Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Cheating And It's Ricochet In A Marriage.

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Friday, 30 September 2016

Cheating And It's Ricochet In A Marriage.

Its time for another couch Session..
This is Strictly for married couples but singles can read and learn.




After the session on snooping, ‎I read the comments and lots of people actually belong to the team snooping and proud. 
From the comment section, most people that snoop are women.

I will share a brief story on snooping and the result.

While we were in Uni, we would talk about men and cheating, and it always ends with, all men cheat! This argument always comes up and it always ends with, men are polygamous in nature so they will always cheat.

My best friend is married, her husband is a good man, but he cheats.

I am the one that always hears the last of it, the pain she feels each time she discovers what he does. I keep saying, this too shall pass., don't worry, he will change.

I won't tell anyone to snoop or not to snoop, what rocks your boat mehn! Whatever makes you satisfied and feeling your in charge.

So she will always call or chat me up, ' he has started oo! He is throwing a party for a girl in a hotel, I have even confirmed everything, why would he be doing this? I am a good wife and mother', and while trying to advise her, I try to be careful with my words, so it's always the same word, Nne don't worry, this too shall pass! But I feel her pain, but I wasn't able to help her get over the pain.  One day I even jokingly told her, but babe why you dey cry nah? She na you dey champion am for school then, say all men must cheat....... why are you now crying, didn't you go in prepared? We just laugh over it.


Sometimes, she would confront him, he accepts, apologise, change.... and she will be soo happy! ' Nne, hubby has changed oh... comes home early now... plays with the kids, he even took me out this weekend' and I will be like, you see.... this has passed. Give him a month, he is back at the game, she snoops again, and finds out he is cheating, in fact, worse than ever. 


On one of the occasions, while she confronted him, things got ugly, unpleasant words were spoken, she called me and said she was leaving with her kids, that she couldn't take It anymore, I asked if he kicked her out, she said No, she was done and that her driver will be bringing them to my house, I said Nooooo, he should drive you to your parents house I will meet you there. She didn't argue or get angry, she just said okay I just didn't wanna get inbetween them or be the topic of conversation, so I went there to see her and the kids. 


She went home, told her parents her story, her dad was angry, her mum cried, me too I cried. So the. Next day, I went to work from there, later she called that her hubby was there, I said, oh wow...... so how far, you go follow am go house? She said he is still with her mum, her dad had gone to work, so he waited till the man came back. He apologised pleaded with them and all, surprisingly, my friend followed him back home, and the marriage continued. 


This days when I ask how far Bros, she will be like em dey ooo, all dem babes nko? She goes like Nne, am tired of hurting myself, so I don't even know, I don't check his phones anymore. Make I face my children biko. My husband is a good man that can't help but cheat and I love him, I believe one day he will change for good, I will chorus, Amen oooooo.

And the list goes on and on, my colleagues talk about their cheating husbands and all, my aunties complain about this same issue, my sister will munch and send a message a babe sent her hubby or vice versa, but yet, these women stay in the marriage but I think they stay because of what I call HOPE.


Please, guys..... I know some of you have experienced such too from your wives. Oh honey, am off to church, and you decide to go to church and she isn't there etc. So my post isn't about cheating men, but couples who cheat.


My question is this, what do most couples do after they find out their spouse is cheating‎?

1. Do they separate or divorce them?
2. Do they revenge by cheating as well?
3. Do they stay and hope he changes?
4. Do they still make love to them unprotected?
5. Do they avoid snooping since they don't really know about it except they snoop.

Also I have these questions for women specifically, I ask myself these questions too, maybe your answers might help me figure it all out.

1. Most women say men will always cheat, my question is, why then do you marry knowing this fact?
2. ‎Most women do not trust men, what are you doing in that relationship? 
3. Most women snoop and find out their men are cheating, why are you still in that marriage even when you know he is cheating?



BV Onyinye.... that's not my blog ID though, I still want to be able to comment in peace, some of us no like fight.


*Hmmmm this is deep.

130 comments:

stunning slim shady said...

Mrs anonymous 29 September 2016 at 21:37

Chidubem 1000 likes to your comment.Nothing private in marriage.I don't snoop cos no reason to & we both have access to our phones anytime .Stella ,Define privacy in marriage please πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

Bluebird said...

Hmmm, God helps us.

Bluebird said...

Help*

Aeegurl... said...

I'm tired of this topic jare. I need money oh Lord!!

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Hmmmm. Onyinye wait till you get married. You'll proffer answers yourself!

Blackberry said...

Ask otedola's wife how she copes.
If u cannot live with a cheating partner, park n go back to your parents, it's not rocket science, it's simple, in or out!

white Berry said...

Nice post and read all of it, leave those saying they love snooping and after snooping you find out he is cheating on you, you cry ur eyes out and still remains in the marriage, doesn't that make you so cheap. Ideato the senseless being I saw your comment when you attacked me on my post, Plz run fast here and get in here. I think that I why you are still boo less asking for every post to link you up with their brother, get some sense and stop snooping only when the situation gets out of hand I think snooping should be allowed. May God help marriages and relationships of this days.

Anonymous said...

I Cheat on my wife everyday she knows it and cannot stop me

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Na wa ooo,this is a nice topic ooo,let me read comments

STARRY LARRY said...

