Hmm one mans meat is really another's poison,we got a blog visitor mail of a lady who says Hubby does not want sex and she has mailed me a follow up saying it has gotten worse....now the reverse is the case for this male blog visitor....his wife will hear nothing of sex and he is almost at the point where he either cheats on her or opts out of the marriage....he is using this medium because she reads this blog and your advice might help save what is left of his marriage.
Let's do it!
Dear SDK,
I would have to remain anonymous in this mail because my wife is a regular reader of your blog. She practically worships you . This is also why i want to use this medium to reach out to her through constructive and mature advice from your blog readers.
My story is simple but i am sure it is common in many marriages in nigeria. My wife and i DONT HAVE REGULAR SEX.
Infact you could almost call it a sexless marriage. It wasnt always like this. prior to marriage the sex was great. After marriage i have to say i feel like she deceived me with sex before we got married. Im always the one beginning moves to have sex and most times she turns me down.
When she manages to initiate sex moves stella she does it simply as a duty/chore so that i wont say she doesnt come to me for sex. I have tried everything from encouraging her to see a sex therapist, to watching porn, to doing chores for her in the house, romantic trips...all to no avail. I AM FRUSTRATED.
She forbids me to masturbate if i can and even worse she doesnt like porn. And no she is no born-again christian. I am well endowed and trust me i know how to use my tool properly. It has never been a problem in my previous relationships. Infact she even complains that i like sex too much and i last too long. How can that be a bad thing? If i was a one minute man now problem for de. She doesnt have any ailments and her reproductive organs are all intact to the best of my knowledge. So i have just concluded that she is deliberately being lazy and nonchalant towards our sex life.
Please ask your blog visitors to share their experience with me and if they have solutions to my problem.
we have been married for one year and we do not have children. We both live and work in Abuja and money isn't our issue and we have a steward who cooks and does ALL the domestic work in our house.
I am already getting tired of the whole marriage and i may either opt out or resort to finding sex elsewhere because i am also tired of talking to her about this problem yet she does not change.
Tomorrow now if i cheat on her women will say "all men are dogs and pigs" but truth be told, some women frustrate their men into cheating and i may be one of such men if we continue at this rate. She doesnt talk about sex, she almost never initiates sex move, sex isnt so important to her and she thinks we have a perfect sex life despite all my complaints.
I'm beginning to think she is either cheating or she is a lesbian in denial because this whole scenario no longer makes sense to me.
SDK Please help a brother out. I'm BEGGING YOU IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS to please post this on your blog and lets comments come in. It may just save what is left of my marriage.
Thanks Stella D koko Of life. Thanks''
*Lol at the might name of Jesus!
*Madam,Hubby says you read this blog,that means when you see this story,you will know its for you abi?
Please read the mature advice you will get and save what is left of your marriage if you are still interested.
Good luck Mr Loverman
Lemme wait for the MATURED READERS to comment while hoping that Mrs would state her side of the story.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same situation, just the other way round. Now I'm beginning to reason beyond. Just one last chance and I'm out. It's frustrating.
DeleteI'm a woman and experiencing the same thing in marriage. The problem might be that u last too long in bed. I have discussed this with my husband too but he won't come to my level, therefore I avoid sex a lot. I only have sex when I'm ovulating and that's because we are waiting on The Lord for the fruit of the womb. Try talking to her to find out why she's no longer interested in sex.
DeleteI hope u are not my husband o. If not......
Dear blog poster!
DeleteI get wet when am talking to my guy and he looks straight into my eyes...my knees weaken, I become helpless and I beg for mercy. And this is how natural it is with women who love their men, am sorry, she never loved you, she only wanted the world to zsee that she too is married....or to 'prove' to her haters that you did not dump her.
Don't waste anymore time....if there is no love, there is no love! Divorce or you take it to the Lord in prayers.
Divorce and marry u shey?? Lol
DeleteLil miss sunshine a million likes for ur comment joor
DeleteTeni its u n its ur hubby. U had beta talk thinqs over wif ur hubby b4 u loose him. Wat do u mean he last too lonq? Wetin women dey qo babalawo place 4. U hv on a plater of qold n u r bastardizinq. I am sure u don't want dat marriaqe cos if u do u won't b here sayinq wat u r sayinq.
DeletePoster, do you like the know fact. Yes, you are not doing it right. Is not by huge dick and lasting longer than normal. Most ladies, I mean large % want more foreplay than penetration. So the foreplay has to be dynamic, creative with alacrity. Also with your over 70 mins penetration, you have to stylish. Let me give you a hint or any man, if you truly doing it right, your woman will initiate next time. She might even voice out or seduce you. So, discuss with your wife amicably. Let her voice out her heart and you need to do a lot workings.
DeleteHmmm, oya ova to SDK readers with mature advice.
ReplyDeleteCheck my own out here
http://EarnActivity.com/index.php?share=5799
Maybe you ve sex like its an Olympics track and field event. Women don't want to be pounded for hours on end! Imagine thrusting for 65mins! If you re trying to be a true life porn star,just know that those scenes were shot over many days and edited to look like it happened in 15mins.Most humans are wired to love making love,so I am doubly convinced your wife's defence would make our heads spin. In addition,I hope I am not ahead of myself when I ask if you re good at foreplay? That is if you bother with that preliminary at all.what if you don't kiss good? What if your personal hygiene is questionable?what if you are vagina shy(no fingering or tongue action)?My bro,search yourself.If you ve covered all grounds,then am afraid,your wife may as well be frigid.if she doesn't want to work on it,you may ve to find life outside her space.No one has the right to impose unhappiness on the other in the name of Marriage!
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: this is serious ooo. I am not married yet bt I hope to benefit from people's advice so that when I eventually marry I put it in practice. My little advice to Madame pls change. Enjoy sex and if there is something u don't like about your hubby's sex technique pls tell him. If there is some thing u like him to do to u tell him too.
DeleteDear Poster if this Anon 11:03am is ur wife,d prob here is psychological,emotional n mental. She says sex wif u hurts like mad.
DeleteLol I got a gf who ran from one dude that wanted to marry her then cos she complained to us,sex wif him hurts. Wot I don't understand Madam,is y d sex suddenly started hurting like mad since u had a taste of it b4 getting married to him.Is there sth u r not telling us? Pls have it @d back of ur mind,ur d woman make ur marriage work. That dude can easily move on n marry anoda woman,buh it isn't so easy for women_talk with him n u need to really buckle up spiritually. Wot if ds is a plot d enemies wanna use in destroying ur home? Nne shine ur eyes oh!
Oga,u must have hurt ds woman so badly_check wella! Cos we are turned off when dudes do certain things n most times u may never know how much dat lil thing(u fink itz lil sha)u did hurts a woman. U guys need to talk! If talking doesn't work,u could go to a counsellor and that should be done urgently.
I Luv this comment, 100% right
DeleteThis woman, u beta repent and start givibg ur husband his right in de bedroom. Tomorrow now u go say ur husband don cheat or born outside. U should be thanking ur stars for having such a perfect and patient man.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very serious matter ooo,when I got married sex became a problem cos I lost my first child I had to fuck my hubby so much that I just wanted a baby so bad n thank God I became pregnant after that having sex with became a problem he kept complaining that he did preferred his girlfriend of b4 2his wife,he was referring 2mi cos when we were dating our sex life was so wonderful but we got married everything just got dead,he went as far 2call family meetings this lingered 4long I push him out he started ve girlfriends,threesom infact it became unbearable when I got him he dnt even feel remorseful of wat he did rather he told mi I'm the cause of everything, right now I married to him wit no Love no trust I'm tired family say I should try n work tinz out my dear madam ur marriage is still young try n work it out with ur man
DeleteU need to talk to yo man! He should fear God o!!! 3some!!! Cheii!!! Madam na u cause am shaaa... u guys need a therapist 2 save Ur marriage
DeleteMy dear she's a lesbian! Sex is very important in marriages n if u dnt sex her how will she conceive....i knw 2 married women who are lesbians dey don't care abt sex wiv their hubby dey only hv galfrnds n dey invite dem over once their hubby goes to work,u shud talk to her! ask het questions like......is she tired of u? do u stink? Do u hv a bad breathe? Is ur dick too big? Or probably she's circumcised cos most circumcised ladies hate or do not enjoy sex....be sure! so u dnt get depressed! I wish u all d best in ur marriage.
