THE PAIN OF UNFORGIVENESS
How do you forgive a father who contributed to the death of your mother?
How do you forgive a father who has deceived you all your life?
How do you forgive a father who made your mother carry out several abortions?
How do you forgive a father who cheated on your mother?
How do you forgive a father who has kept so many secrets from his children thereby making them suffer on earth?
How do you forgive a father who has rendered his children motherless ?
How do you forgive a father who you sacrificed for, who you go out of your way for who you trusted with all your life only to discover that he has been the one behind your pain and the death of your mother.
Till this day my mother has not rested in peace since she died…. How do you forgive that?
How do you forgive a father who caused my mother so much pain while she was alive?
How do you forgive that?
OH MY GOD!!!.what did you Father do that caused your mums demise??...
This pain and unforgiveness you are holding unto is too much and must have made you really really really bitter....
It may be hard but you need to release yourself from this hatred for Dad cos i am sure that it must have hindered positivity in your life.
Do you know the best revenge for what he did to your mum? The best revenge is to forgive him and make sure that you make a success of your life, free from pain and bitterness.
You can forgive him and cut him off completely or forgive him and give him a second chance....
My dad did a lot of things that i did not agree with but i forgave him and loved him until he breathed his last....
let go and LET GOD!!!
My father wanted same thing for my mum. It was Gods grace that kept her. He wanted to kill the woman that took shame away from our face. She went extra mile even when father did not send. We forgave him but we gave him arms length. He died last month without any of the children attending his burial. It's sad
ReplyDeleteI do not know how to forgive my father as well,he caused my mom so much pains!!! Including we,his children!!!
DeletePoster,may God Almighty heal us from the pains our father caused us!
Why you dey stress person..
ReplyDeleteDid we ask you to forgive him..
Abeg do you.. no stress me biko
Insensitive but true. Either forgive or don't, it's your choice. Keep in mind tho: hate only breeds more hate
DeletePlease poster. You have to let go of the pain of bitterness towards your dad. Forgiveness is healthy,both physically and spiritually. 🙏🏿🤗
ReplyDeleteWhoever you are, please forgive your dad because it’s hurting you, and stopping you from moving forward in life.
DeleteSimple! I won’t forgive!
ReplyDeleteI trust you nah..
DeleteMy prayer is that God will give me this type of strong heart, I really need it now.
I can't forgive my father....
DeleteFull stop.
Den you go hell fire !
DeleteThe forgiveness is for you and not for him because whatever happens in this life, you’re going to explain to God why you had the chance to and you never did. You have to forgive him for your sake and keep your distance and love him from afar
DeleteNo one can make me forgive who I don’t want to forgive for causing excessive hurt! No level of preaching!
DeleteYou can forgive for your own peace and let God deal with justice. After choosing peace you can also maintain emotional and physical distance so you are not stirred up by him. You can also tell him plainly why you do not and cannot maintain a relationship with him, telling him all that you have listed above. Let him know the pain you carry because of his actions.
ReplyDeleteThe forgiveness is for your peace, it is not acceptance of evil, weakness, or ignorance. You choose to forgive so you do not have to think about that person anymore and you can use your mind and thoughts more positively. Through forgiveness anger will be released, thoughts of vengeance will go away and hatred will not have a foothold in your life. Always remember that toxic emotions create disease in the body. Forgiveness acts as medicine against disease. The forgiveness is always for you and not the person. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you become friends with the forgiven, it simply means that you have chosen not to be held in a prison of toxic thoughts and emotions. You have chosen freedom, peace, and good health.
Poster follow this advise
DeleteYou don’t
ReplyDeleteJust move on with your life
Just forgive him poster, and free yourself from this hurt. Forgiving is not for your father, but for you. Don't let this bitterness hinder you from achieving some great, it will be your loss and not your father's.
ReplyDeleteExactly. You have said it all. Forgive for your own not your father.
DeleteKai,it's nor easy but just Try and ask God for help
ReplyDeleteForgive him and move on with your life. It not an easy thing to do but try.
ReplyDeleteIt is looking difficult even though you didn’t say much but just forgive him for your peace
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteCHICKEN STEW AND RICE
heat some olive oil in a pan and add the chicken one at a time. I like to use a wide skillet for this so I can do everything at the same time. Brown the chicken on each side for about 10 minutes. When the chicken is done, take it out and leave it in a bowl.
Blend the tomatoes, red bell pepper, habanero pepper, and the unchopped half of the onion. If possible, do this without adding water or adding just a little so the flavors are more potent. Add the chopped onions to the olive oil and sauté until translucent.
Pour in the blended tomato and pepper mix and cook for about 5 minutes.
Add the chicken thighs, chicken stock (broth), bouillon, curry, black pepper, and thyme, and bring to a boil. Taste for salt and add more if necessary. Simmer for about 20 minutes or until the chicken is done.
Boil your rice for 15 minute
Then your rice and stew is ready
@Straight guy,,are you ok? Are you high on something right now???
DeleteYou dey crase. No be only chicken stew
DeleteAfi suru.
DeleteForgiveness is Best. U release urself from bondage of continuos annoyance.. Bless u.
ReplyDeleteIs he even asking for forgiveness? Some men are so arrogant in their wickedness. I would only forgive if I saw remorse and willing to do right henceforth. If not,no forgiveness for wicked people
ReplyDeleteWhen they are this evil they don’t care about forgiveness. Then if they ask it’s fake because they want something.
DeleteNo he’s not.