@Poster, are you married or not? When everybody complains about their cheating hubby, what's yours doing? Is he not cheating on you or he's cheating and you've accepted your fate?

Now to answer some of your questions, a man who cheat and flaunt it to his wife's face is useless. I know most men cheat but not all of them. I'm happy your friend has don't the right thing, let her face her kids, but if na another person, she too go start keeping side boo ni o and God no go vex




*Larry was here*

Adadioramma said...

Mhh Onyinye, you are making a point. Ask your friend if her husband make protected sex with those side chics. Whatever rocks your boats though.

Becky Divine said...

After all this long epistle, I still stand with #TeamSnoop till next century

It is better to be safe than sorry! Ignorance is Not bliss!! It's just stupidity
Continue writing excuses u hear mshewww

starshine said...

This is really deep. I can't stand a cheating husband oo. The day i catch him cheating that will be the end

Isi beke said...

Truth is not all men cheat, there are still very good faithful men and fortunately for me i married one

Audrey said...

This would be intereting,reading mode activated.

Anonymous said...

I Cheat coz I love sex so much one woman is not enough for me

Anonymous said...

Any woman that goes into a marriage always thinking about, is he cheating? You are just on a long thing. I got married abit late at 33, so I had so many experiences when it comes to relationships.
I practically blocked my mind while dating my husband, my priority is, does he love me, does he provide well for me, dos he respect me, will he make a good father, is he a genuinely good person. All these answers were all YES. So I agreed to marry him.
To tell you d truth iv been so hurt by infidelity from my ex that my priority just shifted to I want to be a mother, instead of I want to be a wife. Marriage came for me bcos I wanted kids badly.
I have never once gone through his fone while dating or married. I don't need that headache, I will rather block it out and have my sanity. He has never faulted in his ability to provide, and be a good husband and father. I am happy with that.
My real joy is with my kids. I have my family, I have my business. Even if he is cheating I don't really want to know. I want to live a worry free life.
I have an aunt that literally went insane and had a mental breakdown bcos of her husband infertility, she became angry with d world and lived a sad life till she died. The husband is still alive, married to a new wife.
As human beings, your happiness shld be in your hands and not in ur husbands hands. Don't live a sorrow filled life bcos of infidelity. You are only harming urself and ur kids.

Tianah said...

Will read comments... Nice write up. Thankyou

Debbie me said...

Let the comments roll in.

Anonymous said...

hmmmm

stunning slim shady said...

To secretly spy on or investigate, especially into the private personal life of others.
noun (plural snoops)


If u don't respect d vow we took @ d alter before men n God then ur privacy need not be respected. Whereas privacy is ruled out in marriage cos even d bible affirms dat d 2 shall become 1.

Btw why shud ur phone be more Private than ur PrivatE Part?

Anonymous said...

I know of a man that doesn't cheat but he beats up his wife everyday. God help us

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

I've trust issues
I don't trust anybody,but myself

And I'm also of the school of thought that all men cheat
Cause I believe all men cheat then I shouldn't get married? Nah
I snoop because I'm a very curious person
I can't just sit and not know things
If I'm married and I find out my husband is cheating,i would start using protection and it would remain that way until I'm sure he has stopped

No one should advice women not to snoop
Snooping is good
It guides you.

Imelda D said...

So because I am not married I should not comment k. Let me stop typing. Strictly for married people. We hear.

beeolah said...

This is deep real deep hmmmmm

chikavincent1 said...

Ok nau, am not married o, reading commemt, wen u careless about ur cheating horseband he will definately get fucking tired, make I no go get BP abeg. This life is very sweet ooooooooo..

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Thinking too much of what others think of you ultimately changes what you think of yourself*

Anonymous said...

My husband told me that in his village a cheating woman do run mad, he said na hear him hear am nd has nt witnessed it, 2mnths afta wedding, dh started hiding his phone and ipad and I was lyk y will this man be hiding his phone,meanwhile in my house my parents r free with their phones,cos sometimes my dad will want to sleep,nd will tell my mum to answer his calls etc, we alwz complain of been tired weneva I want to touch him,we were alwz having sex 2 or 4 times in a mnth and me wey lyk sex die, I will try nd hold myself, one day I snoop nd found out he add a lot of girls on fbk nd take them out for lunch or dinner, he wasn't scared that I will jam him outside with any girl coz I was new to that town... he chatted up a girl nd the girl refused nd I told him abt him asking a girl out for dinner, he said he didn't do such nd that I shdnt allow a 3rd party lie to me coz they will want to break our home nd I told him,the lady forwarded the chat to me, he lied saying maybe some1 chatted with his phone, that night,he begged and begged, sometimes I snoop nd see plenty chat that I will confront him nd he will be imagining how I got to find out coz he dey guard him phone wella, until one day he fell ill and doctors couldn't find or give a name to the sickness, I use to hear of pple who fall ill as a result of cheating on their wives in my place, so one night,i woke him up nd told him nd how a family frnd died cos he chatted on his wife nd doc couldn't give a name to the sickness, my husband's eyes nd mouth was wide opend, he knelt nd said I shd forgive him,that he cheated,can u imagine I was sex starved meanwhile he was fucking around, to cut long story short,coz this sickness lingered for a year, he gave his life to christ and every morning he prays against temptation nd going back to his old sins nd how he has vowed never to cheat on his wife. Bla Bla Bla cos she suffered nd was there for him when he was down. And how his adulterous ways almost cost his life. And as for the fone issue, him no dey carry him fone dey run again.

