Hi Stella,
Please do you have any contact for marriage counselling in Nigeria?
I know a lady that is going through Domestic Violence and she believes she needs
counselling. Every effort to move her out of the relationship has failed.
Thanks and God bless you.
*Hmm cases like this make me weak...why would anyone stay and endure being beaten?
why would anyone love themselves less and love an abusive spouse more?
please post any contact of marriage counsellor you have here.
If she dies where she is nah she sabi!
Die there na
ReplyDeleteWho cares????
Sick!
DeleteI am a counselor but I don't take cases like this. Hopefully the man does not kill her for her children. Hmm those kids are so gonna be unstable.
DeleteI'm first to comment again? Yipeeeeeeeee
DeleteI must give my husband a blow job tonite
I'm fucking exited
I love u bitches
*dancing naked*
Boring. ...@ Lepa shandy !
DeleteLepa shandy iwu ewu gboko. Don't be so crass. Who cares if u are sucking your ugly husband 10 naira carrot looking dick. Filthy ghetto bitch. And don't you bring that tired line about sango or amadioha.
Delete@Pealie,pls take get off my back with that your sagging breast
Delete@Clay Eze Musa, disconnected asshole like you.
Pussy boy,who released your from that cage?
Go back to where u come from or just GO AND DIE
Lepa,you pass 'first to comment' naw.You too much for that.I, and others who attack you, read and laugh over your harmless yabbis. Misunderstood rebels nor dey rank xerox o.
DeleteTo the meaty matter now: let her go seek counselling.Every abused person must go through the denial stage.She needs to learn the hard way to call its quits and mean it.its not easy for everyone to walk out of a marriage like its a tea party.mind you,some people always feel they ve the requisite skill to change a 'Domestic boxing champion'.Love doesn't conquer madness.Hope her ghost won't be the one to write an open letter from a cold grave!
Deletehmmmm
ReplyDeleteI must ''marry''
I must remain ''Mrs'' for life
Toorrr...siddn dere make dem use Hot Iron,,Iron ur Pussy out
Mtchewwww
''@Ruth abor Kor Kuu''
@Galore
Are u also from a broken home?she's trying to make her marriage work n u people should try to encourage her...am not saying she should just stay there and let d man kill her but hey,because most of u are products of broken homes doesn't mean everybody marriage should end up in divorce.some couples pass through dat abusive phase n things later changed for d better,their own case could end up like dat too.encourage them.there's nothing God cannot fix.
DeleteOk...I try as much as I can not to comment, but sometimes its hard to resist... Let's leave God out of this issue, kids raised in a home like this are worse that kids raised without a father or mother. Please she needs to leave that house, and people need to stop encouraging women yo stay n make it work, but I guess in this case she is satisfied with her situation if not, she will move out and save herself... I just dont wanna talk anymore, cos some women are so STUPID it hurts!!! Ughhhh!!
Delete*am out
*everybody's marriage
DeleteThis society isn't helping matters. Being single or divorced is like a disease.
ReplyDeleteTitilayo Omoh Arowolo is six feet under now cos she didn't heed to advice. What will people say was always her reply.. Pity she's dead now..
This issue of domestic violence is becoming rampant and no one seems to be doing anything. I always thought it was a common occurrence among illiterates, but it saddens me that people who went to school and should know better have joined the trend. My younger sister's friend sent her a pic yesterday and you need to see this pic. She's pregnant yet her husband beat her blue n black. Funny enough, the husband attended the same school with them. According to my sister's friend, he beat her up cos she asked him where he was coming from in the middle of the nite. Kemi (that's her name) had a job with a bank and has always been responsible for the upkeep of the home, her husband was and is still jobless (bad move). Anyway, she lost her job in the recent retrenchment exercise the bank carried out and since then, its been hell on earth. I spoke with her yesterday and advised her to leave her home for the time being, but the way she responded showed that she's not ready to leave. Anyway, I believe the media should really focus on this dangerous trend and create more awareness. There's also a couple on my street. They spend more time at the police station than at home. Just last week, the man dragged his wife on the road as naked as a new born baby. Honestly, its disheartening.
Quite touching. I feel badly for them ooooooo.
DeleteBeing a divorcee in Nigeria is like carrying contagious disease. It automatically becomes your identity.
Too bad.
If it likes let it be like bad smell...the day I get any form of violence, I go run leave my husband! I'll be somewhere safe deciding if its separation or going back. Black women(esp Nigerian women) are too into this "remaining Mrs". Anybody that stays and dies in the process na them sabi! Mtcheeew...
