TIRED OF THREE MONTH OLD MARRIAGE
Stella .
I'm a single mother of two.
I started dating this guy who's also a single father of two, he loved my kids so much to the extent they are took him as a father.
Along the line he started disturbing me about marriage i told my mom about it she encouraged me to accept the marriage proposal since he accepted my kids and supports me.
I told my siblings they all also gave their support, we got married three months ago traditional.
One month later, i got pregnant and this man changed automatically.. he is always nagging and complaining and sometimes he wakes up and goes to his business without letting me know, sometimes i will be crying before pregnancy is dealing with me so much that i can't even go to my business anymore...
I told my siblings they all also gave their support, we got married three months ago traditional.
One month later, i got pregnant and this man changed automatically.. he is always nagging and complaining and sometimes he wakes up and goes to his business without letting me know, sometimes i will be crying before pregnancy is dealing with me so much that i can't even go to my business anymore...
I can't even eat anything for now and he will be expecting me to worship him first
A pregnant woman that needs care
Mind you when we were dating i told him how pregnancy used to deal with me and he said no problem that he will take care of me that if i become pregnant he will pamper me so much.
I'm just tired of this marriage already and i am thinking of terminating this pregnancy and moving on with my life..
I don't care about what the society will say, the way i am seeing this marriage i don't think it will work and i don't want to bring more kids to the world as a single mother.
A pregnant woman that needs care
Mind you when we were dating i told him how pregnancy used to deal with me and he said no problem that he will take care of me that if i become pregnant he will pamper me so much.
I'm just tired of this marriage already and i am thinking of terminating this pregnancy and moving on with my life..
I don't care about what the society will say, the way i am seeing this marriage i don't think it will work and i don't want to bring more kids to the world as a single mother.
My kids are with my mom and his are with his ex.
Hmmmmmmmm You are the one wearing the shoes and know where it bites the most....You sound like there is no problem at all so please take it easy...it takes time to get used to each other and to adapt to living with someone else..
Please have a talk with him and give him time to change...
As for not waking you up before he goes to work....Is he supposed to wake you up?Someone is letting you rest and you are complaining?
Even till now my hubby does not wake me up when he has to leave for work unless i tell hi a day before to wake me up so i can make him breakfast..he makes his food and leaves...... Give him time!
You wanna unalife the baby? NOWAY;DONT DO IT!!!
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI can't rely give any words than to say " God will make things easy for you" cuz haven't been there before.
Have a talk with him. May be he doesn't want another kid which you didn't notice or asked.
DeletePOSTER, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM HERE.
DeleteFROM YOUR NARRATIVE, THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE EXPECTATION YOU HAD ABOUT HIM PAMPERING YOU WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT, YOU ARE NOT GETTING IT LIKE YOU EXPECTED..
YOU KNOW TRULY THAT THE PAMPERING IS THE ONLY ISSUE.
SO DO YOUR WORSE AND BE READY TO FACE GOD'S JUDGEMENT FOR COMMITTING MURDER (ABORTION)
.WHY NOT EMPLOY NANNY TO PAMPER YOU LIKE A CHILD OR TURN TO A PET TO BE PAMPERED LIKE ONE.
Abeg terminate this pregnancy and watch the marriage for some time to make your decision. Don’t rush to start having kids. I’m also a single mum. I was pregnant a few months before I left the abusive marriage, I’m glad I terminated that pregnancy because I saw the signs. The two kids I have is ok. Imagine what having a baby would have done to me after the marriage broke
DeleteSo sorry for what youre going through. You both already have children, so it might have been wiser to wait before getting pregnant. Terminating the pregnancy out of frustration may lead to regret later
ReplyDeleteperfect response. what was the rush?
DeleteFirst question dear. Was the pregnancy planned?. Cos why suddenly change attitude since u became pregnant
ReplyDeleteYou don't know Nigerian men that is why you are asking this kind of questions 🙄 bcos if you do, you will understand that the moment some nijia men marry you and get you pregnant,they start cheating immediately. They forget all the empty promises they gave. Poster should not have gotten pregnant sha since you both already have 4 children in total. But again, you will be fine. Maybe go stay with your mum so you get adequate care or let your family call him to order. Bcos when he was promising heaven and earth, you carried your family along. Now that the story is changing, allow your family come in and intervene now that it is still early.
DeletePoster, this your chronicle has just put fear in me. I think I wont do live in couple o. I have come to realized that couples that live apart tends to be more happier and in love.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you since you are already married to him is to just enjoy the benefits you are getting from the marriage like him paying the house rent and providing feeding and support to you. In the area of no care from him, abeg try manage yourself
poster, dont take this advice. people wanting you to be in similar situations like them. you didnt read him well before getting married. if it doesnt favour you, nne, just move. You and the kids have been coping without him and you will. think it through
DeleteU nailed it anon 15:44
Deletei disagree with what you said about live apart couple tends to be more happier and in love than live in couple. I think it all depends on what you want, who you are married to and the work both parties put in to make sure their home is beautiful, happy. I prefer live in couple to live apart, i cannot imagine to stay without my spouse for over a day, weeks, months or years. I will go for live in couple over and over again while another person will go for live apart couple. Let us all go for what work for us, do not judge your own based on another person's narration, no marriage is the same. All marriages requires love, commitment, hard work, prayer, patience, attention, intentional attitude, friendship which is the most powerful tool here.
DeleteExcited Courtesy you are on point..
DeletePls do not make major decisions while you are emotionally overwhelmed. Focus first on your health and seek medical help.