Mama Afrika said...

To the best of my knowledge my husband doesnt cheat and i trust him. . . even more than he trusts himself. BUT if he cheats;

The first time - i will forgive him (everybody makes mistakes)

The second time - i will most likely still forgive him but it will depend on his general attitude towards me and our kids.

But when it becomes a continuous thing i will either leave the marriage or just co-habit with him and put him in prayers for the sake of the kids (no sex until he changes his ways).

But in all these if he is cheating continuously with ONE particular person then there is fire on the mountain ooo.

Anonymous said...

My husband told me that in his village a cheating woman do run mad, he said na hear him hear am nd has nt witnessed it, 2mnths afta wedding, dh started hiding his phone and ipad and I was lyk y will this man be hiding his phone,meanwhile in my house my parents r free with their phones,cos sometimes my dad will want to sleep,nd will tell my mum to answer his calls etc, we alwz complain of been tired weneva I want to touch him,we were alwz having sex 2 or 4 times in a mnth and me wey lyk sex die, I will try nd hold myself, one day I snoop nd found out he add a lot of girls on fbk nd take them out for lunch or dinner, he wasn't scared that I will jam him outside with any girl coz I was new to that town... he chatted up a girl nd the girl refused nd I told him abt him asking a girl out for dinner, he said he didn't do such nd that I shdnt allow a 3rd party lie to me coz they will want to break our home nd I told him,the lady forwarded the chat to me, he lied saying maybe some1 chatted with his phone, that night,he begged and begged, sometimes I snoop nd see plenty chat that I will confront him nd he will be imagining how I got to find out coz he dey guard him phone wella, until one day he fell ill and doctors couldn't find or give a name to the sickness, I use to hear of pple who fall ill as a result of cheating on their wives in my place, so one night,i woke him up nd told him nd how a family frnd died cos he chatted on his wife nd doc couldn't give a name to the sickness, my husband's eyes nd mouth was wide opend, he knelt nd said I shd forgive him,that he cheated,can u imagine I was sex starved meanwhile he was fucking around, to cut long story short,coz this sickness lingered for a year, he gave his life to christ and every morning he prays against temptation nd going back to his old sins nd how he has vowed never to cheat on his wife. Bla Bla Bla cos she suffered nd was there for him when he was down. And how his adulterous ways almost cost his life. And as for the fone issue, him no dey carry him fone dey run again.

Nwa AMAKA said...

Let me start from your question to women.

1. Any woman that gets married with the mind set of men always cheat must be cheap,low self esteem and lack value for herself. That is to say her self worth is zero.
I got married to the best man ever. I have never snooped because he never gave me any reason to do that not because I don't want to get hurt.
2.I trust my husband completely. To me trust is the most important thing in marriage.trust brings about love. If I don't trust you, I cannot love you. If a woman don't trust her man, then she's not to be trusted too. How will a union stand without trust.
3.They are still in the marriage because that is the society we live in. The society will make a woman who left a cheating husband look like the culprit. Her mother will even advice her to stay and manage.

If you find out that your spouse is cheating, divorce him because it is biblical.
2.Nothing like cheating revenge. It is called adultery and if you cheat, u have no moral justification to say it is revenge because you just messed up yourself. I advice you walk away instead of allowing a man or woman turn you to dog.
3. If you decide to stay good for you but for me I cannot stay because anytime the man touch I will remember his sin. There won't be peace.
4. For me, I can't even serve you food not to talk of my body.
5.I advice total respect for person belongings. Yes you become one but respect tge other partner's privacy.

Finally, the four way test before marriage.
Love test- Love happens naturally. It can sometimes be faked but not for long. This is more common with women. God does not compel anyone to love.

2.peace test- weigh your "peaceometer" with the person you are about getting married to. If you don't have peace, don't go into it.

3.Conviction test- that is persuasion beyond confusion. If it is not real it can never be realized.

4.Time test- give it time. Tell exposes flaws. The sAying time will tell is true.

warning:Don't be prophesied into marriage...



Anonymous said...

I give God glory for my marriage, I know some people will say na lie or 'yinmu' but not problem. All I know and sure of is that my husband has never cheated on me since we got married 15 years ago. This year November will be our 16th years of marriage but he has never cheated on me. After our marriage, some friends make jest of him that is because he is newly married that they gave him 2 years but till today he have never break the vow. Even in his office they know him even my boss knows him. My husband is good looking and of good height.

White Diamond said...

* sigh *

Well, I belong to the category of people that don't believe that all men cheat. And I'm speaking from experience.

Let me wait for comments mbok.

#WhiteDiamondOut

PLATINUM said...

Poster lemme borrow ur word. This too shall pass. Amen oo

youngman said...

A cheating man can abandon his responsibilities in the home. A cheating man can end up marrying a second or third wife. A cheating husband can get and infect his wife with disease. A cheating man can spit his hard earned money between his wife and other women. A cheating man can leave his wife and go and live with another woman. But a cheating man can never kill his wife merely because he wants to be with another woman and he perceives his wife as an impediment, never.