DeleteOluyomi, did Kemi send you to broadcast her matter on a blog?
DeleteOde, find the Kemi na. Go to every bank and look for Kemi.
DeleteMaybe she wants to work it out , she is enjoying something we all don't know . I will ask a friend I know . Honey I wish you the best .
ReplyDeleteHehehehe...some women enjoys the beatings they get from their hubby...I know someone like that...abeg oo,make I go sell my pepper joor...will be right back with my Ogogoro....
ReplyDeleteNne keep one shot of kai kai for me. All these low self-esteem women. Lawd have mercy
DeleteIf na star marriage fail now spit go dry for all of una mouth.
ReplyDeleteNo mind them. SMH
DeleteComment 4 reach 300,yeye pipo.
DeletePlease advise her that she can leave the marriage and still get the counselling she needs because I can bet it that her self esteem has gone down, she'll definitely need counselling but not for the marriage, for her self!!!!
ReplyDeleteShe had better leave the abusive marriage. How come she's d one looking for a counsellor and not her abusive husband? Obviously he's not planning to change.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhy are you taking panadol for her headache?
Let her die there.
Psheeeeew.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you taking panadol for her headache?
Let her die there.
Psheeeeew.
More often than not, d fear of d unknown makes most women remain in abusive r\ships n marriages. 2ndly, d society always laden women wt d sole responsibility of making a r\ship or marriage work. 3rdly, it somtimes bothers on personality issue: d woman might feel she will b worthless wtout d man. Its better t leave d r\ship or marriage f a while (n work out things frm d outside) cos u might neva live t tell d story. He maims u n life just goes on, before u r even buried anoda woman comes t take ur place. Mschew, God help women in situations like ds.. Amen
ReplyDeleteI know but I won't post any counsellor's contact. She will just be wasting the councellor's time since she's not ready to help herself. She must make the first move and acknowledge the magnitude of the problem. She can't be forced.
ReplyDeleteHer pastor is responsible, i hate those money sucking vampires.
ReplyDeleteNellaluv, I believe u scarra na them oh
Deletelol
ReplyDeleteI'm sure her case is not that bad, that's why she is still willing to work on it first before quitting.
ReplyDeleteI pray she gets to solve her problem. I wish her luck...smh.
No one can help her unless she wants help.
ReplyDeleteSomeone urgently needs to slap her back to reality as she seems to be in denial.
ReplyDeleteI know it's the shame of been divorced that's making her stay...may God give her the courage to leave. Some women strong sha, nne you better leave now with your two legs, so you don't get to leave in a coffin.
ReplyDeleteHer decision to still stay in the marriage probably stems from the fear of the unknown but thank goodness she's open to counselling, that's the first step for her to come to senses.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeew. FOOLISH WOMAN!
ReplyDeleteHmmmnnmmm.......thou e no easy to commot o!!! Bt let her give it a try first nd if e no work make she bounce!!!!
ReplyDeleteStephanie said:
ReplyDeleteShe is still wrapped up in his world of infatuation, wake up girl and face reality before you find yourself 6 feet below the ground . Am sorry I don't have any contact to marriage counselor in Nigeria.You need to counsel yourself first by getting your butt out of there before its been lifelessly slashed out for you!
I'm a bit taken aback to read Stella, Lepa Shandy and Galore saying stuff like "die there na, na she sabi, etc". Hmmmn, how exactly are you helping the psychologically weak victim?
ReplyDeleteMarriage counsellor my ass!.
ReplyDeleteWhat she needs is to get the heck out of that hellish relationship then get a counsellor to help her get through whatever trauma she may have suffered being in that relationship. Her days are numbered if she continues to stay in that relationship. It's only a matter of time before he deals her that final blow that would put her in the grave. I have ZERO pity for women like these.
Keep praying for her.....love is blind, foolish, crazy and stupid. Ile olomo ni ma ku si, iya lo jebe!
ReplyDeleteU guys shdnt jump into conclusion, do u know whether she is d cause of thr quarrel n mayb d hubby is hot tempered n cnt tolerate her excesses. Got a friend that can nag n yab for Africa, d hubby beats her like a panel beater but she always blames herself at d end of d day cos d guy is a very nice one, just dt he has a hot temperament, so d only tn we adviced her is to find a way to curb her mistakes n she is doing just dt, with time I pray tnz will be perfect. Say no to divorce.
ReplyDeleteI tink u r senseless. No apologies! Ppl like u r dos dat encourage der frnds to stick to der abusive spouse. Nd u r d type dat wldnt let ur child bck in if he/she falls victim of an abusive spouse. U shld take several seats. I hate u witout seein u alrdy cos of dis ur comment.