ReplyDeleteI'm also in a sexless relationship. I don't find my partner attractive again, most times I pray that he comes quickly necks I feel irritated with his touch.
DeleteLol,we are on the same ship, boring and irritating.
Delete1 Corinthians 7:2
ReplyDeleteBut cos of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should hav his own wife and each woman her own husband.d husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Poster why are u stressing yourself over what is urs?
She's your property.
Stop doing like a small pikin.
Grab dat waist and grind it till you're satisfied.
It's ur right!
Don't let no one tell u otherwise.
#Mamiesaysso
V bad advice, this is RAPE!
DeleteI officially love tou@m-amie..#nohono.. Even with some of your comment which I term funny,I still come to the conclusion that you know your bible.
DeleteMama ibeji,how're my adorable twins?God bless you all
Delete@ Qutie, this is not M-amie. Is her alter ego. I gues we will see more of the alter ego 2day.
DeleteM-amie !!! You have changed, thank God!! Please don't mess up no more, abeg you, biko, luv your comments, love you.
DeleteU are rapist waiting to manifest!!!! That's if u haven't started manifesting!!! Ode!
DeleteLOlz @m-amie you're so funny. Lmao @Grab dat waist and grind it till you're satisfied.
DeleteAnyway.i live in abj also and i can help her take care of her man.#just kiddn.#madam.beta use ur head.how many men wud even try to make dis kind.of effort.if anyrhing shld happpen to ur marriage and u come here to complain,we will devour u.
ReplyDeleteWas abt 2 say d same thg ooo!!!! D woman should fear God!!! Else abuja gehs wld help her to fear God!!
DeleteE ni to Lori o ni fila Hmmmmmmm na wa ooo.while some ppl are looking for that guy dat wld marry dem and av all d. qualities of a good wife.u here doin any Hw with the ones God has given u.women sometimes ar the cause of their own misfortune.even if may u don't like d sex or something then talk to him abt it.make amends now before u loose ur husband to anoda lady.a word is enuff for the wise.
ReplyDeletemadam please save your marriage and grant your husband his wishes and if there is something wrong do let him know so that you too can resolve and make the marriage last.
ReplyDeleteThis one's difficult... maybe poster needs to sit n have a heart to heart talk wiv his woman n make her understand sex is vital in marriage n if she isn't down wiv it, she shud give him permission to find it else where... so when he starts getting gratification outside, she wouldn't cry foul... wish u both happiness in ur marriage
ReplyDeleteYou are a fool.didn,t you here him say he has tried talking to her about it.miss special adviser.
DeleteWow! The way you guys abuse peeps on this blog is not funny at all. Goes a long way to show the kinda upbringing u had. What in God's name did she say to warrant the word "fool" from you? N to think she might even be older than you. Please get a grip of yourself...EEE!!!
DeleteAs in eh! D insults on somebody u don't know n maybe u will never get 2 meet on issues dat don't concern u sef. I tire walahi.
Delete@anon 10:16am. Why the insult nau? It doesn't worth it.
DeleteIt's too early for all this na! Just 1 year and she's gone off sex! What will then happen when the kids start coming and household and life responsibilities increase? I do hope she reads peoples' views here and has a change of heart. Sex is a very important part of marriage.
ReplyDeleteSex is not about how big the dick....am sure she dosnt CUM and dats y she feels wats the need 4 sex...trust me, no woman dat CUMs will not want sex wif her man, so ma advice, talk to her, ask her wat she wants, how she wants it....all will be well, I also av dat same probm wif ma Hubby and he dosnt even care, so I must say she's lucky to av You. Work on ur marraige bro
ReplyDeleteSo, in essence, you "come"?
DeleteBiko nu, how many women in the house "come"?
In all my life of having sex, I have never "come" but I must tell you that my exes and even my now and forever husband think I always "come" and even go farther to ask me how come I didn't "come" whenever I'm too bored to fake it.
Maybe I should just come out and tell MDH the truth.
Ps- oh yes, I know the feeling of "coming" and I "come" everytime I masturbate but stopped doing that because I view it as some kind of perverse act God will frown upon should I see his face while at it so I've totally abstained.
I totally agree with anon 9:38,you guys shld talk about it and d husbAnd should device means of making his wife enjoy sex,which will increase her interest,cos I was like that too til my hus got hold of my mumu button*wink*. Secondly I think you should find out if ur wife stiLl love u or device means to ignite the fire of ur love cos wen d love temperature is high she will melt even b4 u touch her...........pretty T
DeleteMy dear, beg him to go down and gv u head, he should blow/rub d clits while he is on it. Walahi! U wil come bk wit testimony. Lolz
DeleteMr poster Let her teach you what and how to excite her in bed!
DeleteAbeg I need d advice too ooh...started hving sex with my hubby of a year.got pregnant immediately(i was still trying to get a hang of it) n was asked to stay off sex..now I hv given birth n trying my best to be "sexful"lol..hes a good lover,bt I hvnt gotten there yet plus d stitch I got n d fact dat my vag still feels like it's d ist time..pls Qutie n others I feel hv an interesting sex life..i need ur candid advice on what to do n hw to spice it up(guys I knw my clitoris was smhw tampered wif..a lil.means I was circumcised(in a hospital),i confronted my mom,i was born in d eighties,shocking right?*covers face*..PS:Qutie I was going to pull ur Val stunt,bt my lil baby was in d way of my best laid plans..when I read ur val story,even tho urs was upscale,i was like shit!smone beat me to it..lol
DeleteOk girl hear dis "only 25% of women cum thru penetrative sex". So dere's nothing wrong wit u. I hv neva experienced orgasm from sex. Foreplay matters a lot a guy can play wit ur clitoris n go down on u till u come b4 d main act 4 himself. Conversation is key n if u hv an open minded hubby better. I had a bf I tried 2 tell I had never cum by penetrative sex he tot I was joking cos he is really gud so I dropped it. Men generally shld pleasure deir women, make sure she cums b4 u proceed. Sum positions help 2 stimulate d clit.
Delete@anon 4:16,aww,I beat you to it.. As for your sex life. Heal. Let the wound heal then try and get your mojo back. Just make sure you tell oga to go in small small so as not to hurt you,cos you would be soo tight now.
Deletego slow and steady first round then second round you cab be the tigress and ride him wild.
Tnx @ 5:08 n Qutieee! Noted!i want to do my best,guess am learning from the stories I read here daily.*hugs*
DeleteWomen sha. Then they will say all men cheat. The wife is very lucky to have such a tolerant husband. How will they have children when she doesnt give him sex? Na wa for naija sha. My advice is simple. Either get a divorce or cheat. Your husband wants to be faithful yet you dont want to give him sex and neither should he cheat or masturbate!??????? That na craziness na. Abegi
ReplyDeleteEhya the man is really pained, what will be ur excuse madam? because women are quick to defend themselves by saying after all the day's work and house chores they are so tired that when they hit the bed sex is the last thing on their mind, but here oga stated that they have a steward.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she isn't into you anymore, the passion is dead or she's in love with an Ex, or she's a lesbian, look for a way to revive the passion, talk to her, tell her at this rate you might either cheat or end it because u can't continue in a sexless marriage. Its a SIN(at least the bible condemns it) and an abomination(in some cultures) for a woman to deny the man his conjugal rights. All the best Dear, you sound like a perfect man in Every sense hehehehe, some women have it all good that they don't appreciate what they have anymore after the man has made a honest woman out of them, after marriage if u know what u did that got him "hooked" don't stop doing it ejoo, infact! That's when u need to do more to keep him at home.