A cheating wife can abandon her responsibilities at home. A cheating wife makes money for herself alone through cheating. A cheating wife can degrade, abuse, nag and in may ways cause hbp for the husband because she still stays under the husband's roof while cheating. A cheating wife can collect and infect her husband with disease. Above everything else, a cheating wife would kill and eliminate her husband in order to have a clear way to be with her new man if she considers her husband an impediment to actualising her desire to have an unfettered access to the man she is cheating with or even the man's wife or concubine if he has any

Vivilicious said...

Waiting to hear from the married people.

Sonia said...

Marriage is hard work. Both parties should try and make it work.

I'd rather channel my energy to raising well balanced kids than thinking about any side chick or chickens.


Anonymous said...

Hmm very very deep. I guess it's just hope that keeps us, the kids n well our vows to be here for better or worse. Marriage isn't only for the good times.

Chysugar said...

My only contribution is this:If ur nan cheats once, forgive, twice still forgive, the 3rd time, punish him severely... Stella love, pls change this couch, its old and worn out. Will come back n read comments

Mrs anonymous said...

1.Most couple I know separated & reconciled(men was the cheater)
2.Two people I know personally cheated as a revenge.One even had two abortion for Boyfriend
3.Most women say they are in the marriage because of their kids.The women I mentioned above,one of them has just a child & I adviced her to leave instead of committing adultery & she said he will take her child.He suspected she wants to move abroad and seized the child's passport.May God help us all cos every Mallam with his kettle.

Anonymous said...

For me i cheat on my hubby cos he no dey give me rest of mind... I can bet with my lazt breathe dat he is not cheating on me. We av a child 2geda... My side boo is, married too but shes nt arnd. We were actually ment to get married but dts a stoey for anoda day (mayb not). R gives me sooo much joy, settles me wella, but we avnt eaten d cookie yet.. Dou we sextalk n alldt. Will be seein him soon nd am so sure we wld get down cos am horny as fk. Hubby hasnt touched me in 3months.. He was a V wen we married.. Hes nt a sex freak neida am i but wen i want it he doesnt. Bo make i stop here jare. I cheat cos it makes me sane.

Judge me if u av never sinned!

Anonymous said...

Anon13:26 I hope the sickness is not HIV related

Sarah Bella said...

Hope,faith,courage and tolerance is the key.

Mrs. Romas said...

Even though you make it seems like your epistle is about couple who cheats, but your tone is about men who cheats.

Day in day out, i read on this blog how married women cheats and commits different kinds of atrocity even with same sex, but you never deem it fit to write about it and bring it to the couch so we can deliberate on it.

If you enters a marriage with the belief that all men cheats, then your man will surely cheat on you. I'm so tired of that statement; "All men cheat".
Who do they cheat with? Do they cheat with wood?
God created both man and woman, we are intertwined, we need each other to survive this world and nothing any of you men bashing miserable women can do about it.
I'm tired of almost every topic being about men and how they are monster.
I have seen and heard more married women commits/committing adultery the last 10 to 20 years, yet all we hear about is all men cheats. Enough already!

I know lot men who does not cheats on their wife, but we are in a time were bad people are not reproved for their evil deeds, but men are being reproved daily for being born men.
I hate cheats and dislike people who cheats whether man or woman, i don't support any.
The generalisation should stop, the fact that your husbands cheat doesn't mean mine cheats or other men would cheat.

La'creamie said...

I was asking a man why does he cheat on his wife, what he replied me was NNE forget that thing, I know what u want to say but believe me... he told me he has never quarrelled with his wife. So @times am like why do men cheat.

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

Eerrrrm *clears throat* I will answer the first question.
I steffysofynsofly belong to that school of thought who believe that ALL MEN CHEAT. And i will marry bcoz I want a home, my home,my children, my happiness. Now let me explain I can't have a child without a man (husband) as I can't have a child outside wedlock so I need a man for that. Will my husband be my happiness? Nope!!! but he will be a part of it bcoz my children will be my happiness. Why will a woman not think her husband will cheat atleast once in their marraige?Women just love to live in denial, they know its going happen sooner or later yet they keep telling themselve sweet lies just so they won't get hurt or sleep well at night. I am a realist, I love to tell mysef the truth. ALL MEN CHEAT you just have to be smart enough to marry one who will apologize with a diamond or a ferrari lols coz they always apologize and we women being the weaker vessel ( which is not our fault by the way coz its inbuilt) forgive and move on. Women need wisdom to handle a cheating husband but its unfortunate most women of nowadays arent gifted with any.So moving back to the question WHY STAY WITH A CHEATING HUSBAND? ask yoursef this question as a married woman that you "is" is he a good father?is he a responsible father to you kids?does he provide the daily needs for you and your family? Is he entirely useless? Or does he have a good side? Does his bad behaviour outweighs the good behavior? You gatta weigh these things. So tell me will you give up your children happiness bcoz of a cheating husband? What if he is a responsible father to your kids? I have seen men who are chronic cheat but responsible parents to their kids. Does he disrespect you by flaunting it on ya face.We are humans and those are part of the reason why we aren't perfect.I believe couples should learn to communicate, understand why he cheats,tho there isnt any justification for that but talk about it, dont lock everthing up side you. He might be a terrible husband but if he is a good father all I gat to say is watch WAR ROOM.lols
And to all you yeye cheating men thinking am siding you people pray you don't marry a woman who will chop off ya cock bfor you even think bout putting it in a smelly vagina.
Abeg I am tired of typing.