ReplyDeleteHave a calm, conversation with your husband about the support you need. His response will help you assess the situation.If necessary, involve a trusted family members but don't terminate that pregnancy.
Wishing you all the best.
May God make thing easy for you and intervene in you new marriage, you should have waited for a year or two before getting pregnant by then you both would have agreed to having a child. Maybe he his struggling financially with the two kids and having another without proper planning made him angry with you but he is not voicing it out rather taken his anger on you by his action. Have a one on one discussion with him before taking that drastic step of abortion. And pray for peace in your marriage
ReplyDeleteThis is really sad. Please you need to take care of yourself and keep your emotions steady cos of the baby and your safety as a pregnant mother.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried praying about this? What if it's spiritual? What if there's an attack on your home?
Or could it be you really didn't study him enough?
Can't rule out the fact that some men are deceptive though.
Meanwhile, the innocent child has a right to live. Just like you too Nd your other kids.
Don't terminate that life and destiny. That will be sheer wi.kednes.s worst than that treatment you are getting.
Cos while you are wallowing in your pain and all, you are so selfish not to consider that a life is in you, who was given an opportunity to come to this world and make their name and mark through you, but you are so selfish that you want to end that life before it began.
That's a cr.uel thing to do to an innocent and pure soul.
Please leave that child alone make God no vex for you ooo.
Meanwhile,did you both discuss how many more children to have and when to start having them?
ReplyDeleteCos feeding and providing for 4 kids is alot already.
Not to mention house rent , school fees etc.
Meanwhile, whatever you do, don't touch that baby
Poster sorry for what you’re going through, Some pregnancies can make us at strange and nag the hell. Your husband doesn’t really understand and most men don’t like na only you know what you’re going through na he doesn’t wear the shoe with you so he thinks you’re just being a nag and trying to punish him.
ReplyDeleteI assure you everything will be fine once you start getting yourself back. Please just take good care of yourself and take enough rest, everything will be fine.
Marriage is not perfect.Endure .Maybe the pregnancy making you react .
ReplyDeleteI think that maybe, he was not expecting you to get pregnant so soon. He just wants your company for sometime before pregnancy. Make effort to talk to him, maybe he will start reasoning with you. I wish you to be happy no matter how the pregnancy is treating you. It's going to be fine
ReplyDeleteSo because of marriage you left your kids with your mum whilst you're still alive wonderful
ReplyDeleteDat na the only thing I see.
DeleteIn all you do, don't kill that baby. He nor send una go do ibongi. Besides he might just be a president of the United States. So many people have killed the deliverer God sent to their families. Don't add to that statistics.
ReplyDeleteAbeg go with what gives you peace of mind if he is giving you attitude .
ReplyDeleteMany men change after a woman gets pregnant. It is not always negative, preparing for a new life is stressful for both parties in different ways. Let us get in the habit of planning things. How hard is it to sit and talk about family and life planning and setting things up so nothing catches you off guard. Maybe he wanted to enjoy life with you for a bit before adding a new one who will now get all the attention.
ReplyDeletei was told that the first 3 to 6 months of marriage is the toughest time for couples, if not handled properly they will end up apart. You did not prepare for this phase of marriage, you should not handle this stage of your marriage with anger, or see your husband less. Happy your both kids are not with you guys so that the bod and friendship can be built before more children start coming.
ReplyDeleteYou are dealing with pregnancy hormones, your husband is dealing with the fact that he is staying together with an opposite sex who is pregnant just few months of getting married. He may be expecting to enjoy the marriage a little more before you take in but since the baby is already on the way to come, please do not take it, please take it easy and please trade with caution.
Be careful of the words you say to that man at this moment, be careful of the people you are talking to, be careful of what your hear r learn. Stop expecting too much from your husband, you are expecting him to pamper you when you too have not make any effort to speak with him. You both are acting in anger, no one is saying something about the whole situation. Tell your husband how to love, care, pamper and make your love tank full else you will feel he is not doing anything for you. You should ask him how you can make his love tank full so that you both will enjoy yourself. You should start building friendship at the moment, stop fight, stop looking for issues where there is non.
No need for your husband to wake you up before going to work if you already know he is doing something like having a business. You that is sleeping and need rest is asking the poor man to wake you up, he may be feeling pity for you and decided to go out without waking you up. Please talk to him, communicate to your husband like your friend, your padi and tell him how the whole pregnancy process it, how you are feeling, how he can assist you to make you feel better. This may be his first time of experiencing such, is possible the mother to his kids had a stress free pregnancy. Don't go shouting, don't go talking anyhow as if you are talking to your child about issues you should sit down in a good mood and speak to him like your baby. if possible make a good meal just to get his attention.
Is to soon to write off a marriage that you both started happy, you both made up your mind not like someone forced you into the marriage. Remember to take good care of yourself, eat well, do not allow anything stress you, your husband will calm down if only you calm down and talk with him like a friend.
Remembering few days chronicle.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to her was fling and go . Sometimes your freedom is not worth exchanging anything with it. 2 kids already, so what else were you looking for (pregnancy related )???
Lovey dovey has ended,Now he's showing you his true colour . SMH !
This is his real character. He will not change.
ReplyDeleteYou know what to do. No need to tell you.
If na me, it's an abortion and divorce for me.
I've said it before. If you you've been married before and you want to get married again, date very well, for at least 3 years before you enter again. I really feel bad for you. Whatever you want to do with the baby, I'll totally support you because it's not easy to take care of children alone
ReplyDelete