Anonymous 9;9, how can u conclude that she is a lesbian?
ReplyDeleteI ve been married 4 5yrs, at first our sexlife was grt, almost every day we were at it...
i had n lost a baby the next after our wedding, my hubby xter chged towards me, complains of every little thing, i confronted him, he said woman give me a child thats all I asked of u, I didnt reply him but i was/still hurt ...
the nxt yr, God blessed me with a boy, he became lovely n all but that statement has not stop hurting me...
after 2 yrs, God gave me a gal, he wants a boy, he wasn't dat happy and I don't care...
I over heard him telling his friends that he wants 3boys, dat if i don't he ll get it somewhere else n i don't care...
Because of the hurt i feel, the sex became rubbish, no intimacy nothing, n he doesn't care, now for over 8m we ve not and each time i feel d urge n remember him, the urge disappears ...
I'm just in the marriage cos of my kids n wat people ll say ..
so please don't conclude, at poster, sit her down n discuss, there might be something wrong ...
Madam, you just have to forgive your husband. You are the one hurting yourself, not him. Don't lose your home over an issue he doesn't even remember
DeleteOluyomi Odukoya
Oluyomi ,you are very stupid for telling Jethro forget.
DeleteWoman set youself free from that prison by forgiving your husband and please learn to keep a healthy communication between you and your husband.
Delete@Anonymous 9:42AM, You cannot hold someone down without having to stay down with them,it's so IMPOSSIBLE!! Learn to forgive even the Lord's Prayer says it all "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass againt us! Do not let the spirit of unforgiveness hold/stop your God given blessings from coming to you. Indeed THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS IS UNDERRATED. May God heal your heart & heal your marriage IJN(Amen)!
DeleteI feel sorry for my husband too. No sex for him since I got pregnant. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Maybe after my first trimester It WLd get better. Pls anyone else had this problem
ReplyDeletePlease wait till after your first trimester before having sex. When you are about 4months plus that's between 17-20,you can resume you sex life again..
DeleteI'm 35 weeks pregnant and the last thing on my mind is sex. DH has come to accept it, and I used to love sex like crazy in the past
DeleteWhy should she wait for a whole four month!,if she is healthy she can , sex in pregnancy can be hyper sweet for some you know
DeleteI havnt had sex since i got preggers, i am now 15 weeks preggers. My hubby has only been arund for a week since the day i got preggers. He did not even try to sex me cuz all i do it vomite and he had to take me hospital. The next time i will see my hubby i will be 20 weeks plus. I am glad tbh but my hubby does not ask for sex i am the one always asking because he says he did not marry me for sex. He is also scared he will hurt the baby if we have sex which is very good and i will not change that midset because i know sex will not hurt the baby but i will not tell him that. Hehe as i dey i dont want to see any dick biko
DeleteMy dear I did the same with my ex , by the time I had d baby he had found satisfaction in other women. It lead to d break up for us. In my next marriage I can never let thid happen. The two things that destroy homes is finance and sex. Ladies should alwayd put thid in check.
Delete@anon 3:14,its good to stay away from sex for the first month. The baby is still trying to implant itself well into the womb plus its more in a blood form.. From four months,when you go for scan,its already looking like a human with skin et all... But in first trimester,any jiggling can cos miscarriage,but some people get away with it though
DeleteMaybe its me o,the whole time I was preggy,I was always horny. Na me dy pursue oga round house wit pant. A week to wen I gave birth I was always sittin on top.even oga go dy fear. Maayb dats d reason my dota looks like d father a lot. Lol
DeleteMaybe its me o,the whole time I was preggy,I was always horny. Na me dy pursue oga round house wit pant. A week to wen I gave birth I was always sittin on top.even oga go dy fear. Maayb dats d reason my dota looks like d father a lot. Lol
DeleteSome have food, but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food.... we have food "yet we want to throw it away" glory be to God Amen!!! - that which you seek lies within, poster please find it...your marriage is "STILL" too young to welcome third parties meddling. A marriage that is just a year old is still in the honeymoon phase. Go back and discuss with your wife.
ReplyDeleteTruly a case of some have food but can not eat. I have a sexless marriage too. In my case I am always d one making the moves while my husband of 21 yrs will sometimes reject. I know he is cheating on me big time with not just one woman but anything that comes includingmarried women whom I am prettier than. I know I am cut, hot and stll sexy. I don't know his problem and he always tries to pretend to me and make talking about sex such a taboo. Am tired and frustrated but I am born agin and can't cheat. Feel very lonely all the time and my own way of dealing eith this is to pray about him and blank him off my tots before I die b4 my time. My kids are my joy now and am trying to find self love and bury myself in something worthwhile. A passion, work or something. I really crave for a male friend I can atleast talk to all d time. Its a lonely world and I totally understand where the poster is coming from. Its too tempting but pls keep working at it am sure she will come around.
DeleteSorrry I feel ur pain
DeleteTooshmama - sending a big cyber hug your way.... may God the almighty comforter, touch your crying heart Amen. Best wishes
DeleteMy dear,
ReplyDeleteI truly understand what you are going through but you aren't alone.
The same thing IS happening to me presently and the truth is, you better check with your wife to be certain everything is ok- impress it upon her to truly go speak to a therapist.
I got married to my husband late last year, before we got married, we'd had the best sex ever- we would go 7 rounds in a day and be sated. My husband has a healthy libido and so do I, I might add.
However, the period leadinbg to our wedding and thereafter had me feeling really sharp pains in my lower abdomen and whenever he penetrated deep (which I used to really love), I'd find myself letting out a sharp, small scream and squeezing his shoulder asking that he stop or take it easy. This continued and gradually, unconciously, I begun withdrawing from sex. I have to tell you- I didn't know I was doing this until it was pointed out to me. He even got so worried, he reported me to my mum who asked me to manage. I began to do that- to manage- because I know he has needs- he always petted me after cos I was always left with a sour abdomen.
We didn't waste time getting an appointment with a sexual health clinic and after series of tests, the gp came up with Chlamydia.
I was truly surprised. Whichever way it is, my hubby and I are taking medication to combat it and I am truly looking forward to being the vixen I am.
And, no, my hubby doesn't watch porn, or masturbate or womanize- which is why I did my very best to keep him, at least, a little satisfied.
He can get like a grumpy child when he's horny (it used to make me chuckle silently at first until I realised how important this means to him) so I'd give him a bj and for the first time in both our lives, we've done the "blow and swallow"- usually when I've got my period and, I have to say, I love every bit of it cos its my husband!
Ask your wife to really tell you what is up- she isn't a lesbian as implied by some, it may be more psychological than physical.
My four cents.
Goodluck.
... And, might I add that my hubby's size which is just right suddenly started to feel too big. I suddenly started to feel he was insatiable, insensitive to my pain and discontent with what I could offer. I begun to not like cuddling (I naturally LOVE all kinds of cuddles) because once he held me, I'd feel his johnny rise to the occasion and poke my thigh like a gun. This used to even make me give a startled jump- my husband had to ask one day if it was a snake ni, lol!
DeleteDid you think I would EVER have wanted to initiate sex? To talk about it? (I was rather hoping that he would "understand that I had sharp pains" and we would hold each other, cuddle and be romantic with no mention of sex but, what type of joke is that now?) and, like your wife, I thought every was ok until my hubby told my mum who called to say that she had been informed that I wasn't performing my "wifely duties". I was so embarrassed to even be having the conversation and she even started laughing at me at some point, lol.
Do well to talk WITH (and not TO) your wife, you hear?
*sore abdomen. Plenty typos unfortunately.
Delete... And, might I add that my hubby's size which is just right suddenly started to feel too big. I suddenly started to feel he was insatiable, insensitive to my pain and discontent with what I could offer. I begun to not like cuddling (I naturally LOVE all kinds of cuddles) because once he held me, I'd feel his johnny rise to the occasion and poke my thigh like a gun. This used to even make me give a startled jump- my husband had to ask one day if it was a snake ni, lol!
