Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Labour Room Drama 13 And 14

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Saturday, 10 September 2016

Labour Room Drama 13 And 14

Please stay off this post if all you can do is complain..Nobody forced you in here,There are people enjoying and learning from this....

One of the gists here had Madam almost biting off DH's ear in the LR..lol



LRD 13


Hi Stells,
 I found out you now have a new series called Labour room drama so i just thought I should share my experience with my beloved aunt last year. She is the last of my mum's siblings, very young (in her early thirties, am in my twenties) so we roll very well.

 I am very close to her, when I entered uni, she was there to tell me the do's and don'ts so I like her very well cos we "soji 'wella. We rock our shorts, hang out and people even thought am her direct sibling (only very few knew she was actually an aunt). She practically taught me all the 'kuru kere" things I know.


She later got married to this guy that worships her, licks the ground on which she walks on. this couple wan use their lovey dovey blues take "sama"me ooo in that house. The guy loves her to stupor I swear, pampers her like an egg. She got preggy after some time sha ( why wouldn't she? when they wan use love kii themselves).

Fast forward to the delivery day, we were just gisting and chilling over garden eggs and groundnut paste (she no dey play with this combo). At some point, she said she was feeling some pains so we called her hubby, that one drove home in a twinkle of an eye. Called my mom and she said we should tarry a while (that we shouldn't run to the hospital since the contractions aint frequent). For where? Her hubby no gree ooo. I quickly ran upstairs to pick the already packed bag,lol. Na so first pregnancy dey be nah.


We got to the hospital and she was examined ( all this centimeters talk) so she was told to be climbing up and down the hospital stairs. Trust the hubby nah, he joined in climbing upandan, I just dey dey look them with side eyes, lol ( una dey do love for hospital kwa?, house own neva do una?).

They later called her again and re-examined her and she was now good to go. She requested that her hubby and I be allowed in the labour room and they obliged. Omo eeh, no be small something ooo, women dey see things ooo. Choi, na so, I come dey ask myself "nne, na dis kain thing you go see"? Her hubby was at her head side planting kisses on her forehead while urging her to push. 

She kept on pushing to no avail (trust naija nurses, "madam, push this thing nah or you wan kill your baby? Abi we dey dere wen una dey do the thing em dey sweet you?  

It continued like that, the hubby left forehead he was kissing and made to kiss on the cheeks with the nurses shouting pushhhhhh. Na so she use her last strength to push and she bit her husband's ears in the process, the baby came out and she just passed out literally ( all of this at same time). 

They took the baby to clean up, the hubby to dress his ear wound,lol all in the same hospital. She woke up after a while and was wheeled to the private room. Her hubby brought the baby to her. On noticing the hubby's ears, she asked him what happened to him.  He codedly told her he was involved in a little accident but he is fine. One of the nurses then said its a lie madam, na you bite am when you were pushing" 

She burst into tears, begging the husband to forgive her buh he told her he understands ( he saw it all). We went home after two days and they continued their love matter though she doesn't like that part of the delivery process mentioned, lol. I introduced her to my favourite blog, SDK. Hope she doesn't code I sent this. Long live SDK. Long live all sdkers, una rock big time


LMAO...Nigerian Nurses and their ITK..SMH
*Side eyes at any Nurse on this blog*


...........................................................................................................


LRD 14

On this friday I was making up getting ready for work  doing my makeup, getting dressed and still wondering how my bosses will react to the Henna I did somedays before.

 9am, I stood up from the bed and felt something slimmy hian!

 I checked my underwear and it was the mucus plug.I've always believed I won't go to the hospital if I didn't feel any pain(they always made it sound easy like that). I called my Husband to tell him anyway but he was in his Ican class but couldn't make out what I was saying because of bad network,he kept calling back same thing.

Pain started almost immediately but gradually, as a first timer I didn't understand all that calculating contractions.I decided to pick my car key and head off Ha! Where's my key?Thinking, but I took my friend who was in labour to the hospital with this same car the previous day devil why naa? I stepped out of the house and got a bike.

