Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Love Is Indeed Strange

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Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Love Is Indeed Strange

I read this piece and thought to share it with you....





I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship.

Love cannot help you stick to one person all years round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.

In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with any other person.

Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart, it work out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline because time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic,intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with. 

In those times, love will not help you, self control will help you, emotional intelligence will come to your rescue, commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.

You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married?

You think they don't feel funny sometimes?

You think they don't catch feelings?

They do!

But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings is the great arsenal that do destroy that impulse.

You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them.

It takes more than love.

We are too fond of loving when it's convenient, when it's sweet.

We are too fond of loving when love is there but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship.

After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped, it's now your responsibility to make it work, not love's responsibility.
Relationships cannot be readymade.

You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment, it requires intelligent.

On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment.

Everyone falls in love, it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love?
Building a relationship?

Only the strong and committed ones do that.

That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, Discipline yourself, bridle your emotions.

Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream.

It's always tough, at some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together, you can scale through the trying time by being focus and committed.

The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together.

Be emotionally strong!

Be self disciplined.

Sticking to one person is not natural, you must develop yourself to do that.
It works great and perfect with people of like minds, people of the same believes, people that share the same school of thought.


#Copied from bro Nicholas fb page.

100 comments:

Adetutu Babatunde-Edward said...

Nice piece

Iman Bella said...

Love Love Love
It's okay to love and be loved back in return

Cynthia Iyede said...

Well said....

Becky's Diary said...

I love this write-up
Very matured and so true!!
It takes more than just 'I love you' to make him/her stay with you. Relationship is indeed hard work but Love is also vital

Nice one Nicholas! Nice one

Becky's Diary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Obi's Jewel said...

Woooow... I am happily married and I concur with the author's views 100%. Relationship in marriage is for the strong and not d feeble minded.

ProudlyDeltan15 said...

Hmmmm......food for thought

Miss Ess said...

Hmmmm...food for thought

Blog Visitor said...

Love first, then the determination to make the relationship work will be worth your energy.

If don't love your partner there will b no discipline or determination or willingness.

So above all. Love comes first

Loveme Jeje said...

copy copy

Krix said...

Being emotionally strong, self decipline and self control is the only thing that will keep u faithful to ur spouse.

Krix via iPhone 6s Gold.

ELENA (HER MAJESTY) said...

True that!!!
I couldn't agree more

Ideato/IlajeBlood~ SDK FIRSTLADY said...

God bless you Nicholas. You really need to school that Rev'd.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

God bless this brother
100% right.

Let me copy this and save
Will be reading it everyday.

Debbie me said...

Nice write up.

Melody Hope said...

Wao... Nice piece.. Very true.

Amaka Hundeyin said...

Blah blah blah

Anonymous said...

I agree!

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

😀👍

Lilian Loves Pep Guardiola said...

True to some extent not 100% true.

Anonymous said...

Been awhile I heard that word *after then * English hard o .

Anonymous said...

Been awhile I heard that word *after then * English hard o .

Anonymous said...

Personally I tink,believe Tolerance holds a marriage more than Love.
Love fades,Love dies,Love changes,there's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate.
But Tolerance stays.if I can tolerate U and ur excesses ,I can life wit u 4 eva.
Evn if or wen I am angry @ ,with u,I can still tolerate u.
So marriage wit Tolerance will last Longer than Marriage wit Love.
QED!!!!!!!

School Life said...

Too many love Lectures these days... I'm beginning to get scared. Somebody should plz gv me a shoulder to lean on.

Alloy Chikezie said...

Informative!

Your comment will be visible after approval.

Anonymous said...

This is the gospel truth!

Blue Sky said...

Well said

queenette Okeke said...

God bless the writer, it came when I needed it most. Thank God for SDK

reemah said...

Makes a lot of sense. Self-discipline is very important. No one said it's easy but discipline makes it less difficult.

Mama Afrika said...

The writer said it all. Self control is key, emotional intelligence is very importand and commitment is necessary! Its not easy to stick to one person for life but its very possible. Above all crown it with prayer and God will help you stay focused.

Mrs I said...

Very well said.

Anonymous said...

Awwww......my shoulder is all yours!

Anonymous said...

I hope my husband reads this? i thought i was brave o, i now have the divorce papers but to serve him now ! am i having cold feet? i need a better life than this serial cheater. i love the lord i thouht he was also God fearing but the reverse is the case doesnt even go to church anymore he is now perfectly like an unbeliever worse still he cheats with everything that smiles back at him. i need to make heaven so i want this divorce cos i am so full of bitterness and anger and hatred towards him before i kill him o, let me leave. By weekend i will give him! God help me.