DeleteDid you think I would EVER have wanted to initiate sex? To talk about it? (I was rather hoping that he would "understand that I had sharp pains" and we would hold each other, cuddle and be romantic with no mention of sex but, what type of joke is that now?) and, like your wife, I thought every was ok until my hubby told my mum who called to say that she had been informed that I wasn't performing my "wifely duties". I was so embarrassed to even be having the conversation and she even started laughing at me at some point, lol.
Do well to talk WITH (and not TO) your wife, you hear?
This is the most sensible advice/suggestion.....
DeleteThis is the most sensible advice/suggestion.....
DeleteWooow, God heal U totally and bless your home.
DeleteYes o!
DeleteDear poster, I'm almost certain she doesn't achieve orgasm with you and this has turned her off sex. Women are sensual creatures, are you the wham, bam, thank you ma'am type of man because most times is not about being endowed oo.
ReplyDeleteHave you eva tried oral sex on her or are u the kind of man that feels sucking a woman is degrading? Believe me, if ur woman always cums during sex, you will be the one running cos she will hunt you eeh.
That's why HEADmasters stay winning
If this letter doesn't help, leave, don't cheat. You risk STDs if you cheat.
ReplyDeleteSince we assume both of u will read the comments, my suggestion is in two parts. For the hubby: are u sure she enjoy sex without u? There is a difference between sex and love making. Do u guys make love? You might be endowed & last long but is it enjoyable or is the whole thing painful on her part? Do u know if she had ever experience ogarsm with u? Does she loves fondling, cuddling & fingering more than ur penis? How do u approach her for sex? When do you demand sex? U said prior to now ur sex life was great so what went wrong? What will make her become a lesbian along the way as u assumed since intially sex was 'great'? I believe from what u said u have talked WITH her not TO her. Be a little more patient if all the answers to the above questions are positive. Let me shift to her side. Hi wifey, what happened? Is there anything putting u off? Is he having sex with u not love making? Is it boring and painful? Do u have vaginismus? Do u communicate with ur hubby? He sounds like an understanding person, talk with him & tell him what sex means to you. Be open he is ur hubby. Don't be shy in bed, relax feel good with urself don't feel threatened maybe by what he tells u about his former lovers. Be open minded, learn new styles, experiment with ur body. Pamper urself, dress neatly & smart be confident iin bed it is not an exam or interview, relax start with a warm bath, light meal, relaxing music, enough of foreplay then let go but guiding him to ur sensitive spots and u will crave for more. If it is an organic vaginismus, go see a doc & u will be ok. If ur hubby's approach is crude, he has body odour, he is over confident these are modifiable, dialogue with him & ur marriage and love life will be enjoyable. But if there is another thing u can't change tell the man go ur seperate ways & remain friends. Marriage is for the matured minds blc e no easy oh! Wishing u guys all the best
ReplyDeleteI would have thought talking WITH her is what matters and not talking TO her.... Talking WITH her stipulates that they're both exchanging views,talking TO her states that he's the one doing all the talking.
DeleteSex is not about having a big dick and staying longer. My hubby has a big dick but he hurts me with it, he stays longs and keeps going till I get dry and I start to pilling. He is too egocentric to even accept his fault and find my gspot. He thinks he is the best but he is d worst thing I have ever had. I will rather not have sex with him that kil my moral, I v never even come close to orgasm not to talk of having one, and he feels on top of the world ..soon annoying. So dear mr poster, u might be doing something wrong, do you have body/mouth odour? Think about it .. You are the major problem and try to communicate with her, something is wrong somewhere!!!!
ReplyDeleteSex is not about having a big dick and staying longer. My hubby has a big dick but he hurts me with it, he stays longs and keeps going till I get dry and I start to pilling. He is too egocentric to even accept his fault and find my gspot. He thinks he is the best but he is d worst thing I have ever had. I will rather not have sex with him that kil my moral, I v never even come close to orgasm not to talk of having one, and he feels on top of the world ..soon annoying. So dear mr poster, u might be doing something wrong, do you have body/mouth odour? Think about it .. You are the major problem and try to communicate with her, something is wrong somewhere!!!!
ReplyDeleteShe married you to answer MRS. She has achieved it and the rest can as well be history. I beg to differ only when madam comes with her own side of the story.
ReplyDeleteI think you guys should talk to a sex therapist or a marriage counsellor. Maybe she doesn't enjoy sex with you and she's become frustrated.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd be interested in some products to help spice things up you should check out www.sallyrue.com
Hmmm. It's a tricky one. Sex becoming like a chore in a marriage is something many people experience. I think it could be because many women have unrealistic expectations of marriage. I live in Abj and I know that many ladies don't realise realise what they r getting into before they get married. In a city where u have many posers and more bling than substance. By the time u enter the house and realise that ei nor be as u bin think se ei go be and ur single friends are still globetrotting on other men's tabs resentment can start setting in. Also, maybe things were really hot and romantic before marriage and after signing the dotted lines, they both started expecting things as 'rights' and not because they love each other. That change can be devastating esp because the changes are so subtle that u wake up one day and wonder who u r with. Secondly and most importantly, GUYS! I don't understand y u think it is ok to keep going at it for 30 mins, 1 hour etc! Seriously! It isn't fun and believe me most often than not, after the 7-10 minute mark, it becomes a chore! Going foreva doesn't make u anymore the man than u already are. Instead, it dries out ur woman and bruises her terribly! Sometimes it could even lead to increased levels over discharge. Work on ur timing! 10 mins. Make it sweet. Keep her wanting more. U can do 4 times in a day. Try and reanalyse ur position and take it from there. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your comment:).
DeleteBest comment. Abuja is so full of bogus lifestyles/people and a lot are carried away by the flashes of luxury and pretence. Marriages in abuja are as fake as their lifestyles except the few mature ones.
Delete10,000 likes for this comment! Going on and on doesn't make it better!
DeleteHmmm. It's a tricky one. Sex becoming like a chore in a marriage is something many people experience. I think it could be because many women have unrealistic expectations of marriage. I live in Abj and I know that many ladies don't realise realise what they r getting into before they get married. In a city where u have many posers and more bling than substance. By the time u enter the house and realise that ei nor be as u bin think se ei go be and ur single friends are still globetrotting on other men's tabs resentment can start setting in. Also, maybe things were really hot and romantic before marriage and after signing the dotted lines, they both started expecting things as 'rights' and not because they love each other. That change can be devastating esp because the changes are so subtle that u wake up one day and wonder who u r with. Secondly and most importantly, GUYS! I don't understand y u think it is ok to keep going at it for 30 mins, 1 hour etc! Seriously! It isn't fun and believe me most often than not, after the 7-10 minute mark, it becomes a chore! Going foreva doesn't make u anymore the man than u already are. Instead, it dries out ur woman and bruises her terribly! Sometimes it could even lead to increased levels over discharge. Work on ur timing! 10 mins. Make it sweet. Keep her wanting more. U can do 4 times in a day. Try and reanalyse ur position and take it from there. Good luck
ReplyDeletethere are 3 sides to a story i'll like to hear her own side. check you don't have MO, Bo and what not. Until i hear her side i can't comment.
ReplyDeleteHmm, you said you have only been married one year?..hmm, you also said your dick is big, now, just because you have a big dick dose mean you know how to use it for her pleasure instead of her pain. You two are going to sit down and have a real talk. I feel she is cheating. my opinion. Marriage without sex?!..hmm.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby nd i didn't have sex before marriage so we were pratically learning for d first year of our marriage. We argued alot but resorted to communication. We talked about it well nd made adjustments nd decided to ve sex every 2 days. (One day on, one day off) except ofcourse we both want it.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I trying to pass across? Talk about it, find her fears is it painful, does she find it as a chore. Dear poster never allow a third party in your home, u may think sex is a simple thing, no its not cuz its very important in a marriage. I leave God in your home..
Forgive typos please train driver is a bit tipsy dis morning d train just dey shake.
Half of nigerian girls are chronic lesbians. Even the so called married ones, so won't be surprised if she is a lesbain.
