Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives....

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Saturday, 10 September 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives....

Hmmmmm





NARRATIVE NUMBER 1
CHANGING LOCATION AFTER MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT?


Dear Stella, please help me publish this on your blog because I need to make a decision urgently. My head is aching from too much thinking, was thinking of meeting a counsellor but…

I am almost settling down with a guy staying at a somehow semi-urban area that is distant from where I am staying now, going to his place from where I am is like 8hrs and if you missed the first bus you are ‘on your own’, mind you no flights here; you'll have to travel to that place by road. We have done our introduction so planning on completing the marriage rites before December this year. I was having doubt about relocating and staying with him where he is but these are my fears:

My mother trained me singlehandedly and I view it like she exchanged her life for me to get higher education and currently I am helping her immensely with the present job I am doing. If I leave my job how am I likely to be able to help her financially considering that the guy I am almost settling down with is a budding business man and very stingy. I am not complaining about myself because the business can averagely sustain us but my mother and my siblings are my fears. My sibling needs my financial help now but I am trusting God for them to be independent in a short while.


My guy will never help me financially towards my family, I once asked for rent from him for my mother but he refused, maybe he doesn’t have or maybe he does, I don't know. But he did not give me any response rather he urged me to save and pay for it. I’m not disturbed because I don’t believe that one’s husband should be her cash cow. I believe in making my own money.

Seriously, he said that he can not marry a wife and she will not be staying with him. 

I somehow agreed but I am having a rethink now especially because of my mother and siblings. I have always longed for this job I am doing presently because it is helping me a lot and I started it newly and have not even saved enough to at least have something in the bank to fall back on.

I want to raise that discussion again with him if I can stay where I am presently after completing the marriage rites and continue my job and make up with weekends and holidays but I know he will not agree.
Please my people, help me with advice as I am seriously stuck. Thank you and please hide my email address.


Why exactly are you marrying this man?tats what you should be asking yourself,if the reason is more important than all this your story telling then go for it and marry him but otherwise i see a one chance situation.i am one of those people who also hates remote areas and what you described up there sounds like a nightmare.
Please discuss one time with him and search yourself.


.........................................................................................................


NARRATIVE NUMBER 2
WHEN YOUR PARTNER PUTS ON WEIGHT...

Hey Stella how are you doing? 
I hope this fits in well as a chronicle or whatever section you feel it does.
 I've been dating my girl for a while and she's a good lady like literally one of the few women out there a reasonable man would pray for. We both live in the States unlike myself she was born and raised in the States while I moved when I was a teenager. 

The problem is before we started dating, she used to be so conscious of her weight and worked out well. In fact, we even have a joint membership in a gym but all of a sudden she's let herself go and she's gained a lot of pounds, she's suddenly developed a lack luster attitude towards going to the gym. 

She has an event company and her regular day job which makes her super busy but she don't slow down with those foods either, they have to add cheese to virtually every food she orders, we both are barely home but even when we are, we order for food a lot because cooking ain't really her favorite thing. 

I try to cook as much as I can to reduce us getting food outside and stay healthy considering she spends almost the whole week at my apartment but I still make out time to workout no matter what.
Each time I try to talk about her food order, I literally ruin dinner so I just keep mute and hope she realizes.

How do I tell her to watch her weight without hurting her or making her feel some kinda way? Considering people take weight issues seriously here you don't tell a lady about her weight without getting her all emotional and stuff.

I don't wanna ever stop being attracted to her.

Who's been in this situation home or abroad and how did you handle it? 


*I dont know how to do this but perhaps if you buy those magazines discussing the issue and leave it where she will find it,it might help?or you tell her and damn the consequences cos some people have problems loosing weight so its better to help them prevent it.good luck.





127 comments:

Ibukunoluwa said...

Poster 1- *I will read comments*
Poster 2- be blunt and tell her

Bell Jacks said...

Poster1...let him go but nicely poster 2...let your feelings known that way, its half solved. I also agree with Stella somehow she! Hope it works.

Anonymous said...

This man was plain to you; he cannot marry a wife that will not stay with him. What are you going there to do. You love making "your own money"; you are not ready for marriage and even if you are, this man is not the one. The two of you will end up "wedding" but not "married".

Doppelgänger said...

Poster 1, you're joking right?
You want to enter a disaster head on?WOW.
A man is not an ATM but what's a man who can't help his partner in time of need? You have said it yourself that he doesn't help you out even when you ask. You want to leave your job to marry a man who thinks of only himself? My dear you will eat sand or come here and beg for money to buy food.
What is wrong with you young women these days? Why are you all always in a hurry? Women get married these days and are worse than they were before the marriage.
Why are you even considering this man as your last bus stop? He should even be considered for dating. So selfish and uncaring.
Do not leave you job. Whether you marry him or not is now your business. Introduction doesn't mean marriage must hold.


Poster 2 she ha's let go because you're still with her. I know a man who left his wife for the same reason recently.
Not even man can handle obesity in the woman and if you can't and she won't change then better take the bull by the horn.
She should be lucky she has you to encourage her.
Keep talking and registering your displeasure to her till she listens.
She likes food and it's not east to lose weight. Buy her dresses that are small intentionally then try to take her out asking her to put it on.

RICHBEE said...

Poster 2... You did not marry your friend cos if she is your friend you can telling her she is adding weight without you being scared of what she will say.. Friendship matters a lot in every relationship

Anonymous said...

Poster one: "My money", "his money" is not the way to start a marriage:

SUPPOSING THIS MAN LOSES HIS JOB AFTER YOU HAVE LEFT YOUR JOB AND "MARRIED"? If you are not ready to leave your family and follow this man, you are not ready for marriage!

