Nigerian singer Spyro has recounted a childhood marked by severe physical abuse, public accusations, and emotional pain from his father during
One traumatic incident at school, followed by his father’s refusal to believe him and a subsequent beating, deeply affected him.
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In his words:" My dad would beat you to kill you. This was twenty-something years ago and I still have the marks on my back. And when you try to bring up the conversation now, he just acts like it's nothing.
The anger is a lot to unpack and I can't even express it. I can't say that I've healed or come to terms with all of it, but I just have to heal myself. Because to sort it out, we have to talk about it, but my dad would go and tell outsiders that I am a thief. Even his elder brother had to ask him what I did to him.
He was a pastor; once money went missing from the church, he would point fingers at me publicly. And when he eventually finds what he's looking for, he buys you milk. What is milk supposed to do for the damage that has been done?
There is this particular event that makes me tearful whenever I talk about it. There was this woman in my primary school; she was a cleaner. She was peeling my skin, but because I was a child, I couldn't do anything. And the way I was brought up, when an adult is doing anything to you, you don't react.
I went back home with the injury, and when my dad saw it, I told him what happened, but he said it was a lie. When we got to school the next day, I started pulling back because I was afraid of this person since she was an elderly person.
My dad said I started pulling back because I knew I lied, and the woman also denied it.I got home and my dad flogged me to stupor, and that broke me and almost turned me into something else.
If not for the love from my mum and how she was always able to balance things out, things would have been worse. In fact, it affected me because I thought, since he believed I was a terrible child, let me just be terrible."
- interview with journalist Rufai Oseni.
The anger is a lot to unpack and I can't even express it. I can't say that I've healed or come to terms with all of it, but I just have to heal myself. Because to sort it out, we have to talk about it, but my dad would go and tell outsiders that I am a thief. Even his elder brother had to ask him what I did to him.
He was a pastor; once money went missing from the church, he would point fingers at me publicly. And when he eventually finds what he's looking for, he buys you milk. What is milk supposed to do for the damage that has been done?
There is this particular event that makes me tearful whenever I talk about it. There was this woman in my primary school; she was a cleaner. She was peeling my skin, but because I was a child, I couldn't do anything. And the way I was brought up, when an adult is doing anything to you, you don't react.
I went back home with the injury, and when my dad saw it, I told him what happened, but he said it was a lie. When we got to school the next day, I started pulling back because I was afraid of this person since she was an elderly person.
My dad said I started pulling back because I knew I lied, and the woman also denied it.I got home and my dad flogged me to stupor, and that broke me and almost turned me into something else.
If not for the love from my mum and how she was always able to balance things out, things would have been worse. In fact, it affected me because I thought, since he believed I was a terrible child, let me just be terrible."
- interview with journalist Rufai Oseni.
A lot of parents need to swallow their prides and ask their children for forgiveness, have that honest and sincerely conversation with them.
ReplyDeleteThey will flog their kids without empathy for outsiders who don't even care! They'd rather believe an outsider over their children. Very annoying behaviour. Old age go reach finish, them go dey expect automatic bonding and forgiveness. Mtchewwww
I agree 💯
DeleteThis is so painful and heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteWhy believe an outsider over your child?
His dad may have undiagnosed mental health issues. I'm really sorry Spyro had to go through this. He needs to go for therapy, that's if he hasn't started that already.
ReplyDeleteU are crazy na u diagnose the evil man ? See ur smelling mouth like mental issues! A father is perpetrating evil on his child and u are typing nonsense just get out
DeleteYup, often hidden in the guise of religion.
DeleteThis honestly broke my heart. Imagine carrying all of this from childhood and still not even getting an acknowledgement of the pain caused.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people don’t realise what constantly labelling a child as bad, a liar or a problem can do to them. After a while, that child starts believing it too.
And that part about the milk after wrongly accusing him… chai. Some things cannot just be brushed aside like nothing happened.
I really hope he finds healing, because this is a lot for one person to carry.
And on here a few days ago, one deranged comment about breaking a lady's teeth caught my attention if Nigerian men are not the most violent. I wonder who takes the crown?? South Africans? Any small thing violence.tueeeeh! Like deranged apes!
I hope he never forgives him. Wicked man.
ReplyDeleteSee what people are going through..alot are carrying heavy burdens... God help us
ReplyDeleteToo painful to read. So sorry you went through all of that
ReplyDelete