PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AN SOS
The poster and victim will be reading your comments...she needs help...please help if you can..pleaseeeee!
Hello aunt Stella, Happy sunday.
I have a very good friend and colleague at work . She is a married mother of two young babies. I got to know her husband beats her like crazy. Even when she was pregnant. Beats her with belts and iron rods. If anyone attempts to stop him from doing so he beats them too.
The recent one was just last week . He beat her so bad and put a knife to her neck, he also dragged her to the balcony and wanted to throw her downstairs. He also said he would shoot her and her family.
To make matters worse, her in laws pays no attention to what her husband does to her.
My friend is a very beautiful and nice woman who treats this same man as a king but he beats her up over stupid issues like "Her family visiting ". The recent bone of contention is that he doesn't want her to work or engage in any business to the extent that he frustrates all her efforts. He beats up any nanny she employs, doesn't want her family or friends around. I sneak to her place whenever he isn't home.
She graduated with a first class and cant afford to be a full housewife because the only time she tried it the husband showed her pepper. Won't drop money for upkeep of the house and kept rubbing it in her face that he was the only one bringing money home. so she got a job very close to home. 9am-5pm.
This last beating made her fear for her life and she ran away with her kids. She doesn't know how to go about her job and school for her kids fearing he might come looking for them. She went to the police station to report him but they tried extorting money from her. She went to see a lawyer but he demanded 90k from her for a protection order from the court and I'm sure they will ask for more money from her. And she has to save the money she has for new rent and upkeep of her kids.
The reason for writing to you is to know if there are NGOs she can run to that can protect her from the husband and also fight for her rights at little or no expense? She is really in need of it.
*Is there any lawyer on board who is willing to get her the restriction order she needs for free?
.jpeg)
Help SOS call, men are now beast.
ReplyDeleteI am a lawyer and I ll get her a restriction order for free....send me a mail on talktololu@yahoo.com.
DeleteNawao this life please call WOMEN ARISE on 08034090205 hopefully they will help.stay blessed. «««MON AMI»»»
DeleteD beast shud b chained n caqed
DeleteD beast shud b chained n caqed
Deleteect Alert is a non-governmental women's rights organisation set up in January 1999 to promote and protect the rights of women and young girls. The headquaters of Project Alert is in Lagos while Abuja has a branch office.
Delete21, Akinsanya Street Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC) Ojodu - Berger Lagos, Nigeria 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
info@projectalertnig.org
ABUJA OFFICE
26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone: 234 -8708618
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
Oh God. This is really sad. The kind of ill treatment women go through in the hands of their husbands.
ReplyDelete**what about her own family? The writer didnt say anything about her family's reaction to the physical abuse their daughter is going through.
Anyway i believe she will get help through this medium.
It is well.
Am tired of hearing defenceless wuman crying all d tym abt ds,u hv to learn takewondo,or kung fu,kung fu hs ass anyday he touches u,mtchew
DeletePls she need to contact a pastor asap n it won't cost her much though just few cents kk dear its well.
DeletePastor Praise Abj.
Same pastor praise d rapist or a different one?
Deletewas just about asking the same question, ok, answer fast
DeleteI read about a pastor praise too oo, said he rapes children.
DeleteI read about a pastor praise too oo, said he rapes children.
DeleteFirst step is to stay away from him money or no money, God always take's care of his own no matter what, again i will like to ask where her family members are? Where are her parents??? i am sorry to suggest this but what happened to all the area boys in Nigeria? they can be paid to beat the hell out of him ( i have never done this ) i just feel men like this have to be beaten by other men. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThe man has been presented here as a beast.
ReplyDeleteHe beats her,he beats her,he beats her n she does what exactly?
She sits down n mope at him with her first class certificate.
So she doesn't have common sense to retaliate or even run for her dear life.
I guess she enjoys being the victim with all that uve said about her.
I'm drawing no conclusions till I hear from the supposed batterer.
Marriage should be enjoyed not endured.
It isn't a do or die affair!
#my opinion
And it stinks
DeletePlease google domestic violence and spend some time reading about it. If u don't have any thing constructive to say be quiet. There is no award for the most consistent commenter on SDK's blog especially one who just talks ....&@%$.
Words fail me cos what comes to mind is not a word I would like to use.
Madam voice /advocate for the "supposed batterers" please update us on his side of the story when you find him whilst we try to proffer solutions that could potentially save a victims life!
You're indeed an idiot
DeleteThis mamie girl is really irritating!
