Love that is probably all shades of wrong....who knows!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRYING FOR THE BENEFITS
Hi Stella, You are doing a great job,Thank You for this platform. My cousin is about to make the greatest mistake of his life.
Here's the story, My 20yr old cousin got admission to a university in Michigan, funded by his mums frd, the school is very expensive, but unfortunately for him, the sponsor got very very sick and is on sick bed now and could not continue with the tuition. He dropped out of school after first semester, no single family or friend there to help so he roamed the street for a while even feeding became a problem. Though now he's got a little job which is only enough to take care of his feeding.
But the problem is this boy who attended seminary school all his life with no *street* education at all is about to make the greatest mistake of his life bcos he thinks he doesn't have a second option. He is bowing to pressure from an older crush who even Smokes weed to get married to her in MAY,his Visa expires in November and he's seeing it as the only option he has to continue staying there.
Now he's totally into the idea as the only and last resort. I'm trying to convince him out of it but I'm not making sense enough as I have no other alternative. He keeps saying "I no go understand" and apologizing. The mumu boy is even saying marry na, divorce na as if na so e easy. The woman is even saying she'd love to have Four babies, ha!!! How and when will the boy even balance to assist his hungry parents and four siblings back home? Please bvs the situation is tougher than I'm writing.
Please does anyone have an idea of how he can renew his student visa even without studying?
If anyone has an idea, I'd even prefer (someone staying there) to call him directly and explain to him, and even add words of encouragement strong enough to make him not go through with the marriage plan. Thank you.
How can someone renew student visa without studying?Stupid as it may seem,the choice he has is the one that is freaking you out.either that or he returns to Nigeria
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THE ULTIMATUM TO GET PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE.
Good morning I couldn't sleep well and when I was able I kept dreaming about my boyfriend. Now the problem is this. My boyfriend wants me to be pregnant if nt, no Marriage. He has asked me on four different occasions and my answer remains the same. And that is I can't.
I am the first girl in the family, a graduate, I know the plans my parents have for my wedding already as that's one big day they are looking forward to and my church does not wed a pregnant lady.
My boyfriend happens to be a Catholic and I guess that's why he sees nothing wrong in me being pregnant. I love this guy like I have never loved anyone else but I know I want to get married in a church. What do I do now as he said I have one more chance to answer.
I am sorry but you are in a situationship and you need to let him go.If anyone places conditions before Marriage,you will get more during marriage...It never gets better.
You couldnt sleep?when you find the one for your,your sleeplessness will be because you are too happy to close your eyes.
Dont marry him..it is all shades of wrong and its not a guarantee that he will marry you after you get preggy.
Oh dear!
ReplyDeleteMemo to house @Kehinde Ake. Diariz somtin I don't like n it's playing wiv d intelligence of oders. U sent dat mail of da lady looking for u and u knw it. What da fuck? D second reply gave u out. Peeps dat was kehinde n not any imaginary babe kankan. Stells, I been think say u be smart warri babe. So u sef nor know? SMH
Delete@moi dot is da only frigging one da saw what i did. @Ake u fall ur own hand oh. Jus cus u wanna be noticed u went da low? Jane kor jagbajantis ni. Attention seeker. Stells plz post ma comment am so frigging irritated.
DeleteGist2: tell him to take a hike. Nor be only pregnancy before marriage. Tell him to buy u a RR before marriage. Not only him knows how to give conditions
ReplyDeleteOniranu
Gist1: tell your bro to come back to naija. Naija isn't as dead as the marriage he will be in with a weed smoking 40 something year old.
@ bianca Bruno. Yh he said he ll buy me a RR
Delete#yinmu
DeleteEhn get the keys get the documents in ur name then work on the preggy thing.... also ask him for a ring let him go see the parentals first
DeletePoster 1... tell him to get a job and go to community college (that's affordable) he can even get a work study job on campus while studying... alternatively, he can marry the chick (court only) then once his residency is secure he can file for divorce hian these things are done daily here... he should ask around I know ppl who have done it. He should tell the bane he's not financially ready for a big wedding they can do one after he finishes school or some excuse like that
DeleteN2: hmmm giving such condition b4 marriage is a big no 4 me.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if u are unable to get pregnant courtesy of d man? I mean if d problem of infertility is 4rm d man?
Meaning u will wait till eternity to get pregnant 4 him while he uses dat as an excuse 4 not wedding u yet?
Na wao
As hurting as it may seem, I gbaski ur comments stella, e pure like purewater jor
ReplyDeletePoster 2 shebi una don dey do already or are you a virgin? Stop this holier than thou attitude already abeg
ReplyDeleteHmm na wa o
ReplyDelete@ poster 1. You have advised your cousin and right now the only thing he would think of is what seems the only solution and that's getting married to the chic, so let him be,you have done your own part!
@poster 2. Na wa o,d moment he says that sef, na d moment you go leave am! What kind of condition is he giving to you, haven't you heard of stories where people leave people after this kind of mistake has been made..na that time him go remember say u no b wife material,but by then it would be too late!
SHINE YA EYE!
Lemme just read comments.
ReplyDeleteP2 ur bf is a child trapped in a man's body. I have a colleague who did d same thing, d wife got preggers b4 he married her, after wedding,she didn't fall pregnant till 11yrs later via ivf. Some pple think with their anus.
ReplyDeletethe 1st person should let his friend be. if thats what he will do to survive, so be it. the lady should either concur or leave.
ReplyDelete#1: sorry no idea.
ReplyDelete#2: conditions before marriage, better run now before u sink deeper. Marriage is better enjoyed than endured.
Blessed day ahead u all
Poster 2, carry ur tongue count ur teeth, u suppose don knw d ansa, poster 1 u wan 2dey send d boy moni? Leave am to hustle
ReplyDeletePoster no1....shebi na your cousin you call am ?pls if he choose to marry the woman that's his bizness,but he should be carefull about the woman not to kill him and he should not kill the woman too.
ReplyDeletePosterno2/like stella said you are in a situationship,if you agree to that,you'll end up living a conditioned life.so be kiaful !
Poster 1 and 2, stellz have said it all so dats my two cents
ReplyDeletePoster 2 don't even make that mistake
DeleteI have a cousin that got pregnant before you know it dude canceled the wedding and they've done introduction already and fixed wedding date! I just don't know what happened be between them but the man came with that 'The Lord said '..and to think that he's a pastor!!! Mu cousin almost died of shock! Tufia
This happened along time sha.her baby is 3 now and she vowed not to ever marry again!
So nne if the man de worry you to.get pregnant RUN!
Poster 1:
DeleteOriegwu oo.
Stells has said it all
Poster 2 :
Stop fornicating. Stop fornicating. Stop fornicating.
And den leave d man.
Or you can stay...
Na your choice.
Any man who tells you to get preggie may not wife you
Or...there are many baby mama's so you can become one.
Stop fornicating once again...abeg. see what it leads to.
Stella has made my post brief. 2. The Guy does not Love you. Stupid Condition, When people get preggy in the process of dating they just hestiate the marriage preparation. not giving condition you have to before I wed you. That means what if God plans to give u just one, you take in like he suggested, Eventually you get married now and he weds you like after some period you are expected to take in again but its not forth coming, What happens. Simply tell him No.
DeleteRubbish!..preggy koor pringles ni...he is nt serious..nah so my sister's MIL too bin clamoring on 'get pregnant first' before wedding..awon oniranu and itz nt their fault,nah becos say catholic church dey lenient..poster 1: abeg use extra forces deport ur cousin,he will thank u later.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2, this really has nothing to do with the fact that your boyfriend is catholic; I think it's more of a tradition thing cos i'm not sure many catholic parents will be proud if their daughter has a huge bump on her wedding day. Most people are of the opinion that the deed has been done, so instead of continuing to live in sin, just go ahead and marry.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, if you are not comfortable with it, why are you torturing yourself? Your boyfriend has made it clear that the love is conditional... is that the kind you want? If you are ok with that, then I think you know what to do. But IMO, that is not a very good condition for marriage.
