How do they survive financially after the marriage?
Isn't this what leads to many marriages crashing?I mean financial stress right from day one doesn't compliment a new marriage.
Why do they not sew their clothe according to their material? If you only have 50k and you must marry then marry with the 50k.
What is your take on this?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhere you see Linda? Blog asewo. Na una kind dey scream another girl name while chopping another girl indomie.
DeleteSome people have this "I must belong mentality" which is very bad, don't live above your means it never ends well...
DeleteMy Dear Stella, De yapa weh De borrow for wedding, some even go as far as forcing you to be their best man so you can buy the suit and shoe the groom would rock.. One of my guy is in debt now cause he fell a victim..
ReplyDelete.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Aha!
DeleteIs it a norm?
Cos my DH bought his and his bestman's wears.
My wedding held on the 20th of December last year, 5 days to christmas abi? I and DH managed the little he had koz me kukuma be Orphan plus a youth corper so how much I get? My friends went hysterical when Itold them we weren't going to serve champaign and alcohol ( koz thst thing can swallow money eh!) we manage serve coke and malt... when they begin talk, I politely asked them.... " una want alcohol and red wine"? they shout "YES" I say " make una no vex Christmas na 5 days from now. If una reach una house, drink all the drinkables! "
DeleteI no fit chop gbese on top guests head o! God forbid bad thing!!!
@ my future brides here on SDK, the key to a happy home is learning how to cut your coat according to your material. If e no reach one yard, take am sew bikini or scarf! You musnt kill yourself and go way overboard just because Chinelo's wedding featured in Bella Naija so your own must make wave. If you have 400,000. Believe me, it is more than enough. God's provision will still meet up and He will provide you needs* not your wants.
Dark n lovely, that's just the truth. No going out of your way to make anyone happy. If they want anything, they should go and put it in their own wedding plans.
DeleteHehehe! SDK, u go kill person for dis blog one day. Funny U!
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have money to marry, please remain single.
DeleteAfter borrowing 2 marry,the nigga will still borrow 2 feed.
I am against borrowng to marry and some people just lie because they want you to know they are on point or they have enough grrrrrh !
ReplyDeleteWhy borrow when you dont have means to pay back its not by force if its 100k you have do your registry and plan for few people.
Hahaha, this your comment just reminded me of one story my sister gisted me. She was learning events decor under one woman, they got this job and were paid 40 percent up front to collect 60 percent after the wedding... Everything went well on the wedding day according to her, na after wedding, when they were clearing their decoration stuff they saw drama. They saw the after everybody left, some people gather husband and wife for one corner only to move closer and she saw the bride counting money and most of the wedding vendors surrounded them. Not knowing that everybody dey struggle to collect their own money . The bride promised from the caterers to the photographers to the Dj , that after wedding she go pay. Na money wey them spray she and her hubby she dey put mind for. Lo and behold, the money no reach after the fastest hands collected their own.... See begging. I just dey laugh as she gist me. Cut your coats according to your size, now all those people wey come wedding done chop go their house, leave you and ur hubby with debt wahala... Chai
DeleteLol. it's love, not good idea tho. #swallowspit
ReplyDeleteIphieoma, I agree with you, but it's good to be MADE before thinking of wedding.
Delete70% of married people here borrowed money for their wedding and 40% are still in debt of it. And everyone commenting be like.... Stella, Don't mind them...I can't do it...
They won't cut their coat according to their size... bla blah blah
Hypocrites!!!
That's not love but sheer stupidity. Do a court wedding if ur pocket no gree owanbe.
DeleteHonestly I need an aswer to this question as well
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
I have always said it since I was a little girl that I would love to have a small wedding then fly out with d rest of the money to Paris for honeymoon and that what happened....well hubby lives in Paris then I relocated to over here to join him all na honeymoon .
DeleteThey just want to feel among thats y. If u know u don't av enuf money for a wedding, then just stick to d trad marriage and do d registry. So many marriages fail from day 1 bcos of this.
ReplyDeleteIt's not only wedding. Even kids birthday.
DeleteSomething I will never do. I have already cultivated the habit of managing what I have to the extent that even wen I have extra I still do not spend lavishly.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how rich my husband is or that I am(by d time I'm ready for marriage) I have already decided to have a small wedding both traditional and white, so there is no way is be borrowing to marry. I'd rather have a poor wedding and a very rich marriage than have a rich wedding and drink garri later.