When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

What kind of a wicked man are you getting married to poster 1?...
Imagine telling you to save and support your family...poster,if you marry this guy,the marriage will not last!...
The worst thing that would happen to any woman is to marry a stingy man while you yourself is jobless!,..
You will die of depression and HBP!,..
I would have advised you to resign and go to him if he is a nice person but if you try it,you must surely regret it!...
Don't marry a stingy church rat!...
Shine your eyes!...

Poster 2,
I call American food poison!...
Poster,you must be a broke ass for dating an Orobo!...
Why don't you dump her since she dosent want to change?or is she your Mugu?i mean your ATM?...

brown suga said...

I'll just read comments

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

*Foods...

Atheist. said...

Poster2: James is coming for you!
But i get where ure comin from, i wouldn't also want that transformation, that's why b4 i marry any lady, i'd have to see ur mother & grandmothers pictures, both b4 & after child birth.... You cannot come & full my house overnight.

Poster1: i don't perceive burning love from either ur end or ur man, weigh ur options properly, ure already complaining, didn't u consider all this b4 the intro?
Better not marry for the wrong reasons oh.

I miss GOT *winks*
Where are my GOT fans?

Becky Divine said...

1) Writing chronicles already?
My dear all i saw is the part where you said he is stingy and bluntly refused to pay your mom's house rent; without giving you any concrete reason why he can't help!

Run! Run!! Run!!!
Keep your job, i take God beg you. Tell him you've given it lots of thought and you think it'll be better for you to keep your job, as the country is very hard now. If he refuses to let you keep your job; tell him It's over! Then you move on abeg


2) Ermmm what do i even say
I really don't think there's anywhere to go around this. Just face it head on and whatever the outcome, you'll see it. Then know how to deal with it from there

Sit her down and tell her your mind. Tell her you don't like how she's been adding lots of pounds and you need her to get back to working-out like before.

Don't say it in a way she'll feel insulted or embarrassed. Be cool and gentle when telling her; her response will give you all the answers you need.

Atheist. said...

Thank you, i like that saying....
You had a wedding, but ure not married...

Doppelgänger said...

*he shouldn't be considered for dating
*your job
*has
*not every man

Cynthia Iyede said...

1. Hope you're not entering a one chance marriage. How can you marry a stingy man? You know he's stingy, yet you want to spend the rest of your life with such a man? What if he doesn't take care of his responsibilities, leaving you to train your kids alone and providing for the home, what will you do then? Hope your case won't be like yesterday's chronicle. Marriage and love should be about give and take na. Hope you won't sent your own chronicle in March, 2017. Think am well o.

2. If you love and care about her health, you should tell her.

IVORY said...

Poster 1 your marriage is scaring me already. He wont support you financially but wants you to leave touryfinancial source and move to be with him? That's grade one trouble you're about getting into. God help you.

Anonymous said...

Poster 2: People should be sincere before entering into a marital relationship. Say what you want the way you want it; with every respect. Tell her (show her the picture of what she looked like when you met her) and if she is not ready to sacrifice to stay that way, then the relationship isn't going to work. And the fact that you cannot correct her is not a character asset; period! Better to part now than to divorce.

Meanwhile, you started badly by "living together" while unmarried, that alone makes the other partner lazy and non-nonchalant.

IVORY said...

Poster 2 i think you should really have a heart to heart tall with her. Do not bring up the weighy issue,just ask whats on her mind and hwr general wellbeing because, some people tend to turn to food when they are depressed or battling an issue. Once that's ruled out,you could talk to her about keeping healthy. It's for her own good, anyhiw she takes it.

James said...

Poster 2.I can deduce that you intend to marry her. Pls Marriage is no Child 's play. If you don't love fat girls go for a girl that loves watching her weight.When it comes to marriage, always go for want and what is best for you,to avoid stories that touches....coz Marriage is a life Journey.
Tell her that she is getting fat. And that you don't like fat girls. As simple as that.

Anonymous said...

Poster one the fact that you do not expect your husband to be a cash cow doesn't mean he cannot help you out with certain financial challenges. You have decided to marry a STINGY MAN, this can be tricky because later on, he may decide not to own up to certain financial responsibilities simply because he feels you can save and handle it. Please and please think and discuss with him. Believe it or not, FINANCE is very important, extremely important in Marriage (this is not courtship)

Martins Aboy said...

@poster one;did you say he is a budding business man and very stingy??
Then since you know he is;why do you wanna erase the source of joy and livelihood of your immediate family simply because of marriage to a non-caring and stingy man??

All I can tell you is that I know of a word called "priority" and "happiness"...So if marriage is soo important to you,and you can be happy seeing your mum and sibling suffer in future;then go ahead! But if otherwise;wait for a better man..

Yes a lady shouldn't be dependent on a guy for anything;but my dear it's a different thing when your partner is stingy altogether..

Enter this marriage with your clear eye ok? And please save us of any future chronicle when your mum can't afford her rent or food with time..

Your happiness is important!! but dear;never in your life forget your roots!

Goodluck!!

@MARTINS ABOY

Andromeda O said...

Poster 1 : the handwriting is on the wall now, but you forming blind. Your man can't even help you with little change for your mom, and you are here saying you believe in making your own money.
I don't get this foolishness of women nowadays.
Love is giving; how can't your man give to you and you say you wanna spend the rest of your life with him? I seriously don't get it.
You also say he's stingy...nna ehn, I lack words.
Tomorrow, you'll start lamenting.
Are you so desperate to bear Mrs?
From what you typed up there, it doesn't even sound like you're in a loving relationship.
Guy man has already told you he can't marry someone who won't live with him. Which question are you asking again?
Abeg pity your mom who suffered for you, and keep that job; God opened a door for you but you wanna shut it.
Move to his place and regret it.

Poster 2 :keep reminding her. Truth is in time, your attraction will fade. Don't deceive yourself.
Talk to her. Perhaps there's a reason why she ain't feeling the gym anymore.

SDKprincess said...

