Hmmmm
Our rent will be due on September 1st and I'm just finding out that my dear wife, borrowed her sister our rent money, that I gave to her to keep.
My wife, has an old account that she no longer uses. I pay in money every month to save up for our rent and I've been doing this for years. We've never had any problems until now.
She said, she thought her sister would have returned the money by now but unfortunately her sister was scammed.
And she's just telling me now, when we have just few days left to pay our rent.
I called her sister's husband to see how they can at least pay part of the money. Her sister's husband said what I'm telling him is news to him.
He's not aware of such an arrangement between his wife and my wife neither is he aware that his wife was scammed.
He said, knowing his wife, if she was really scammed, she would have told him.
Is my wife lying to me?
The worst part is, she's not even remorseful. She said if I don't have money, I should go and borrow and pay the rent. What has happened has happened. Can you imagine!
Now I'm under pressure to raise 2.5m by Monday. I'm so angry. I don't want to believe that I was scammed by my wife.
Hmmmm.....
Have you asked your wifes sister?Sorry for the late posting....Did you get the money to pay? Your wife definitely lied to you and you need to have a serious talk with her......if you cannot trust your wife with money, then its a big red flag that she can sell you and pocket the change.
She’s not remorseful is what changed my mind cos I was already believing her. She must take you to her sister and the sister must provide proof.
ReplyDeleteBe like say your wife has joined shine shine club
She’s remorseful
ReplyDeleteBut she wants to use strong face to get out of being held accountable for this
Do you have kids ?
If not, find a place to stay and tell her to do same
You can be saving another money
Tell her when yuh get rent together, you’ll get a place and you can both move in there. Simple
Hear perspective
DeleteThis is so inhumane and the worst part is that she doesn't care.
ReplyDeleteDodo.
You better contact the landlord and buy some time. You can tell the truth or use any valid excuse. Then you must go with your wife to your sil in-person to see what is happening. Who lends out 2.5mil in these times to anyone , especially when it is their housing money and not just floating around money. Let everything come out because someone is lying.
ReplyDeleteStop paying money into that account immediately and from now on deal with all major payments on your own. Never trust your wife like that again. You don’t have to mention the topic again just move in silence when it comes to money matters.
Now, the statement your wife made is interesting. Even if she is annoyed why would she make such a remark? Please take stock of your union to see if respect has been lost. Perhaps you are married to yourself.
Loaning 2.5 lm to your sister no matter the times is not a shock
DeleteBut it’s looking like maybe she didn’t
Or maybe she loaned cash and her husband knows they can deny and get out of paying
Word@15:24
Delete"Stop paying money into that account immediately and from now on deal with all major payments on your own."
Poster,
Leave the rest if you want to keep enjoying the marriage as you have enjoying it before this rent issue.
The Man only enjoys the typical Nigerian marriage by eating the leftover of his wife's meal.
If your SIL confirms her sister's statement, what would you do?
A man politely asked his Aunt-in-law over a laptop he bought for his then fiancee but the woman virtually threw away and promised to buy back. The laptop would be worth N450k at today's rate. The woman never forgave her "sister" and the man.
There’s more to it, wondering why your wife is not remorseful. I think she’s lying, maybe she didn’t loaned her money, probably used it for something else.
ReplyDeleteIf your wife can do this, then she can do anything to you without remorse.
That's too bad, maybe she's even lying on her sister, your wife needs to be taught a great lesson, otherwise if she gets away with this, she will still do another one, that's how she will continue to be frustrating you, because clearly, this is frustrating.
ReplyDeleteIf your wife's sister didn't collect the money, what did she use the money for, that she doesn't want to provide the money, land, gold, secret lover, e.t.c?
Do your thorough investigation and know where the money is, you need to be careful of your wife, she's definitely up to no good, unless she truly gave her sister the money.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteYour anger is very valid and it touches two areas that affects any relationship: Finances & Trust....Unfortunately, your wife is callous and not remorseful which is a RED SEA not even a FLAG......Telling you to go borrow to pay the money is where I find very dismissive & saddening, she is a highly irresponsible woman....I believe she is lying and I don't buy lending her sister-in-law the money; either she has a betting problem, ''invest'' the money into wonder banks or ponzi scheme and she squander the money for her pleasure.....
Here is my advice
1. Since your rent is due, unfortunately you might have to dip your hands in your emergency funds and borrow to pay up....The thing is you can't have your family's things thrown out or if you need some time, request for your landlord or caretaker to give you some grace period say 3 - 6 months to pay up.....
2. Open a separate account for saving your rent without having an ATM or like I always advice - open a mutual fund account (Money market acc) here you save and earn higher interest compared to your traditional bank account....
3. Once you are able to raise the money to pay, take action by asking her calmly what she used the money for and express your disappointment in her....Infact involve your inlaws in this matter or invite someone she has deep respect for to wade into this....