DeleteM-amie I've always laughed when people yab u. But seriously I think u need to realize that u don't always have to comment. Obviously u are not married cos with these thought process u exhibit here u would definitely be a victim of domestic violence. I'm sure u are about 12 years. Old and stealing ur mom's iPad to read and comment here. In effect what I'm saying is SHUT UP!!!
DeleteAmie dis I say 2u b reasonable wen commentin on ish dat has 2do wif ppl'z situation @ d moment. U wonder y ppl commit suicide? Y not kip ur side of disbelieve 2urself n say sth constructive n helpful? U may not b married n I pray u don't face dis coz its not a pleasant xperience 4dos who hv xperienced it. Instead of addin 2 their pains juz don't utter a word mbok
DeleteIt's obvious you know jack shit about this menace called domestic violence. Mundane everyday stuff that happens between couples and never results in getting beaten triggers these abusers. Take the case of my neighbour who gets beaten for silly stuff like cooking her hubby's food and keeping in a warmer before he comes back at his unholy hours like 2am, he expects her to wake up and make his semo fresh at that time of the day even though she wraps it up in gigantic towels b4 putting in the warmer and warms the soup that early morning,he gets ticked off just bcos he saw her bringing it out of d warmer at that time and not making it fresh as he got back. Now you might say she wants to play the victim and be right to an extent but you need to realise that these men are devious! They make sure the woman is financially dependent on them and alienate them from friends and family which makes them helpless most times cos they would have been demoralised to the level that they aren't good enough for anything but to be treated that way.
Deletelol.....m-amie am always amazed at your daft comments......dont u process your words before typing....thinking is not rocket science just a few seconds action.....even if the woman has a fault why should there be a beating involved? can your small ineffective brain process that if the friend is asking for this information then she has genuine reasons? so you didnt read the part that says she has finally run away? what quality of education did you get before running to marry abroad......i feel embarrassed for your husband walahi
DeleteMamie, that was not a really nice response or comment. Most men who beat their wives don't wait to be provoked. And where I come from, you are taught to be obedient to the man, don't talk back etc. So when it starts you don't even know how and when to respond to this. It's just that these days ladies are getting bolder and DV awareness is on the increase otherwise I would say every 3 to 4 women have experienced it. Sometimes it's not the beatings, nit can be verbal, emotional etc. I would say to you be more observant and compassionate to people who go through stuff. There are a lot of questions to ask in this kind of scenario.
DeleteM-amie......did u proof read ur comment before sending it at all??? why do u comment like an insensitive person most times??? u are a woman and i expect u to have some feelings especially on sensitive issues such as dis......"she sits down and mope at him with her first class certificate"......very wicked statement from u....*maybe her first class dey vex u*.....next time if u dont have anything to say/type to proffer a solution to anything been discussed,,,pls let ur mouth/fingers be in dia rightful positions instead of spewing rubbish......
DeleteFirst class graduate doesn't know what to do? I smell something and it aint my fart. Doesn't she have family members? We all got problems.
ReplyDeleteYes,we've all got problems but pause for a minute to show compassion to others and help in whatever capacity that you can. You have not been help,idiot!
DeleteB reasonable pls
DeleteNa wa o .... Marriage now sounds very scary to venture into!! Lord have mercy kwa
ReplyDeleteWats her location??? , where is her family, isnt there somewhr she can go and hide for a while.
ReplyDeleteI'm already scared for the woman and her kids. A restraining order will not stop the husband from killing her, since that's what he's up to. She needs to enter seriou ghost mode.
ReplyDeleteThe man should sign an undertaking that if anything happens to her or d kids, even if it's sudden cold and catarrh, whether they are in the same region as him ir not, he will be held responsible.
That man does not deserve to be alive.
Has she tried prayers???
ReplyDeletehate to say this, but anon 9pm.. You are a big fool!! i would not bother expantiating on that conclusion... but you are a solid FOOL!!! Just Ask your friends...
DeleteDo you mean before, during or after the beatings???
DeleteJust need some clarity on your question
Thanks
anon 9pm!what are u saying?Ta getout of here!.
Deletereturn to sender...
Anon 9pm, you're probably one of the fools who'd eat grass if their pastor asks them to. Sometimes prayer wouldn't do the work of action. Wake up idiot!
DeleteOMG. Maybe Anon 9pm meant to say that anytime the guy starts beating her,she shud start speaking in tongue.