*hangs leg on the cupboard*



*hangs leg on the cupboard*

Becky Divine said...

Taaah gbafuo here
See this goat!

Loveme Jeje said...

I wonder about this topic. Abeg no comments or saying things.

I need money for things to do. If it is money, make una hallo me, i go rush come

Becky Divine said...

Wow! I never thought I'd see this day. Is it possible our epistle writer doesn't have any epistle to write today?
But babe I was looking forward to it na lol πŸ“πŸ“

Becky Divine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mao Akuh said...

Whenever I read about cheating, I talk to myself and probably ask people around... what has this person gain by cheating? #Pleasure that will last for how long? Well as one grows old, the strength might not be there to allow you do some certain things and then the past will come calling but no power to buy back your past.

Cheating has led to so many cases of divorce, while some men change from it as they get old, the stupid/foolish ones perish in it.

WE can't continue to be glorifying sin just because the society accepts such. I think it has to do with one's stupid mentality.
Be aspire to fall into those 10% faithful men anytime anyday.

Anonymous said...

Men cheat, men cheat, do they cheat with goats; isn't it shameless women that open vaginas to them? Doesn't it take two to tango? If all men are polygamous, then all women are polyandrous. But realistically, I know that it is neither "all" men nor "all" women. Evil does not have a gender!

Anonymous said...

The way to hell is paved with good -yes, I said it. After all, we were told that it is broad whereas that of heaven is narrow (that means difficult to access).
I will give you the same piece of advice I gave my friend (let's call her Ada). She was hurt because her husband fucked her bridesmaid and even made "porn" out of it. I asked her, "are you going to divorce him", she said "no". (mind you, the man was remorseful, which she also admitted.) Then I said, "work it out, pray it out, wait it out . . . be calm and let him try to decode you etc." She instead grabbed an ex's penis and sucked and fucked. This was an ex that was hurting from being dumped for the "rich guy". Now, when she eventually made up with her hubby, she dumped the ex again; bad move. The guy sent "everything" to both her phone and the husband's phone and even the phone of her pastor whom they both had had counsel from and earthquakes began. Her marriage was over in less than 24 hours. She couldn't attend church again, she slipped into major depression, lost her job and so on. Mind you that she had her hubby's porn on her phone too. But no one was interested in that one.
So, go on lady, keep meeting in all the places and as for fuck; on your max, set, booooooooooooooom! Na boko haram bomb be dat!

Mao Akuh said...

Before I open this post, I went outside my office to stretch my legs and saw 2 flies mating, I stood and was watching them but my thought goes to men,and I started relating it to men - #StupidThoughtIGuess. Even if animals, insects, etc are polygamous in nature, God has given us power to control certain things and must be used wisely.

There are more to LIFE than cheating/pleasure.

Mama Afrika said...

Thank God for you, may God kepp him that way. It is not impossible for a man to stay faithful. Not all men cheat.

Anonymous said...

And you think she is not cheating too?

Mama Afrika said...

Your first paragraph is babash! Watch channel 171 on DSTV and have a re-think both men and women are capable of killing their spouses.

Nedum! said...

Chai! This is easily the most sensible and practical response I have read so far! Your husband is a wise man! Abeg hail am for me!

Anonymous said...

Better to know, to protect yourself. HIV is real.

Tiger H said...

Men are born cheaters
Women ain't left outta the graph

Cheating is per individual

Anonymous said...

Will you take it if your wife love Sex and one man is not enough for her? Go and read the 10 commandment and change.

Anonymous said...

If I find out he is cheating, I will detach myself emotionally from him and use protection during sex. I no wan die before God's appointed time.

Anonymous said...

If I find out he is cheating, I will detach myself emotionally from him and use protection during sex. I no wan die before God's appointed time. My husband loves and respects me. He makes good money and does not joke with me and our kids. I can't leave him for any side chicken.

SHAKITI BABY said...

Hmmmm.,This is my situation right now.
My hubby can cheat with anything.
friends,families and neighbors.
I have beg him to atleast do it far away from me but he is not ready to change.
This is someone that is so broke ooo.
Have decided to stop having sex with him.
Thank God i have 2 children to focus on and i wont stop snooping and i will live when am financially stable.

Olufemi Atinmo said...

Me I don't think cheating is the worst thing that can happen. As for me if you cheat but you provide, treat me well, are a good father then I will stay at least until the kids grow up to give them a stable upbringing. I will simply keep sex between us to a minimum and make you use 2 condoms. I may or may not leave you when the kids are over 18.

If you are cheating and you cannot provide and are not fully involved in the kids lives then like a ghost ill be gone.

Anonymous said...

Just mAke sure u don't give her STD die alone u hear

millicent Enyi said...

Well,i don't snoop because my husband doesn't cheat on me,he uses my phone anytime,I do likewise,cause we have nothing to hide,he confides in me I do likewise, because we are friends, you should be friends with your spouse from the onset, if not nothing works.some people will see all the negative signs and still choose to marry their partners,whatever is worth doing......

