info about her. Most of u as soon as u see a fine lady, the first thing that runs through ur mind is how to bed her. Good for u, next time u will pause and think deep before indulging ur indisciplined self. Just go ahead and marry her because even if you don’t, it doesn’t change the fact that u slept and had a child with an ‘illiterate’.
ReplyDeleteE no tire you? I like everything that happened to him. That's how they loose their sense because of body endowment
DeletePls stop
DeleteIf she didn’t speak badly how was he to guess someone her age had no schooling at all
Do ppl just jump into bed with ppl they just met without talking and getting to them first? Atleast ask questions like whr she is from, what she studied, what uni she went to and the rest. Oh! I forgot u ppl no longer have talking stage, u get straight to bed and impregnate urselves. U guys call it ‘wokeness’
DeleteWhat about a private tutor
ReplyDeleteI personally don’t like adult school or primary or secondary school for adults
It’s not for everyone and can be rather demeaning. My relative did it but he only had to go back and do Ss3 so he could take jamb and waec. Even then I was rather to pay for personal tutor so he could do GCE and Jsmb instead of Waec but he said not to worry
Pls come up with other ways she can get an education. That school with small children no easy at all
Get her a private tutor combined with lots of lessons on YouTube (there are plenty)
If she refuses private tutor, then you have a different problem and I’d say postpone the wedding
She needs to go to Adult school o.
ReplyDeletePoster ma really forced to begin marriage proceedings like dem carry gun to your cucumber to smash.
Sdk that's men for you, some just dey follow beauty and genital greets. You no even fit advice then ae a friend or family. Na post cum clarity dey worry this one.
You got carried away by her beauty and forgot to take your time to do little findings about who she is based on her educational background, I am sure you would have gotten some clue. You didn't have any WhatsApp messages or sms with her before she got pregnant.
ReplyDeleteMeaning you both have been doing phone conversation and physical. How comes she can speak well that you didn't notice that or you gor carried away with beauty and didn't do the needful. The deed has been done already no need to call off the wedding when she is already pregnant with your first child. If you call off the wedding she will birth your child and still be in your life directly or indirectly.
You have to calm down and speak to her about the adult education thing, you don't have to threaten hwr so hard because some people will never give in to threat. Someone like myself, if you use threat to get me to do something you are on your own cos I will never do that. You better use love instead of threat to get hwr into becoming who you want her to be cos right now she is not interested with education.
Treat this subject with respect, do not be little her but rather let her understand the benefits of education. You went for her not because of education, please don't make it look like education is all she can offer. With love you can win her over but with fight and threats you will have a stubborn and nagging woman.
If you are just finding out that your wife to be isn't lettered, then you aren't different from her. Cos tell me why all the while you were digging each other, you didn't bother to know that part of her, you were only interested in her hole. You people never had discussions?? Getting to know each other?Na wa!
ReplyDeleteNo wonder they say men reason with their third leg. Both of Una deserve each other.
You better convince her to go to adult school cos whatever decision you take, she'll still have your child.
God bless u, same thing i said up there and one woke anon like him is telling me to stop, that if she spoke good english, how was he supposed to know she didnt go to sch. Can u imagine! Someone he’s been having sex with, even carrying his baby oo.
DeletePlease take it easy with her, love conquers all
ReplyDeleteDo not call off the wedding, She can still go to school, Try and convince, And you can even take her to the adult school, for to see for herself and understand that , there is no shame in it.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteYou mean you were just pounding kpekus? Who read menu on dates?
ReplyDeleteYou didn't chat?ewo ..voice notes
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ReplyDeleteChairman,Her getting pregnant for you without you knowing the basics about her,says a lot about how poor you are at choices,priorities of values and also life decision making.
ReplyDeleteShe outsmarted you,meaning she might be an illiterate but she has wisdom in her and knows her way around people and various real life OT.
Get her a private tutor,start from that,gradually she would grow and there would be a need for her to improve to going to a physical school later.
An illiterate is simply someone that can't read or write..NOT a human being that is not worth marrying.
What you should be afraid of is an illiterate who isnt street-smart same time(double package);and will never bring themselves down to learn no matter your pressure as their spouse,it's a time-bomb.
Wish you all the best.
@MARTINS
If she deceived him then she’s not worth marrying
DeleteTake care of your child and marry someone else
If she’s remorseful, forgive if you still trust her
She probably said she didn’t go to university but never admitted no education at all
DeleteThe joke is on you handsome 🤪🙄
ReplyDeleteU have abused the words handsome and beautiful so much and it is now irritating.. have u seen him to know if he is handsome or not ?
DeleteYou are blaming her for been illiterate and beautiful what of you that is literate bit am idiot;only to pound kpekus with talking or what ,oga you do have marriaged carry you load .Even if you don't marry you get baby with her next time you will look before you leap
ReplyDeleteSo when you start dating,you didn't notice that she is not educated?
ReplyDeleteThis is unbelievable.
ReplyDeleteYou are the bigger illiterate. Mesmerized by beauty. Did not do his due diligence. Lack of communication in relationship.
Stubborn woman.
You will regret marrying her down the line. Enjoy sha.
I find it hard to believe that you guys never discussed school life or growing up years while dating. Questions like names of school, course of study, year of graduation, etc. are very common when dating.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can consider teaching her the basics by yourself. Get her to also change her mindset during this your teaching period. She needs to start seeing things differently, and you are in the best position to help her do this. Gradually she will become willing to get better educated herself. YouTube videos can help you guys, both in the academic aspect and her psychology generally.
Best wishes to you both.
I would personally call off the wedding.
ReplyDeleteI don’t see this ending well. You’re not compatible. You already feel she’s beneath you and she’s not interested in leveling up.
Oh boy!!! You're in for it ooo. I can tell you from experience. You will not find that marriage easy at all. And she's the one that will stay with your kids the most. Anything you see, take am
ReplyDeletePoster, illiteracy aside, the foundation of your relationship is faulty. No simple background info about her. All you saw was beauty.
ReplyDeleteAs a capable man, why should your sister be asking for list from your intended? She is not getting married to your sister, she is getting married to you. You are supposed to get the list from her and your family can support via you.
Don’t call off the wedding pls. I advise you help her with as much compassion as you could muster.
ReplyDeleteMy help speaks English fluently, a pretty girl in her 20s, because she had lived with a couple who has small children but couldn’t read or write neither did she know the alphabets.
I like this girl so much, buy her beautiful stuff that people believe she’s my child or blood relative.
So to help her I ensured she started learning alphabets(sounds) on YouTube, she graduated to 2 letter words, three letter words etc that right now she writes full sentences.
I started teaching her basic maths…addition, subtraction, long multiplication etc…just the basics.
She just has 18 months to spend with me but you will be amazed at how much she has learnt that she even posts stuff on TikTok and her Status.
Do all you can to help her because some of us were just privileged.
The lying is the real issue here
DeleteAre you sure that girl is not an undiagnosed case of dyslexia?. Maybe she's telling that story to cover her lack of understanding f her problem. Dig deeper. She may be dyslexic. Its not difficult to tell a dyslexic from an illiterate. They tend to do well with speaking but have a problem with reading and writing especially so with spelling. Hence her inability to text, becos she cant spell.
ReplyDelete