@ poster 2, this really has nothing to do with the fact that your boyfriend is catholic; I think it's more of a tradition thing cos i'm not sure many catholic parents will be proud if their daughter has a huge bump on her wedding day. Most people are of the opinion that the deed has been done, so instead of continuing to live in sin, just go ahead and marry.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, if you are not comfortable with it, why are you torturing yourself? Your boyfriend has made it clear that the love is conditional... is that the kind you want? If you are ok with that, then I think you know what to do. But IMO, that is not a very good condition for marriage.
I just can't deal!when I hear some relationship stories i cringe.
ReplyDeleteMmmm.....na siddon look I dey.
As for the first post,nothing to say.
N2:one chance marriage... i hope this your boyfriend is not in Abuja ...Abuja boys are fond of this, to them they are looking for desperate girls to do baby mama with ,then waka up and down till thy kingdom doing funky adult. They will threaten the girls with pregnancy before marriage that if they dont they will look for another lady,as a sharp girl tell him he should go ahead and look for another girl and hear what he will say, if he thinks you cant conceive let him go for fertility test or tell him does he want a child now and after marriage he want to use you for ritual, love comes with no condition ask him if that is how his mother gave birth to him .Yeye dey smell all this small prick sef go they threaten babes for pregnancy before marriage.
ReplyDeleteN2...your boyfriend is a destroyer of destiny. No pregnancy..no marriage, young lady find yourself another man. It is from these types of conditions that you will hear stop working, dont talk to your friends, dont talk to your mum and dad, dont comb your hair, dont wear,jeans, only come out at 2:30pm.
ReplyDeleteLol....you are so right
DeleteLmao!!!
DeletePoster said she had sleepless night join..lolzz
If your boyfriend loves you my dear,he will never want to put you in such a tough situation....ask him if something is wrong with his sperm first...will it cease production after the wedding?
The minute you give someone else especially a man you are not married to so much power over you,in this case,pregnancy.....you will just know the meaning of meanness!evil! Getting pregnant for this man-child might just be his evil plan of stringing you along forever! We say marriage is an institution of its own and you want to carry nku (log of wood) on your head even before the journey begins!
If there is no money for a white wedding,let him pay your Brideprice..in my place,after your Trad wedding/Ime ego/Igba nkwu..you can go with your hubby! Be wise dear!!!!
excuse you, what the hell do you mean by your bf is catholic and so sees nothing wrong with it? abeg o, Catholics don't permit you to get pregnant before marriage. even though they will still agree to wed you, it will be low key and it is certainly not a requirement for them. your bf's decision is not influenced by Catholicism please.
ReplyDeleteBut you have only just repeated what she said na abi "non comprehende"? Lemme break it down! Cos he knows d catholic church will still wed them albeit low key na him make him dey push. But she, being a first child and d plans her folks have 4 a big wedding can't settle for a low key one. Abeg make una dey try use una head sef. Wasting time repeating what d babe said and forming proving point.sigh!
DeleteWaiting for comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,DONT Marry that dude!
ReplyDeleteHmmm at poster no 1, pls n pls tell ur cousin to return home.
ReplyDeletePoster1,idnt understand u ooo, if the only way for him to stay bck is to marry d lady then let him be na, or will u give him moni to sustain him ?
ReplyDeletePoster1, ur cousins mind seem to be made up on the issue cos d next option he has Is to return home which he obviously doesn't want to do. He thinks life is dealing enough with him now, wait until he gets married n d marriage fails then he will know wats up.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: d guy wants to b sure u'll b capable of bearing children wen u guys re married n he has forgotten that no one knows tomorrow. Wat if u take in now and after the wedding stress n all u loose d pregnancy (God forbid) what will he do? Some men are mean. U might even take in now n d guy will press 'pause' to all d weddining arrangement till u ve had like 3 babies for him. Pls marry a man that truely loves u unconditionally not one dat will change when wen u loose u flawless beauty or coke bottle figure tomorrow.
Like stella said @poster 2 u re in situationship,dumb d guy
ReplyDeletePoster2,since ur church wnt permit u to wed with pregnancy let him know nd if he no gree let him go, wat is wrong with him?
ReplyDeleteN1: let your brother marry the woman. Its either that or he returns to nigeria. By the way what is chasing him from nigeria, he should return home, buy JAMB form and continue with his education which is better than marrying his sugar mummy
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to taste foreign land where nepa no go take light, good road and health facility and still wnt to come bck to naija lol
Delete#1 God help u but i think stella has said it all, those are d only options he sees and he obviously doesnt want to come back home.Tis well
ReplyDelete#2 Getting pregnant b4 marriage??? That is not nice, if u guys don't agree on the same things then i think u better av a rethink.There is no advice anyone can give you here, u just have to make up ur mind to get pregnant or LEAVE!
It's obvious u guys av bn engaging in pre-marital sex, deal with what comes with it.
As hard as it is, stella i support you advice for this case.
ReplyDeleteN 1, I think the best thing is for him to come back to Nigeria
ReplyDeleteN2, ask ur said bf one big question "do u love me" Cuz it doesn't seem to love u for him to request such.... let him go
Poster's 1:
ReplyDeleteFace your work please.
You can't help the boy and you won't let him help himself.
You want him to come to Naija? And do what? When Unemployment is dealing with millions of youths that have even managed to graduate.
Leave him and his "igbo" crush alone. They will sort each other out.
This is what being a man is all about. Not giving in to his troubles but finding a way to manage till things get better.
Guy, a man has got to do what a man has got to do. Many men have taken the route you want to take. It's not the best but it's your decision. Take each day as it comes. When you get to the river, you will cross it.
Poster 2:
He said you had one more chance to answer?
You love him? How do you even love this one giving ultimatums and not respecting you and your family?
Definitely, you have always jumped to carry out his orders in the past. That is why he has the effrontery to dish out selfish demands.
Inform your parents please. I hope they talk some sense into you and you all can take a decision together.
Very true....His only option is to marry the lady or he would have to comeback...If things had worked it, after OPT, his visa would be renewed if he is lucky, but as it is, that's the only way out. He is even lucky the woman is willing to marry him without a dime. people pay as much as 5kusd for that arrangement. ..He will sort himself out with time. He will get a green card after a few months, and if he stays married for about 3 years or so, he will get a blue passport. so let him go ahead....
Deleteposter2, it has nothing to do with being Catholic please....do they be ignorant in the way you speak. Getting pregnant isn't a ticket to marriage. ..oga will take off in your 4th month...be guided!
don't allow him to impregnate u before marriage oooooooo
ReplyDeleteDont let ur love for him cloud your good judgement dear. What is his reason for giving you that condition? is he scared you aint fertile? if so u guys should go to the hospital for checkup. I for one would never get pregnant for any man without first being married legally to him. What is even the guarantee that he will marry you after you get pregnant? babe harden up and let him know its not negotiable and if he loves you he would respect ur choice.
ReplyDelete1] Leave the guy jare..it's either he gets married to her or return to Naija...
ReplyDelete2] Pray ova it if u still want to stay but if u don't then walk...
I'm sorry to say dis buh u sound kinda dumb! 'Pray over it' what is she praying over. Is it that she should pray over the fornication before she starts or she should pray over the pregnacy out of wedlock when it comes!
DeleteWhat exactly is she praying over?
Tah!!!