XOXO MYSTERY said...

I was team snoop but now I am no more.
I naturally would expect to have passwords to my husband's phone and account but then I will not be snooping and snooping.

My believe is , if God does not watch over a city, the watchman watches in vain.

I get down on my knees and pray. I believe that when I pray and trust God, even if 'hubby' want to cheat, that relationship will fizzle out and I don't even have to know about it so as not to destroy the trust we have in our marriage . Same applies to me if I want to look outside.

If you understand the grace of God, you would understand the reason to be worry free, stress free, happy and fulfilled, trusting God in every thing.

I understand why some are Team snoop because you want to take control of things before it happens but are you really taking control or developing HBP? I understand some are Team snoop so the man will not give them diseases but does snooping actually prevent a man from giving you diseases. There are men with clean phone, nothing incriminating can ever be found in their phone if you snoop forever, yet they live double lives.


Look at our relationship with God.
Do you know how many disasters God has saved you from while you were asleep? You did not have to lift a finger to prevent it? Do you know how many disasters God has still saved you from even while you were doing very bad things? You did not know that God is so merciful as to save you from something so terrible even while you are doing something terrible. Do you know how many disasters God has saved you from even while you were awake and conscious?

That is why I believe that I don't necessarily have to snoop for God to save my marriage and protect me from disaster. I don't have to snoop for God to stop my husband from cheating. The way God works and the way he loves me, God will naturally stop my husband from making any mistake and I don't even have to know about it because God wants to preserve my innocence , sanctity and my respect for my husband as the head of the home.

This is my opinion. It may seem dumb but that is what I believe.
I am Team Jesus all the way.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Tracy Parker said...

Very wise words indeed.

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

πŸ˜™πŸ˜—πŸ˜—

Anonymous said...

Ah i'm happy to hear that,and i pray God continues to keep your home and may God bless your husband abundantly for not breaking your trust or his vows to God nd not giving in to peer pressure.

Anonymous said...

Ah i'm happy to hear that,and i pray God continues to keep your home and may God bless your husband abundantly for not breaking your trust or his vows to God nd not giving in to peer pressure.

Anonymous said...

So how many times have you fucked and sucked him that you know his wife is "coping"?

Anonymous said...

First time I caught my hubby cheating via snooping, I almost ran mad! I no fit sleep that night! sudden fever enter my body! The painful part was that I had warned off my pal who hinted to me that Hubby was getting frisky with a woman at their work place. I swore my man could never do that and she should please stay out of our marriage. EwoO! now my eyes don see evidence korokoro!

I cried my eyes out in the bathroom that night, asking God how he could let this happen to my marriage? Funny enough, the thought of my friends knowing was more hurtful to me at that point than his cheating. I was like, couldn't he even hide it? why was he so proud of this woman that he could risk our happy marriage by flaunting his affair at the office knowing I had friends working there.

I prayed and asked God for wisdom and the strength to handle this, because, God knows I wouldn't know how to begin a new relationship after all these years if I choose to leave him and besides, I know he loves me and was extremely generous emotionally and financially to me and our children. My people, God answered my request o! and I was able to handle the matter without breaking my home.
I let hubby know I was aware of his affair and I just needed to know WHY? He sat there looking at me like a guilty puppy then confessed he didnt know why he allowed himself. As he wan form tears, na so my acting skill come out! I wailed, rolled on the floor, threatened to tell our Children, Parents, Pastor, etc then I feigned fainting! Was rushed to the hospital, spent 2 days just lying there watching him fuss over me with guilt. Long story short, I got a new car out of it, he change 2 of our properties into solely my name, even bought a new plot for me to prove he cant afford to loose me. I forgave my Hubby, I cant swear he is not doing any kurukere moves, but he goes another extra mile to make up for that one indiscretion.

We are back where I think we were before that incident, though, I insist on us doing medicals quarterly. I love my man so I stayed.Its every woman's choice to make when faced with the situation. E no easy, but tell me, who will I move on to if I leave my Hubby? I didnt wish to me 'The other woman' in my ripe age, so I patched my home and moved on.....

Annaa

Anonymous said...

You are the most matured female on this blog. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

I speak from experience
My husband has cheated on me a numerous amount of times.
I've caught him in hotels I've had girlfriends call me and insult me, I've seen video recordings of him with threesomes with different girls, Ive been at places/events where girls have bragged about him, not knowing I'm his wife.

The funny thing is that I'm one of the smartest women you can ever come across, unfortunately for me when I was financially stable I didn't have the guts to leave family encouraged me to pray that he would change, that didn't help.
The worst is that I'm not allowed to say no to sex with him or it turns into a big fight, so sometimes I silently cry sometimes I just have my mind wander whenever my widely duties have to be fulfilled.
I can't just walk away because of my kids and my family, in the bread winner of my family.
I just praying to GOD'S for financial breakthrough so I can move on.
People see us outside and think we are the best couple little do they know the sadness I face behind closed doors
Nothing worst than feeling trapped.

Anonymous said...

Isi bike, congratulations!!!
I feel relieved to hear your testimony and I will hope for such a man too. By the way my name is Isi too.

L'Amour said...