ReplyDeleteAnyways poster you too check your self.How is your character and attitude towards her. Try and talk to her about it, that doesn't work. I will suggest an open marriage. .
CeeCee
How do you know this ?
DeletePls u are making no point, u need more exposure.
DeleteMay be she married you because of your money and she is not in love with him. One year and she is already tired of sex seems very unlikely especially if she loved sex with him when they were dating. Poster you need to talk to her and observe her to know what she really likes. Continue to be patient with her breaking up with her or seeking assistance outside will not pay in the long run.
ReplyDeleteMagical Eyes
She's Lez hiding behind being married.
ReplyDeleteChai! Can you and my fiance exchange sex drive? Imagine that he paid for a suprise ticket for me to come from london to lagos for valentines week, I spent 1week in lagos and had sex just 2times with him? He has refused to acknowledge that this shit is a problem, this is someone I've not seen since december. So the first two days I came into lagos my period was still on, and he was not bothered, I kept asking is this not bothering you? And he gives me this stupid "I don't love or miss you becos of sex" I knw, but sex is important too! I had to break down into tears like serious tears wailing and screaming and all before my bobo could have sex with me on vals day, I googled all the libido enhancing food, he doesn't eat them! Lay off the fucking milk sweetie, he will say I'm overreacting, recall that I came here in dec asking what to do for my fiance's libido. And was given some advices, when we went to say hi to his mom and she was asking me to spend the night, oga refused oo, for my mind I thought why the hell do you even need me there? Mtchew! abeg my case is weird jare! I had to threaten to leave him if he does not admit to this problem and allow us find a problem. On the bright side he's visiting me in three weeks and he upgraded my engagement ring. Abeg I'm in transit jare! Back to gloomy gloomy london.
ReplyDeletePoster is a very patient man I swear...Poster try and find out why ur wife doesn't like sex and see if anything can be done
ReplyDeleteWoman pls fuck ur man.many Ladies are willing to help u wf that
poster am not impressed with your comments one bit....some men think they can treat their wives anyhow then sex is automatic....have u sat her down to genuinely find out what her problems are? am sure not yet you are concluding she is either a lesbian or cheating? is it not your duty to help her through whatever is the problem and you think u have a right to go cheat outside....no you do not have that license.....i also do not understand even all the stupid women here talking rubbish about him going to cheat cos of the sex issue....if it was the woman who brought her problem here will you advise her to go and cheat......you do not run away to cheat on your spouse cos there is a problem, you are meant to look for a solution together.....am sorry from your post you are very selfish and its all about you you you......this is just his own part of the story so you cannot conclude what u dont know.....you do not deserve any special award for not cheating yet cos adultery is not your birthright as a man, nothing perfect or patient about here.....society and the stupid african tradition has programmed you into that thinking......you have problems in your marriage sit down and resolve it with your wife like a man......stella is not God for you to bring your matter here and be begging her in the name of Jesus to post....it is not only women who are meant to pray and seek the face of God about issues..if you truly love your wife then go to the one who has all the answers...
ReplyDeleteThank you anon 10:58 for saying my mind. I read this post almost immediately Stella posted it but I was so angry at the poster that I didn't feel like commenting then.
Delete@Poster, you sound like a very proud and selfish and arrogant person, typical of most African husbands. Lemme tell you, marriage is not a child's play. It requires a lot of hard work, dedication,tolerance, understanding, trust and patience. You encounter a lot of challenges in marriage and how you handle it make you a real man or woman. It is your duty to help your partner when she is going through a phase like this not concluding that she is a lesbian or planning to cheat or divorce(and later you wonder why marriages don't last these days). You have no rights to think of cheating talk more of actually cheating because the day you got married to her was the day you signed up to be with her for BETTER for WORSE.
Good communication is key in every successful marriage, sit your dear wife down and gently ask her what made her change. That you last long or have a massive IRON dick does not mean she enjoys sex with you. You might actually be hurting her with her tool.
You enjoyed sex with her before because then you took your time to please her in bed but once you got married to her, you now feel sex with her is your right so you stopped making any efforts to please her in bed (she is human remember). That is the reason why you are in this mess.
Please if you know how you use to make love to her before you got married, start again. Become her friend, listen to her, encourage her to tell you what she wants you to do to her,keep yourself clean, be gentle and romantic. Make sure you have a lot of foreplay to get her in the mood before you penetrate. Most importantly,PRAY together. Hand your marriage over to God. Ask for his grace, his wisdom and understanding.
The earlier you remove the thoughts of cheating or divorce from your mind and focus on making your marriage work, the better for you. There is no guarantee that the next woman you will marry won't act like her or worse and if you cheat you are not only risking your health, you will also be making God very angry with you.
Remember that after this life, we all will give account to God.
OGA WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE! GOODLUCK.
THANK YOU nELLY AND Nali
ReplyDeletea big dick doesn't mean jack
since you brought our issue here
I don't enjoy sex with you period!!!
it hurts like mad
Easy dear.
DeleteIt hurts like mad- then why did you not tell him? Or did you?
Don't just write it off as, "I do not enjoy sex with you"- since when? And why? See?
Something must have off-set the feelings of distaste or disinterest you are presently feeling (sexually).
Do you, now, not see the need to REALLY talk about this and get some help?
I really think a good medical check-up should suffice.
Like I said, it could be more psychological than physical.
Goodluck.
Hahahahahaha...are you for real? Or is someone just playing pranks with us? If you are, please talk to your husband about how you feel...make him understand what is going on with you. Tell him what to do to get you in the mood again. And just so you'd know, sex with you became his right the day you signed the dotted line n vice versa so quit acting like a little child. And to you poster, you have to be patient and also check your personal hygiene that could also be an issue. You guys should just talk your issues over...EEE!!!
DeleteU r a very foolisH woman. Sorry 2say. D big dick was jack b4 marriage n all of a sudden it isn't? D hell u fucking outside ur marriage I can swear on that. @ poster stop wasting ur tym on dis prostitute u hv @ home she is doing it outside with other men.
DeleteOMG,seriously?are you really the poster's wife?Pls don't do this.why is there so much anger in your statement?whatever it is he did to you,pls let go.Don't let it ruin your marriage.I 've a feeling its deeper than the sex.Look back and picture the things that made you fall in love with him in the 1st place.Re-ignite your love.Talk to him.I don't support talking to people or in-laws cos believe me your issues will be no 1 on their gossip timetable.I will advice that you do things you used to do before you got married.Go on romantic dates,watch movies till late with the light turned off.Drink a bottle of white wine.Just relax and let sex be the last thing on your mind.It will come to you naturally and believe me,it will be mind blowing.N.B white wine is an aphrodiasc.Above all,Pray.There is nothing impossible or too little to place before his throne of mercy.
Delete@anon8:12 dat was harsh,U dnt knw wat d woman might be going thru....
DeleteAnon 9:42 biko try and talk thgs over wit oga. B4 it gets out of hand. God heal every crack. Mr poster try and get madam talking. There may be sth wrong. Cheers. #Belle
ReplyDeleteall you people saying she is a lesbian are total and absolute idiots.....
ReplyDeleteUre! Well done with your comment, Nothing else for me to add.
ReplyDeleteNaija men need to seriously deal with their mouth odor, it is really sickening.
ReplyDeleteIts a huge turn off
I have loads of male FRIENDS and more than half of them have stinking mouths
Pls what with the epidemic, I understand I have a sensitive nose that picks much but whats a girl to do?
Once YOU have MO or BO thats pretty much it…. can't deal.
people its not about brushing alone pls try and floss and see what comes out or better still smell the residue
PUUUUKES!!!
Most guys who have MONTH have cavities and holes in their teeth that need cleaning and filling, hence the smell but then, Nigerians aren't too dentition-aware, are they?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMy husband does not have smelly mouth. His morning breath smells like a baby that has been breast fed all night but my own can kill. This is a man that refused to brush his teeth for years when he was younger o.