I see people who borrow to wed as very stupid people, cos what's d point of a marriage if after ur wedding u spend months or even years trying to pay off debts. How then do u get to enjoy ur marriage.
*I'd
DeleteThunder fire any man dat'll wan 2marry a maggot like u. Ewu child of a nobody.
DeleteWhen your time comes.... We shall see
DeleteU r always supporting the other woman and insulting married women. So you want to marry? It's alright. Side chick's will be your portion in Jesus name.
DeleteI really don't undastnd it too,cut ur coat according to ur size,but most people want fairytale wedding they can't afford,they feed the whole community,people that will stil mock them when things later go wrong.i don't like big weddings,cos most couples hv been attacked on weddin day,thats even why most church stoped spraying of money on forehead,som even receive demonic gifts that they take to their home unknowingly.Even if i hv billions,i stil vote for a low key wedding.
ReplyDeleteActually, they should cut their coat according to their material. A Fat person that has one yard of fabric cannot cut to his or her size. People just need to learn to live within their means. I am totally against borrowing especially for reasons that that don't translate to more cash.
DeleteAh ah ah impostor welcome. U go tire. I dey laugh ooooo. Jaymoore please come and check this one out too man. sisi eko dey hungry the inferior ass.
DeleteSo if the person is slim and has 10 yards of fabric nko?
DeleteShe should cut oversize?
#mumuishthinking#
LOL..
DeleteDon't get it twisted, I am not impersonating you. I don't even know you and I don't want to know you. So drop the foul language...
DeleteLmaooo!!! You haven't started u grand impostor.
DeleteI say u go tire.
When u are tired of switching btw the numerous IDs here, your inferiority complex will finally consume u. Innovate and stop imitating.
Have funnnnnnnnnnnn using my name ooo.
I agree with u Stella... It's not reasonable to borrow to get married... If u have 20k and must marry, then do it according to ur pocket but some people still think what others think about them matters... #team cut ur coat accordingly
ReplyDeleteMy take is that it is very very wrong to borrow money to marry. You can borrow money to feed, do a business, or anything else. But definitely not for a wedding ceremony. I think it depicts badluck. Such a wedding would be dead and doomed on arrival.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure a lot of people have borrowed for their wedding and things are going well for them after paying the debts. But I'm also sure that a highest percentage of those in this category have bad tales surrounding theirs. As some may still be neck deep in their debts, while they rob Peter to pay Paul, hence, their financial struggle in the first few years of their matrimony
Some will never be able to pay off such debts. While some have had their marriages discontinued because they borrowed money to wed and couldn't pay back...and it ended up causing a strife btw both families.
The question should be, after borrowing money to entertain guests for a few hours in a one day affair, how do u hope to survive thereafter?
Would rather u borrowed money as a new couple to start off a business that'll make u independent enough to start your family. But not borrow for the purpose of a one day ceremony that those who tied gele to ur wedding, ate your food, and perhaps didn't even drop u a wedding gift, would have eaten and gone home while u have to pay ur debts.
People should realize that the wedding day is just a glamorous superficial event, it's just a wedding ceremony. What happens a day after is what u call the real marriage, and I think the after event is the most important and not the gathering of people to eat rice and dance.
No one should borrow money for a wedding. If you cannot afford it yet, wait. If you cannot wait, get wedded in your living room and those who really matter will understand and join in your quiet celebration. Those who make up the crowd in most weddings are the unimportant people anyway. They are mere statistics to add to the head count to make your event look bubbly. But those whom u really need are the ones who'll attend year wedding even if u decide to do it in your bedroom. For me, that's the most important thing. Cut your coats according to your size instead of trying to impress people by borrowing to show off.
OK bye
Why should somebody borrow money to feed
DeleteWhat I meant was that it can still be condoned if say they get stranded to the point of not being able to eat, they can beg or borrow for a one off. I don't mean that they should borrow to feed like that. To me though, borrowing to buy food is better than borrowing to do show off wedding
DeleteYes ohhh,many want an elaborate wedding,they wouldn't mind borrowing ohhh,as far as d wedding is d talk of town,den after marriage dem gho dey soak garri,den their lenders gho behin draw money,I knw of a couple u did their wedding in early morning mass,d priest join dem as husband and wife,and dey went home justs like dat ohhh,d wedding wasn't even up to 20k I guess,sew ur coat according to ur material ohhhh
ReplyDelete********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********
I have a frd who is geting married soon in warri,I heard the wife to be is the one buying both suit for her hubby and his best man.not a good idea to me
ReplyDeleteAre you from Warri?
