Nigerian singer Spyro has recounted a childhood marked by severe physical abuse, public accusations, and emotional pain from his father during
One traumatic incident at school, followed by his father’s refusal to believe him and a subsequent beating, deeply affected him.
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In his words:" My dad would beat you to kill you. This was twenty-something years ago and I still have the marks on my back. And when you try to bring up the conversation now, he just acts like it's nothing.
The anger is a lot to unpack and I can't even express it. I can't say that I've healed or come to terms with all of it, but I just have to heal myself. Because to sort it out, we have to talk about it, but my dad would go and tell outsiders that I am a thief. Even his elder brother had to ask him what I did to him.
He was a pastor; once money went missing from the church, he would point fingers at me publicly. And when he eventually finds what he's looking for, he buys you milk. What is milk supposed to do for the damage that has been done?
There is this particular event that makes me tearful whenever I talk about it. There was this woman in my primary school; she was a cleaner. She was peeling my skin, but because I was a child, I couldn't do anything. And the way I was brought up, when an adult is doing anything to you, you don't react.
I went back home with the injury, and when my dad saw it, I told him what happened, but he said it was a lie. When we got to school the next day, I started pulling back because I was afraid of this person since she was an elderly person.
My dad said I started pulling back because I knew I lied, and the woman also denied it.I got home and my dad flogged me to stupor, and that broke me and almost turned me into something else.
If not for the love from my mum and how she was always able to balance things out, things would have been worse. In fact, it affected me because I thought, since he believed I was a terrible child, let me just be terrible."
- interview with journalist Rufai Oseni.
The anger is a lot to unpack and I can't even express it. I can't say that I've healed or come to terms with all of it, but I just have to heal myself. Because to sort it out, we have to talk about it, but my dad would go and tell outsiders that I am a thief. Even his elder brother had to ask him what I did to him.
He was a pastor; once money went missing from the church, he would point fingers at me publicly. And when he eventually finds what he's looking for, he buys you milk. What is milk supposed to do for the damage that has been done?
There is this particular event that makes me tearful whenever I talk about it. There was this woman in my primary school; she was a cleaner. She was peeling my skin, but because I was a child, I couldn't do anything. And the way I was brought up, when an adult is doing anything to you, you don't react.
I went back home with the injury, and when my dad saw it, I told him what happened, but he said it was a lie. When we got to school the next day, I started pulling back because I was afraid of this person since she was an elderly person.
My dad said I started pulling back because I knew I lied, and the woman also denied it.I got home and my dad flogged me to stupor, and that broke me and almost turned me into something else.
If not for the love from my mum and how she was always able to balance things out, things would have been worse. In fact, it affected me because I thought, since he believed I was a terrible child, let me just be terrible."
- interview with journalist Rufai Oseni.
A lot of parents need to swallow their prides and ask their children for forgiveness, have that honest and sincerely conversation with them.
ReplyDeleteThey will flog their kids without empathy for outsiders who don't even care! They'd rather believe an outsider over their children. Very annoying behaviour. Old age go reach finish, them go dey expect automatic bonding and forgiveness. Mtchewwww
I agree 💯
DeleteI totally agree with you
DeleteI actually came to type your second paragraph. My dad would beat us for outsiders, when they come to lie against us. His words "so you want to tell me they are lying". Why cant you believe us too. He had to pause when a neighbour came to threaten him that if anything happened to us, she would by herself hand him to the police.
DeleteThank you my sister. I can't beat my child because of any outsider...I apologize and also tell my kids to apologize if they were wrong. Growing up, I hated it when my parents will cane me if I fought back an injustice done to me.
DeleteThis is so painful and heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteWhy believe an outsider over your child?
His dad may have undiagnosed mental health issues. I'm really sorry Spyro had to go through this. He needs to go for therapy, that's if he hasn't started that already.
ReplyDeleteU are crazy na u diagnose the evil man ? See ur smelling mouth like mental issues! A father is perpetrating evil on his child and u are typing nonsense just get out
DeleteYup, often hidden in the guise of religion.
DeleteI don't want to agree that when a wicked and inconsiderate person show who they are, then the next thing is associating it with mental illness. Naaa.
DeleteNonsense and ingredients, they will always be associating wickedness with mental issues, and refuse to call a spade a spade.
DeleteI don't accept this mental health issues claim anytime a wicked person shows himself or herself.
DeleteThere are wicked people and there are people with mental health issues.