DeleteHow can u say u hate someone u v never met, my dear its dt how barbaric n frustrated u are. I understand u are a product of a shattered home, not sure if u r not a product from a licked fake condom. I pity u, u sound so immature n unreasonable, u shd hide urslf in shame. As for my friend, my advice worked wonderfully for her n d marriage has greatly improved to Gods glory n I will keep on doing wot am doing even wen it go against d likes of twats like u, I no send wether u like me or not cos a shallow minded swine like u v notn meaningful to add to my life, faceless anonymous coward.
DeletePlz help her wit number o,na we de complain say marrage de break quik na we stil de say make she comot 4 marriage,she wants 2 work it out as av seen so many coment on broken marriage,"y can't she work it out"now help her plz dnt insult her
ReplyDeleteMy God bless u @anon 3:22pm. They complain of breakup yet they sill advise her to go for divorce, so whenever there's any situation either caused by the woman or the man, the next thing is divorce! *long hissss* you spoke the right words jooor.
DeleteHave a friend like that. The hubby was so abusive, beating her up at the slightest provocation, even to the point of locking her in the house when he goes out and instructing the help not to, on any note, open the door for her. We helped her escape only for her to go back after a while. The decision to leave lies with her. If not she'll just keep going back.
ReplyDeleteI don't knw where some people think from
ReplyDeleteShe needs someone to tighting the scroll that has loosen in her system
Sad.
ReplyDeleteI guess she's in denial.
No comment on dis....some woman are just daft and airheads....so after payin big money to see a counsellor, wat next....a miracle...mtcheww
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't wanna be seen divorced or seperated!! My dear,ur life first ohhhh
ReplyDeletemiss lepa, why are u this mean? dang !your comments on other posts... give an advice, dont be sarcastic if you dont have better things to say please "find lemon make u suck"
ReplyDeleteSomeppl can endure sha.....All d best as she looks for d counsellor
ReplyDeleteI have no respect for women who have declared themselves worthless by allowing themselves be beaten by their supposed 'life partner' and 'soulmates' without walking away. You deserve nothing good for yourself
ReplyDeleteWell u didn't say if she wants counselling on how to leave or on how to put up with DV?
ReplyDeleteEither way, I believe she will know what to do without counselling;
U either make up your mind to walk when it becomes unbearable or stay if u can take the disrespect.
Is d the husband ready to be counselled?
If yes that is a good step and I hope they find a good counsellor or they should both try and find out where things went wrong and how to make it right. That is what counsellor do though; help them retrace.
Now if the man isnt ready to be counselled, I believe that d wife has been made to believe she is good for nothing and the fault of their problems that is y she seek counselling alone.
If she fails to realize that it takes two, i wish her all the best of luck and the patience of waiting dogs.
Phbabe
Why would everything lead to to divorce? Her own level of DV 'MIGHT' not be the 'kicking' and 'beating' type that's why she said she need a marriage counsellor. Let's not conclude. She can also contact her pastor. If u have any M.counsellor's contact, kindly provide rather than throwing insults. NB: Everybody is entitled to his/her own opinion. Thank U..
ReplyDelete08023229210
ReplyDelete08187351279
08036505324
Counsellors@daystarng.org
Those are the numbers for daystar counsellors. I really wish the lady the very best.
-babe
Uh??? Say what??? Daystar counsellors???
DeleteI love the church, but abeg leave story. They counsel you and then forget about you. They don't EVER follow up.
Yes, I've been counselled by one of them before for domestic violence issues and from the looks of it they do it to fulfill all righteousness.
Please give her contact details for professional counsellors.
Thank you!
Sorry about your experience. I've been counsellrd by one of them before, they followed up and they are still in touch with me. And some of them are actually professionally trained.
DeleteLike I said, im sorry about your experience. Doesnt make them all bad.
Stella dere must be a reason y she s still n d marriage,jst investigate first bf concludn
ReplyDeleteYeaaa....I believe she is afraid she can't live without him or the so called husband must have so dealt with her physically and emotionally that she thinks her whole world revolves round him.
ReplyDeleteShe does need help.
So true BL.
DeleteHmm...the number of DV cases we keep hearing about is getting out of hand. Ladies please value your life! E don reach make these women learn some Jackie chan moves and whoop the stupid men's asses. Abeg na karate class make she find.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note ladies pls you know wetin Una dey go through...why stay with a man that can't treat you like the queen you are. learn from other DV stories, don't add yours to it.
