Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Broken Homes And Its Effect On The Children...

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Friday, 23 September 2016

Broken Homes And Its Effect On The Children...

Are you from a home divided by Divorce?Your input is needed here...







Dearest Stella, 
Straight to the matter on my chest. This sprung from a comment I read in one of our posts. Maybe we can make this a couch session or you could post it in In House News (IHN), according to your discretion. 

The issue is divorce/broken homes, the effects on children and the stigma that follows.......so I have a friend who was very much in love with a particular guy. She is a charming, classy, fun to be with, educated, somewhat innocent (naive) and most importantly, 100% faithful to this guy. 

Out of the blues when their relationship was nearing altar stages, guy starts ignoring her and this babe was almost losing her mind. Bottomline, this guy stated that he could not continue with the 2 year relationship. According to him, he loved her and had found no fault in her but his family would never welcome a girl from a broken home.

 I felt the guy was just the "regular Joe" cooking up excuses to play the next girl, not until it happened to a neighbour. 
In this case, he was a guy. The annoying part is the girl who broke up with him is even from a dysfunctional home; only that her parents weren't separated. Everyone always felt the guy was too good for the girl. 

Alas! 

Some weeks to their introduction, family said their daughter would not be given to a person from a broken home. After this same family have enjoyed goodwill from this man.

My question is this....stereotyping. We get mad when one Nigerian travels overseas and commits a crime and all Nigerians are branded criminals. We flare up when someone judges us even before knowing us (as seen in the comment sections). How come we do to others what we don't want done to us?


Children from broken homes have suffered enough from issues they knew nothing about, yet society punishes them with stigma as adults. The little I know, a good percentage of children/adults from broken homes hate divorce with a passion. Yes there are the exceptions who go on to repeat the circle but for the anonymous who generalised, pray people don't judge you someday based on circumstances that you knew nothing about and even suffered from.


PS: There's a particular geopolitical zone on Nigeria where it is not uncommon to largely find siblings with different parents. This is due to the fact that families from that region always impose same tribe marriage which often times fail.


 I'm glad that the present generation is breaking away from this anomaly and change is already evident in this region (I'm also from this region and I have done my little research).


Thank you Stella and BVs for taking the time. Cheers. Anonymous BV who loves this blog passionately. 


176 comments:

cakes by Bella's, Abuja. 58DA8ADF, 07080305132, instagram @cakes_by_bellas ,twitter @CBellaabuja said...

Hmmm, will read comments

Eka Joy said...

*and it's effect on children pls not and it's effective on children

Anonymous said...

To me i think divorce is Nollywood and Hollywood stuff, from my growing up till now, i have never seen or heard of any divorced family. I dont even no any kid from a broken home, so how come i keep reading about divorce online. One thing i have come to realise it that Yoruba's divorce alot
Eze Henry

Eze Henry said...

To me i think divorce is Nollywood and Hollywood stuff, from my growing up till now, i have never seen or heard of any divorced family. I dont even no any kid from a broken home, so how come i keep reading about divorce online. One thing i have come to realise it that Yoruba's divorce alot
Eze Henry

Anonymous said...

The guy is right Broken home This only reason I am still with my wife I don't want my two children to experience it

Anonymous said...

It's better to come from a broken in a complete economy...than come from a complete home in a broken economy.

Eze Henry said...

To me i think divorce is Nollywood and Hollywood stuff, from my growing up till now, i have never seen or heard of any divorced family. I dont even no any kid from a broken home, so how come i keep reading about divorce online. One thing i have come to realise it that Yoruba's divorce alot
Eze Henry

White Eagle said...

Yes...the stigma is reducing. People should get to know someone before judging. Most times broken homes affect people especially children in a negative way..the environment also aids this.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Waoh,this is a nice topic,in my family,if you introduce your fiancée/fiance,one of the underground check on the family is to check the history of the parents marriage,they belief it has a long way to play in their children's home

White Diamond said...

Poster, you know lie.

Waiting to read from those who are products of broken homes or who are in relationships with said people.

Just like people from homes were violence is the norm, a lot of them see beating their spouses as normal, while others, like Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart, would do anything not be be like their violent parent.

#WhiteDiamondOut

Anonymous said...

WELL SAID..I COME FROM A BROKEN HOME TOO..VERY PAINFUL..I HAVE TRIED SO HARD TO GET PAST IT BUT WHAT CAN I DO..I HAVE SUFFERED PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM THE HANDS OF ALL THESE RELATIVES. NOT EVEN THE ISSUE OF HAVING A BROKEN HOME..ALSO THE EFFECT OF LIVING WITH A RELATIVE...I DO WISH THERE WAS A WAY OUT OF THIS SITUATION AND GOD HELP PARENTS SEE THAT NO ONE CAN EVER TREAT YOUR KIDS BETTER THAN YOU DO...AT TIMES IT ISNT ABOUT THE MONEY..I JUST PRAY I DONT FALL A VICTIM WHEN ITS TIME TO SETTLE...
ITS A VERY PATHETIC CASE.

Aeegurl... said...

It is unfair sha.

Anonymous said...

Thank you dear anon . Pls is there a relationship between adhd and broken home as my 6yr old was recently diagnosed with adhd. It's better to come from a broken home than from a violent and dysfunctional family. Thanks dear.

JACINTA MBACHU said...

I'm not from such home but I will read comments

Anonymous said...

Barrack Obama is from a broken home, what's important is how u see urself. Sometimes I wish my parents broke up, am sure I would ve been happier growing up

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

Hmmmmm no comment.




*hangs leg on the cupboard*

Anonymous said...

GBAAAAGGGGAAAUUUNNN @ the title of this post. Correct the title Stella. Asap.

Loveme Jeje said...

Let me read comments. This one no concern me

S...B said...

Well i am from a partially broken home. They are not divorced but they don't stay together. My Dad is in the south while my mum is in the north. I am not happy they are apart but i feel relieved because whenever they are together its chaos, chaos, chaos. My mum was forced to marry my dad. Infact if you are their traditional wedding picture you will pity her. She looked so sad and my dad on the other hand doaent help matters with his stinginess. I know what it feels like to be in a loveless marriage. Its terrible.I have never seen my parents sit and gist like couples do. I have learnt from their mistake and i will make sure i don't repeat history by the grace of God. I still love them both from the depth of my heart and i love them more apart.

Osinachi said...

