Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Pregnant Unmarried Pastor Desiree Allen Tells Her Story -MUST READ

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Thursday, 24 November 2016

Pregnant Unmarried Pastor Desiree Allen Tells Her Story -MUST READ

Pregnant unmarried New York pastor Desiree Allen has open up about the criticisms and negativity trailing her situation..



In an article on her blog, the Harlem Pastor wrote that she cannot carry the weight of people's Judgment about her pregnancy and that she refuses to be shamed out of the Pulpit. She wrote:

''I found out I was pregnant at the happiest place on earth. It was Mother’s Day and I was on vacation at Disney World. Go figure. I noticed my normally regular period hadn’t come which is usually no biggie. I would chalk it up to stress. Except now, thanks to acupuncture, I was used to it coming like clockwork. It’s only day one I told myself. It’ll come tomorrow. And it did, but only stopped by for a brief visit before disappearing into the abyss. I waited for her to come back. She never did.


The next day, I did what any normal sane woman would do. Scoured the resort for pregnancy tests like a madwoman. I went to every store on my resort AND the sister resort. Not a test in sight. No not one. How is this the happiest place on earth and you not expect people to get pregnant or need a pregnancy test? How do you have the mind to have a chip at the bottom of my cup that electronically determines how many more refills I have at the soda machine, but not sell an EPT Pregnancy Test? Or at least a Disney knock-off brand. I wasn’t giving up.


 I went to the front desk. They always have extra shoelaces, cans of beans or whatever you need. Maybe just maybe they had a pregnancy test. Nope, but the lady at the front did discreetly let me know there was an offsite pharmacy that would deliver these “sorts of things” to the resort for a fee. She slipped me the card like she was passing me a bag of weed and k2.

Was I really this desperate? You know I was. I placed the order and waited for a test to confirm what I already knew.


I was pregnant. My immediate reaction was shock. This was not planned. Yes, I know it’s a potential consequence of having sex, but not one readily expected. With the exception of living a pretty much celibate lifestyle in my twenties I had been having sex on and off since I was 15 and had never been pregnant. In fact, I assumed when I was ready it would be very hard for me to conceive. Boy did I miscalculate that.


After the initial shock was joy. Yet, underneath something else was lingering. Anger? No. Disappointment? No. It was pure and utter dread. Not at being pregnant. Not at whether or not I would be a good mother. What had my stomach turning, other than nausea, was me being pregnant AND a pastor. Let’s face it. The church has not had a good track record of accepting unmarried women who got pregnant. If you’ve been in church for any period of time you’ve heard or witnessed the aftermath. 


Shunning, slut shaming, being sat down from your position, having to go up in front of the church and confess your sin, etc. etc. No one can be naïve enough to say this type of stuff doesn’t happen in church. An ugly truth is people in church leadership have sex outside of marriage, affairs, do drugs, drink, so on and so forth. Generally, these are not considered acceptable acts. BUT I have seen many churches turn a blind eye to this behavior, because it can be hidden. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. To be pregnant is a very visible indication of a private act and for some reason provides people with more of a need to respond.


You may as well Scarlet Letter it up and place a big ole S on your chest for sex Hester Prynne style. “The church” is already harsher on women for their “crimes,” but being a pastor also meant that both me and my fiancé were going to go through this publicly. I didn’t know what that meant, how it would affect my job and if I was prepared to deal with it.


Pregnancy already inherently diminishes some anonymity as people feel it their right to invade your personal space, offer up unsolicited advice and ask you private questions. Pastorship inherently makes some feel your personal life is their public business as you lose some sense of individuality for the sake of belonging to the church. As a pretty private person I had always struggled with the latter. Adding pregnancy seemed like my worse nightmare.


It was not as if I had a blueprint for this in my church. My pastors had been very open about having their first child while unmarried in college. That was more than 20 years ago. They were young. None of us were there. They were not pastors then. It was in the past enough to be hazy memory and turn into a testimony. Many of us know the struggles we have had in the past. For many, it’s what brought us to church. Yet, as soon as we get far enough away from our struggles to label them “redeemable” or for them not to be in the forefront of our minds it becomes much easier to give someone else the side eye for behavior we don’t agree with.


 It is often easier to NOT afford others the grace we were so freely offered. I had experienced people judge everything from my clothing to social media posts fully aware that if it had been another pastor they would’ve gotten a pass. My apprehension was not unwarranted and although privately excited I was concerned about public persona. I did a lot of wrestling that week. I came to grips with the reality that part of the monster in my head was created by me. My past. My upbringing. What I was taught about the bible.


I realized I had some baggage and I wanted to deal with this pregnancy on my own terms regardless of how people felt or responded. In those first few months I decided I couldn’t carry the weight of others’ opinions and judgments including my own. I also had to confront the ways in which I judged others based on their decisions and actions. I decided I was going to walk with my head held high, because I was proud and excited to be pregnant. Often, when people think you’ve done something wrong or have sinned they want you to walk around with your head low in guilt.