Ammy nwa,why is she praying again? For Angels to visit her in the night with a cane and flog some sense into her head? Haaa!!! Please poster reserve your prayers for your future husband to be,this one get k-leg
DeleteHia o chim oo
DeleteThe day that I will be ready to cuss people out they won't see me. Na today wey I no get strength u see me bahh
Oga/Madam correction fluid I agree with u totally, I am dumb for believing that wen u have a problem that's bugging u, u take it to God in prayers...happy now??
One last thing tho..just zuzupuo from my comment next time. Ewu
Lol @ correction Fluid
DeleteHaha Iphie nne hapu kene comment mua nunwa...achikotarom today at all at all. This boy ekweghi kam hie ura abali cha cha. So this my comment today eh so chima loolzzz
DeleteN1- I'll pass
ReplyDeleteN2- hold your ears, pay attention and read what am writing, don't ever, I repeat, never ever give in to his selfish ultimatum. Have you ever stopped to think that he might abandon you when you finally get pregnant? Biko nne, muru anya` ka'zu.
Not only abandon. What if God forbid he dies. I dont pray for that, his family wont accept you and the pregnancy. Girl be wise
DeletePoster 2: Please pray about this, talk to your parents about what he wants you to do. How sure are you that he'll marry you if you go ahead with his plans? I don't think its wise to do what he wants. Don't bring shame on u n ur family. You guys can do fertility test if truly he wants assurance. I hope trust is not the issue here.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: All I'll say is fast and pray for him to change his mind. Also pray that his sponsor gets well soon so that he won't come back.
Abeg. What is she praying about? Fornication? Biko stop it
DeleteMay God help both poster 1 and 2. By d way,I think its not good to be the 9ce girl bcos most good and not wayward ladies don't get d gud tins of life. I think am regretting not being promiscuous otherwise I wld av been working instead of my parents still feeding me @dis age of mine. I hope there's God sha. God,pls direct my thinking so @least,a good thing can kom out of me 2
ReplyDeleteOya na start to do runs.
DeleteSmh
Better stop being short sighted.
Go and ask dem runs girls how dey feel.
You think they are soo happy.
Don't you know God says he won't let d righteous beg for bread?
God would bless you.
Just keep on walking with God.
God blesses you not because of his actions, but because of his faithfulness.
So key into his goodness.
Happy new year
Poster 1, I have nothing to say
ReplyDeletePoster 2, what if he doesn't marry you after you get pregnant? Anything cam happen dear. Focus on your parents plans for you.
SDKers please click on my name, read and comment. Thanks
May God help both poster 1 and 2. By d way,I think its not good to be the 9ce girl bcos most good and not wayward ladies don't get d gud tins of life. I think am regretting not being promiscuous otherwise I wld av been working instead of my parents still feeding me @dis age of mine. I hope there's God sha. God,pls direct my thinking so @least,a good thing can kom out of me 2
ReplyDeleteMay God help both poster 1 and 2. By d way,I think its not good to be the 9ce girl bcos most good and not wayward ladies don't get d gud tins of life. I think am regretting not being promiscuous otherwise I wld av been working instead of my parents still feeding me @dis age of mine. I hope there's God sha. God,pls direct my thinking so @least,a good thing can kom out of me 2
ReplyDelete#1, There is no other alternative. He has to survive. Best of luck to him.
ReplyDelete#2, Don't get pregnant! If he loves you, why the condition?
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty.com
Poster 1: I feel sorry for ur cousin, i cant blame or judge him, i am not in his shoes and i may never understand how it feels. It is well... Just as Stella said, 2 options, either he goes with that plan or he comes back to naija... God help him
ReplyDeletePoster 2: For real, if a man really loves you, i mean sincerely, he would never make you do what you dont wanna do. One of the beauty of being in a relationship is having some level of freedom to make a decision and having a mind of your own.. No one should push u to do what u dont wanna do, that is manipulation.... If u cant do it, please don't, if he breaks up with you, he is making room for someone better...
Learn to say NO and mean it *Kisses*
It is well o I dnt support pregnancy before marriages neither conditions before marriage,it doesn't always end well.please dear BV's I need help in getting a job preferably around Ibadan,God bless your heart.Yours sdkly dazzlinglizzy
ReplyDeletePoster 1 sincerely that his choice seems like d best at this point or he better come bk to naija and find his way like other youths do.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 what is the guarantee that he will fulfill his promise of marrying you, you know of so many single mothers out there so please use your tongue to count your teeth.
@P1. Stella just said it like its is its either he takes the marriage offer or back to Nija of which ur cuz will not wanT to come back home just like that. My dear I don't blame him oh the situation here is not funny at all. @P2. Why is ur bf giving u a condition for marriage. My dear children are important yes but they don't keep marriage oh. So what happens to the union when the kids grow and leave. If the children are the main reason he want to wife you that means there will be no marriage when the kids leave. My 2 kobo is he either marry u for love with no condition or let him take a walk
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: hold firm to your descision o. Tomorrow, he'll say you trapped him into marriage with pregnancy. If he walks away because of that, pls let him go.
ReplyDeleteStella u said it all...dat guy is not meant for u..pls move on wit ur life..y cant ge wait till u guys r married if dats how desperate he is for a child
ReplyDeleteVisit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
Hummmmmm awaiting comments to roll im
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you cant do more than talk so just keep praying for him.
ReplyDeletePoster2, Premarital sex is wrong in the eyes of God. A guy that wants to have sex with you before marriage doesnt even love you.
2ndly, have you thought of what could happen if you lose the pregnancy just after marriage, such a guy will abandon you.
So my dear, you never see boyfriend o, na dictator you see. pen your heart to someone else and stop sounding desperate.
@ poster2;i understand your plight...it isnt that easier for you and i know..
ReplyDeleteMadam stellz,prior to what you adviced the second poster;i partially disagree with some of your opinion in the sense that its kind of a "law" to some family or kindred being that they have to confirm the lady is fertile and can bring forth grandchildren when married into that family...on the other hand it doesnt mean that the guy doesnt love the lady but just that the only option he has is succumb to his family/kindred law which is getting the lady in question pregnant..
Soo madam stellz hope you now understand a lil bit of why i disagree with your opinion??
@poster;the only thing i can advice you to do here is "Back out" if its against your believe or you take the other option which is "continue with his request" if thats what you want..
Also note that most men give that option for their own selfish reason soo as to be sure you dont have a damaged womb and to ensure they dont go through "stories that touch" on the long run..
All the best to you and always remember;THE BALL IS STILL IN YOUr COURT!!
PLS CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY LATEST NAIJA PARTY MIXTAPE
@MARTINS ABOY
This your law in quote is clearly fishy and very bad at that, will you allow your sister to obey such 'laws' as it will clearly not guarantee her getting married and staying in a happy marriage...call a spade a spade it is a selfish and wicked 'law'..what if she miscarries after the wedding and can't get preggers quickly or ever... Biko poster 2 if he doesn't know the road to the hospital he should ask for directions..tho I prefer you leave such a man...ADA
DeleteWith all due respect @anon;go through my comments once again..
DeleteI never said it was practiced in my family or was ever a criteria in my kindred/clan for a guy to get married..i only stated that it was a culture to some family/kindred to always "test-drive" before finally purchasing the good...please dont misinterprete my comments owkay..#cheers
PLS CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY LATEST NAIJA PARTY MIXTAPE
@MARTINS ABOY
you dont have any other alternative so free the guy or let him come home and start a new life
ReplyDelete*love first*
I want to pour my heart out, I need all the lashing and advice i can get especially from true christians.