4. Once she takes responsibility, have a repayment plan where the amount to be repaid by her is stated with your inlaws or a respectable elder as witnesses....
I wish you all the wisdom and strength...Honestly her attitude is so abhorring...Please your actions are with calmness not from a place of anger....
All the best...
Ask for statement of account for records of money transfers
ReplyDeleteYou'll know exactly what happened to the money
Poster don't take it lightly. Call the sister involved and take action . I don't like deceitful people. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteNo be here una dey tell women to start saving for themselves?
ReplyDeleteWomen that are not working?
Women who work but whose salaries would barely feed them alone if they were single, or just cover only their transport fare to work and yet, because of that work, shirk all domestics at home for their husbands?
Women who do not contribute a penny or kobo to all round family finance?
If to say the Poster shared rent to his wife as her contribution to the family welfare, the rent would have been complete in her hands
#Yinmu
First things first, na clear breach of trust. Rent money is not pocket change. For years you’ve been faithfully saving with her, and this time she just carried am dash her sister without your consent? That one alone don show red flag.
ReplyDeleteSecond, the story no balance. If truly her sister was scammed, why her husband no know? For Naija house, scam matter no dey hide, because everybody go dey shout immediately. For the man to say e never hear anything, e means either:
Her sister hide am from her husband (which already na problem), or
Your wife no dey talk true.
Third her reaction is the biggest wahala. No remorse, no apology, no sense of urgency. Instead she dey tell you to go and borrow? That kain statement shows she no understand the weight of what she did. In Naija we say: "Who no dey sorry, fit repeat the offence."
💡 Advice wey make sense:
Remove emotions, face the rent first. If you no pay, landlord no go want to hear story. Secure roof over your head, whether by borrowing short-term, or negotiating with landlord for small extension.
After you settle rent, sit her down. This matter need family meeting style. If she dey lie, truth go still surface. You gats decide if this is just foolishness or deliberate deceit.
Protect yourself going forward. Abeg, don’t keep all rent money with her again. Open separate account, dey save directly. No need to create temptation where trust already don break.
Her attitude na the real danger. If she cannot own up and beg, you need to think deeply about your partnership. Marriage na for trust, without it, wahala full ground.
My brother, let me talk am the way we say for Naija "If your partner dey hide meat from pot, hunger never start. But when dem begin sell pot, you go know say suffering don land."
You better leave her in the apartment to sort out the rent. Don't pay it she used it for something else . Why do you people marry rubbish?
ReplyDeleteBest advice 👍
DeleteHmmm, This is serious, Since she's the one who gave the money out to her sister that was scammed, then she has to look for a way to bring it back, She should also take her advise and look for where to loan money from abi. Just take it easy maka HBP.
ReplyDeleteThis is Really Really Painful
ReplyDeleteChaiiiiiiii
Hello iya Boys
Your wife is heartless. Please if you can, try to look for the money somewhere else and pay. But note , anytime she needs any personal money from you or they have a family function, kindly tell her to deduct it from the money she borrowed her sis. If she wants to be angry let her be angry, don't allow that woman to see one Naira of your money for her personal stuffs until you're done deducting the money and if she wants to go because of that,help her to hire a moving vehicle
ReplyDeleteStella, the wife has already sold him and pocketed the change.
ReplyDeleteImagine the cold heartedness. Let's believe her a bit and try to make sense of this. If at all she said her sister was scammed, why did she wait until OP asked for the rent before informing him? That is total disregard for her husband.
The absolute lack of remorse is another thing entirely. On a normal, I swear na to carry police go arrest dat sister in-law. The money must comot one way or another. If the family breaks apart as a result, fine.
This is treachery of the highest order.
Pack few of your things and find a place to stay for now then watch her suffer for her wickedness.
ReplyDeleteIf na me, that wife and her sister dey go police cell. Them go dey there until they talk wetin happen to my money and pay me complete.
ReplyDeleteTake her to the bank to print statement of the account. You will uncover the truth.
ReplyDeleteObviously, your wife might have used it for another purpose and she know you will believe her.
This is just so sad. This is what causes trust issues in homes. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. So painful
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot our dear man is not telling us, but based on the scanty info we have to work on. It's either the wife is or had already checked herself out of the marriage. The red flags have been there all these while but you are not seeing it. Please sot down in a quiet place and replay your life in your mind, then you will understand what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteThis is unacceptable, your wife and her sister should give you proof of how she sent the money to her sister and how her sister got scammed. Else let the whole family get to know about her attitude. The economy is not smiling at the moment, everyone is working hard to have a life. One person cannot be a banana peel to others just in the name of marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf she feels that is easy to make money or get the 2.5m, let hwr raise the money. You can send the landlord or caretaker to collect the rent from your wife. Let them know you have given her the money and out of town. They should give her some fire and then her head will reset.
Some women are so evil,they see this marriage as if they are doing some men favor,how can you put someone in such pressure and be this arrogant?
ReplyDelete