 Otherwise, how would THEY know you were sorry? Well, I wasn’t sorry or ashamed. Shame and happiness cannot reside in the same place. I decided to only surround myself with those who had positive energy. I knew there would be rough days, but I also knew the good would outweigh the bad. So when the first comment was made about my pregnancy being an abomination I wasn’t bothered, because it wasn’t MY truth. Plus who uses abomination anyway? Can we say antiquated?


I had a choice on how to define my own happy and write my own story. I thought about the women who were belittled in their churches for being pregnant. The women who felt abortion was a better option than humiliation. The girl or young women of a pastor forced into abortion, because the family couldn’t handle the shame. The woman who left the church permanently because the members couldn’t accept her child. 


The woman who watched the same people who loved her each Sunday avoid her like a plague. The woman who would give up everything to be pregnant regardless of the circumstances and still finds her womb bare. So many women who may have made a different choice if they understood the power they had. If someone had told them, it was ok to make the best choice for them ignoring the outside voices. It would get better. They could outlive this. I understood what some people thought, what some scriptures said, but also the validity of my own experience.


At three months I revealed my pregnancy to the staff at my church. It wasn’t planned. It was at our annual staff retreat. If you could see inside my mind you would have seen the warring back and forth. It kind of looked like this:

“Do it now.”
“What? Are you crazy? This is not the time.”
“It may not be your timing, but it IS the perfect time.”
“Can’t I wait? Or tell them one by one?”
“Well if you wanted to wait you shouldn’t have worn that dress. Come on. It will be like pulling off a Band-Aid. Have this conversation once and you won’t have to have it again.”
“I’m nervous.”
“You’ll be fine. The outcome will be better than expected.”

The words kind of fell out of my mouth in front of everyone. I explained my joy and the importance this did not undo and diminish all the work and dedication I had put in for six years. I felt empowered. I shared what I wanted to share, how I wanted to share, own my own terms. I wasn’t responding to anyone or defending myself. I was standing in my truth. 

In a moment I will never forget, our executive pastor had the staff encircle around me and they begin to pray. A noise that can only be described as a wail left my mouth and I broke. To the point of needing a chair to sit in. I broke in the most beautiful way possible. In the breaking I was free. 

That ugly Jesus cry released every anxiety, fear and worry holding me down.

They promised to protect me and support me. In that moment I saw God. It was a moment that transcended boundaries or judgment. It was pure love. I felt free.

One of my favorite lines from The Scarlet Letter is: “She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom.” I was carrying a lot of weight and baggage. The weight of what if. The weight of my upbringing. The weight of others’ opinions. The weight of judgment. It was heavy and I did the hard work of dropping that weight. I have no plans of picking it back up.


So no, I cannot carry your weight about MY situation. Whoever you are. I have my own beautiful, amazing and miraculous weight to carry for the next few months and a lifetime''.


from -notcindarella.com

*WOW..I dont know what to say..I just noted that THE CHURCH STOOD BY HER..which is good but maybe she should stop pastoring people before she sends off the wrong signal that what she did is okay.






137 comments:

Anonymous said...

I cudnt read ol that now um left wondering if the holy ghost got her pregnant...

Becky Divine said...

Indeed Judgement will start in the church! Our God is really an awesome, amazing, merciful and patient God!

Congratulations to her... let God be the judge!

Anonymous said...

why can't they go straight to the point, who wants to know about how u search on the island for whatever or how u didn't see ur period. I stopped reading after that.

DonMayor said...

Fornicating pastor. Imagine the rubbish. I just pity all the blind followers.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Hmmm.... i think she should take a back seat until she gives birth and weans her child. But this is America right? So what can I say? She's braver than a lot who would have aborted to save face and still preach to young girls against it (my friends church in Abuja that's what her choir mistress did!!! Infact it was a doctor in church that helped her 'flush'). So on that note this woman is brave and honest and I leave her to her maker.

Loveme Jeje said...

Chai body no be firewood ooo. She tasted the adam's apple and it got stuck.

Pasitor oooo. You have already given your answer by comparing with others at the pulpit. Instead of owing up at sinning, you are comparing with others. It is well.

Goodluck to you. Happy birthing. I pray others that looked up to you, dont give up

Mystique said...

No remorse whatsoever.
A pastor and yoi were fornicating.
This our God is a very patient God, but He's also a Consuming Fire.
"For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction".
Continue.

Anonymous said...

Pastor and you're having pre-marital
sex???? Really?????
So what would you teach the youth in your church???

Trey Mama said...

Hmmm...

DonMayor said...

This is when I need ISIS most. To come and blow this pastor to pieces with her entire church and followers. Nonsense!

Anonymous said...

I don't understand. So thi is not even an apology to the people she hs Been deceiving for years about holiness. She's even feeling entitled to committing sin and showing off. Wonders in ogbete!!!

Anonymous said...