ReplyDeleteI got into my first relationship as a virgin, thought the guy was sexually active b4 we met, so he had to find ways to please himself with me.We would do stuff..go naked,kiss,he would even put his pe**s in between my thighs when i get wet and he would do all sorts of things that got me 'high',i enjoyed them.He never penetrated me 4 once.We used to have a very good time whenever we do these and i got so attached to him,i loved him.Along the line, i think i came to my senses after listening to a sermon in church and i broke up with him, he died a few months later.I felt so terrible but i got over it.
All these happened in 2011, i was 19yrs old and in 200level.
Now, im in another relationship, still haven't been penetrated (i cant call myself a virgin cos i don't see myself as one),Its a no-sex reletionship too though we kiss.The thing is all those things i did with my school boyfriend have been coming back to my head, infact, whenever my present boyfriend kisses me, i never want it to stop at that, like i want him to go further.I think i actually want my him to satisfy me the way my ex did but i know i cant do that because i know i don't want it but something in me is yearning 4 it.I'm a christian and i shouldn't have allowed my first boyfriend do that with me, but i was young and naive.I want to get this out of my head,Has anyone been in this kinda situation? pls help me out of this.God please help me!
I would go anonymous here
DeleteBae.. forgive yourself and move on.
God has forgiven you.
Then stop satisfying yourself with Him.
Ave done all these too and I know am a technical virgin. But I have vowed to God that no man would touch me till I get married.
Just know God doesn't remember all those things again.
He doesn't
So why should you.
Move on
Okay?
E-hugs
Sweetie, first things first. Forgive yourself and break up with him. It all starts with "just a harmless kiss" and before you know it, the hymen is gone....
DeletePoster 1: is either he marries her or he comes back to Nigeria there is no two ways about that.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: just like stella said if he gives orders now of do or die it will continue in marriage o. You better sit him down and a word or two then if he insists pls let him go. A broken relationship is better than broken marriage o. My two scents.
Narrative one: As your cousin says, you no r understand. My little bro will say in abroad, na all man for himself. Let him take care of his problem by himself.
ReplyDeleteStudent visa renewal without studying? lmao! Are you dumb or stupid? Pick a struggle.
Narrative two: Do whatever you want. Your life, your decision.
For me, get the ring...make the baby.
Love doesn't pressurise. Like Brandy Norwood's song, there's no such thing as too late, when you really love somebody you can wait. Any love that pressurises you, is no love.
You have said it all.... nothing to add
DeleteHave you had any abortions for him in the past is that why he is now making demands? Only you know how you feel so act on those feelings.
ReplyDeleteYou took the words out of my mouth. Poster 2, please answer
DeleteHowever, some men are still tied to their mothers' apron strings and do their biddings. Its also possible the idea is coming from the women in his family.
Otherwise, the man is a pink goat.
Lol@pink goat
DeletePoster2 stand on your decision don't give in to his inconsiderate decision! All this be acting like they are doing us favour mutcheeeew
ReplyDeletePoster2 stand on your decision don't give in to his inconsiderate decision! All this boys be acting like they are doing us favour mutcheeeew
ReplyDelete@poster 2,lemme guess the dude is probably from Anambra state,well that's how they roll
ReplyDeleteIf ur church doesn't permit it and ur 'dude' doesn't want to understand with u,then he's probably not the 'right' guy for you
Pregnancy is supposed to come in your marriage not before wedding
The fact that society has lost it doesn't mean you have to bend to its whims
Also commit it into prayers.God never fails
**lululiscious**
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
NUMBER ONE: is people like yu the bible calls enemy of progress, like seriously what the fuck is ur problem or are yu jealous he is going to become an american citizen or what. Yu talk about his family being poor and yet yu want him to come back and join them, join them in doing what if i may ask....?? This is a great opportunity for him to take his family to the next step in life and if yu cant see that then yu need a brain surgery fool..
.
.
NUMBER TWO: are yu having ur wedding in ur church? Seriously is either yu find someone else or leave him. The gal am going to marry in the future must be pregnant b4 anything can happen thats for sure......
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Na wa ooo must be pregnant! Ha na wa ur choice sha
DeleteIDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!
DeleteI really wish I can make u disappear!
What's the basis for ur insults?
As for ur advice to poster 2, I woulda been in shock if you had typed the opposite of what you typed.
Anumpam.
Are you enlightened?I didn't say Educated o, enlightened....In this 2015,d girl must be preg before anything?Abeg jst stay that Jupiter, don't come back 2 earth..
DeleteLemme read comments
ReplyDeleteStories that touches to the two of them
ReplyDeleteWhere is it touching?
DeleteThat your rotten igbotic pusssy
DeleteChai! They have killed me with laff hia rotfl.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteAllow your cousin to make mistakes,he will ccome out wiser and stronger,all you need to do is pray for him.
Poster 2
You are so desperate to get married to a guy who only cares about you getting pregnant first before he canmarry you and na ur type men dey take do yeye!I don't even know if you having sleepless nights because you need to get married to him or you need to get pregnant for him.Abeg leave the guy and move on,Desperado like you!
U are fool juicy Bebe cos she is asking for advice and have not agreed to her boyfriend yet ,useless juicy bebe
DeleteLeeeme read comments ...Jez changed from Lawrence Nwachukwu to SDK finest ...
ReplyDeletePoster #1# what is freaking you out because she's an older lady or because your brother dose not love her,what is wrong with having four babies,okay since you want him to take care of his parents,he can do that when he comes to Nigeria
ReplyDeletePoster #2# why is he asking you to get married first,he must have a reason,stella you advice her to walk away,i can tell you that she won't walk away,he wants you pregnant,
Have you not been having sex with him or do you guys use condom or the young man notice that since he has been shagging you no news of you missing your period once
Hmmmmmmm.........eleyi lagbara.......Am just gonna sit and read comments
ReplyDeleteStella somtym ur advise are so wrong n most bv dont tel u d truth.So she shld leave d guy bcuz d guy ask him to do somtin neccesary b4 deir weddin.Do u know d reason y d guy ask him to do dt n all u could shout is leave leave like leavin is easy or u hav a yoinger broda dt u want to give her.D issue is ur church cuz i know ur parent wil understand bt try to sit him down n talk abt d church issue n settled it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not by force my dear, even if she leaves, someone dat truly loves her would come, Stella understand that anyone that gives u d condition of its either you do dis or we won't get married, doesn't truly love you, that's y she has advised d young lady to leave! Anyways she shd follow her heart but shdnt come back crying if smetin else happens o!
DeleteHim him I no understand you o besides stella's advice is ok
DeleteBros, i'll also say she should leave. A lot of Igbo guys use getting pregnant as a criteria for marriage. And they have given excuses like "there are wayward ladies everywhere with no womb" as a reason. See, marriage should be built on love, not conditions.
DeleteShe knows the guy more than we do, and she knows deep down that it's time to take a walk, that's why she brought her narrative here.
Poster one, you know your boo more than we do. You know how you started and what you've done with him. And, you're the one wearing the shoes. So, FOLLOW YOUR INSTICTS (it's NEVER wrong).
If you ask me, ill not marry a man that gives me conditions like he is a saint or whatever.
When them say make una stop to dey sleep with these men, una no go hear. They ain't loyal. If to say u tell am say u no go do till marriage, him for no open him gutter dey talk rubbish. Na them go spoil u, na them go still complain.Just pls explain who u are
LEAVE! So u don't send us a chronicle in the nearest future.
Don't rush into marriage, there are good men out there.
How do you know her parents will understand,are you the holyspirit, a family member or their kinsmen?
DeleteSerious situationship. Really don't know what to advice. May God see you both through. Cheers
ReplyDeletePoster 1- your bro wants to remain in Michigan. Just as Stella said, his only bet is what he's planning on doing otherwise, he returns.