DeleteIts to early to start complaining of sex. You both need to sit down and talk some more. Communication is the key. Its not all about having a big dick or staying long. Some people have short dicks but can make a woman wail,while some stay for a short time but make it memorable.
ReplyDeleteThen again you need to ask her if it hurts,cos she might be hurting but not say anything. She might be hurting in her abdomen because of the way you thrust in and out of her or she could be bruised from your staying long and not minding if she is wet or dry.
there is a difference between love making and sex,which one are you doing? Do you just expect her to go into the mood with you because you are in the mood or do you do all necessary tricks to get her in the mood?
Sit down and talk to her. Talk and talk until it produces a result.Make it easy for her to confide in you,that way,she would tell you her real fears. I don't think she's a lesbian because you said you had great sex life before now.
madam,please open up and tell hubby what is wrong. Do not let this break your hone. Sex is very important in every marriage,lack of sex makes the marriage prone to so many disaster. The heart connects more when there is lots of sex. Sex is good please. Do not deny your husband his rights.. Do not make sex a chore. Do not have any resentments in your hrt for him cos that can make you not want to have sex
Poster,another thing that could be wrong is if ur family is too involved in ur marriage,if her in laws r on her case n not letting her be herself n u r not doing anything about it,then u ave a BIGGER problem than u think,find out where ur problem is coming from n fix it.
ReplyDeleteDear Poser, lemme begin by saying "People get married for different reasons," most especially ladies, ladies get married mostly not because they love and understand their partner and would love to spend the rest of their life with him "IN ALL CONDITIONS OF LIFE" but because their peers are getting married or because they are tired of people asking "when are u getting married?" Some even get married for marrying sake just for people to call them married and to bear the "Mrs" title, thereby getting married when they are not ready or prepared to stay married. But marriage is beyond all that, if you're not prepared for it you can't start preparing in it!
ReplyDelete@Poster I understand what is going on with your wife and if she's truthful to herself, she'll find herself in either one of the category of ladies I mentioned above. She might have married you for the wrong reason and now that the whole excitement of "I'm getting married" has waned off she's beginning to take it on you by denying you your conjugal rights.
My advice for you is for both of you to see a counsellor, or better still talk to her mum or closest sister(there are things she could share with them sometimes that she can't share with you), let them ask her what her problem is with you or sex with you, how does she really feel about you now? does she still feels same about you now like it was before marriage or she can't find the "sparks" anymore? Though its not always advisable to invite a third party into your marriage but trust me, it works sometimes, there may be some things bothering her that she feels she can't tell you in order not to hurt ur feelings, but she could share with her mum or sister. That way you may find solutions.
And pls @Poster, seeking sex outside marriage is not a solution here, you don't know what the devil has kept outside your marriage waiting to destroy you and your home, not only that, your relationship with God matters most too. Pls don't take that path.
Finally, remember to always pray, not just alone but together, it bonds you too together.
And for you, @Wife of Poster that normally read this blog, your body belongs to your husband and you can't deny him that, you may have married him for the wrong reason, but you are in this marriage now so MAKE IT WORK! You may not be getting what you thought was waiting for you in marriage now, but you are here in it already, you've got to make the most of it, trust me, there's no perfect marriage anywhere in the world but its up to you to make the one you've got perfect for yourself!
If you've got any reservation towards the way you both make love, tell your man, he is your man he can adjust 'cos based on his narrative here, he truly loves you and he's open-mind. Please stop driving this young man nut and making life hell for him by denying him is right, pride and joy as a man... yes his pride and joy cos nothing make a man proud and happy and fulfilled like a man who's having good sex from his woman, trust me am telling you from experience.
Your husband is on the verge of losing it, pls don't push him to the wall, you as a woman would not be able to stand what is coming by the time you husband start getting it from another woman. Please be wise! Thank you.
MRS S A
The truth is sex gets boring after a while, after the initial shyness and all that, I have been married for 8 years and I faked it for 4years, abeg frustration almost killed me and I was running away from him because I never ever enjoyed it, until one day I acted out my fantasy with him. He was surprised, I asked him to spank me, choke me, I used clothes peg to peg my nipples and I asked him to squeeze my ass, in fact I asked him to put his whole fingers into my pussy, it was a wild night and since then we have never had daddy and mummy lovemaking again, we fuck we don't make love anymore. You have to be really comfortable with each other, so try and talk to her and ask her what her fantasies are. You will be surprised. I love my husband and I like fucking him.
ReplyDeleteSarah J
@Poster, I'm going through the same thing right now. No your wife is not cheating and neither is she a lesbian. When I met my hubby, he couldn't have come into my life at a better time. He's the best man I' ever dated (out of 5) with the biggest shlong!!! Fast forward to now, sex with him gets me sore......very, extremely, painfully sore! And to make matters worse it takes him like 45mins to orgasim! Going from a one minute man to him....at first I was like hurray! I don hammer! Now.......I try as much as possible to avoid sex with him.....Not my fault, too painful...too long!
ReplyDeletePoster you dont know that it is cos shes hoarding it thats why the thing still dey sweet you. if to say you don yakata the thing finish na outside you go begin dey look. some Men can never be pleased abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster first of all I am dissappointed in you...just like almost all the men around, you seem to think a woman is wired as you are. You need to give her intimacy for sex, women crave intimacy and that's what prompts them to have sex. A man simply wants sex cuz he's stressed or he saw an erotic picture in the afternoon or he saw a lady's cleavage.
ReplyDeletePlease treat ur woman right and no matter the pain she feels she will give u sex any time and anywhere.
Also good sex for a woman makes her to keep coming back so don't be selfish in bed, put her needs first (in the intimate moments she will open up to tell you how she likes it)
Don't assume a big dick and lasting long is all it is! if your woman is not interested in sex with you she is simply not emotionally connected to you and its as simple as that! Pain or no pain!
Nice one
DeleteNa wa. One man's meat is indeed another man's poison. See me that married as a virgin. After the first week of marriage, my hubby stopped sleeping with me. I always had 2 make d moves, ask him 2 teach me, swing my waist n all that. At d end of d day, he stil went after girls. I did all I cld 2 save d marriage but he was just not interested. 2 day we are going thru a divorce after 2 years of separation. I wish I married a hubby dat loves having sex wit me. I just pray God gives me a man that truly loves me. I have not been in any relationship since. It is well.
ReplyDeleteUr hubby went out cos of ur lack of experience, some men cant deal with the virgin thing. Some men like their wives to behave like a bitch behind closed doors. Learn the proper act of bj etc. Mrs O
DeleteI'm not so sure if this is my husband but the similarities are too much to ignore.So apart from insinuating that im cheating he has added lesbianism to the list.hmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI'm guilty of some charges because sex was great before marriage.I'm sorry I used sex as a way of showing my gratitude and appreciation for what he does for me. My husband then would get me a gift or simply bring his lunch from work home for me and the next thing I'd be all over him.I'm not greedy or married to him for money.My point is the little things he does as simple as they seem meant so much to me.For a man to go to his office restaurant and sees that on the menu that day was jollof rice and pomo stew my all time favourite and instead of sitting to eat he would ask them to pack it in a pack and bring home to me.That means he had me in mind all day.
Fast forward to married life,my oga now sees sex as his birthright.Once he has an erection it doesnt matter if im in the mood or not.Now after dinner the next item on the agenda is for me to take off my clothes an lay in bed even if i've got a state of the art banging headache.Wetin my food no go digest first?My husband would penetrate into a dry vagina.Without foreplay.When I ask he would say my protocols are too much because I want a bit of smooching and fingering but he wouldn't do any of that.Once he's erect he becomes extremely impatient.If im wearing a top and a skirt he would take off the skirt leave the shirt because its where he would insert his dick that matters to him.Even if I've had a sweaty day he wouldn't let me shower first because of his impatience.I'm not dirty so nobody should suggest that I smell.
I stopped him from watching porn because after watching his expectations become too high for me.He would expect that I make love to him with my legs hanging from the ceiling forgetting that porn actresses have got directors and cast and crew to help them do those stunts.