I have this friend turned sister whom I love to bits but is from a broken home. The ish of coming from a broken home is a big reason why she is still single. Guys withdraw once they find out her parents are not together. This girl a definition of a perfect lady (yes, all the guys confirm that before disappearing). The questions the poster asked have been going through my mind till hubby explained his understanding of it all to me. He says that from his experience, girls from broken homes most often raised by their now single mums have the wrong orientation about marriage and relationship. This is because their mothers have directly or indirectly tutored them that they can exist without their significant orders and so their approach to relationships is totally different. He also explained that such a girl from a broken home will most likely hate divorce but will unknowingly do things that will ultimately lead to the divorce unknowingly because they don't know any better. I don't know if am passing the message though.
I am still praying and hoping a good man marries my friend despite her family background.

Palmkernel/ Palm oil factory for sale. Bb pin 58BF8F56 said...

Uhmmm Children from broken homes knows nothing... They shouldn't be judged based on their parental background.

IVORY said...

I as a person have learnt how to treat people individually and not by where they are coming from and all that. I can only make exceptions if these individuals begin to exhibit the same traits that marred their families and are not even ready to work on it. I believ a person should strive to be better than the people who raised them or where they're coming from but in the end,we can only try. I think what some families/parents are afraid of is that "history would repeat itself" but cycles can be broken. We tend to judge but forget that we dont have perfect lives either. Most of whom might it worse than the others, sticking together in the face of incest,infidelity,dv,diabolical acts and all,burying and covering while putting up a happy and united front,until it all blows up... In which case,the child still suffers.



Unless there's evidence beyond reasonable doubt concerning tge person you're directly involved with, the sins of the father should be visited upon the father.

ukwu dimond said...

time to sit back and read comments.

Anonymous said...


Some times I read the comments people leave and can't help but
wonder what the hell are you doing to make things better besides
sitting in your mums laps covered in dust and
dwelling in your loneliness, giving us your fascinating opinion.....blast

Mama Afrika said...

I'll be reading comments

Eka Joy said...

Personally, I don't believe in shit like that. I believe every individual is different and have the ability to form their path in life by themselves and not by what their parents did. But I won't deny the fact that some of these children may pick up the characters that actually led to their parents separation

Anonymous said...

A "boy" will find any excuse to dump a girl once he has been browsing her vagina and has "seen it all". The foolish girls have themselves to be blamed for this. No guy will see a "treasure of a lady"; character and otherwise and go else where for a wife.

For the girl that dumped the guy, she is the greedy type that is influenced by the rhetoric online; including here; "use what you have to get what you want, marry him if he is rich etc.". Having in her vain mind "used the guy", she finds it convenient to dump him and move to the next. The irony of life usually plays out. She ends up in the hands of the "devils" who will kick her like soccer ball even while pregnant.

kimmy said...

People do stigmatize children from broken home which is very bad, Coming from a broken home doesn't stop them from reaching greater heights or getting married.

Anonymous said...

i happen to be a product of this same "broken home' . i have had my fair share of stigmatization which has left me with low self esteem all my life. now i am married with kids and hubby is treating me like a piece of trash! but for the sake of my children i am willing to make the "biggest sacrifice of my life by staying back in a very abusive relationship all because i don't want my children to go through what i have passed through in life. i tell you its not easy for me but the sacrifice is worth it. i hope to send my own chronicle someday.

God's own! Real Estate Agent Lekki/Ajah 08159131741 PIN: 56958843 said...

The reason people aren't keen on marrying someone from a broken home is because they are afraid the cycle will repeat itself.
There's something called evil family pattern ( it could be broken marriages, having kids outside wedlock, pre-mature death in the family etc etc which goes on from one generation to another).
I guess that could be the reason why people are afraid of marrying someone from a broken home.

Toye crown said...

70% of men and women from broken home will sacrifice anything to make their marriage work. the worst broken home is a home of the unseparated abusive couple who live together and stage abusive drama on a daily basis. l stumble on my ex dad and mum in d drama of shame where her mum kip cursing her dad and threatening him with a knife. she wasnot at home that day. I kept d scene to myself and I took time checking if she have the quality of living to b different in her until the day she came to my office with knife threatening to kill me bcos I told her I need a break.

Anonymous said...

I am from a broken home, the effect it has on me is my phobia for marriage, u can't begin to imagine what I went through as a child, waking up to screams from my parents bedroom, domestic violence at it z peak. You have no idea what it is to be with ur mum and crave the attention of ur dad but he isn't there. It's heart wrenching, and now the stigma makes it worse. Stop judging us, u have no Idea what a broken home feels like...

miss Aboki said...

Am I first?

Anonymous said...

my parents have been separated for as long as i can recall i.e.for 30 years or more now. I grew up with my grannie and cousins. For me I dnt even miss the man as he no send us. I am as normal as possible maybe more normal than some people that grew up with both parents under the same roof but abuse was the order of the day

Favourite Girl said...

I'm lost for words

Anonymous said...

Am from a broken home... have learnt a lot in this life, suffer, brokenhearted, molested, struggle and so on.. but in all things I give thanks to God.. I am not where am suppose to be but I know I will get there..I so much hate divorce and will never allow that to happen to my marriage

Anonymous said...

This Poster posted all in my mind. I was planning to send Stella something Like this, out of my personal experience.
My parents separated when I was two, and they are both remarried now. I grew up with my dad and he was a very strict person so my upbringing was with so much discipline. I did not grow up wayward. Infact, I have grown to be a responsible independent young lady. I did great in school, still presently pursing my professional certification but this stigma won't let me be. Now, I met a guy & after meeting his people he then came back to tell me that of all his siblings he is the only one getting married from a broken home. I'm very certain that the family must have talked about it. I cried and felt soo bad. Never felt so bad in my life. I mean,. here I am trying to be the best I can be, and people won't judging me bcos of something that was never my fault. I have been the victim of this separation all my life, and I try to set things right yet i'm still bn judged by it.
I am 26 & single bcos I don't want to invest emotions on smone only to be judged at the last minute. Just living my life & waiting for that prsn who won't judge me. I wish to right my parents wrong in my own home. I have never supported divorce.
I don't know when this stigmatization will end. It really saddens me. And I pray daily for God to bless me with someone who love me unconditionally.
Everyone around me expect me to be married or engaged but they don't know the battle I face daily.
I don't know what to do...

*Ms. N.O.O*

Port Harcourt's Finest said...

Its just a misplaced generalization. Most children from broken homes turn out to be faithful and independent individuals when compared to children from unbroken homes. It all boils down to upbringing and personal convictions. I'm a child of a broken home and I didn't turn out bad. I'm successful and dependable. Many Nigerian still dwell on mediocrity and biased judgement.

Anonymous said...

My wife is from a broken home. My family welcomed her with open hands. We have been married for 20 years. She is the best human l have ever known. If you are from a broken home it is stupid for anyone to punish you for the weaknesses of your parents.

Princess Scheherazade said...

Unfortunately, you're doing more harm than good to those children.

