WICKED MOTHER
Stella.
I think I am about to offend God through my mother.
Because I am really fed up with her and her ways. She has threatened to lay a curse on me, and I have dared her to do so.
I am in my middle 30s and mom is in her early 70s.
This is a mother who would not give me food for days just because I offended her and anyone who gave me food in that compound was an enemy of hers. (I can’t count how many days dad would not eat too because of misunderstandings or when my poor father was unable to put money down for food).
This is a mother who would beat me like a thief, and she beats with whatever her hand can reach. (I was still as young as 10 yrs old then)
This is a mother who did not know how I finished university. I lost my dad in my uni days, then his sister came through for me till I finished my education.
This is a mother whose other older children would give their used clothes to give to me whenever she goes to visit them, but instead, she would sell them or take them to her village and dash them there saying her children do not want them anymore, she sometimes exchanged them with oniparo to collect plastic baff or buckets.
Because I am really fed up with her and her ways. She has threatened to lay a curse on me, and I have dared her to do so.
I am in my middle 30s and mom is in her early 70s.
This is a mother who would not give me food for days just because I offended her and anyone who gave me food in that compound was an enemy of hers. (I can’t count how many days dad would not eat too because of misunderstandings or when my poor father was unable to put money down for food).
This is a mother who would beat me like a thief, and she beats with whatever her hand can reach. (I was still as young as 10 yrs old then)
This is a mother who did not know how I finished university. I lost my dad in my uni days, then his sister came through for me till I finished my education.
This is a mother whose other older children would give their used clothes to give to me whenever she goes to visit them, but instead, she would sell them or take them to her village and dash them there saying her children do not want them anymore, she sometimes exchanged them with oniparo to collect plastic baff or buckets.
Whenever they ask her why she did such, she would say they are her children’s clothes and can do whatever with them. She told me so many times that she has other children that are doing well, and she would not be needing me for anything.
This is a mother whose family and friends would come, and each time they came, she would make me kneel down in front of them and hip heavy lies on me and they too would believe her and beat me. (I could not even tell my dad whenever he came back because she would beat me for reporting her to him)
This is a mother who did not wash my clothes when I was little but now that I can afford dry cleaning services, she wants to wash my clothes. (telling me I don’t want her to wash it so that I would not give her money for doing so)
I would come home on holidays and mom would not even give me transportation fare to go back to school. I would cry to school most times, and she wouldn’t blink an eye.
I would have believed I was her stepdaughter or even adopted if not for our resemblance. Because up till now, I still wonder why that wickedness.
It’s the same mother that wants me to take care of her.
I told myself that I will not spend my one naira on her when I eventually start to make money, but people told me not to do that as I will be offending God through her, then I decided to place her on a monthly allowance, bought her a new phone, buy foodstuffs at home, always pays the bills at home and many more. Despite all this, she is always demanding more.
Now, if there is a little delay in sending her monthly money due to one reason or the other, the next thing mom would do is pick up her phone and start sending me annoying messages asking if I am expecting her to be begging me for her right. Also, she would say that it’s only one curse she would lay on me and that is all.
This is a mother whose family and friends would come, and each time they came, she would make me kneel down in front of them and hip heavy lies on me and they too would believe her and beat me. (I could not even tell my dad whenever he came back because she would beat me for reporting her to him)
This is a mother who did not wash my clothes when I was little but now that I can afford dry cleaning services, she wants to wash my clothes. (telling me I don’t want her to wash it so that I would not give her money for doing so)
I would come home on holidays and mom would not even give me transportation fare to go back to school. I would cry to school most times, and she wouldn’t blink an eye.
I would have believed I was her stepdaughter or even adopted if not for our resemblance. Because up till now, I still wonder why that wickedness.
It’s the same mother that wants me to take care of her.
I told myself that I will not spend my one naira on her when I eventually start to make money, but people told me not to do that as I will be offending God through her, then I decided to place her on a monthly allowance, bought her a new phone, buy foodstuffs at home, always pays the bills at home and many more. Despite all this, she is always demanding more.
Now, if there is a little delay in sending her monthly money due to one reason or the other, the next thing mom would do is pick up her phone and start sending me annoying messages asking if I am expecting her to be begging me for her right. Also, she would say that it’s only one curse she would lay on me and that is all.