If I introduce a new style he becomes paranoid wondering whom I've been talking to or if i learnt it from another man.Some of these things I even learn from this blog like doing kegels when he's inside me.
Stella help me ask him if he has ever given me a head?I cant even ask him because he would raise an eyebrow wondering if im now promiscous.He got a steward because I was complaining and using the chores as an excuse to get away.
the solution is simple.Obim give me time to even miss your touch and stop being selfish in bed.Sex does not end after you release.You can still make me cum after that(It has only happened once in our married life that day still dey my brain archive like im keeping it to recount the experience to my grandchildren}.
I dont initiate sex because I know already that after he eats his meals that one na the next thing.PLEASE ADVISE HIM TO BE SPONTANEOUS.
Sorry for my epistle. Dear blog visitors im not a lesbian,will never be.I love my husband to the moon and back if I have a chance to pick a partner again,I will still pick him.This bedroom matter is our only issue.Obim stop been selfish in bed and you have solved our problem.
Choi! Nawa oh. I think the idea of using sex to show appreciation during your courtship was wrong. The foundation is faulty
DeleteThis is what you have when infants get married. Whatever happens to communication between partners these days baffles me. Lemme just end here before I insult both of you...
DeleteI knew it.n he was busy givin himself accolades. Poster u r so selfish n mundane.
DeleteHmm this could have been communicated to him if he had asked her the right questions at the right time, and at the right place. But alas, though they live together, they had to get this private but vital issue across through a blog. Now poster, see where u have gone wrong? You could have done this without total strangers. But anyway you've both achieved something. Now go along and fuck silly tonight. Happy hammering.
DeleteIyawo pele. You guys should just talk. I understand you. Most men don't know what they are doing. I dated sum1 almost like ur man. He's own no kissing no touching nothing. He'll just bring out he's dick penetrate a dry vagina. Leaving me in serious pain. Sex was horrible. I used to think it was me until I started reading topics like this. Some men don't know know what they are doing. Trust me. I talked to him but he wasn't ready to change I left him jorh. I cannot come n die.happy I wasn't married to him. But in ur case u just have to work it out
DeleteA perfect description of my hubby....all he is after is penetration wether am dry ir not with dat his bug dick......e be like say dat dia big dick dey enter dem for head hence they dont care about dia women in bed.....i talked with him several times,,i pleaded,,i did all i could ...yet no changes...until i started to fight him in silence by starving him of sex.....well it got better a little......but now another issue on ground.....(story for anoda day).........*anonymous mode activated*
DeleteNo foreplay,,no kisses.....just straight to the point......Now my mind is off sex with my hubby.....and i always have to flash back with some sex memories in past relationships to get myself in the mood for him.....even wen i try initiating sex myself.....he gives a lot of excuses....sex btw us only happens wen he wants it.....and at times am just as dry as d word dry itself......my marriage will be 5yrs by may and we are still both young agewise......its really cracking me up jare.......
DeleteThe Madam has replied!!! Okay now i get u. All u mentioned above could be really frustrating i tell u. i am not married yet,but i knw how it is.Its sickening wen a man takes off only ur skirt/trousers just to insert his property like u're one robot.....hissss! 4 an active young married woman nai u deyfuck like dat? U're very timid wit ur long and iron prick.Let me tell u, wether u last from now till eternity. Wen making love if she isn't feeling u its pointless Sir! women like to be connected intimately, be soft on her, get her real wet,tell her sweet nothings,suck her boobs, touch her clit,kiss her, look in her eyes while making love. Let thre be dat soul connection mister. Oga u're very verrrry selfish, d porn u supposedly watch, don't dey do foreplay/kiss/lick pussy/suck boobs/ finger etc???? U dis me myself and i kinda sex man,Go learn diz acts then come back and repost ur experience u hear me? Stop bothering SdKers wit ur sex tales of woe pls
DeleteThe Madam has replied!!! Okay now i get u. All u mentioned above could be really frustrating i tell u. i am not married yet,but i knw how it is.Its sickening wen a man takes off only ur skirt/trousers just to insert his property like u're one robot.....hissss! 4 an active young married woman nai u deyfuck like dat? U're very timid wit ur long and iron prick.Let me tell u, wether u last from now till eternity. Wen making love if she isn't feeling u its pointless Sir! women like to be connected intimately, be soft on her, get her real wet,tell her sweet nothings,suck her boobs, touch her clit,kiss her, look in her eyes while making love. Let thre be dat soul connection mister. Oga u're very verrrry selfish, d porn u supposedly watch, don't dey do foreplay/kiss/lick pussy/suck boobs/ finger etc???? U dis me myself and i kinda sex man,Go learn diz acts then come back and repost ur experience u hear me? Stop bothering SdKers wit ur sex tales of woe pls
DeleteI can remember a guy I was dating one tym, I cmplained to him dat I don't come, guess wat he sed?.....r u a dog how can u come. Nd I was like serzly?
DeleteLet me go on anonymous..
ReplyDeleteYour problem is not new..its has been and it will alwayz be,I force myself to furk my hubby now just bcos of his character towards me.so ask ur wife if u av wronged her in anyway,am still sayin it dat until my hubby changes I will not bear him another child..wil rada go away...
Okija babbbbbby!
DeleteThe more aroused a woman is the wider and longer the vagina wall becomes which creates a softer impact of penis on cervix....guys please consider that before complaining about a womans low sex drive
ReplyDeleteBest Blog Ever!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe poster must b a responsible man nd humble enough to seek advice dt shows dt he is ready to kip his home,poster's wife pls pay attention to ur man's need some single girls re nt smiling ooo so dnt giv room for them to penetrate ur home cos u wil neva get husband bak,so nw dt u stil hav ur hom in ur hands handle it wel wit evrythin u have... nd pls gentle man try to communicate wel wit ur woman to knw wt d problem is...
ReplyDeleteIs she on birth control pills or any form of hormonal birth control? because a side effect of it is lowered libido and mood swings. If she is, then this might be her problem. Not every lady does well with hormonal drugs. Sex would become irritating for her.
ReplyDeleteDear Poser, lemme begin by saying "People get married for different reasons," most especially ladies, ladies get married mostly not because they love and understand their partner and would love to spend the rest of their life with him "IN ALL CONDITIONS OF LIFE" but because their peers are getting married or because they are tired of people asking "when are u getting married?" Some even get married for marrying sake just for people to call them married and to bear the "Mrs" title, thereby getting married when they are not ready or prepared to stay married. But marriage is beyond all that, if you're not prepared for it you can't start preparing in it!
ReplyDelete@Poster I understand what is going on with your wife and if she's truthful to herself, she'll find herself in either one of the category of ladies I mentioned above. She might have married you for the wrong reason and now that the whole excitement of "I'm getting married" has waned off she's beginning to take it on you by denying you your conjugal rights.
My advice for you is for both of you to see a counsellor, or better still talk to her mum or closest sister(there are things she could share with them sometimes that she can't share with you), let them ask her what her problem is with you or sex with you, how does she really feel about you now? does she still feels same about you now like it was before marriage or she can't find the "sparks" anymore? Though its not always advisable to invite a third party into your marriage but trust me, it works sometimes, there may be some things bothering her that she feels she can't tell you in order not to hurt ur feelings, but she could share with her mum or sister. That way you may find solutions.
And pls @Poster, seeking sex outside marriage is not a solution here, you don't know what the devil has kept outside your marriage waiting to destroy you and your home, not only that, your relationship with God matters most too. Pls don't take that path.
Finally, remember to always pray, not just alone but together, it bonds you too together.
And for you, @Wife of Poster that normally read this blog, your body belongs to your husband and you can't deny him that, you may have married him for the wrong reason, but you are in this marriage now so MAKE IT WORK! You may not be getting what you thought was waiting for you in marriage now, but you are here in it already, you've got to make the most of it, trust me, there's no perfect marriage anywhere in the world but its up to you to make the one you've got perfect for yourself!