It's better for them to be stigmatised by a few ignorant folks than for them to grow up in a dysfunctional abusive environment, which will most likely be repeated in their own situation, because they have been brought up to believe it's normal to be abusive or to receive abuse.

Anonymous said...

Hello Stella, I've been a secret fan of your blog, this topic got me to comment first time. Pls keep up the good work.
My parents seperated when I was in junior secondary school. The marriage just didn't work from day one.Many reasons could be attributed to it, chief of which is my mum gave birth to five children(all girls). Long story short, my dad left us, my mum buckled up and raised us up alone. Personally my mum paid my school fees in a private school from Js1 to high institution. All of us are graduates today, thanks to my mum. It wasn't easy not having the love of a family that is together, nor a father figure. I cried when I graduated from secondary school, and won prizes in 7 subjects, but had to take pictures alone, because my mum had to be in her shop. People who didn't even win a prize had their parents there with them to celebrate with them.
Through it all, God saw us through.
Today I'm married to someone who is also from a family that is separated, and we have two kids(a girl and a boy). Four years down the line now and we've promised ourselves to learn from our parents mistakes and not let our children go through same thing as us. In all I respect my mum for being strong for us. She is still single to today and doing great. God bless our homes.

Meadow - The Beautiful Field said...

The fact that a home is broken has already created psychological problems for the child while growing up, so we should not create more problems for them.

Just as the BV stated above, most kids from such homes make so much effort not to make the same mistake hence they take their time in relationships.

The fact that you married a guy/lady who is not from a broken home does not guarantee that your home might not be broken. Just ask God to be the binding force in the relationship. My take.

Mrs. Romas said...

I knew people from broken homes who got married peacefully in Nigeria without being stigmatised. I never knew they stigmatised people from broken homes in Nigeria, so i don't really have much to say.

In the community i live, (99.99% white people) they always have two or five things to say about children from broken homes, there is this believe that children from broken homes lacks some certain character and that they hardly make their marriage work.

In few years time, 80% of children are gonna be from a broken home in Nigeria, because the rate of divorce is increasing everyday.
Even children born outside wedlock will have a lot of things to complain about too. There will be more baby mama/daddy.

The young man that was rejected because he's from a broken home should go and look for another woman to marry.

PLATINUM said...

I dont knw wat to say, sometin happens to you and the way u react abt it say alot. Im not from a broen home bt i hv friends from one, some will speak n say that they will never allow their kids go through wat they did, others will say they cant take shit from a guy andthat if he tries rubbish they will carry their kaya n go. I guess this may be why pple dont wana marry kids from broken home bcos they hv seen wat their parets did in a certain situation and hv be ingrained unconsciously that the sulution to any problem one face in marriage is to leave.

One particular girl i knw wants said, her mom single handely trained them while her father was with another woman, she said she didnt need a man and that wen she is ready she would just fall pregnant n hv kids. Thats wat broken home does to pple. My 2cent.

Otaswifey said...

Dodoyo

stephan said...

Is your wife that bad?or its ancestral? Me I have my no-no's Polygamous and broken home.

Anonymous said...

I am from a broken home. After daily fights and watching my parents fight daily and sleepless nights, i begged for the divorce in my heart of hearts. It made me a strong woman. me and my siblings are all married with several other suitors begging us to consider them. My marriage is very secure but the moment it goes down the hill, i will sign those papers and protect my kids from the pain i went through as a child. However, i guard my happiness. I have a life partner that puts me and the kids first. I am happy. I am pro divorce. It may be embarrassing in the beginning but it is the best for the welfare of everyone in the long run

Anonymous said...

Eka Joy go back to yo primary 1 teacher n get yo change.....

Otaswifey said...

May be Stella will have to do a topic on kids raised in a toxic or abuse home for you to know what to do.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say*

Anonymous said...

And Igbos are always lame. You are a product

Desperate Chick said...

Good to know





#Enter your comment...

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

You're very very daft and myopic

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

How would you? When you don't go out of your cubicle where you're sucking breast?

Anonymous said...

U have never seen but u know Yorubas divorce alot...am not understanding

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Oho!!

kuluwa ibrahim said...

Dear Children of God,

I refused to see you "kids from broken homes". It's sad that society see you all that way. Know that you are more than that, God bless.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

What kind of men do you guys deal with?
My sister in laws are from a broken home. But are married to two very very solid men. They live abroad. Married to husbands who earn thousands of pounds a month. One's husband is an evangelist In Church, the other's husband is a youth minister in church. Solid, handsome God-fearing exposed Rich correct men. So check the guys you deal with too. When you deal with men who think from their anus with warped mentality, you won't move forward.
It's on Stella's blog i heard about this broken home bullshit. I don't hear it anywhere else cos I know many broken home kids who are married

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

You married a yeye man that's why. And maybe you haven't done anything productive with your life too. Cos if you were Okonjo Iweala he won't Dare remind you that you're from a broken home.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

You will find Biko. Let not your heart be troubled.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Lol @ stigma reducing. My ex's parents told him that if he must marry me I have to go look for my father to receive dowry. A father who doesn't even know if I or my siblings are alive. I don't even know what hurt more; that or the fact that he was begging me to agree because he doesn't want any trouble from them. And these are very "exposed" people.

Candy_G said...

Exactly my dear. Your husband's explanation is just the truth.

Majority of children from broken homes are like that.

Yes there are also few exceptions

Anonymous said...

God bless u for dis comment ...I was made to understand this too

Anonymous said...

i am not from a broken home but i have a broken home. It was either a broken home or cemetery. It's better my children are stigmatized than for me to be in the cemetery.

Anonymous said...

Ur mom didn't do well at all.so she couldn't sacrifice a few hours or even a day to make her daughter happy.I'm sure her excuse wld be about trying to provide for the family. Dats messed up.

Candy_G said...

Yes they shouldn't be judged. But that what you all fail to realize.

Yes they shudnt be judged, get to know them they say. And when you do you experience something out of this world.

I know lots of them and trust me their attitude towards life is totally different

Still not all are guilty of these.

BelKe said...

Being from a broken home definitely affects the kids. I say so because I am that kid who has been affected because of my parents choice.

I recall a guy I dated four years ago. I assumed he was the one till I found out he had a son out of wedlock. I decided to manage the relationship but found out that he has not seen the son four over four years and had not spent a dime on his son. I couldn't deal with it and told him I can't date a man who doesn't care about his son. He told him point blank "Do you think I can marry someone from a broken home? Never!!"
My heart shattered into pieces that night. Sadly, it has been the same occurrence everytime I date a guy. Maximum 6months, they find a reason and abscond.
We are all girls in my family and it's the same story.None of us have a serious relationship talk less about marriage.
It's so sad that the decision my parents took is affecting us negatively today.