CHERYL (aka FROM GLORY to GLORY) said...

Gosh, I wish I can plant a wet kiss on the cheek of whoever wrote this. It's epic!

Quiksilver said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

All your points are rational and only point to the logical if we discipline ourselves to follow them through BUT the snag as usual is We All Without Exception Can Do Absolutely Nothing Without HIM. Why do we really ignore God inside us and think we can still make it or even have It All without HIM(Great Folly!). JESUS SAID WITHOUT ME YOU (ALL) CAN DO NOTHING! Obey God believer and non-believer and we will see Real Wonders beyond human comprehension. For God Alone is ThisLove we're talkg about. Not you, your pastor or imam or me or man or woman etc... Not us but Him and to HimAlone belongs such Glorious Relationships... HE is Love and Himself instituted Marriage! CHECK!

Anonymous said...

Please people should just shut up. It is very easy, God created monogamy, he made it so from the begining. fearing God is all you need for by strenght shall no man prevail! the problem with the world is that people are getting more and more bold and throwing it back in Gods face. Judgement awaits us all.

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

So true,I always say it,that love isn't enough to keep a relationship because at some point,the love reduces.That's when the friendship comes in,and because you both are friends,you learn to accept and tolerate each other.
You'll get tired sometimes and want to give up,but it's the fight in you that keeps you going.The willingness to make it work.Pity,not everyone has the patience to make it work,so many people quit when the going gets tough.Another great killer of relationship/marriage is complacency.You begin to take each other for granted.The little things you used to do to put smiles on each other's faces no longer matter to you.
Granted,it won't always be like it was when you both started,but that doesn't mean you should stop putting in effort to make it work.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

I tell you.
Many people think by selling 'I love you' they have won you over. Well it works for some women and not a woman like me. Like I say to my friends: Love is blind, but my own dey wear goggles oh! I love with my heart, still I junk with my head.

Jack Brenda said...

The greatest thing of all is to LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN. I can't help it but continue to Love my Ex. I believe that I'll see someone more better and sweeter than him

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Love fades truly.
I'd rather a man that respects me and understands the dignity and responsibilities of marriage, than a man who has only love to offer.

Tuscany said...

Where your offering

Roseflower said...

Nice write up. When you marry your soul mate,every other thing falls effortlessly in place.

Candy said...

I agree with u Iman. It's ok 2 love and be loved back in return but some pple take love 4 granted. U could love sum1 and dat person thinks u cnt do without him. Like Meredith in Grey's Anatomy says " I can live without but I chose not to"

Candy said...

I agree with u Iman. It's ok 2 love and be loved back in return but some pple take love 4 granted. U could love sum1 and dat person thinks u cnt do without him. Like Meredith in Grey's Anatomy says " I can live without u, but I chose not to"

Atheist. said...

Love just be like maggi for food, e no de full belle but plays a vital role.

Atheist. said...

Manage this french kiss *mmuuahh*
I use colgate.
You're wise.

Ronalda. said...

If I were to have a chat with the author of this piece, I would ask him what his definition of love is? Love means several things to several people. The emotional maturity he refers to may as well be the definition of love to a different school of thought. While I agree that it takes more than love to make a successful relationship, the caveat I would add is, love is definitely one of the ingredients for a HAPPY successful relationship. It's like making a any dish, there is no single ingredient that stands alone, it must be a combo of a few or may ingredients. In my opinion, love is one of the indispensable ingredients.

I'm guessing one of the reasons he is so quick to rule out love is because no other emotion has been abused and bastardised as love. Many people mistake strong emotional or sexual attraction for love. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get which causes palpitations and butterflies in your belly? Love can cause that but so can raging hormones. A million people would waltz through life believing they experienced love at least once, some may feel they are in love right now but the sad truth is, love is very rare and may not be experienced through out ones lifetime.

Real love is strong enough to prevent a person from cheating on his/her partner because you would rather bleed that hurt the one you love. Love makes a person emotionally mature and discipline and may you fight against your very nature. Are you aware there are a lot of emotionally mature and disciplined people who are not in a happy relationships? They only choose to commit to one person for whatever reason(s) but you cannot stay unhappy for long if you love your partner and the love is requited. True love is blinding and rarely rational. Your beloved can do no wrong in your eyes and no matter how attractive other people you meet are, of course you would admire and maybe even fantasize about them but you'll always want to be with the one you love...
‎‎

Tayan Taylor said...