Nt even a single number. Mostly abusive words.... Its nt helping the matter. The lady came here for help, mayb the counsellor can help, just mayb. Dear poster, true true I dont av anybodi, mayb those that said they av, can av a change of hrt and post it. Minwhile, yhu can get sumwhere to relax while both of yhu meet for the counselling..... Yhu can do the search on your own......
ReplyDeletesome of you sound so ignorant that it hurts. So if a woman nags and yabs the cure is beating? I have never ever commented here but this your angle prompted me. Women should stop being enablers of these beasts abeg, I know some women have caustic tongues but as the yorubas' would say 'oribibe ko ni ogun orififo' literally means 'cutting off the head won't stop your headache'. If your woman has bad mouth there are other ways of taming it than beating her as if she is a wild animal that you are trying to domesticate.
ReplyDeleteU are right but not every man is mature enough to act dt way, no one is perfect n thr are tnz dt may be lacking in ur own relationship or r u Mr perfect.
DeleteD children she's tryin 2 protect dat is if she has kids.....wen d man kills her,wil her ghost stay around 2 protect d kids?make she stay dere dey form I want my marriage 2 work,it wil work wit ur dead body...bloody idiot! Kip sayin u want a marriage counsellor until u die!!!! Dats s problem wit victims,dey kip waitin,hopin tins wuld work out until dey get damaged physically n emotionally,some end up scarred 4 life,some end up dead,it works 4 sum pple but do u wanna wait n c wat ur end wil b lyk?its ur damn lyf.....if u wanna remain unda violence,SIT dere n DIE! Bloody foolish woman! Dats hw we lost a family frnd 2 domestic violence...she wanted 2 stay n work it out..where is she nw?she's in d grave workin it out while husband has found himself anoda wyf stil beatin d bloody daylyts out of d new wyf....bloody fool! Stay wit d violent man n die,u cnt make heaven if u die unda dat man's violence cos its suicide n God frowns @ suicide....u wil suffer beatins here n wen u die after d man kills u,u wil suffer in hell too...NONSENSE!! She doesn't nid no1 2 advice her!
ReplyDeleteI said It before in a similar case right here. I said no b pesin go tell them wether to leave or stay. He/she who feels it knows it.
ReplyDeleteMy dear,u beta run 4 ur lyf
ReplyDeleteWow.creatd ma acct.no more anonymous comments
ReplyDeleteMy cousin died at 32 leaving behind 3 young children, her husband was physically AND verbally abusive towards her. It didn't result directly in her death but partly. The man is married again today, didn't even mourn her for up to a year. My auntie died at 33 (around 1987). I witnessed first hand at a young age how her husband used to beat her black and blue. She was 7 months pregnant when she died in the hands of her hubby. I remember her sisters then telling her to leave but she said the guy would change. He didn't until he killed her. He's married to someone else today with kids. If these two women had left their husbands, they would probably have still been alive today. The poster does NOT need a counsellor! She needs to advice herself and leave the man. It's highly unlikely that he will change
ReplyDeleteThere's something wrong with the women in your family
Deletesometimes when u luv someone u luv with ur body and soul then notyn matters to u,u just want to stick with that person for life....i dnt blame her and am not encouraging her,it has worked for sum pple and it has taken sum pple to an early grave.
ReplyDeleteMay God help her sha
ReplyDeleteGrowing up nd having my dad hit my mum was pretty diificult, but thank God she moved on! Though the scars still remain, my dear the fact that you said for better or worse dsnt min u shld die there oo! If him beat belle comot one day nko? Or blind ya 1 eye? Worst of all kill you, omo na dia your story end ooo! Try d counselling thingy, but if it dsnt work, jejely nd nwayoly comot abeg!
ReplyDeleteThis topic is really close to my heart. My husband used to verbally and emotionally abuse me. He never laid his hands on me but what I went through was more than physical abuse. I got pregnant and was so lonely and depressed until I lost the pregnancy.i used to pray to God to take my life and wish I never woke up the next day. Until I had the courage to take ownership of my own life. People will obviously talk but at one point, they will get tired of talking. Counsellors fix issues in marriages but cannot stop a dominating specie from hitting you. NO MAN HAS THE RIGHT TO LAY A FINGER ON HIS WIFE!!!if its doing you to beat, go.and beat her father or brother and see if you will come out alive
DeleteOluyumi how would you feel if someone gave out your story on another blog comment section mentioning your name and all. I get what you are trying to pass across but please use aliases or nicknames when referring to people you know any mutual friends who know this Kemi and read your comment will just know it is her you are talking about. You did the same with that ghost story by mentioning your co worker's name. Abeg babe unless someone gives you permission to do so telling the world their private business while mentioning their names and jobs is not cool at all.