DeleteNot only Yorubas o, my neighbour is from Auchi and her borrow borrow is legendary
DeleteA single mother with 2kids, she loooves throwing needless parties; her birthday, her kids' birthdays, Sallah, Christmas, Easter, any and every chance to throw a party. Time for school fees she go borrow so teeeey, she go borrow from cockroach then a week after paying school fees she's throwing another "get together" on credit, even without paying those she owes for the school fees, very irresponsible
Everyone in the neighbourhood knows her and her gbese status; she owes the recharge card girl, she owes the guy selling bottled water, like say na by force to form ajebo, even owe Mallam money for geisha
Greeting her "Good morning" is an invitation to "Neighbour abeg make I see you", she no dey rest o, always on the prowl for who to con or borrow from with her help a single mother story, shameless!
SHARONNA
Not only Yorubas o, my neighbour is from Auchi and her borrow borrow is legendary
DeleteA single mother with 2kids, she loooves throwing needless parties; her birthday, her kids' birthdays, Sallah, Christmas, Easter, any and every chance to throw a party. Time for school fees she go borrow so teeeey, she go borrow from cockroach then a week after paying school fees she's throwing another "get together" on credit, even without paying those she owes for the school fees, very irresponsible
Everyone in the neighbourhood knows her and her gbese status; she owes the recharge card girl, she owes the guy selling bottled water, like say na by force to form ajebo, even owe Mallam money for geisha
Greeting her "Good morning" is an invitation to "Neighbour abeg make I see you", she no dey rest o, always on the prowl for who to con or borrow from with her help a single mother story, shameless!
SHARONNA
Borrow to marry someone...
ReplyDeleteHmmm Chukwu Aju!!!
If it comes to that i'd suggest we conduct a little wedding and have peace of mind after the whole celebration..
Just a question though, after the wedding what will they eat.
I blame most ladies for this. They put unnecessary pressure on the men, demanding for what they vividly know that the men cannot afford. And the men in turn wouldn't want to fall hand.
ReplyDeleteTo answer your questions, the people begging for baby things and all. They clearly are living way above their means na. How can a mother be begging for a birthday cake on blogs? If you know you can't raise a child, stop having kids until you are ready. And na dem dey get 5 children self.
I agree with you must you do birthday for the baby if you don't have money for it then don't do it. Ada Agulu said so
DeleteLA Katie u are 100percent right. People can't cut their coat according to their size
DeleteAdaobi is dis you? Adaobi Aguluka
DeleteGbam!
DeleteThank you o.
I don't understand why a mother must beg to throw a birthday bash for her child.
Are they not ashamed?
Even ridiculous baby things like if the child doesn't use it, heaven will fall.
And na dem get bad mouth pass. All dem beggars wen full ere so. Dem go go under anony begin cuss person wey talk fact or if u nor gv dem. Dats y I don't pity some ppl. Dey can lie for Africa. D ones wey get blog name go kukuma hide to beg sef. Useless ladies wiv no shame.
DeleteLa Katie I love you! You're my #womancrushsaturday that day that lady shamelessly sent that post, I was so upset that I lashed out on her. How dare u as a mother beg for gifts to throw party for a child? What are you teaching that child? That when u can't afford you should go and beg? Namsense! Later they will come under anonymous to cuss ppl out. Shiooor!
DeleteD reason why most men borrow money for wedding purposes is majorly bcos of women pressure
ReplyDelete#facts
#Everywhereisgood
God will not let me or my spouse borrow one dime because of wedding
ReplyDeleteMbanu
People forget that you not only prepare for the wedding, you also prepare for marriage.