Self control is really needed,i lack it. Hmmmm I need to be fully committed

Ronalda. said...

Continued :‎

So when some people say "love is overrated", I tell them "honey, is either you haven't experienced love or you gave your emotions to the wrong person".‎ Love can make you stick to one person. If you feel you are in love and you find yourself falling in love with another...I guess the clause "Houston we have a problem!" becomes apt because the corrupted version of love is at play. it's either you never really loved the one you felt you loved or you are just "catching feelings" with the "new kid on the block". Give both time, the one you have genuine love for, if at all you did, will become apparent.

I'm of the school of thought that you can fall in love with more than one person during your lifetime but definitely not at the same time. With due respect to the poster's opinion, maybe he hasn't been lucky enough to fall in love or he already settled down with the one he thought was "the one" only to find out "the real one" surfaced after the fact. Who knows? Maybe I'm the one who doesn't know what love is but if what I share with the man behind my smiles isn't the real deal, hell! I still regard myself blessed and fortunate to have experienced whatever "this" is because, baby, it's been 16 amazing years, 14 being man and wife and he still makes me giggle like a little girl, he still gets teary eyed when he tells me what I mean to him. Yeah, we have our little "quarrels" and push each other's buttons every now and then but after all said and done, the thought of my life without him in it is one of those weird "realities" that my brain bluntly refuses to process. God blessed me with a King and made him see and value the Queen in me.‎

Anonymous said...

#mature aunty Becky, I wonder d kind of grammar you write in your #diary.

Anonymous said...

Gbam you gerrittt

Anonymous said...

Very good write up.... Not like the nonsense that reverend mother wrote yesterday.

Chidinma Inspirations said...

Awesome! Above all, God's grace an prayers are always needed.

Anonymous said...

Word!!!

Omasiri said...

Love! The essence of life.

TRIUMPHANT ZION said...

Respect is more important than love,you can get too angry with the one you love and walk away but with the one you respect and who respects you too,you might never be able to walk away from. Respect begets love.

Dietitian Nezz! said...

I don't see men who are better than my dh ooo...
Would never compare cos 'He is a good gift'.
A wife can only start comparing when her dh is irresponsible.

Adanne said...

Proudlydrltan15/miss ese, I day see una

Chummy cho cho said...

Quite true. Tolerance is the key. Not just when dealing with our spouses, but with everyone around us.. Kids for example can be very annoying but we as mothers are able to tolerate their excesses even when we feel like 😡😡😡😡😡😡. So if we can learn to tolerate then we're good to go...

Nice piece.

ICE SOUL said...

A guide to handle cheating.

ICE SOUL said...

My thoughts exactly. I use to respect her. Why na Ese? Did the gut send you the phone? Double personality.

ada abraham said...

Great piece

Bee10 said...

True

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

Ooooh my gosh!
This is by far the best article I have read on this blog
How do you love when you are scared,scared of getting hurt,scared of giving your all and scared of being weak?
How do you love when you have this mental idea that all men are the same and that he will eventually cheat and hurt you?
Some people push their love ones away due to fear of the unknown.
Damn!!!
Love isn't for everyone. Some people can't just love no matter how hard they try they end up pushing people away for fear of getting heartbroken.some people are so scared of commitment that's why we have a lot of broken marriages.



*shakes head and walk outta post*

Syndy said...

I concur. Nice write up.

Kiks said...

Ronalda has said it all. The underlining factor is love, true love. True love will sustain a relationship through any situation.

Anonymous said...

You don come oh.... No spoil this fine piece oh
ITK

Prettiest Rosie said...

A million likes for u @ triumphant zion. U just said my mind

Stella maris Baby said...

@ Chi Exotic you are so funny..
Always looking out for ur comment..
Lolz

Stella maris Baby said...

Lovely piece.

Anonymous said...

Nawa o... Dietitian nezz today u r a man tomorrow u r a woman... A lot of bipolar peeps on this blog trying to be relevant....

Miss Ess's twins brother. Broke ass sister 😜😄 said...

In a relationship Love is for the poor and young adults. Love hurts! I replaced love with CARE long long time ago.
Rich people don't fall in love, they care

Blossom said...

Well written. More wisdom to you.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

Lol Stella,but seriously this piece touched me.

Maureen Ekeh said...

Wow wow wow!I over read this write up like say them gum me put . The write up just over sweet abeg. #Realnote#

IJAY said...

Love love love, nice writeup

Yoyo woman. said...