I told her to go ahead and curse me and let’s see if it will manifest. I think I made her feel too important.
Where was she when I needed a mother to care for me?
Now, I only want to give her the monthly allowance and stop the house bill, foodstuffs and all the extra money. Even the monthly allowance will be when I am pleased to send it and not the usual fixed date as before. And if she pushes me further than this, I will not give her anything again.
She did not take care of me and should not expect any special treatment from me, after all I am not the only child she has.
Her other children that are doing well are not giving her money like before. So, she is putting all the pressure on me that she needs nothing from. But she shouldn’t because she does not deserve it. Maybe she has forgotten how she treated me when I was growing up.
I don’t hate her, I have forgiven her, but I will never forget all that she made me go through. And each time I remember, I feel so angry.
Is my anger justified?
Is this how all mothers behave?
Where was she when I needed a mother to care for me?
Now, I only want to give her the monthly allowance and stop the house bill, foodstuffs and all the extra money. Even the monthly allowance will be when I am pleased to send it and not the usual fixed date as before. And if she pushes me further than this, I will not give her anything again.
She did not take care of me and should not expect any special treatment from me, after all I am not the only child she has.
Her other children that are doing well are not giving her money like before. So, she is putting all the pressure on me that she needs nothing from. But she shouldn’t because she does not deserve it. Maybe she has forgotten how she treated me when I was growing up.
I don’t hate her, I have forgiven her, but I will never forget all that she made me go through. And each time I remember, I feel so angry.
Is my anger justified?
Is this how all mothers behave?
Your anger is justified ....In fact I am even angry on your behalf.. this is a very annoying narrative...Some women should not be mums at all....It seems you were the scapegoat for some kind of anger and resentment she felt towards your dad.....
Not all mother sare like, some are worse and some are the best....
Do not let her make you become like her.....
I dont know what else to advice you cos no matter how angry you are, blood runs through your veins and she is your mum.....She is probably also going through mental health issues cos she does not appear normal at all..
Please take it easy with her and just see her as a sick person that needs help....
You are strong and will be fine OK?
Poster forget about resemblance, go back to your aunt that your father’s sister that helped you complete your Uni and ask questions. Cry to her and ask her if that woman is truly your mother or you’re her husband’s love child. Come back and tell us your findings
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
DeleteI will never forget this quote from an ex ''What we forgive, we overcome but what we hate, we become''.....This is very painful and sad.....And I understand you very well....Please forgive her and heal but you can love from a distance....The boundary is for you to heal so well....
What happened to you is a blessing in disguise....It will build your resilience and you will be able to overcome and handle people of such character and attitude.....It builds some sort of strength in you....But go for therapy and surround all the love you have....Your mom is a narcissist and a gaslighter....Show no emotions to her because that is where she feeds off of your energy....Either mirror her character or show none....Give her what you can as monthly upkeep when you have.....
If you have give her, but don't use this as a means to punish her....Trust me she is living in her own self-punishment because she has deprived herself one of the most priceless -relationship God gave us - mother-child relationship....
Please create a beautiful life for yourself and learn what you shouldn't be.....
All the best.....
There is nothing you can tell me that will justify why you have not blocked her from contacting and just sending her what you feel is right monthly.?. Kilode?.
ReplyDeleteYou have an unhealthy attachment to trauma or people pleasing. Be careful cos it may play out on your relationships with friends, at work and romance. Detach yourself from this situationship and breathe.
You don't need to stop extending your kind benovelence to her because she has few more years to spend with you.
ReplyDeleteNever mind her ingratitude.
God that has blessed you now we keep blessing you.
Please don't stop with anything you give to her.
Dodo.
Your anger is justified. One of these days, tell her how wicked she's been to you even when you were a baby. Tell her how she made life miserable for you and your dad and your dad eventually did not last.
ReplyDeleteTell her she ought to be ashamed of herself for even daring to expect something from you. Tell her you are only trying to please God that's why you do all that for her, cos she does not deserve it.
Let her know how terrible she's been as a mother and wife and that you pray she never gets to meet any of your children. She will not sleep well that night.
I feel your pain. Go see a Therapist. So much you need to say out to free your heart so you can truly move on and be free.