My neighbour borrowed money for their wedding because she wanted to impress her group of friends,now they can't pay back and police have been harassing them since the first week of their marriage and they have been arguing constantly,i can never borrow money to marry,i don't even like elaborate weddings,so no need
ReplyDeleteSmh. That your neighbor need help from above o! Now, the friends she wanted to impress will turnaround and mock her in return
DeleteSome guys will always wants to form or ready to satisfy d fiancee that seriously wants a high society wedding but has nothing to contribute. In such case, d guy will not let her know that everything "na borrow pose" lol. Until after d wedding that d people will start calling for their money. Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteDesperation.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I see.
Its only in this part of the world that people see weddings as something that must be loud. with the rate at which people divorce...i will rather do court/traditional wedding then come back after 10years or more to loud it. Naturally...financial problem will drain anyone so y live above ur income/savings. I just want something quiet and cozy and i pray bf agrees with me eventually. I dont want noise on my pretty little head.
ReplyDeleteHahahahhaaa. I love your comment!
DeleteDoesn't make sense to borrow abeg.......
ReplyDeleteHian
Cut your coat according to ya material. If na only bra the material fit make...then sew a bra and imagine you are at the beach.....simple
It's not compulsory you spend millions....if no money do a parlour wedding shikena.....
Afterall the people you borrowed money to impress won't be with you in the marriage when you are struggling to pay debts.....
you can't afford a make up artist, rub white powder....
you can't afford to rent a hall...use your parlour or your back yard undergone mango tree simple....
You don't have a car to get to and from church...invite the pastor to bless that marriage in your father's parlour after all na traditional wedding be wedding.....the so called white is all formalities you can go to church on Sunday and bless the marriage/thanksgiving...
life isn't as hard as we make it to be o
I dislike owing....let alone owing for wedding....as if the wedding would yield dividends in cash. Rather in yields in kind which needs more cash to maintain...
Good after noon..yall
To cause envy among your peers. after that you go home and soak garri with your wife. shikena
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that will happen to any woman is getting married to a broke ass...
ReplyDeleteYou will suffer ehhhheee....
My Igbo brothers can never get married when they have nothing to offer that's why some of them settle down late...
Imagine borrowing to get married...God forbid I have never seen such...
Lolzzzz
DeleteLmao hahahahahahahahahah broke ass guyz can really make life miserable for a woman
DeleteMy dear u are so right! I know of a yoruba couple that borrows money 2 do everything, naming ceremony, birthday, etc.. tufiakwa
DeleteA typical Igbo guy wont do It cha cha...
DeleteHave never heard of Such too
Desperate ladies are even the ones that drag their husbands to it. Some will tell their hubby don't worry I will borrow from my office just so the guy won't develop cold feet and refuse to wed them. They will go as far as paying their own bride price just so the wedding must take place. And some will borrow with their husbands consent but in the woman's name, at d end of the day he will refuse having anything to do with the debt which most times is the foundation of the biggest rifts in early marriage. A cousin is passing through same bullshit right now. Ladies pls don't borrow for your man so he can marry you sharply, you forever regret that singular act.
DeleteTrue talk!
Delete...and the man u borrow for will most of d time end up not valuing u cos marrying u costed him nothing!.dats human nature for u.
DeleteHian! Stella abiakwa..
ReplyDeleteSome ppl middle name na 'gbese'. They cnt do without borrowing fa. It's in dia gene. #tueh
Lemme sit & read comments sha
cut ur coat according to ur size is d answer!
ReplyDeleteNow, it's cut your coat according to your clothe...
DeleteIt's never a good idea to borrow to marry, even if you're expecting the whole to come and spray you money, it is still not right.
ReplyDeleteI think it's pure show off except in few cases, the truth is you have the choice to darn what people will say and have a wedding that will favour your pocket.
Stella this is a good topic ooh, most people live a very fake life, example some bvs, I no call person name oh. My friend married last yr & her hubby asked her to contribute 1m cos she gave d guy the impression that she's rich, na so HBP almost kill my friend, her sugar daddy later gave her the 1m, na sugar daddy pay for hall, na sugar daddy buy traditional marriage drinks, d idiot of a man never knew all d money she was spending came from another man, try and be real any man/ woman that loves u will marry u irrespective of ur broke pocket.
ReplyDeleteYour friend sugar daddy naim pay for hall and trad marriage drinks plus the one million...???!!!
DeleteHmmm... Birds of a feather flock together.
Jisos.
DeleteWhat won't I read on sdk?