ReplyDeleteYou take it or you leave it. Yowa!
Some people are just tired of naija you know...
Poster 2- that your boyfriend ehn...Hmn! What is he afraid of?
What happens in Michigan.....Stays in Michigan.lol
DeleteOoh star babe God bless you, I have nothing more to add to what ur advice or opinion is, cos it makes a lot of sense.Don't be fooled dear, he is not for real
ReplyDeletePoster 2, don't fall into the trap, there's no guaranty he will marry you if you get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with the first and second narrators
ReplyDeleteGOD alone will settle you both
Because I swear, ds one pass me
@Galore
Poster two, to get married isn't a do or die affair. Don't you have other suitors? You had better let that boyfriend go and concentrate on letting someone else find you. Is marriage for procreation only? So if he finally gets married to you without you getting pregnant first, what happens if in the marriage, the children come late?
ReplyDeleteKini gbo gbo e!?
Lol Mrs D e ti binu
Deleteposterone_ he can't renew his student visa..he should come back and attend the university we have here...maybe luck will smile on him someday and he will go back
ReplyDeleteposter2_ most girls succumb to that in Nigeria..because for them it means nothing..to me it means alot... only a girl that thinks that marriage is everything will give in to that..he is giving you a condition are u desperate?do you act desperate to marry?..MARRIAGE should be about love,companionship and procreation...and to me..if a man makes procreation the man basis for the marriage I won't give in...don't that...if he wants to marry you he should do that without conditions or take a walk..
Maybe luck will smile on him one day?what if luck dsnt smile on him someday? Abeg go sleep joor ,you want to suffer in naija dsnt mean someone else wants to, who den give sugar for mouth wey no go lick am?
DeleteI know someone whose boyfriend asked to get pregnant before marriage, when she finally accepted and got pregnant, the guy denied the pregnancy, as we speak now she is a single parent
ReplyDeleteSo poster2 shine your eye before you enter one chance
Lmao u'r joking right
DeleteDat's one guy dat deserves to be shot
DeleteNarrator 2: it is obvious that your bf is only interested in having kids and not really in love with you. Take a bow out of that relationship soonest to avoid stories that touch cos he won't hesitate to cheat on you or father children outside your matrimony.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteN1, if you really wanna know how this things work ask lordtrigg and toyin lawani, mbok no pun intended. N2, na wa o, I think he has a low sperm count and he knows it. In this age and time there's condition to get pregnant before marriage. No let better left tecostalust hear una o. Find your husband go front so you can fit sleep.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, the bitter truth is that pregnancy before marriage is the deal nowadays. Stella, you'd be surprised what some mothers are telling their sons. In a way, I can't blame them cos some girls have taken runs to a whole new level and abortions and countless abortions have become their middle name. No mother-in-law wants to become a witch overnight cos her daughter-in-law sees her as the witch sucking her unborn kids. So, poster 2, it's your choice. It's either you get pregnant or you let him go.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, the bitter truth is that pregnancy before marriage is the deal nowadays. Stella, you'd be surprised what some mothers are telling their sons. In a way, I can't blame them cos some girls have taken runs to a whole new level and abortions and countless abortions have become their middle name. No mother-in-law wants to become a witch overnight cos her daughter-in-law sees her as the witch sucking her unborn kids. So, poster 2, it's your choice. It's either you get pregnant or you let him go.
ReplyDeleteN1, your cousin either marry's her or he returns to Nigeria. N2, it is so wrong for him to give you that kind of condition.
ReplyDeletePoster1,since the only option ur cozin has is to marry for papers,then he should get a more decent and responsible person and do d marriage with,who knows they might grow to love and be together permanently rather than marrying the societal misfit and a druggie.
ReplyDeletePoster2,its clear u love that man more than he cares abt u,and who knows whether he is just putting up this 'get pregnant story as an excuse to chase u away,why I said so?cos there are drugs men take now that kills sperms discharged during intercourse so he can sleep with u for donkey years without u getting pregnant!so pls have some respect for urself and detach urself from this manipulative agenda he's planning.cos he's vehement insistence is suspicious.
I don't what to say to poster 1. Poster 2-don't bow to pressure and stop fornicating with your boyfriend.
ReplyDeletePreggy fire
ReplyDeleteKaiii poster no 2... Sharap dere...nor dey insult catholics anyhow....Who told u dey dnt wed pregnant girls in other churches...U too since d day d guy don dey hammer u belle neva gree show...aw u want make e take know say u neva abort all d ones wey dey ur belle finish
ReplyDeleteI'm a catholic @ poster 2 and we don't support pregnancy before marriage even though some people still get wedded with big belle. Your bf is kinda foolish, what if you have a miscarriage after the wedding? Will he divorce you? If he knows that your church abhors it and he is still pushing you, maybe you should give him quit notice biko.
ReplyDeletePregnancy b4 marriage wat a stupid condition...flee frm him...did his mother n father do lik dat...mayb he feels u can't give him children...wat if u get pregnant n he says he can only marry u after d child has been born...n wat if after d child has been born u guy hav a problem n he says it's over...think my dear...It has happened to my friend n now she's a single mum n she's suffering
ReplyDeletelike stella said, marrying d lady maybe his only option for now. it seems d lady loves him too. hopefully his plans may work out. @narrative 2. my dear some men re just like dt, but dt is what i call conditional love. so without being pregnant, u re not good enuf to be his wife. just think about it in dt light... selah
ReplyDeleteN1,be honest with your cousin.tell him to come back to nigeria.how can he be roaming the streets?life happened and he should be able to stand up,dust his buttocks and do the needful.either that or you let him marry who he wants to marry since that will be his ticket to having a stay there.N2,am sorry to say this but its possible that your boyfriend does not have an unconditional love for you.his love for you is adulterated..my guess is he wants you to get pregnant, for him to be sure he is not about to get married to a barren woman.a relationship with conditions and ultimatums is not a healthy one.have a talk with him,let him know you are not comfortable with his idea.if he persists,then pls do the needful.I once heard that a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
ReplyDeleteGod is love
One love
Hmmmmm, yes it's wrong to get married just to have papers but its either that or return to Naija...
ReplyDeleteNarr 2-Stand on your word and let him break it up and be thankful if he does cos that man isn't your husband...even if he agrees to
going ahead with wedding plans without getting pregnant,this character is still in him and will manifest in some other areas after marriage. Please be wise
Tired of all these problems meeehhhn. Wishing both posters the solution they seek.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
N1,be honest with your cousin.tell him to come back to nigeria.how can he be roaming the streets?life happened and he should be able to stand up,dust his buttocks and do the needful.either that or you let him marry who he wants to marry since that will be his ticket to having a stay there.N2,am sorry to say this but its possible that your boyfriend does not have an unconditional love for you.his love for you is adulterated..my guess is he wants you to get pregnant, for him to be sure he is not about to get married to a barren woman.a relationship with conditions and ultimatums is not a healthy one.have a talk with him,let him know you are not comfortable with his idea.if he persists,then pls do the needful.I once heard that a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
ReplyDeleteGod is love
One love
P2;u never marry,you already having sleepless nights.....
ReplyDeleteFor narrative number 1, u better leave ur brother abi cousin alone. He is even lucky he found smone tat is willing to marry him without pay and help him out. U need to come abroad first and experience what he is experiencing b4 u start convincing him. It's not easy on a student visa and immediately it expires, the govt is ready to kick u back to ur country. Pls leave him with his choice koz tats all he is left with or u will see him in Nigeria soon. Tats my one cent I'm contributing.