I first made a stop to even gist with a friend of mine and she says you are in pains abeg wait let me call my doctor Neighbour , Dr came inserted his hand and says madam you are 2cm already you won't leave here till oga comes.They called him and it finally went‎ oga did a distance of 30 minutes in 10 minutes.At the hospital,the first thing the female Dr on duty said was 

''madam with all this your painting nobody will tell you when it will rub off.Please go to the labour room'' 

hubby behind me dragging my box( as a first timer I packed the BIGGEST box since 6months and kept in his boot).

we were there water didn't break, my mum kept calling because she's been having numerous bad dreams about my pregnancy.

At midnight, hubby was trying to sleep since he came directly from class what did I hear, ''Oga get up oo did I impregnate your wife for you?''

 (Ehn kwa! Private hospital)at this time different Dr's had inserted all 5's in my vj boy was it painful and using their instrument to listen to baby's heartbeat all the time.

I learnt not to use my strength to scream so I kept breathing in and out and of course my mouth went out of breathe I kept drinking water, I couldn't pee or poo out but I was pressed so they used a small white pipe ,inserted a hot fluid in to enable me pee and poo.I pooed there,hubby cleaned(God bless his kind heart),I spent 23 hours there then I started vomiting I was still 7 cm by then the nurse had popped my sac and the place was bloody.

 I told the nurse I'd start pushing because I couldn't bear the pain anymore,the nurse warned me to stop trying to push or I'd tear my cervix(I remember saying let it tear naa like I understood the aftermath of a torn cervix).My mum kept calling and assuring me she was praying, the nurse started praying hian! 

Madam why naa is anything wrong? She said that all the other nurses have gone to attend to an emergency leaving her n hubby in the room alone and I still have a long way  to go by her calculation (that I had abt 7 hrs to go)cos I'm not dilating well or fast. As she was talking my mum walked in and started praying round the labour room (suprisingly they let her) I heard her saying these last minutes lord don't let the Devil win this battle.

I remember screaming ''baby push my hand to the back, roll it, twist it, pls rub my back, Drag my hand, pull it,my ribs, my legs''. 

The nurse looked away for a second and I screamed I want to Poooooo(mum was still praying in a low tone she didn't come near me).
The nurse turned and said madam hold on I'm setting up you are not ready.Next, I'm pushing,

Nurse: Madam nobody asked you to push.

Me: Push 1, Push2, Push3 she was just getting her scissors ready baby popped out into his father's Hands all my makeup was gone. All I heard the nurse say was thank you sir, you were quite brave.She turned to my mum and said thank you for your prayers.Labour is painful but I wish for every woman to experience it whether Cs or natural Delivery.
God bless us all.

LOL..God bless your mum and hubby.the poo you people poo is it normal poo or the babys poo?lol


67 comments:

Asa nwa said...

Can't wait to experience this too.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

But why do the doctors like inserting their hands inside the punani?
Me I won't allow anyone insert their fingers inside of me repeatedly.

The doctor that's going to attend to me 'gon learn
I will even tell him not to look at my coochie toomuch.

Anonymous said...

Lol, funny stories.
Biko where is SnM ooo??

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

God bless all mothers

Anonymous said...

My own delivery was uneventful, that's why I won't bother sending, I saw 'show' in the bathroom when bathing, I hurried up, packed bags applied makeup, drove myself to d clinic, no pain, as soon as I stepped outta d car water broke, security alerted nurses who carried my bag u up to d ward, d doc checked me, lo n behold, dilation full, I pushed trice n baby popped out, I just asked 'is that all'? Dey all laughed n congratulated me, I just picked up phone n called my husband that I've given birth, he screamed 'just like that'? Hahahahaa

Anonymous said...

Two days later we were discharged, my boy is 3yrs now I'm expecting d second one, I hope it will be the same painless experience.

Sexy Ebony said...

Am sure is baby poo,nice labour room gist,I thank God it all end in place.

Sexy Ebony said...

Thank God it all end in praise.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Hahahahaha...
See Stella's question...I think it's an adult poo...
Kwakwakwakwa...
Choi!...
God knows I'm too fragile for this...honestly,with all these stories CS is the best!...

ngo ibeanusi said...