Sugar daddy paying for wedding!!!!
D sugar daddy will help dem with sperm too
DeleteStella I follow you wonder oh!
ReplyDeleteSome yoruba people are just fond of borrowing money for wedding/party.
After the wedding/party they wil lstart drinking garri
Tufia!
U are so right.. my yoruba neighbour can borrow for Africa, Gosh! They borrow money for the wife's hospital bill during delivery, naming ceremony, birthday.. everything and to think that they are claiming to be rich.. smh for some people..
DeleteMy dear, it's not just some yorubas. It cuts across the various tribes...
Delete@awesome r, yea it cuts across various tribes but just way more popular with d yorubas
DeleteDon't mind them!
ReplyDeleteThey won't cut their coat according to their cloth.
They are cutting it to their size, meanwhile dem be orobo and the material is just half yard.
Tsk! tsk!! tsk!!!
I mean..plan your budget with your available resources. If you don't have so much, plan for a very small wedding.
It's that simple.
But some people? They just can't!
Titi Onashile adeyemi na you dem dey talk to here upon all the gra gra for the said wedding people dnt eat I want newton and David to do this I want this to do that what instagram and bellanaija will cos in this naija ehn
DeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeleteThe problems with nigerians is that they want their weddings to be featured in bella9ja and other top blogs,they want dia weddings 2 be the talk of town,this inturns make them go on a borrowing spree witot using their tongues to count dia teeth and cut their coats according to their size........wen reality dawns on them,that's when they start running from pillar to post in a bid to sort out dia HUGE DEBTS..
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
borrowing to get married doesn't make sense @all but in our society its so rampant,trust Nigerians na they want their wedding to be d talk of town....
ReplyDeleteI know someone who borrowed money for her wedding and she didn't get so much money after the reception as she anticipated. Eventually the bride's mother had to get a loan from her office to offset the debts. It will take that woman 18 months to service the loan.
ReplyDeleteMba! No I can't do such.
Broke guys shouldn't be thinking of marriage, they should go work harder to make the money before thinking of marriage. Cos the stress will eventually fall on both young couple which is not good for their marriage being that they are just starting. Getting married is one thing staying married is another.
ReplyDeleteTo marry isn't beans, that's why some ladies don't respect their boyfriend / husband. It's okay for the lady to contribute but don't make or expect her to play your role. Otherwise you sell your rights!
Side eyes at broke guys talking about marriage, smh! Na garri u want give her after marriage? Broke guys looking for partner to suffer with them, smh!
Infact the whole idea of borrowing to marry drives me crazy. It doesn't make sense at all borrowing money to entertain guests, purchase high quality fabrics, etc. If you have just 50k, make your wedding plans with it. Its as simple as that. All you have to do is cut down your expenses to the barest minimum. After the wedding what happens should be the question in the minds of those planning to borrow.
ReplyDeleteBorrow money to marry??
ReplyDeleteThat'll the beginning of frustration in that marriage.
Cos they'll keep borrowing to pay off other debts.
That's how one guy who wanted to marry my bestie wanted to borrow money, to add to the tiny he had, to do wedding.
She no gree.
I can't o.
Biko kwa.
I have no idea..
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Marriage is a big deal for women so as to make their frnds jealous so any man that borrow money to marry a woman he loves was pushed by that woman and thats it.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Simple
ReplyDelete1. They want to have an elaborate wedding that people won't stop talking about, basically to impress.
2. For some it's a mentality that it must be big even if it means borrowing.
3. For some it's the time to show off.
At the end, no matter how much you spend, you can't satisfy people, if only we all plan and live according to our budget life would be much more easier for everyone.
how can you borrow to marry ,this is serious madness ,cut your coat to your size ,fake life ,Nigerians suffering and smiling ,must you invite people to your wedding ,cant you just get your family and his family to registry or church and get married ,people that dont have problem creating one for them selves .oyibo man will quitely get married mama and papa self wont even be there.
ReplyDeletefuture hubby make plenty money wile we r waiting f our paths t cross. borrowing t marry a damsel lyk is highly despicable. inugo!