Uhm poster 1 sit ur man down and explain to him if he gets angry and flare up bikonu leave him u don't sound like u love him like that and even if u do abeg don't give up ur family for any guy.poster 2 talk to ur babe in a very very truthful tone dont be diplomatic about it she needs to hear the truth and be emotional if she was wants.she will get over it

Anonymous said...

Hmm OK....

Godhelpus said...

Poster 1, if I must be honest with you id say you should call off the wedding. A man who cannot take care of you no matter how little or at least contribute to your happiness financially is not ready for marriage. You can have all the money in the world but him giving you something small to add to your millions will definitely gladden your heart. If you go ahead with this marriage, I bet that in a couple of months, you would write another chronicle crying and regretting. Is it fear of the unknown? Do you think you would never see another man? My dear, God has a better plan for you. I hope you understand? God help you... Poster 2, hmmmmmm.....

DonMayor said...

Guy tell the girl in your own way. Let her get angry if possible. She can't be getting fat anyhow. Tell her to exercise her mouth less.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Poster 1 - you don't know location matters a lot in life. If you stay in a local place for one year, when you come to the city you will weep. Na so my relative marry soldier go stay for one nungu. When she goes to visit lagos or abuja back then she will just be lamenting. Luckily they transfered the husband to the US on training. She used the opportunity to rent out everything in that house. When she returned she said never will she go back. Can u raise your children in such environment? It's not all about getting married but also living by certain standards.
Secondly, what man doesn't support you in time of need. Is it when he locks you inside that nungu that you think you will be able to support your family? My dear, you juSt want to suffer and drag your family along with you.
Let me ask you what stelladimokokorkus.com asked: why are you marrying this man? You know he's stingy so why are your marrying a stingy man who wants to teleport you to the bush? Na wa ooohh! !! Are you desperate?? Is your biological clock ticking? Hian!!! Okay

roselyne said...

Just here to read comments.
Books space....

Pen Duchess said...

It's chronicles of blog visitors again
My second favourite post on stella's blog.
Let's get down with this
*God, I love weekend*
Baba God, pls pick up my call, this particular call, abeg olorun mi
I know you will

Roselyne said...

Here to read comments
Books space....

Onome Talkam said...

Poster 1.....I know relationship and marriage takes a whole lot of sacrifices, but you should always keep in mind the type of person for whom you are making the sacrifice.Learn to always weigh your options.You clearly stated that your man is not the type that assists you financially and you are considering quitting your job to go spend the rest of your life with him?

I love independent women, women who don't rely on their men for every little thing but I'm also a sucker for a man who supports his woman every now and then even without her asking. Your fiance is obviously not this kind of man.Do not just quit your job like that without any solid plan in place considering the fact that you have responsibilities to cater to.

I'm going to be blunt with you; come on! your man has made it clear that he can't marry a woman that won't live with him, trying to make him change his mind will affect your marriage negative if he eventually changes his mind.

Weigh your options well though, I think marriage is better enjoyed when couples live together; makes bonding faster,issues are resolved as soon as they arise.Do you want to be in a marriage when your mind is never at ease as to what your husband is up to? Do you fancy the idea of losing connection with your husband all thanks to distance? Do you want to abandon your responsibilities to your mum who single handedly raised you and your siblings considering the fact that your fiance may not be able to or want to assist you in any form?

Think about it though,marriage takes a lot to make it work, you are having insecurities already; do not throw it to the winds.
Besides, you sound as though you are not excited about the marriage; do not joke with your happiness, you need it for a successful marriage.

Poster 2: I always clamour for friendship in a relationship, friendship to me Is the number trait every relationship must have to succeed.I'm saying this because a friend will not be scared of airing his views and feelings around his friend.

Talk to your lady already, be gentle and loving when talking to her.Acknowledge her good sides that drives you crazy while making her know why adding too much weight is not healthy.Above all, know the right time to bring up the topic, it could be quite sensitive to some women.I wish you all the best.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Poster 2 - Hmmm..... I don't know oh. Me im team healthy eating all the way. But when I see fat people I just can't. All my friends are fit. I don't make friends with overweight girls. Don't come and entice me with unhealthy food. Cos really it's a contagious habit. I no dey to dey make enmies untop matter. However, My bf recently started gaining unnecessary weight and developed pot belly. I told him point blank that this wasn't how we started oh and if he continues this way I will start admiring fine boys. So he shouldn't call me a cheat later. I'm not asking for brad Pitt or too much, juSt don't hug me and let pot belly be a stumbling block to my happiness. Him dey there dey argue say work and stress. Oya let me help you with meal plan? No answer. Infact it caused a very big fight that I've begun to see a stubborn side and I'm re-thinking. I'm not ready to marry and start cheating. If Im not attracted to you I start losing interest and thats how the curve declines. I hate when you see a young man/woman looking twice their age. My last birthday everyone I asked to guess my age guessed 18-23. Meanwhile i turned 28. Even when i look in the mirror i laugh cos honestly i look 18. Esp when i pack my natural hair. And someone will come and tell me a healthy lifestyle isn't good. Una good luck oh!! Me I don't pet weight adders. I tell you Ho-ha if you're someone close to me.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Doppelganger, I say me I'm A woman who can't handle overweight guys. Be as nice as summer, once your overweight that's it!!! Esp when it's not a health related issue. I just can't. Even my father and mum are all healthy. They jog every morning and eat right in their 60s. It's just my lifestyle. I no fit oh!! Just sit down and become balloon overnight. So that when you have heart failure or diabetes, i will start sleeping in hospital. Mscheew!

Anonymous said...

Poster 1:what can u do without ur family?my mother n siblings re important as my husband nd can't do without them.am wondering at this ur kind of man we africans live n share things with d whole family
Poster 2:pls tell her,my husband never told me hw fat I hv become bt others did n I started losing weight then one day he told me in public hw trim I was looking n I asked him why he never told me to shed weight n it made me angry so tell it as it is,period!

slim_shady said...