Seriously, not all men cheat. If your spouse cheated and is remorseful afterwards insist on tests for STDs. No matter how many times he cheats, so long as you are willing to take him back make sure he is clean. As for whether to quit or to stay in the marriage; nobody can make that decision for another person, and you cannot know what you will do till you are in that situation. cos there may be many other things to put into consideration before a person will decide to leave or stay

xhlrted p said...

#teamsnoop

My dear NOT ALL MEN CHEAT. Mine isn't cheating but i got to keep tabs because everything is still on raw basis. And the worse is the women are the ones toasting him. I sit on the floor to dissect his privacy, most times he catches me but would say nothing, some he takes time to explain the real situation. Women are DEVILS. If they work hard at it they can get any man. Scary ish!

The sausage will be in my mouth everyother day. If i look the other way, won't I be downloading the diseases? And knowing men's resolution I go ahead and marry? Of course I will marry, ejirò mgbagbu ayalì ògù. Go fulfill purpose. It is your destiny, what God wants for a girl.


You can't leave your marriage because he cheated, it rains everywhere. The next husband you marry may likely cheat too. So, how many husbands do you get to marry? There's family to run to when shit goes up, never wait for it to hit the fan.
Pray. Consult. Listen. Act

Anonymous said...

Na where u come from Anon 13:36 ? Mennnnnn!!!! All thanks to God sha

La'creamie said...

NNE chop knuckle...I don't go through my bf's phone e no concern me abeg

Anonymous said...

I tap oooo. Congrats madam
Truly not all men cheat.

Monkey Face said...

Jamies! 😍

Monkey Face said...

Jamies

youngman said...

Channel 171 on Dstv iznt showing what is happening in,Nigeria or what Nigerians are doing. I have not seen or heard a Nigerian, an igbo man killing his wife to pave way for a new wife. Never. I am Igbo, marrying an Igbo. I don't care what non Nigerians and non Igbo do. I dont belong among those who delight in learning evil from oyibo and others. So as a Nigerian, an Igbo, I stand by my submission.

youngman said...

No polyandry means the woman married more than o e wife. U. Nigeria no woman has ever and will ever marry a man, only men marry women. Marriage isn't a word uttered, no it's a ceremony. No woman can afford to collect and execute lists from one or more families and do marriage rites. Who give Nigerian woman MONEY ana LIVER to do such

zinny uwalaka said...

Iya star shine easier said than done ooo. Leave matter for Mathias oooo. Marriage no be beans oooooooo. What you sow you reap.mbok the signs were there when you two were dating but the sweetness of love didn't allow you to think properly. Divorce next seconds another woman will fully pack him. Who you wan leave the man for?

Anonymous said...

I am not yet married but my believe is my husband will not cheat on me.God will give me wat I want

Anonymous said...

Well I left my ex-hubby cos he cheated. I have re-married and new hubby has cheated, I planned to leave him but on a second thought, I decided to stay and ve all my kids with him, when am done I ll divorce him and forget about marriage.

Anonymous said...

Until you women understand a man is polygamous in Nature you would never have rest of mind with your husband.Read your bible very well..Read your quoran very well..In those days our fathers used to marry plenty women and they stay and live together happily no problem.Its now that you women are forming feminism or equality nonsense that we are having high rate of divorce.Most of the women commenting on this blog are more or less a baby ,some probably less than 35.You guys needs to seek advise from our matured mothers that have gotten real life experience,not a small baby that got married at 25 and with a few years experience.Fact is that Man will always be Man.If you are not ready to share your husband with another sister ,dont go into marriage.Better thing no be for one person.To all those small small girls forming Madam Self esteem,Madam I can not take it,Madam know it all,when he happen na T.B Joshua go help u.Am out!!!

Shola said...

May God Help us all,For it is possible for a man not to cheat if one is determined!And For the women who cheat bcos they husband's did same:that is awefully wrong.

Anonymous said...

The only and sensible comment ever on this. Blog,I am very prayerful,any temptation on my hubby's way,God reveals them to me,i use my knees to mess that up,a prayerful child of God is a powerful child of God,no time for my many testimonies,when u are prayerful,u control alot,i mean a lot of things spiritually,my father in heaven protects his own

DonMayor said...

Character.. Lol

DonMayor said...

Suffering in silence. Sorry ehn

Gold patrol said...

Lol Anon 13:08 your wife is cheating on you too, the reason why she doesn't do anything about it is because she doesn't give a fuck. When a woman doesn't give a fuck that's when you should be most afraid. Good luck bruv

Anonymous said...

God bless u ma. Men have bcom so evil and are blamed for everytin yet d women stil get married to us every saturday. May God help our hypocrisy.Pls SDK, I tink we should be able to like some pple's comments when we tink they make perfect sense. Mrs Romas always does. It would also make your blog unique. Tink abt it.

Anonymous said...

Will you sell your destiny because of 5mins pleasure? No matter how sexy, appealing a guy or lady is, its not worth it! Marriage was created by God and its a covenant. People who cheat are only saying that they have no dignity and self worth. I have dignity and I know my value. I can't open my legs for any fool. My spouse is enough for me. If not, why did I get married in the first place?. The devil is attacking many marriages today because people gain more when they stay together. Stella, stop posting senseless topics like this. Use your blog to glorify God. Stop giving the devil attention by posting this trash! May God give you understanding.