ReplyDeleteYou've said it all SDK
ReplyDeleteIts shamefull when couples borrow just to have a big wedding. And statistics show that a good percentage of such marriages end up badly just a few years down d line. The other half that survives, continue to borrow for house rent, maternity bill, feeding, school fees etc Many years after. A marriage built on a borrow borrow foundation will surely fail! To do wedding no be by force. U can have a small registry wedding and still keep ur decency. To marry no be race so why hurry if u dont have d funds?
ReplyDeleteThey prefer to please others and then displease themselves..smh. Na by force to do elaborate wedding? I know many of them. Drinking garri after marriage! What a life!!
ReplyDeleteOri e pe fun post yi stella, I always wonder why some couples go out of their convenient zone to do elaborate wedding. When I did mine ehn, we didnt ve much and so we did wat we can afford, it wasnt upto 100k dat we spent and so I didnt invite plenty pple so food go kari
ReplyDeleteAny marriage dt d foundation is built on borrowing, will always borrow. N no sensible woman will fall a victim of dt, all in d name of answering married.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Why sould someone be in debt because of marraige . If you like cook food for the whole benin city someone will still say they didn't eat. The earlier we get to understand that its life after the wedding ceremony that matters the better for all of us. Most of us enter debt because we want to show off. Nah my get the best marriage syndrum.
ReplyDelete*me
ReplyDeleteThe reason why people borrow is pressure and what will people say. When I'm going to get married by Gods grace, I wouldn't borrow at all. If I can only care for 40people, I will invite just 40 and take care of them so well that they wouldn't stop talking about the wedding. Wedding is not do or die matter, its meant to be an intimate affair, not inviting the whole world
ReplyDeleteI swear, marriage 2 sum ppl is 2 finish work dat day, wat happens after marriage? A lot of debt n drinking garri? If u hav d moni spend it bt if u dnt cut ur cloth according 2 ur size. U wedding doesn't even dpend on d money u spend, wat if u spend money n ppl dnt. Show up? All is waste, 4 me, I ain't spending so much on. My wedding cos ders life after marriage, I'm even Tinking renting. A wedding gown cos I dnt buy dat buying wedding gwn tin. Itz jst 1 day nau! Oh well God help me.
ReplyDeleteit doesn't hv to b a big wedding ceremony if u can't afford it. all d@ matters is happiness, luv n peace of mind plus a man wt a heart d@ is bigger than Stella's ukwu (who can stand up f u anytime, anyday n take a bullet f u).
ReplyDeleteWhy must I borrow to marry when registry (court) wedding costs highest 30k? The traditional and church wedding will happen when we are financially buoyant. Personally, I prefer court wedding to any other type of wedding.
ReplyDeleteI think most people don't understand the purpose of marriage. They do it because society says so, or because they think they're getting old or because it's the responsible thing to do.
ReplyDeleteWhen you love someone and you decide to spend the rest of your life with that person, you need to understand that other people's opinion doesn't matter. You don't need an expensive wedding . It doesn't guarantee a long lasting marriage. You can have a small , intimate wedding with a few friends and family . Your wedding day is the day you say your vows and celebrate YOUR union! Not you're guests'!
Putting yourself in debt just to show off doesn't show wisdom or maturity. If you can afford an expensive wedding, count yourself lucky! If you can't, it doesn't mean your marriage is less significant.
Wedding is for a day, marriage is supposed to be for a life time.....if you wreck yourself just cos you are worried what others might think then u are a fool. In 1991, a man that was doing very well got married he spent all he had and borrowed no top to throw "the wedding to end all weddings!". He suddenly found life difficult, his shops crashed, creditors were always at his neck and his 4children all attended akara schools, he suffered till 2013 when he finally recovered up to a point. He lived in penury for 23years cos he wanted to show he was what he wasn't.
ReplyDeleteWedding is for a day, marriage is supposed to be for a life time.....if you wreck yourself just cos you are worried what others might think then u are a fool. In 1991, a man that was doing very well got married he spent all he had and borrowed no top to throw "the wedding to end all weddings!". He suddenly found life difficult, his shops crashed, creditors were always at his neck and his 4children all attended akara schools, he suffered till 2013 when he finally recovered up to a point. He lived in penury for 23years cos he wanted to show he was what he wasn't.
ReplyDeleteThat's how my sis told me how her colleague confessed to her that she spent 15m on her wedding. Cash gifts from friends and well wishers. Plus, God opened doors and they paid her fiance for a huge contract.
