Hmmmm..na wah!...We all need Solomon's wisdom indeed!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
BROUHAHA CAUSED BY 'UNCLE'S TRAFFICATING HANDS
Hello Stella.I need advice please.
I have been dating my boyfriend for close to two years now.He introduced me to his family after eight months of dating and though i met his parents at different times because they are separated they both loved and approved of me or so i thought.
All was well until few days back. It was my baby's birthday and i decided to spend the night. He had a few friends over(all guys) including one of his dads friends who we call uncle. Boo has a big place so this man brings his concubines to the house since he is married. The man in question is very jovial and quite young so boo and i had no issues with him and my boyfriend even dedicated one of the rooms to him and his escapades.
So on my boyfriends birthday we were all having fun with uncle giving me gist on how lucky i am to have my boyfriend while i was cooking. Finished cooking and boo asked me to go dish my own food and eat so i went to do as i was told. I dished my food, turned around and lo and behold standing before me was our uncle looking at me seductively.
I was so uncomfortable so i just smiled and asked him if he was ready to eat.
The he goat instead looked at me and touched my boobs. I was about to warn him sternly not to ever try that shit with me again but then baby walked into the kitchen and the uncle quickly took the food from me as if that was what he came for and walked out. Babe noticed something was up with me and asked but i refused to talk because i basically didn't want to ruin his day. So i just, asked him if he thought uncle was high and he said no.
I told my boyfriend i don't want the man around me ever again and walked off to the room. Mind you while we were talking uncle came back trying so hard to get my boyfriend out of the kitchen. Guess he was scared i would tell him.
Boo kept pestering me to talk to him so i finally told him what happened. Babe could not take it and went straight to confront him. As expected he denied it flat.
Babe called me to the parlor and asked me to repeat what i told him which i did in detail. Uncle still kept denying and asking God what he did to deserve this. It was then boo's friends confirmed they had caught him checking me out many times.
I was stunned, boo was mad and the fight started.The more uncle denied the angrier my boyfriend became, his friends and i tried to calm him down but he would not bulge. I felt so insulted so i packed my bag and told boo am going to my house. This was at about 10pm. He was still begging me to stay when uncle matched to the door, opened it and asked me to walk out.
I was stunned, boo was so mad he just went straight and gave the man a good beating.
I must say i felt honored my boyfriend stood up for me like that. We eventually got him out of the house, my boyfriend apologised to me for getting harassed in his house, called his dad and reported the matter.
The next day after i had gotten to my house. I got a call from my boyfriend's dad asking me what happened the previous day which i narrated. He asked me if i was sure it was his friend that touched me and i said i did not drink anything so i could not have made a mistake plus there were four other males in the house that why would i pick the one we all had so much respect for to lie against.
He apologised but the next thing he said shocked me. He said i acted like a child that i should have kept it to myself. That his son took his friend as an uncle but now i have ruined everything even though they have not married me. He also said he did not raise his son to beat up his elders but now he(my bf) has done that all because of me. I was too surprised to talk any long story so i just said sorry sir.
He ended the call by saying good luck marrying my son.
I have not and do not intend to tell my boyfriend because i don't want to be the cause of any father-son feud.
My question is this, did i do anything wrong by telling my boyfriend what his dad's friend did to me? And am i safe in this relationship now that i have managed to purchase his father's dislike?
I honestly don't think i owe anybody an apology but how do i get dad to like me again. Boo is seriously talking marriage and his friend whispered into my ears that he already went ring shopping.
I need advice on what to do before things get our of hand.
*The Uncle might have been drunk to have acted that way,whatever it was,your boyfriend had no right beating him up at all..And you should have handled this in a mature way...you could have chosen another day to tell your boyfriend this and not on his birthday,you could have waited until the next day when the man was gone.....
The damage has been done,I dont know how you can rectify it but if you marry this man and do not try to settle all these issues first,you will end up breaking up the whole family.Look for a way to meet with the dad and settle things...Whether you like it or not,you marry a man and his family!
Your boo seems quick to anger and then he beat up an older man?you better be careful becos he will not spare you too when it gets hot.
I would have handled this differently if i was you...
Do you know the story of Helen of Troy?lol
Wisdom Lord we pray....
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's friend did same thing to me when we were dating,I told him when he had gone and we just laughed over it.
DeletePls is not everything that happens in ur relationship that u bring to blog
DeleteWhat do u want us to advice u on now?
Goodluck
Poster, U did the right thing.
DeleteNow to remedy the situation, plead with ur boyfriend for both of U to apologise to the man for the beating. Note, the apology is for the beating not for what U did... the important thing is that ur boyfriend will trust U more. There may also be need for U to visit his dad with him and have a talk, apologise to him for the disrespect shown to his friend because of U.
Good luck dearie, I feel ur pain. What will be, will be. E-hugs!
My hubby's friend did same thing to me when we were dating,I told him when he had gone and we just laughed over it.
DeleteYou don't seem to worry about why your boo let's this uncle bring in different girls to his house, even gave him one room for his nonsense and you think you boo is a saint? Can't even take that shit mahn.you seem to be okay with it?
DeleteIt's wrong beating up his uncle but the uncle too messed up. Why are u comfy with the uncle bringing girls to the house and the uncle sef lost respect by bringing girls. Also with Wat ur boo's dad said, I think it's possible the father is doing something like that too. Just imagine if that was done to his biological daughter he for call police. Just try and make it right but b careful goodluck
DeletePoster, read my words and read them good. You did the right thing and don't let anyone (not even stella) tell you otherwise!
DeleteGeez Stella what are u even saying? Why shld a man who isn't my bf or husband touch my breast, for what now? This poster is even too soft. If it were me, I would slap that Randy uncle to Jerusalem and back to lagos. What guts. For him to touch the posters boobs means he has no respect for her, and so the poster did the right thing by telling her bf. And Pls she owes no one any apologies. Not her FIL, nor the Randy loose man. If it were her FIL's daughter that had been touched by his friend, how wld he feel? Wldnt he have shot the friend at close range by now? Haba. And u people are here saying she shldnt have told her bf. Stella I'm highly disappointed in ur words. Pls learn to call a spade a spade. It's not cos she wants marriage that she'll now take shit from this type of man. Abeg poster pray for a better bf if possible cos even this ur bf get comma. For him to be giving his uncle a room in his house to be committing adultery says a lot about him.
DeleteNina you are 100% correct. No woman should take nonsense from anyone not even inlaws, poster you did what is right, he is lucky you didn't slap him or heat him with an object right there in the kitchen.
DeleteNina you are 100% correct. No woman should take nonsense from anyone not even inlaws, poster you did what is right, he is lucky you didn't slap him or hit him with an object right there in the kitchen.