Olori_1812 said...

The day i snooped on bae's phone...ah! for days na so so chest pain o and my heart will be raising very fast!
Na so i gv myself brain that come if you die now, then what will you teh ya creator?since then eh i dont even wantu know, although it is not easy but you just have to take your mind off it for peace sake!

selah

White Diamond said...

Lwkmd! Becky you no well.

I write as the spirit leads o.

No epistle today.

#WhiteDiamondOut

Becky Divine said...

Oops! Forgot to go anon?
I feel your pain dear. God is your strength

Anonymous said...

And deny urself of a life?

Carina K Jacob said...

Your hubby might be gay!

brownsugar said...

Same thing my friends husband did. He suspected she wanted to leave so he seized their daughters passport

Anonymous said...

Hi stella am new here and I njoy ur open conversations well in d aspect of y men cheat dia is no reason y men cheat dey cheat cos dey want 2 bt it is our job as women 2 love nd respect d men in our lives.snoopin is nt really d best cos u wld alway end up puttin urself in a very difficult situation so my advice if @ all u wld snoop pls snoop bt dnt confront him put it all in prayer and if u most confront him make sure u win d war nt d battle

Anonymous said...

Very unwise person. Son, you need to grow up in the real world.

Anonymous said...

I laff in all Nigerian languages.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Anonymous said...

Everybody with their different gifts biko.

AAO said...

Ask him if he Shd hear or know dat u're fucking someone in ur neighborhood hw will he feel?Jst ask him dat question.

Blackberry said...

Lol, my dear, I can't count o! Hahahahaaa

Anonymous said...

Nne me too ooooo!! Oluwa locate me abeg

Anonymous said...

DH can cheat for Africa.i just focus on my kids,went to gym for revenge body(14-10),doing well in my business,just register for M.sc. Now DH thinks I am cheating. Because,I no send his end! Hahaha.i no come world can die for man.l am living to fulfill my destiny.i saw him snooping on my phone last night,I just smiled and continue my sleep.

Designated pwessy said...

Hiv is real and the drugs ain't cheap

Miss Ferragamo said...

How would she know? Does she go on his fucking spree with him?

Asa nwa said...

Hmmmm hope it's not incurable sha

Asa nwa said...

Hmmmm

Anonymous said...

I don't know If my husband is cheating but I really don't care because I'm cheating currently. Stopped bothering about checking his phones

Anonymous said...

Atleast otedola has money, I don't mind a man who cheats so far as he's stinking rich and compensates with money , then I'm good. I can always get a side boo. But I can't stand a broke ass who thinks he can cheat and get away, divorce straight

Anonymous said...

I just dumped the twat that I was engaged to... Couldnt deal with his cheating anymore, to think that his first wife disappeared with their kids 7 years ago cos of his cheating. Still he didn't stop, I've had to deal with stuff that some married women haven't even seen. There's no point in marrying him when the writing on the wall is crystal...

If I'm faithful, why can't he be? If I'm content with eating the same gala for the rest of my life, why can't he eat my jollof rice instead of 'filetmeyon' and assorted.

I can't deal....

Married man said...

Some people have no reason being in marriage. When a man doesn't feel sorry and ashamed for sleeping with another woman then he is not fit for marriage and cannot stop cheating on his wife. When a woman sleeps with a man that is not her husband and doesn't feel remorse she is not fit for marriage. Marriage is like a wine that gets better with time that's why people remain with cheating partners. They know that it is worse outside hence they pray for their partners to change.Most marriages that crashed did not crash because of a cheating spouse, they crashed because the husband doesn't love wife or the wife does not respect the husband.

Rosie and kids said...

May God deliver you.God will never let my hubby cheat on me in Jesus name. he is covered with the blood of Jesus and any woman that looks at him lustfully shall go blind and become paralyzed.

TRIUMPHANT ZION said...

So much like what I have in mind. Welcome Jesus into your life and marriage and let him watch your back.

Anonymous said...

God will reach down from heaven and stop a man that he gave free will from cheating. I love your kind of faith sha.... Your hubby must be having a blast!

SDKprincess said...

Awwwwwwwn this is awesome

Anonymous said...

Good for you! Truth be told, the finance is why u stayed! If he had no money, u would have dumped his ass

Anonymous said...

Chop knuckle...

1nigeriangirl said...

I don't subscribe to the notion that all men cheat.

Courtship is very necessary, don't go into what you can't handle.

That being said, I'm still team snoop. And if it's marriage, i doubt I'd leave, but then I'm certain to frustrate your life.

Oh well

Anonymous said...

True

Anonymous said...

Well done jare, let him continue to suffer, na guilty 'kongi' dey worry am. You will see how he wld start paying you attention and saying shit like 'I think you don't love me anymore'. Foolish men everywhere they don't want you monitoring or disturbing their gross runs and the moment you stop doing that and start concentrating on your own happiness, that means you are now cheating as far as they are concerned. Been there done that, the whole ish brought mine back to his senses and I wasn't even cheating, I just didn't care anymore!

Noni said...

Every good and perfect gift comes from God..God won't give you more than you can handle don't forget..

doctor samba said...

About HIV being real u are right but wrong on the drugs being expensive,they are actually free...

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