Anonymous said...

I come from a broken home and I didn't grow up differently than any other kid from a nuclear home. My dad was a hands on dad, bathed us took us to school in the morning cooked and also participated in all out activities. I grew up just fine, am doing very well.

S...B said...

*if you see...

* dosen't

Sewa Joseph said...

My parents separated when i was 6, i am now close to 30, single handedly raised by mum, i do feel like if my parents thought about their children's future i would have a had a better life, i cant complain though because i have worked hard for everything i have and i want a better future for myself, i wont marry a useless man like my mum did lol, my mum married my dad out of ignorance she is much better than him! however, i have learned a lot from it - dont rush into marriage, and only tolerate the things you can accept in marriage when you are in a relationship as nothing will change when you get married

Sewa Joseph said...

its so funny that nigerians discriminate, their mother is like 3rd wife, their parents dont talk to each other, their mum gets beaten daily, or one parent is the only person that fends for the family, they share no love in the family, but they feel better because their parents are cohabiting pretending to be married.. JOKES!

Anonymous said...

A broken home is better than a dysfunctional home. I wish my parents would just separate and rest than living like enemies cos the pains of seeing my dad abuse my mum is not funny. But this has made me strong and independent. I pray to have a heavenly home when am married. Am 23 and female. A.K.A Miss Independent.

Anonymous said...

i think its really about what the child/children decides to do with his/herself. i come from a broken home. i am 20, done with university, currently serving and have a bright future ahead of me... im certainly not making the mistakes my parents made

White Diamond said...

Rotflmao!

#WhiteDiamondOut

Osinachi said...

Ur ex is right o. U see that ish? U refused because of that same "understanding" of kids from broken homes. In my tradition, it is a taboo for someone else to receive a woman's dowry if her biological father is still breathing. And trust me, there are future consequences for breaking this tradition. U never ready to marry. As if "exposure" nullifies tradition.

Osinachi said...

Chikito pls what exactly are you trying to say. We have acknowledged that there are exceptions. And please what had earning thousands of pounds and living in UK got to do with anything? I am not understanding!

Osinachi said...

Exactly my thoughts. Some of them are already damaged psychologically.

Osinachi said...

James is that you????

Osinachi said...

Don't worry about it hun. Once you embrace God and try to be a much better person, he will send someone your way. It's no fault of yours.

chisom ibiam said...

Thank you...you can come from the said complete home but you parent fight everyday, trust me I doe mor damage t , children

chisom ibiam said...

Candy _g when you meet a child from a loveless and violent marriage, you will appreciate a broken home, cus they are mor messed up in the head

Anonymous said...

Am from a broken home...for me it was better my parents were seperated than they were together..My mom beared so much....My dad would drink and smoke get involved in criminal case and illegal deals my mom would be the one to pay for his atrocitiies..He doesn't care if we feed school or clothe right from day 1 am 20 and I grew up to meet him like that...My mom worked her ass off feeding us n taking care of us and at the same time clothing feeding my dad while all he does is bring emabarassment...am in my finals. My dad doesn't even knw what am studying how I pay fees n survive he just don't care..My elder sis has been faced with this challenge tho the guys mum said that since she's frm a broken home that my sisters foundation is faulty,that was how the rltnshp packed up...it's not our fault we were brought into it by our parents..

Anonymous said...

I'm from a broken home.apart from the stigma,I also deal with loneliness. I crave to be loved badly.I move from one home to the other,alternating between both parents too,trying to balance the relationship I have with them so one person doesn't feel like I prefer the other,the hatred my mum has for my dad is something else(story for another day )sometimes they abandon me,they don't even care about how I'm surviving. My m transfers aggression to me.so ppl of God imagine when your own parents feel like your are a baggage to them.I've been dumped twice cos of that,and I'm really beautiful(kids from broken home are always beautiful,check Paul okoye's wife)I try my best to be an exceptional ly good person cos I know my baggage,can't come and be Ill mannered and wicked on top broken home with a mum that has married 3times and walked out of all of them.my problem isn't even the stigma,its the life I live as a kid from a broken home first,then the stigma follows.it hurts.it really does,I've learnt to manage anyhow ppl treat me cos in a way I'm even grateful they look at my face at all.I'm a second class citizen everywhere even in my father's home.My self esteem is below low.I'm afraid of marriage cos I may end up with a bad man and I'll just be suffering and smiling, I can't leave now,ppl will say they swore for my lineage. My daughter may fall victim of the same stigma so you see,I can't even leave if my marriage goes sour.with the way guys leave me cos of that self I've given up on marriage. Its not for me at all.I just live my christian life,praying everyday for God to come to my rescue.to find happiness within myself and just concentrate on other purposes in life and be successful. Its really a tough life though

Anonymous said...

What do you mean by "pick up th characters.."? Aren't the children the products of the parents? Wld they pick up characters of someone else's parent or what?

Anonymous said...

Some of these comments are so disheartening. Common sense should tell people that someone from a broken home would do anything for their kids not to pass through same. They would make the best home builders. It is well.

Anonymous said...

I grew up in a more chaotic environment to a broken home. Am married now i hate my mum so much cos of what has happened and she knows.....story plenty but am moving on

Anonymous said...

I've not healed yet. Still battling my demons. I don't wish a broken home on anyone.

gorgeous said...

And the guy that dumped a girl isnt greedy? You are just a goat. A goat of a man

Wonder tosin said...

I'm from a broken home and contrary to the stories the writer portray I'm more scared of divorce...
I have also realized that your parents being together isn't a guaranty that your own marriage will last
Or the fact that your parents isn't together means your own marriage won't last
People divorce for various reasons & some are as amicable as anything...

Having a long lasting marriage is about determination and prayer

Sometimes one feels bad about not having the love,support and backup of both parents but then what about people whose parents are together but very miserable..

Being from a broken home has taught me to stand up for myself,be independent,never rely on any man,love and adore my siblings,my respect for both of my parents haven't reduced and has also taught me I would love my husband and kids unconditionally...

Please what about kids from babymamas,people brought up by one parent or orphans,if we are stating this for people with broken home then it should apply to them also...everyone deserves to love and be loved,judge not and ye shall not be judged...
Its people from a broken home who should even be shown marriage is fun and sweet
Do I even envy the so called marriages of today??most na cover face

Ps-None of those spouse in your examples were cut out for marriage,if you love someone,you love their good and accept their bad without making them feel bad about it...sorry about the epistle

gorgeous said...

Stop judging

Ny babe said...

Gbayi

Anonymous said...