DeleteHmmmmm omo see gbege ur boo went too too far sha.
ReplyDeleteMake I sit down read comments.
Poster u did well by telling ur boyfrnd. That is sexual assault. If i were the one, I Wud slap the man so hard everyone will hear it and then come and ask questions.
DeleteYour boyfrnd's beating was also needed. He knows the man better than u do. For crying out loud he is an irresponsible man, so I can imagine ur boyfrnd's anger. (He gives him a room for his sexual pleasure and he still wants to touch his own babe and do same thing to her). The beating was needed.
That ur father in law to be is jst like his Frnd too. Useless men. I Dnt knw what to advise u on him oo. But for the sake of peace and 'I must marry boo'. I guess u shud go and apologise to ur father inlaw even if u avent done anything wrong, just apologise.
Pple advising u dat ur boo will beat u too when he gets angry, Dnt listen to them. Have ur boo ever beaten u before? Do u see signs of him beating u?
Besides I knw many guys that hit their fellow men, but can never hit a lady. So Dnt listen to them.
The best way to make up is to call the 'uncle' nd let him finish wat he started.give him a nice fuck n ask him to beg ur parents in law to be onur behalf while u plead wit. Ur husband on his behalf n tell him dat he shld let everythin go back to the way it was.shikena
DeletePOSTER DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
DeleteToo bad and I understand why you had to tell your boyfriend what happened. I probably wouldn't have done so, knowing how men are but I also think your boyfriend should have handled it better.
ReplyDeleteNow it's you against his family who will not understand or see why it had to go that far to the extent of your boyfriend beating up his "uncle".
Needless to say, I'm sure if he hadn't discovered. This uncle would have found a way to stop your relationship anyway since you scolded him for what he did already.
Men don't like to be turned down.
I'd just tell you to pray and keep praying. It's your boyfriend that still has the final say unless his father brings up a stronger reason why you two shouldn't get married then I don't see why this should stop him if he really wants you for a wife.
You should call that uncle and apologise though, yes it's hard but do it for peace. Tell your boo infact beg and force him if need be to apologise to this uncle.
Tell him you're asking him to do so because he shouldn't have beat an elderly man up even though you think he deserved it.
I don'y know what the issue here is with all this rebuking of the poster for doing the right thing.
DeletePoster was not wrong in telling her boyfriend. In fact, the sooner the better before the Randy man cooked up lies.
DeleteGod bless u anon, even the father in law is a stupid man, birds of a feather flock together, if he wasn't doing the same rubbish his friend was doing, his wife wouldn't have left him, poster I advise u and ur boo to tell ur mother inlaw about wats happening u both need her support now, and yes I would do wat u did over and over again, i know my baby he will do the samething ur boo did and he and his uncle will never talk again, Stella ur comment no follow at all
DeletePoster, dont apologise to any for harrassing you! Nothing wrong with telling your bf. I would have said maybe you should have told him another day but who knows if the man have gone to tell your bf or father-in-law another story. Maybe apologise to father-in-law. Tell him you didnt mean for things to escalate.
DeleteWell, if I were u, I would have concealed it very well n warn d man sternly, trust me, if u warn him n sees u ain't joking he wouldn't try it n avoid him like plague. There r so many secrets we keep for peace to reign. Well, goodluck! Hope ur boo won't regret hitting his 'uncle' later.
ReplyDeleteExactly, my bf dad, now Father in law fingered me in my sleep, I jumped up n almost screamed, but I didn't, I landed him a slap, he knelt down n begged me not to tell, I didn't tell anyone till now I'm typing it, this man was so loyal that before he died he showed me his will, asked for forgiveness n applauded me for not telling anyone what he did 16yrs ago, I was named d sole beneficiary of his two houses in abuja, his son was stunned n happy for me, wife shouted that her husband really liked me, none knew d truth. I never felt bad, I just pitied him then.
DeleteLies
DeleteSame here. My aunts hubby groped my boobs when I was lying down when my aunt went to ease herself. The look I gave him. He started apologizing. I just kept quiet. The next day he knelt down and was begging me not to tell anyone. I just fell sorry for him and forgave him. And watched him and he didn't try such again. Although he tried to frustrate my stay pitting me against my aunt. I just ignored provided u don't sexually or physically assault me. But in this situation U DID RIGHT THING. The man doesn't seem remorseful,he is useless u don't owe him anything.
DeleteAnon 17:02 na wa things dey happen o
DeleteAnon 17:02 tell me you are joking.
DeleteLike Stella dellavega said upstairs, babe your boo should also stop the so called 'uncle' from bringing women to his house, for peace to reign, you and your boo should goan beg him for forgiveness bcos off the beating.
Anon. 17:02, if it were ur little daughter he fingered, am sure u will keep ur mouth shut so that he will include ur family members inside his will. Yeye dey smell.
DeleteWhat? Your bf was wrong for raising his hands on that man, that's not our culture. But thank God, the man is just your FIL's friend not a real family member. Just follow Stella's advice and go and beg your FIL.
ReplyDeleteAbove all, tell your bf to work on his temperament, also, be careful while dealing with your bf, he's a man who's not man enough that can't control his anger
*Larry was here*
Poster, first your bf should not be allowing anyone turn his house to a mini-brothel at your knowledge. That got me 👀 Because you need to be an assistant ashawo to be friends with a professional one. Its probably in that boldness that his uncle decided to touch you. You need to observe your bf vet well, except of course you're comfortable with him cheating.
DeleteNext, apologize where necessary. Kneel and cry and say u felt molested. And tell his dad you're not lieing. Don't say that infront of the uncle to avoid more arguments. But no more using your house again. Obviously, bfs dad womanizes too. So that's story for another day.
Next, after you've done all this. Chill. If they don't what u to marry their son, chill. Don't fight it. You did the right thing. And you know what? You can't put a good woman down. Have that at the back of your mind, no matter what happens.
I would have handled it differently also but since the deed has been done. That settles it then but i really do not see a reason why you as a woman will be okay with a married man bringing women in to your boyfriend's house and he has a wife at home I presume ....
ReplyDeleteI hope you understand the kinda foundation you already laid in your relationship. You should be more bothered about that as far as I'm concerned.
Exactly!!
DeleteSeconded
DeleteMy exact thoughts too. That's the genesis of this mess.
DeleteTee
I would have handled it differently also but since the deed has been done. That settles it then but i really do not see a reason why you as a woman would be okay with a married man bringing women in to your boyfriend's house and he has a wife at home I presume ....
ReplyDeleteI hope you understand the kinda foundation you already laid in your relationship. You should be more bothered about that as far as I'm concerned.
Stella you just said my mind and saved me long typing
ReplyDeletePoster look for a way to make it up
Special Angel long time. my regards to ur boy, Richie miss him. guess who?
