ADVICE NEEDED
House I need advice.
I withdrew my children from their former school, though the school is good academically but they lack basic amenities and aesthetics like the new school I took them,I as expecting the new school to exceed my expectations cos it's times 4 of the fee we were paying in their former school but this school is just like their former school academically and they lack discipline and some of their teachers are just wearing suit up and down they don't know how to teach.
Please is it a wise decision to return them back to the former school? Hope it won't affect their self esteem and their studies?
Please is it a wise decision to return them back to the former school? Hope it won't affect their self esteem and their studies?
Or I should take them to another school with good reviews. Most parents are talking of withdrawing from this new school cos it seems it a sham.
Ps. They're in secondary school and I noticed they don't mix with their former classmates again and I always rebuke them , I don't know if they'll feel comfortable with their former classmates again.
Ps. They're in secondary school and I noticed they don't mix with their former classmates again and I always rebuke them , I don't know if they'll feel comfortable with their former classmates again.
Hmmmmm you are looking for a perfect school? there is none! Your kids are already in secondary school so they should have found their bearing academically nah? which one is this changing of school up and down? Dont send them to their old school, they will not feel comfortable.
If you honestly feel that this new school was a mistake, then look for a new school but please do not send them back to the old school......
Also try to get them lesson teachers for after school hours.
Better don't take them to former school because they will asked the reason for their leaving even if you don't want to tell the truth ,your children will always do
ReplyDeleteChange their schools and don't return them to their former school
ReplyDeleteChange their schools and don't return them to their former school
ReplyDeleteI would take my kids out of school for lacking basic amenities or filthy surroundings, so your first decision was not wrong, you just didn’t do proper research.
ReplyDeleteIf the children are becoming snobs and pride filled because of the status of the new school then that is more concerning. Pride and arrogance can actually cause God to stop His blessings in their lives.
Every teacher will not be exceptional, you are probably not exceptional at your job but you still take in an income. If they are in the lower school then moving them is easier. If they are in the upper school and will graduate soon it may be best just to leave them. They are at an age where you can speak with them. Have you asked them what they would like? You can also join the parent teachers association and share your thoughts. If the school has a board you can share your thoughts through the board too.
If you and them want to see them in a competitive university then you may have to move them if the academic standards are not up to par but do good research before changing schools again and explain to them why you are making these choices so that they understand it’s their future than you are thinking about. Be open to their input as well. Your home is not a communist country, as a family you should all working as a team.
Please make up Ur mind this time around.
ReplyDeleteConstantly changing your children's school has psychological effects on them.
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Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThis is why I always recommend that parents visit any intended school as a mystery shopper. Seeing things live and direct will give you a clearer picture beyond what the school management presents.......
Remember that as much as academic excellence is very important, basic amenities like steady water, functioning labs, safe classrooms e.t.c and the general learning environment also matter.....When assessing a school, try to be clear on your reasons:
Are you changing schools because of your own evaluation criteria, or simply because of what other parents are saying? Do you regularly attend PTA meetings and open day? Have you informed the school about your concerns? It is also good to give your honest feedback so they can improve and do better....
What exactly are the things you cannot compromise on? Highlight those clearly before making a move by making a list of what is important before making a decision.....
Also, check the school’s prospectus, WAEC/NECO results, and other indicators of performance......
Finally, please be careful about changing schools too often.....Beyond the academics, frequent transfers can destabilize children emotionally and mentally......
Know what you want, evaluate thoroughly, and make a decision that balances academics, facilities, discipline, and your children’s overall well-being.....
All the best....
God bless you St. everything she wrote was about her, not about her children, i like how you suggested in ur last paragraph that she should atleast consider their wellbeing in whatever decision she wud take.
DeleteYour reasons are valid. You have to sit your kids down and educate them,why you must take them back to their former school. At the end,it will be beneficial to them. You and them don't owe anyone,any explanation. I prefer academic excellence to social standards.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why others are telling you not to send them back to the old school. To me, if the old school is better, then you should take them back there. I think that will teach them, there's no shame in making better choices and correcting mistakes.
ReplyDeleteHowever they should be council and well talked to to understand.
My only issue is, if the 1st school is not hygienic then by all means look for another school entirely for them.
My sister took her kids back to their old school and they're fine .nothing wrong in it.
DeleteYou are just like my friend whom i rebuked last session. You are looking for aesthetics, it is a lie, you don’t care about their academic performance, u are looking to boost ur ego, u want to make a point, you want them to mingle with the kids of the high and mighty in the society, you want them to speak phonetics. Well it is ur call, by the time you mess with their academic stability, you would still be the one to pay for it eventually. I have no advice for you because i will end up doing what i did to my friend. I insulted her, i dnt know you, so i won’t waste my energy on you. But ask urself, if the school you attended was perfect ornif you have ever seen a perfect institution anywhr in ur life.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong if she wants her kids to mingle with the rich and mighty. Who you know matters a lot in life. That is why networking is very important. Same way there is nothing wrong with aesthetics as branding is important aswell. So please give her a breather. What she needs is where she can get everything Rich and powerful, aesthetics and good teaching under one roof.
