Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Labour Room Drama 117

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Monday, 28 November 2016

Labour Room Drama 117





Madam Korks with the cookies and cream, i hail ooo.

I know i am the cookies and cream you keep referring to, i love u too Stellz baby. BVNs make una no mind me, i am not a good writer.
So to my LRD;


My labour was one of the shortest 1st time childbirth stories i have ever heard of.


I was gifted supernatural childbirth and i read/prayed it every night as i no get insurance so the fear of the hospital bill made me fear CS ehn.


The hubs was in Naija towards the end of my pregnancy and my MIL came to stay with me.

At 40 weeks, the baby refused to come out o, i drank castor oil twice, purged like no man's business, took long walks, still my diva no ready show. So i was asked to come for induction i.e the real action.


The doctor put 1 tablet in my privates and asked me to go rest, i didnt feel anything so i went out with my sisters, i ate jollof and chicken, drank juice and orishirishi, went back to the hospital after 4 hours them put another pill, i still no feel anything and started telling myself if this is labour i fit dey born every year oo. 


When it was time to be checked, na there doctor do the cervical sweep, OMO i went to heaven and was sent back down and by now i and my sisters had started crying, me from the pain, my sisters from seeing me cry and i was just 4cm.

I had to move to the labour ward, i walked bare feet in the middle of winter and i no feel the cold. i was admitted and checked, here i was 6cm, i asked for epidural but my contractions were too closely timed so i couldnt be given, i kept pulling and hitting my MIL as i no wan shout, when i vomitted all my rice and nothing remain to vomit again, i asked for Ice to chew.

 when 1 contraction came i spat it all out, all these i was saying ' please o nurse comman do CS, i no go born again, i will do surrogate for next baby'


Suddenly i felt like popping and i kept shouting ' Mo fe yagbe ooo, mo fe ya gbe ooo' the nurse obviously didnt understand so my MIL said i should poop there thats how the nurse heard, checked me and screamed you are 10cm, how did you get there so quickly for my mind i thought i ran ni. Na so them call dr and he came in with 1 cute male student doctor i was forming for before labour.


 Omo i forgot forming and pushed my privates in their face, i was asked to push, i pushed 3ce and my little diva came out, the placenta came out immediately and i was moving around by evening.

My diva is almost one and to born twins dey hungry me now......



*Hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahaha to born twins dey hungry you?Hahahahahahahhahaahahha...Abeg abeg abeg...



30 comments:

  1. You re very funny. Congratulations to you.

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    Replies
    1. When u said shortest, I thought u gave birth in the car

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  2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚twins?

    😈😈

    *sips shekpe then smokes weed*

    ReplyDelete
  3. maybe she wan born twins and forget about child bearing.
    lol
    happy birthday in advance to your diva

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hehehe.so all in all,how long was d process.the content somehow contradicted the beginning of your story.

    I Neva see my own o stellz

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  5. Hahhhhhhhaaaaa very funny.congrats poster

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  6. Na my prayer be that, oh God of mercy, gift me with twin (boy-girl or boy-boy). Chai! Fear dey always catch me when i read LRD as a mummy in the making that i is nau.

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  7. Laughing....laughing......smilin.....it isn't easy to b a woman. Smilin....tank God ooooooo......d same happened to me.

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  8. hahahahaha what a funny and lovely story. God bless your diva

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  9. God will give you the twins. Amen

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  10. Lol@ I ran ni. Nice one poster.God bless our kids.

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  11. Lol very funny woman
    OK na no problem shey na twins
    Oluwa don hear am

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lolzzzz so funny, dis lrd dey make mi to go marry quick quick,thank God for u,

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  13. Hahahaha @ push privates in their face. Very funny.

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  14. Hahahahaha funny woman. I want twins too o

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  15. Congrats dear n I wish u to get ur heart desire(twins)

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  16. Please what is ORISHIRISHI?

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  17. U dey find twin? After this one? Ok na.

    Congrats

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  18. Funny poster. HBD in advance to your diva.

    And twins conception to you and me.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Choi... Mo few ya gbe ooo. Mo fe yagbe oooo. I can just imagine the scene. God bless your princess.

    ReplyDelete
  20. May my labour be this short and easy, Amen!

    ReplyDelete
  21. pregnant diabetic bv30 November 2016 at 14:16

    Enter your comment...congrats

    ReplyDelete

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