DeleteNa waah. This is serious
ReplyDeletePoster you made a mistake by telling your boo. you shouldn't have, now everyone will see you as a gossip who causes trouble. You have ruin the relationship between your bf and the "uncle", and believe me his friends and parents will start to see you as a bad person. And the dad is right dem never marry you, you don dey cause wahala.
ReplyDeleteU no get sense, women are always their own problem. I wish you same tin dis poster is goin tru. Becos of marriage she should throw her morals in the gutter, that's y u are a gwegs, btw I'm happily married,becos I have sense.
DeleteDesperado!!!!!!! It's women like you that will sit back and let their husbands abuse their daughters.
DeleteYour be is a mad man,and you re childish good luck
ReplyDeleteDid you even read the Chronicle?
DeleteDid you even read the Chronicle?
DeletePls type in yoruba if English is too hard for you.
DeleteTheres no way you could have swept it under the rug, your boo walked in and sensed the tension in the air, you had to come clean b4 he figures out wrong & assumes youre giving him greenlight, abi?? if the uncle attempted such with no one around, ehe.. that you'd have kept to urself after a stern warning or slap join sef. Lots of girls gets their ass spanked & boobs grabbed unlawfully, but they keep it away from their boo, just to save his heart from beating 2wice faster than normal.... i suggest you find time to go pay boo father an impromptu visit, apologise to him regardless, & make him see reasons with you, then let the chips fall where they may, youve done your best.
ReplyDelete#Salladhor Saan: I've been all over the world, my boy, & everywhere I go people tell me about the 'true gods', they all think they found the right one. The one true god is what's between a woman's legs. And better yet a queen's legs.
IMO, she is easily readable, if it were me, he won't suspect jack, I would have been so bland to the point d uncle himself would have so uncomfortable.
Delete#Daenerys Targaryen: The First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khalisee of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.
Delete[pause. Then Khal Moro bursts out laughing, and so are his companions. He grabs Daenerys' neck]
Khal Moro: You are nobody, the millionth of your name, Queen of Nothing, slave of Khal Moro. Tonight I will lie with you, and if the Great Stallion is kind, you will give me a son. Do you understand?...
If she didn't talk chances are uncle will have told bf that she seduced him. And that would have meant her denying. The man is shady as it is
DeleteSometimes Stella advices off point. That kind agbaya uncle that carries girls to a younger guy's house deserves little respect. Do you know what he did is called "sexual assault"? If it was me I would have acted on impulse by giving him a resounding slap, marry family ke? Which kind useless family ? She should watch that her future step dad o because birds of a feather flock together.
ReplyDeleteFuture father in law jare, where step dad come from? I drink? I been no drink o
DeleteTwale for this your comment, hide what? So the uncle will do worse. The father inlaw is in cohorts with the uncle and maybe they planned it as a test but never expected this result.
DeleteExactly!
DeleteI concur with you.
DeleteThank u Samantha. Imagine Pple saying she wudnt have talked. Rubbish. What if the case was that the man touched a little gal in the house, and the poster told her boyfrnd, Wud u Pple say 'she wudnt ave talked'. So becos he's a grown up she shudnt voice out when been assaulted. Rubbish. Irresponsible men getting away with their wrong deeds all the time becos sum Pple decide to keep quite. Better speak out. Such uncles sef can even set u up and cause a fight between u and ur boo. Annoying humans.
DeleteThank you o jareeh for saying the truth. These stella's loyal disciples would repeat whatever she says just to make her and themslvs feel better. At least one person can say the right thing!
DeleteSamantha you're my surnamesake. Omere doh
DeleteI agree
DeleteHmmmmmm, it's a good thing your boo defended and believed you. But if only you gave it a thought. but I can imagine you felt irritated by the uncle's action and insulted hence the reason you told your boo. Find a way to get back into the good books of your boyfriend's dad. Cos if not, marrying boo will have some ish
ReplyDeleteAbeggy, get back into which good books. Poster, that your bf father sounds like someone who will take your 'apology visit' as an invitation for sex etc. Please you have apologized enough in my opinion. Keep your distance away from uncle and father. Be very respectful (polite) yet firm to everyone and most importantly pray. And stop having pre-marital sex!
DeleteAbeggy, get back into which good books. Poster, that your bf father sounds like someone who will take your 'apology visit' as an invitation for sex etc. Please you have apologized enough in my opinion. Keep your distance away from uncle and father. Be very respectful (polite) yet firm to everyone and most importantly pray. And stop having pre-marital sex!
DeleteAre you that desperate for marriage that you would condone silence in abuse? I'm shocked that women are supporting Stella. This same cray Stella would have beaten the uncle and even the father sef. Scheew.
DeleteStella, please I disagree with you on this. Poster, you did the right thing and you owe no one an apology. What kind of uncle is that? This same uncle may rape you any other day and you'd send in chronicle and people will blame you of not telling boo the first time it happened. And the beating he got serves him right.
ReplyDeleteDont mind her, next she will.marry the guy and uncle will sneak into her room and threaten her with this event and keep gbenshing her till the day alarm go blow, then everyone will blame her for not speaking up when it started. Babe dont worry abeg, if its your fate you will marry him if not a better option will come. Who knows God may be silently saving you from a DV husband too. Everything happens for a reason sha. Hold on and keep your head straight, dont beg no FIL nada. Elder should know his place.
DeleteI concur except with the beating. Dude could have calmed down and maybe ban the so called uncle from coming to his house
DeleteADA, The beating was needed. Soo needed. Picture this thing in ur head( I give u room to be bringing gals, it wasn't enough for u, u now decided to want to touch my own woman too). Rubbish. The beating was Soo needed. What is it was a little gal the man touched, will u also say the 'boyfrnd's beating was too much?
DeleteThe stupid uncle deserved every slap he got. Useless thing that can't keep his dick to himself. Poster, you did absolutely nothing wrong, don't mind these hypocrites on here bashing you.
DeleteJanet says.....Poster was NOT responsible for her bf's reaction. He chose to beat his uncle which EVERY woman would appreciate. The uncle is a sick sexual pervert and I can assure you the bf has seen his uncle do things with other women that made him that angry that his uncle is putting you on their level.
DeletePoster this thing that happened is a blessing. Now your future marital home will no longer be a brothel and the men in your bf's life will learn to respect you both as a couple.
I agree wit stella,u acted too fast.
ReplyDeleteStella, your red ink no follow abeg. Handle what differently? I would have slapped the so-called uncle hard if I were in your shoes. Drunk and he couldn't get one of his thots over? Abeg!