She is just a human being. Only God is Superhuman. Churches are abode for sinners to retrace their steps and remember there are millions who are praying earnestly for the fruits of the womb. So let us support in praying that she be freely fulfilled and continue to be a living example of the mercy and grace of the Almighty.

Onomiroro Okeh said...

I've got my Bible to teach me and God to reach out to. Because, each day I get to realise one wrong teaching or preaching will send you to hell if you're too lazy to search it out in bible. The scripture paints a clear picture be sure to use that to validate what you do, hear, see, or speak about. This is no time for laziness. Get up! Read and study your bible. Let that guide you and pray for the salvation of your soul.

Anonymous said...

Its a good thing her church stood by her but seriously its gonna send a wrong signal cos you a'int practicing what you are preaching,lead by example.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Ok.normally I don't mind long articles but this headache no gree me read.I don't even know what to say.as a pastor she did wrong though but everyone makes mistakes.this is why I always say people should stop acting like pastors are Gods. As much as I like my GO and my church,I can't carry his matter for head outside as I don't live with him.he's bound to make mistakes so I can't defend what I don't know

Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

all this dogo magana just to justify your act?

i don't have time to read this biko.

you were busy fucking upandan and preaching something else on the alter.

i don't blame you sha, sex is sweet.

Anonymous said...

Enter your comment...No matter how you try to justify it, you fucked up. But life goes on. Pick yourself up and move on.

SANDY NEKY said...

Hian!!! Short of words..

ZIONA said...

pastor i wont jugde u but stop making excuses for ur actions.where is the father. dey should have married her and save her this embarrassment .but from her write up,its like she just wants a baby without a man.

Monkeynofine said...

Waiting cucumber go cause.

Chysugar said...

Ok

marriedchick said...

thank you for been open, some would opt for abortion so they can hide their shame...many single ladies still go for abortions because they are afraid of what the church and society will say especially when they are preparing for their weddings... i believe that no one is above mistake and once committed you should stand firm and deem the consequences.

Anonymous said...

Pastor practicing fornication no remorse. Well nobody is perfect who are mine to judge.

Shantelle's Empire said...

My friend,drink water and sit down! Shameless woman doing apiam way and climbimg pulpit to decieve others. So because other 'pastors' drink and do all sort means you must engage in pre marital sex,why not be an exception?
This is why some ppl have stopped going to church,cos even those that should lead by example are soaking themselves in more sin and justifying it. Like that one that said,level of grace.
End time pastors everywhere.

Intelligentsia princess loves the Queen said...

End time fornicating pastor
@BV Stephen, your comment about that HIV post was quite insensitive and very unprofessional. Am also a qualified registered nurse and we're taught to be sympathetic and empathetic towards all our patients, irrespective of there past life styles, sexual orientations, religion, nationality, tribe etc.
As a professional you're supposed to treat all patient equally no matter what you think about them.
Am ashamed that ugly statement came from a qualified registered nurse life you. Am sure you're among those hungry people that joined nursing bcoz of the pay and job security, u don't have an iota of nurturing in your bone.
Don't forget nursing is all about nurturing and caring which if absent it is no longer nursing. Don't go about giving us bad name, next time think before you type.

Great nurses........

Minnie Rexpect said...

All I see here is her capitalising on how unmarried pregnant women are treated and using it to justify her actions.
She's a pastor and should learn to lead by example.
The sad thing is most 'acclaimed' followers of Christ do not practice what they preach. If she didn't get pregnant she would have continued in premarital sex but as belle no dey hide and she didn't want 2-0 she came up with this lame piece.
No one is perfect I know but with this piece she said abi wrote she's directly or indirectly supporting her actions.

Villager said...

True to God, I deedn't reed.

DM said...

All this long grammar on-top pregnancy. She is trying so much to justify her wrong doing.

Shantelle's Empire said...

Imagine going to her for counselling on how to stop fornicating,not knowing she is a regular reciever.

joseph rukky said...

huh (mouth open)

Nnamdi said...

The Bible is my watchword.

Everyday I keep seeing reasons why I don't need a church before I can commune or worship my God. God is in my heart.

Churches this days be twisting things to make abominable things normal. Women will see this trend of hers as a good thing and want to emulate.

oluwatoyosi said...

Stella I second that. Such person can't pastor me. But the parts she was trying to justify her been pregnant. A pastor of God fornicating and shows no remorse. That's not too good but who am I to judge. Wishing her safe delivery.

Anonymous said...

Wow!long epistle and interesting story
A child is a gift from God that can't be rejected
I am so glad that the church stood by her instead of condemning her.


Missylynn

Dewdrop said...

Really?

Shantelle's Empire said...

If you want to be in the world,be in the world and be free of guilty 'conchest'.
Why carry the holy book and be living a fake life,any body force you? Decieving yourself.