ReplyDeleteAlso go to God in prayer, you've forgiven her but you've not let go of the hurt. In Prayer, pray for her; your mother. Just keep praying for her, gradually you'll start seeing her differently and then you'll truly be at peace and the past won't hurt anymore.
You will be fine.
🤗🤗🤗
Some mother's are from the deepest part of hell. I have a friend whose mother did all these to,and more. Now that my friend is all grown, she is pretending to be the best mother ever,but my friend isn't buying it at all. You are even kind enough to still place her on monthly allowance. She laid her bed that way, she should lie on it. And forget that notion or thinking that God will be angry with you if you don't help her, whosai! You have forgiven her like the holy book says, but you can also cut her off if you feel like. Isn't God watching us all?
ReplyDeleteIf you must, just give her money
ReplyDeleteDon’t go and buy food stuff for her
Don’t put any extra effort in. Send money and be done. Don’t answer calls that annoy you
If she does too much, just block her and only send money
Wicked evil woman
Block her asap and send her stipends from time to time if you feel like it. Don't let anybody blackmail you and her curse won't have any effect on you.
ReplyDeleteWhen people are being treated like this, it is because the mark of God is upon their lives. Na that Mark be the only reason responsible for this kind of hatred. I have experienced it first hand. I know what it means. From history too. We have Joseph, David, Jepthah, just to mention a few and even Joyce Meyer. She was sexually molested by her own dad over 200 times before she turned 18. All these while the mum was in the know. Both dad and mum were a team. Just see the Big picture. It's not necessarily about you. There is a glory you are carrying and I believe ministry would come out of this. 1 Peter 4:14.
ReplyDeleteParental manipulation needs to be talked about more especially from parents that didn’t take care of their kids and want their kids to take care of them when they are old. I am in this situation but I do my best when I can. My dear sister, do your best and do not allow anyone make you sin against God. It’s hard but you can do it, give her what you can but don’t have high blood pressure for anyone. If you die, they’ll move on
ReplyDeleteYou may have forgiven but you have not healed. Your anger and resentment is justifiable though. I think your mum has serious issues and you are her scapegoat. Focus on yourself first so you don;t become like her. I think you need to stop all contact with her and distance yourself. Send her what you can afford regularly and let that be it. A curse with no cause will never take hold, so be firm and stand your ground.
ReplyDeleteUr main problem is setting boundaries. Learn to set healthy boundaries in all ur relationships and watch people respect you, be it parents, spouse, colleagues, children, aquaintances, etc.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you are too available to her, give her space but be kind to her, she is ur mother and like someone up there said, she won’t be around for too long. Still give her space and make her see it, she has total control of u, because she has total control of ur emotions, and she knows it. She knows the message to send and the words to say to get u all worked up. Work on that!
Poster God bless and direct you in dealing with this, you're justified in whatever actions you take, just keep doing good to her,some mother are like that.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what happened to me. My chronicle was here. She cursed, she best chest, laps, womb, poured salt of her food for me.
ReplyDeleteNow that she is gone, it's still me to bury her. Her remain is still in mortuary many months now.
I just sneaked into the mortuary with the help of the morticians and followed the advice of the morticians. Bought native gin, cock and the performed the rite. They spoke to the corpse. And told me what to say. I am now set to burry her. But many people in her village who knew how she treated me as a young girl told me not to attend the burial. I have done all the necessary arrangements. Paid for casket, catering, program, canopy, undertakes,etc but not sure to attend.
God has been faithful to me despite the ill treatment and curses.
My dear, it is well with you
Let her roast for a while and see if she shows any remorse. If not then extend the sabbatical.
ReplyDeleteMy dear forgive her and do what you can.zLeave judgement for God.Some mother's are so heartless.lam a victim too.My own is worst than yours.Don't let her pressure you.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very nice to are person....I kuku know my self. I am the Queen of Energy for Energy. E no born as my bastard to treat me like shit and expect anything from. I don't give a shxt who the person is.
ReplyDeleteI'm so petty, I can send a box of crumbs though DHL.💅🏽
Nonsense!
You're doing well. Your anger is justified because you are human. You have feelings. She has no right to be feeling entitled to your money based on how she treated you.
ReplyDeleteLet her call her other children. Just do for her whatever you feel like