ReplyDeleteThese supposed elders keep talking from both sides of their mouths. My MIL should get married to your FIL already. Kmt
Go to boo's dad house and mk smends. Yes u didn't insult him but u n ur guy disrespected him.Get ur guy to go wt u to try n soften his mind.Also,dt uncle would look for a way to uproot u so get ur boo to also find a way to apologise YES!!! at times we do such for us to hv peace
ReplyDeleteAssuming it was ur daughter that was groped u won't tell her sternly to get rid of that relationship. You'll tell her to apologize after being sexually assaulted. Some women are so funny. Apologizing will mean what that man did was good. Elders should know their place and not stoop so low. Yes there are times apology is needed to let peace reign but not in this case abeg. Stella if u like don't post this what u said to the poster is terrible e better make u no use ur red pen at all. Wetin maturity get to do with sexual assault. Persin wey fit rape u next time coz u kept quiet! Poster abeg if d relationship doesn't work out God understands left to me you're better off without the guy and the useless father/father figure in his life. Don't apologize u will lose ur dignity/respect.
DeleteAre you freaking kidding me? If anyone deserves an apology, it's that poor girl that was sexually assaulted. You must have lost every atom of self esteem in you for you to dish out such an advise!
DeleteShe won't lose any dignity. Her guy should apologise for beating up d uncle but it must be made clear dt d apology was for dt(beating an elder) and also,reminded dt his actions towards d young lady was out of line. This is because she intends to go into dt family for life.Its too early to hv enemies
DeleteAnd so? What if she's going into d family? Is that why she should start being insulted? Pls ehis don't say this abeg. What her bf did isn't wrong in anyway, since the uncle decided to disrespect himself be deserves the beating he got. I'm even more bothered about her bf and his type of family than the yeye uncle.
DeletePla who know's d time dey show Jenifa's diary on televista? And where can I download it? Stella pls post,i really need answers
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm very tough one
ReplyDeleteFirstly, your boyfriend should not have beat up that man. No matter his crime, he is still an elder and somebody's father. That is my own opinion
Secondly, you shouldn't have told him on his birthday, thereby spoiling his day. I know what the man did is bad and demeaning but at least, you should've let the day pass and the yeye man gone before u tell him.
Thirdly, you should watch that guy and his temper closely before you marry him to avoid stories that touch. You both should go and visit una Daddy, tell him your own side of the story and try to make him understand.
Lastly, don't break up with your man because of one yeye, frivolous man. Hold him tight if he loves you, treats you right and you love him too. Your love will win
Yes !
DeleteI think the guy's got a temper!
Beat up someone who is ur dad's friend cos he touched ur Gf boobs?
Am no saying he did right but the guy over did things!
Some of u bv's are low life's and think so lowly of yourselves. See this one saying 'cos he touched ur gf boobs'. It's people like u this ibukun that ur husband or bf offers to male visitors as kola. Pls loose this mentality. In as much as I'm not in support of violence, I'm proud of the guy for just 5 mins for brushing his uncle. He respects his gf and doesn't see her as a 'thing', or 'tool'.
DeleteNaija for life. Of course it's the girls fault. Smh. Don't listen to them my dear. Its the he goats fault. Not yours
ReplyDeleteNo its the guy's fault
DeleteHe shouldn't have beaten the man!
Nigerians will always favour the Male species.
DeleteStella am just sorry for the kind of bashing u would get for this your opinion. Sexual molestation should not be accepted in any way, be it the uncle or the boy's father sef. Wil he sound same way if it was his daughter? Women are always been blamed for men's bad behavior. Useless man, I wonder how many pple he must have molested or raped. He deserved every treatment he got That should give him a good lesson.... If that was my bf and he didn't stand for me the way your guy did, that's d end simple
ReplyDeleteDon't mind Stella, if it was her own biological daughter, would she tell the girl she was wrong for speaking up immediately? Sometimes, she should learn to personalize these chronicles, only then can she give constructive advise
Deletestella your advice to her is wrong.you sounded like its her fault,and you are kind of supportin the uncle
ReplyDeleteCan u imagine?i swear down I hate people like dis,so u can't keep dis to ur self and warned d old fool not to try dat with u again?and do u think u can enjoy dat home for what happened?caus I know ur father inflaw would never forgive u,and were u happy wen ur boo beat d man? I don't even know what to say to u, dis chronicle disgust me alot😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteHow will she feel when they get married ....she will never be in her father's in law good book
Why be in his good book. He should have called to apologize not to blame her. Useless father. He probably does such to other people's daughters
DeleteThis ibukun thing should shut it... oh please. If that's what it takes to be in a randy old man's good book, then it's not in any way worth it. Poster, be very weary of your so called FIL, he's exactly like that crazy friend of his!
DeleteThat uncle is lucky, if I were in your shoes that plate of food would have covered his face.perverts everywhere.
DeleteYour boyfriend's father will do worse if left alone with you. The old man and the said uncle are of the same caucus. God save you.
ReplyDeleteAnd the guy go beat hin papa too nah
DeleteI'm telling you DonMayor! Poster better start to shine your eyes for that family oh, this one your bf even accepted to be housing his uncle when the uncle wants to sleep with whores how are you sure your bf wouldn't do same to you when you guys are married. Abeg oh, if he can condone such then I think he can do such oh! Watch out!
DeleteWhys everybody saying shit, that she shouldn't have tell ? I think Stella form so many people's opinion here. Think outta box mehn !
DeleteYour boyfriend beat up his uncle and you felt happy without you thinking that it's going to backfire on you. You and your boyfriend need to grow up if this is how you handle sensitive issues .
ReplyDeleteSound it!
DeleteThey are sleeping!
Welmy, well, well. You need string prayers yonstaybin that marriage. You shouldn't have told your bf, you should have blood for a way around it. Let God fix it
ReplyDeleteYou are sleep-typing. Wakeup!
DeleteSounds like your boo is a yahoo boy. All this yahoo boy love, I pity you
ReplyDeleteStella I beg to disagree with you. Poster you did a good thing by telling. If you had kept it to yourself, uncle would have taken it to mean you like it. He will then use it as blackmail you and by then you won't be able to tell ur boo again. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The man was meant to stop else he will rape you one day in d absence of your dh.
ReplyDeleteFear your father in law sef cause he's also like his friend.
About the beating, he deserved it. We all have to start a defence against molesters.
Forget your father in law love abeg. He no matter. Go ahead and marry your man if and when he proposes.
A father's in law love doesn't matter?
DeleteOK nah👏
Thank you Muah! You get sense abeg
DeleteIbukun may you hubby ir father in law sleep with your daughters,say Amen.Useless person
Delete@ Anonymous 18:15👏
DeleteWhy are u taking it personal?
Don't worry about my future or that of my daughters ....God has that
We can't both see things in same light nah
No need to curse abeg
Yeah, we cant all see things from the same light. That's why you are countering every come against your opinion. Hiss.