ReplyDeleteThen after clearing all the wedding and settled into married life, their eyes cleared. it was as if she had been jazzed. That the annoying part is that when she walks on the road nobody looks at her like her wedding was fabulously posted on that wedding blog. All was forgotten. She was still ordinary. hehehe
NA there she take learn lesson for newer brides. LOL
Na mumu package
ReplyDeleteNa mumu package
ReplyDeleteI think most times, the ladies weild more power in determining the budget and cost of weddings. A lot of ladies have a basic minimum and simply set the man on the task to make it happen.
ReplyDeleteA basic minimum for some could be a Paris wedding or a small occasion with family members. A few ladies contribute to the wedding fund nowadays.
A lot of guys are not so bothered as long as they get their suit and shoes right, they just wait for how honey will want it.
Its baseless to borrow for an elaborate wedding. If you don't have the money simply cut down. I did and I had peace. God bless my wife who gave me the courage to get on with it. Mom was going to bring her brigade of meeting people and I simply said OYO was the case of anybody who was going to invite more than I can handle.
A manageably sized wedding does not change the fact that I'm happily married today and moving on.
If you have the money, please splash. Don't be stingy.
If you don't have the funds, you either wait till you have it or go ahead with whatever you have bearing in mind that "a wedding is just a single day event while a marriage is a lifelong journey".
Instead of borrowing for a bigger wedding, why not have a smaller one and use the change to arrange your home, buy a car or do something only two of you will enjoy.
Its your marriage, not the crowd's.
some people dream big, they plan and daydream about that big day even before getting the boo, it gets worse when they attend other people's weddings and they see the glam and flash of it, chai...it would sweet them and from there they would make statements like ' my wedding go be like this ' or ' my wedding go better pass this one, no worry na, that day ehn, we go block road'...lol...unfortunately, most of them end up being broke if and when the D day comes callung or worse, boo is not as rich as he was in their dreams, so, in order not to disappoint or ' fall hand' they start borrowing, cutting coats bigger than their sizes and biting off more than they can chew...they don't care if they end up soaking garri throughout their honeymoon, all they want is for their wedding to be the talk of the town, to make their friends feel inferior or jealous...and from there, the cycle continues...#lookingforoyinbo...
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm
ReplyDeleteLips sealed.
I don hear a situation where d cow seller na d one holding d bag of money wen dem dey spray d couple money
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteIt just doesn't seem right to go borrowing all for a wedding.
ReplyDeleteI guess one of the reasons intending couple borrow is the thought of being gifted cash gifts after the wedding ceremony which will be used to off-set the loans collected but most times they get disappointed.
U are a pretty lady but please change or profile picture to a more friendly one. I am sure u will get a suitor coz u deserve a good one coz u are nice. Goodluck take my advise or leave it.
DeleteLolz dis babe dey wan kind wan kind, she be robot na
DeletePeople borrow money because most Nigerians like to pretend...they want their next door neighbor to believe they have so much....they focus more on the marriage ceremony/wedding day other than the marriage itself. Borrowing to get married is a no....no for me
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that most people use all they have to prepare for the wedding and don't plan adequately for after the wedding (the marriage). Why would you spend your last kobo on your wedding and become indebted afterwards? It doesn't make sense to me. It is better to plan well ahead for the marriage and invest wisely for a solid family and your children yet unborn. #mytwocents
ReplyDeleteIts common among yoruba people, they like party so they can borrow 2 do party.. my husbands friend is a yoruba man and he is married, he borrows money 2 do everything in his life be it wedding o, childbirth o, naming ceremony, birthday .. na wao! He can never cut his coat according to his size..
ReplyDeleteSome will borrow even to do something as cost friendly as a naming ceremony
DeleteSome borrow inanticipation of the brown/white envelopes they'd be given and the money that would be sprayed at the reception but whossai?!! Only to get disappointed with the wads of twenty naira notes in their collection bags...lolz
ReplyDeletePeople should learn to cut their coats according to their cloth
You are not even allowed to owe your respective vendors after the whole ish.
I don't support borrowing money to wed. I believe pple borrow expecting 2 get the money back during the course of the wedding lyk spraying them money and also cash gifts. But if the reverse is the case, how do they then expext 2 pay back?