Did you invent another chronicle in your head? Where did you see married? Btw... always proof read b4 posting, and use punctuation.
😀You're welcome.

Anonymous said...

Poster one,did you read yesterday chronicle?pls I urge you to read it,what are you exactly marrying him for?desperate you,after a year you will start sending another chronicle on how frustrated you are with him,see your mentality if I'm dating a guy that can take care of my needs and won't assist me when needed why will I marry him,I'm not you,so not possible,please my dear I've dated for 5 years,been married for 10 years so I beg you in the name of the God of this blog,dont leave your Job for the broke ass,I hate to see women doing the job of a man in marriage and you call him stingy yet want to settle with him for the rest of yourlife,I buy upto My Wife's Cream And Pad,don't marry him and don't leave your Job

Cindy Babs said...

Poster one,you are jumping unto a lonnnng thing which you are calling marriage. You want to sacrifice your job for who??? A man that would not help you financially. Stay there and make excuses for him you hear? When you are fully married to him yo u will hear nwiii. This type of man will end up leaving you to run the home in terms of finances for him. In case you are not seeing well,go and wash your face on the bathroom. I wish you well

dook wase said...

Stella, I love your responses

Asa nwa said...

Postrr 1. Pls don't marry that man,
Poster 2, pls be blunt,tell her she's adding weight

Anonymous said...

Poster1: u seriously need a rethink before u return with a tougher chronicle. Discuss with ur man, if he wants u to resign and join him after wedding then he should set up better business for u dia or get u a job over dia(i.e if dia is any good job in the type of place u just described). If he can't do any of this for u, den u are in hot soup if u relocate. Cos u won't ve only ur family to think of den, ur needs will also be included in the things to think of. I am married and working in a df city, in short more than eight hrs from where hubby stays. I must tell u dt itz not rice and beans but we ve to work it out together knowing the time we are into(incase u don't know "THIS IS A DIFFICULT TIME") but we know it won't last forever. We will be together as soon as we can but we need to plan first, at least save enough money so d person relocating can use it to start sth reasonable. So, pls don't be quick to take an action that u will regret. Poster2: if u really love her, den correct her irrespective if her reactions. Am sure wen she is in her closet, she will rethink.

Sopiriala Pepple said...

Poster 1 are u for real?frm wat u goin tru can't u gv ur self some sense?do u want to go tru wat ur mum suffered and went tru to train u?y are u acting so ignorant and naive!someone u said does nt gv u dime for ur keep!its dat d kind of guy u want to spend d rest of ur life wit?u want ur suffer to continue?pls if u dnt hv brain,u can com and borrow my own!y are u dis clueless?abeg let d modafucker go!his he d only guy in nigeria?besides u sd u jst got d job,y dnt u jst chill,gv urslf sometime,u wld definitly meet better nice caring guys in dat ur ofice environment! Y are u in hurry?wats ur own wld neva ever pass u by!pls dnt neglect ur mum and ur siblings becos of dat stingy guy u want to enter 1 chance with I beg u!d guy is not worth it!God Wld Definitly Gv U Ur Own good man dat wld tk gd care of u and ur siblings in God's Good Time!abeg live dat 1 chance man and concentrate and face ur job!

Starjoy said...

Poster1 How will your mum and sibling survive in this buhari erra, I don't support you live him but think about it very well before going into that marriage, better still pray very hard maybe God will touch him.

salt E said...

Poster 1: pls no.im begging u don't marry him.Men are not scarce as they make us believe.A man who wants and loves u shud not be a cash cow but shud assist ur family in times of trouble.
Stop making excuses for him, do not move to a semi urban area cos jobs are hard there, one day ur husband who will be glad to help mummy and ur siblings will come, marriage is hard enough as Is is already.

Henny said...

Ozuo' they are not married yet.

Mrs. Romas said...

Poster 1, what are you doing with that guy? You believe in making your own money and men are not ATM! Please give yourself a break.
If you end up marrying a man who could not help you financially in your time of needs, suffer awaits you in that home that you planned to enter.
You people live in separate areas,and you are not ready to move to where he lives if you guys eventually end up married. Then leave nicely now, while is still in a relationship phase.

How can you even think of getting married and living separately? Anyways, that stingy man you are about to end up with will frustrate you and your family.
Women please, even if you are working and earning good money, make your men know is their responsibility to spend money and not yours.
A woman's money does not last. We women were created to be pampered and do not settle for less.

Poster 2, the reason i hate political correctness or whatever you guys call it! Why can't you tell someone that you love and care about that she is adding weight and that you do not like it.
I am one of the people that say it as it is, i don't care if you will be upset. I prefer to say it to your face than gossip about you.

Tell your lover that she's adding kilo and that you are no longer attracted to her! Tell her you love the way you met her and not the way she is now.
Why eat cheesy food.
Oh no, i made my husband stop eating cheese and all kinds of bread that white people can't do without (He now eat only goat cheese and whole brown bread once in a while)
Buy different health magazines as Stella said and leave it wherever you know she can easily see it.
A little more advice: Please try as much as possible to reduce eating out. Cook your food, know what goes into your stomach; is very important. You see the reason why i do not support/believe in women that can't cook. They will either make you die of hunger or make you eat poisonous food outside.

Loveme Jeje said...

Poster 1 your mum helped you and you are doing your best. You cannot be tied permanently to her. You have your life to live. Think again will you be happy with your man if you leave this job it will be bad when you start regretting your marriage. See if you can get a good job over there before you resign. For now don't Resign.

Poster 2 she believed she has seen the one thereby piling more weight. Tell her you watch your weight or we call off the relationship. I think her brain go reset

Robyna Fenty said...

