Please stay off this post if all you can do is complain..Nobody forced you in here,There are people enjoying and learning from this....
One of the gists here had Madam almost biting off DH's ear in the LR..lol
I found out you now have a new series called Labour room drama so i just thought I should share my experience with my beloved aunt last year. She is the last of my mum's siblings, very young (in her early thirties, am in my twenties) so we roll very well.
I am very close to her, when I entered uni, she was there to tell me the do's and don'ts so I like her very well cos we "soji 'wella. We rock our shorts, hang out and people even thought am her direct sibling (only very few knew she was actually an aunt). She practically taught me all the 'kuru kere" things I know.
She later got married to this guy that worships her, licks the ground on which she walks on. this couple wan use their lovey dovey blues take "sama"me ooo in that house. The guy loves her to stupor I swear, pampers her like an egg. She got preggy after some time sha ( why wouldn't she? when they wan use love kii themselves).
Fast forward to the delivery day, we were just gisting and chilling over garden eggs and groundnut paste (she no dey play with this combo). At some point, she said she was feeling some pains so we called her hubby, that one drove home in a twinkle of an eye. Called my mom and she said we should tarry a while (that we shouldn't run to the hospital since the contractions aint frequent). For where? Her hubby no gree ooo. I quickly ran upstairs to pick the already packed bag,lol. Na so first pregnancy dey be nah.
We got to the hospital and she was examined ( all this centimeters talk) so she was told to be climbing up and down the hospital stairs. Trust the hubby nah, he joined in climbing upandan, I just dey dey look them with side eyes, lol ( una dey do love for hospital kwa?, house own neva do una?).
They later called her again and re-examined her and she was now good to go. She requested that her hubby and I be allowed in the labour room and they obliged. Omo eeh, no be small something ooo, women dey see things ooo. Choi, na so, I come dey ask myself "nne, na dis kain thing you go see"? Her hubby was at her head side planting kisses on her forehead while urging her to push.
She kept on pushing to no avail (trust naija nurses, "madam, push this thing nah or you wan kill your baby? Abi we dey dere wen una dey do the thing em dey sweet you?
It continued like that, the hubby left forehead he was kissing and made to kiss on the cheeks with the nurses shouting pushhhhhh. Na so she use her last strength to push and she bit her husband's ears in the process, the baby came out and she just passed out literally ( all of this at same time).
They took the baby to clean up, the hubby to dress his ear wound,lol all in the same hospital. She woke up after a while and was wheeled to the private room. Her hubby brought the baby to her. On noticing the hubby's ears, she asked him what happened to him. He codedly told her he was involved in a little accident but he is fine. One of the nurses then said its a lie madam, na you bite am when you were pushing"
She burst into tears, begging the husband to forgive her buh he told her he understands ( he saw it all). We went home after two days and they continued their love matter though she doesn't like that part of the delivery process mentioned, lol. I introduced her to my favourite blog, SDK. Hope she doesn't code I sent this. Long live SDK. Long live all sdkers, una rock big time
LMAO...Nigerian Nurses and their ITK..SMH
*Side eyes at any Nurse on this blog*
On this friday I was making up getting ready for work doing my makeup, getting dressed and still wondering how my bosses will react to the Henna I did somedays before.
9am, I stood up from the bed and felt something slimmy hian!
I checked my underwear and it was the mucus plug.I've always believed I won't go to the hospital if I didn't feel any pain(they always made it sound easy like that). I called my Husband to tell him anyway but he was in his Ican class but couldn't make out what I was saying because of bad network,he kept calling back same thing.
Pain started almost immediately but gradually, as a first timer I didn't understand all that calculating contractions.I decided to pick my car key and head off Ha! Where's my key?Thinking, but I took my friend who was in labour to the hospital with this same car the previous day devil why naa? I stepped out of the house and got a bike.
I first made a stop to even gist with a friend of mine and she says you are in pains abeg wait let me call my doctor Neighbour , Dr came inserted his hand and says madam you are 2cm already you won't leave here till oga comes.They called him and it finally went oga did a distance of 30 minutes in 10 minutes.At the hospital,the first thing the female Dr on duty said was
''madam with all this your painting nobody will tell you when it will rub off.Please go to the labour room''
hubby behind me dragging my box( as a first timer I packed the BIGGEST box since 6months and kept in his boot).
we were there water didn't break, my mum kept calling because she's been having numerous bad dreams about my pregnancy.
At midnight, hubby was trying to sleep since he came directly from class what did I hear, ''Oga get up oo did I impregnate your wife for you?''
(Ehn kwa! Private hospital)at this time different Dr's had inserted all 5's in my vj boy was it painful and using their instrument to listen to baby's heartbeat all the time.
I learnt not to use my strength to scream so I kept breathing in and out and of course my mouth went out of breathe I kept drinking water, I couldn't pee or poo out but I was pressed so they used a small white pipe ,inserted a hot fluid in to enable me pee and poo.I pooed there,hubby cleaned(God bless his kind heart),I spent 23 hours there then I started vomiting I was still 7 cm by then the nurse had popped my sac and the place was bloody.
I told the nurse I'd start pushing because I couldn't bear the pain anymore,the nurse warned me to stop trying to push or I'd tear my cervix(I remember saying let it tear naa like I understood the aftermath of a torn cervix).My mum kept calling and assuring me she was praying, the nurse started praying hian!
Madam why naa is anything wrong? She said that all the other nurses have gone to attend to an emergency leaving her n hubby in the room alone and I still have a long way to go by her calculation (that I had abt 7 hrs to go)cos I'm not dilating well or fast. As she was talking my mum walked in and started praying round the labour room (suprisingly they let her) I heard her saying these last minutes lord don't let the Devil win this battle.
I remember screaming ''baby push my hand to the back, roll it, twist it, pls rub my back, Drag my hand, pull it,my ribs, my legs''.
The nurse looked away for a second and I screamed I want to Poooooo(mum was still praying in a low tone she didn't come near me).
The nurse turned and said madam hold on I'm setting up you are not ready.Next, I'm pushing,
Nurse: Madam nobody asked you to push.
Me: Push 1, Push2, Push3 she was just getting her scissors ready baby popped out into his father's Hands all my makeup was gone. All I heard the nurse say was thank you sir, you were quite brave.She turned to my mum and said thank you for your prayers.Labour is painful but I wish for every woman to experience it whether Cs or natural Delivery.
God bless us all.
LOL..God bless your mum and hubby.the poo you people poo is it normal poo or the babys poo?lol