I keep saying it that, it's not a crime if a wife is richer than the husband. It's a plus for such husband only if he can skill up himself and not rely on his wife's money/wealth. But you as a man not working so hard to make positive change in your life is the issue.
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We all know and understand that, a man who feeds his family can encounter problem and not been able to feed his family again but that's not the end of life. He will bounce back and if things change for better, you as woman will receive whatever you do to him in double portion when he was down.
A man in Ibadan had an issue and was unable to meet up with family needs.(Note: the wife works in one of the banks and collecting good pay). When the issue started, I advised him to skill up. Since he graduated from Laspotech(IkD).
I told him to go for his certificate and start up with a driving job which he did.
After a year, he stopped the driving work and used what he was able to save to learn a skill(all these while, he was still trying to feed his family, pay his children school fees by getting loan on Ocash and paying small small). But the wife kept using her own money to proceed with her Master's program at one private university here in ibadan and also enjoying herself with her own family.
The woman tormented the man and never respected him because he couldn't meet up again.
Now, table don turn, the wife couldn't continue with her program. I was wondering why I didn't see her pass by(cuz she dey always pass through my house when going to work). I later got to know that, she was sacked at the bank and was nearly jailed. Husband wey she think say nothing dey for the man again don come up.
Now, table don turn, the wife couldn't continue with her program. I was wondering why I didn't see her pass by(cuz she dey always pass through my house when going to work). I later got to know that, she was sacked at the bank and was nearly jailed. Husband wey she think say nothing dey for the man again don come up.
Things have changed so well for him. Baba now works in Lagos and has refused to return to Ibadan due to what his wife did to him for almost 4years when he had nothing.
The only thing he does now is, pay the children's school fees to the school account directly and send someone to drop food stuff but has refused to pay house rent.(He said the wife should continue with that because he is not coming back to that house due to the humiliation).
This is somebody I know very well and I'm planning to put a call through to speak to him by weekend because of the children. They need his presence so bad. When we meet in church, I always put a call through just for them to speak to him. The wife don dey see me as bad person but wetin concern me. She doesn't know I'm trying to help her speak the husband.
This is somebody I know very well and I'm planning to put a call through to speak to him by weekend because of the children. They need his presence so bad. When we meet in church, I always put a call through just for them to speak to him. The wife don dey see me as bad person but wetin concern me. She doesn't know I'm trying to help her speak the husband.
This woman isn't herself again, life don dey tire her. When you see her, you will know she isn't happy any longer.(Where is her family now?, where are the friends she was buying clothes and going to different functions with now? All gone).
Think before you misbehave
Think before you misbehave
Hmm, life
ReplyDeleteThe woman is bad news but he shouldn't be absent in the lives of his kids because of the evil deeds of their mother.
ReplyDeleteIf the kids are in secondary school, the man should take them alone with him. Let the woman go and rent one room apartment or face me I slap you.
ReplyDeleteThis life is unpredictable.
Be good at all times because you don't know when the table will turn either for good or evil.
Talk to him for the sake of his children but the woman no try
ReplyDeleteHe still should contribute to the children’s housing, they have to live somewhere. When children are involved you have to think differently no matter the anger and past wrongs. Same way things turned around for him it’s the same way it can go down for him again. Always do good even if it is painful because we cannot take God for granted, He is no respecter of persons.
ReplyDeletePinky, you always advise ppl so well, there is real wisdom in you and it seems your advice always turn out right for those who listen. Your children will surely reap the benefits of having a wise father. Having a wise father is even better than having a rich one.
If the man won’t pay rent where would his kids live?
ReplyDeleteLife na turn by turn
ReplyDeleteSo be humble
Hello Pinky,
ReplyDeleteYour friend has chosen to lead from a place of deep hurt, using his newfound stability as a tool for quiet retaliation. While his wife’s past contempt was a failing of her character, his current withdrawal is a failing of his responsibility. By providing food but refusing shelter, he is not just punishing her; but making his children’s lives unstable to satisfy a personal grudge.
Growing up, I have always observed a particular quietude in men - a steady, understated way they shoulder the weight of a family that feels unmatched. There is a silent dignity in how they carry those burdens without needing to announce the strain. Or overflog it.
But he should realise that his absence is creating a different kind of trauma in the lives of those children. True strength is not found in walking away once you have the upper hand, but in resolving the situation with the same dignity you sought when you were down.
He must return, not to the marriage, but to his children. And if trust is forever broken, he must still secure their home. The onus is on him to prioritise his role as a father not retaliation. He should set firm boundaries, discuss a formal separation clearly, and build a consistent, active presence in his children's lives.
Accountability requires more than monetary appeasement. It involves being present adequately.
Otherwise, the children will carry the cost of his pain without experiencing the way it hurt him. Two wrongs must not be allowed to sit in the same house, even at different times.