DeleteGod pls send help her way. Is she in ph? I can talk to my parents on her behalf
ReplyDeleteThe man is mad...does he fight his fellow men as well?....naija women have suffered.....thank God you have left him.....
ReplyDeleteForget protocol give me the bastard's number let me warn him. If anything happens to her or her kids he's in soup. All these foolish women beaters should be thought jungle justice. Enough is enough. Haba.
ReplyDeleteDo these men realise the only reason a father will hand his daughter over to a man for marriage is cos he expects him to make his daughter's life better than when she was in her father's house...This girl needs help.pls holla.
ReplyDeleteCecenaija
Where's Nnenna my darling. Come o
ReplyDeletePlease let her contact Project Alert. They have a track record in providing legal and social support in these issues.
ReplyDeleteI pray she gets the help she needs.. Shalom
ReplyDeleteWow! This is so sad.
ReplyDeleteNa wa oo. Its so pathetic but thank God she left the house alive. My condolence to your friend. Let me check if there's any organization that can handle her case and that of her kids, I will be back to post her the details. Its well nne.
ReplyDeleteSorry Dear,things are happening. What is her Family doing?
ReplyDeleteHow is this helpful?
DeleteLawyers and human right activists please help her.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is getting out of hand in Nigeria. The same thing happened to the lady I have been searching for a job for, only that she does not have a child. She was rescued from the abuser last month. He didn't allow her to work. She does not even have a phone as the man confiscated the one she had before marriage. She read library science. Any one who could help her get a job please o help her. Her email address is chifavourfaith22@yahoo.com. Rose
It's FIDA she would have to run to. If she has a friend that is a lawyer, tell her to introduce her to anyone in FIDA...it's an international body of female lawyers aimed at fighting for women and children. It's free.
ReplyDeleteWhich state is she based in ? If its my state, I will gladly help her get one. Kindly state her location under this comment. Thanks
ReplyDeleteHello Stella, I'm new here.. an employee of mine just referred me to ur blog just to see dis post..
ReplyDeleteWhoever the poster is ,pls tell the woman to come to our office in Ojodu ..
Project Alert on Violence Against Woman..
21, Akinsanya street
Off Isheri road..Behind FRSC
Ojodu Berger...lagos.
The nearest b/stop is Taiwo b/stop...
Is the woman in Lagos?.
God bless you.
Deletemay God continue to bless you and ur term for all of ur efforts!..
DeleteGod bless u dear.
DeleteDat man s a sadist I pray she get d requird hlp. Hw I wish I could hlp but pls dnt go back 2 him dnt wait till he kills u and ll leta say s d Devils work we ve had lot f stories like ds but @ d end of d day woman gt injured or killd all in d name of he s d father of my children. Pls run 4 ur dear life so dat u can takare of ur children cos dy r ur treasure.
ReplyDeleteSholamatty
Where am I??? #confused face
ReplyDeleteDidn't I just open from bookmark, Stella dimoko korkus blog?
*pinch screen to close* going to type from Google search....brb
Lol, I asked my self the same question.
DeleteGod Help HOTGIST
ReplyDeleteIt might be helpful to say what state she is in for accurate suggestions.
ReplyDeletePosters location? That could help..Any lawyer who wants to help would want to know location.
ReplyDeleteYay...stellas blog has a new format, yipee!!!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous..xoxo
I know a lady who helps domestic violence victims she is a lawyer who relocated from the uk. I don't live here but visit regularly. I will try and locate her via mutual friends and when I do I will send a direct email to SDK. Stay strong and be safe
ReplyDeleteLord have mercy. Please someone speak out. I know Project Alert is quite good, how far they will be willing to go on this one is up to them. They are very good though... Reach out to them with your story,you dont know what they might be willing to do....
ReplyDeleteMarriage! Marriage!! Marriage !!!....Dear poster, are u sure she's ready to leave Or just angry @ d moment? Ladies can b so funny o pls b sure of wat d poster wants b4 u ask for help, Meanwhile wat city are u guys in? I wld advice she leaves dat city for now pls reply. Tnx
ReplyDeleteYou feel she should leave after she is dead as opposed to while she is still breathing just cos she is angry right?
DeleteHmmm good advise right there
What she's saying is that after being helped out of very abusive violent situations some women choose to return, as unfortunate as this may sound.
DeleteMay God direct her and teach her what to do at dis difficult moment.
ReplyDeleteYippeee.... Congratulations Stella, for this beautiful new site look. God will continue to move you forward.
This sounds like my friends story o. It is well with marriages.