DeleteFather-in-law sef is suspect.
Poster if your boyfriend is rich, just ignore his father and the uncle. U guys won't be asking them for anything. Just be a good girl to him bcos he has the final say.
ReplyDeleteIf your man is financially buoyant, he doesn't need to beg his father or uncle for anything. There will only be problem if the father is his helper.
U don't have to apologize for anything. The uncle is very irresponsible and stupid.
Lmao👏
DeleteNa you go collect the bride price abi???
DeleteAbi banks in that country now accept deposit for pride price?? That's good oh.....
If the girl is pretty only zenith bank will accept....
If she's wowo like linda eze, microfinance bank... Hahahahaha
James well said,but she needs to apologize to her boyfriend's father,or rather her boyfriend should apologize for beating uncle.
DeleteYes u did wrong!
ReplyDeleteYou acted like a child would! U shuld ve kept that to urself and avoid 'uncle' completely to prevent future occurrence.
You have to find a way to beg your bf to ask for uncle's forgiveness for beating him up even though 'uncle' was wrong.
Infact, follow him if u really want to marry him and have peace around you in that marriage.
Cos when things go wrong in future or when you have issues wt boo or boo misbehave, u will need his family.. his father most especially to be on your side.
May thunder never strike ur wisdom!
DeleteAbeg the fact that you were molested and you enjoyed it doesn't make it right. When it hapuns to u and ur daughter pls keep quiet don't voice out oo. Poster pls you did the right thing. Perverts every tufia
DeleteStella. Biko, No talk this thing I beg. It's better she told him immediately o, keeping such a thing to herself till another day could spark someting else. Her lucky star was that she had people to back up her story. because I believe if the friends hadn't chipped in, the gbege for dey her head. As for ur prospective FIL, I no know wetin to talk
ReplyDeleteHope you know your boo is going to read this chronicle? And he is going to find out about his Dad calling you?
DeleteImagine your boo giving his uncle space to cheat in his house...I wish the uncle brought a girl to your boo's house raped her and the parent of the girl will lock your boo and his uncle up
Nonsense and ingredient!!
Stella I don't agree with your red pen. Poster did the right thing by telling her boo, no one knew what the older man intended with his actions, he might even use it to blackmail her in the future. I love the fact that people were able to testify that the stupid uncle had been up to something. Shameless man bringing girls to his son's house to collect. Am surprised at the father in-law's judgement too. Birds of the same feather! Arrant nonsense, if this is why they won't like you again in their house, pls stay on your lane. You were 100% right my dear! I would do same!
ReplyDeleteExactly, she did the right thing reporting immediately before the devil will have time to turn tables
DeleteHmmmmmm na wa
ReplyDeleteYou and ur boyfriend should go and meet the uncle and settle with him
ReplyDeletehow? The uncle should be the one trying to settle this....Girl..u did the right thing
DeleteExactly!
DeleteThe guy's friends already confirmed he had been looking at her seductively ,all they would have done is just let the uncle they are aware but hell no! They shouldn't have laid hands on him!
He is his fathers friend and I'm sure the man would have done some things to the guy codedly to help him for the guy to even dash him a room for his escapades!
What were u expecting from such a man!
Meet which useless uncle,the boyfriend should just beg his dad.
DeleteThis is how it starts. U did well by telling him
ReplyDeleteStella i am surprised at ur counsel. let me say you got it wrong this time
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people ask Stella for her red pen..I love Stella and all..bit i don't get it
Delete'Boo' dedicated a spare room for his married uncle to carry out his philandering.
ReplyDelete'Boo' sees nothing wrong in extra-marital affairs.
(I should be more concerned about this if I were you)
But 'boo' showed his red eye when this uncle wanted to seduce you.
And he beat up this uncle.
Ehya! Omashe o!
And you're now looking for how to broker peace between them. Awwww. Very good and very sweet of you.
Let me come and be going abeg.
Tell them!
DeleteIbukunoluwa wat ever, are you the Uncle Agbaya, this one u re jumping upandan to defend ur actions, biko repent and stop molesting young girls.
DeleteYou were very immature. Even when you marry men will hit on you, will you get your husband to beat or warn them all off? You could have easily pretended nothing happened then chosen another day to warn off your bf's randy uncle. Point is you have to handle these things yourself like a mature woman not run to your husband like a baby running back to mummy for protection when it is frightened. Think seriously of ending the relationship cos I don't think this can be mended. And anyway would your bf have continued to provided uncle with a 'slaughter' room after you are married? Men have a way of returning such favours. Maybe uncle felt you were fair game cause of what he knows or what your bf told him about you. His over reaction could be as a result of guilty conscience.
ReplyDeleteanon 15:55 u are so right. I give u 1million likes.
Delete😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteAbeggy let's hear word. Immature ko immature ni. If she didn't speak up and got raped you will still open your mouth to say she deserved it for not speaking out the first time! So please pocket your mouth! We don't need such advice here. Poster next time any guy, father-in-law or stranger, wants to try that with you slap him very hard on his ear side. Aim for deafness. Nonsense!
DeleteAbeggy let's hear word. Immature ko immature ni. If she didn't speak up and got raped you will still open your mouth to say she deserved it for not speaking out the first time! So please pocket your mouth! We don't need such advice here. Poster next time any guy, father-in-law or stranger, wants to try that with you slap him very hard on his ear side. Aim for deafness. Nonsense!
DeleteShe should end the relationship because...??? Pls get out with ur silly advice!
DeleteEverybody want to 'chook' mouth, even the ones that have not kept a man for 3months!
Slow down and watch how things turn out. Pay attention to details.
ReplyDeleteYou were very immature. Even when you marry men will hit on you, will you get your husband to beat or warn them all off? You could have easily pretended nothing happened then chosen another day to warn off your bf's randy uncle. Point is you have to handle these things yourself like a mature woman not run to your husband like a baby running back to mummy for protection when it is frightened. Think seriously of ending the relationship cos I don't think this can be mended. And anyway would your bf have continued to provided uncle with a 'slaughter' room after you are married? Men have a way of returning such favours. Maybe uncle felt you were fair game cause of what he knows or what your bf told him about you. His over reaction could be as a result of guilty conscience.
ReplyDeleteIt infuriates you to know she has a boyfriend who would be her rock and support at all times. And yes, there is nothing wrong in running to her boyfriend for help. And poster, your boyfriend is a good man, don't even think of ending the relationship. He was just angry at the thought of the uncle making advances at you. I'm sure he's not the violent type, pay no heed to what is been said here by some desperate gwegz.