Post 1: You shld have put all these into consideration before you agreed to marry him. This is the kind of dicusion that intending couples shld have. Tell him everything you just told us.You need to provide for your family and he obviously isn't willing too. If he says you shld quit your job and he'll take care of it. Just know that when you marry him he will stop. Why not postpone the marriage till you find a job there? From your write up,you don't sound like you love him and this obviously isn't a marriage of convenience at least not for you so why are you marrying him again?
Poster 2: Tell her straight out. Don't be rude or anything. Be honest. She might be pissed at you but she's be mostly pissed with herself. Also maybe there is an emotional factor. Something you are missing, you may find out. I am sure she loves you enough to want to keep you. And be patient with her, it may take awhile before all the weight comes off. Hope you know that if you guys get married and have kids her body may never be like it was when you first met? What happens then? Are you also concerned about her health or do you just like the idea of your woman having a banging body?

pearlXYZ said...

Poster 1: you really need to think of this well cos marriage is not about wedding or introduction. He already told u he can't do long distance marriage and you agreed, cos u think that after d wedding u can change his mind. That's a big risk u re taking. I can't ask u to leave ur job and join him cos economy is bad but u need to make sure ure both on the same page. To avoid regrets and further chronicles.

The Boss Lady said...

P1, pls dont put yourself in what you cant handle

p2, you have to look for a way to fall in love again with the gym o

Anonymous said...

They are not married

Anonymous said...

Poster 1, postpone the wedding date, time has a way of revealing a lot. With time you will see if it's worth it or not.if your mum relies on u to feed,,think about all she went thru raising u,u can't give up on her now.just give it time before u commit.
Poster two: James will advice you better cos am fat and I may be biased

grace sylvester said...

Poster 1.talk to him again and if refuses to let you stay where u are for the sake of your job then quit the relationship.

Poster2. Tell her you are not comfortable with her weight and list out the health hazards

I speak the truth said...

Poster 1-but what other advice do you need?yiur husband is stingy and doesn't want to help your family,and you want to damn your job and go live with the stingy husband that can't help?how do you intend to cope please?how do you want your mum especially to survive please?think we'll my sister..and pray!
Poster 2- Be diplomatic and tell her,you will surly help her it might be a bit difficult dou,because you guys will surly argue about it.but don't worry you guys will be fine..it's not easy to shed fat o,once she is big to reduce will be quite difficult!(prevention is better than cure)

The best amongst the cuties said...

Where in the story did u read that he is married?

Vivilicious said...

Poster 1 like Stella said, why exactly are you marrying this man. Hope its not so you can call yourself a married woman? I wonder why you will open your eyes and marry a man who has no interest in providing for you and your mother.
Poster 2 try to find out if there is any particular reason towards her sudden nonchalance about her weight, since you said she wasn't like that before. Also, if she is on birth control pills, it could also cause weight gain. Talk to her as gently as possible and make her understand that she needs to watch her weight cos its easier to control weight gain than trying to loose weight already gained.

Godiya said...

Poster 1...choi!!! Be wise pls and leave that man

Ed said...

Poster 1,please why are you marrying this man? From what yu said,i dont see any reason why yu should marry him o.... Please i beg u,dont marry bcos others r marrying n end up regretting ever getting married. The earlier yu know urself,the better for u...

nina chocomile said...

poster one what do u mean by 'your husband is not your cash cow'? why shouldn't my husband be my cash cow? why did he marry me then if he ain't ready to send on me? na wah. pls leave that man alone, he won't make u happy. I'm a practicing professional, and a business woman at the same time, still my husband pays me every month, and I mean good salary. In fact he reviews the salary as the economic situation changes. I didn't ask him to, he took up the responsibility the very moment I agreed to spend the rest of my life with him. he takes good care of my parents and he's, and doesn't wait for me to remind him of his duty as regards financial issues. he paid for my masters in the u.s and even got his office to send him on study leave for the period I was there. pls poster one, better know what you are doing oh b4 u enter half chance. A man doesn't take care of you, on top of that u want to leave the good job u have to be with him, who will now bear your responsibilities?

Chidimma said...

Poster 1 just made me angry. Why is marriage a do or die affair for women. You want to quit your well paying job abd ur only means of survival for u and ur family and move to a remote area with your struggling husband to be who is very stingy and self centered. Your type of stupidity has not yet been discovered! Tomorrow when he kicks you out and maltreats financially and psychologically, u will come here and cry and beg for money. Mtscheew.

Poster 2 tell her point blank period. Don't try and sugar coat anything but also don't be mean about it too. She might be upset at first but she will calm down and understand

Anonymous said...

Poster 1 is old and desperate. That is how they go into marriage for the wrong reasons. She obviously doesn't love the man. Foolish old cargo. She will use work as excuse to keep fucking her exes.

Pweety G said...

Poster one..read yesterday's chronicle and digest it properly. Your marriage will be like that if you dont take time. See as desperation is written all over you. You are ready to jump into marriage with a stingy man. Tomorrow you will bring another chronicle of footing all the bills in the family. I dont know why women have refused to have sense..even with the hand writing written boldly some will still refuse to read all because they want to carry 'mrs' title.

war room coconut oil said...

Poster 1, why do you hate yourself? How can you open your eyes and decide to marry a stingy man? Are you that desperatel? Please how can your partner not help you in time of need and you still call him your partner, no ,attercliffe how rich you are, there's a feeling that comes when your partner spends on you. Do you know if you marry this man you will end up paying your children's fees, buying food and one day he will ask you to pay rent then you will send a 5 page chronicle. May God help you.

P2, please if she is your friend and she loves you, she won't pick offence when you tell her, my hubby is my best friend, he yabs me when I start gaining weight and we laugh about it. Sometimes I become sad but I realise he loves me that's why he's telling me.

scarlet overkill said...