Nne nwa said...

the end is near.

seconded@ Stella, she should step down till after her wedding. she is a pastor for pete's sake.

if a common lector is pregnant out of wedlock in catholic, the person has to step down not to talk about a PASTOR.

nothing justifies premarital pregnancy so hapu ogologo okwu

Mystique said...

Nobody is asking her to stop coming to church. But she should step down from her post. She cannot lead others and minister for God, while she is comforting sin. "Shall we continue in sin because grace is in abundance? God forbid!"

I'veBeenTouchedByAnAngelWithLove said...

She doesn't give a fcuk that she fcuked when she shouldn't.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm and that is how baby number 2 will be loading soon! Chic yes you are forgiven but being on that pulpit is making you the poster girl for pre-marital sex, which is not Jehovah Jireh's way. So, step down and serve the Lord by helping the youth in the church avoid this.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a sin to be having premarital sex?
This isn't about how the church sees or reacts to this but she was dwelling in sin and justifying it by stating others that does drugs etc. I hope the youths in her church still values her presence.
I am no judge of man and I did have premarital sex.
The church stood by her, great!!

MrsBee

Shantelle's Empire said...

*Climbing*

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Very senseless comment.how old are you again?

stephan said...

Hmmm.odiegwu!.

DonMayor said...

Yes! This are the pastor's that make Christianity look so disgusting at time.

Anonymous said...

Many of you judges would have preferred if she killed the child, even your fathers that are pastors do worse things like beating your mums to pulp at the slightest provocation.do not judge others.she claimed it was her fiance right,very good what if she was raped what would you advise her to do.we are not God stop judging others .

Becky Divine said...

Whoa! Like seriously?? E don reach like that?

Shantelle's Empire said...

Not once. Didnt you read where she said she's bn having sex on and off since she was 15?
Like seriously 15? Hoe life

Rhoda Rex said...

Don, Haba mana... Why na?

Anonymous said...

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

1 Corinthians 5: 9I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sisterc but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”

1 Timothy 3:2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

Titus 2: 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Spicygirl said...

Stella....i disagree with you...it will not send the wrong signal....The signal i get from this message is..Jesus saying "Come as you are....broken, scared, sinful, with all your mistakes...i accept you, and i love you".... if you really think about it, its what Jesus would do..Pure love!!

Anonymous said...

Bless you for this comment! Totally agree!!!

Keesha said...

Lol

pure inspirations said...

This is so wrong...so wrong. I will say the truth and I will do so in love.

How much the truth has been watered down. Smh. My heart weeps. Her church supported her instead of rebuking her? Smh.

Rebuke her. Tell her what she did was wrong! That's d way a Church working in God's Word will respond.

It's ultimately to draw her to repentance.

When we become tolerant of these things we simpy are creating more room for pre-marital sex which clearly God's Word forbids.



Fornication in church? And she is a pastor?

In 1 Cor, Paul pointed out how to deal with such situations. God's Word will not change for anybody. It's still d same in Paul's time as it is now.

I cry for ur repentance madam.

1Cor 5:11-13

"I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idol.. Don't even eat with such people. It isn't my responsibility to judge outsiders but it is certainly your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.

God will judge those outside but as the Scriptures say, 'you must remove the evil person among you.' "

Zero tolerance for sin.


Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I've been worried about the church and its sick state since I read this news, in fact I've been trolling her post since yesterday . This is a very sickening attitude in the house of God. No impunity at all, no fear of God. She did the wrong thing but from her article, she's not remorseful at all. Forming strong woman. I dealt with fornication at age 19 but I'm grateful to God for saving but I was also crying to God for help and he saved me by his grace. Madam pastor, you don't need to be defensive, accept your fault,make peace with God and make it a message. Sexual purity is God's agenda for us. Stop misleading people, you'll account to God soon.

uc1million d mathematician said...

The way she is trying to justify her action beats my imagination...my eyez have seen my ears.

OmoBee said...

Pastor engaging in premarital sex and still trying to justify her actions. SMH
I'm not judging, but she should quit the pulpit for a while, BTW, she didn't mention anything about getting married anytime soon?

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Wowwww that's all i can say. Who am i to pass judgement?

It's good you came out publicly.

BEDS AND ROSES said...

where is the father of d child. They are both grown adults, why cant they just get married ? i was waiting for her to say she was pregnant for a married man/pastor in the church.
So if her 'fiance' is a single man. Why not just marry him in a small ceremony and end all these epistle.
Or in her mind they have to do pre-marital classes, blood test,wedding planning and notify church for 1yr first.
I don't think that man is indeed her 'fiance'. Becos all they need to do is just plan a fast wedding.
Two grown engaged couple get pregnant, pastor or no pastor it shdnt be much of a problem. Or am i missing something in this epistle?

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

This long epistle on top being pregnant?
In this hot weather.

queen hadassah said...