ReplyDeleteProject alert, read it on bellanaija. And madam, self defense is not murder, keep a pocket knife handy to give him "ila Ibadan" as a reminder of his attack. Or "shook" him somewhere he'll never forget.
ReplyDeleteYes. In our 2nd year of marriage,during an argument my hubby gave me a resounding slap,I no respond. Months later he tried it again but I was ready for him. I bit his arm n gave him a ferocious kick in the groin n then ran out with my son. I was in shorts n tank top. I didn't return for a week n he looked for us everywhere. Two weeks later we returned. That boy is in ss3 now n oga has never beaten me again. He jokes abt it n says if I had kicked his prick inside his belle,I for dey enjoy am now?. I know some violent men dey but ladies,defend urselves. Bite. Or kick the groin. Or drag the prick if he's on boxers.
DeleteMadam bite am any where or give am terrible mark that he will remember you for life for d pain he cause you!....,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry abt this situation...i really wish i can help this woman, i will remember her in my prayers. For women that might be going through any form of abuse, especially physical abuse, i read something a while ago which i think it will be beneficial. If u are going thru domestic abuse, pls do the follow:
ReplyDelete1. Plan your exit strategy. Studies show that 85% of women that dont have exit strategy always go back to the abuser. What shld be ur exit strategy?. 1. Have a bag packed with your basic essentials that will last u for a week and keep with a trusted friend or family. Have a bag for each child u will take away with u. 2. Document every episode of abuse...keep the diary with a trusted friend n family, include pics if possible. 3. Have some money saved up..in an acct which ur abuser have no access to...(infact every woman shld have that...one less aso-ebi per month is enuf money to save per month).
4. Have a chat with a legal practitioner on your chances on seperation and divorce. 5. Depending on how violent ur abuser is, employ personal security or go on the ghost mode....anything to keep u and ur kids safe..5. pray, pray and pray hard....
Like As her advicer @ poster,why can,t you help her out first?marriage destroyers,
ReplyDeletesorry I said this as an NGO holder here in Nigeria iam,,,but I has seen alots of cases like this one,
wen de woman always like to go back to de same man she has loved,and keep on saying dat it was one of her best friend dat misleed her,so are you one of them?@madam2kids do u really wish to leave ur husband from now?becos some times you guys begin to hate an NGOs WHO has helped u guys with advice nd money,thx,nd drop ur email under,,thx alots my lovely stella korkor,for this ur wonderful site,is only God in heaven must pay u back,i love ur system,GOD BLESS
You don't even sound educated. What do u want them to drop their email for. I suggest u help urself first by resiting for waec. NGO holder indeed!
DeleteNGO holder....abeg gerrout jor!!! You are a scam artist. This your english fit kill pesin
DeleteSincerely Annon 3:42am.....u made me do wat i dont like to do in cases like dis.....u made me laugh real hard and its not nice enough with d kind of issue been discussed......which university did u study NGO,,,cos u said u are an NGO HOLDER,,,,kai,,,,u need help ASAP,,too......Stella,,,see as NGO HOLDER help u re-structure ur name..."stella korkor" ......nothing wey person no go see for dis blog....hian...
DeleteI will never tire of commenting on these stories. Madam, please GET OUT NOW! As someone said, help will come from where you least expect. He needs therapy, anger management and a complete reorientation before you go back to that house. You go back...you are buying trouble. I know it is hard but what you are walking away from is absolutely nothing, if you look at it like this..."You are walking away from untimely death into what God has for you", you will be fine. You have a 1st class certificate, dust that thing up. You have to have the spirit of a lionness. Get yourself together, your babies need you to be strong and provide for them. They need a healthy environment to grow up in, you as a single mother can provide that for them. It is better than subjecting them to their beast of a father (Lord forgive me). Please get out now.
ReplyDeleteI am not speaking from a place of judgment, I am speaking from a place of experience as I went through but I did not wait for iron rods to come out, the first time was enough. I fled as far as my legs could carry me. Elders from his side came to beg and my father asked them if he gave them a punching bag as a wife, as none of them could answer...he asked them to please allow him to help his daughter heal from their son's treatment. Naija women, you were trained as a child ba, no man should be "disciplining" you. You are not a baby or a child. If you have a boy friend with a temper, let that thing be checked before you jump into marriage. A man with a temper, patience issues and huge insecurities turns into a man with an aggressive streak. He will not change when you get married, he will not change if you stop talking back or talking at all. He will not change if you stop dressing like the young woman that you are. He will only change when he wants to.