Poo everywhere

The best amongst the cuties said...

Talking about the way Nigerian doctors and nurses talk to their patients esp in the labour room... I can so relate! I don't know what spirit rules them. And to think u will be in pains when they will be vomiting rubbish o.

Tush baby said...

All these makes me look forward to my own preggy

brown suga said...

Wow
I was just playing the second story in my head
Interesting

tracy James said...

Lol

reddiamond_event_services_PH_offers 30% discount from now till Dec.whatsapp_07069212680,09056770088 said...

Lovely stories

mamalette said...

Stella,re u still calling it pooh? It is called " hot shit" it preceeds the arrival of the baby after which u will now get yourself. I earlier said my mate dash d nurses " hot shit" when she had all her four jids. I salute nurses and those health assistants.

Anonymous said...

congrats to you ND many more children, my question goes how a lady make a man love, adores ND even worship d ground she walks on. how I need to know.... miss hottie

Mao Akuh said...

Na God

Iphie dearie said...

I love this segment so much❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lmao... Since Oga was on a kissing spree, he collected one bite for the road.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I still don't understand why nurses make comments like "madam, you still dey do shakara, bodi go tell you soon" Are they supposed to threaten you or reassure you? Hehehe.

I think some women(expecially older ones) viewed labour like something only the strong in looks go through. If you look slim and frail they pity you. They don't discuss it,no tips, just make sure you don't scream. Every other thing,wait for your turn.

Thankfully, I have not encountered harsh nurses apart from one that had this hoarse, hard voice (naturally I guess) I told to leave that she was adding to my problems during my first deliveryπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
She wasn't mean to me oh,but her voice was intensifying the pain. My sister just fell down laughing, I think I laughed too, before the pains hit me.....harder!
Nurse wherever you are, thanks for trying to pet me.... I think my baby and my uterus didn't like that voiceπŸ˜€

Robyna Fenty said...

Why do Nigerian nurses always use that "when it was sweeting you, you didnt know" line or some equivalent? Someone is in pain and yes we know it's nothing cos you see it all the time but will you die if you show a little empathy?

Chidinma Gift said...

Hmmm naija nurses i hail una ooo

Beside Stella wetin you and pooh dey do since? Lol

SDKprincess said...

Awwwwwwwn T so lovely to read this stories doesn't make me scared tho pray God makes it easy for every woman.Amen

Robyna Fenty said...

You can't make him tbh. If he loves you, he loves you. It's him not you.

Maureen Ekeh said...

Hahahahahahaha wonderful stories see me laughing in the room like there is something else.God bless the posters .

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Nice one

Ehi Human hairs and handmade wigs London said...

Thank God for safe delivery. There is more drama when it comes to virginal birth, unless of course if it's an emergency CS.

Sensa Greene said...

Stella can ask question. Baby poo ko, meconium ni looooooool.

poster 1 i had a good laugh.

poster 2 God bless your mother and husband. I will beg my friend to send her LRD for her 3rd child, she gave birth to her baby inside the car of the hospital parking Lot, They had to put her on the hospital bed with nurse holding the baby whilst they strolled her in to cut the cord.

Sensa Greene said...

@chiexotic chi exotic Doctors insert their fingers to know how far the cervix has dilated. if you don't want it then opt for elective CS or like in my case, my husband insisted on only one doctor (female) and she attended to me from ANC to Delivery and throughout she inserted 5times Lol

Mystique said...

Hahahaha.
I am laughing so hard at this.πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Lol @ Chi Exotic hehehehe

Star said...

When they time comes, you won't even know when you will be begging them to check how many centimeters dilated you are..

MADAM GAGOOL said...

Lol I used to think that's what I'd do but heard that u'd even beg the doctor to enter inside and go and bring the baby out. You won't care about anyone looking at ur coochie at that time.

Anonymous said...

Most hospitals have unprofessional nurses, in d states, nobody dare spew profane words.

Anonymous said...

You probably had a loose punnani.

Anonymous said...

Wooooow!!! Praise God!! I tap into your supernatural blessing in Jesus Name! Amen!