You have said it all. Discipline and commitment play a great part in keeping a r/ship going. That was how I met someone else and developed very strong feelings for him, we just clicked and fell in love, but I just told myself that I could not betray someone dat has not wronged me, I had to painfully let him go and focus on my r/ship. It made me almost not marry my hubby, but I used my head not my heart to think, and of course, closed my leg like a mermaid,and took the right decision. 10yrs on, and hubby has never disappointed me once. His character, that made me chose him over the other guy, who was richer by the way, is still what it is. He is a perfect gentle man, no stress, I thank God for giving me the gift of commonsense. And we are now very rich by the way.

Anonymous said...

I just wish all those young girls out there can take to this write-up

Anonymous said...

All those ladies out there that love jumping from one man to another, they can't stick to one.. Always looking for reasons to break up that relationship and move to the next guy, U better learn from this

REXOVIC said...

Nice piece !@ Ronalda......can i blow u a kiss? Always love your write ups.....God bless and keep your home!

Omoge Manchester said...

Lmao @ u Don come oooo, itk.. I love this blog mehn..

Starjoy said...

It's so good to love somebody and that person reciprocate back.

Anonymous said...

Ronalda where you been dey?

Princess Scheherazade said...

Dietician Nezz... I thought you spoke about your wife yesterday, abi na two of una de run the account ni?
MPD in action.

Anonymous said...

You can't really respect who you don't love neither can you love who you have no respect for

Anonymous said...

I hope this tolerance you guys are talking about doesn't include physical abuse oh! When your man starts beating you up, don't tolerate till he kills you oh! Women be wise!

Anonymous said...

Separate 'Love' from 'Infatuation '! Please! Dont tolerate domestic violence and die! I repeat, women be wise! If your man is cheating, don't tolerate it and say it's the other woman's black magic influencing your man! If you die, he will go to the next available Mumu and love that one also! Let your love go fet glasses oh! Plus the risk of std's from many loves out there! There is always a hidden punishment for excess love!!!

Abies said...

Nice write up...I guess u are one of the lucky ones.

Anonymous said...

Listen to yourself riff raff!

I wonder why you write like this, you must be a product of bad parenting, hence you type due to your background setting. I must say this, parents please train and raise your children right to show respect to those who are older than them, in the cause of this, they will find helpers.

Not a nuisance pretending to be what she's not!*Ilaje Vagabond*.

Even to sell your stinking pussy like you've been doing, you still need to show respect to your escorts, else, bad market sets in, what am I even saying sef! Who would be with a nonentity? Who lives her fantasies on a faceless blog

Anonymous said...

Listen to yourself riff raff!

I wonder why you write like this, you must be a product of bad parenting, hence you type due to your background setting. I must say this, parents please train and raise your children right to show respect to those who are older than them, in the cause of this, they will find helpers.

Not a nuisance pretending to be what she's not!*Ilaje Vagabond*.

Even to sell your stinking pussy like you've been doing, you still need to show respect to your escorts, else, bad market sets in, what am I even saying sef! Who would be with a nonentity? Who lives her fantasies on a faceless blog

Anonymous said...

Shut your trap @Anon 17:31.

Why didn't you write the correct version of your "English hard o"? Nonentities forming nonsense.

You could have come up with a decent composition instead of joining your L1 and L2. What does this idiot even know? Hence the reason the idiot couldn't write it without joining indigenous language.

Oyebanke said...

Ronalda is 100% on point.

Ideato/IlajeBlood~ SDK FIRSTLADY said...

Thank God I am not the only one noticing this dietician.

You're really a bipolar. It a Bi-sexual

Ideato/IlajeBlood~ SDK FIRSTLADY said...

**or a

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

*Still I think

Anonymous said...

HYPOCRITE! Keep pointing fingers at women, girls just to bring them down and feel "self righteous." Taking it that you're a male, can you count how many vjays you've entered and still planning to enter after all, "I'M VERY SURE YOU HAVE NOT COMPLETED YOUR TARGET OF 12,000vjays that ordinary devil has deceived the entire menfolk worldwide to aim for as their entire lifetime endeavour. You still never siddon ask urself abi...? SHIOOO Oooo!! You want to solve problem from just one side when the major root cause is overlooked? Shioo

EEA said...

WOWWWW I WAS BLOWN AWAY WITH THE WISDOM POURING OUT OF THIS ARTICLE...THE WRITER IS 100% ON POINT.......LOVE, DISCIPLINE AND DETERMINATION GO HAND IN HAND...
KUDOS TO THE WRITER...BEAUTIFUL MASTER PIECE

Datruthsisreal said...

Usher Tuscany

Yummy chick cum mummy said...

Yea. U v covered it all briefly.....

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