ReplyDeleteDnt mind poster1, in UK u would pay money for citizen to marry u nd give u paper sef, he see person wey no want money and you tell him to come to nigeria let mosquito bite him,kidnappers kidnap him,nepa take light, he enters one chance, fall in d hands of ritualistic, bad roads, bad healthcare haba ! Pity ur cousin lol
DeleteHahahaha this bvs wnt kill me lmao
Delete#2: Darling, if you love him the way you claim, chances are you will buckle under pressure because you don't want to lose him. Honey, trust me, if you want a loving, healthy marriage, you should have a rethink. A marriage proposal with a caveat from the man makes a caricature of the whole institution of marriage. I'm of the opinion that a man who wants to marry a lady should be the one jumping through hoops for her. You should be the one giving him your conditions and expectations, if he isn't ready to comply, honey, let him bounce! Clearly, he isn't yours.
ReplyDeleteOne of the major problems with marriages nowadays is, society places too much pressure on women within a particular age bracket to get married, failure of which the women are looked down on as though they were 2nd class citizens not worthy of respect. How sad! Ladies now inadvertently have low self worth and before long, their subconscious minds are programmed to believe that a man who chooses to marry them is removing the "stigma" from them. Alas! Her "saviour" swoops in to save the fair maiden from the degradation of spinsterhood. It's the messiah complex thrust on men by social misconceptions that now rocks the proverbial love boat. Why wouldn't some men treat their wives like trash when the wives probably had to get on all fours(yeah, pun intended) just to secure the coveted title of MRS? Why should a young lady of 22 years take the issue of marriage more pressing than her educational or vocational endeavours? Faulty orientation and mindsets.
Back to you, my sweet, please know that a man who doesn't feel compelled to prove to you that he is worthy of your love and commitment is not husband enough for you, my opinion.
I'll end with a more practical but sad note. Love is rarely rational. Commonsense and rationality takes flight once love holds your heart hostage. We can only hope and pray that he who wields the sword of emotional captivity is as captivated by us as we are of him. So my darling, chances are your heart will convince you and make excuses to justify this falacy. Perhaps, you may apply positive thinking and believe things will get better once you become his bride. Should it backfire later, which is highly likely, at least you'll be consoled that you did it for love. Bear in mind, though, that marital love quickly diminishes when it's not reciprocal and lacks spunk and exciting surprises, routines dull interests. Just saying.
#e-bearhugs my love, I really feel your pains.
Ronalda big hug for you,Godbless you for this comment! Your head is over correct
DeleteAm just in love with @Ronalda
DeleteKilode.....ds is E love
@Galore
Ronalda yii sha! I go like meet you for reat! Over correct dey always accompany your comments...eku ise opolo. You're so right. God bless you for this. I always look forward to your comments..Ronalda..making sense since 600 BC
DeleteAwwww! You guys are too kind, I'm actually flattered.
Delete@Shirley ; kiss kiss and a bigger hug from me.
@Galore; thanks my delectable shooting star! I've noticed your comments for some time now and I must say, I find you very entertaining. #e-bearhugs.
@Ernie; thanks, honey, I really appreciate the compliments. #e-bearhugs.
Hello stella, u doin a gr8 job, bn reading stories frm ur blog n oda blogs, buh ur blog pushed n motivated to get a blog Id, love d way blog visitors help one another here,so I got one as Love struck, and by d way am job hunting too, its a new year, v submitted CV taya, mayb an angel frm ur blog cld hlp a sister.tnkx n God bless
ReplyDeletePoster 1: if he does marry the gal, are u ready to take care of him in Nigeria, how can one renew a student visa without studying, u are funny!! Options a laid for him, marry the girl or return to Nigeria in November, Or u pray well that the woman shld get better this month or next.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: if you get pregnant, and u get married, when you are married and he tells you if you wanna see your frnds you have to leave his house or pick!! Don't be conditioned to marry... accept me regardless
So many conditions for things which others get effortlessly. Nature is honestly not fair.
ReplyDelete@poster2 be ready4 more conditions placed bfore u afta marriage, getting pregnant bfor marriage shud be wat both of u want,more so ur happiness shud b wat matters here.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the first time stell and I will be on the same page regarding opinions to posters. Nice advice's you gave out doll...#shinesteeth.
ReplyDeleteBtw stella, when are you posting vacancies ooo..I have a robust business plan and I'm searching for investors or partners for my existing business(been running it for 5 years now and I want to expand).
Is he marrying you because he loves you or because he wants you to become a baby factory...
ReplyDeleteThat's the pertinent question! One of the most tragic things a lady can do to herself is marry a bloke who wants her primarily because of babies. Sweetie, a baby changes a lot of things including intimacy and a woman's body. Even supermodels find marriage challenging let alone "mere mortals" like us! Lol!
DeleteTrust me, there's a way childbirth may take it's toll on a woman's body and her attitude that only real love and God's grace can make a hubby still see his wife as sexy and not force fake emotions out of guilt. I really wish young ladies take a lot of things into consideration before they get hitched.
Poster 2, I agree with Stella, why shld he be giving you conditions before marriage plus he knws ur church is against that, talk with him and make him understand, if he truly loves you, he wld reconsider.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,you are the naive one here.Are you a learner? The one time innocent boy could be young but he has seen life. He is now a man. A man gotta hustle. Marrying the lady is not the issue,the koko is that he stays out of trouble and get what he wants from the marriage. You might think its a wrong decision but it could pay off for him in the nearest future. So just chillax and pray for him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Leave that selfish guy and move on.
Tell poster 1
DeleteMy dear...love should be unconditional and as Christians fornication is a sin
ReplyDeleteBVs if am wrong abeg correct me
@ poster 1 maybe I no read am well...you mean your 20yrs old cousin wants to marry an older cousin and even birth kids just cause of stay papers?..can someone please define consanguineous marriage? Anyway in the bible a lot of cousins got married sha..
On getting a student visa while not a student, that I don't know because who would validate him
Buhahahahahaha I wanted to type *penticostalist* never knew this is what came out
ReplyDeletePoster 1, seems like that's the only option ur cousin has got.
ReplyDeleteHis parents should plead with him to come back to naija, lest he ropes himself to a slave mistress.
And you folks should pray to God that he sees reason with u guys.
Poster 2, I can bet that ur man is an igbo dude.
They're known for this get-pregnant-before-i-marry-you shii.
In the end, you have to follow ur heart.
I don't have anything against getting preggers before marriage, but for it to be a condition for marriage is wrong. Cos u gon get more conditions during the marriage.
Follow ur heart.
God be with you.
POSTER 1... You really don't understand. I am in the same mess here just that i have finished my Msc but refused to return to Nigeria and my visa has long expired. The only option left is to marry and get visa... There is no 2 way.. Na one chance and your cousin is even lucky he has a lady already. If i see 50 years old woman i will marry her without a second thought
ReplyDeleteHahaha ur head dey there
DeleteAre you kidding me? Omo guys are not smiling
DeleteNarrative 1- You are a big fool for asking this useless question! Everything at all they bring to sdk because she has given the platform for that. The boy is trying to help himself and you are busy asking Useless question! How else will he avoid being deported? Student Visa without studying? Buhahahahaha I will Terminate you out of this blog now! Narrative 2- Either you are out of your mind or you need to join psychiatrics hospital! What kind of a human being gets confused over an ass that wants to test before im marry you! He wants to test your ability to give birth and you are confused instead of dumping his sorry ass! You need termination. Finally Amebo Mistress why are you contradicting yourself? Catholics dont support pregnancy but some ladies wed with belle. Am a Catholic too and they support it. Just pay the catechist nd settle d priests. #SDK Terminator
ReplyDeleteChoi did you say settle? Odiegwu
DeleteSettle the priest? Really??? May God deliver ur very dark soul and bring it into the light. . Amen
DeleteGuys are too mean dis days.that was how why coconut head of a guy told my friend that she must follow him to One prayer house in lagos,else no bride price for her ooh!, my friend was so desperate for marriage she had to follow the isiaki to lagos for prayers. Who fear men dis days,no run get polio for legs
ReplyDelete*one
ReplyDeleteStella, you have spoken well. I agree with your opinion 100percent..