Poster 2 - pls tell her how u feel joor, she shud be glad she has som1 who cares about her health unlike me, I ws working out, eating n living healthy my thing o, 1 devil of a boifrnd came 4rm nowhere n started complainin dat I ws perfect d way I was n Ddnt need exercise nor diet. As love abi na mumu I go call am wud hv it, I foolishly blived n started eating plenty without workin out. Few months n over 5kgs after I stumbled on a chat on hs fone where he ws flaunting anoda chic 2 hs frnd. Complimenting her slim figure. Well, na der I borrow som sense run 4 my life o.

Iphie dearie said...

Poster one
Frankly,your problem is actually worse than the distance between you and your intended.
You asked for help and he unemotionally tells you to save money for it without empathy?

Then you go on to type that you didn't know whether he had money at that point or not?
That in my opinion is a red flag. You are almost husband and wife and you sound like you barely know him.

I know you didn't ask for my opinion concerning this, but I think you might need to think about committing to this guy.

Yes you want to be independent, you hate depending on anyone, nice qualities ... But You know anything can happen right? How will this man fend for you then?

How will he treat you when you are out of a job and 8hours away from everyone you know?

As much as I'm not encouraging you to depend on a man for survival,a man you intend to marry should be willing to, (underline the word willing) to sacrifice a lot to see you happy. It starts from courtship.

If you proceed without addressing these issues, this man will turn you into a bitter, jobless person... You will end up suffering that momma you cherish so much.

Marriage is beautiful, it is about love,sacrifice...commitment,generosity. It is patient. Your partner should love you,yours and everyone you love. When he doesn't have, he tells you in the most genuine way, you will even know cos you are in it together.

Sister,Don't be in a hurry....slow down and think of YOURSELF and what you need to be a happy person✌🏻️

Vivilicious said...

How many times will you post this your copy and paste?

RICHBEE said...

Kenny the ozuo numakon, ozubu, akpahabobo, alumalu, momaheniwaihiasehe.. You must be stupid for calling your generations ozuo local he goat like you

Anonymous said...

Valar morghulis!

Anonymous said...

Just hear yourself, and you're so proud to say all dis... you should be ashamed. Your mates work to assist their spouse and yours is a cash cow. You're just a big fool

Sewa Joseph said...

@doppleganger is a gee, @poster 1 why do you want to marry this selfish guy by force, he doesn't sound like a responsible person, if anything he will control your life forever. Speak to him about your worries and responsibilities to your family, it might be time to find you a man that has your best interest at heart and loves your family too, he might even tell you to stop talking to your family once you enter that bondage you are calling marriage. As doppelgänger said ... Don't get married and Bcome worse off.

Anonymous said...

Poster 1: WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU MARRYING HIM? YOU'VE SEEN THE SIGNS YET YOU WONT LISTEN. HE'S STINGY AND CONTROLLING YET COS YOU WANNA BEAR MRS, YOU ARE GOING TO ENJOY A MISERABLE MARRIAGE. I'M SORRY FOR YOU AND YES, I'M SCREAMING 😱

Poster 2: Tell her you've been patient enough with her and you love her but she can't keep letting herself go. When she starts having kids nko? Her health too. If she still won't listen then dump her ass

DOMINA said...

Poster 1, you've heard it all. A word is enough for the wise

Favourlistic said...

Poster1 pls dont marry a stingy guy to aviod stories that touches the heart especially when he can't help u financially

Poster2 Am looking for a way to add weight why some people want to loss weight abeg who knw what to take ad get fat am too slim

Anonymous said...

This long over zealous epistle shouldn't be about you madam. You claim your husband let's you handle all financial spending but in your bid to rub in your idle marriage, you failed to see where she said her man is stingy and refused to help when she needed his help to sort her mum out.
Poster 1, never give up your financial independent to marry a stingy man. I am sure there has been enough chronicles here about stingy men.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Stop giving people power to control your smile, your worth, and your attitude*

Favourlistic said...

Poster1 pls dont marry a stingy guy to aviod stories that touches the heart especially when he can't help u financially

Poster2 Am looking for a way to add weight why some people want to loss weight abeg who knw what to take ad get fat am too slim

Spicy April said...

Poster1. Why do you want to get stuck with such a stingy man wbho has no feelings for your family? If any thing happens in that remote place, who do you run to???
Poster2. Be blunt about it.

Anonymous said...

Anon you are the bigger fool,idiot did she ask you to marry a suffer head man?yes if the man doesn't want her assistance,she should not enjoy herself becos dem born her born suffer?Jealousy destroy you there,owute sapugi intestine,anu bi na ofia.Nina enjoy your home nwanne nothing do you,make God continually bless all the husband that behaves like yours and may the anon marry a spouse like poster 1,stingy Fiance.

Anonymous said...

Madam Igo, you don't use your ID again but I dey hail ooo

Anonymous said...

Queen of the bus, hitting the nail on the head this time

Anonymous said...

Chikito or whatever you call yourself, you are one conceited brat. Your tone is horrible, sanctimonious and downright condescending. I don't blame you, it's the internet that lets everyone be anonymous. Loser.

DonMayor said...

See ya life.

Anonymous said...

Poster one, in this time of recession you wan throway ya job? Oriegwu! Oyo is thy name, as you already sabi say you wan go isolate yourself for akagum house.

Anonymous said...

Tell her in love. If she vex ignore her, hug her, peck her and tell her you love her, that you want your relationship to last a lifetime and you want her for the long haul, so you wouldn't want her to do anything to jeopardize that. Tell her if she needs your help you are ready to support her however she deems fit. That if you didn't love her, you would ignore her. Then buy her an I love you gift. Slay it mehn... That is if you think she is worth it.

Rosie and kids said...

Poster 1 Don't let desperation let you forget your mother,for crying out loud she single handedly trained you and you want to move to a remote village and abound your life? please wake up from this dream and pray against such dreams in future. Why do some young girls of these days like suffer head like this. I am not saying you should marry because of money but leaving your life behind for a man who will not stand by you in time of need is stupidity of the highest order. Call off the wedding and wait on God he will send a better person.
Poster two I have no advise as I am also battling weight. I want to go back to my size 6/8 presently size 10.