DeletePoster sorry to say this but u acted so childish & the cause of the melodrama! U knw d temperament of ur boo & u told him in d middle of his party! Maturity would have avoided all these scenario! It's now a family issue which ur bf can't handle alone! The Uncle is like a father figure 2 him,so no well brought up son dares get 2 daat extent! He must apologize to d ssUncle to avoid his life bn cut short untimely! A word is enough 4 d wise!!!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you !
DeleteShut up biko because Stella talk, you sef must follow repeat. Can't you say your own. Na wa
DeletePoster ur boyfriends dad still like you,you are not the issue. When you grow older and have your own kids you wil undersatnd.tge son has showed the whole family that he is not safe with you, you have full control over him and his dad is not happy about it. That's why I said his son beat up and elderly person cos of you and tht was not how he was raised. It simply means he can do more for you. 2 things here.1 u marry him as a woman raper or you leave him to learn how to be a man and use his head and not his hands to solve problems.
ReplyDeleteSo because the boyfriend defended her from the idiotic uncle. Oh poster, I'm deeply sorry for you if you take the advises you read here. But then again, you brought your personal issue to a blog, what do you expect from financially challenged faceless people!
DeleteStella i would hv agreed with u if the boyfriend didn't walk in on them. She wouldn't know if he would behave childish. I dont blame the poster for spilling though because he insisted she did. The guy is freaky jealous. He could hv held his cool.
ReplyDeletePoster u did the right thing to share with your bf. If u didn't he would hv a different conclusion in his mind. Nd u owe nobody an apology.
I think u should find time to go and visit his dad. Explain to him in bits what transpired. Do so respectfully. Tell him u didn't know ur bf would react the way he did if not u would hv kept it to yourself.
I think that is the least u owe his dad. Never apologize to his Randy uncle. Just be very careful around him because dude will fuck u up.
Next time pls mind the kinda information u share with ur man. He is childish to handle truths.
I share everything with my husband nd he does same with me. No matter how awful the information is we always handle it maturely. That is what u should work on ur man.
Wishing u all d best in ur relationship.
That 'sharing' part is lovely. Apparently, many people here including Stella don't even seem to know what that means.
DeleteStella,I really do not understand your advice to this lady on this matter.A man who could look her in the eye & pointedly made such denial,what do you think he'd have said if the matter was left until the next day? Stella, how mature can you be,when your boyfrien's dad's friend grabs your boobs? That may have been the first move to a possible rape attempt? No marriage is worth condoning what the man did.For her boyfriend's father to choose to blame her says a lot about the kind of man he is.She is better of without the family entirely. I only feel for her boyfriend who clearly loves her.Any man would do what he did.what effrontery the gropping hands old man has, "opened the door & telling her to leave".He is crazu -Fresh
ReplyDeleteWell said...well said!!!
DeleteThank you oh Jare.
DeleteStella your advice was very wrong.
This should be one of the times you don't say anything with your red ink.
The Audacity.....
ReplyDeleteHe even held open the door for you to leave as a gateman that he is na..
An irresponsible prick that has got a personal room for shagging. Why won't your bf beat him when
Lmaoooooooo
DeleteI read this in Nkechi (Nedu's) voice
"Boo has a big place so this man brings his concubines to the house since he is married. The man in question is very jovial and quite young so boo and i had no issues with him and my boyfriend even dedicated one of the rooms to him and his escapades".
ReplyDeleteI had to go over this part again and again to be sure I read well. I wonder what your " boo" thinks he is doing hosting a wandering dick married man in his house to have his sexual escapades. And to think that you are comfortable with it, sleep in the same house and even bold to say it leaves me in shock. In your bid to get married quick, you failed to address issues staring you in the face.
Your "boo's" parents are separated you say? Do you know the reason? I can say boldly that boo's mum separated with boo's dad because of infidelity and the kind of wandering dick friends he keeps. Your boo thinks its cool to host such a man because he "has a big house" and the said man is a friend to his dad. You should have addressed that issue. You should have advised your boo against hosting such a man in his house. You should have made him see the danger in what he is doing. Suppose he marries you tomorrow and continues hosting the man in your matrimonial home, would you be comfortable with it? Did you even think about it? Suppose he marries you tomorrow and one of his friends starts hosting him in his " big house" for his sexual escapedes, what would you do? Did you think about that as well? A man that hosts another in his house for such show of shame is capable of doing the same thing. Take it to the bank!
Sweetheart, you didn't do your home work, so don't come here crying fowl. What were you expecting? Not to get harrassed? Hell no! You must be harassed. You should have expected it..or you didn't? You thought you would be spared? Hell no! You didnt see the danger facing you. You were only interested in cooking for the house,being the good girl and getting married.
Getting married in the misdst of all this mess screams danger. I don't know how you are going to go about getting back his love because frankly speaking, I'm dazed at your boo's father for saying you didn't handle it maturely. Would he say the same thing if his friend harasses his daughter that way?
Left to me, I CANNOT be married into a family with such baggage/drama(a would-be father in law supporting his friend for sexually harassing his would-be daughter In-law only makes me wonder what the future holds); but hey! You aren't me, so the choice is yours.
Receive strength to sort this out.
Bless you.
Boo and his uncle normally share all the girls the uncle bring to the house that's why he has the right to touch the poster's boobs
DeleteBest comment
DeleteGod bless u for dis u wrote
DeletePoster get in here!
DeleteRead this!
Best advice so far
Delete1 trillion likes boo
DeleteKisses to you chinz. Ibukun Pls pick a struggle. U seem to be a confused person, and a person without an opinion. Seems like u are a follow follow. One moment u blame the poster, next time u are saying something else.
DeleteStella,I really do not understand your advice to this lady on this matter.A man who could look her in the eye & pointedly make such denial,what do you think he'd have said if the matter was left until the next day? Stella, how mature can you be,when your boyfrien's dad's friend grabs your boobs? That may have been the first move to a possible rape attempt? No marriage is worth condoning what the man did.For her boyfriend's father to choose to blame her says a lot about the kind of man he is.She is better of without the family entirely. I only feel for her boyfriend who clearly loves her.Any man would do what he did.what effrontery the gropping hands old man has, "opened the door & telling her to leave".He is crazy -Fresh
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... This one pass me o... *scrolls down* Let me jus read comments.
ReplyDeleteShe acted immature! U could have just let it go or tell your man few days after that you detest the uncle. It is possible that your boyfriend and the man brings girls home and they swing.
DeleteStella has said it all, you could have chosen another day to tell your man but the deed has been done. Look for a way to get in touch with the man (Uncle) and apologize to him, also encourage your man to do same just to make peace reign while you keep waiting for the 1 million dollar question. Good luck
ReplyDeleteApologise to him for touching her boobs? smh....Next He will put his hands in her pants..and they will go back and apologise....smfh...If she waited to tell him the next day..the guy would ve still beaten up the man anyways....
