Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.

Remi are you reading this?......wake up,wake up,clear out your eyes,you got mail addressed to you oooooh!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE/PLEA NOT TO BE RUN OVER

REASONS FOR MOVING ON...

During my first degree (here in Canada), I met a Yoruba girl from Ondo (I am from the north) and we kicked it off almost immediately. We were 2 years inseparable. We broke up eventually, and a couple of weeks ago at a 4 way intersection, this very girl (driving) nearly ran me (on foot) over. Since pedestrians always have right of way, I proceeded to cross.  As soon as I started crossing, from a full stop she drove towards me at speed. She was the only car at the stop then. I would not be typing this if I did not quickly realize that. Why? I am not sure. But, if it was because it never worked out between us, I will like to use this medium (which she introduced me to) to let her know why it did not and apologize once and for all. 

“I love you, it will be awesome if you will be my girlfriend” was my exact words to you, Remi. To the guys, this means; we like you, we will be with you, we will do all the fun, stupid, wrong and right things together, and IF EVENTUALLY we realize we cannot do w/o you, then comes the marriage. I am not sure how the girls understand this statement, if different, on behalf of the boys, we are sorry. I understand it was your childhood dream to marry a "mallam" from the north (what you told me). Before I get into this, I want to thank you for being in my life. You were an awesome being with a beautiful soul. You loved generously. You put in 200 percent effort, but your mallam still left. Below is is  reason;

The facetime with your parents. Do not do this with your new boyfriend. Let him meet them when he is comfortable enough. I was not ready for those JAMB abi Access Bank Aptitude Test questions from your parents. 

Some of the questions your parents asked me were from mars...(my response in bracket)

• Are you raised by both parents – parents still married or divorced? (still married) 

• Are they both Christians? (yes) 

• Are you the first child? ( yes) 

• When will you be done from school? (2 years)

• What do you intend to do after that? (settle down)

• Are you a Christian? (yes)

• Are you baptized? (yes) 

• Baptized as a child or an adult?  (as a child, confirmed as an adult) *

• Do you know this practice is biblically wrong ?*( is it a denominational debate?) 

• What is the evidence of your baptism? (Presence of Holy Spirit?) 

• Do you have the Holy Spirit? (yes)

• How do you know? (I speak in tongues) 

• Ehen.. so what do you want with my daughter? (friendship) 

• What kind of friendship? ( The normal one.. if it leads to marriage, that will be great) 

• how long do you intend to do this "normal friendship"  (yawn)

•       I hope you do not intend climbing her (in my mind, she is not a tree sir)

•       You boys of nowadays have lots of energy and want to always practice (in my mind, I am practicing celibacy sir)

•        I mean it, each time we come visiting we will examine her (okay sir)

• How long do you think your "normal friendship"will expire to lead to marriage -you signalled 2 with fingers (I said 2 years) 

• Okay. Does she look like a punching bag to you ( No sir) 

• Good. The day I hear you turn her to a punching bag, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will...  

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•       Let us pray. Na so interview end.  

I understand your parents wants the best for you, but I think that is too much info for a two or three day old relationship. Truth is, I moved on that same day. I was afraid of not meeting up their expectation of me eventually. I am sorry I should have told you. How could I have when I just asked you out two, three days ago? This has culminated in me lying to you serially for two years. In my mind, since we do not have sex, is as good as we being 'normal" friends. Afterall that was what I promised your parents. But now I realize emotions is as good as sex and even more. I am sorry. 

I am sorry for the trauma you went through (I remember you enrolling in CIA school of crack a bf's facebook and phone passcodes), it was that bad. Sorry for all you found. Jesus gave his life for sinners, but there is still sin in the world. You gave everything a man could ask for. Nothing was wrong with you. I wish you a better person. 

Please find it to forgive, forget and move on. Do not run me over  when I am on foot, and do not chose a head on collision when I am driving in an oncoming traffic. All the best this life can offer you my only true friend. 

Yours Mallam 

There s no easy way to breaking somebody's heart.I just wish you were not interrogated so much to put you off.Why didnt you explain this to her earlier?Remi i hope you find it in your heart to forgive him?God bless you both but i wont lie my mouth hung open at the questions her parents asked you.