Anonymous said...

Living together is never the best, hopefully you don't break up, but if you do it would feel like a divorce. Plus it violates Gods' standards, if you care about God.

Anonymous said...

Guy! You sure whether your girl don take in? That is, is she preggers?

stunning slim shady said...

Poster one: give ur sef brain n runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Two cannot be walk together except they are in agreement n from all dat u wrote up dere,u guys aint in sync... A broken r/ship is beta than a broken marriage. ..

Anonymous said...

Please bvs I want to ask a question o.I just did my trad today and the white wedding is early next year.Am I to go to my father's house or husbands house.Am an igbo girl my whole family is expecting me to start staying with my husband but I don't think it's right

Anonymous said...

Anon 17:56 you sound like a jealous man, who is stingy and will look for a woman who has money or a job that can take care of your family, because your type depends on women. Learn from Nina's husband who is a a real man. She works and has a business, but he still provides for her and takes up his responsibilities. He is naturally generous because there are rich men who are stingy. Learn from him.

Anonymous said...

Anony 17:56 she is kind of right. A man that is spending his money on his family. Is spending it somewhere else. Let the money stay inside the home

Anonymous said...

Chikito you sound so self obsessed and annoying

Anonymous said...

Anon 20.04,you just did Trad?pleas carry your ngwo ngwo to your husbands house and stop asking questions, has he not paid your bride price,the day he paid your bride price he became your husband,very scriptural,if you don't think is right allow him mingle with us tomorrow. Thanks

Anonymous said...

Loll everyone was guessing 18-23 to keep you happy. Dem know wetin go sweet your belle.

Did you invite people from he streets ?

Abeg face front jare.

Anonymous said...

I like your response
ojare.dump her if she won't bulge

Stanley Nwanze said...

Poster 1: Don't ever in ur life leave ur family and job to go join that stingy man, u will so suffer eh. If he loves u he will consider u and come out of the remote area he is. If you close up ur relationship with him u won't die, a beta man will come...

Poster 2: Tell her and damn the consequences. Instead change ur character 2wards her, when she sees u have changed she will do everytin possible to make u happy... #Alinko

Andromeda O said...

As in eh.
I'm re watching the series again from season 1 and loving it!
I got it bad got GOT.
Orange is the new black, what's taking so long fit season 5? Choi.
Back to GOT, winter is indeed coming!

Andromeda O said...

*for

Anonymous said...

gud day stella keep up d good work pls l have astory i will like to share pls how do i go about it thanks.

Qurenth said...

All I saw was 'resign from job'

In this recession?

When people are losing jobs, right, left and center?

And for a stingy, self centered guy?

Kai......
Your desperation levels might be sky high!! The 'Mrs' title must mean the world to you...

Just know that if you were a real life friend , you'd be receiving some brain resetting slaps from me right now!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

If you did trad wedding and not just intro, aka your bride price has been paid to your family, you are free to go to your husband's house. But I understand how you feel. If your family will still have you, then stay with them till the Church wedding. After all you will soon leave them for life. Besides, it might make your wedding night interesting, then you will send us your wedding night brouhaha, lol.

Anonymous said...

That is living together before marriage is what I am referring to.

Anonymous said...

Why are you being so abusive to poster one 16:47? Are you speaking from experience, or who has hurt you so bad? Have you eaten today? She only asked for advise.

Vivilicious said...

Her email is below 👇

linda ikebata said...

Poster 1 I would rather wish u reach an agreement with him and make him understand u r leaving ur job because of him and also make him see the need why u should take care of ur mum and siblings. So make him promise to always assist with some amount every month till u get another job or my dear stick to ur job and wait for ur own man. No carry ur mama play ooh.

Anonymous said...

Lmao! Love these days na with sense. Thank God say last last, you dey smart.

Anonymous said...

Iphie is right. Even as they abuse gwegs on this blog, which is very uncalled for, but I understand as a societal belief that is a societal ill, I see nothing wrong in being single and successful, than married and a failure. If you won't think of yourself, think of your family. Just be patient and look up to God for the right man.

Anonymous said...

Fabourlistic chop fast-food, chocolate, butter and pastries and drink plenty of soda.

Anonymous said...

For poster 2...

First time commenting here because of you, usually just read.

Download and join the App "freeletics"

Average of 30mins workout, 3-4 days in a week.

I lost 9kg / 19.8 pounds during 3months and that's because I still eat a lot.

It's going to set you back $30 dollars for 15 weeks subs.

Good luck and thank me later.

Anonymous said...

Poster 1 go down on your kneels and appreciate bvs...I wish I had this advise 5years ago before getting into the marriage I am in now.This is my story but the only difference is that my parents are pensioners so they earn enough to afford the basics.I also left my job to stay with my stingy husband who was doing his residency in a state 8hours away from our home state.In just a month I was told how to use soap when bathing so that it will last,how to add oil in soup...I took in after 8months and I wore the clothes I came with because he didn't buy me maternity clothes.at a point I use veil to cover my tummy bcos the top became short bcos of my tummy, I got to a point I stopped going to church because all the clothes couldn't size me again. When I couldn't take it anymore I told my mum and she started sending at least 5k to my account every month..at 7months pregnancy I told him I will go home to go and deliver, at first he refused but along the line he let me go.kai...I suffered.

Anonymous said...