His father was a wicked man, a wicked pastor
@8.55 you clearly have mental problems if you can not rationalise things and express yourself properly. You're dealing with serious trauma. Go and work on yourself before you implode. I hope you know you can disagree without insults. Learn to be civil.
Delete@9.37 and Cynthia, you are both entitled to your opinions. That's why it's a comment section where people can express theirs. Please understand that professionals also visit this blog.
DeleteGrateful soul, work on yourself. There's a better way to disagree than churning insults.
This honestly broke my heart. Imagine carrying all of this from childhood and still not even getting an acknowledgement of the pain caused.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people don’t realise what constantly labelling a child as bad, a liar or a problem can do to them. After a while, that child starts believing it too.
And that part about the milk after wrongly accusing him… chai. Some things cannot just be brushed aside like nothing happened.
I really hope he finds healing, because this is a lot for one person to carry.
And on here a few days ago, one deranged comment about breaking a lady's teeth caught my attention if Nigerian men are not the most violent. I wonder who takes the crown?? South Africans? Any small thing violence.tueeeeh! Like deranged apes!
I saw that teeth comment too and I was wondering why he cannot break up with her since she is a liar instead of breaking her teeth.
DeleteLet him try it in a lawful country and see what happens.
I hope he never forgives him. Wicked man.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, his dad was wicked & didn't behave like a father. But he needs to forgive him because of himself (Spyro) So he can heal of past hurt. I hope he heals 🤗
DeleteSee what people are going through..alot are carrying heavy burdens... God help us
ReplyDeleteToo painful to read. So sorry you went through all of that
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you, Spyro
ReplyDeleteSo many wicked people are roaming around and using religion to cover up.
ReplyDeleteI used to read comments from one old Bv called Prophet's wife and I used to shudder. I hope she is fine wherever she is.
Spyro, pls go for therapy.
As for your dad, their foolish Nigerian men ego will not allow him to admit he was wrong and apologize. I wish you can just move on from him and heal.
His dad might have a mental case issue.
ReplyDeleteSome parents too dey do..
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you 🤗
Some parents too dey do..
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you 🤗
OMG! This is so heartbreaking
ReplyDeleteI listened to the owner of Brekete Family Reality Station, (Ahmed Isah) and he narrated something like this about his mum and the way she beat him while he was growing up. According to him, if not for the way his mum handled him, maybe he wound have turned out bad. Most of the severe punishment melted by parents on their children were done out of fear of the unknown and with positive intentions. No one wants his or her child to grown and become a disgrace. We are brought up differently. Most parents do this flogging and deep punishment to show they are in control of their child. My father is in this WhatsApp group and honestly, I hold no iota of grudges against him. Our former neighbor will use razor and give her child a mark at the back of her ear each time she lies so it's either you tell the truth or collect a mark
ReplyDeleteMay God Almighty continue to help parents as parenting does not have any manual.
Waow! you’ve belittled another persons pain, that you hold no grudges against yours does not mean others have healed from theirs. If an adult is still traumatized by their parents actions so many years later we should be talking about apologies so healing can begin to take place but when we excuse evil in the name of child raising then we’ve failed as a people.
DeleteMarks with razor...is that not cruelty? 🥺
DeleteFear of the unknown and you beat your child like an animal? Chai ndo ooo
DeleteAnon 13:04. God forbid I belittle his pain. He has every right to be mad at his dad. I only narrated my experience and that of Isah to show that most parents are on that WhatsApp group wish other parents will read this and learn that what they see as training a child is actually cursing untold pain in the child as they grow older.
DeleteRazor? That's like Putting the child under duress.. speaking out of fear
DeleteWicked igbo woman don type.
DeleteNo surprises here.
Na God go punish all of una wey dey do barbarism to your children in the bame of discipline.
Hmmm..this is so sad.
ReplyDeleteIf only the father would swallow his pride and ego and apologize to him but knowing our typical African fathers, he will never do that.
Spyro it is well with you and I pray you treat your children right to break the circle.
Chai! End time father.
ReplyDeleteWhen you constantly inflict pain on someone and still act like you don't care is an act of wickedness.Those set of humans don't have conscience and empathy,and they derive joy seeing you in pain.
In your father's case he did it to impress outsiders not knowing the aftermath trauma and the damage.
I know that type,they do it only to impress outsiders so they will feel like ' king-kom'.
ln their tiny minds,they think the right way to boost their ego is to belittle someone or falsely accuse you for nothing.
I don't blame someone that mentioned mental illness as the cause,some acts will leave you speechless.
So sorry about your childhood ordeal Spyro, may God heal you...and help you to forgive 🤗
ReplyDelete