This is sick..she and her fiance had been having sex, it wasn't a mistake, she wasn't raped, it wasn't a fling and I'm sure they are still gbenshing till now! That's why some Pentecostal churches in Nigeria don't ordain unmarried people as deacons/deaconess or pastors. Because body no be firewood, that unmarried pastor is definitely having sex with someone. Most times we hear of widowed pastors re- marrying few months after their spouse passed away and we condemn them. These pastors are also human beings like us but because they fear God they can't engage in fornication and so re-marry early.

Anonymous said...

I was seriously in doubts about how much of ur church u truly r, considering the fact that u think the church okays makeup and stuff, buh nt anymore. Going by ur. "As much as I like my GO and my church,I can't carry his matter for head outside as I don't live with him.he's bound to make mistakes so I can't defend what I don't know". It shows u don't really understand the ministry.

Sensa Greene said...

People just likw to play victim. I didnt read everything, stopped at where she saod her pastor had their child out of wedlock 20yrs ago.
All i have to say is that she is in a position of authority and trust. Baby christians, new comers may get the wrong message. The word of God is for our edification. That's is why Paul said he brings his body into subjection so that after preaching the word he doesn't become cast away. As a pastor, she should have asked for grace and not be in any place that will make her fornicate thereby subjecting and subduing the flesh. I commend her tho for not trying to abort just to save her name and ministry. God who looks upon the heart of man bless and keep her and grant a safe delivery. Selah!

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of the time i was 25. I was dating a very rich guy,but he wasn't really my type. I liked his personality but he was fat and wasn't too good in speaking English,not so good in bed either, we hardly even made love,i always complained and in 5mins he's done. But the money was surplus.
I didn't even plan on dating him, it just happened. We had sex and after that day he just started calling me his girlfriend, so i just played along. I liked him,but there was no love. more like a friend. Waited for the love to grow but it never did.
We used protection, but one day the condom broke(1st time iv ever experienced such) i felt smthn inside me, but young and naïve. i just asked him if he came inside me. And he said NO. (thinking back now i think he did it purposely)
That is how my period never came, came for a day,but very little bleeding.
I started having cramps o, and feeling sick. Told the guy he was sooooo happy, while i was sad. Did a PG test and it was positive.
I cried ehnnnn, while dis guy was sooooo happy. Already saying he was going to tell his parents to come meet mine and plan for introduction.
I was sooooo scared, i just thought. "how will i marry a man i don't love''. Will i just be in a loveless marriage and just be enjoying his money? i cldnt live like that.
Against his wishes i lied to him i cldnt face my parents and they will be disappointed if i got pregnant before marriage becos no one in my family has done it. Knowing in my heart that my parents wouldn't object so far i got married. But i cldnt marry a guy i didn't love.
We went for an abortion after. The guy wasn't happy at all. And the relationship broke months after because of that.
Looking back now my child would have been like 5yrs old. Wld love have grown between us? or could i just have managed him. Living my life in ikoyi right now, with all the money,G-wagon etc but with a husband i am not sexually attracted to and i do not love.
I'm still waiting on true love though. The guy i started dating after him which i loved with all my soul. Broke up with me and married someone else.
Such is life.

Y said...

God bless you. No remorse.... what are you telling d youth? They cn fuck,our ever merciful God wld forgive them their sins. They shldnt worry. Do what you like and ask God for forgiveness after every... mschewww

Omasiri said...

Summary please. Hian!

Anonymous said...

This is when you need Jesus the most.

To teach you to have empathy. To condemn wholeheartedly the act but not shun her.

Kiks said...

I turned down every opportunity to hold a position in school fellowship those days simply because I wasn't sure I could lead by example. And what was the sin sef? Anytime I hear what is considered worldly music, I jump up and I know the what the Bible says about partying spirit. I couldn't guarantee that I would stop dancing to or listening to those type of music. I wasn't even a party animal. My point is you should practice what you preach or step down from the pulpit and continue your sin in the congregation till God delivers you.

Chuks Bruno said...

This long epistle to justify her shameless act? Haba even Paul said if you can't hold body you marry. Why do this to the body of Christ. And you want to act like you are not the first person...

Anonymous said...

Obulu godu Reuben Abati...

Anonymous said...

As I read, at a point I thought may be she mistakenly got an insemination (Jane The Virgin) .. lol.. or may be she drank a cup of "milk" not knowing it was sperm! (whatever). Lady you had PRE-MARITAL SEX! You opened those legs, baby!
So, allow people to talk, it is not judging! Pastor!!! We know we all commit some stuff but you are a pastor! Ya, lead by example! Pastor ogwugwu oge!

Anonymous said...

Guilty conscience. Well God is the judge!

Anonymous said...

Too long jare,all this epistle untop unprotected sex just to justify yourself ,pregnancy by someone who preaches no sex before marriage. Wish you safe delivery

Chinyere Emeka said...

May God forgive us all.

Anonymous said...

@ chicketo Goshhhhhh you this girl,you will always have a similar story.you forgot to tell us you've been to this pastor's church before when you went to US on holiday.you have become so irritating to people on this blog.damn you lost it

ukwu dimond said...