Broken home ruins childhood, I was molested as a child just because my mum and dad were not together and my mum had to work, my grandma didn't make things easier as my mum gets victimized for being the only one that is not with the father of her child, well my mum remarried after many years of being a single mum but that only worsened the situation, I grew up with my grandma, I am not close with my mum neither am I with my dad, my mum does not show me the affection I crave for. My dad doesn't give a hoot about me, he gives me money for upkeep when he deem it fit, he has other kids am not on good terms with and yes, my mum has her kids too, I am the only outsider. I can't visit my dad neither can I stay at my mum's. Now the thing is, I am having issues with my boyfriend already, I hold back from a lot of things because I just don't want to end up heartbroken, I don't even feel like getting married, i am not eager to. Whatever would happen should happen and oh, did I mention my mum's uncles still abuses her because of that till date? Sorry for the long narration, I have always wanted to spill this out.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,15.04 who are you to judge? I am from a broken home too and my mum raised my brothers and I. Don't judge what you know nothing about. Read het story, be happy for her and move on!
My parents seperated 27 years ago and has long remarried. My mum has remained single. They seperated when she was 28. Now we are all doing well and dad is now ringing us to send him the crumbs that is left after we have taken care if our mum.
I cant even wish for them to come back together cos mumsy level don pass e own.

Anonymous said...

Am from a broken home too and it has reali affected me,I am 33yrs old dis year,female,not married,not in any relationship,not a lesbian,I just have trust issues in things that have to do with men,I have phobia for marriage and childbirth,the picture in my head about marriage is so scary,I really need help.

Anonymous said...

well wen i saw this post,i knew i had to comment, i am from a broken home i never grew up to meet my dad live with my mum and though she tried her very best, sent me to school got me a good job by Gods grace and generally i am doing well for my self.
got married three years ago and i feel a void in my relationship with my husband cos i dont knw how to treat a man as per my husband complains so much that i don't treat him like a woman should treat a man, that has put a lot of strain on my marriage and am thinking of backing out but one ting remains i just relate with my husband as i would relate to a male colleague at the office maybe cos i didn't see how a proper family lives. it affects me but might not affect someone else. i feel i don't need a man cos i have lived without one for so long so their use is limited.

Anonymous said...

Mine was lowest self esteem
Imagine having a mentally unstable father who finally left home. Lived in a shithole. People called us bastards. Can go on and on

The General's Wife said...

I am Soo happy it ended in praise.
Remain happy love.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, on that post on divorce and its effect on children. Stella, I will not allow my child to marry a person from a broken home oo. My hubby is from a broken home, there is this hatred and grudge that he still holds against his mum for leaving him and his siblings for another woman to come and maltreat. He also believes this is the reason they were not given good education, they had all grown up before they started struggling to go to higher institution. He believes he would have been a better somebody if his parents were together. Now instead of working to keep our marriage intact, he has this non-challant and careless attitude, he doesn't belive in the values of marriage, he flares up at any little provocation. He would say "I don't need families to survive in life, I have lived and struggled by myself all my life, marriage is nothing, thank God I have children, if we break up and you go with them, they will look for me when they grow up". It saddens me, I value marriage so much. I regret marrying him sometimes. Dear Lord.........

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, on divorce and its effect on children. Stella, I will never allow my child to marry a person from a broken home oo. My hubby is from a broken home, there is this hatred and grudge that he still holds against his mum for leaving him and his siblings for another woman to come and maltreat. He also believes this is the reason they were not given good education, they had all grown up before they started struggling to go to higher institution. He believes he would have been a better somebody if his parents were together. Now instead of working to keep our marriage intact, he has this non-challant and careless attitude, he doesn't belive in the values of marriage, he flares up at any little provocation. He would say "I don't need families to survive in life, I have lived and struggled by myself all my life, marriage is nothing, thank God I have children, if we break up and you go with them, they will look for me when they grow up". It saddens me, I value marriage so much. I regret marrying him sometimes. Dear Lord.........

The General's Wife said...

Sweetie now listen to me,that fallacy is that of the world. Not of God.
In His time He Wil bring ur OWN husband. Not anyone's. Dat one that didn't work out was not yours. Yes baby. He wasn't yours.
Now don't allow the Devil or ur mind(we are humans so sometimes our minds go off on us) play tricks on u and tell u it didn't work out cos u come from a broken home. Bill shit!
It didn't work out cos God wants His own man for u. Not that flasher. Not that guy. Ok?

Now u have done well for urself. That's good. And u sound like a good chick. U are educated and u got God. And He got u. So u are good to go Baibay. Good to go.
Just do me this favour: Let your faith be bigger than ur Fear.

And one day,one day very soon,when u are in the arms of ur Prince Charming,basking in his love and he in yours,
u Wil remember a stranger told u "I told you so"

Now come take a big hug Baibay.
And keep smiling.Yea keep smiling,cos u know you GOT this!

Anonymous said...

Broken home experience isn't something one should pray for. I am from a broken home even though my parents separated when we were all grown. I was 24 years old when they got divorced. The truth is, it wasn't easy at all. It always affects the children. I can recall vividly: The guy I wanted to marry then told me categorically that his parents will not give their blessings. I was hurt and depressed because I was suffering for the consequence of my parents actions.
Thank God I am happily married to a man who treats me like an egg. He loves so much and I love him too.
Divorce shouldn't be melted out on the kids because they didn't cause it. That stigma should be removed.

Anonymous said...

I hate divorce which is ironic because I'm divorced, there's certainly stigma but I have come to realize you're not responsible for people's thoughts and actions,just your own. Grew up with a dad who nearly sent my mum to the cemetery countless times. They later divorced and years later when I got married my ex would choke me over any excuse, he took countless loans in my name which I had to pay for,i was perpetually in debt and smashed me with a chair once,and whenever I threatened to leave he would say you want to divorce like your parents abi? Finally I left him,yes I'm divorced like my parents but I'd still take the decision again and again,which is why I pray should I remarry I meet someone who is from a broken home too and wants to do better because divorce marks you and people who should understand just do not

Flakkie Chris said...

All this one they're saying about rejecting spouses from broken homes, na cos pepper no rest....... rubbish. If the one from a broken home is the offspring of one millionaire or billionaire, the parents will be the one pushing their child to go and marry the person fast fast........ shioor! I dislike people who make others pay for crimes they know nothing about.

BLESSED said...