DeleteYou are indeed very stupid for telling the poster to apologise to somebody who tried to sexually abuse her. When it happens to you, maybe then you can apologise. Until then, if you don't have anything better to say, it's best you keep quiet.
DeletePoster, i do not think you really want to marry a guy who encourages extra-marital affairs in his house and has such high regard for a man who does so.He is highly prone to do so.
ReplyDeleteI am kind of for and against your telling him.
Okay, do not beat up yourself too much for telling your boo, i think it was better at least for your safety and for issues of trust as well. Besides, i believe your boo already figures how irresponsible uncle is to press for an answer so bad.
However, my own share of headache in your matter, is his father calling you. There is an assignment here for you, and your boo's dad has given you the expo. Any concerned father would have totally sided you in this but he blamed you big time. Somehow, it makes me believe dad and uncle are same in character, to see no big deal in something somewhat scandalous. Then boo's dad is seperated from his wife abi.
Your assignment here, before you marry off a boo who stood up for you is this. You need to find out more about the lifestyle of uncle and your FIL to be. They obviously play a father role to your bobo. No matter how chilvarous your bobo has shown himself to be, the ugly lifestyle of his fathers will rear it's head someday. He already been providing a hide-out for uncle so cheating on his part must happen.
His Dad's marriage ended, find out how? What did his mother see in that marriage before it packed? Do the lowkey investigation on Uncle's home and marriage, what manner of wife does he have? You need t know if she is the woman in fool's paradise which would soon crash or the already subdued type. In between this men, lies your husband. Determine the depth your boo might sink, and the bravery of your heart to carry all before you enter the saturday bus.
Poster, to be honest with you,you could have kept quiet about it or even if you wanted to tell your bf,you should have chosen another day to speak out. You didn't handle the issue well at all cos you should have known from the times you spent with your boyfriend his type of temperament yet you chose the wrong time to tell.
ReplyDeleteThe deed has already been done. For your boyfriend to have beaten up an elderly man,he acted so wrong! You guys need to apologise to the uncle and your boyfriend's father too.
I wish you well.
OK. ..she keeps quiet. ...tell him the next day..then what? Dude would ve still beaten the guy up..haba Apologise to him for touching her boob's? ...smfh..You Nigerians and your stupid "elder" mentality...This elderly obviously have no respect for himself..so why should anybody respect him?Next he will rape her..and u idiots will still ask her to apologise cos it he4 fault
DeleteU shouldn't t have told him that day.
ReplyDeleteI will never discuss such sha,,,but an issue like this ruined my relationship!!!
His friend outsmarted me and said hateful things at me, when I told my ex, his friend wanted to sleep with me and I refused.......he asked y I was just telling him.
My dear,that one of the reasons I avoid boo"s family and friends.
In fact I hate Men
If you had told him immediately, maybe you'd be getting married soon
DeletePoster, You did nothing wrong in telling your boo what happened because if he had maybe found out from someone else, it would have been horrible. You owe no one an apology and I believe your FIL to be is just like his friend... shameless people, his friend is carrying side kicks to his son's home. awon jati jati... luckily "uncle" is not a blood relative.
ReplyDeleteHowever, though I am in support of the beat "uncle" received, I hope your boo won't feel the need to ever treat you same way. I know that it is cowardice for a man to hit a woman but to hit another man no be cowardice. Keep loving your boo, heaven alone knows why your MIL separated from her husband.
Exactly, hitting another man in defense for your babe does not in any way mean he's violent.
DeleteStella please wat in God's name are u saying!?she did d right thing..which one is touching her boobs?is he a fool? Isint it enough he brought in concubines..abeg dnt even be scared..d stupid man has nothing on your marriage so forget him..his Dad is so irresponsible to have said dat ,sorry to say..mtcheeww
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteI think you're matured atleast you informed your boo, cos most ladies won't but, the timing was wrong.
Yes very wrong timing.
That said, try and contact the uncle in open and apologies to him.
Secondly contact this dad as well as explain things to him and apologies. Let him see reasons with your action.
This will go a long way to foster your relationship with them.
This Stella sef
ReplyDeleteStella I so disagree with you on this, I like it that she told boo right away when the man was still there and the friends could back her up. Imagine what would have happenned if she had waited and told boo alone, the mab would deny and boo would have trust issues with her. My dear what will be, will be. If he is youra come hail or sand storm it will happen. The father should imagine it was his own daughter the friend did that too and how he would have liked it, when he does that he will think differently about the handling maturedly option he proffered.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Stella, you could have told Boo after Uncle had gone. Plus you have just heard from Dad, what do you think his mom would say. Try your best and settle the ish. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIf she had kept quiet that would give the man guts to pat her bum next.... if she had waited before telling the boo, the man would also see it as an opportunity to deny and keep on molesting her knowing fully well the see of mistruat has beeb sown and boo will not believe her again. Let an elder know his place and stop offending the younger ones. Age is seen as a clear sign of maturity and wisdom so if one decides to be stupid then treat him or her like a child chikena.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you took any wrong step...btw what kinda father is the man sef. Who knows if that that's what they do to their son's babe (the 2 old fools) smh sha
ReplyDeleteApologize to ur boyfriend's father and uncle and get your boyfriend to apologize too and if they dont accept ur apology,please walk away God will provide your own husband......it wont be easy thou
ReplyDeleteSisi whatever, please say anything but don't tell that poor girl to apologise to that old man who cant see he's too old for games.
DeleteGbam @anonymous 16:22 you took it right outta my mouth/hand
ReplyDeleteSome comments shock me. The uncle did not make verbal sexual advances at her , he sexually harassed her physically by touching her boobs. As a woman, I am certain I wouldn't be able to pretend nothing happened because, I would look harassed. If would be a different situation if her boyfriend was not in the house when this happened, then she might have had enough time to pull herself together but then who knows how far the uncle would have gone if he boyfriend wasn't in the house. My advice is, stay away from all parties involved in the mess. From FIL to uncle to boyfriend and his friends. Something doesn't seem right. It is a good thing you addressed it immediately otherwise you wouldn't see everything as clearly as you see it now. Physically sgresdive boyfriend that condones cheating, his friends that have no regards for his uncle, cheating uncle that doesn't have self respect, and for the FIL, I have nothing to say. Babe, please marriage us a very important life decision, be cautious.
ReplyDeleteI swear I was shocked by the comments too. The hypocrisy on this blog is at its peak!
DeletePoster you did the right thing by telling your boo but not the same day. He was wrong also to have beaten that uncle ( I respect my elders a lot ) I won't even raise my voice or insult my elders. Now find time and go to your FIL to be and do serious begging ASAP. That is the type of uncle that must be kept at arms length if you finally marry your boo. Go and apologize.