If you've got any reservation towards the way you both make love, tell your man, he is your man he can adjust 'cos based on his narrative here, he truly loves you and he's open-mind. Please stop driving this young man nut and making life hell for him by denying him is right, pride and joy as a man... yes his pride and joy cos nothing make a man proud and happy and fulfilled like a man who's having good sex from his woman, trust me am telling you from experience.
Your husband is on the verge of losing it, pls don't push him to the wall, you as a woman would not be able to stand what is coming by the time you husband start getting it from another woman. Please be wise! Thank you.
MRS S A
I av been married 4 six mnts now and I don't enjoy sex with my man too, his dick is too small and he Cum b4 1mins.. OMG # cryin... Wat a life, I can imagine wat he's goin tru, I also deny my hubby attimes cos it feels like waist of time to me. Ladies pls watch out who you r marryn ooo, bo be by force to marry Biko
ReplyDeleteWhen I say this people think I am mad, I broke off my engagement cos of sex. Everything was going well untill we had sex. The first tine it was half minute noodles, my breast was bruised with bites. The sex was rubbish, his excuse was anxiety. The second time it was worse, how can a grown man of 41 not know wat to do in bed, I didnt even bother trying to fuck him back. He had d guts to say he never do anything. I left his house and by the third day I started giving him attitude and told everyone to put a hold to the wedding preparation. I couldn't tell anyone the reason I can't marry him, the matter still dey for ground. I cant marry him cos I know I will cheat on him.
DeleteGbam!
Deletei too broke off a relationship cos of sex. We were to get married, after all d no sex b4 marriage tin, i decided to test d shoe b4 buying it o. b4 d guy move two times he don come....shuoo!! Did replay same tin, haba! He said d gals he's been with previously complains bout same tin, dat he can't help it. He dosent knw wat to do.i kukuma advice myself bcos i love sex DIEe! i have a very high sex drive and i don't want to fuck outside in marriage.
Communication is vital maybe you are not communicating with her properly in a language she will understand. Another reason is that she might be getting it outside,your marriage is too early for sex problem.
ReplyDeleteThis poster just sounds like my hubby, he thinks penetration and staying long is the koko. I don't enjoy or look forward to sex with my hubby cos its not enjoyable anyways, no foreplay what so ever, he is pussy shy, can't finger talkess of give a head. I av lectured him over and over again, and I can only pray that he changes. This is my 5th year in marriage, and bliv me this guy has killed my sex drive. He has accused me of cheating n being a lesbian just as this poster is insinuating, and I am not guilty of any of these things. Dear Poster, please step up your game, be intimate with your wife, foreplay is key, women love attention, pls give it to her and always make sure u make her reach orgasm.Find out her G spot and it will make her go weak @ the knees. If u do all these things, bliv me she'll always look forward to making out with u.
ReplyDeleteSo she used the old bate and switch routine to snag a husband..hmmm. There is a reason for everything, you have to ask her why she does not want to have a regular sexual relationship in the marriage. Could be sex hurts, you smell funny, sweat too much, she's missing some other dick, she's a lesbian, or she is getting sex from somewhere else. So ask her and see what she says.
ReplyDelete@anon February 17, 2014 at 12:47 PM iyawo o se. your husby has issues.
ReplyDeleteAm not tryin to offend anybody wit my words o.I can say anytin cos I didn't send my pic to stell an my bday(lol). Before I got married,wen I was datin my hubby,I sampled him very well before marriage,dick size,his performance in bed,foreplay. To tell u d truth d guy sabi d koko no b small. My marriage is 2yrs and our sex life bad gon,can't get enof of him,seein his 4packs(it was 6packs before) makes me wet like mad and cummin no b prob to me. Don't understand couples of dis days, u get married and begin overlooking the sex part,na dat one dy sweet pass,na be d koko inside d koko. U guys shld really talk heart to heart,esp u oga try and do d needful In bed,wether ur tin long like pole if u can't use it u can't use it. My hubby does d needful and uses it very very very well sotey wen night dy come like dis I dy happy like who dy wan dash huge sum of money **very magical moments***
ReplyDeleteDear blog Visitors, im the poster and let me set the record straight:
ReplyDelete1. I dont have body or mouth odour. I brush, floss and gargle mouthwash even more than my wife. I also have a trunk load of exotic colognes i get for my self and my wife too. In the department of foreplay and intimacy, im the one who does it most...i kiss pasionately , i give head without her asking and when we do have sex, fuck or make love she cums . That is not the issue. The issue is that even with all this, she doesnt come to me for sex and she denies me sex when i come to her.
2. I have talked to her and i have talked with her on this issue several times till the point that i have lost count so for some of you to start pointing fingers and calling me selfish is totally uncalled for. To cheat would be the easiest thing in the world but rather im hear trying to seek advice and suggestions to improve on my marriage. Call me proud or whatever, i see no crime in seeking knowledge from other people even if they are strangers.
3. I love sex. More still i love sex with my wife when it was regular. If its cos i go for too long then i cant be blamed cos she knew this before i married her and she never complained. Why suddenly after marriage should that be a problem? In any case, she hasnt even told me that it is a problem because i have asked her too many times and all i hear from her is that she will do better yet there is no improvement, instead it gets worse.
4. I know women connect better on an intimate level, hence i do some chores in the house even though i have a steward. I do acts of service for my wife to let her know i care and these should help in encouraging passion. Did i also mention i take her for romantic trips to exotic locations? I do this so that we can have some quality time to ourselves and not bother about the hassles and wahala of naija. So please understand that i know that sex for women isnt "wham, pow , bang"... Its a process.
5. There are 3 stages of intercourse for those of you who do not know a. LOVE MAKING b.HAVING SEX and C. FUCKING (if you dont know the difference, ask google). Every couple needs to have a mix of all three..not just one or two. As one commenter said, spicing up your sex life is very good else you get bored very quickly. So while foreplay is great, sometimes u dont need to have it. While quickies are good too, sometimes u need marathons. Its just the simple truth. However if you are married to someone who isnt sexually compatible with you, you will not comprehend what i just said. Sexual compatibility is key and important. I will not blow my trumpet on certain issues before you guys start to say i am proud but just know this....I KNOW my sex game whether its love making, fucking or just having sex so please do not get it twisted..........
.......6. The lady who claims to be my wife via her comments is not. Though the issues may be similar, there are parts of her story that arent applicable to my case but i wish her the best and hope that she see's this matter at least from her husband's point of view.
ReplyDelete7. As a husband, i believe in listening to my wife and vice versa. I seek her opinions in matters concerning work and career and i alsway make sure she is very involved in my matters and i in hers. We have a very good relationship excpet for the sex part which has now began to put a strain between us.
8. Mrs SA thank you so much for your comment. I found it most enlightening and i must say i agree with you that people marry for different reasons. I pray to God my wife finds out why she really married me because i suddenly have doubts. A woman who really loves you will not leave you in my condition. Whatever the problem is, i have tried to talk to and with her, iv opened communication so many times. I mentioned that she thinks our sex life is perfect so for me to keep bringing it up with her, shouldnt that indicate to her that something is wrong??? She has never complained once about my size, or that she feels pain during intercourse or that i stay too long.and i have asked her several times if these problems persist and she says no.
9. Dear genny baby, i am not proud and i am not arrogant. I am frustrated. There is a difference. If you ever find yourself in my position ie married to a partner who denies you sex/sexless marriage then u can begin to trade notes with me. Anon 938, trust me...she cums when we are at it.
10. Dear SDK, thanks so much for your help. I can tell you i have definitely gathered some useful info from the comments. Thanks so much
11. Please please and please, single people...look before you leap. That is all i can tell you. Dont jump on the marriage band wagon just to bear mrs. Do it because you are ready to stay married through thick and thin. I will try my best to improve on myself and my situation and i pray that my conditions doesnt get me to breaking point. We live life once and cant afford to be this unhappy because of what another human being is doing to you. Take care