ReplyDelete@1, renew a student visa without studying lol, u are dumb, how much ve u contributed to he's upkeep, since u don't want him to marry an older woman do u ve a solution to he's problem, no be only women sabi marry old men for survival so free d guy abeg.
ReplyDelete@2, y d condition naw, what is he scared of, if u are 100% sure he will marry u then get pregnant since u love him so much, but if anything goes wrong after the pregnancy then u are on ur own.
Poster 1. So stupid. Renew study visa without studying. Hiss. Abeg leave the guy. Except u av a way of sorting his bills if he returns to naija.
ReplyDeletePoster2. I don't see anything wrong in him asking u to be pregnant. M sure he isn't saying it the way ur painting the pic. Must u be married in ur church? Why not his? Abeg the guy must have reasons n bvs don't lie. There are some of u your parents are in support of such. Don't act brand new hear Abeg
Narrative One:
ReplyDeletePls advise your cousin to return to Nigeria. No be by force to school for yankee. We get unilag and uniben wey school fees dey less than 8k (as at when I was a student o)
Narrative Two:
Your story reminds me of me, but mine was the other way round. Am catholic and he's not. I wanted to get pregnant before marriage and DH refused (wedding date had been fixed o). I succumbed cos he asked if I had a medical condition or if I just wanted to prove that I was fertile as he didn't understand why I was insisting on getting pregnant before signing the dotted lines. Anyways, am happy I didn't get pregnant before marriage.
Walk away from that dude cos he doesn't like your happiness. There's nothing as beautiful as waiting for the right time. Your frog will come dear. The dude u are dating aint no frog, he's a snake.
Please ooo which school pays such amount? I want to know
Delete#1: Let him marry the girl or come home. That her mother's friend must be very nice o .
ReplyDelete#2: Your man is the type who thinks he is smarter than God. I know someone who put such condition before marriage. The lady got pregnant had a still- birth through cs and never became pregnant again. He has added another wife now. Think with your brain and seek for God's guidance. Rose
#1 Why are you drinking panadol his matter, that guy has made up his mind and its only God that can intervene.
ReplyDelete#2 Tell him to start the marriage rite then you can take in, I know it may not be easy for you to leave him and I guess yr guy is Igbo or Yoruba.From relationship to situationship. Tell yr mum about it. Inukwa and when he finally puts you in his house, more conditions will follow and another story that touches d heart will emerge. I bet you are working if not, go get a job o.
Poster no 2 pls think twice, i'm a single mum today because my so called boyfriend told me the same few years back. I was blindly in love and agreed to that but when i became pregnant he came up wit stories and he wedded another lady while i was still in my first trimester. Abortion was not an option, was rejected by family and humiliated by friends,it was a tough one for me but now i know better.
ReplyDeleteA man that trully loves you will respect your wish. Please don't do it.
Poster 2..if you don't heed to anyone's advice here..i beg of you...read Omote's comment!!
DeleteOmote,the lord is your strength..you have made your mistake but you will rise like the Phoenix!
@BitchPlis pls can we shoot Omote's Ex already? Lol
TODAY CHRONICLES BE AS E GET....LET ME READ COMMENTS BCOS STELLA DON ANS UNA FINISH
ReplyDelete#2: Sometimes a man will try to ruin a woman with a child if he knows that she has a high probability of being successful in life. This happens very often under the guise of love. Then when the child gets here suddenly the man finds some reason why the relationship cannot go on and then he goes his way. Do not be fooled! You are the one who has everything to lose in this situation, not this man. He does not love you, if he loved you he would never entertain such thoughts to put you in a position where you would be humiliated or to disappoint your parents. Let him go and move ahead with your life. Give him the answer he is not expecting, tell him you are no longer interested in the relationship. Also tell your parents what is going on, let them know why you are breaking up with him. Tell him to go fck himself and breed his asshole if he is looking for a child.
ReplyDelete#1: He can appeal to the Nigerian community in Michigan to see if anybody will house him, or relocate to a place in the US where he has family or friends. Then he can continue to work and go to community college in the meantime, community college is much cheaper than university, but at least he will still be studying. Once he completes his studies he can go find work and see if the employer will pay for university education while he work. This is a longer process but doable. Otherwise he come home, sometimes things work in a manner because God sees what man cannot.
Poster 2: marriage should not come wt conditions. If he starts giving u conditions now, wat will he gv u wen u both r married? Dat does not even guarantee he will marry u
ReplyDeleteDats hw one of my departmental mates said her fiance said she must get pregnant b4 he marries her. The babe sef said they told her dat its her destiny 2 get pregnant b4 marriage n d painful part is dat she has been having miscarriages ever since wch has really affected her academics, she will b telling pple 2 pls pray 4 her. Till now she is still trying n hoping
In summary: no one should be given conditions b4 marriage.
1: Y can't he come back 2 Nigeria? marriage is marriage n dia is nothing lyk when he is tired he would divorce n marry again. Its until death do dem part (thats wat d bible says)
*Rmn blessed*
poster 1 Let your bro fend for himself d first mistake he made was depending on som1 dat he is not related to in anyway.Humans are not eternal till they die .Never trust a flesh and blood.let him live his life just pray for him if he comes back now wil u pay for his school fees.
ReplyDeleteposter2.Stella has said it all.that guy is a devil if u respect God and would want to enjoy your future marraige,RUN!!!!!
Poster 1.I understand your fears..calm down,,your cousin has just made the best decision.let him go ahead but be careful and protective.if you guys are afraid of him pregnanting the said old mama then ask to visit a doctor..there are tablets or injection which could be taken ..with this the mama can't get pregnant for your brother.this help to make the sperm light.butt he should be very very careful with this so the mama wouldn't find out.all best
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1: TRY TO ENROLL IN A COMMUNITY COLLEGE; iT'S CHEAPER. YOU SHOULD ALSO TRY APPLYING FOR SCHOLARSHIPS. THERE ARE A LOT OF SCHOLARSHIP OPTIONS IN AMERICA THAT STUDENTS CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF. I KNOW IT'S HARD BUT TRUST ME GOD IS STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF MIRACLES.
ReplyDeleteSOMETIMES WE THINK WE ARE WISE AND WE TRY TO HELP GOD BY CUTTING CORNERS. THAT WOMAN IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU LOVE HER AND YOU ARE MARRYING HER FOR REAL. WHY DECEIVE HER? YOU MIGHT YOU ARE BEING SMART BUT IT'S STUPID. WE SOW WHAT WE REAP.
YOU SAY YOUR COUSIN IS A CHRISTIAN. REMIND HIM THAT GOD IS NOT DEAD. PLUS THE CONTRACT MARRIAGES ARE NOT AS HELPFUL AS THEY USED TO BE. THE US HAS BECOME VIGILANT AND HAVE NO PROBLEM METING OUT SERIOUS JAIL SENTENCES FOR CONTRACT MARRIAGES. DO YOU WANT TO RISK GOING TO JAIL AND BEING VIOLATED IN THERE JUST FOR PAPERS?
YOUR OPTIONS
ENROLL IN A CHEAPER COMMUNITY COLLEGE
APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS AND GRANTS
TRANSFER TO A SOUTH AFRICAN OR CYPRUS UNIVERSITY WHERE FEES ARE CHEAPER
RETURN TO NAIJA
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP SO YOU DONT END UP?MESSING YOURSELF UP
ISABELLISIMA
@ poster no 1, please leave your brother alone. Let him get married. You have done your best. In case it turns out to be the biggest mistake of his life, God knows you had warned him.