Adisa Akomolede said...

Dont worry you are the one datll beg the Doctor to do it when the labour pain starts

The best amongst the cuties said...

Lucky you! I often wonder why such experiences don't happen with me. My eyes dey usually see 'pepper.' 😩😩

Starjoy said...

Nice delivery stories, bless you lord for this once and more to come.

Cynthia said...

Lolzzz funny chai may God help us o

Cynthia said...

Lolzzz funny chai may God help us o

Ehi Human hairs and handmade wigs London said...

Lol don't worry, when the time comes you will be the one opening the coochie for them to bring baby out. The finger part is painful but equally important. Pray that you don't get a midwife with fat fingers.

Ehi Human hairs and handmade wigs London said...

Very lucky woman.

Sonia said...

See me laughing like Okon.

God bless all mothers. It's not easy jor.

Anonymous said...

That is the only way to check how dilated you are. By dilation I mean how much the cervix (pathway for the baby to come out) has opened for the baby to be born. It can be very painful

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

Yaaasss!
I will settle for a female doctor.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

Oh it's important? Ok
I will just Netflix and chill.

Iphie dearie said...

Wow!

Anonymous said...

Lol @ midwife with fat fingers

Edo finest said...

Wowwwww!Oh,i wish.

Mosi Jubelo said...

Everyone poo,
I didn't poo, nurses were even over nice and I delivered at general hospital kubwa. Nawa o.
Only those antenatal nurses were always doing like akamu, mschew. But if you respect yourself and do what you're supposed to do, no nurse will shout at you. Lemme even send in my own.

Mosi Jubelo said...

Yimu,
They'll have to check how dilated you are to know when to begin to push.

Mosi Jubelo said...

Amen

Mosi Jubelo said...

It's not loose punani, probably she was very active during pregnancy. I didn't have any tear and I even pushed once

alausa temilade said...

Don't worry when it's time, u wud be the one begging them to put their hand in ur vjay

Anonymous said...

Me wan know too.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#We all get stressed but don't let your stress overtake you to the point where you disconnect from people or become mean to those around you*

Anonymous said...

Na wa o
What kind of hospital do you went to that everyone into the delivery room to the extend of taking delivery

That so unprofession

Anonymous said...

Chi u?hands don enter there plenty already na,u won't even feel tipper.

Amazing mom said...

Hmmmm, didn't poo o, but mehn the pushing was nothing compared to the stitching. Nobody has said anything about the placenta pushing.

zamfy said...

But they get paid for their services na, so I'm unable to fathom dis their snide remarks. Maybe it's all those kukere hospitals sha.

Iris said...

Anon 18:58

' ...... Did you WENT to?

Chai..that your English is beyond professional..smh

Anon said...

I wonder what kind of nurses those are

I gave birth to all my 4 kids at UCH ibadan ..... Pj had those fears since I came from the East and grew up with numerous stories of terrible nurses but from my very first birth- fantastic, helpful, caring nurses.

phebbie said...

hmmmmmm..... "afearedness" to have a baby is worrying me, joy that comes with motherhood is making me long for one....

ify onyekwelu said...

Awwwwww!
Lucky you!
You car so blessed ooo!
Very interesting stories today.
May God continue to bless our homes, Amen.

Bae Bae said...

When u give birth in the US, you'd be treated like some queen.. From ur ob/gyn to the nurses on duty...

Anonymous said...

These stories are meant to be entertaining as well as educative. Did anyone notice the difference /moral in the 2 stories? Dear pregnant women,it is highly advised that you do a lot of walking towards the end of your pregnancy, especially when labor starts. Once contraction starts, pls try to walk as much as possible, don't just lie there for doctors to be poking your vagina every hour, walk around. It helps the cervix open up faster, the amount of walking you do when labor begins is the difference between 10 hours of labour or 24 hours of labor. Except you're going the way of epidural, if not, my sisters, become Johnny Walker, keep walking! Typing from experience.

prettyjules said...

Okay ooohhh remember to come back and tell us the experience..

Anonymous said...

I will never forget Dr Chinedu with his big fat fingers chai.

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