ReplyDeleteCut your coat according 2 your size. You musn't use a new suit to wed if you can't afford it. Dry clean the old one you have and I bet you it will look new. That's if what you have will not be enuf 2 gt you a new 1. Ladies can also rent their gowns instead of borrowing 2 buy a new one.
Also you should have a budget 4ur wedding based on your finances. Whatsoever you spend should be based on the budget. Think of life after the wedding. too and not only wedding day.
I know many people.would have different opinions here and most people would say ' God.forbid' when they actually.did.it during their time.
ReplyDeleteDuring our wedding, we didn't have to borrow but we made a very big mistake which I always advice people against now. We did a VERY big wedding (church people brought in cash gifts before then). And at the end of the day we were really broke for the first few months. Now, when I look back, I just wonder why I was so naive that I couldnt even think of suggesting we invest with that money and just conduct a small wedding. I learnt a lot after then. You do not try to create an Impression at your own detriment.
It was a big lesson to me.
I think one must face realities , in my case my family hijacked the wedding and started dictating to my husband what and what they wanted and how they wanted it , since I come from a well to do home .
ReplyDeleteI sat him down and told him straight up no mind these people oooo, don't borrow let us cut our cloth according to size , am going to put my old clothes inside the box and just buy all the traditional items , I met my parents and told them Bobo yi assssalo ooooh , Kia Kia we wey no dey quick marry for house quickly they pipped down , wedding gown show from America , wedding ring was coming on the way , even when my bobo was doing aaaagidi that he had to buy it , and the blab blab blab told him omo just let's take it , when we are buoyant we will buy diamond ring , let's cut our coat , my dad then ordered all they aproko Iyawo iles not to open any box .
Fifteen years down the line , our watch word is no borrowing for anything .
Lol......you r very funny, but your courage works...... Only if other ladies will understand like this.
DeleteI know somebody that falls in this category ooo. Infact the trad is going on as I type,church is 2mao.
ReplyDeleteIf I narrate their story ehn,una no go believe. Even me sef wey d thing dey happen korokoro for my face,I sometimes think am dreaming.
No strength to type d whole gist.
This life na wa!
So no single person on this blog borrowed to wed. Na wa o
DeleteBiko all u of should do and sit down jare..
ReplyDeletemost of u borrowed.
Stella, yes we borrowed from my friend cos we ran out of cash. we got back 70% of what we spent on that day. From the money sprayed we paid her back that same day.
Daluu nuuo. Ndi akpa asi.
I was just coming to comment and saw you spoke my mind.
DeleteTwo fundamental truth:
There's no couple without shishi that will set out to marry by borrowing.
There is almost none couple that didn't take credit while wedding.
So people should be realistic in making a distinction from debt-financing a wedding and taking credit while planning a wedding.
Dont mind them. Some are still paying while some will still borrow.
DeleteBiko kam jee nkposi
They are not borrowing to marry, they are borrowing to hold a wedding. Marrying is very cheap, having a wedding trad and white and feasting the crowds is what cost money.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am not into big weddings, I prefer to save my money for an awesome honeymoon or no less than 3 weeks, or a house purchase.
I will never borrow money to do any funfare, if its not for business, i won't borrow!
ReplyDeleteAny man wen marry eka sorrow don jam Badu Badu lucku, u sef wan marry? Asawo dey marry?
ReplyDeleteKikikikiki
DeleteMs Stella, I will call you out on this particular post because, whenever I express my POV on some people asking for help for frivolous things and making extravagant marriage proposals, you never posted. I hope you will post this, because, I see similar comments to the previous comments I have written and you never posted.
ReplyDeleteAll comments I read, are claiming not to have borrowed, of course some are not telling the truth! The demands and pressure from some families can push the groom to borrow money to satisfy the bride's family. And some brides wanna be attitude push them to borrow, because they want to be featured in the media. The societal expectation pushes couples to borrow to meet the standard. All of which is wrong!
Some argue thst marriage is once in a lifetime. That is why they will leave no stone unturned, but they will pay debts for years to come! My marriage was simple. Both families played their roles. We did not borrow. We used the money gifts to furnish our home and feed.
Ms Stella, put your words into action and stop encouraging people who wants to celebrate birthdays, and asking for walkers and rockers. They should also live within their means.