ReplyDelete@ poster no 2, this is a no no for me. Please run. Marriage shouldn't be on condition.
Yea sweet Sally has answered u both. Meaning there's no way u can renew student visa , unless u wona study. Maybe his opgion is marry and have his stay. Poster two, being preggy isn't a guarantee for marriage o
ReplyDeletePoster2,run as far as your legs can carry you,that guy is sick it's obvious.
ReplyDeletePoster2: if u r a virgin plz don't do it, if not ur r a fool coming here telling us trash! You guys have been lashing for how long? You said ur church doesn't encourage pregnancy b4 marriage bah? Do they also discourage lashing b4 marriage? If they do, that means u won't get married bcs u don lash pass how many times! You r here bringing up a holier than thou attitude and all these girls hungry husband girls r here telling u not to take in, when they hav done abortions how many times!
ReplyDeletepeople will be saying come back to nigeria ,what are you guys doing abroad ,nigeria is better than abroad ,as if nigeria is better ,poster face your work ,a man got to do what a man got to do.
ReplyDeleteposter 2-people always confuse infatuations for love ,infatuations are fantasy coated with love ,inafatuations are that kind of feelings that gives you sleepless night ,madam poster borrow yourself brain abeg .
Anon; 14:45 Your problem is the flesh. One of the "works of the flesh is lust, impurity . . . before sexual immorality"etc. See Gal. 5:19-22. One of the fruits of the Spirit is "self control". To achieve this; you need to fast; discipline your flesh, beat your flesh so that you will not be a cast away. The death; sudden death of your former "toy friend" should be a huge lesson to you; where is he? Had the table been reversed, where would you be? Mind you that the present or next boyfriend could as well go "all the way" even via rape. Supposing it results in pregnancy or HIV; will you remember that you are a christian and not abort? Supposing you die in the course of an abortion etc. the cascade is long. Now, Jesus taught that our righteousness will surpass that of the Pharisees in order to enter the kingdom Matt. 5. . . the Pharisees fast twice a week -sunrise to sunset (he taught about the acts of righteousness as praying, giving and fasting; Matt. 6). Do you fast twice a week? So if not, don't you see that your undisciplined flesh is fighting to rob you of your place in the kingdom of God? So discipline the flesh and muster self control. My husband dated me for about 4 years and never touched my nude body. Married him at the age of 30 a virgin. You guys can learn a lot from the scriptures about the family you are to build (if you're serious in the relationship) and not just sex, sex . . . if you open legs and kiss not, what will you be doing when married. Or is the present guy also "satisfying his lust" in between you laps? Be wise.
ReplyDeleteI'm Joy
D nigga needs a lad just like me..lolz
ReplyDeleteN1 please pray for him
ReplyDeleteN2 please pray for him,but since u are a catholic,pray a 9days novena of St Raphael (Patron saint of relationships and marriage). It very effective in getting clarity before marriage and all. U can get a novena to St Raphael booklet in church
God bless the narrators
Hian @ preggers before wedding.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: Don't mind the clown, he is not yours. Same thing happened to me 2yrs ago, I was madly inlove with my then bf, we agreed to get married after dating for 3yrs but he had same clause that I must be pregnant before he performs the marriage rights (I never had any abortions for him, we had safe sex all thru). My world crumbled, it was against everything I believed in (not just the getting preggie before marriage but to attach an ultimatum to marriage cos I knew it is a glaring recipe for disaster, if anyone should ever give an ultimatum, it should be lady). He gave me 2months to agree to his terms or marriage plans will be cancelled, I said NO! counted my losses and we broke up.
ReplyDeleteFast forward 1yr later, I got married to a good man early last year, I am happy and heavily pregnant now and my ex bf got a lady pregnant too(like he had always wanted to), she had a very rough pregnancy, so they postponed the wedding till after delivery, she had twins(boy and girl), everything seems perfect for him but while they were still planning for the wedding, some embassy issues came up and DNA test had to be done by Embassy, results came out last month.....NEGATIVE! the babies are not his.
Now he's heartbroken, lonely and disappointed.
He now wants to be my yet-to-be-born baby's godfather (hubby is yet to agree).
Poster 2, the Reason why I took my time to write my story is to let you know that u don't have to be a Lab rat for his baby making experiment just cos you love him. I know exactly how you feel and I understand your confused state cos I've been there but please listen to that still small voice in your heart telling you it is all shades of wrong, take a walk and u never can tell, u might be walking into a better future. Goodluck.
good to see that there are Christians fornicating. I was told God is angry with me... that fornication, no tithe paying, not praying,,ancestors and enemies in my village.
ReplyDeleteI am even worse than when i started being over many years.
There are people fornicating, having children before marriage and got a stable life good financial status..
single etc..
Madame fast 3days focus on the psalms and prayers don't even think about sex. your answer will come.
If only conspirators will be accountable
Gist 1..Tell him to come back to naija, at least here, it will be easier for dearest SDkers to help him ( but, na wa for principalities ooo, rendered his helper ill and bedridden, BLOOD OF JESUS!!!)
ReplyDeleteGist 2...Abeg, the guy is NOT Catholic talkless of Christian ( by their fruits u shall know them)...shine ya eye and tell him to take a hike....
N 2
ReplyDeleteMy dear why ur complaining is cos u n ur bf probably attend diff.church n diff.tribe. am igbo n when my DH mentiond d belle matter d thing sweet me die cos na there my mind dey too...our son is a big healthy boy,our marriage dey kampe n my dear beloved catholic accepted me with my small 4month belle..pretenders too full here.make una dey talk true small now.I so love belle b4 marriage so my dear stella I beg to differ...my igbo brodas should learn to marry sistas on d same plate wit dem na.my dear either u take it or leave it na so we be...
N 2
ReplyDeleteMy dear why ur complaining is cos u n ur bf probably attend diff.church n diff.tribe. am igbo n when my DH mentiond d belle matter d thing sweet me die cos na there my mind dey too...our son is a big healthy boy,our marriage dey kampe n my dear beloved catholic accepted me with my small 4month belle..pretenders too full here.make una dey talk true small now.I so love belle b4 marriage so my dear stella I beg to differ...my igbo brodas should learn to marry sistas on d same plate wit dem na.my dear either u take it or leave it na so we be...
This marriage of thing sef, am 28 and my relationship of 6yrs never get head.
ReplyDeleteN2- In late chaz B's voice-*my sister, shine your eye* *green cupcake*
ReplyDeletePoster 1: You are not there, and you won't understand just like your cusine said. If you happen to be in his shoe, you will do the same. Nobody will renew his visa study ok? Secondly, the reason he wants to take such decision is anxiety. His sense is clouded with fear of unknown coming back with nothing. He doesn't want to regret why he come bk. And is not always easy coming bk home with empty hand and lack of support. If you have money to give him to establish business if he comes back, then he will be fine with your idea. Other than that, he has no option than to stay and fight it out. The only fear to entertain is if the lady in question is not the serious type.If she is serious and really wants to settle down, forget about the weed, for she will smoke and still follow him to interview for his papers. forget about how long it will take him to take care of his parent because for sure he will, it just a matter of time. Pray for his parent's long life. Your brother is just between the devil and the deep blue sea.
ReplyDeleteAll the people saying pray about it. N2 should pray about what eh. Oh Lord, please help me get pregnant? Mschew, women and acting like they put foam up there. If you are a Christian, you should know this man is not the one for you.
ReplyDelete