Drama King Teejay's CORNER

Seeing an Igbo family holding traditional marriage of their daughter not in their ancestral home but city, leaves so much to be desired.
So I'll ask before proceeding, if there are people from other tribes that give out their daughter's hands in a traditional marriage ceremony outside their ancestral home(village)?



Sometimes there are these excuses ranging from distance and insecurity as the reason for some of this traditional marriage been shifted to the city. However, I'll strongly oppose to such arrangement, for it wasn't our way of life and custom as a people from time immemorial. Though haven found its way among some of our people, I'll say, such practice shouldn't be encouraged else we drift away from our age-long traditions. Why will distance and insecurity shifts traditional marriage to the city but never does the same on burial? This is the truth we're yet to tell ourselves.

In my community and tradition, one among the items in the list given to the in-law is the provision of thirty-four kegs of palmwine. This is none negotiable. It must be complete. Payment are made for it to the family to get it along side other items. There's the earthen pot that is above 50 litres belonging to the community. This is where the thirty-four kegs of palmwine are been poured into. During the traditional ceremony proper, the oldest man in the community will be given a cup of palmwine to hand over to the bride. After some spoken words from the oldest man, he hands over the cup of palmwine to the bride who's already kneeling in front of him to show everyone presence her husband. Once she receive it from him, she sip a little, rise to her feet with the left hand covering the top of the cup in search of where her husband is seated.

When she had found and served him kneeling down while he's seated, they both rise up after he had drank from the cup. Now walks to the bride parents and knelt down for marriage blessings. Afterward, the couple hit the stage dancing. The Marriage has now been confirmed. 

The palmwine from the pot are now been served to the people in attendance. In a single day, only one traditional marriage is allowed to hold. Dates are fixed earlier for proper arrangement and to avoid clashes. 

It will be announced in the community and documented in the official register.

Now let's go back to families that have their traditional marriage ceremony in the city. After the city ceremony, the bride father must provide the required kegs of palmwine back home to his kinsmen and villagers to pertake in the drink. A man doesn't drink alone on his daughter's head.

 Failure to do so, comes with its sanction on the family and the marriage won't be recognised at the village level. No one stops a family from conducting traditional marriage in their choice location even though it isn't ideal, the traditional rites and custom back home should never be neglected.

Secondly, this is an interesting fact. Bride price aren't paid in the city. If the occasion was held at the city, a later date will be fixed when the son in-law and his people will visit the wife ancestral home to settle the bride price. This is never done at the city. I stand to be corrected if this tradition has been changed.

Finally, in a situation where the lady is heavy(pregnant) at the time of the marriage, the family doesn't receive the payment of bride price. The ceremony can go on and on a later date after she had put to birth, the in-law can now proceed on the bride price payment which is usually not more than N100 naira. The father won't fail to let his son in-law know he's not trading his daughter and should incase for whatsoever reason he no longer wants the marriage, he should bring her back alive the very way he received her from him.

In summary, the sanctity of our traditional marriage shouldn't be desecrated. It precede and supersede the white wedding anytime, any day.