There was a time I spent 3days drinking pap and water becos Horseband put all his money in treasury bills ,imagine you have a pregnant wife to feed,no food in your house and the best you can do is to do treasury bills...sha,salary was paid after my starvation and he bought food.I stayed two months before I gave birth.my mum bought maternity clothes and gave me all I needed.I stayed till after six months and went back to my home.this time food is provided but clothes ,making hair is a luxury.I remember we came for his brothers wedding and I asked for money to make my hair,pay my ashoebi from the tailor,buy diaper and baby food finish,horse and gave me 6k...my mum gave money so I used it.did I mention that I use baby oil or Vaseline because he doesn't give me a kobo for my maintainance,i am naturally dark and the baby oil and Vaseline made me dirty black...I carry hair without for more than six months without fixing or plaiting kai even retouch ing ...bvs

Anonymous said...

There was a time I spent 3days drinking pap and water becos Horseband put all his money in treasury bills ,imagine you have a pregnant wife to feed,no food in your house and the best you can do is to do treasury bills...sha,salary was paid after my starvation and he bought food.I stayed two months before I gave birth.my mum bought maternity clothes and gave me all I needed.I stayed till after six months and went back to my home.this time food is provided but clothes ,making hair is a luxury.I remember we came for his brothers wedding and I asked for money to make my hair,pay my ashoebi from the tailor,buy diaper and baby food finish,horse and gave me 6k...my mum gave money so I used it.did I mention that I use baby oil or Vaseline because he doesn't give me a kobo for my maintainance,i am naturally dark and the baby oil and Vaseline made me dirty black...I carry hair without for more than six months without fixing or plaiting kai even retouch ing ...bvs

Anonymous said...

There was a time I spent 3days drinking pap and water becos Horseband put all his money in treasury bills ,imagine you have a pregnant wife to feed,no food in your house and the best you can do is to do treasury bills...sha,salary was paid after my starvation and he bought food.I stayed two months before I gave birth.my mum bought maternity clothes and gave me all I needed.I stayed till after six months and went back to my home.this time food is provided but clothes ,making hair is a luxury.I remember we came for his brothers wedding and I asked for money to make my hair,pay my ashoebi from the tailor,buy diaper and baby food finish,horse and gave me 6k...my mum gave money so I used it.did I mention that I use baby oil or Vaseline because he doesn't give me a kobo for my maintainance,i am naturally dark and the baby oil and Vaseline made me dirty black...I carry hair without for more than six months without fixing or plaiting kai even retouch ing ...bvs

Anonymous said...

Oops advice from 22:37 to 20:04.

Cutie said...

Anon 20:04. Am Igbo too. In my tradition, after trad the woman will stay in her husband's house for 4 days and afterwards return to her father's house. So don't know about ur tradition cos I know it differs.

Anonymous said...

20:04 if you did trad wedding and not just intro, aka your bride price has been paid to your family, you are free to go to your husband's house. But I understand how you feel. If your family will still have you, then stay with them till the Church wedding. After all you will soon leave them for life. Besides, it might make your wedding night interesting, then you will send us your wedding night brouhaha, lol.

Anonymous said...

Very obnoxious condescending fool chikito. U r so annoying. I don't make friends wiv fat people my ass. Who d hell are u? Bloody irritant. N no, I'm not fat. Even if I was I'd say it boldly. Just can't stand ur bloody comments ere. Idiot

Anonymous said...

Chikito Stfup. No one needs to read ur bloody comments here. Just fuck off and lets read from intelligent people.

rookies said...

Anon 20:52 pls go to your fathers house u are not fully married. The next thing u will get pregnant n that's it, no more wedding. Why didn't u do court at least? Don't take the risk pls else u will be the one begging for the wedding after some years..

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Anonymous it's your mother that's loser for birthing a generational failure like you. Even if I invited people from the streets, that's my problem not yours 😂😂😂 I'm sure you're sitting at home competing on weight and size with your couch. Good luck!! 🍸

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Anon 17:56- loser alert!!

Anonymous said...

Bye bye, go to your husband's house. You are a married, any other thing na ceremony.

Anonymous said...

Living with a man isn't the problem with God,premarital sex is the problem.if you can live with a man without sex then good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

e.we had a fight and he cursed me saying that is how you will struggle in this life,you will not get what you want,yor junior will be ahead of you,you will not get what you want...my dear bvs I cried my eyes out and prayed my heart out.within a year my aunt called me that the state is employing but it's for junior staff,I said Anty even if it is level 0 provided I will get at little money to buy something I want it.at that time my baby was 10months,his father doesn't know children wear clothes,we look pitiable walai.a week after my aunts called my mum went and submitted my CV at the state office bcos I was not in my home state.so when my mum gave the man incharge the man said they are only employing diploma holders that they are not yet employing degree holders,before he could finish a man who is employing said I have vacancy for a graduate in my office send her to me.

Anonymous said...

That was how I got the job and called horseband excitedly telling him I have gotten a job,horse band no that he will not do marriage like that ,and said I should not accept the job.ha...I sat down and look at my life this is a man that calls me a liability and that I am just like a house girl work and I can't provide anything that I will be fed like a house girl.cream I no get,to make my hair he doesn't give,perfume is a luxury, baby needs he will frown before given...mtspewwwww...this man earns 295kat that time.I use stove to cook bcos he said gas is expensive and kero is cheaper. Na so I said me oooo I will accept it,he said I shouldn't try that in fact I should between the marriage and the job...he said to to go and accept the job you don't have so better stay...this is someone that has finished his program and will be returning to the state I got the job in

Anonymous said...

Actually it's your mother that failed her generation. She 'raised' you and look how foolish you turned out. I'm all for self love but you are one myopic, haughty, silly twat and the sooner you put your nasty obnoxious self in check, the better for you. Deluded goat

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

You are wise now? Wasting your time insulting people commenting their hearts out on a forum 😂😂 when your mates are making money with their time. I would spare you because I went to church and I saw a rat under the pews that looks like you. What's to exchange word's with someone that's under my feet? Devil's first daughter!!! Walking witchcraft

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

😂😂😂😂 Anon 00:13- if you don't want to read my comment you skip it. Why are majority of you so miserable on the blog?

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Where's the concluding part of this story?

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