Is ok

Vivilicious said...

The only thing I see is "I'm not sorry or ashamed". You were carrying the weight of your upbringing, others' opinion and judgment, but you weren't carrying the weight of knowing you've let down the God who called you and the People whom you are supposed to lead in the right path.
Not judging, but it would have been better for you to at least be sober and sorry for your sin.

Monkeynofine said...

Lol easy man

Atheist 2 said...

Hahahahahahahaha haha! If I talk na all these brainwashed kids will start insulting their parents. I'm not surprised oh. How about these passages concerning hell. Daniel 12:2, the just are raised to everlasting life and the unjust to everlasting punishment. The Hebrew word for everlasting is used in both instances. You can't have your cake and eat too.
I asked. If God knows the future, why did he create poeple whom he knew would never turn to him and would therefore end up in hell?

This bitch been fucking, sucking and killing babies since she was 15!!!!! Christians. Christians! Make una take time o.

Note; if you are taking morning pills either before or after sex. It's an abortion. You are a baby killer and you shall die.

Nne nwa said...

that is y you are anonymous and she is chikito
she is experienced and you are not
she goes out a lot and you don't
she hears things and you don't
she witness things and you don't

get used to it!!

Vivilicious said...

Don't mind them, level of grace ko. Judgment shall indeed start in the church.
The annoying thing is DAT she is not even sorry for her actions. Mtchew....end time pastor, leading people astray.

Mystique said...

But she wasn't raped!.
The Bible tells us that we are to judge those who are IN the CHURCH, and leave the outsiders to God.

Grace is not a license to sin!
It is true that grace brings freedom and that includes the freedom to make poor choices, but if you use your freedom to enslave yourself to sin, then you have missed the point of grace:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal 5:1)

The purpose of grace is to liberate the prisoner and give life to the dead. Grace is also good news for the poor (Lk 4:18-19). So if you use grace to enslave or impoverish yourself by making dumb decisions and indulging the flesh, then you are setting aside grace. You are not using it for its intended purpose. Grace liberates, but if you use your freedom to discard your freedom, then what was the point? You are no better off than when you started.

Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. (Rom 5:20)

Don’t ever fall for the lie that says “I can go on sinning so that grace may abound.” True, your sinning won’t affect God’s love for you, but it will surely affect you. It will enslave you and ultimately kill you. This is not God’s will for your life.

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. (Rom 6:1)

Grace is no more a license to sin than electricity is a license to electrocute yourself

True, you can use electricity to electrocute yourself but God forbid that you would! That’s not what it’s for. Grace, like electricity is meant to bring life not death and there is no life in sin.

We need to see sin for what it really is. It is not some mild and harmless activity like eating mama-put. As God warned Cain, Sin is a crouching beast that desires to master you. Running after Sin is about as smart as poking a pit-bull with a stick.

Grace is not a license to sin!!!!

Mystique said...

Pure inspirations, 😘😘😘😘

Mystique said...

Committing sin*

Nwa Nlecha said...

I really like the sincerity in you.

Mystique said...

You need a church. You don't say, because road accidents happen regularly you'd stop going to work and just lay under your blanket, do you?

For encouragement, comfort, feelowship. Even the Bible records that the believers met together to exhort and build one another up.

Hebrews 10:25 "not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as you see the day approaching."

Focus on God and His message, make Jesus the standard not your pastor, because Jesus is our Perfect Example.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Anon you're very funny.Pls people in my church use make-up and no one complains.some branches have fanatics tho who will so don't come and tell me about a church I've been a member for years now.so because I no carry GO matter for my head I don't understand the ministry??pls.I speak for just myself.I don't have control over what others do.I'm only sure of myself so why would I carry GO matter for head? Do I live with him?I can't defend what I don't know so pls read my comment properly and think about a good response next time before you come to type

Nwa Nlecha said...

Everything is not judging abeg.
She is a pastor, do you know what that means? There is a difference btw the truth and condemnation. The adulterous woman's case was different, those people stated what she did and went ahead to condemn her and also stated her punishment. Did she start telling stories of others who did it? She knelt down and was remorseful. And her life after she encountered Christ changed. So pls, stating the wrong that people did isn't judging.
Would you still be a Christian if you read in the bible that Paul got people pregnant after all he preached, or that Peter went about killing people or stealing.
Most people are self made pastors, and the holy spirit isn't present in their lives.
While she was taking off her clothes, she didn't remember her body is the temple of the holy ghost?
Pls, enough said already. If you have a child that steals, don't correct him/her oh, cos you might be judging them.

stephan said...

Awwwww!sweetheart I choose to pity who I want to pity,in as much as sex education have and is being taught,I will show no empathy to anybody who choose's to live a reckless life,just for the fun while damming the consequences. As for getting into the profession I wasn't born a nurse but i went to school to studya course that I love. And unless you are working for free then shut that guts of yours cos peeep like you act worst when encountered.talking about hunger when you havnt opened an NGO or visited an IDP camp to feed them homeless. Mtcheeeew go and get married to one or proly attend to them with your hands ungloved.

