STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
REAL ADVICE NEEDED
Please, I genuinely need advice because I don’t know what to do anymore. My stepmother has been pressuring me to marry a much older man who is already married. At first, I thought she was joking, so I laughed it off, but she has brought it up several times and she seems very serious about it.
She keeps telling me that the man is financially comfortable, that I won’t suffer if I marry him, and that I should think about my future instead of being too emotional. But honestly, something inside me does not feel right about it.
He is far older than anyone I ever imagined myself marrying, and the fact that he already has a wife makes everything even more complicated.
I haven’t told my late mother’s family or my father’s family because I’m scared of being judged, but I genuinely need someone to tell me what they would do if they were in my shoes.
Would you agree because of the financial security, or would you choose to walk away and build your own life, even if it means struggling because that is my reality right now.......
So you cannot make up your mind on this and you are struggling? Men use women so what is this? Yes i will marry for financial security and also because it removes me from the street...Nothing dey outside...He has another wife and wont trouble you much...
Why do you need your father or mums people? You cant say YES OR NO on your own? You like suffer? You dont feel right about it cos you are looking for love and if its one young poor man you would have agreed and suffered with him?
Well, if its me oh, i will survey everything, do my homework and walk in without emotions.
And you goody two shoes adviser should not bother about insulting me cos i wont enable it...face the topic at hand and disagree with mine if you like but insults at me or anyone wont be approved...
Please, I genuinely need advice because I don’t know what to do anymore. My stepmother has been pressuring me to marry a much older man who is already married. At first, I thought she was joking, so I laughed it off, but she has brought it up several times and she seems very serious about it.
She keeps telling me that the man is financially comfortable, that I won’t suffer if I marry him, and that I should think about my future instead of being too emotional. But honestly, something inside me does not feel right about it.
He is far older than anyone I ever imagined myself marrying, and the fact that he already has a wife makes everything even more complicated.
I haven’t told my late mother’s family or my father’s family because I’m scared of being judged, but I genuinely need someone to tell me what they would do if they were in my shoes.
Would you agree because of the financial security, or would you choose to walk away and build your own life, even if it means struggling because that is my reality right now.......
So you cannot make up your mind on this and you are struggling? Men use women so what is this? Yes i will marry for financial security and also because it removes me from the street...Nothing dey outside...He has another wife and wont trouble you much...
Why do you need your father or mums people? You cant say YES OR NO on your own? You like suffer? You dont feel right about it cos you are looking for love and if its one young poor man you would have agreed and suffered with him?
Well, if its me oh, i will survey everything, do my homework and walk in without emotions.
And you goody two shoes adviser should not bother about insulting me cos i wont enable it...face the topic at hand and disagree with mine if you like but insults at me or anyone wont be approved...
Poster how old are you? Bcos unless you are below 18, I see no reason why you'd give someone else the power to make important life decisions for you.
ReplyDeleteFor you to ask what you should do means you have no ambitions, no goals, nothing planned for your future and all there is to you is to be a second wife to an older man. It is a pity to see young women who have no ambitions whatsoever. We know things are hard, but do you really want to subject yourself to this kind of life? The lies that the man won't disturb you is a fallacy as we know the first wife will give you and your children HELL and this is for LIFE. You will be comfortable money wise but what about peace of mind? What a pity! And what with if it's a young man who is broke, why must the man she will marry be broke? Who knows their future not to talk of someone else future? GIRL DO NOT MARRY HIM OUT OF DESPERATION!
DeleteYou need someone to tell you what to do. So if they tell you to go ahead, you will listen to them. Then your step mother is right in pushing you to do this, cos you clearly do not have a mind of your own.
ReplyDeleteDon’t marry him oh….
ReplyDeleteSweetie,
ReplyDeleteYour reservations, or should I say your concerns, are valid. This is my advice to you, just as I would give to my sister if she were in your position.
First, why is your stepmom so desperate for this man to marry you? Is there any benefit she is getting from him? Secondly, you didn't state his age or give a hint of how old he is. Do you by chance know his wife and how they live? You need to be certain that she is aware he is taking a second wife, to avoid rivalry between wives that will eventually extend to the children. These are things you need to know and understand first. I wish you had also included your age, it would have helped me a lot in advising you.
Now, on the aspect of financial security, this is what I will tell you. I would never advise any woman to marry a man because of his financial status. You will just be like a liability to him, and he will treat you as one of his assets. You saw Prince Ned and Regina, right? The only saving grace Regina had was that she was already famous and popular before going into that marriage, otherwise she would have lost it all after the separation. This is one of the reasons why we often preach about women being valuable, or ask what value a woman brings to the table. It is for moments like this. If you were gainfully employed or financially successful, your stepmom wouldn't be making a choice for you. You, on the other hand, would have the luxury of picking the kind of man you want for yourself. So next time you hear us talk about a woman being valuable or what a woman should offer, understand that it is for your own good in the long run.
Finally, take this seriously. I have no issue with a lady marrying an older man, or a man marrying an older woman, but let it be from your own decision and personal conviction, and not because you want to escape poverty or please anyone. Let me tell you something, being single is not the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone, but being married to the wrong partner is. The devastation and emotional trauma when it goes south is better imagined than experienced.
Have a moment of quietness and reflect on all of this and ask yourself, Is this what I really want?
©️ TEEJAY
Poster how old are you?
ReplyDeleteDon’t
ReplyDelete