DeleteBad friend you are
DeleteAnon 18:08 I put it to you, you are jealous of your friend so when the opportunity came you mince no words in insulting her. I hope she saw through you and did not cower. Please work on yourself esteem. People sending their children to a high value schools shouldn't trigger you the way it has.
Delete16:46, everything you wrote is about her, not about the kids and their performance. If the schooling is for them not her, then we should concentrate on where they have found balance, not where is not ‘aesthetically’ good for theIr mother.
Delete17:09, u r welcome. Sometimes we all need that one ‘bad friend’ that will tell you what you don’t want to hear. My friend moved her kids from their former sch for this same ‘aesthestics’ reason, she got another school, had registered them but then wanted to move them because the head teacher ‘didn’t greet her well’ that the woman was behaving like she had seen her finish. She was willing to trade her kids stability for that petty reason.
BTW, i’d do it again a million times over when necessary. Sorry i’m not sorry.
You insulted her for her choice? Wow
DeleteDon't return them to their former school. It will affect them. Just ask around for a good school and register them there. Changing schools several times is not good.
ReplyDeleteChanging the school of children affects them. You have to be careful how you do it and the reasons why?
ReplyDeleteI will also suggest you talk with your children and know how they feel and what they are thinking. Don't just remove them without talking with them. They are the main actors in this. And how they think or what they think matters.
What is your real objective?
Whatever you do in the end, get them lesson teachers. It helps.
ReplyDeleteContrary to what many may say, you made the right decision for you. Nigerians like to pretend but social class is important. Your kids should not become snobs though but they should have the opportunity to network within their social class and improve their accents etc since that is what you are after. Engage extra coaching for them to improve their academics but don't move them. A school no matter how good should never lack basic hygiene as you will end up spending money on diseases and mental health issues your kids could develop.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is this: don’t take them back to the old school if the facilities are truly that bad. Even if the teachers are good, your children deserve a comfortable, hygienic, and inspiring environment, because poor amenities can affect their confidence in the long run. At the same time, don’t remain in the new school either, you’re paying four times more yet getting less academically and with no discipline, and that one is just waste of money plus frustration. The best option is to start scouting for another school that has balance, strong academics, proper discipline, and basic amenities. Before deciding, go there yourself (not only on Open Day when everywhere is “arranged”), check the toilets, ask about class sizes, the discipline structure, and the teachers’ qualifications. Even take time to speak with former and current parents if possible. That way you’ll make a decision that gives your children dignity, quality, and the right environment to thrive.
ReplyDeleteIf going back to their former school is going to be your place of peace when it comes to your wards academic. It'll equally be a blessing to the school,
ReplyDeleteDO IT!
This changing up and down is not the best, especially in secondary school. They need stability abeg. Let them stay in the new school.
ReplyDeleteTaking them to their former school is a no for me, why don't you check first another school with good reviews. You should also pick between good teaching, discipline and good amenities for your children. You can hardly get all the three in one.
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteToo often, parents stand in the way of their children’s growth without knowing it. As Stella rightly said, perfection is an illusion, but standards exist. What unsettles a child most is not a plain classroom or school compound, but the constant shifting of ground beneath their feet - instability. Education is not about parental ego - it is about their academics, discipline, and emotional balance.
If the new school is failing, accept the loss and plan wisely before the next step. Do not keep tossing them from one school to another; each transfer has an adverse effect and chips away at their confidence. Sit with them, listen, and weigh their well-being before deciding. Sound choices are born from research, consultation, and commitment - not impulse, not comparison, not the whispers of other parents.
Years ago, when I taught Physics, Mathematics, Government, and Economics, a wealthy parent enrolled five children in our school. Fees were always paid for an entire year in advance, every detail covered. Then suddenly, all five were withdrawn because the school lacked buses and looked too bare. Within one year, the children had been moved across two different schools - and their performance collapsed.
The two eldest, once brilliant in the sciences, struggled so badly that I was hired to tutor them at home. They eventually begged their parent to return to our school, and when they did, they found their footing again. The younger ones remain there to this day, thriving. There is no shame in retracing your steps when it secures your children’s future - safety, discipline, and a place where learning truly takes root.
Poster like u get spiritual problem. Just open ur school. U affecting the cognitive part and social engineering of ur children
ReplyDelete