Sdk, the cycle is the reason, its broken sometimes, other times its like a curse. My late parents were divorced before me and my late sister clocked 10. We grew up in suffering as my mum dumped us with my paternal grandfather. Grandpa's own wife was not with him too as she had left him, so his new wife maltreated us. We were molested by neighbours until I fell pregnant for a man because of hunger. This man married me out of pity. Hmmm. Later on, beatings and different kind of abuse followed everyday. He knew I had nobody as my parents were dead and grandpa was very old. I endured for the sake of my kids. I was ready to die there after all I had no one, my sister had died. Mr man just packed his things one day and left up till today. We don't even know his whereabout. I suffer with my kids alone. I doubt if this cycle of broken homes and suffering will ever be broken, I pray my daughter dont get pregnant because of food like I did. I feel sad as she grow up everyday. This life is just somehow. A broken home is very bad, I understand the stigma.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Osinachi the men are solid that's my point. And the men are God fearing men who didn't judge them by their parents mistake. So stop all this pity party of 'oh men don't like girls from broken homes'. If anyone uses your parents issues to stigmatize you then F*CK THEM!! And move on.

Anonymous said...

No, there is no Relationship. If you are in lag, take your son to the child and adolescent unit of federal neuropsychiatric hospital Oshodi annex. He ll be fine by God's grace

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Osinachi you don't see the part where I said they are pastor and evangelist to ask what that has to do with what I'm saying. Na only the money part you see 😂 is your a/c crying? Sorry my dear the Lord will do it for all of us ehn?

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Thank you Mrs Romas. I've never heard this issue before all my life. as long as someone is child of God, tribe, culture, race and background don't matter in marriage. But trust people to assume what is not.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

So if your Inlaws asked him to marry you JUST because you weren't from a broken home, what would be their story now? Abeg it doesn't add up

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Change your mindset

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Hmmm.... I can imagine. Go for counseling

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Also, get close to a mature woman who has a husband of her own. And ask for advice on how to handle issues. She can be like a second mum. In my church they do that for young couples. Pair them up to senior couples that are like 20+ years in marriage to coach them. And it's been successful so far.

Tata said...

I'm from a broken home and I had issue s when it was time for marriage. Two relationships went down Nevis I was brought up in a 'house' and not a ' home' like the mom of my ex put it. I think its the guys mom or family that usually have issues with this and not the guy per say and once he can't put his foot down that's it. I'm married to an amazing man that didn't even think that is an issue at all and his family is spook nice to me. Truth is I won't want my daughter to cry the silent tears which I cried when these issues came up so I'll do my best to keep my marriage. It's not a pleasant experience to say the least.

Anonymous said...

I am from a broken home. My dad travelled abroad n never tried to contact us even till I was about to get married. I got married n my dowry was paid to his eldest brother. I am d only one in my new family now that is from a broken home. D rest of my husband brother's wives don't come from broken homes. Dont mind that family if u get married into it, you would regret it. Someone that wld respect u n not mind ur background is on d way. It is not like u are a gwez seff. Just chill and better shine ur eyes before u end up wid a goat that will make u repeat history.

Freda love said...

Hi at poster .... There are several broken home out there not those who are separated or divorced are termed "broken home " . It doesn't matter what your background was please stay strong and believe in your self . You will do fine !! It's your story ... You are to finish the remaining unwritten pages dear. Love yourself first , have a close relationship with God . Forgive those who hurt you and tell yourself you will be a force to reckon with . Dream and live your dreams... Everything else will fall in place .
When you have done all , and time for marriage trust God to bless you with a family that will love and respect you for who you're and not the background you come from ! Cheers to a great future ... From a girl like you *wink* who has seen that time makes the difference and life is what you made do of it !

Anonymous said...

Ask ur husband to show u how. He wld tell u. N u also try to attempt to do it. He knows u re from a broken home so he won't expect magic from u. Dont be a reason for history to repeat itself. Marriage is a school that we never stop learning.

Anonymous said...

The best thing that ever happened to us was my mum leaving my dad. He would hut her over nothing, almost every day! He was in the army...... the most wicked man I have seen in my 37years on earth. they have been separated for 27 years now. My parents story is a chronicle that I will share one day. For those of you stigmatising children from broken homes... I would break up my home anyday, anytime for the sake of my children's sanity than end up in the cemetery. An abusive home is toxic to the children. Divorce/ separation is better.

Anonymous said...

I was married traditionally but our living together was for less than a year. The man wasn't in Nigeria throughout the 2nd year which I was pregnant... this caused a great strain in the relationship which caused it to finally hit the rocks. My major concern now isn't myself by my innocent 6year baby girl who badly needs a man in her life. She melts when ever a man shows concern towards her...I'm usually worried and sometimes fear the psychological effect growing up without a man in her life will eventually have on her.

From a worried mum

Kilodé said...

The only reason im still with this fool is cos of my daughter. Im just looking for one nice temptation to cool my temper seriously!

Anonymous said...

I was bought up by a single mother and I am now a single mum sad really, but I have never experienced this stigma. Recently I met a man ready to accept me and my child and he is not from a broken home but desperate to marry and start having babies. I will never allow my kids to be without their mum and dad under the same roof. My ex's family I think hey ended our relationship because of this broken home issue but they never told me so I don't know sha but the mum use jazz to make her son turn his back on me and our child. But I will marry this new man in my life and prove everyone wrong.

Anonymous said...

I came from a broken home, my parents got separated 1997 wen am 10yrs old but b4 their separation my dad hits my mum with anything he can lay his hands,steal her money ,fucks her maids cos my mum is a food vendor, my father never buy pant for me or my siblings ,to crown it all my father almost stab my mum to death with a kitchen knife just dt me & my elder brother who was 12yrs+ den saw d knife he placed @ d pillow waiting for nite to come so he will kill my mum, my mum left her matrimonial house without pin my dad start using us as child slave to pple that need nanny & maids I had to run to my homeless mother,so with my elder bros ,we lived in incomplete building for 18months b4 an old family friend accomdated us only for him to took away my virginity @ young age of 12 resulting to me being pregnant I had my 1st child 3days to my thirteenth birthday 2nd Feb 2000, have nowhere to go the father of my child barely feeds me I had to sale purewater in d street with my brothers while my mum carry food around on her head as a food vendor, the father of my child took advantage of my situation I had 3kids for him 2boys &1 girl whom I train alone cos he treats me like a pack of faeces, he is a best friend to my dad now with d man I called me dad teaching him how to be ruthless& mean, I had to work hard to pay my fees tru sch,my kids,& my sibling so we have a better life b4 now I think men are all the same till I met my present boyfriend he is something else .UCHE ANYWHERE YOU ARE MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU. U are 1 in a million man . I passed tru a lot if things in my life both good ,bad ,urgly but am a single mum of 3,Nurse/midwife, Entertainer,bizness woman, & am below30yrs will be 30yrs next yr Feb . I give God thanks for my life so far. Wot I saw in life I don't wish for my worst enemy.
In my parents marriage wahala am the only victim cos my mum didn't marry again, my bros is happily married, my younger sisters are yet to be married sha. I hope to marry a man that loves me that will be a father I never had,
Nn: If you have a father that takes care of you / or a husband that lives up to his responsibility , who doesn't hit you pls Worship him cos that's the only thing I ask of my father& my ex

Anonymous said...