Anonymous said...

Ashewooo!

There is justification for everything if you want.

Why did I rob the man last night? Buhari times! Sounds plausible but wrong.

She is an olosho in disguise.

Tambolo Agbisi said...

This is fornication for crying out loud and she said she wasn't ashamed? If it's an ordinary person may be quite understandable but a pastor and still pastoring? Pls what will she be teaching her followers? That it's okay to fornicate? Is fornication no longer a sin? She should have been remorseful, asked for forgiveness and quietly relinquished her position as a pastor. But who am I to judge? God is indeed a merciful God! Jesus would have said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". So, let him judge.

Cherry said...

Mtcheww. Only trying to justify her actions. Am not judging her but the Bible sounds a serious warning about sexuals.What example does she give to the young ladies coming to the church. Let's say the truth here and stop cloning it to be bitter sweet melody.

Chidinma Grace said...

She av been put to reprobates mind that is void of repentance

Atheist 2 said...

St. Augustine wrote in the early fifth century, "we must conclude, that a husband is meant to rule over is wife as the spirit rules over the flesh." In Corinthians, St. Paul tried to explain the reason for male supremacy: For a woman was made out of man; and was not created for woman's sake, but woman for the sake of man.
In the first letter to Timothy, St. Paul says: Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness, I permit no woman to teach or have authority over men; she is to keep silent.

Copied

Achor Racheal said...

D story is long like terms and conditions

GERMAN JUICE said...

Am with you on this one.

Rx Mams said...

She's even talking about feeling empowered, like really?
It's totally unacceptable for a pastor of 6yrs to be pregnant outside wedlock, except she never preached against premarital sex. Anyways let God be the judge...

Anonymous said...

But this. Stephan:you are senseless o. Your last sentence is the most stupid,i've read. Ps;i am not a nurse

Anonymous said...

Only God knows who serves him. Who am I to judge you sister? A common sinner like me? Never! Having weighed the good against bad, I honk the message of acceptance, of love is most important here. For the Bible tells us that's what's most important to God. I have amazing friends (a couple) who have murdered their kids (had 2 abortions before marriage) for fear of shame. Now they don't have kids and are considering adoption to save the same shame they saved before. I mean adoption is all well and good but how do I live life like that? So bottom line, live, live well, to the best of your ability and the rest is no longer your work. It's Gods now.

Anonymous said...

Nne nwa whatever, God knows am not the anonymous but please re read what you wrote slowly and then you will see your senses are on exile.

Chidinma Gift said...

E no concern me

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Thanks for the response Nne.
Anonymous please read the response below yours.

IVORY said...

Everyone does something and finds a way to justify it. I've told people severlally,face and worship your God and not pastors Cruz we all have sinned. Nevertheless, she commited fornication while manning the pulpit. She should take a break and go make restitution with God and also acknowledge hwr wrong doing if not,she'd be telling her members that it's OK and anything goes.

IVORY said...

I mean! This is everything that is wrong with the church. Her getting pregnant outside wedlock is no problem but justifying it instead of making restitution as she's in a leadership position is quite annoying.

IVORY said...

Oh keep quiet! I was waiting for this. Who asked her to have premarital sex and without protection? Why is the option always "abortion"? What of not having sex at all and closing your legs like a mermaid? Abeg gerrout!

IVORY said...

Simple! You don't take the grace of God for granted! No one is a saint but when you're in sensitive positions,you are extremely careful,not just for yourself but for the sake of impressionable ones who are looking up to you.

Anonymous said...

What can we say, Satan continues his efforts to make sin less offensive, heaven less appealing, hell less horrific and the gospel less urgent!!!!

DonMayor said...

See my like your daddy @ Trinity fool.

Anonymous said...

@spicygirl you just made my day.. People are too quick to judge, but thank God for Jesus love. We all deserve a second chance irrespective of our various sins. Grace and Love is all we need.

DonMayor said...

See you girls shouting. Because she's one of you, everything is nice and good huh ?
Thays always the case with you here

Blossom said...

You have done something wrong,why not admit it instead of this long epistle justifying it?

It has happened but the truth is that a lot of people and particularly your congregations will be dissapointed because you let them down. Its a tome of sober reflection and not a time to say 'you have dropped the weight'.

Well,what do I know? Save delivery Pashitor.

Anonymous said...

So after rebuking her, what should happen? Send her out of the church? You know how many have left the church cos at their down times, the church scolded them and threw them out? Even when they caught a woman and wanted to stone her, Jesus said let him without sin cast the stone.. We all sin, lies, fornication etc are all the same in the face of God. If she has made peace with her creator, she can be punished but this is the time she need pure love. Maybe it the devil ploy to make her leave the ministry and there lies a lot in her.look at TD JAKES daughter, thank God the Father didn't throw her out, now she is working for God, and helping those who might be in the same condition and not giving up or committing suicide.