The person that asked if she has tried prayers is right but my dear, try the prayers as you pack your bags. Don't let our Father ask why you did not use the sense He gave you to run 4*40. You can pray from afar. Don't stupidly sit there, please and please. God bless you. Stella please once she is out...if you can post bank details. From one survivor to another, my sister...get out and get on with your life.
Godbless you! It will continue being well with you
DeleteThere ought to be a huge penalty for women beaters and rapist. Its on the increase daily
ReplyDeleteThere ought to be huge penalties for women beaters and rapist.. Its on the increase.. E.g rapist death by hanging.. Women beaters; 20years imprisonment. Am sure it will put a stop to this madness.
ReplyDeleteMen! Na wa! Pls madam run ooooooo
ReplyDeleteMen! Na wa! Pls madam run ooooooo
ReplyDeleteWell said.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend kicked me on my face last 9t, can't get over the shock .......
ReplyDeleteHow does someone get kicked on the face, was he fighting taekwando on u? Na wa o! Noting wey person no go hear
DeleteEwu. Bf no be hubby ooo. Maybe after the kicking u still gave him anal sex with the pain on ur face. Calabar Girl!!
Deleteleave the negroe, trust me am not jealous of you cos am already married....get out fast cos he will do the same thing once u marry him......
DeleteThis is the first time I am agreeing with Mamie.
ReplyDeleteshut your stupid mouth....agreeing with a fool shows u are also a fool......go back and read the comments, process and think then come back and tell us if u agree with mamie......mumu follow follow
DeleteThis is the first time I am agreeing with Mamie.
ReplyDeleteAnon7:52.... U just said u bf kicked u on d face nd u can't get over d shock? Pls stay there okay...2mao na gun he go put for u head! Some ladies r stupid sha nd u came here to write sumfin dis stupid! Pls manage d kick nd let it graduate..afterall he's ur bf ok? @xclucivexter!
ReplyDeleteMy dear run 4 ur life, from kick to punching bag from punching bag to d grave... Pls say no to domestic violence
DeleteMy dear run 4 ur life, from kick to punching bag from punching bag to d grave... Pls say no to domestic violence
DeleteANON 10.43......THE PROJECT ALERT CREW IS A BIG FRAUD...I WILL KEEP SAYING THIS COS I HAVE BEEN FAILED BY THEM.
ReplyDeletePls jist us what happened
Deletelet us know how they failed you cos you are talking bunkum.....they have helped people i know so give us facts......write under anonymous if u like but give us facts....
DeleteHey Stella, mine is that my bf called me a BIG FOOL last week but his mom sorted d issue out and begged me to stay, but yesterday, he called me STUPID, over the phone and that i should get out, he doesn't want to see me ever again. Please, what do i do?
ReplyDeleteHe said you should get and you ask what you should do? Is he God? It means get out cos whatever you get from him after that is your fault. Make a choice. He is not the last walking male on the surface of the earth. Or have you mortgaged your life to him. One day his mum won't be there to help you sort things out. Put value on yourself and he will value you.
DeleteSee mumu question u re asking. Pls what is wrong with our ladies? most of u don't use ur brain anymore. Ur boyfriend called u big fool means he don't have respect for u,he called u stupid u should leave him for GOOD. That guy will kick the hail out of u if u continue to stay with him. U should see the sign.
DeleteWhat kind of silly question is dis???? Big fool,,stupid......only u with all dis qualifications,,,,,STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND ADD VALUE TO URSELF.....
DeleteUr bf kicked u in the face? Whaaaaaaat? I hope when u get out of the shock u intend to start making elaborate on how to give him DOSES of his own medicine? If u go back to to that guy,ure the greatest imbecile that ever walked the face of the earth.
ReplyDeleteStella, the new look on your page rocks. I started reading your blog with the first diaries of DV you had. Just to compliment that you are good and matured. Of course you are not perfect but keep up the good work. Happy new year to you and I hope this year is better than the last and I hope we all achieve our dream of being better people.
ReplyDeleteYes I said it and will say it again!!!! 'Has the complainant tried prayers???'A won oshi!!! Go on and criticize my comment without offering ur advice on the issue at hand.
ReplyDeleteHmmm! Funny how the same mouth u re using to suggest prayer is d same mouth u re using to call ppl "awon Oshi".... Na wa for u ooh.
DeleteSha make up ur mind on who u will serve. U can't sit on d fence!!