Well said dear, I also wish my parents broke up after I was born than growing up with both parents fighting all the time.

Cissy said...

God Bless your Mum...

Anonymous said...

I won't lie.....Am scared of marriage.

I won't go into the details of seperation but my mum left when i was 9 and made up with my dad when i was 17 few year after she passed on.

I lived with my das during the seperation and because he was always not around.I learnt to be by myself.Till tomorrow, I enjoy being alone.
I told my mum that i will never marry but she made promise her that i will.I also told her that if i see rubbish, I will walk and she saif i should stay "so that people wont say i took after her".

Just like Bishop Oyedepo says" Don't let your Background be the reason why your back id on the ground".

I have risen above all that, I have healed completely thanks to the Word.I also promised myself that no man born of a woman will take me for granted.

I wish i could use my Blog ID but i dont have liver...anonymous ti take over.

Anonymous said...

I can relate .....Am 32 and marriage is the last thing on my mind.I told myself by next year i will become a baby mama or adopt ig i can afford to take care of one(financial stability).

Well if i see someone i can leave with, maybe i will settle down but the problem is that i now want Perfect but no man is perfect.The moment a guy cheats on me,i discard the guy but i dont want a broken marriage.

What will happen if my husband cheats in future!??? This thought scares me.

Me i want Oyinbo, at least they are truthful and straight forward.If they cheat you discuss the way forward but Nigerian man will cheat and say its a mans world.

Anonymous said...

Kudos to ur dad,great mAn

Anonymous said...

Lol

TRUTH

Anonymous said...

Hmm....If I start to talk.Abeg I no get strength cuz i'm already getting teary eyed

NaMe BeDis said...


When people get scared that the cycle could continue, they are not very far from the truth. A girl is subconciously attracted to a man with similar traits as her dad. You can imagine when such traits are negative , she falls for a beast,endures for a while until she gets to her 'elastic limit' then finds her way out. That is no excuse to stigmatize anyone anyways, because a lot of families right here are dysfunctional. In a couple of years to come, it would get worse because more people are marrying for the wrong reasons and not raising their kids right.

Souljagurl said...

Well said candy G.

Anonymous said...

Ouhh. I'm so sorry anon 16:41. It is well with u dear.

Anonymous said...

Ouhh. I'm so sorry anon 16:41. It is well with u dear.

Anonymous said...

The decision your parents took?? Like seriously! Or the douchebag men u dated. My dear, those people from single homes that are happily married today, so u r saying they have 10 heads huh!! Be guided...

Anonymous said...

Learn to be grateful and thankful in any situation u find yourself, it will help u. Read self help books ( Google them and download or buy) and pick up your esteem. Your background does not influence you, your mindset is!!!

Anonymous said...

No future consequences anything abeg. Am from a broken home. The last time my dad saw me was when the I was 3yrs old. Now am 32yrs. My step dad gave me out in marriage as my dad and his pple didn't even know I exist. My step dad was the only father I knew. Took me to start primary school, paid my uni fees, took care of me when I was sick. Never for once did he abuse me. He would even go fight for me when I look for trouble sef. Am married now with 2kids. I would never wish them to come from a broken home. I have learnt a lot in life and I am determined to my kids the best.

Anonymous said...

I am one who advised my mum to break up with my dad because her crying moments were all I remember the most. I had finished secondary school when I advised her and I was ready to face life that way but she no gree leave her hubby o. She always said she did it for us especially her daughters, I don't know about my sister but for me they did more damage staying together. My mum will discuss her hubby badly with her sibling in my presence, same sibling will be doing eye service when my daddy shows up, what was I to learn or think? Same hubby don't show love to eachother, keep malice under same roof and a child living with them is supposed to remain sane? It was God that saved me, Grace found me. I am happily married and my hubby didn't understand a lot at first, I didn't tell him till now but he unknowingly helped with my healing


Broken home is better, if the parent you get to live with can give you all the love you need to grow up but if the parent is still going to be bitter anyway then stay married, the kids are the unlucky ones

Nigerians are beginning to reason better that it's not about how your parents lived but how you as individuals turn out. Can I let my kids marry a child from a broken home? Yes, we all can change the world

NaMe BeDis said...

*In a couple of years/In years to come.

Excuse my blunder joor.

xhlrted p said...

God bless you. Let the will of God be done in their lives. It was not their making, some were toddlers when the split occurred.
#sad

Anonymous said...

I am a product of a broken home. I felt bad when my parents broke up while I was young. My mom was financially capable, with strong morals. My siblings and I don't remember the difference. Maybe the whole thing has shaped me not to judge divorced/separated women too harshly even when others are condemning those who are not fortunate in marriage. I wonder the calibre of man or woman who would make me feel bad about coming from a separated home.....nor marry me if you nor like but just help me to make the decision early enough in or before the relationship starts.

Anonymous said...

My half sis is a product of broken home, my mum left her dad for mine and my sis is not doing any less. Her hubby is a typical African man and her being a product of broken home didn't raise any challenge settling down, she married at 23 and her inlaws adore her

Grace and how you present yourself goes a long way

Many ladies from a balanced home could still be rejected because their parents are not fit to be inlaws or because the lady is not a 'wife' somtin

Anonymous said...

He grew up with very stable guardians, which were his grandparents, who loved him and showed him the right path in life, so that greatly minimized the effects of his parents' breakup.

27littlethings said...

Your comment really touched me, because I have almost the same story as you, but unlike you I've decided to love myself and make my happiness my number 1 priority, yes I sometimes worry about getting married and keeping my marriage but it's not a problem, it doesn't define me,what I tell myself is once I am ready I will find the right man and my marriage will work. Once you can speak something into existence and picture that thing, then it is yours. You should learn to live in love and that means loving yourself thoroughly, because u can't give what u don't have. Once u banish this fearful thoughts from your life and start treating yourself better and loving your self , people will automatically do the same....

Anonymous said...

This is what we are saying, sacrificing for your kids to grow up being broken adults or walk away with them and give them all the love they need to face the very people left with such ill mentality whose opinion won't matter to them? Kids should be brought up in a healthy environment oooo
If your fear is how to cater for them, it's not too late to strategize and start up a biz or get a job and move them out, you will get your hubby to pay for school fees and some stuffs too if you know a good lawyer, you can even threaten to make him loose his job if he fails to pay his dues on his kids

Anonymous said...