DonMayor said...

Her ministry was built upon lies and deceit from the beginning. Uou can't mock God.

Iphie dearie said...

Nice that she refused to crawl into a hole.

I admire her strength and courage.
Even though she refused to admit any regret which I understand cos any child created is of God,I feel she would have tried to shed more light on the need to be more disciplined especially if you hold an important position in Church.

Yes we have all sinned,but won't we use our lesson to teach others?
I'm reading just this article out of her blog and hopefully.. she has mentioned challenges she's faced,lessons learnt and the efforts she's taken to either marry her Man or stay away from Sex(which is the topic here).

There are other jobs/callings that will not require living right as one of it's criteria,she can pick one if she intends to go on with the man and the pulpit.


Iphie dearie said...

Yes Kiks!

Anonymous said...

This right here
Thank you Lord

I am happy for the church that stood by her, prayed for her. Celibacy without Christ is just nothing. The only way you can truly control your sexual urges is by yielding to the word of God and fleeing from every sexual temptation. Just run away. Don't even negotiate it. Don't think you are too strong.

You can be celibate for months and one small temptation would make you fall.

Thank God for his grace available to us. If not for Jesus dying for us, where would we have been? May the church continue to pray for her, tell her more about God and love her because this is when she needs it most.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

No regrets! Do you hear me? None! You made the decision, you stick to it and be at peace with your inner man. Stop looking back. You're not Lot's wife. Look forward. So what if you don't have that house in ikoyi yet? So what if you don't have the G-wagon yet? So what if you're still single till now? So what if the next guy was a douche bag? So what? Do you know who you will eventually marry and who he will become? Abeg there's a reason why it didn't work out. Let it be.

This is why I advice girls my age to befriend older women. My dear, you will hear things. THINGS! You're not the first going through such maybe/ maybe not experiences.

God has forgiven you and he will send you the right boo. Let the past be the past. Stop dwelling there.

Olaide Davies said...

I wonder the type of Bible they are reading over there. As for me. I can never allow that kind of person to pastor me.

Tetrina said...

Hahahahaha my Shantelle ooo, lol @regular receiver.

Tetrina said...

I'm telling you!! Stopped reading when it appeared she was making excuses and justifying her actions.

Broomstick said...

You obviously didn't read the entire writeup

Broomstick said...

Shantelle, though English is a borrowed language, try and assimilate before commenting and judging. "Once committed" doesn't mean she had sex once😏

Shantelle's Empire said...

Broomstick,i understand you want to be noticed. Next time learn the meaning of 'context' before rushing to type. Ominiknowest figure out the rest yourself,i dont have time for dumbfucks.

Shyla said...

Madam Pastor if you like write another epistle to the Romans, it will still not justify this abomination you just did as a minister of God! Haba! Where do you all find your gullible followers? On a good day, you are supposed to step down from the pulpit and go seek the genuine face of God. This is not right as a supposed servant of God mehn. Make una no de mock God cos he is all forgiving. I am a sinner yes, but you are a minister of God. Get down from that pulpit. You have desecrated it if you dont know. You dont justify your fucking action as being right. It is all shades of wrong as a 'pastor'. Mbanu!
Judgement indeed will start from the house of God.

Anonymous said...

Is she pregnant for a marred man too, why he can't marry her?

Oby O said...

This Stephan of i know the hospital you work, i will make sure you stop working there. .i can imagine how wicked you will be as a nurse....i take customer service very seriously...i cant believe you are a nurse...may my enemy not fall into your hands...

Oby O said...

You dont need man is what you meant to say.....worship God in spirit and truth...God will judge everyone one according to their deeds....

Tilly said...

English is really degenerating

Tilly said...

Here is another person justifying his actions.

iyke david said...

In other words,funication is not a sin?
Mtweeew!shit happens!

iyke david said...

In other words,funication is not a sin?
Mtweeew!shit happens!

Anonymous said...

U don't 'carry his matter for head' buh u can pray his prayers. Even pastors who do the wrongest things still have members come out and defend them to the last. Go thru ur membership class, Then I'll ask u again what the church's take on makeup etc is.ciao

Anonymous said...

All the judgemental nigerians come out oh. she pregnant thank God for her but we didn't need this Kong story of justification na. serious guilty con con

Anonymous said...

Tafia. you are you.not a child of God? are you without sin? So jow she is pregnant what should she do? Abort? Pls sharap. God embraced the prostitute so who are you to take mchew

Anonymous said...

Tafia. you are you.not a child of God? are you without sin? So jow she is pregnant what should she do? Abort? Pls sharap. God embraced the prostitute so who are you to take mchew

Anonymous said...

Chisos!!!... My chest.....

Unknown said...

Lol@ regular receiver

oluwaseun ekundayo said...

Lol@ regular receiver

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