Everybody wants mercy and understanding. We want people to consider the circumstances surrounding our decisions. But when the tables turn, suddenly, we become judges, jury and executioners.
Think about it.
A woman with a history of questionable relationships gets married and suddenly becomes an authority on how other women should live. The same woman who once dated married men or had one-night stands now shames another woman for her choices. A man who was once unfaithful becomes the loudest voice condemning another man's infidelity.
Did your marriage certificate erase your past? Did your improved circumstances make you morally superior?
There is a difference between recognising that something is wrong and behaving as though you have never done anything wrong yourself.
This is not about excusing bad behaviour. We can hold people accountable while still treating them with dignity. Accountability does not require humiliation. None of us knows what tomorrow may ask of us.
I am not claiming to be innocent. I have simply chosen to live a modest life, considerably better than some of the chapters behind me. I know what it means to have had my bad days, and I know what it means to make different choices. So, if I have once walked a particular road, I will be very careful about standing at the roadside, pointing fingers at someone else walking that same road.
I would rather encourage them than condemn them.
Perhaps we should remember that the things we condemn today are not necessarily things we have never done. Sometimes, the only difference between us and the person we are criticising is that our own story is no longer under public scrutiny.
Before you shame someone for their past, remember yours. Before you condemn someone for their present, remember that life has a way of changing circumstances. And before you deny someone the understanding you so desperately hope to receive when you make a mistake, ask yourself one simple question:
If the spotlight were on me, would I want the same treatment?
Everybody wants mercy. Perhaps it is time we learnt to give some, too.
IT'S RON
xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI believe as we grow older, we are blessed with more wisdom and should thread carefully.
Some situations require harsh judgment.
We are in an era where "we listen and don't judge" just look at the rot in our society.
We sin differently, okay.
I steal a pack of food and i am shamed for it. Someone else steals a baby and just cos i once stole a pack of food, i am not allowed to condemn the baby thief? If I see hammer sef, i go hammer the person.
Ron,
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman. Keep soaring higher. We are not defined by our past, and neither do our mistakes in life define who we become.
©️ TEEJAY