You are so on point. Broken homes are bad, especially when the children have to go and stay with relatives or strangers who are abusive, or with an unfit parent. However, a broken home is better than a home that is not physically broken, but is full of all manner of abuse and atrocities. Kids from such homes are usually deeply affected and only the grace of God can help kids from such backgrounds. However, there are success stories.

Anonymous said...

I guess that is what is affecting Angelina Jolie today.

Anonymous said...

It will happen for you, many parents may naturally not be into you and use your parents separation as excuse really

Anonymous said...

You and your siblings really need to be guided. All my unmarried friends are not from a broken home and they feel rejected too! Tell it as its from day 1 to save you from the stupid guys coming to manipulate you because they can tell it is your fear. Meet his folks and confidently let them know you are who you are not a product of any stupid circumstances abeg

MrsBee

Anonymous said...

Chikito you are beginning to sound like Quicksilver.

Anonymous said...

Thumbs up, Grace will speak for you in all your steps including settling down. That's the way to go dear, you are who you choose to be not a victim of your parents action at all

MrsBee

BLESSED said...

Anon 19:37, Sister I can relate with your story, thank God yours ended in praise. God is wonderful. A broken home is very bad.

Anonymous said...

I and my siblings were brought up by my mum ,I never grew up with a dad. As I hrd I my father way a drunkard, after drinking he comes back and beat mum so my mum has to be separated from my dad and raised us up although my dad died about 17yrs ago .but now am happly married to the best man earth . A graduate never missed my dad for a day bcos my mum provides everything I need till I got married.











Anonymous said...

your wife is still with you because of ur kids too.Love ur wife and u will enjoy her.stop giving excuses.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Anon I'm not 😐

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Thank you! They have other reasons just using broken home as an excuse

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl for 24 hours said...

Hmmmm.... This is very sad and touching

One Nigeria said...

I feel sad reading all the sad stories here which were caused by broken homes.
sleep has eluded my eyes honestly.

I wish I can help everyone, well, it shall end in praise by God's grace.

Pls you people should use your blog Ids in case someone wants to help out in terms of counselling or otherwise.

Ruth Amos said...

Am from a broken home and because of how children from broken home are looked at , i refused to tell most people that am from a broken home apart from my close friends.
And from my dating experience i have Also observed that most guys dont want to marry a lady That is not in good terms with her father.Because of that, last 2yrs i had to go and connect with my dad at the age of 25yrs ,this is a man that i dont even know what he looks like and abadoned me at a very young age after divorcing my mom, not even gf, he was married to my mom.
And the stupid man has the guts to blame my mom for him not seeing me and not spending a dime on me, the only money my dad has spent on me is #70,000 for my final year Project and that was because i had to call him to ask when My mom couldnt afford it after paying my school fees which is much and has just lost her job.
Well am still in good terms with him cos i want him to be there to give my hand out in marriage , after that, am not sure i will ever reach out to him , since he didnt reach out to me.

my opinion said...

Congrats xp!

Anonymous said...

Thank u ooooo Osinachi. Epp us ask chikito how earnings n abroad matter take enter dis talk. Bloody irritant

Anonymous said...

Yes you should have a ssegment to share polygamous home and broken home stories trust me you would be amazed the damaged that is causing our society. I am from a polygamous home it has affected me so much that I know what it feels like not to be accepted thus I get to treat everyone with excessive care with the fear of them leaving.... I fear people leaving me.... but thank God am getting better.... and loving myself much more anybody who want to go can gerat... I have already mastered loyalty.... anybody who marries me shall be blessed.

Lilly simple said...

Busted

Anonymous said...

God bless you and your step dad.

Anonymous said...

My uncle received my dowry cos my dad left when I was 3 years old. Never took care of me. He was called to come to the Villa for my marriage rites but he never showed up from introduction to white wedding. He told someone to tell us that he is ashamed to show up since he didn't raise me. So you talking about consequences tell me what could have been done in this case

Anonymous said...

Osinachi your hubby is not exposed

Anonymous said...

Stella do one on children from polygamous homes, at least I can comment there. Lol

Nemerem said...

The stories here are downright heart breaking, I will say a Prayers for you all.
Please if you can seek counselling, read motivational books, love yourselves and above all ask God to help you; He is one person that will never leave nor abandon you.

Anonymous said...

Bet there's also no light in your cave. Im sure light is a Hollywood or Nollywood.

Anonymous said...

My sis in law is from a broken home ...her useless father wante to frustrate the trad wedding but his brothers no gree. Dusted his dusty ass to come and eat on the wedding day after swearing that the wedding won't take place cos she's catholic and my bro Anglican. A girl whose life you didn't contribute a dime towards, whose career as a lawyer you didn't spend a dime in the coming to scatter her wedding? She and her mama (May she rest in peace) swear for the yeye man and he respected himself. Today 6years and counting they have a beautiful marriage. She has said her marriage will not end up like her parents and thank God my brother is reciprocating.

My husband is from a broken home. He's father denied him when his mother was Pregnant with him (its a long story) bottom line is that he didn't grow up with him, didn't even know what he looks lik not until I started dating him and encouraged him to make up with him...not that my people cared less (having dealt with my dear brother's wife father) but I felt it was the rigth thing to do. Big mistake! Now i can see why my mom in law hates him...usually though it was because of the denial...mba! The man is cunny, crafty, wicked and jealous. Women have issues with their nne di but me am battling both spiritually and otherwise with a wicked father in law...but my God big pass am. His son (my hubby ) has sworn that history will never repeat itself and keeps him at an arms length make he no come spoil his marriage for him.
My point? Most kids from broken homes turn out beautifully well and are determined to make their marriages work. So if you are stereotyping, stop it. It's like saying a particular tribe make terrible spouses. Having a successful marriage is an individual thing ànd involves 2people determined to make it work. Afterall I have seen marriages crumble and the people involved came from loving tightly knitted homes.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately most people from broken homes tend to repeat the cycle unconsciously. But with a loving and committed partner the marriage will work. Divorce, separation etc, once the parents had a messed up relationship, the children do not know how to doggedly make the marriage work. Every little thing they will leave the house for you. Imagine a boy that had no father to bring him up, how will he learn to be a father. As their partner you must be dedicated to teach them what you know to make sure they learn.

Anonymous said...

How does the jazz work?

Anonymous said...

Ask his mum na

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl loves Aeegurl said...

Anon 04:28- come out of anonymous mode nau. Are you scared? Beggar

Anonymous said...

At least urs gave u 70k for project. The only money my dad spent on me was to abort me and he was proud to tell me.

Ruth Amos said...

So sorry to hear that, some men are so pathetic and should not be allowed to be fathers but unfortunately they are the ones that get women pregnant easily,

Ruth Amos said...

Lets try to end this circle and try to choose good fathers for our unborn children.

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