ReplyDeleteNow im suspecting you are the kemi sef.
DeleteIt's amazing how People think. Madam Please take a trip to the dry cleaner's and wash your mind. Do not stay in an abusive marriage it could lead to your death and your children won't forgive you. Counselling won't help, what are you expecting to hear???? Painkillers to use, How to apply bandage or Press your body with hot water. Baby. Noooooo, ure better than you give yourself credit for, u deserve so much more, Honey your price is far above rubies. And you are better alive than dead, U are an asset to the economy. The counsel I'm giving u as a counsellor is to let it sink that you are more than a punching bag and every other thing can be added. It's ok if you don't want to leave but ull be responsible for whatever happens to you.
ReplyDeleteIf she dies where she is na she sabi. So what now? Stella, the solution to every minor major domestic violence is moving out of the house? Crap! One hard lesson we all have to learn is that life is not a bed of roses and no marriage is perfect. If our mothers had packed from their marriages because they couldn't take the challenges, life will not be what it s. Let us be properly guided please, the woman has asked for a marriage counsellor, after that is given to her, and their is no change, you cn then advice her to move out. Stella, we look up to you as a role model please. Do not teach our young girls that instead making their marriage work, they should move out the next day after their wedding.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. The government should introduce DV mopol hotline for any woman who feels she has been abused physically, emotionally and psychologically. Let them spend a week in cell and govt should tax them N100k per abuse. Men will stop by force and divorce rate will reduce. Willt that make you happy?
DeleteI know of a counsellor, her name is mrs Makinde in university of Lagos, u can visit unilag and ask of her in faculty of education. You can call me on this no if u need any help of getting her. 08188886834(oyin)
ReplyDeleteAll those advocating for the woman to get "counselling" na wah for una marital challenges like finances etc are very different from domestic violence it is because of attitudes of people like you that many will continue to suffer in abusive marriages. So a man uses you as his punching bag, drags you down the staircase while pregnant you miscarry the pregnancy one day you land in hospital with a broken arm thanks to this loving husband and you sit there and work on making marriage work? Tufiakwa! My uncle and his sons went and got his daughter out of an abusive husband's house that one was pick and go oh there was no discussing saving marriage matter. It is people like you that will come here offering condolences when the woman has been killed.
ReplyDelete79 comments. And only one person has given phone number.
ReplyDeleteWe are really the problems.
My heart breaks for married women in our society. People, there is no working on a marriage where one party is Mike Tyson and the other is the sacrificial lamb. Please, there is NOTHING you can say to a person to warrant a beat down, there is NOTHING you can do to warrant a beat down. I am typing this with so much frustration. Aunty S, you will not believe the number of our girls being used as punching bags in common relationships o, forget marriage...all in the name of having someone. Our mothers have failed us, our fathers have failed us.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you staying to work out? Loving your spouse through their Muhammed Ali aspirations? A violent person is not rational. NOTHING you do can help. I know two married couples, both too old to fight anymore. Both women are riddled with health challenges because of enduring the beating. Unfortunately, their daughters are in the same situation now.
Please my beautiful women, please save yourselves. If you made the mistake of marrying a violent person, take the L and save your life. You can not change any man. Only God can and guess what...it is only when that man chooses to accept the change. Too many young women dying or suffering in shame. Your Mrs title means squat to your kids, the people you are saving face from will never come to your aid. Life is hard, don't make it harder than it needs to be. This topic disturbs me to no end. God is in control and open the Nigerian woman's eyes. This was not His plan for marital unions. We first need to start dating and marrying right and then our lot will change for the better.
@Queen Amy, hot tempered kwa. Does he fight men that rile him up? So I can lash out anyhow because I have an off temperament. Please Aunty S, sometimes I feel you shouldn't post these stories to avoid certain people having a say. THIS is an example of why abused women and men are suffering. According to this young lady, one should change to accommodate someone not mature enough to hold themselves together. As if you are married to a child. Amy, if you find yourself in such a marriage you will tire! You will be doing chameleon until he drives you to the mad house. Please read up on the psychology of an abusive person. There is squat you can do to tame them except leave the situation and allow them to make up their minds to change or move on with their lives.
ReplyDeleteOur Father is not a God of Chaos...abeg make una check your Bibles and I'm sure it is in the Quran. Stop endorsing nonsense in the name of saving marriages. A marriage that was never His will in the first place. Biko nu.
ReplyDelete