DeleteHe’s acting unbothered and still communicating with my brother and asking me for money as though nothing happened even after I sent him a long message pouring out my mind but I went ahead to block him just so i dont see his reply for the sake of my sanity.
The story is long but I leave it in God’s hands.
My mother died of fibroid which later ruptured in her womb , I suspect may be as a result of the abortions she had for him.
She loved him too much and he took advantage of it.
I left this as a comment on a post(something about forgiving loved ones before they pass) but it wasn’t posted , I didn’t know it was saved for a stand alone post
Thank you madam Stella.
The best revenge is not to be like your enemy- MARKUS AURELIUS. Let go of all negative energy. All his actions against your mum are the manifestation of the extent of his understanding- his wisdom. See him from that perspective.
ReplyDeleteAnytime you find yourself thinking about this just start applying for jobs or working on a business plan
ReplyDeleteSee where redirecting all this energy will take you
This is the comment I was looking for
Delete- always divert evil energy away and use it to work on your success! Don’t let him win poster.
I have a good job but thanks all the same.
DeleteThe post from last week triggered the above chronicle which was initially meant to be a comment.
Your pain is deep and real, and only God truly understands the depth of what you carry. What your father did is beyond words, betrayal, deceit, and the destruction of trust that no child should ever endure. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to question. Even Jesus wept.
ReplyDeleteBut remember this: forgiveness does not mean approval. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. Forgiveness is a command from God, not to free the offender, but to free you.
When you forgive, you release yourself from the spiritual chain that binds your heart to pain.
Jesus said in Matthew 6:14–15:
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
It’s not easy, and God knows that. But He will give you the strength to let go if you ask Him to. Start by praying honestly: tell God everything, even your anger. Ask Him to heal your heart and help you forgive, one step at a time.
Your healing is not in revenge, but in release.
Your peace is not in answers, but in surrender.
Let go, not because your father deserves it, but because you deserve peace, and your mother would want that for you.
Remember what Romans 12:19 says:
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Let God handle the justice. You just focus on healing, peace, and walking in grace.
He will turn your pain into power, and your scars into testimony.
Lots of toxic people here abeg, I don't know what is your business in your parents relationship? If you are not careful you will repeat their mistakes,you think things just happen without underlying issues.
ReplyDeleteYou’re the toxic one here
DeleteI’m in the house as a kid and it’s not my business what my father does to my mom
DeleteAre you sure you know how life works at all
This man cheated , made her cut off from her family , made me and my brother cut off from our maternal and paternal families because he labeled them as ‘bad’ people.
DeleteI traveled with my mum to his location (he was transferred )to visit him and met another woman in the house , the same woman became my his wife years after my mum passed.
I have tried to put all these behind me and forge ahead but deeper secrets were revealed and I was broken beyond words.
I was naive but now I am older the truth has come to light.
All the skeletons he has been hiding are gradually coming out
Do not speak of what you know nothing of.
Be careful.
What about the mother that failed to chose herself will keep blaming the men but the women who accepted it too share the blame and the more I interact with women the more I understand why men treat women badly ,most women are mentally lazy,when they actually have the capacity to do more some will say you do not understand but there are also women who chose themselves too stop blaming your father but your mum who thought lowly of herself.
ReplyDeleteHear This-:
ReplyDeleteIt’s not easy but you writing this means you’ve taken the 1st step voicing how you feel.
2nd step is to pray this Simple prayer, Dear Lord Jesus I cannot forgive on my own, pls help me, heal me of pain and all my wounds and give me the grace to forgive so I can be free from the weight I carry.
3rd Step: Allow God lead you, he may even ask you to call him or send him a gift. You do not need to have a Rship with him to Forgive.
Pray also the Lord compensates you for what your father’s loss caused you. From peoples feedback here you are not alone people have gone thru worse and still stand strong. You can stand strong with a good support system.
Actually you are doing yourself a favor by forgiving him. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those stories that weighs on the heart because it speaks of the bleeding wound or open sore many never voice - the betrayal of a parent. And when that betrayal comes from a father, the supposed protector of his home, it hurts in a way nothing else can.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we wear other people's shoes without accepting that they're not our size, simply because we love them or they look good on our feet. That's how agonisingly bitterness clogs our soul.
That's why forgiveness isn’t an act of will, but a journey - slow, painful, and uncertain - between the memory of hurts you've harboured from the secret you have unravelled and the peace your pain yearns for.
It’s human to cling to that hurt. Your father’s actions shaped the suffering that followed; he built the cracks his family fell through. Still, holding on to the pain keeps you bound to his cruelty long after the damage. That’s the quiet tragedy of holding tightly onto bitterness - it punishes the wounded, not the one who caused the wound. It distorts the heart’s rhythm and blurs your sense of safety.
Forgiveness will come, but only after you have faced your truth sincerely and allowed your grief to breathe. As you know, it wouldn't come easy. You'll need to desire it to be willing to honour it. Sometimes it’s simply choosing yourself - deciding that peace matters more than the past, even if distance is part of that peace.
Healing cannot grow in the soil of denial. The real work lies in acknowledging what happened: your father failed his family, your mother endured, and you - despite it all - survived. Having a voice to talk about it is your quiet triumph. That you're still standing tall shouldn't be the end; it’s an invitation to live differently, to refuse to carry his brokenness into the home you’ll one day build.
You forgive them, their sin will always find them. I have one, he is currently down with stroke. Hmmm..
ReplyDeleteThe same way God forgives all of us.. what greater love is allowing your only son to die for others
ReplyDelete