ReplyDeleteAre you begging to be married???..how dare someone touches you inappropriately. To hell with his dad,if they don't see reasons for your actions .walk away!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs in ehhn..!!. it's not by force biko
DeleteAre you begging to be married???..how dare someone touches you inappropriately. To hell with his dad,if they don't see reasons for your actions .walk away!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this chronicle,I just got irritated. First of all it is said that birds of a feather flock together, why should u encourage ur bf to allow his uncle bring babes into his home?It means ur bf is like the said "uncle".Secondly,u should have given him a very good slap to format his brain,after that then u should have told ur bf some days later not that day so u don't ruin his birthday.I believe ur bf's dad and uncle are alike character wise.Pls pray about the marriage and shine your eyes. If your bfs dad feels so bad that u reported, biko he should just give his own daughter to "Uncle" so that he can fondle her breasts.Nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI support the poster and her boyfriend also. How won't she tell? When the guy noticed something is wrong, bearing in mind that his father's friend is randy. I don't even see need being in ur father inlaw's good book. Personally, I would have asked the "to be FIL" if he will say same if I was his daughter? Just for him to be realistic. To even think that this fake uncle held out the door for u to leave speaks volume. In all these, there is a goodnews which is "UNCLE will not come to the house again not to talk of bringing girls" so u have recovered that 1 lost room. All the best. Keep an open mind and if u can't deal, leave the r/ship abeg.
ReplyDeleteIbikunolowa or whatever ur name is, it's people like u that are desperate for men that's y u don't mind if ur boyfriends uncle touched u in anyway, y didn't u ask y the bf's mum and dad are not together probably because he is such a man with his friend. How dare my bf's uncle touch me for what that means he can do worse if no one is home and then when I speak up people will blame me for not pointing it out since. What the poster did was very right when such men don't get what they want from the lady they tend to blackmail her. So plz stop being desperate and stand for the truth. Because he beat up his uncle doesn't mean he is a violent person he just stood up for his girl probably cos he knows the kinda uncle he is and what he can do when no one is around
ReplyDeleteThe attitude she's exhibiting here is disgraceful to women folk in general. It's her type that would literally chop shit just to answer Mrs somebody. Tufia
DeleteGod bless u anon, some people here are daft
DeleteDon't get me wrong pls,I'm not saying she shouldn't have told the bf or anything.I've been in that shoe befr and I know she did the best thing! If it was me u would have slapped the man but what I'm worried about here is the fact that her bf beat up the uncle! Doesn't he know the kinda person the uncle is nii
DeleteWhy would he give him a room for his nonsense! He gave the uncle too much allowance
The girl has no fault in all these...we are all here to express our views pls...I say my own and u say ur own,it doesn't have to tally pls!
@ Anonymous 18:25 na so u like me reach for u to notice me that much ? Oya👏👍
Delete@Kike Bunmi Ngwanu clap for urself👏 sense owner that u is now💪
DeletePoster did the right thing just that the boo went too far. But come to think of it, wat if the boo knows wat the uncle is capable of doing that made him to walk in almost immediately and persisted in findind out wat was wrong wit her? Anyways, d harm has been done. Poster my advice is dat both u and boo shld go and apologies to his father and father and son shld go apologies to Uncle though he doesn't desrve it.
ReplyDeleteI hardly comment but Stella I do not agree with your advice. How can you advise her not to tell her boyfriend, or should have at least told him after the so called uncle left. He out rightly denied it to her face, so do you think he would have taken responsibility the next day or any other day. I swear we are our own worst enemies. Has anyone criticizing this young lady stopped to think that this “so called uncle” might not just grab her breast next time but rape her when her boyfriend is not home; even after warning him before. We are talking about a Nigerian man that probably thinks she's interested and just forming for him. We are talking about a MAN that has unlimited access to the house. The same man can start making up lies about her after he realizes she's serious about not being interested in him, as we all know that the incident would have happened again. It’s obvious she crushed the man EGO, that’s why he was quick to open the door for her to leave while her boyfriend was begging her.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree with your boyfriend beating up the man, but then it’s obvious the man has absolutely no respect for you and your man.
My dear you did no wrong by telling your man what happened. If you hadn't the story could be different next time, and this same people here would still insult the life out of you.
Take it to God dear. The lord is your strength
Only God knows what this world has turned too. That was how one guy we call Alfa by name Ibrahim Soaga in Luth college library goes about sexing all the colleague aids and cleaners as if Dog snatched his thing when was born. And he disguises as a muslim! What a bastard and he is married! Shame!!!
ReplyDeleteSister i understand your pain,sorry! Don't you think if your guy can have the guts to beat his uncle before you don't you think he can also beat you before others too,food for thought!!
ReplyDeleteYou didn't do wrong by telling your boo but the little drama you displayed was what caused all this to happen,after you told your boo,your boo believed you and confronted the uncle which you would have just calmed him down and then the uncle would be asked to leave not beaten,but you decided to dramatize by packing your bag and deciding to leave(that drama wasn't called for or needed at that time)the uncle wouldn't have gone further to open the door and kick you out if you hadn't displayed that drama and at such it wouldn't have resulted to the beating.I am a lady bit I must say this ,women we sometimes want yo create unsolicited drama or unneeded drama in the face of an already uncomfortable situation just to prove that what we have said is the truth or our importane.in your case you didn't need it,your boo believed your story,you are not quarelling with your boo so why wanting to leave at that point? Cos you were embarrassed?Nope
ReplyDelete. Anyway now you do damage control.Allow the situation to calm down and then talk to your boyfriend about the situation and maybe begging the uncle(not like I am in the opinion that he should be begged thou)but hey you FIL just threatened your marriage with boo so you do what you have to do to make things right.Wish you luck.
Sister sorry I understand your pain sorry, I never support such indecorous behaviour that the man did to you and even what your guy did by beating up his uncle, don't you think if your guy can have the guts to beat his uncle before you, don't you think he can also treat you the same way before others, food for thought!!!
ReplyDeleteHaba Stella this your advice is totally wrong. She was sexually assaulted yet you're telling her she could have acted in a mature way. This is the reason why girls who are raped do not speak up, because of this victim blaming thing. Stella you completely ignored the actions of the man that led to the reaction and you're making excuses for him that maybe he was drunk. Is he the first person to drink? How many drunk people go about groping others. That guy intentionally touched her breast that was why he denied, if he didn't know he would have apologised and everything would have ended yet he had the guts to ask her to leave her bf's house. Grown ass man has stooped so low to bring girls to a young man's house how does he expect to be respected. Stupid man. Poster I'm happy with your actions, do not apologise to that stupid man.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not the highest prize so if her bf's father doesn't accept her anymore because of this and her bf leaves her, she should thank God for delivering her from such a stupid family.